It was three years after the creation of the planet Plit. There where five distinctive races of people: the Dinosaurs, the oldest race; The Yoshis, the second oldest race, and a mutation of Dinosaur; the Cheep Cheeps, a crossbreed between fish and Dinosaur; the Mushroomers, a mutated fungus. The fourth oldest race, and the one that concerns us most, were the Koopas, who where also a mutated strain of Dinosaur.
Now, the Yoshis and Koopas were like cousins, and all of their tribes were friends. There came a time when the oldest Koopa (also a Korg, strange form of Koopa that seemed to be slightly stronger and taller than normal Koopas) met with the smartest Yoshi. Both of these were strong mages. And they decided to create a new creature that would bond the Yoshis and Koopas together for ever.
The Yoshi would design the body. The Yoshi decided to make the body in the form of a younger and larger him. He would be three times the size of a normal Yoshi. The Yoshi also decided that the creature would be able to change his color (all Yoshis were green in those days, though some Yoshis’ scales had started to change color at the edges). The scales would be as hard as Gold Metal, a strange substance that was unbreakable, and the sharpest of metals. This metal was so strong, it needed a temperature of 230 thousand degrees Celsius to become soft enough to shape into a ring or vase. (War was an unknown idea, so spears and shields were unnecessary.) The teeth and claws, two on each hand and three on each foot, would be sharp enough to cut through Silver Metal, the second strongest metal on the planet of Plit. Temperatures of 750 degrees Celsius were needed to make it malleable. The temperature of the creature’s fire breath would be 230 thousand degrees Celsius.
The Koopa would make the mind of the creature. The creature would have to have a desire to attain greater heights. The creature would also have the strange “Yoshi Baby Phenomenon”, the strange fact that Yoshi babies had a vocabulary of 230 words at birth, and knew what they meant. The creature must be cunning, fierce, and able to find and create complex patterns and links.
Finally, both of them were done. The
egg hatched. A small, white Yoshi lay curled up in the goop. A small eye
opened, and it turned from colorless to red with a blink of its eye. Its
mouth opened. A slight gurgle came from deep inside its throat. What happened
next contains so much fire, blood, pain, death, mayhem, destruction, and
murder, that just thinking about it makes me sick. Excuse me… much better.
All you need to know is that everybody in the area was destroyed, and that
the strange creature was safely stored away by the Mushroomer mage, at
the cost of his life. And truth be told, Koopas and Yoshis were forever
enemies.
Chapter 1: Return of Death
The year 45 B.D. (Bowser Dominium)
Bowser had just been defeated for the 57th time by Mario.
“Why can’t I beat him?!” he roared at the nearest guard.
“Um… Your kids get in your way?” offered the guard, who was new, and didn’t know that Bowser’s kids were as dangerous as he was.
“Those meddling kids! Bagels! Get my kids!”
The dog known as Bagels ran to Ludwig’s room first. Bagels then nipped him in the butt and ran to Bowser, Ludwig running after. When Bowser had stopped Ludwig, Bagels went and did the same thing to Iggy, Larry, Wendy, Morton, Roy, and Lemmy.
When all the Koopalings were present, and Morton had had his mouth crammed in with Wendy’s underwear, Bowser started to talk.
“After analyzing the last battle with Mario, I have determined that YOU ALL are the problem. So I want to know what you could have done better. Ludwig?”
“I could have put more cannons in the walls.”
“Iggy?”
“I could have put on less armor.”
“Yeah, so you could move!”
“Lemmy! Silence! Roy?”
“I could have done my new attack less.”
“Yes, drilling me into the wall was stupid. How long is your term in the dungeon?”
“Two weeks.”
“Good. Make it three. Larry?”
“I could have chewed his leg off when I had the chance.”
“Darn vegetarian.”
“Lemmy! Be quiet! Wendy?”
“I could have stopped worrying about my makeup.”
“And Lemmy?”
“I could have shot into Mario’s mouth instead of his face and his legs.”
Bowser braced himself, nodded to Wendy, and said, “Morton?”
