Chapter Eight: YAY! Evil Demons Are Running Around Possessing People!
The teleporter drops Bowser and Koops in an abandoned building in Rogueport Sewers. They extricate themselves from the building and run into Frankly, who is just outside the building.
Frankly: Yo! Slick! Grodus just went through the Thousand Second Door! You gotta go there and open it up with the Stars!
Bowser: TO THE DOOR!
Bowser drags Koops away. Frankly stands in the same spot laughing maniacally to himself.
Koops: Uh… didn’t you notice anything ODD about Frankly?
Bowser: Hmm… yes! He has no hands!
Koops: Well… besides that.
Bowser: No… why?
Koops: He didn’t ask us about maps!
Bowser: Hmm… yes he did!
Koops: No… plus he called us Slick!
Bowser: You’re right! Frankly IS a Goomba!
Koops: You’re not even listening to me, are you?
Bowser: Worship me!
Koops: Ugh.
Bowser and Koops soon reach the Thousand Second Door. Bowser stands on the pedestal and all seven of the Crystal Stars come out and do some kind of wierd magic lightshow. When it’s over the Door opens and inside is some weird purple-black portal thing.
Bowser: I say! All my minions have been REALLY lazy as of late.
Koops: What? Are you completely insane?!
Bowser: Yes! MINIONS COME OUT!
Goombella, Flurrie, King, Vivian and Bobbery all appear.
Flurrie: What exactly are we doing out?
Bowser: I figured since we’re probably on the last part of our adventure I’d get you all to help me!
King: But… isn’t it impossible to have all of us out at the same time?
Goombella: Obviously not, although it still shouldn’t be done.
Bowser: Oh, I see! You’ll do it for Doopliss but not for me!
Vivian: I stuck with you!
Koops: Oh shut up!
Bowser: SILENCE! We’re going in that creepy portal thing… and you're all going to help!
Bobbery: Okay.
Koops: I was anyways…
Flurrie: I still can’t believe I’m not getting paid for this.
Goombella: Stupid Frankly. It’s his fault I’m here.
King: I hate you all.
Vivian: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!
King: I don’t.
Vivian: Oh… well… that’s good… I guess…
King: (whispering) I hate you because you’re an idiot.
Bowser: GOOD! I’m glad you all willingly decided to stick with me! Now let’s go!
The seven of them all jump through the portal.
Meanwhile, with our other adventurers…
Luigi and Co. get off their boat at Rogueport Harbor. And waiting to greet them is…
Mario: It’s-a me-a, Mario!
Luigi: AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Not you!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Jerry: Uh… Luigi… who is this guy?
Luigi: My insane brother.
Blooey: Let’s play!
Blooey floats over to Mario. Mario smacks him with his hammer into Luigi.
Luigi: OW!
Blooey: Ouch! Hey, that’s cheating!
Mario: Babies!
Screamy: Hmm… he appears to be saying that Bowser has entered the incredibly evil place known as the Palace of Shadow and that unless we stop him he will capture Peach and Grodus will end the world. Or something like that. I’m not to sure about the last bit.
Mario: Okeydokey!
Everyone stares at Mario and Screamy.
Luigi: What… how?
Screamy: I CAN UNDERSTAND ALL LANGUAGES!
Luigi: Even the language of the criminally insane?
Screamy: Most likely.
Luigi: Right… well I don’t particularly care about Bowser getting Peach but I DO feel some strange desire to prevent the end of the world. *sigh* Lead the way, Mario.
Mario takes them to the Thousand Second Door.
Luigi: What exactly is the end of the world like?
Jerry: What do you mean?
Luigi: Well… if the world ends what happens?
Hayzee: I’m not to sure… but I should make a play about that!
Luigi: I mean, all these evil super villains are always trying to end the world… but if it like exploded they’d die too… so that can’t be it…
Jerry: Tell you what… we can just sit here and wait for the world to end and then we’d find out!
Mario smacks Jerry.
Jerry: Ow! Fine… we won’t do that!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Soon they reach the door. It’s still open so they jump in the creepy portal…
Back to Bowser…
Bowser and his minions come out of the portal in a large room. Bowser sees a sign labeling this place as the “Shadow Palace”.
