Chapter Seven: The Big Exciting Clashy Battle Thing… of DOOM!
The Mario Bros. again arrive in Peach’s Castle. Strange how although the Time Holes led to strange places all over the Mushroom Kingdom’s past that they all lead to the same area in the present… weird. Anyways, they arrive in the castle and head over to E. Gadd, who is playing an anatomy game with his hi-tech equipment.
E. Gadd: And then the toes are… here?
Computer: Incorrect. Toes are here.
E. Gadd: Oh! At the end of the foot! Who would have thunk it! I always thought they were that big, round thing on my face!
Computer: That is your nose.
E. Gadd: Oh
Luigi: E. Gadd!
E. Gadd: ACK! What do you want?! I’m very busy!
Luigi: While I hate to interrupt your…”educational” game time, I have to tell you that we collected enough Shards to get into Shroob Castle. Do you know where the Time Hole for that is?
E. Gadd: It’s not a game! It is important scientific work! But… the Time Hole is probably the one on the third floor… It is the only one you haven’t been to yet. Now leave! I have some fingers to find!
Computer: Those are legs.
Luigi: We’ll be going now…
The Mario Bros. run up to the third and top floor of Peach’s Castle. They soon find the Time Hole, in the center of the room and easy to reach. They jump in and are transported as usual. However… this time they are taken to… the FINAL BATTLE… place, thing. They arrive in front of the Shroob Castle gates. There is a mystical alien force field in front of it blocking entry. The castle looks similar to Peach’s castle but has large, purple Mushroom towers jutting up all over it, is purple, and has Princess Shroob statues are all over the place. The Cobalt Star emerges and, using its powerful startastic magic, vaporizes the force field. The Star then disappears.
Luigi: Well… I guess that means we can go in…
Mario: Woohoo!
Baby Mario: Meh…
Baby Luigi: Ay!
The four Bros. enter… Princess Shroob’s Castle… The inside is similar to the outside, purple and Mushroomy. They walk a bit trying to figure out what to do when a purple creature that looks like a Tanoomba appears (a Tashrooba). A few feet away is a large, metal ball thing (a Snoozorb).
Luigi: Okay… What do we do about these guys?
The Tashrooba turns into a spiked shell and spins at the Bros.
Luigi: I wonder if this would work?
When it gets near to Luigi he kicks it in the side, where there are no spikes. The thing goes flying and collides with the Snoozorb. Three yellow, curved planks extend through the sides acting as arms and legs and a head pops out through a small, retractable hole. The Snoozorb takes one look at the Tashrooba… then vaporizes it with a laser blast. The Snoozorb then goes back to sleep.
Luigi: Uh… That’s mine! I beat it!
Mario: Oh NOOOOOO!
Luigi: Fine. The ball-creature beat it. Jerk. So technical.
The Mario Bros. continue through the Shroobdacious castle. They come to an open path on the second floor. Luigi is about to walk on it when several Shroob Saucers floating overhead blast at him. The shockwave hits him and carries him back to Mario. Baby Luigi smacks him with his hammer.
Luigi: OW! I’m SORRY, okay?
Baby Luigi: NO!
Luigi: Fine. We’ll have to go around that path then…
The Bros. soon come to a large staircase that takes them to a strange room with various buttons and control thingies.
Luigi: Well… I have no idea what any of these are or do… but it probably has some importance involving our advancement through the castle.
Mario: Woohoo!
Mario smashes the keyboard with his hand, hitting many of the unintelligible symbols.
Luigi: ACK! Do you have any clue what you just did?!
Mario: Oh NOOOOOOO!!!
Luigi: Very encouraging.
The room they are in (which is actually the top of a large statue of Princess Shroob) suddenly starts to shudder and shake as various rockets underneath the room fire, carrying the top part of the statue into the air. This is very illogical and for an unknown purpose. After all, who needs part of a statue to fly? Entire statues can be very useful what with the transportation ease that would cause… but part? How strange.
