Prologue: This Means War!
It is a year after The Horrible War. The war was actually named the War of Freedom, but it had enslaved more people than it had freed, so people rarely refer to it as such.
Anyhow, the Mushroom Kingdom had sent in a spy to Bowser’s Castle, hoping to find out what the big lump was going to try next. However, the spy was caught, and Bowser sent out a Koopa Troop to assault the castle, which of course, failed miserably. Princess Peach went psycho, and launched a full-scale all-out war against Bowser. Unfortunately, Mario wasn’t there to lead them to victory, and Luigi didn’t fit the bill either. They were on vacation, away in the “Real World”. In turn, the Mushroom Kingdom was enslaved by Bowser. He let his monstrous sons tromp all over the place, not caring about who or what they destroyed. By sons, I mean all of the Koopas.
Mario and Luigi returned from their vacation to find the Mushroom Kingdom in ruins. Civilians, sometimes as many as eight, lived in tiny shacks rarely as big as an apartment. Mario and Luigi where infuriated, of course. This was Bowser’s doing.
We join our heroes as they are about
to fight a hoard of Koopas, who are assaulting innocent civilians…
Chapter One: Bad Times
“Stop that at once! They are innocent!” bellowed Mario in such a voice that scared Luigi. Everything scared Luigi, and nothing scared Mario. It was hard to believe that they were brothers.
The Koopas snapped their heads around toward Mario. You could almost hear them thinking “WHAT? HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME?!” Then they saw who it was. They cowered in their boots at Mario, but one of the smarter ones quickly figured out that they outnumbered Mario and Luigi. “Let’s kill him!” he bellowed, and charged at Mario. Soon enough, there was an army, all heading towards them!
Mario calmly sent a fireball towards them. Luigi might have wet his pants, he couldn’t quite remember. Anyhow, the fireball knocked the Koopas over like bowling pins. All those who didn’t get hit, scattered out of the way like frightened mice. Soon, the place was in complete and utter chaos, as Koopa after Koopa got swatted away from Mario.
Then, several things happened at once. Four or five Koopa Troopas charged at Mario from behind, Luigi regained courage and flew at three Koopas with insanity as his only weapon, Mario was rendered handicapped as a Chain Chomp smashed into him, and there where several cries of terror as Luigi sent his fists of fury over the Koopas. The five Koopa Troopas who had charged at them from behind ran into the Chain Chomp instead. The Chain Chomp lived up to his name, and the five Koopa Troopas were chomped. Mario went spinning into the air and somehow managed to hit Luigi, and they both went down into a sea of Koopas.
***
Luigi awoke first. He was confused; all he remembered was that the world he knew was gone. Then he regained his senses. He was in a dungeon of sorts. Luigi guessed that it was a dungeon for heroes and stuff; it was like Mario’s bedroom with no way out. Bars covered tiny windows that not even Toad could squeeze through. The door to the room was six inches of steel, and locked with a bolt from the outside. No, there was no escaping for them.
Luigi was in a bed. Nonono, more like a cot than a bed. Mario was lying on a cot similar to Luigi’s. He looked… well, funny. Something about him was off. Meh, Luigi thought to himself, Must be my imagination.
Just as he thought that, Mario exploded. No, not literally, you fruit loop. Mario sat straight up and yelled “WU-DUH! GAAAAAAAAWW!” in a voice that really scared Luigi.
Then it hit him. That’s what seemed funny about Mario: He was insane! Luigi could sympathize. Having his kingdom taken over by an overgrown tortoise could not be good for the man. Why, it was a miracle that Luigi hadn’t fallen victim to insanity’s cold grip already.
The plasma TV on the wall flickered to life. On it was Bowser’s ugly face. “HAW HAW HAW! It seems your friend has lost his marbles!” Bowser roared.
“Shut up, you oaf!” screamed Luigi, which only made Bowser laugh harder. The fact that Mario was screaming his head off about ‘wu-duh’ didn’t help Luigi’s confidence either.
Bowser wiped a tear from his eye. “You’re trapped! Like a dog!” Bowser started into a fit of Haw-Haw-Haws again.
“I’ll find a way out of here if it kills him!” shrieked Luigi as he pointed in the general direction of his crazy brother. “We’ll get out, and free the kingdom!”
Bowser became dead serious. “You don’t get it, do you? You’ve LOST. You’ve FAILED. And, furthermore, if you escape, you die. I poisoned you while you were out cold. Now, your body is a walking explosive. You escape, I push the plunger. BOOM! You’re dead. You lose.”