Bowser: Strange… I don’t see mounds of treasure…
Bobbery: That’s because this is obviously some kind of evil place!
Bowser: So… what are you saying?
Vivian: He’s saying that there is no treasure here because this place is a estructive den of terror!
Bowser: So he’s saying that I should build a castle here or something?
Goombella: *sigh* Yes… that’s EXACTLY what Bobbery said. (whispering) You are a complete idiot.
Bowser: Well… just to spite you… I WON’T! Gwa ha ha!
Bobbery: Whatever.
Bowser: Yes… well let’s get moving.
They continue through the Palace, running into some Swoopulas which completely ignore them and Dry Bones which keep trying to throw their own bones at Bowser but as soon as they remove one fall apart. In a large, two-story room several B. Bill Blasters are shooting Bombshell Bills. Bowser and Co. have no problem avoiding them as the Blasters are for some bizarre reason facing a wall and shooting straight into it.
King: Okay… someone needs to spend some time training their minions…
Bowser: What are you implying?!
King: I didn’t mean you! I meant whoever got these creatures…
Bowser: Hmph… well as long as you realize that I am your KING, King!
King: What?! What does that have to do with anything?!
Bowser: Everything! JUST SAY IT!
Koops: You’re insane!
Bowser: Thank you! Let’s keep going!
King: Okay…
They continue through the palace, running into spiked floors and fire traps. They avoided the Phantom Embers, who don’t do much besides go BOO! Then they run away laughing like idiots. Soon they come to a large chamber with a small lake and a building in the center of that lake. Two Chain Chomps are chained on the sides of bridges.
Bowser: Hmm… Chain Chomps… interesting minions… practically indestructible… but they attack nything… best strategy is to take a few and drop them in enemy territory!
Goombella: What are you talking about?!
Bowser: Let’s go!
They walk past the Chain Chomps, staying just out of their reach and enter the door at the far right of the room. It leads to a creepy hallway that’s rather large and long. They walk through it and go through the door at the end. It leads to another hallway that is exactly the same.
Bowser: Eerie… are we like in some kind of loop?
King: I don’t think so… I’m guessing whoever made this place was kind of lacking in imagination when he made this area…
Bobbery: I wonder who it was…
As they continue through several of these rooms they encounter a strange floating creature known as a Dark Wizzerd (DW).
DW: OOGLY!
Bowser: Oogly?
DW: I am EVIL! RAR!
Bowser: Right… go evil that wall over
there…
owser points at the right wall. DW
runs over to it and attacks by copying itself and throwing magic attacks
at it.
DW: HA HA HA! You’ll never guess which one I am!
Flurrie: Okay…
They continue their journey until they come to a massive chamber. Inside a humongous purple dragon very similar to Hooktail comes into view.
Gloomtail: I am Gloomtail! I am the brother to Hooktail!
Bowser: That’s great…
Gloomtail: And who are YOU?!
Bowser: Me? I am Bowser, King of the KOOPAS!
Gloomtail: Ah… I’ve never heard of you…
Bowser: Oh shut up.
Gloomtail: Wait… do you know my sister?
Goombella: Yes…
Gloomtail: THEN YOU MUST BE THE ONES WHO KILLED HER!!!
Koops: She’s dead?
Gloomtail: Well… no. She’s fine. I’m hungry and, well, I just wanted an excuse to eat you.
King: Oh yeah? Well you’ll have to fight us first!
Gloomtail: Okay.
He shoots a blast of poison at Bobbery and Vivian. They get hit.
Bobbery: Ouch I say!
Vivian: Ow!
Gloomtail: HA HA HA!
Bowser: Flame Breath!
He shoots fire at Gloomtail. It scorches his side.
Gloomtail: Er… DIE!
He stomps at Bowser. Bowser grabs Koops and uses him as a shield.
Koops: OW!
Bowser: Gwa ha ha!
Gloomtail: Grr… you’re tough… I’ll give you that… but you could never survive my charged attack!
He starts glowing. Bowser and Co. huddle in terror for a bit and then realize nothing's happening. They walk over to his side.
Bowser: Is he dead?
Bobbery: I don’t think so… I think he’s just charging.
Bowser: Let’s hit him!
They all start beating him up. After five minutes Gloomtail responds.
Gloomtail: MEGABREATH!
