Maguskoopa: Do you know what time it is?
Audience member: Uhhh, 2:01? [The computer’s clock when I wrote this.]
Maguskoopa: It’s time for ONCE AND FOR ALL! But first, the answer to last chapter’s trivia question was Team Larry. The person who won was…
AC!
Maguskoopa: All right. This next task has some backstory to it.
FLASH!
Maguskoopa: Wowww… Coolest…FF… ever…
Random Ghost: Wow! Cool hypnotic pattern!
Maguskoopa: Must… obey… Double… D…
BACK!
Maguskoopa: Aheh. Heh. Heh. Um. Well, even after I escaped his hypnotic control (Kidding! Kidding! I swear!) I still thought that Double D’s cooking competition was very cool. So, I decided to make this chapter of Once and For All’s melee…
CHEFSTRAVAGANZA!
Maguskoopa: Each team will be assigned their own kitchen and will have to cook a meal consisting of an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert. Basic ingredients have been provided, like flour and sugar, but for special ingredients, like fruit, you have to use the back door in your kitchen! It leads to a special warehouse where you’ll have to evade the other teams in order to get your ingredients. Once you’re done, an experienced team of judges will judge your work.
Roy: You mean whoever wanted to walk in and judge.
Maguskoopa: That too. And for those of you who can’t cook, there’s a cookbook in your kitchen, with lots of recipes! And one more thing…
VWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Maguskoopa whips out a Poltergust and inhales Mr. Luggs.
Maguskoopa: Now THAT would be a handicap. Now, get going!
TEAM LEMMY: KITCHEN 1
Crystal King: Why exactly are we in Kitchen 1, anyways?
Lemmy: Maguskoopa probably used a complex and totally random generation system.
…
Lemmy: You’re right, he probably makes it up on the fly. All right, we should probably pick someone who can go get the ingredients from the warehouse at a moment’s notice. Sir Weston, are you up for the job?
Sir Weston: Sure. What are you planning to cook, anyways?
Lemmy: If I knew the judges, I could say for sure, but I guess I’ll just go with my tastes… AHA! First on the list… rolls stuffed with Great White Blurp! Ummm… We have flour, salt, water… Sir Weston, can you get some Great White Blurp meat out of storage?
Sir Weston: I’m on it.
Sir Weston floats through the door to the warehouse.
TEAM IGGY: KITCHEN 2
Iggy: Finally, an event where Roy can’t beat me up! All right, what should we do for appetizers?
Duplighost: Stuffed Mushrooms?
Iggy: Not a bad idea. Do you know where the recipe is?
Duplighost: Um, page 11.
Iggy flips to page 11.
Iggy: ACK! FIVE POUNDS OF REFRESHING HERBS! THAT’S RIDICULOUS! IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!
Manta Storm: …
Iggy: And what can YOU do? You can’t pick up objects, flip pages, or cook!
Manta Storm: …
Iggy: All right, that’s it. Madame Clairvoya, I’m sure that the warehouse has a lot of Refreshing Herbs. Can you go get some?
Madame Clairvoya: Sure thing.
Inside the warehouse…
Madame Clairvoya: Ah, right here!
CRASH! SMASH! THRASH!
Roy: HA! Try to find your ingredients in THAT mess!
Roy takes a bunch of stuff and leaves.
Sir Weston: Great! What are we supposed to do now?
Madame Clairvoya: I don’t know about you, but…
Madame Clairvoya concentrates on her crystal ball and gets a premonition of where the five pounds of Refreshing Herbs are located in the heap of food that Roy created. Later…
Iggy: Great! Duplighost, can you cook? I need to find the next recipe.
Duplighost: Sure, I’ve got a Cordon Blanche in ghostly food!
TEAM LEMMY: KITCHEN 3
Sir Weston: Argh! Argh! Ha!
Sir Weston pulls out a huge chunk of meat from the pile and runs back.
Glurp: Glurp glurp! Glurrp glurpy glurp! GLURP!
Sir Weston: I know I’m late! Roy made a huge mess! We should start cooking right away!
Lemmy: Sure!
As Team Lemmy begins to cook, they don’t notice a fatal mistake…
TEAM ROY: KITCHEN 4
Roy: HA! With them out of the way, I’m going to sweep this by storm! What recipe did you decide on?
Rawk Hawk: I think cookin’s for RAWWWWWWKIN’ sissies!
