Chapter 5: Relocation "Issues", by Lemmyscoo. alexk31@verizon.net
The three Koopalings who are going back to the former stronghold are about to cross the Ice Land-Grass Land border.
Ludwig: Wait! I see about five Paratroopas!
Roy: What do they want?
Paratroopa: The great Kamek requests that you surrender immediately, or else the great Kamek will send his ten-thousand Mega-Enemy army to destroy you and all that you hold dear.
Ludwig: (quietly) Okay, I have a plan. Just follow my lead. (to the Paratroopas) All right, we surrender, but the other four Koopalings are over by that bush.
Paratroopa: Thanks a lot, suckers! Come on, guys, let's go bag us a promotion!
The Paratroopas jump into the bush, and a few seconds later, a red beam flashes from the bush, and a bunch of Dry Bones come out.
Dry Bones: You… tricked… us… We... shall… join… you… Please… help… us… Please… We… beg… of… you… Help…
Ludwig: I don't know…
Dry Bones: Okay… okay… We'll… tell… you… where… a… major… storage… base… is... if… you… will… let… us… help… you…
Ludwig: You'll take us there, not just tell us.
Dry Bones: All… right… fine… Let's… go…
The Dry Bones take Ludwig, Roy, and Larry to the outskirts of Grass Land, where a small base can be seen. It has the mark of MVBTC on it.
Dry Bones: Okay… we're… here… Us… Dry… Bones… will… wait… out… here…
Ludwig: Oh, no. You're going in with us, got it?
Dry Bones: No… we… can't…
Ludwig: Why not?
Dry Bones: Because… Kamek… said… we… can't…
Ludwig: Take us, or you're going into lava, buddy!
Dry Bones: Okay…
They go into the base, where they are immediately surrounded by 20 Dry Bones and one Super Dry Bones.
Roy: Wha-
Dry Bones 1: Silence!
Larry: You tricked us!
Dry Bones: Got that right!
Super Dry Bones: Take them to the cremation room.
Ludwig: You can't do that!
Super Dry Bones: Why not?
Ludwig: Because we're not dead yet.
Roy: OHHHH!!! YOU GOT PWNED!!! OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH-
Dry Bones 2: Nice little tranquilizer dart, don't you think?
Ludwig: No problem. I'll just give him some of my-
Dry Bones 3: That should keep him quiet 'til they get burned.
Larry: No one's tranquilizing me! Not when I have this-
Dry Bones 4: @@%$#!&^&##@&$*&*($#@!!!! I hate them!
Super Dry Bones: You're all getting promotions when we get back! But only Dry Bones 1, 2, 3, and 4.
Ludwig: No… you… can't… uhhh…
Super Dry Bones: Take them away!
Dry Bones 5-9: Yes, sir!!!
Back with the other four Koopalings, they have reached the castle without too much trouble, and find it to be COMPLETELY TRASHED! At least some Koopas are trying to clean it up…
Lemmy: Hey, who are you Koopas, and what are you doing in my chocolate factory?
Iggy: What?
Lemmy: Sorry, but part of it is a chocolate factory.
Iggy: Really?
Lemmy: Yeah, isn't it great?
Morton: YeahIthinkit'sgreatisn'tthatgreat?
Wendy: I thought you stopped doing that…
Morton: So?
Koopa: Excuse me, but do you have an appointment with the master?
Lemmy: Uhhh, I am the master, so GET OUT!!!
Koopa: I'm sorry, but only the master is the master, not you vermin.
Wendy: WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME?!
Koopa: That is IT! I AM CALLING THE MASTER IMMEDIATELY!
The Koopa presses a button on what looks like an intercom.
Koopa: A thousand pardons, Master, but four things have entered without an appointment.
????: WHAT?! I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN!!
A cloaked figure comes smashing through the window.
????: @%$%@#$%#@!!! Koopalings, I thought you might come back some day, so I came prepared. Koopas, Plan 21-Q!
Koopas: Yes, Master!
All of the Koopas leave the room, and come back with a box.
Lemmy: Is that the best you can do? A box? Ludwig could crush that with one of his inventions!
????: We'll just see about that!
The cloaked figure picks up the box and throws off his cloak to reveal…
Lemmy: No…
Iggy: Impossible…
Wendy: Oh, my holy…
Morton: It's… it's…
Koopa: May I present the honorable Prince-
We interrupt this program to bring you a not-so-important news bulletin! Something’s happening at MVBTC’s base! So, we’re going to MVBTC’s base!