He shoots out a massive wave of poison… that completely misses and dissipates on a wall. He then feels the pain of all the attacks.
Gloomtail: ACK! I’ve been defeated!
He flips over and curls up.
Bowser: Hmph! All that fighting for nothing!
Goombella: Let’s just go back.
Bowser: All right…
They go back to the area with the lake and the Chomps. However as soon as they get there they are greeted by a familiar character… Doo- I mean Professor Frankly!
Frankly: Hey Slick!
Bowser: Uh, hi…
Frankly: You cannot continue!
King: Why?
Frankly: Because I AM YOUR FATHER!
Bowser: No you’re not.
Frankly: Dang! How’d you guess?
Bowser: Do I really have to answer that?
Frankly: All right, fine… I AM DOOPLISS! OOGEDLY BOOGLEY!
He’s surrounded by purple smoke and when it dissipates it reveals Doopliss!
Bowser: YOU!
Doopliss: Yes, me Slick! But I’m not alone!
Beldam and Marilyn appear.
Marilyn: GUH HUH!
Beldam: Ha ha! We will stop you!
Bowser: Why?
Beldam: Uh… because you’re… uh…
Doopliss: Well, Slick, it’s easy! We’ll stop you because… um… the thing is… uh…
Marilyn: LUH YUH!
Beldam: Yeah! What she said!
Vivian: You know… I’m her sister and I have no clue what she said…
Beldam: So?
Vivian: So I think she’s an unintelligible idiot!
Marilyn: UH HUH!
Beldam: ACK! GET THEM!
Beldam brings forth an icy wind. It blows on King and Flurrie.
King: Wow… that’s kind of cold…
Flurrie: You think you can control wind?
Beldam: Well… yes.
Flurrie: FEEL MY WINDY WRATH!
Flurrie starts blowing wind at Beldam. Beldam responds by increasing her windiness.
King: I’ll help!
King tackles Beldam. King, Flurrie, and Beldam get in a very violent fight. With violence. Doopliss decides to attack.
Doopliss: Okay… ULTIMATE ATTACK! HEADBUTT!
Doopliss goes in the air and then slowly comes down at Bobbery. He sidesteps and Doopliss hits the ground.
Doopliss: Wow… you guys are good! But can you deal with this?!
He covers himself in purple smoke. When it dissipates he reveals that he has taken the form of Koops.
Doopliss: HA HA HA! Slicks… can you get me now?
Vivian: Well… actually yes, we can.
Koops: Wow… you look just like me…
Doopliss: HA! I have no clue how to use this body!
Goombella: GET HIM!
Goombella, Koops, Vivian, and Bobbery all tackle him to ground and start pummeling him. Bowser and Marilyn look each other over.
Bowser: I guess this is where you and me get in a big fight… with lightning in the background and stuff…
Marilyn: RUH JUH!
Bowser: What’d she say?
Beldam looks up from trying to shrink Flurrie and King.
Beldam: She asked “Why does the lightning have to be in the background?”
Bowser: What?
Marilyn raises her hands and a bolt of lightning comes down and hits Bowser.
Bowser: ACK!
Marilyn: LUH KUH!
Bowser: That does it! CLIMATIC FIGHT… BEGIN!
He charges at Marilyn and starts biting her. She pulls his hair. He slaps her, and she scratches him. Bobbery looks up at them.
Bobbery: Wow… that is like the wussiest fight I have ever seen.
Doopliss staggers out of their grasp and turns back to himself. Beldam crawls away from Flurrie and King. They stand by each other.
Beldam: Well… you put up a good fight… but it doesn’t matter! Freak-sheet and the Shadow Sirens shall escape!
Doopliss: My name isn’t Freak-sheet.
Beldam: Why not?
Doopliss: You know my name!
Beldam: What? You’re freaky and you wear a sheet! Freak-sheet!
Doopliss: It’s not a sheet!
Beldam: Than what is it?
Doopliss: It’s a… well… oh fine. But my name is STILL not Freak-sheet! Call me by my real name!
Vivian: Hey… aren’t you that guy who was like invincible because you pretended no one knew you’re name?
Doopliss: I wasn’t pretending!
King: Yes you were! We kept calling you Doopliss and you said we were wrong!