Luigi: W-w-what’s going o-on?
Baby Luigi: YAY!
Baby Luigi jumps off of Luigi as soon as the statue settles and slams the control panel with his hammer. This causes the statue head… thing… to fly off erratically and crash into the Shroob Saucers, sending them flying to who knows where. Then the statue part conveniently lands right on the open path where Luigi got shot at. Baby Luigi hops back onto Luigi and the Bros. go outside.
Luigi: Wow… I have no clue how we got here… but it IS convenient so I’ll accept it without question.
Mario: YAY!
And so the Mario Bros. continue their journey through the castle. Soon they come to a warp pipe that says “To Princess Shroob’s Lair”. Don’t ask why it is in English.
Luigi: Why is that sign in English?
Told him not to ask. Before the Bros. can go in it, a yellow creature similar to the Love Bubble (it is a Soul Bubble) and a large purple dinosaur (Shroob Rex) jump out and make threatening noises.
Shroob Rex: I threaten you!
Luigi: Uh… right…
Soul Bubble: Give me your SOUL!
The Soul Bubble turns and faces the Shroob Rex. A pale white strand starts flowing from the Shroob Rex to the Soul Bubble.
Shroob Rex: What?! NO! STOP!
Soul Bubble: HA HA HA HA HA! SOULS! SOULS!
The white strand fades as the Soul Bubble finishes its evil work. The Shroob Rex cries and runs off.
Soul Bubble: Thank you!
The Soul Bubble starts fly-skipping away while occasionally shouting “SOULS!” Soon it is out of view.
Luigi: That was creepy.
Mario: Okeydokey!
The Mario Bros. go into the pipe. They start to go up the pipe… until suddenly they stop.
Luigi: That’s weird… Usually we’re just teleported there, we don’t actually travel through a pipe… And why did we stop?
There is a large sign blocking their path. It says “Pipe closed for maintenance… Purple Mushrooms blocking travel. Please hit button for detour.” There is a small, red button near the sign. Mario slams it. An alternate path opens on the side. The Bros. goes inside it… but the path doesn’t go up… it goes DOWN!
Luigi: AAAAAHHHHH!
Baby Mario: EEEEEEEEE!
Mario: WHEEEEEEEE!
Baby Luigi: OOHOO!!!
They land rather hard in the basement of the castle. While the fall should have at least caused them some back pain, all it does is make Luigi very frightened.
Luigi: My whole life flashed before my lives… and it stunk.
Mario hops to his feet as does Baby Luigi. Baby Mario seems a bit more frightened but eventually gets up. Luigi staggers to his feet.
Luigi: I guess we keep going, although this is really inconvenient.
The Babies get back on the Bros. The basement has a similar atmosphere as the rest of the castle... but a bit more wet. They walk out of the small room into the big basement area. Before they can continue, though, a flashing red Lethal Bob-omb and a gray Shy Guy-like ghost called Ghoul Guy pop up from behind a corner,
Luigi: I’m getting really sick of all these enemies!
The Lethal Bob-omb then explodes, taking out the Ghoul Guy.
Luigi: Although if they all did that I guess I could get used to enemies.
The Mario Bros. walk into a strange, large room covered with piping and a green platform. Surrounding it is water except for the tiny stretch of path they are on and another one on the other side, covered with spikes. On the other side of the spikes is a warp pipe. A floating block is in the middle of the almost island.
Luigi: I’m guessing we have to get to that warp pipe… and we probably have to hit that block, so…
Mario dashes forward to hit the block but a Chomp flies out of the water and eats it. The Chomp then dives into one of five big pipes dangling from the ceiling.
Luigi: You’ve got be kidding me. We have to get that block back from the Chomp?!
Mario: Woohoo!
Mario grabs Baby Mario and puts him on the ground. Mario then grabbed Luigi and dashes away.
Luigi: What are you doing?!