Luigi sank to the ground sobbing. It was true, all of it… They were doomed.
Bowser seemed bored. “Your misery saddens me so. I’ll leave you to your grief.” The plasma screen went dead.
Luigi pulled himself together. This
was no time to be sad, he had to get out. Luigi saw a crack in the wall.
He started formulating a plan…
Chapter Two: Welcome to the Jungle
Luigi’s plan was not rational. In fact, it wasn’t even smart. But if Luigi was correct, it would get him out of the dungeon. He waited until what he presumed was dusk, through the crack. He looked at Mario… Surely this plan wouldn’t work… but no, Luigi had to try, or he would go insane with boredom.
At dusk, Luigi took a sharp, rusty chain, and… well, I’ll spare the details. Long, gross story short, Luigi removed the explosives from himself and Mario… It was too dark for the cameras and, unlucky for him, Luigi to see anything, so he trusted by feel alone.
Luigi planted the explosives at the base of the cracked wall, and moved himself and the wailing Mario over to the far end of the room. He then took some straw from his cot and grinded a stone together with some flint that Mario always carried around. Soon, sparks emanated from the flint and landed on the straw; so far, so good. Luigi then threw the burning straw onto the explosives; now he only had to wait a minute or two. 30 seconds later, the explosives… well, exploded. It was a miracle Luigi wasn’t hurt. The same cannot be said for Mario. He had cut Mario badly when removing the “poison”, and he was in no condition to travel. Luigi had to leave him here, and come back later.
Luigi bolted through the mess that was once a wall. No point in being careful now, that explosion was loud enough to wake the dead. Luigi ran, and ran, and ran ‘til he could run no more. He found himself in an urbanized environment; it was a lot like Brooklyn, Mushroom Kingdom style, what Mario would call a “Concrete Jungle”.
Luigi wandered through the streets, his mind trying to grasp the idea that he may not see Mario again. Luigi then saw a familiar person walking around; Koops! Luigi sprinted toward him, and almost collided with the wall.
“Luigi! What are you doing here?” Koops exclaimed.
“Mario is being held at Bowser’s Castle not far from here,” Luigi informed Koops.
“What? Mario? We have to go rescue him!” Koops said, determined.
“There’s only one problem.”
“What?”
“Mario’s insane.”
At the mention of Mario’s marbles, or
lack thereof, Koops’s heart sank. His hero was cuckoo. Still, there must
be a chance of rescue. Koops set out to gather the fellows to bust Mario
out.
Chapter 3: Sleep
Koops rushed into a small village nearby. It took a while, but Koops reached a well concealed hatch in the ground. He knocked.
“Who is it?!” a voice yelled at him from inside the hatch.
“Koops,” Koops responded.
“Password?”
“Firefly.”
“…Come on in.”
As Koops was opening the hatch, some movement caught his eye. A movement in the bushes. Koops glared long and hard at the bushes, and finally shrugged it off. It must have been nothing, Koops thought to himself. Suddenly, he heard a sound. Koops looked up just in time to see a 2X4 wooden plank being swung towards his head. Then, everything went black.
***
Luigi waited impatiently. Where was Koops? It was already an hour since he'd left. After ten more minutes, Luigi gave up. Koops quit, he thought. Luigi walked along the deserted city streets of Longview, thinking of a way he could get Mario’s marbles back.
Then, an idea hit him. Luigi raced along the streets, in the general direction of Bowser’s Castle.
***
The next day...
Luigi snuck quietly past two still sleeping guards, then dived behind a crate before another guard saw him. This is just like Metal Gear Solid, Luigi thought to himself as he waited for the guard to finish his patrol.
“Zein Alh Fuher! Zekn mein leabo!” a voice behind him shouted. Luigi quickly sprang up and ran for it, deciphering the message along the way. Then, it struck him. The guard was not alerting the others to Luigi’s presence, merely stating how the thought of Bowser made his coffee cold. But it was too late. The guards saw him, and ran toward him.
Luigi was faced with three options. 1, run away. 2, fight and be defeated. 3, kick some turtle butt with a nearby katana. Luigi chose option 3…
To Be Continued...
| If you would like to send some feedback
to the author of this submission, please complete this form.
What's your name?
What's your Email address?
How do you rate this submission?
Does this submission belong in Little
Lemmy's Land?
Would you like to see more from this author? Comments and suggestions:
|