Doopliss: Yeah right! Why are you asking?
Vivian: Well… now you’re mad because someone isn’t calling you by your name.
Doopliss: Well… uh… SHUT UP!
Beldam: Silence! Now let’s go… Wait… something’s wrong…
Bowser and Marilyn are still fighting.
Beldam: ACK! Marilyn! Let’s go!
Marilyn: FUH YUH!
She slips away from Bowser. Beldam and Marilyn disappear.
Doopliss: AWW! I told them to stop doing that! RUN AWAY!
He runs away.
Bowser: Hmm… what to do now?
A loud rumbling is heard coming from the creepy hallway that they went through to get to Gloomtail.
Goombella: What was that?!
They go through the door and discover that the floor has dropped away into a stairway leading to a new section of the Palace.
Bowser: Well that was strangely convenient.
They go through the stairway and continue their travel through the Palace. They encountered many traps and puzzles… that Bowser smashes through. After a little while they enter a massive room. It is a large throne room and at the end of the room is Grodus!
Grodus: So… you have finally reached me!
Bowser: Well it wouldn’t have taken so long if you didn’t keep moving!
Grodus: Wha?! Well… I have cleverly manipulated you to get all the Crystal Stars! HA!
Koops: But why do you want them?
Grodus: To get through the Thousand Second Door of course!
Goombella: But you got through it WITHOUT the Stars.
Grodus: Yes…
Bobbery: So what purpose exactly did the Stars serve?
Grodus: Well… they… uh… LET’S FIGHT!
He summons four X-shaped creatures called Grodus-X’s. They surround him.
Grodus: HA! These creatures create an impenetrable shield around me! You can’t hurt me!
Goombella: Uh… if that’s true… then how can you attack us?
Grodus: What?! It’s easy! Watch!
He waves his staff around and then shoots off a blue fire attack. It slides on the ground until it hits his shield and then it bounces back and hits him.
Grodus: OW! Well… we never actually fully tested this out… lack of funds… Give me money!
Bowser: No.
Grodus: Dang… Well then since they’re useless… goodbye Grodus-X’s!
He waves his staff around and they explode.
Grodus: Now prepare to feel my awesome POWER!
He starts waving his staff around when the ceiling started to creak. He stops and looks up, as do the others.
Grodus: What?
Suddenly a chunk of the ceiling comes down on Grodus and on it are Mario, Luigi, Blooey, Jerry, Torque, Hayzee, and Screamy!
Mario: Woohoo!
Luigi: I told you not to jump around like a fat idiot!
Mario: OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mario hits Luigi.
Luigi: OW! You jerk!
Bowser: AAAAHHHHH! You guys!
Luigi: Bowser! Where’s Peach?!
Bowser: I don’t know!
Mario: WHEE!
Bowser: ACK! QUICK, ATTACK!
Goombella: Uh… why?
Bowser: These guys are pure evil! They’ll kill us!
Koops: Really?
Mario: OKEYDOKEY!
King: AHHH! HE SAID YES! FIGHT!
Bowser charges and tackles Mario. Goombella goes after Luigi, Koops to Blooey, Bobbery to Jerry, Flurrie to Screamy, King to Torque, and Vivian to Hayzee.
Bowser: Fear me!
Mario: Crikey!
As Mario and Bowser roll on the floor, Mario gets his feet under Bowser and flips him up. Bowser is sent flying, and he crashes into a wall. Luigi is trying to cover his head while Goombella repeatedly hits him.
Luigi: Why OW are you OW doing this OW?
Goombella: Because you are apparently evil!
Luigi: Well stop OW it!
Goombella: No!
Koops continuously tries to Shell Shot Blooey, but Blooey floats above him. Koops can’t hit aerial enemies.
Blooey: Catch me!
Koops: I can’t reach you!
Blooey: WHEE! This is fun!
Koops: Are you crazy?! Get down here!
Blooey: I’m going to win!
He starts floating away. Koops runs after him. Bobbery and Jerry keep exploding by each other.
Bobbery: Take THIS!
He explodes.
Jerry: Ha! That didn’t hurt! Take THIS!
He explodes. They do this for a while.
Bobbery: Uh… this isn’t working…
Jerry: Yeah… want to run around like an idiot?
Bobbery: No.