Baby Mario: *confused squeak*
Chomp: *teeth gnashing*
The Chomp dives out of one of the pipes and lands silently behind Baby Mario. It slowly creeps up on him as Baby Mario looks at Mario and Luigi.
Luigi: Oh… I get it… Baby Mario is bait… and right before the Chomp eats him you’re going to do something to get the block back?
Mario: Oh NOOOOO!
Luigi: What do you mean?
Mario makes chomping motions.
Luigi: After he gets eaten?!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Luigi: You’re twisted!
Baby Mario hears something behind him and turns around. He sees the Chomp two inches away and about to devour him.
Baby Mario: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
The high-pitched sound causes the Chomp to writhe in pain… before exploding. The block the black, round thing ate floats up.
Luigi: Well… That was convenient.
For once Mario is speechless. He quickly gets over it and runs over to Baby Mario and the block. He roughly shoves Baby Mario onto his back and hits the block, expecting the spikes blocking the warp pipe to retract. However, the warp pipe disappears.
Luigi: ACK! What’d you DO?!
Luigi runs over to Mario. Right when he gets there the warp pipe reappears underneath the Bros.
Luigi: NOT AGAIN!
Mario: Woohoo!
Baby Mario: EEEEEEE!
Baby Luigi: Oohoo!
They pop up outside a door that says “Room where Princess Peach is held captive.”
Luigi: YAY! We’re almost done!
Before they can enter the door, though, two purple creatures fell from the ceiling and land in front of them. One is a Shroob with a bushy, purple mustache and a cane (Shroobsworth) while the other just looks like a regular Shroob (Intern Shroob).
Shroobsworth: I say… You cannot see the princess!
Intern Shroob: Hear hear!
The Intern Shroob pulls out a pen and paper and starts scribbling.
Intern Shroob: I double as a secretary!
Luigi: What? Why do you look like Toadsworth if he was Shroobified, and why do you speak English?!
Shroobsworth: Uh… EAT CANE!
Shroobsworth dashes forward and tries to hit Mario with his cane. Mario grabs it and snaps it on his knee.
Shroobsworth: You broke my cane! You big meanie! I mean… uh… that was very disrespectful!
Intern Shroob: I’m taking notes!
Shroobsworth: Shut up.
Intern Shroob: Yes sir!
Luigi: This is insane.
Shroobsworth: So you… have defeated my staff…
Luigi: It was a cane.
Shroobsworth: Shut UP! You may have defeated it… but can you survive-
Intern Shroob: I love you!
Shroobsworth: AHHH! INTERN THROW!
Intern Shroob: Whee!
The Shroobsworth throws the Intern Shroob at Luigi. Luigi easily sidesteps and the creature hits the wall behind him and explodes.
Shroobsworth: Uh… METEOR STRIKE!
He raises his arms and a large, purple meteor falls from the ceiling… somehow… and squishes him.
Luigi: Well… that was anticlimactic.
Mario: Woohoo!
The Mario Bros. enter the door… and find a massive chamber. There are stairs on the left side. It is strange as the right side of the room looks similar to the left, only no stairs… or doors… or anything… but it looks like SOMETHING was supposed to be there. And in the center of the room is a large energy field, shaped like a round cylinder… and inside the hi-tech cage is…
Luigi: Princess Peach!
Princess Peach: …
Her mouth is moving rapidly but somehow the energy field is preventing her from being heard.
Luigi: Strange… If this is Princess Shroob’s lair… then where is Princess Shroob-
The entire room they were in shudders.
Luigi: What was that?!
Stuffwell pops up.
Stuffwell: I believe Princess Shroob is attacking the outside of this room in her mothership!
Luigi: How did you know… Oh forget it. What can we do to stop her?!
Stuffwell: If you head up those stairs on the left side of this room it may take you to a spare ship which you can use to shoot down the mothership!
Luigi: What kind of equipment are you… equipped with?