SNATCH!
Roy: Care to repeat that to Chef Torte’s assistant chef?
Rawk Hawk: Um… no?
BAM!
Rawk Hawk: Feel… the… rawwwwk… awwk…
Iron Cleft: Wow. I didn’t even know you had that side, Roy.
Roy: What can I say, I’m a multifaceted Koopa. Now then, you picked the cabbage floret?
Biff: Right, but with spicy sauce.
Roy: Ah, great idea.
Iron Cleft: Um… I see. Can I pick dessert? I like dessert.
TEAM LUDWIG: KITCHEN 5
Ludwig: Great! We’re trailing in the standings, and now look! A food competition! I’m no connoisseur, Melody’s a ghost so she doesn’t need to eat, Dr. Shroob’s from another planet, and Fawful… um…
Fawful: I HAVE FURY!
Fawful blows up a set of dishes.
Ludwig: -is Fawful.
Melody: Well, what should we do?
Ludwig: Resort to our last option… hamburger, French fries, and a chocolate milkshake. Too unclassy for the judges, I’m guessing.
Dr. Shroob: We won’t let that happen, Ludwig.
Ludwig: Thanks. *sniff* You guys are the greatest. Okay… FAWFUL! GET THE FOOD!
Fawful: The other teams shall tremble unto me, for I… HAVE FURY!
WHAP DO WHAP DO WHAPPA DO WHAP A! Fawful gets relentlessly battered by cabbage.
Ludwig: What the?!
THE WAREHOUSE
Total chaos. All seven teams have set up little forts and are throwing food at each other, desperately trying to stop the others.
Lemmy: WAHOOOOOO! TAKE THAT!
WHAP! SPLAT! WHACK!
Manta Storm: …!…!!!!
Iggy: That’s right! Go ahead!
Manta Storm easily evades the volley of fruit and vegetables and knocks down a pile of food, allowing some to come within Team Iggy’s reach.
Duplighost: HA! Now let’s–
SMACK!
Duplighost: HEY! WATCH THE SHEET! RAHHHHHHH!
CRASH!
Roy: Roy Special!
WHAM!
Iggy: AUUGHHH! RETREAT! RETREAT!!!
Larry: Melon attack!
A melon grows a vine and starts to choke Roy.
Roy: Akk… ak… ack…
Iron Cleft: I’ll save you, Roy!
SLASH! Roy gets freed.
Roy: Let’s go! Don’t forget the task at hand!
TEAM MORTON: KITCHEN 6
Morton: Yesbeingabletocookjustmakesmewanttosingdoyouwanttosing
yesIknowyoudo.
Tutankoopa: WHAT?! I’M A THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD COURT MAGICIAN! I DON'T SING!
Pokey: No.
Audience: POKEY! POKEY! POKEY!
Morton: FinethenIllsingbymyselfohsaycanyouseebythestarsearlyli–
KA-SOCK!
Tutankoopa: Yeah… Let’s just start cooking. Pokey, bar the door.
Pokey: Why?
Audience: POKEY! POKEY! POKEY!
Tutankoopa: Because, A, you’re better at being like a wall than either of us, and B, you have no hands to cook with.
Pokey: Ok.
Audience: WE LOVE YOU, POKEY!
TEAM IGGY
Doopliss: Add a little of this, a little of that, a little obscure reference, and–BAM! Spaghetti with Skullheads!
Iggy: That looks great! Need anything else?
Doopliss: Well, I’m out of flour for the garlic bread.
Iggy: No problem! Invisibility!
F-ZOW! Iggy turns invisible and sneaks into Team Roy’s kitchen.
Iggy: Heh heh heh… And nobody knows.
SNATCH!
Roy: Think again, buster!
Iggy: But… but… HOW?!
Roy: I heard you talking to yourself. Now, steal some flour for me or…
Iggy: Or what? You can’t see me well enough to hit me.
Roy: No, but I CAN put you in the Sports Hall when the spell wears off.
Iggy: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I’M GOING! WHICH TEAM?!
Roy: Whoever.
Iggy runs away.
Iron Cleft: He’s not going to listen, is he?
Roy: Doesn’t matter, I added a little “surprise” to his kitchen.
THE WAREHOUSE
Fawful: I HAVE FURY!
Ludwig; NO TIME, FAWFUL! GET WHAT WE NEED!