Jerry: Yeah… me neither.
They sit there staring at each other. Flurrie blows air at Screamy. Screamy counters by screaming.
Screamy: SCREEEEEAAAAAAAM!
Flurrie: Ack! You blocked my wind!
Screamy: You can’t beat me!
Flurrie: I will never lose to a… uh… what exactly are you?
Screamy: I’m a question, question, question mark!
Flurrie: Wha? You’re crazy!
Screamy: Oh yeah?! Than what are you?
Flurrie: That’s obvious! I’m a… uh… windy… ghosty… oh I don’t know!
Screamy HA!
Flurrie: Oh shut up… you don’t know either…
Screamy: Oh yeah…
They sit there in silence trying to figure out what they are. King is trying to beat up Torque, but his hard shell is causing problems.
Torque: SPEED!
King: Ugh! Quit yelling speed, you’re slow! I can’t penetrate your shell!
Torque: YAY! FAST!
King: I know! I’ll eat you! GULP ATTACK!
Torque: ACK!
King shoots out his tongue lightning quick, trying to grab Torque. Torque disappears.
King: Huh? Where did he go?
Torque reappears on top of King.
King: OW!
King struggles to get Torque off. Vivian is using her Shade Fist on Hayzee. Since it is a fire attack and Hayzee is a plant… he isn’t doing too good.
Hayzee: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! HELP!
Vivian: Heh heh… heh…
Hayzee: I am NOT putting this in my play! AAAAHHHH!
He falls to the floor and rolls around. The fire goes out but he lays there unmoving. Bowser and Mario back off from each other.
Bowser: All right guys! REGROUP!
Goombella, Koops and Vivian all come over to him. Luigi and Blooey come over to Mario.
Bowser: HA! We have numerical superiority!
Luigi: Okay… so we give up, right Mario?
Mario: OH NOOOOOOOO!
Bowser: Hmph! Then prepare to die!
They prepare for the big fight… which by the way is a completely pointless fight as they’re fighting for no reason whatsoever when suddenly…
Ms. Mowz: Honey bunny!
Bowser: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Ms. Mowz walks in!
Mario: Crikey!
Luigi: Who’s she?
Bowser: She’s… she’s… OH NO!
Ms. Mowz: I finally found you and… wait, who’s this?
She looks at Mario.
Bowser: Please don’t hurt me- Wait, what?
Mario: It’s-a me-a, Mario!
Ms. Mowz: Really? Well… you certainly are… buff…
Luigi: I think she’s hitting on you Mario!
Mario: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
He runs away with Ms. Mowz chasing after him.
Ms. Mowz: Come back! I love you!
Luigi: Hey!
Luigi and the other five members of his group run out and chase after them.
Bowser: Well… that was a useless waste of time.
Vivian: Why do you say that?
Bowser: Well… because it did not move the plot along at all! It was a just a space filler!
Koops: Right… let’s just save the world and get out of here…
Suddenly a battered Grodus stands up from the debris.
Grodus: HA! I will still win!
He waves his staff and Peach appears in a green bubble.
Bowser: YES! The princess is MINE!
Peach: Bowser! Oh… well… you’re better than nothing… I guess…
Grodus: HA! Now you are mine! If you take one step forward I shall zap you with lightning! HA HA HA!
Bowser: Really?
Grodus: Yes. Really.
Bowser: Well what if I turn around and walk BACKWARDS?!
Grodus: WHA?!
Bowser: Then I’m not taking a step forward!
Bobbery: He’s got you in a loophole!
Grodus: Crud.
Bowser turns around and starts walking in Peach’s general direction, often stumbling due to his inability to see where he is going. After a while Grodus gets bored and grabs Peach and carries her off through a secret passage behind the throne.
Flurrie: Uh… Bowser?
Bowser: WHAT?!
King: Grodus ran off!
Bowser: YES! I scared him away!
Goombella: No… he ran off with Peach!
Bowser: What?! Dang!
Bowser turns around and leads his minions… I mean PARTNERS behind the throne. They go down a long flight of stairs in a cold dungeon-like area. They come to a large door which they amazingly decide to open. Inside is what appears to be a ritualistic chamber, with multiple candles and what appears to be some kind of coffin. Grodus has Peach on the ground in front of it and is cackling maniacally.