Stuffwell: The ability to read.
Luigi: What?
He turns and looks at the stairs. On the side it has a sign saying “Go up to find spare saucer.”
Luigi: Oh.
Mario: Woohoo!
Mario dashes up the stairs and Luigi is right behind him. Soon they reach a control room similar to the one they used before to attack the other saucers. A large screen is above the controls this time and they can see the Shroob Mothership, surrounded by Shroob Saucers as it continuously shoots down purple waves.
Luigi: This is going to be tough… HEY!
Mario hit several different keys. The spare ship they are in didn’t rise but it does shoot off several energy blasts. These hit the surrounding Saucers… and they all crash into the mothership.
Luigi: Uh… Wow…
The ship stops firing temporarily… but when it starts again it is shooting at the spare ship!
Luigi: ACK! Do something!
Baby Mario: Eee!
Baby Luigi: Oohoo!
Baby Luigi jumps down and slams his hammer on the control panel. The ship they are on starts to sputter as its propulsion systems fire off.
Luigi: I think we should get off!
Mario: Okeydokey!
The Mario Bros. jump back onto the stairs as the ship they were in flies off… and crashes into the already weakened mothership. It spirals out of control and slams into the side of the castle. When the Mario Bros. get to the bottom of the stairs they can see that half of the mothership is inside…it smashed through the right-hand wall… Hey, I knew something would go there! Anyways, the crash short circuited the energy field and Princess Peach is free.
Princess Peach: Yay! Mario rescued me!
Luigi: Hey! I helped!
Princess Peach: You shut up.
Luigi: Jerk… Well… no purple Mushroom attached to you, so I guess you’re the real deal.
Princess Peach: Uh… okay.
Luigi: Yeah, it is a long story. We got five of the six pieces of the Cobalt Star… so-
Princess Peach: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Luigi: What?
Princess Peach: Rather than telling you why that’s bad I’ll just moan and then wait for something distracting to happen!
Luigi: What?!
Princess Peach: MOAN!
A ramp extends from the mothership.
Luigi: I have a bad feeling about- AGH!
Mario drags Luigi over to the ramp. They peer inside…
Princess Shroob: *^*^(%*$%^%*&*%^^*%^!
Luigi: ACK!
Mario and Luigi jump back as Princess Shroob flies out on some kind of hi-tech throne chair… thing. She makes angry gestures and says things in that unintelligible language Shroobs use. Stuffwell pops up.
Stuffwell: Uh-hem! Allow me to translate…She is saying that she doesn’t like you four in the least and that she will cause you extreme discomfort and possibly pain before annihilating you from the face of this planet and multiple other ones.
Luigi: Uh… right.
Princess Shroob: ^&*^*^!
Stuffwell: She also says I am incredibly attractive… for a suitcase.
Princess Shroob glares at Stuffwell before shooting a purple energy blast at him from her hand.
Stuffwell: ACK! I escape!
Stuffwell disappears. A shimmering red force field forms around Princess Shroob’s throne.
Luigi: I guess we have to fight. *sigh* I just want all these adventures to be OVER!
Princess Shroob gives one last resounding creepy alien cackle… and then she attacks! Two ray guns extend down and fire before the Bros. can do anything… However, they are pointing the wrong way and completely miss.
Luigi: That’s Shroob technology for you.
Princess Shroob says the Shroob equivalent of “Shut up!” which is something involving one’s hamster and a jar of chocolate mustard. Don’t ask. She then hits a switch and her floating throne develops four large, metallic spider-like legs which carry it high into the air. It stomps over to the Bros. and tries to skewer them with its legs. Luigi and Mario roll away, and then Mario throws Baby Mario at the orincess. The force field prevents the attack from causing any damage… but it does turn a darker red and becomes slightly less transparent. In anger the Shroob Princess fires off several circular beams, one of which hits the ground around Luigi and shrinks in on itself, causing him to trip.