Fawful: You interrupted Fawful! YOU DIE LIKE THE MUSTARD ON A SANDWICH OF FAILURE! UTTER FALIURE! HAHAHAHAA!
Ludwig: Need I remind you that I have a remote detonator to your Headgear?
Fawful: N-n-no… No explode precious… W-we get foods…
Fawful steals a bag of potatoes.
TEAM WENDY
Wendy: The nerve! The author hasn’t even mentioned me!
Hermie III: I wonder why that ith?
Starkiss and Annoying Reporter are seen talking in the background… really, really, fast.
Wendy: Oh, right.
Starkiss: HEY!
Miss Petunia: So, are we done?
Wendy: Almost… We just need some finishing touches.
Miss Petunia: Why? We finished about an hour ago because you were the only one who wasn’t interested in fighting with the others!
Wendy: Well, boys will be boys. In any case, I bet presentation will be just as important as flavor, so I’m trying to appeal to that angle!
TEAM LUDWIG
Ludwig: Are… we done yet?
Melody: Almost! All we have left is the chocolate shake! Problem is…
Ludwig; Great, what now?
Melody: We’re out of chocolate.
Ludwig: WHAT?! GREAT! JUST GREAT! Fine… just make a vanilla milkshake, or whatever. The sooner we get over with this disgraceful competition, the better.
Dr. Shroob: You aren’t interested in winning?
Ludwig; It’s not that, I’m just a horrible cook.
Later…
Maguskoopa: Time’s up!
WHAP!
Maguskoopa: WHAT THE SPORK?! STOP, YOU MORONS!
ERRT!
…
Maguskoopa: Thank you. Please bring your dishes to the judging area. If you don’t have an appetizer, main course, and dessert, you’re automatically disqualified.
Larry: ACK! THE CHOCOLATE CAKE!
Larry rushes into his kitchen to find…
Larry: OH NO! IT’S COLLAPSED AND I’M OUT OF FLOUR! I’VE… BEEN DISQUALIFIED… AGAIN!!!
Crayzee Dayzee: You sound like my sister Earthbloom, man.
Maguskoopa: I’m sorry, Team Larry, but you’ve been disqualified again. Too bad.
Jarvis: NOOOOOOOO!
Sunnycide: NOOOOOOOOOO! NO CAKE!!!
JUDGING
Maguskoopa: Thank you, and I appreciate your work! My experienced team of judges has been composed of five different people…
CHEF TORTE: Merrymore Official Chef
GOURMET GUY: Gourmet guy
ZESS T: Cranky old geezer– I mean, venerable, respected chef
FLAVIO: Gourmet for some random magazine
GENO: Who cares about credentials, he’s GENO! W00T!
Maguskoopa: Each judge will partake of your meal and give it a mark of 1 out of 10. Whoever gets the highest score wins. Pretty simple. Very well then, bring out the judges!
The judges walk out.
Chef Torte: Yes, zee food might be good, but not oz it vill be as good as MOI! Hee hee…
Gourmet Guy: Food? FOOD?! WOOHOO!
Zess T: All right, time-waster, let’s get this over with.
Flavio: HAHA! I shall astound you all with my bold tales of–
Geno: GENO SOCK!
KA-SOCK!
Tutankoopa: Ah, so that’s why he’s there.
Chef Torte: Vell now, ze judging vill now begin!
Morton: OkayitlookslikeImupandImsurethatGenodoesnothaveanothersock
soImallright.
TEAM MORTON: BLAZING
SPICES
Appetizer: Chili
Fries with Extra Chili
Main Course:
Vindaloo
Dessert: Jalapeño
Ice Cream
COMMENTS
Chef Torte: Jalapeño
Ice Cream?!
Gourmet Guy:
Jalapeño Ice Cream?!
Zess T: Jalapeño
Ice Cream?!
Flavio: Jalapeño
Ice Cream?!
Geno: Jalapeño
Ice Cream?!
SCORES
CT: 6
GG: 7
ZT: 5
F: 5
G: 6
TOTAL: 29
TEAM WENDY: AQUATIC
FEAST OF FANCY
Appetizer: Garlic
Blooper
Main Course:
Cheep Cheep Filet with… Sauce
Dessert: Sea
Salt Ice Cream
COMMENTS
Chef Torte: I
just wish I knew what that sauce on the Cheep Cheep was…
Gourmet Guy:
Ughhh… Too much garlic… I feel icky…
Zess T: HEY!