Bowser: Uh… what are you doing?
Grodus: I am cackling manaically!
Koops: Yes… we see that… Why?
Grodus: I shall summon the ancient demon called the Shadow Queen and allow her to possess Peach so she shall have unlimited power!
Bowser: Oh no you won’t!
Bowser charges forward and slams into Grodus.
Grodus: OW! What are you doing?!
Bowser: Uh… stopping you?
Grodus: Well you can’t! This is a plot advancing part! You can only stand here in horror while I summon the Shadow Queen!
Bowser: Why?
Grodus: BECAUSE! That’s the rules!
Bowser: Sure…
Grodus: Just do it!
Bowser: Fine.
Bowser goes over and stands by his partners. Grodus waves his staff and the top of the coffin comes off. An evil wind fills the area and the candles turn black as a massive, dark purple shape emerges from the coffin.
Shadow Queen (SQ): Is there a body?!
Grodus: Yes my Queen! The figure before you is yours!
Bowser: I am horrified!
SQ: Good… good…
She bends over Peach and a dark twister surrounds them. Peach screams and when the twister dissipates the Queen is gone and Peach is wearing distinctly black and gray clothes and looking rather evil.
Bowser: ACK! I am TERRIFIED!
SQ: Guh huh huh! This body is good!
Grodus: Excellent! Now DESTROY THOSE PEOPLE!
He gestures to Bowser and Co.
SQ: YOU DARE TO COMMAND ME, MORTAL?!
Grodus: Well… yes… I was told that if I-
SQ: SILENCE! DIE!
She blasts him with lightning, destroying his body and leaving his machine-like head.
Grodus: EEP!
He bounces away. Beldam, Marilyn, and Doopliss appear out of nowhere.
Beldam: Mistress!
SQ: Beldam! Marilyn! And… Freak-Sheet?
Doopliss: Doopliss! It’s Doopliss!
Vivian: WHA?! Sis, you know this creature?!
Beldam: No. I just like calling people Mistress!
Vivian: But how did she know your names?
SQ: They're wearing name tags.
They are. Beldam’s and Marilyn’s have their names on it and Doopliss’ has his. For some reason SQ thought it said “Freak-Sheet”. How strange.
SQ: And who are YOU?
Bowser: Well… I am Bowser, King of the KOOPAS, and these are my minions.
SQ: I see… Well, speaking of minions, I think you should be MY minions!
Bowser: Pshaw!
SQ: Pshaw?
Bowser: Yes! It means forget it!
SQ: THEN I SHALL KILL YOU!
Bowser: Wait.
SQ: Wait?
Bowser: That’s Peach’s BODY, right?
SQ: If that’s the name of the person I possessed then yes…
Bowser: So if I kidnap you… it would be like kidnapping Peach?
SQ: What?
Bowser: Excellent!
He runs over and picks her up.
SQ: OW! Hey! Lightning Strike!
She summons a burst of lightning. However since she is on top of Bowser she gets struck by it.
SQ: ACK!
Bowser: HEY! Don’t you damage the merchandise!
SQ: I will not stop until you let me down!
Bowser: No!
SQ: Grr… I am not accustomed to this body… I shall return to my TRUE FORM!
She surrounds herself with the dark wind, causing Bowser to drop her. When it’s gone there appears a large, dark purple creature with a crown, two large floating hands, and a spirally hollow body, with Peach’s body inside of it.
SQ: GUH HUH HUH!
Bowser: Well… shoot. I guess I have to beat you in order to get Peach?
SQ: Yes.
Bowser: Then… ATTACK!
Bobbery runs over and starts exploding. Goombella headbutts her while Koops Shell Shots. King and Flurrie Body Slam and Vivian uses her Shade Fist. Bowser runs over and slashes her.
SQ: FOOLS! I AM INVINCIBLE!
She swats them all away.
Bowser: Wait… you mean we can’t hurt you?
SQ: Well… yes, that is what is meant when something is invincible.
Bowser: Well that’s cheating!
SQ: What?!
Bowser: You’re a big fat cheater!
SQ: Am not!
Bowser: Are too!
SQ: Stop it!
Bowser: Stop cheating!
SQ: No!