MVBTC: So, what are your other spells?
RoS: Well, I can cast those shapey things like Kamek…
MVBTC: Kamek is a fool and incompetent! You, however, are exceptionally well-trained.
RoS: Thank you. I can also cast water, fire, earth, and wind spells.
MVBTC: Very good.
RoS: I’m always studying from my spellbook, so I’ll always have something new for my opponents.
MVBTC: Which spellbook do you use?
RoS: I use a special brand of spellbook. It’s only for red- and black-robed Magikoopas, like me. I wasn’t born a Magikoopa, I was born dead.
MVBTC: Dead?
RoS: Yes, I was born a Dry Bones. The life was horrible. Always getting stomped on, always reforming, only to get stomped on again. When my parents sent me to the Koopa training academy, I signed on as a Magikoopa. I bought all of the Magikoopa magic books there were, and one day, I cast a spell, and became a Magikoopa. I was dressed in a red-black robe, the same one as I’m dressed in today.
MVBTC: Interesting. Tell me, what is your secret desperation attack?
Kamek: Sir, I just got back from base Q! They captured three of the Koopalings, and are going to have them cremated in one hour!
MVBTC: WHAT?! I NEED THE KOOPALINGS ALIVE FOR MY PLAN! THAT WAS A DIRECT ORDER FROM ME!!! I’LL GO THERE IN PERSON TO GET THEM FOR DISOBEYING ME!!! RoS, guard the base, and make sure Kamek doesn’t get into trouble.
Kamek: WHAT?! I’M BETTER THAN THAT OTHER MAGIKOOPA!!!
MVBTC: No, Kamek. You failed to kill Yoshi and Baby Mario. You failed to kill the Mario Brothers. Your failures are so numerous they are impossible to count. Kamek, I’m putting RoS in charge.
Kamek: NO WAY!!! I CHALLENGE RoS TO A XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!!!
MVBTC: We haven’t had one of those for a while. All right, I’m up to watch one. This showdown will be a one-on-one battle between Kamek and RoS. No Shen-Gong-Wu. Whoever is left standing wins.
Kamek and RoS: Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!!! GONG YI TEMPI!!!
A triangular part of the floor is cut off from the rest by lava. The triangle is surrounded by a fire wall and there are multiple rows of spikes on the floor.
Commensing Xiaolin Showdown format! Instead of what the characters are saying, it’ll be what they’re doing! If a 2 is next to the name, it’ll be what they’re saying!
RoS: Casts Spike
Eradicator!
Kamek2: Thanks
for getting rid of the spikes for me!
Kamek: Casts
Ring of Fire!
RoS: Casts Tsunami
Strike!
Kamek: Casts
Thunder Crash!
RoS: Casts Kamek
Transform!
RoS2: Now I look
like you, and know your spells!
Kamek: Casts
Copy!
Kamek2: Now I’m
you and I know all of your spells!
RoS2: Check again,
old Koopa! Your spell turned you into a copy of yourself!
Kamek: Casts
Spell Nullifier on RoS!
RoS2: Nice spell!
Let’s see how-
Kamek: Casts
Fire Typhoon! Target: stage!
The stage is
surrounded by fire!
Kamek: Casts
Final Ensnarement!
RoS is now trapped
in an escape-proof cage!
RoS: Casts Final
Desperation Blast!
Kamek is now
wand-less and paralyzed and RoS is unable to cast spells!
RoS2: We’re even...
Kamek! I can barely sta-
RoS fainted!
The Xiaolin Showdown ends in a tie! Back to regular format!
MVBTC: Amazing, truly amazing. RoS, come here. How you sacrificed all of your energy, just to make it a tie. Truly evil, evil at its best. RoS, I declare you-
Kamek: No you don’t!
Kamek shoots RoS with blast that sends him anywhere else in the Mushroom Kingdom!
MVBTC: KAMEK!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
Kamek: Because I want to be top Magikoopa, you fiend!
MVBTC: Kamek, your evil ways are some of the most UNDERHANDED, @#$!%@%^@$#^#%^#%&*% THAT I’VE EVER SEEN!!! I like it.
The Super Dry Bones appears on the screen next to Kamek.
Super Dry Bones: Kamek, sir! We’re about to cremate Ludwig, Larry, and Roy! We want you to come watch!
MVBTC: Kamek will not be coming to the cremation, but I will.