Wendy took her underwear from Morton’s
mouth and the horror began.
“Idon’tknowcouldihavedoneanythingcauseRoywasdrillingeverythingandWendywascryingsoididn’t
knowwahttodosoicouldhavestoppedthinkaboutweddingcakeandstartedfightinginsteadand-”
Wendy and Roy both punched Morton into silence.
“So I’m going to put you all in the dungeon for, say… three, two, five, no to short, hm…”
“Lord Bowser!” yelled the guard that rushed into the throne room. “A terrible thing has happened! We are under attack!”
“What?!”
“I said that-”
“We know!!!”
Everyone rushed after the guard, who started to run to the castle battlements. “It’s a single creature but everything we do is useless!”
“What?!”
“I said-”
“We know!!!”
As they reached the battlements, they saw the chaos below. Bullet Bills and Bombshell Bills were being fired at a large Yoshi-shaped black object trampling through town. Everything was bouncing off the Thing’s hide. Every Koopa that went near the Black Thing disappeared. Kammy Koopa soared by and sent a fire blast straight at the Thing. The blast rocketed off the Thing and hit Kammy’s broom. Kammy fell off and ran back to the castle. Kamek appeared next to Bowser.
“Permission to send for the doomship?”
“Granted!” As Kamek disappeared, Bowser smiled as he remembered the new weapon on the doomship. It was a cannon that shot out Thwomps. Nothing could survive it. Mario had only lived because he managed to dodge the Thwomps, and not by much either.
The Thing reached the largest collection of cannons and the cannons and the Koopas on them disappeared. The doomship suddenly loomed over head. The large cannon fired. Boom! The Thwomp sailed at the Black Thing and hit! The Thwomp disappeared. The Black Thing was unfazed. Boom! Boom! The cannon fired twice. The first Thwomp disappeared, but the second suddenly changed direction five feet away from the Thing. The cannon was torn to pieces. The doomship started to turn around to flee.
“WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?! WHERE?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!” yelled Bowser!
“Who?!” yelled Lemmy.
“Good question,” said Bowser. As Kamek reappeared, Bowser asked, “Who is that?”
“Lord Bowser, I do not know. But it appears that the Thing is impervious to damage.”
“What?!”
“I said-”
“I know what you said!” yelled Bowser at his momentarily confused minion. “I’m not an idiot! Wait! Idiot! Of course! Playful!” This last phrase was directed at the Koopa family’s cat, Playful.
As the cat strode slowly to the battlements, the Black Thing stopped in its tracks. “Yes, slave?” asked the cat, or “Meow?” The Black Thing turned towards the Castle.
“Use your Death Stare of Death on that large Yoshi-shaped black object that will kill us all including you!!!”
“Oh… Okay”, or “Mo… Mew”.
Playful turned to the Black Thing, which had just reached the moat. Playful’s eyes turned red, then blue, then green, then orange, then white, and then into a color that wasn’t a color. It was a Void. A deep Void that searched eagerly for the one thing that could fill it: the Black Thing’s Soul.
The Black Thing stopped as it felt the Stare on it. Playful’s eyes started to get white around the edges. Slowly the white filled the Void. Then Playful’s eyes where completely white. And Playful lay down and went to sleep. Everyone watched the Black Thing. Two whole minutes passed in silence. Then, slowly the Black Thing’s mouth opened. Then… A GREAT BURST OF BLINDING WHITE FLAME BURST FROM THE THING’S MOUTH AND THE GATE, THE DRAWBRIGHE, THE PORTICULLIUS, AND THE FRONT BATTLEMENTS ALL MELTED INTO A SLAB OF SOFT HOT ROCK AS THE MOAT DRIED UP!!!
“WHAT?!” yelled Bowser. “WHY ISN’T IT DEAD?!”
“Not so loud, Bowser. You might make it come here!” said Kamek.
“I’m so glad we are on the right side battlement,” said Morton.
“Oh yeah.”
“Right.”
“Me too.”
“Scared of my fire?” asked the Black
Thing. “I want to speak with the ruler of
this place NOW and IN PRIVATE!”