Luigi: That’s it? Tripping beams?
Mario slams a leg with his hammer, causing the unwieldy thronewalker to come crashing down. The force field prevents any damage to the princess but it DOES become even darker. The throne starts floating again. Princess Shroob then tries to ram Mario, but he jumps over the predictable attack and comes slamming down on the top of the field. Now completely, red it is impossible to see into… or out of. Unable to see, the princess crashes into a wall, shattering the field. Her throne now useless, she jumps out of it.
Luigi: Do you surrender?
Stuffwell pops up again.
Stuffwell: No she doesn’t!
Luigi: I thought you were escaping?
Stuffwell: I decided to unescape!
Luigi: Right.
Stuffwell: Princess Shroob has 3,000 Health Points!
Luigi: What?
Stuffwell: It’ll take a lot of attacks to bring her down!
Luigi: What do you mean “Health Points”?
Princess Shroob suddenly shoots off a large quantity of purple energy blasts. Luigi dodges while Mario bats the ones aimed at him back. Princess Shroob becomes quite upset and summons a purple star. She fling it and it orbits the Bros, getting faster and faster… but not doing anything.
Luigi: What was the point of this attack?
Suddenly the star slams into the ground… and disappears. Princess Shroob now seems slightly furious.
Luigi: You know, I think she is getting desperate.
Princess Shroob suddenly teleports above Luigi and shoots a purple ball at him. He is hit but as it wi a weak attack he is cool. Well… maybe not cool… but okay. Princess Shroob then teleports again… but misjudged and teleports halfway into the floor.
Luigi: Wow… that’s really embarrassing.
Princess Shroob furociously growls and tries to shoot an energy wave but her hands are stuck in the floor. Mario walks over to her and hits her in the head with his hammer. She pops out of the floor, defying multiple laws of physics, and appears to be unconscious.
Luigi: Yet another anticlimactic battle…
Princess Peach runs over to the victorious Mario.
Princess Peach: Yay! You won! Now we must make sure not to refuse the Cobalt Star using this!
She pulls out the final, middle piece of the Cobalt Star. It is a bluish white and star shaped.
Luigi: If you don’t want us to use it… why did you just take it out?
Princess Peach: Mario is better looking than you!
Luigi: That doesn’t answer my… HEY!
Suddenly Baby Bowser jumps out of the mothership.
Baby Bowser: Gwa ha ha! I shall combine the pieces of the Star!
Luigi: Where’d you come from?
Baby Bowser: The mothership… DUH! Didn’t you see me jump out of there?
Luigi: But how’d you sneak on?!
Baby Bowser: They fell for this “I’m not here… you can’t see me!”
Luigi: You’re kidding.
Baby Bowser: Nope! Isn’t that- HEY!
He rolls just as Mario tries to jump on him.
Baby Bowser: Jerk! At least let me finish monologing! Fine! I shall combine the Cobalt Star!
During all this the mostly formed Cobalt Star appears and is floating around. Baby Bowser jumps forward and snatches the piece, which he then throws at the Star, causing it to be enveloped in light!
Luigi: And why… exactly did you do that?!
Baby Bowser: Plot Device!
Luigi: Of course.
Baby Bowser: Gwa ha-AAAAHHHHH!
The shining Cobalt Star blasted Baby Bowser with a lightning bolt… turning him into a purple Mushroom?!
Luigi: Huh?
Princess Peach: Oh nooo!
Princess Shroob awakens temporarily and crawls over to the Bros.
Princess Shroob: *^^^&&)*)*…
Stuffwell: She says… I leave it to you… female sibling who is related to my parents and thus is perhaps related to me… ACK!
After blasting Stuffwell with an energy blast, she explodes into pretty, pink dust.
Princess Peach: What did he say?
Luigi: I think he said that she said that the Star is her sister.
Princess Peach: Oh. I could have told you that.
Luigi: WHAT?!