While Bowser and SQ are arguing the seven Crystal Stars come out of Bowser and fly into the Queen, shattering themselves.
SQ: What?! NOOOOOOOO!
Bowser: What happened?
SQ: The Crystal Stars made me UNinvincible!
Goombella: Is that even a word?
SQ: No. But it works.
Bowser: So… continue the fight?
SQ: Yes.
The fight continues. They battle ferociously for several minutes, exchanging blows and poorly thought up insults. Soon however the Shadow Queen falls from the sheer weight of attacks. She explodes and Peach is restored. Beldam and Co. run away like cowards… but it’s better that than ANOTHER long fight. Bowser shakes himself off.
Bowser: YAY! We got Peach!
Vivian: And saved the world!
Bowser: Yeah, yeah, but who cares about that?
Koops: Uh… everyone.
Bowser: Shut up.
He picks up an unconscious Peach and takes her out of the Palace. When they get out they head for the surface. Upon reaching it Bowser takes a deep breath and puts Peach down.
Bowser: It’s good to be out here!
King: 'Cause its fresh air?
Bowser: No… because it shows me all the stuff I can conquer!
Flurrie: Great…
Bowser: And you shall help me! Together my new minions and I shall conquer the world!
Bobbery: What?
Bowser: And you shall be forced into eternal slavery!
Goombella: Uh… oh…
As Bowser thinks about his evil plans… a figure runs up and grabs Peach.
Mario: Woohoo!
Bowser swings around and sees him jumping away with her.
Bowser: NO! Get him!
There is no response. He turns around and sees his “partners” running away.
Bowser: ACK! Get back here!
They keep running until they are out of sight.
Bowser: Crud. Well fine.
He heads to the second floor of the Rogueport Bar and sees Kammy and Toadsworth kissing.
Bowser: OH GOD! MY EYES!
They stop and embarrassedly look at him.
Kammy: Bowser? What are you doing?
Bowser: Come on, Kammy, let’s go. Mario snatched Peach again.
Toadsworth: Really? Then I must leave!
He heads for the door.
Kammy: Wait! Won’t you tell me you love me and won’t ever forget me?
Toadsworth: I would… but that would be lying!
He dashes away.
Kammy: Jerk. Let’s go.
Bowser and Kammy head back to their castle.
And so Bowser’s insane, pointless adventure is done. He accomplished practically nothing (except for saving the world… which is rather unimportant) and now dejectedly heads back home. As for Grodus and the X-Nauts… well he tried to lead them… he really did. But they didn’t seem to want to take orders from a talking head, so they all ditched him and ran away. Unfortunately they all accidentally ran off a cliff. As for Beldam and Marilyn, well… they pretty much did what they always did, hide in shadows and pop up and scare people for money. Goombella went back to Professor Frankly, who was all right in his house but she was quickly screamed out when he found out that she didn’t have the Magical Map. Koops went back home to Petal Meadows to live with his dad. He continuously bugged Koopie Koo for a date and didn’t realize that not only was he a loser but no one wants to date a guy who lives with his parents. Flurrie went back to doing plays and eventually ended up working for Hayzee. They also employed Doopliss, who kept causing problems due to his bodysnatching and yelling at people for calling him by his name. King went back to the Glitz Pit and fought Rawk Hawk and beat him… but was later sued for eating one of the Goomba Bros. and using him as an egg weapon in one of his matches. Vivian eventually went back to her sisters but was driven insane by their incessant insults so she went to Twilight Town to try to become a crow. Bobbery and Jerry hooked up with Cortez and they sailed and pirated lots of times before crashing into a small boat and being sued. Screamy looked up Flurrie and she quit her acting job and they went on a long journey to figure out what they were. Torque and Blooey went from town to town creeping people out for money until eventually they got in another Kart race and ended up crashing and burning. And being sued. Ms. Mowz journeyed always trying to find her “honey bunny” and eventually fell in love with a large box. That she fell off of. Luigi, Mario, and Peach all went back to their normal lives until that strange E. Gadd came by with a time machine…
The End!
| If you would like to send some feedback
to the author of this submission, please complete this form.
What's your name?
What's your Email address?
How do you rate this submission?
Does this submission belong in Little
Lemmy's Land?
Would you like to see more from this author? Comments and suggestions:
|