“Of course, sir,” said a shocked and scared Bowser. He ran to the front gate.
When he got there, he was able to see the Black Thing. It was a giant Yoshi! It was half a foot taller than himself! Its claws were razor sharp, but they were completely black. So were the Yoshi’s scales, eyes, and teeth. Even its tongue was black.
“Ssssoooo,” said the Yoshi like a hiss. “Ssssoooo, you are the master of this place. You are not quite as advanced as I expected. It has been 976,785 million years since I was contained. You might have at least come up with a stronger weapon. Disssappointing.”
“Sorry, sir,” said Bowser. Disappointed, was he? Bowser was too.
“I am very sssuprisssed though about that attack. It wasss powerful. A lessssser creature would have sssuccumbed to that. I am lucky to have got away with my life. But I have lossst my Magic Powersss. Give them to me NOW.”
Bowser started to sweat. Was that possible? If he didn’t do something, he was a goner, and so were his kids. His kids! With new resolve Bowser stated, “I’m not sure that that is possible, my lord, for you see, no one has ever survived that before.”
“True. I sssupossse that no one has. But why are you ssssoooo well armed? I think you have enemiesss. Ssssoooo I will make a trade. My magic for your enemiesss. Deal or Death. Deal?” said the giant Yoshi in mocking tone. The Yoshi held out one great clawed hand. Bowser took it and shook.
“Deal. But might I ask what your name is?”
“My name?” said the Yoshi with a trace of sadness. “I am called many things.” The Yoshi smirked and continued in an eviler and crueler voice than before. “Evil, Murder, Monssster, Vile Creation, God’sss Folly, Peace Ssshatterer, Thing, but you may call me Death... Yesss, Death. DEATH!!! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! No… that’s not right… here we go… BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Much more like it.”
Finis caputo
Chapter 2: Attack, Counterattack, and Death
Mario, Luigi and Peach were walking towards the castle after leaving a new pizza place that Mario had insisted on going to.
“Congratulations on beating Bowser for the 457th time, Mario!” gushed Peach.
“Hey! I helped too!” said an indignant Luigi.
“Yeah, but I did most of the work, Weege. I deserve some pizza,” said Mario.
“Yeah, but I still want a little cre-”
A mushroomer rushed up to the Princess and whispered, “The King is acting bonkers again.”
Princess Peach sighed as she ran off towards the castle. “Poor Toad and Wooster.”
“Hey!” yelled Mario.
“What, Mario?” asked Luigi.
“THEY DIDN’T GIVE US OUR CHANGE!!!” yelled Mario.
“What?” exclaimed Luigi.
“THEY-”
“I heard you the first time!” Mario quailed under Luigi’s sudden fierce look.
“Yeah, but, you said ‘what’, so-o I thought-”
“Look, just ‘cause I said ‘what’ doesn’t mean I’m stu-”
Luigi was stopped from taking out his anger on his brother when a bunch of screams came from their right. “*sigh* He usally waits at least three days before attacking again!” said Mario as the Brothers ran towards the disturbance. They saw a red Yoshi spitting out fireballs everywhere. As the new pizza place burst into flames, Mario could take no more.
“MY CHANGE AND THE BEST PIZZAS IN TOWN!!! DIE, YOSHI!!!” yelled Mario as he launched himself towards the red Yoshi. Luigi ran away.
The red Yoshi dodged Mario’s attack and sent a fireball at his buttocks. The fireball hit. “Yeeeeoooooow!!!” yelled Mario as he ran to the nearest puddle.
Luigi was arguing with a fruit vender (who looked and talked like a Japanese guy) on the cost of ten pounds of chili peppers. “Ten gold coins. Final offer.”
“No. I sell for four blue coins only!”
“Two blue coins.”
“Four!”
Mario, after cooling his butt off, went and said, “Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Mario,” and extended his hand to the red Yoshi. The Yoshi bit it.
Mario yelped and said (trying his best not to yell), “Look, I’m trying to be civilized here, so please cooperate.” To Mario’s deep surprise the Yoshi started to talk, in a cruel, amused voice.