Super Dry Bones: It will truly be an honor to finally witness such great and powerful evil such as yourself.
Kamek: But, you swore to never leave that curtain until Bowser was destroyed!
MVBTC: I don’t care. Bowser’s destroyed as far as I’m concerned at this point. Kamek, get me my traveling robe! The black one!
Kamek: Yes, Master!
As Kamek is getting the robe, the Super Dry Bones is telling his troops about the unexpected surprise.
Super Dry Bones: Today, we shall be graced beyond comprehension, because our true master is coming to watch the cremation of the vile Koopalings!
All Dry Bones: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!
Back at MVBTC’s base…
Kamek: Here you go, Master!
MVBTC: Thank you, Kamek. I shall go now.
Outside, a thunderstorm begins. Lightning flashes, and one of the rock formations breaks. Dramatic music plays. MVBTC (Mysterious Voice Behind the Cloak) pulls back the curtain, and a tall, cloaked figure emerges. The robe is dark black, with MVBTC’s mark on it. Whenever MVBTC takes a step, a rock formation breaks and chaos begins in any one area. It is horrible. Fortunately, the other four Koopalings are very far away, and don’t notice. MVBTC transports himself to the base. All of the Dry Bones and the Super Dry Bones bow down to him.
MVBTC: Get up, Dry Bones! Super Dry Bones, will you come here for a minute?
Super Dry Bones: Of course, Master.
MVBTC: Do you realize that you have disobeyed a direct order from ME?!
Super Dry Bones: … No.
MVBTC: NO?! YOU HAD DIRECT ORDERS NOT TO KILL THE KOOPALINGS!!! YOU SHALL ALL DIE FOR THIS!!! PERMANENTLY!!! EXCEPT FOR SUPER DRY BONES, YOU ALL DIE!!!
MVBTC moves his hand one inch, and a beam of black light shoots out from the center of his body. All of the Dry Bones are enveloped in it and crumple into ashes. MVBTC moves his hand two inches, and a neon blue spiked ball appears from the side of his cloak and rams into the Super Dry Bones. The Super Dry Bones reforms immediately. The spiked ball crushes him again. This continues for about one hour, and then MVBTC explains that the spiked ball will keep on crushing him, and that he has to reform.
Super Dry Bones: An everlasting curse?
MVBTC: Yes, Super
Dry Bones, an everlasting curse. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Chapter 6: Bowser’s Secret
Ludwig, Larry, and Roy wake up from being tranquilized. They see MVBTC and his neon-blue spiked ball crushing the Super Dry Bones over and over.
Ludwig: I don’t believe his immense power…
Larry: He’s alive and better than ever…
Roy: No…
MVBTC: Hm? Ah, Koopalings, you’ve reawakened. Welcome, to your DOOM! Now, I shall take you to my base, immediately!
Ludwig: Never…
Larry: No way…
Roy: You #@%@%^#%#...
MVBTC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
A red beam encompasses the base, and MVBTC and the Koopalings are gone. We’ll now go to the other four Koopalings, Lemmy, Iggy, Wendy, and Morton.
Lemmy: I thought you were dead!
Koopa: EXCUSE ME!!! As I was saying, may I present the honorable Prince Bowser!
Iggy: Don’t you mean Bowser Jr?
Bowser Jr: NO, HE DOESN’T!!! NOW, KOOPALINGS, I’LL GET BACK AT YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME TEN YEARS AGO!
Bowser Jr. has a robotic arm and leg. Half of his right arm is gone.
Bowser Jr: I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! A battle!
Lemmy: Then I challenge you to a Shen-Yi-Bu Dare! Me and Iggy vs. you and a Koopa!
Jr: I accept! I choose… Mega Koopa 2.1!
Lemmy: Wha-?
A gigantic, mechanical Koopa comes out of the small box that Jr. is holding.
Jr.: Let’s go!
Jr. and Lemmy: XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!!!
We are now entering Xiaolin Showdown format. Remember, if a 2 is next to the name, it’s what the character’s saying. If there’s nothing next to the name other than a colon, it’s what they’re doing.
Mega Koopa 2.1
(MK2.1): Rockets! Target: Lemmy!
Iggy: Twin Block!
A blue shape
of Iggy appears in front of Lemmy and blocks the rockets!
Jr: Mega Size!
Lemmy: Copycat!
Jr. and Lemmy
are now both the size of Mega Mario!