Princess Peach: Yes! When I time traveled here, there were TWO Shroob princesses! I managed to trap the ugly one in the Cobalt Star and send its shards all over the place, but the second one tricked me by pretending to give me a new dress and I was captured!
Luigi: Wow… That is highly insane AND unlikely.
Princess Peach: Well too bad! It still happened!
The Star finishes glowing and suddenly turns into a massive, oversized Shroob in princess garb. However, this one towers over the Bros.
Elder Princess Shroob: You killed my annoying, weak sister who bugged me continuously and was a girly-girl who I hated with every fiber of my very being… and for that YOU MUST DIE!
Luigi: How come you can speak English?
Elder Princess Shroob: Uh… That’s not important! FIGHT ME!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Princess Peach: I’m going to go behind this convenient chair that wasn’t there before and occasionally throw stars that somehow appear in my hand at the Elder Princess Shroob in order to cause some minor assistance to your obviously humongously overlydramatic final battle.
Luigi: Uh… Okay…
Princess Peach dashes behind a large chair that just appeared.
Elder Princess Shroob: Uh… Are we gonna fight or just repeatedly defy logic?
Luigi: You're one to talk, you were recently inside a mystical star!
Elder Princess Shroob: SILENCE! Shroob Saucers… COME FORTH!
She raises her hands and several Shroob Saucers fall from the ceiling.
Luigi: You know I’m getting really sick of things falling from the ceiling…
Elder Princess Shroob: Ha! You won’t be able to survive this… My attacks are numerous! Without the Saucers all I can do is drink healing fluids and shoulder ram people, but WITH them! Well… let’s just say it is UNBELIEVABLE! EEEEEEGAHIAHFHBUB!
Luigi: What was that?!
Elder Princess Shroob: Uh… My laugh.
Princess Peach: Ha!
Princess Peach throws an orange star that somehow appeared in her hand. It flies up and smashes all the Saucers, as they are all in a straight line. Peach gets an extra life! I mean… yeah…
Elder Princess Shroob: No! My Saucers!
Luigi: Does this mean we win?
Mario: Woohoo!
Elder Princess Shroob: No… It just means I’ll have to unleash my FINAL FORM a little bit earlier than expected. Shroob Crown Magic/technology… ACTIVATE!
Using her large, claw-like hands, she grabs both sides of the crown she is wearing. It gives off a brilliant burst of light that temporarily blinded the four Brothers. When their vision returns they are confronted with a monstrosity. Elder Princess Shroob has become some kind of evil monster creature! She is now even bigger and is at least twice her previous height. However, she also seems to have become quite thicker and her legs have been replaced by numerous tentacles. Four similar tentacles stick out where her arms would be.
Mario: Mamamia!
Luigi: You said it!
Elder Princess Shroob: HA! My supreme form shall annihilate you! Energy… BLAST!
She starts shooting green and red energy balls together a few feet above her oversized head. Soon a massive purple ball is formed. She is just about to release the floating sphere when…
Luigi: Why is nothing there?
Elder Princess Shroob: Huh?
She looks up. Upon doing so she loses her concentration and the massive energy ball falls on her. It explodes and she suffers incredible amounts of damage.
Luigi: Wow… I can’t believe you fell for that!
Elder Princess Shroob: Silence! Tentacle Strike!
She starts whipping her pointy tentacles at the Bros. Mario hammers one, while Luigi dodges. Baby Mario just holds tight to Mario. A tentacle tries snaking around Luigi’s neck from behind but Baby Luigi bites it. Immediately the attack stops.
Elder Princess Shroob: You humans are ferocious fighters… and really cheap… I mean, come on… biting?! Seriously.
Luigi: Hello?
Elder Princess Shroob: Oh… yeah. Fight to the death and all. Fine! Give me several minutes to come up with a new attack!
Luigi: Sure.
Stuffwell pops up.
Stuffwell: Hi!