“Civilized? Civilized? What know you of civilized? Your land is weak, your people stupid, you have no weapon or trap to capture me, and there is no police force, aside from the seven Mushroomers I roasted at the town gates!”
Meanwhile…
“Look, all I have is two blue coins, ten gold ones, a piece of gum and a wrench. Now please give me the chili peppers!”
“Four blue coins and piece of gum or no offer!”
Luigi got tired and just kicked the Mushroomer away and grabbed ten pounds of chili pepper.
Back to the Yoshi and Mario…
“There is nothing here that is civilized, especially your fat tummy!”
Now, not many get away with calling Mario fat in a mean way after attacking him. This was one of the people that got away.
Mario sent a punch for the Yoshi’s head, but it jumped out off the way and slapped him in the head with its tail. It opened its mouth to fry Mario, when three chili peppers found its way into the red Yoshi’s mouth.
“Yearrgh!!!” OH THE AGONY!!! It had known that a plant somewhere would have adapted itself to be painful to Yoshis, but the SHEER AGONY!!! It turned black and reared to its full height, it noticed the pain subsiding as it turned blacker.
Refreshed and impervious to all damage, Death turned its head towards its attacker.
“Doom…”
“Wha?” said a stupified Luigi. He saw the Black Thing open its mouth. A black tongue stretched out and grabbed both him and Mario. He didn’t even have time to scream.
Death licked its lips and turned towards the castle. He jumped above it and slammed down in the most destructive Yoshi Bomb ever. Then he spat out what was left of the Mario Bros. And left.
Only four people survived that Yoshi Bomb. Deep underground, in a bomb shelter, was the princess, who had been trying to talk The King out of using Toad as a chair and Wooster as a footrest and using the Chancellor to hold up the last picture of the queen (the picture was destroyed). The king looked at the princess and said, quite sanely and fearfully, “What was that?”
Finis Caputo
Chapter 3: Remembrance of Life
The King heard voices… light, sad voices
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
The King saw a land that was full of light, happiness, and joy, pure joy.
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
The King saw two white figures working. Slowly, a black darkness covered one of them.
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
The King saw the last white figure and the black figure make a figure, a small figure, that was not black, white, gray, or any other color. The new figure was nothingness.
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
The King saw a large gathering of white figures, surrounding the void and the first two figures.
A new voice came, one that was sad, light, but meaningful.
“They, black and white, made something that can not be filled…”
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
“A void can not be filled…”
The King saw the void move. The white figures applauded, and the black figure took a bow.
“A void can only be filled by a void…”
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
“You just… need to find… the right… void…”
The King felt the void send off feelings of rage, pain, hatred, anger, and… sorrow…
“Love… Hate… are very often… the same thing…”
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
“Love… Hate… are confused by many…”
The king saw the void move faster, and one by one, and quickly, figures disappeared. Then, the last white figure shown with a light that was purer than white. The void only moved faster. The void suddenly was incased in the light, but the figure disappeared.
“That was my mistake… trying to fill a void with substance…”
“Coooommmee… Hoommmeee…”
“…to confuse love with hate…”
The King saw a land that was full of sorrow, pain, regret, hatred, mistrust, but somewhere, a void gave off joy…
“Leeeavvveee Hoommmeee…”
“Take what was mine… what is now yours… and do not confuse love… and haaatte...”
“Leeeavvveee Hoommmeee…”
“Leave what was once home… and make a home…”
A voice, that was not a voice, but a Voice, of everyone that the void had taking that long time ago…
“LEAVE THE LOST FOR THE LOST… MAKE A
NEW BEGINNING FOR THOSE WHO NEVER HAD A HOPE…
GIVE A HOME TO THOSE WHO NEVER
HAD ONE…”
There was a single voice now, a voice that The King knew and loved well, the voice of the queen.