Lemmy: Transfer
Power! Target: Iggy!
Iggy is now the
size of Mega Mario, but Lemmy lost ¼ of his stamina!
MK2.1: Shell
Crusher!
MK2.1 is now
a green spiked ball, and is now going towards Iggy!
Lemmy: Twin Block!
A blue shape
of Lemmy appears in front of Iggy and is blocking MK2.1’s attack! But MK2.1
is too powerful! The Lemmy shape shatters and MK2.1 rams into Iggy! Iggy
loses ½ of his stamina!
Lemmy: Health
Evener!
Now all stamina
is cut down by ½!
Jr.2: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Jr: Dark Land-scape!
The field now
resembles Dark Land!
Lemmy and Iggy:
Twin Crusher Impact!
Lemmy and Iggy
are now one gigantic sphere of blue and green light, and they’re heading
straight toward MK2.1! It’s a direct hit! MK2.1 is down!
Jr.2: NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Jr: Final Desperation
of the Koopa!
Jr. lost ½
of his stamina, and Iggy lost all of it!
Lemmy2: NOOOOOOOOOO,
IGGY!!!
Iggy2: Lemmy,
I’m sorry…
Iggy is down!
Jr: Basic Ram!
Jr. is running
into Lemmy! Lemmy doesn’t notice! He’s down! Jr. wins the Xiaolin Showdown!
Now exiting Xiaolin Showdown format!
Lemmy: I lost my castle…
Jr: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Koopas, put them in the jail dungeon!
Koopas: Yes, Master.
Four or five Koopas take the four Koopalings to an underground dungeon and shove them in a cell.
Lemmy: How do we get out?
Iggy: I don’t
know…
Chapter 7: The Big Secret
Now we go to MVBTC’s base, where MVBTC goes back behind his curtain.
MVBTC: So, Koopalings, where are the other Koopalings, hm?
Roy: Why should we tell you?
MVBTC: Because I’m more powerful.
Ludwig: So? We’d rather die than have you know where the other four Koopalings are!
Kamek: Then I’ll get my execution mask.
MVBTC: KAMEK! No one is dying here, except maybe you!
Kamek: Sorry…
MVBTC: So, let’s check on Bowser and see how he’s doing, we haven’t done that in a while, have we?
Kamek: No, Master.
MVBTC: Then put him onscreen!
The cage that Bowser’s in and Bowser appear on screen.
MVBTC: So, Bowser, how do you like your cage?
Bowser: @$!@%$&%^&@$#!!!
MVBTC: Bowser, language! There are kids here!
Roy: WE ARE NOT KIDS!
Bowser: Roy?
Ludwig: Yes, he captured Roy, Larry, and myself.
Bowser: Where are Lemmy, Iggy, Wendy, and Morton?
Roy: They’re at Lemmy’s Ice Land castle! DID YOU KNOW THAT I’M CLAUSTRAPHOBIC?!
MVBTC: Thank you very much, Roy! Now that I know where the other four Koopalings are, it’s only a matter of time before I rule Plit! Kamek, get RoS here, NOW!
Kamek: Yes, Master!
Kamek moves his wand. A big cloud appears, and moves away to reveal RoS.
RoS: What just happened?
MVBTC: We’re taking over Plit!
RoS: Cool.
Kamek: To the Ice Land castle!
MVBTC puts on his black cloak and RoS, Kamek, and MVBTC poof away to the Ice Land castle.
Ludwig: #@%...
Bowser: Ludwig, you’re the only one who can get your siblings out! You’ve got to-
The signal between Bowser and the base is cut off.
Larry: What was he going to say?
Ludwig: I don’t know…
Roy: Ludwig, you’re the smart one, get us out of here…
We now follow MVBTC, Kamek, and RoS to the Ice Land castle.
MVBTC: You, Koopa! Where are the Koopalings?
Koopa: The master put them in the dungeon. I shall contact him immediately.
The Koopa presses a botton on the intercom.
Koopa: Master, there are three guests here to see you.
Jr: All right, all right! I’m coming!
Jr. crashes throught the window.
Jr: What do you
want!?
MVBTC: We want the Koopalings.
Jr: Well, too bad! You’re not getting them! They’re all mine!
MVBTC: Please, we’re both evil, give them to me.
Jr: NO WAY, BUB!
MVBTC: So that’s how it’s going to be, eh? Bowser Jr, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!
Kamek: No, Master! You’ll reveal yourself!