GOURMET GUY! MOVE YOUR BREATH AWAY FROM MY FACE!
Flavio: Ha ha!
Flavio is used to the bounties of the sea! Flavio endorses!
Geno: Not too
bad.
SCORES
CT: 8
GG: 8
ZT: 2
F: 9
G: 7
TOTAL: 34
TEAM IGGY: SWEET,
SWEET GHOST FOOD
Appetizer: Caramel-Dipped
Cookies shaped like Boos
Main Course:
Invisible Ice Cream
Dessert: Choco
Torte
COMMENTS
Chef Torte: Dessert
is good; it has moi name on it!
Gourmet Guy:
Just too sweet, not a meal.
Zess T: Honestly
just not a meal.
Flavio: Flavio
does not know where the ice cream is!
Geno: Good. Really
good!
SCORE
CT: 7
GG: 4
ZT: 6
F: 6
G: 9
TOTAL: 32
TEAM ROY: FIESTA
DE SPORTS HALL
Appetizer: Cabbage
florets with spicy sauce
Main Course:
Jabañero Quesadillas
Dessert: Flan
COMMENTS:
Chef Torte: A
nice theme, but ze flan… Moi HATES flan!
Gourmet Guy:
Not much to say. Pretty good!
Zess T: WOOHOO!
I LOVE FLAN!
Flavio: It makes
sense to Flavio that the geezer likes the bad dessert…
Geno: FLAN?!
Yecch!
SCORE
CT: 5
GG: 7
ZT: 10
F: 3
G: 3
TOTAL: 28
TEAM LEMMY
Chef Torte: Ah,
zee stuffed biscuits! Let uz see…
Chef Torte pops a biscuit into his mouth, and his expression drastically changes.
Chef Torte: AKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! DEEP CHEEP! ZIS IS DEEP CHEEP!
(Note: On Plit, Deep Cheep is the equivalent to anchovies.)
Judges: DEEP CHEEP?! THIS IS AN INSULT!!!
Lemmy: WHAT?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS BLURP!
Scores:
CT: 1
GG: 1
ZT: 1
F: 1
G: 1
TOTAL: 5
Flavio: FLAVIO CANNOT GET THE TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
Chef Torte: You did not even tazte eet!
Flavio: I KNOW! FLAVIO FEELS THE BAD TASTE THROUGH THE AIR!
TEAM LUDWIG: LUDWIG’S
DINER
Appetizer: French
Fries
Main Course:
Hamburger
Dessert: Yoshi
Cookie Milkshake
COMMENTS:
Chef Torte: Moi
loves it! Nice and humble food, unlike zee Bundt… ezpecially when moi adds
too much yeast.
Gourmet Guy:
YAY! ME LOVES IT!
Zess T: For the
first time ever, I have to agree with these dolts.
Flavio: Flavio
endorses! BUY FROM ME, FLAVIO!!!
Geno: AWESOME!
SCORES:
CT: 10
GG: 8
ZT: 9
F: 7
G: 10
TOTAL: 44
Ludwig: Wha… that means that… I…
Dr. Shroob: WE WON! WE WON! WOOHOO!
Melody: Wow! I never thought we’d do it!
Fawful: MUSTARD!
Maguskoopa: Congratulations, Team Ludwig! You pulled off an astonishing offset, winning in a landslide with food that’s much less than gourmet. Great job!
STANDINGS:
1. Team Ludwig
2. Team Wendy
3. Team Iggy
4. Team Morton
5. Team Roy
6. Team Larry
7. Team Lemmy
Lemmy: WHAT?! How did I GET BEHIND SOMEONE WHO WAS DISQUALIFIED?!
Maguskoopa: The bread was that bad.
POINT TOTALS:
Team Larry: 13
points
Team Morton:
10 points
Team Wendy: 20
points
Team Iggy: 21
points
Team Roy: 15
points
Team Lemmy: 16
Team Ludwig:
17 points
To Be Continued…
PLAY MAGUSKOOPA’S NOT TRIVIA GAME! If you want to be inserted, yes, inserted, in my next chapter, fill in the review sheet below with:
1. Your name
2. Your personality
(please, PLEASE don’t put in “mysterious” or the like)
3. What part
of Mario Kart tracks you like (cannons, turns, turbo, etc)
The first four people to send them in will get inserted in the next chapter! This way, more people than AC will be able to get in the next chapter. See ya!
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