“Make me proud…”
Finis Caputo
Chapter 4: Bowser’s Success
Bowser was thrilled! The news that the Mushroom Kingdom was his and that the plumbers were dead had greatly increased his popularity. It might also have been the fact that everyone thought he had an unstoppable monster at his beck and call, but hey! Lemmy rolled into Bowser’s bedroom, where Bowser was getting ready to give a speech to his new empire.
“King Koopa?” asked Lemmy.
“Yeah?” said Bowser, crossing out "killed", and writing "destroyed, completely DESTROYED!!!" instead.
“I was wondering when the monster thingy was gonna get his powers back,” said Lemmy, ready to roll away should Bowser get mad.
Bowser lost a lot of his morale right then. Playful had been asleep ever since and Wendy had had no success waking him. He had put Ludwig on the job making the worst symphony possible, but it was taking time.
“Uh… Tell him that it will take about two more hours,” said Bowser, knowing why Lemmy had asked. Iggy and Larry had been told to do the same thing.
“K…” said Lemmy, rolling away. He went to the throne room, where behind the throne Death was scratching something onto the throne’s back.
“He said two more hours, sir,” said Lemmy, rolling by.
“Hm? Okay,” said Death, busy over the throne’s back.
Kamek appeared right about then, and said, “I was wondering if we could chat, magic user to magic user.”
Death stopped doing whatever he was doing and slowly turned his head to stare at Kamek. “Magic user? Magic user? What do you use that is magic? That simple ability to appear where you’re not wanted? To me, that is an inborn ability. My magic is something you cannot even begin to use. But why not? What do you want to know?”
Kamek was very annoyed, but asked nonetheless, “Why don’t you hiss any more?”
“I got used to your language. Anything else?” replied Death.
“What are you?” said Kamek wonderingly.
“Draconigena, Tristis, Exanimis, and Inanis,” said Death. Kamek nodded at this and continued.
“What are you doing?”
Death started and said, “Nothing,” while scratching everything on the throne’s back out. “Why?”
Looking at what remained of Death’s scratchings, he replied, “It looks like you were making your own language. Why so secretive?”
“Why so nosy?” Death shot back.
A strange loud noise came from above.
“What?” muttered Kamek, disappearing. Death got up and walked to the front yard, where Bowser’s new allies were gathered.
* * *
Kamek looked at what was the newest attempt to wake Playful. Ludwig’s new symphony was playing out of a tape recorder, and it wasn’t half bad. In fact, it sounded a lot like something Beethoven had made. Playful got up at this and stretched, yawning with his cat mouth. “Meeoaoaow,” or “What a good nap!”
“I’ll tell Bowser!” said Morton, running to his father’s room.
* * *
Death was approached by a blue Yoshi wearing a turban. Death looked at the idiot and said, “What?”
The blue Yoshi started at this and looked sheepish. She slowly opened her mouth.
“I-I wa-as wo-wondering why you listen to-o um… Bowser…”
Death smiled at this and started to laugh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHhahahahahahahaha-ha-a-aa-ha-ahh,” laughed Death. “Listen to him? Him? No, I don’t listen to him. He just has something I want.”
“What?” asked the scared Yoshi along with all the others.
Death smiled even more broadly at this and said, “We are nosy today, aren’t we? But I sense something coming. I suppose I should give Bowser the note,” mumbled Death to himself.
* * *
Playful yawned at this and turned on his translator. “Sure, but… why?”
Bowser started to get angry, but quickly got more polite as Death walked in and both Death and Playful stared at him. Death walked up and blew in Playful’s face.
“Bowser,” said Death, “follow these instructions,” handing Bowser a piece of paper. “To the LETTER,” he said sternly, turning and walking away.
Bowser read them and nodded. “I forgot about that too... Morton! Get everything ready according to these instructions,” said Bowser, giving the note to Morton.
“Yes sir, Dad, Father, Papa, man-sir!” said Morton as he walked away.
Bowser smiled and shook his head. “DAD I love those kids,” thought Bowser.
* * *
Kamek looked at his magic ball. “Ahh,” said he. “Right on time…”
* * *
Silence fell as Bowser walked onto the front lawn and onto a stage that had been setup special. He went to the podium and started to speak.