MVBTC: I don’t care at this point, Kamek. None of the Koopalings are here to see, or anyone who isn’t evil. It doesn’t matter. Besides, I’m keeping my cloak on in this fight.
Jr: Name your challenge!
MVBTC: A magic challenge. Kamek, RoS, and two of your Koopas will be the judges. The points are on a scale of 1 to 10. Whoever can get more points in one minute wins.
Jr: All right…
Both: Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!
Kamek, RoS, and two Koopas, Stanley and Bob, are sitting behind a judges table. MVBTC and Jr. are standing in a Pokemon arena. We are now entering Xiaolin Showdown format.
Jr. and MVBTC2:
GONG-YI-TEMPI!
Jr: Mega Size!
Jr. is now the
size of Mega Mario!
Kamek2: 2 points.
RoS2: 1 point.
Stanley2: 7 points.
Bob2: 8 points.
MVBTC: Reversing
Mirror Spell!
MVBTC is now
the size of Mega Mario and Jr. is now the size of Mini Mario!
Kamek2: 5 points.
RoS2: 7 points.
Stanley: 4 points.
Bob2: 3 points.
Jr: Anti-Spell!
MVBTC: Spell
Crusher Curse!
Jr. is now normal
sized, but because of MVBTC’s spell, MVBTC is still Mega Mario-sized, and
Jr. can’t cast anymore size-changing spells!
For MVBTC:
Kamek2: 8 points!
RoS2: 7 points!
Stanley2: 6 points!
Bob2: 5 points!
For Jr:
Kamek2: 0 points.
RoS2: 1 point.
Stanley2: 3 points.
Bob2: 2 points.
The minute is up! Time to count the points! MVBTC gets 45 points total! Jr. gets 24 points total! MVBTC wins the Xiaolin Showdown! Returning to regular format!
Jr: NOOOOOOOO!!! I LOST!
MVBTC: Yes, you did. Now hand over the Koopalings and you can get on with your life.
Jr: NO WAY! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WANT TO KEEP THEM HERE SO MUCH!
MVBTC: So tell me, why do you want to keep them here so much?
Jr: Okay, I’ll tell you. Ten years ago, I trapped the Koopalings in a cell because they'd just pulled a really mean prank on me. Then, Ludwig busted them out with one of his inventions. I zapped him with my stunning ray that King Dad gave me for my birthday. Then, Lemmy got really mad and challenged me to a Xiaolin Showdown. The challenge was me vs. all 7 of them. No restrictions. First, Lemmy and Iggy blasted me with one of their annoying twin moves. Then, Roy slammed me into a wall. I tried to attack Iggy with my gamma ray, but Ludwig put an explodey thing in it that destroyed my gamma ray when I tried to fire it. That left me stunned, so Ludwig decided to end the showdown by blasting me into space. The machine backfired, and ripped off my arm. Then, Lemmy used his freeze ray on me to try to stop the bleeding. He missed, and he had it on full power, and the blast hit my leg, and then Morton threw a sharp object at me, and snapped my leg off. Then, Roy cut off half of my right arm with his knife. That ended the Xiaolin Showdown. I had my Mega Koopa 1.9 try to destroy them, but instead it exploded, sending me to this castle. There, I met a bunch of Koopas trying to keep the castle in shape. They adopted me and made me king of that castle. Then, five years from then, Mario broke into the castle and clobbered me and all of the Koopas who tried to defend me. After that, Luigi came in and got rid of all of the Koopas in the castle. I was all alone, until I found a room in the castle where a bunch of Koopas were hiding. They replaced my arm and leg, but they couldn’t do anything by the time they got to my arm. After that, all I could do was read Magikoopa books. One of the Koopas gave me a magic wand he picked up in one of the castle storage rooms before Luigi ransacked it. And that brought me here, to live a life of deep, deep sorrow. I WANT TO KILL THEM!
MVBTC: Well, it seems as though we have the same enimies. We should work together, as allies. What do you say, Jr?
Jr: I say, why should I? I’ve got everything I need right here!
MVBTC: Join me,
Bowser Jr, and we shall rule the Mushroom Kingdom as grandfather
and grandson.
Jr: Who are you?
A thunderstorm begins. Lightning flashes. All electricity goes out. And Bowser’s cage starts to collapse.
Bowser: I’LL BE CRUSHED UNDER THIS THWOMP-COVERED METAL! HELLLLPPP!