“You are all here to listen to me, to pledge to me, to work for me, and to eat those little wieners on a stick.” Smiling as every one laughed, Bowser continued. “We are here to celebrate a momentous event. THE DESTRUCTION OF THE MARIO BROTHERS!!!” Everyone cheered. “In a few moments, my son Morton will transport everyone sitting here to a never before seen location, where we will witness the death of the last threat to My Empire!” Everyone cheered again, but everyone was also confused. Weren’t the Mario Bros. the only threat to Bowser? “I bet everyone here is a little confused. Not to worry! You see, my little, or should I say large friend forgot one thing when he killed the Marios.” Bowser paused for suspense. Everyone leaned in. Bowser said softly, “Magic.” Everyone looked confused. “You see, he forgot that magic could make the Marios come back!”
Everyone said “Ooh” but Death turned his head around sharply and said, “WHAT?!”
Finis Caputo
Chapter 5: Mario Bros. Requite
“That’s-a right-a!” yelled Mario as he jumped in and bounced off of Death’s head.
“Feel our wrath!” yelled Luigi as he jumped onto Roy’s head and knocked him out.
“And remember to brush your teeth five times a day!” yelled The King as he ran into the Yoshi in a turban.
“What?!” she said.
The King laughed. “Something you people expect me to say!” he yelled as he knocked her out with a hammer.
“Now, Morton!” yelled Bowser.
Morton yelled, “Yes! Affirmative! All right! Sure! No problem! Okay!” while waving his wand around in a strange and complicated manner.
Kamek quickly rushed out of his lair in the basement and into the crowd as Luigi rushed out of it and punched Death in the foot.
The crowd vanished, taking The King
with it, while Death opened his mouth and
tried to bite Mario in two. “What the?!”
yelled Luigi. “He said he could beat this
thing! WE CAN’T!”
Death swipped Luigi away with his tail and waved his hands. The ground beneath the Marios began to shake. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” laughed Death as he waved his right hand. A fireball appeared there. He flung it at them. Mario dodged. Luigi tried to, but the ground made him trip, and his butt got the full blast.
“YEOW!!!” yelled Luigi as he tried to get up. The ground wouldn’t let him, and his legs caught fire as well.
“STOP DROP AND ROLL, WEEGE!!!” yelled Mario as he dodged another fireball. Luigi quickly complied. Mario took out a chili pepper and flung it at Death’s wide, laughing mouth.
“Tasty!” said Death, laughing all the while. “Give me more!”
“WEEGE!!!” yelled a frightened Mario. “THEY'RE NOT WORKING!!!”
Luigi got up, completely dowsed, and jumped onto Death’s nose. As Death opened his eyes in shock, Luigi stepped on them. “PPPAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!” yelled Death as he fell to the floor. The ground continued to shake, and Mario slipped.
Luigi got off of Death’s forehead, where
he had landed, and said, “Thanks for the
roll thing. Saved my life.”
Mario gaped.
“Mario?” said an uncertain Luigi.
Mario gaped. And suddenly yelled, “Look out, Weege!” pointing to Death’s clawed hand as it came slamming down. Luigi ran to one side quickly, and Death missed. Or so they thought. The land stopped shaking, and Death got up.
“Say ‘Byebye Castle’!” he yelled. The earth opened where Bowser’s castle was and the castle went crashing down. The crack continued towards the Mario Bros. Fire started to come out of the crack. “Doom doom doom,” said Death in a sing-song way.
The Marios jumped to the right of the crack. The crack continued on its way, stopped, and started to make a square around Death and the Mario Bros. Death smiled and put on an announcer voice. “Welcome, ladies and me, to the first ‘wrestle with the devil deathmatch’! In this corner, weighing two and a half tons, 32’ 9”, your worst nightmare… DEATH!!!” Death did crowd voices, saying "Death! Death! Death!" He continued his announcer voice. “In this corner, we have the two sissies, 600 pounds together, and with the tallest one at 6’ 7”… The Mario Bros!” He did the crowd voices booing the Mario Bros.
“Hey! We’re not that bad!” said Luigi.
“Yeah!” agreed Mario.
“True,” consented Death, “but I don’t think it matters anymore. A 50-foot high wall of fire? No magic to assist you? Against a beast that the world's best mages could only contain for a few measly centuries?! Nothing matters. Nothing can save you. Nothing can think, dream of saving you! Welcome to your doom.”
Mario and Luigi both grabbed the Superstars in their pockets. “We can’t be beaten now-a!” said Mario.
“Pish,” sneered Death. “Child's play. Don’t you think that’s what the mages did first?” He waved his hands, and a white bolt of energy left the Marios and went to Death. “Like I said. You. Are. MINE.”
He lunged at them. They covered their faces. They knew that there would be no escape. Then they disappeared in a flash of white as Death’s teeth bit into the place where they once were.
Finis Caputo
Chapter 6: The Shortest Chapter Ever
Hi.
Finis Caputo
Chapter 7: Friends in High Places
“This doesn’t feel like a monster’s tummy, Mario,” said Luigi.
“It-a doesn’t look-a like a tummy, Weege,” said Mario, opening his eyes. Luigi did the same.
“You’re right!” exclaimed Luigi. “This looks like a temple or something. I mean, it’s just a huge open space with no end in sight. There are large pillars arranged in rows and columns every where. The roof is really high up. It’s really dark. This place reminds me of those Roman temples from back home on Earth. Why was I allowed to say such a long thing without you inter- Mario what’s wrong?” asked Luigi in a worried voice. Mario was just standing there staring at one spot.
“Weege...” said Mario hoarsely. “Kamek’s right-a there…”
Luigi looked. “Oh…”
Kamek said, “Finally!” He soared on his broom over to the Marios. “Guys, listen up! It won’t take long before Death figures out where you are.” The Mario Bros. gulped. “I want to tell you something. I was researching about this "creature", and I found out something Bad. With a capital B. Big B. Huge B. ‘K?” The Marios nodded. “That beast is indestructible except by one that has a white staff of ash.”
“Like-a the one-a The King-a had?” asked Mario.
“Right,” said Kamek. “Now listen. We’re in the temple that Death was made in.”
“So he’s got a home advantage,” said Luigi.
Nodding quickly, Kamek continued. “Right. Now, this is the under level, meaning that we’re underground. This is a huge complex. About half a mile over there,” he said, pointing, “is where everyone is. On the main floor. And let me tell you guys this, it’s a setup! On the main floor is a stadium. Bowser has a guy selling peanuts. Death plans to kill you and The King in front of everyone. Ludwig is gonna play a solo, and Morton and Roy are gonna be announcers! Bowser is eating cocktail shrimp! This is gonna be major! You too have seen the Roman coliseum?” Luigi nodded, Mario frowned, and then nodded. “It’s like that.”
“Exactly like that,” said Death, looming over Kamek. “Go to Bowser, Kamek. Or I’ll destroy you. Oh, and just for the record, Bowser considers me a lot more valuable than you. I don’t really think he’d complain much if you were in my tummy.”
Kamek turned white, and disappeared.
* * *
“Where were you, Kamek?” asked Bowser. Larry snickered.
“Uhh… I was checking on how your new empire looks,” lied Kamek, looking at Larry in a strange way. Kamek sat down next to Kammy, who was stuffing her face with peanuts.
Larry walked up to Kamek. “Why’d you do that?” asked Larry.
Kamek looked around to see if anyone was listening. “I think that Bowser’s messing with something that he can’t control. I don’t think anyone can control that thing.”
“Why not?” asked Larry.
“That thing is Death, literally. Who can control Death?” replied Kamek.
“They sure can’t,” said Larry, looking at his wand. On it was a picture of what Death and the Mario Brothers were doing. Kamek made room for Larry next to him.
Larry smiled, and sat down.
Finis Caputo
Chapter 8: Temple Raid
Mario and Luigi gulped. “How long of a head start do we have?” asked Luigi.
“Uuummm…” said Death, really thinking. “How about, two seconds? Oh! Time's up!”
Luigi and Mario ran for their lives. Death yawned and suddenly appeared in front of them. The Brothers turned around. Death was still there! Death was everywhere! “I’m in every place at once! Moving faster than light has its merits!”
“Oh Weege,” moaned Mario, “what we gonna do-a?”
Luigi sat and thought. Death laughed. “Don’t sit still too long, guys! I might decide to trample you!” Luigi and Mario started running like crazy.
“I got it!” yelled Luigi. “We run in opposite directions! Death will only catch one of us!” Mario looked doubtful, but complied. Both ran out of the ring of Death. None were captured. “I knew he was just bluffing!” yelled Luigi.
Death chuckled. “Very cute. You look so happy! And yet,” Death suddenly appeared next to Mario, holding Princess Peach in his hands, “and yet, you’re all gonna die.” He dropped Peach on Mario. “I hope you’ll like it in my tummy. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” laughed Death.
Peach and Mario ran over to Luigi. They gathered their energy. Death stopped laughing. Mario got a Fire Flower from his pocket and sent the largest, strongest, hottest fireball he could towards Death. Peach threw a bunch of bombs at him. Luigi drew a Freeze Gun (he'd stolen the designs from Lemmy during the last attack) and fired. All of the attacks hit. Death started laughing and fell to the floor in tears. The heroes (or villains, whatever way you view it) stared. Death got up, still chuckling, and said, “Run.” They ran. They ran like chickens (a chicken that knows that Publix wants it). Death ran after. He ran like Publix (a Publix that wants a chicken that knows that Publix wants it).
Larry and Kamek sat. They sat like they were watching TV. They were watching TV (of sorts).
Luigi turned and dodged behind a pillar. Mario pushed the princess out of the way. The princess fell to the floor and disappeared in a flash of white. Death smashed into the pillar Luigi was hiding behind and got a mouthful of Freeze Gun ray as a reward. Death looked confused and awkward, but he broke the large amount of ice in his mouth and spat it out like bullets at Luigi, who was dodging behind another pillar. Death shot the rest of the ice at Mario, who was almost at the place Kamek had pointed at. Mario was almost killed, and although he wasn’t he had his hat ripped off, a leg almost torn off, and his right lung torn through (you Mario haters can cheer now). Mario gasped in pain and for air as he disappeared in a white flash. Death shrugged and threw a fireball at the pillar Luigi was behind, and the pillar shattered. Luigi ran at Death, and as Death's tongue lashed out at super sonic speeds, Luigi disappeared with a flash of white.
Death sat down and thought for about ten minutes. Then Death disappeared without a flash.
* * *
Bowser was jubilant. Kamek had produced Peach from nowhere. Mario had followed, torn and bleeding. He was almost dead, and Bowser was happy about that. Not long after, Luigi had appeared. Lemmy froze him up to his head so that he could see and hear everything. Mario was being looked after by the best medics around (most were Yoshis and Boos) and Peach was being restricted by Clawdia’s favorite guard (while Clawdia had not complained, she had ordered the guard to be extra ruff). Wendy stuffed her dirty underwear (always on hand now, for Morton) into Luigi’s mouth.
Bowser knew it would't be long, now, and nodded to Ludwig, who was sitting next to them, Karma on his lap (she had been in the dungeon for back talking Bowser, and although her ter of six weeks was not up, Ludwig knew Bowser was too happy to care). Karma got off his lap and followed him to a specially designed piano. “Knock ‘em out,” said Karma, and Ludwig nodded.
Death appeared in the stadium. Roy and Morton stepped up to a microphone. Morton started.
“Hi, ciao, hello and welcome, salutations, and I Morton, King of Desert Land, second youngest son of Bowser, Master of the Donut Plains, and Lord of Hot Things, am here with-”
“Roy, Lord of the Battle Ring, Master of the Sky, and Ruler of the Forest of Illusions, to be your announcers today-”
“At the first and probably last-”
“Battle of Life, versus Death,” finished Roy, in a grim way.
Finis Caputo