Luigi: What are you… wait… Stuffwell, are you, like, equipped with some kind of weaponry?
Stuffwell: Of course not! I am a suitcase, not a fighter! Although E. Gadd DID equip me with something called… ”Self-Destruct”… What does that mean?
Luigi: Really? All right… I want you to self-destruct as soon as you hit the princess.
Stuffwell: Why?
Luigi: Because, uh… she likes you?
Stuffwell: Sounds good to me! By the way… What do you mean… HIT the- AGH!
Luigi tosses Stuffwell at the muttering Elder Princess Shroob.
Elder Princess Shroob: So… maybe a tentacle… No, they’re expecting that… What?
She sees the flying suitcase right as it hits her… and explodes! Stuffwell is obliterated and the Elder Princess Shroob is reduced to a purple Mushroom like so many have been turned into.
Luigi: Yes! Two birds with one stone! Who would have thought that Stuffwell would have been useful for something?
Mario and Princess Peach are in shock because Luigi successfully defeated the all powerful (albeit stupid) Elder Princess Shroob… plus he took out Stuffwell, major points for that!
Princess Peach: Uh… Let’s go into the Time Hole that is conveniently placed over here.
A Time Hole appears next to the convenient chair.
Luigi: Wow… Let’s go!
Unbeknownst to Luigi, while he was celebrating about defeating Elder Princess Shroob, Baby Luigi pocketed the Mushroom she became. Luigi grabs him and the four Bros. go back into the Time Hole. They soon arrive in the castle courtyard, where all of the Toads are running around giggling guiltily. Luigi corners two of them
Toad: He…he… We’re so guilty!
Luigi: What? What happened?
Toad 2: Well Bowser fell through the castle roof and is lying unconscious in the throne room!
Luigi: How’d that happen?
Toad: He must have fallen through the Time Hole!
Luigi: But that doesn’t make any… Oh, who cares? Why are you giggling?
Toad 2: Because we drew a mustache on his face!
Luigi: … Okay…
Princess Peach: Come on! Let’s all draw funny things on him!
Mario follows Peach, and after a bit Luigi reluctantly follows as well. They see an unconscious Bowser with a goofy, pink (yes, pink) mustache on his face. After a bit of laughing the four Mario Bros. walk up to Bowser and poke him, proving that they are indeed related. The purple Mushroom remnant of Elder Princess Shroob that Baby Luigi took because he thought it might taste good floats out of his pocket… and over to Bowser’s mouth. He wakes up and, like all people when they just wake up after falling several years into the present, eats the object in front of him. Immediately a wave of energy pushes the Bros. back, as Bowser becomes aglow with power. He become… Shrowser!
Shrowser: Woah! The unbelievable power! With this… I shall conquer the world… but not before squishing you Mario Bros!
Luigi: Great. Just when we thought it was over.
Suddenly Shrowser exudes purple smoke. It takes form above him as the spirit of Elder Princess Shroob. Shrowser takes a look at it.
Shrowser: Huh? What’s that?
Elder Princess Shroob: Kill the Mario Bros!
Shrowser: You must have more power! DIE!
Shrowser shoots off several super-powered fireballs at Elder Princess Shroob.
Elder Princess Shroob: No! You fool! AAAAHHHH!
She explodes.
Shrowser: Now I will have all the- Huh?
He explodes as well. The battered Bowser flies through the hole and crashlands in his castle, much to the chagrin of the Goombas he lands on.
Luigi: Is it over?
Professor E. Gadd runs up.
E. Gadd: I believe so… Now where is my suitcase?
Luigi: It uh… self-destructed?
E. Gadd: Strange… I never equipped it with a self-destruct ability.
Luigi: You didn’t?
E. Gadd: Nope! Let’s party!
Luigi: Huh?!
And so Luigi is dragged into yet another one of Peach’s mindless celebrations.
The Baby Marios, Youthful Toadsworth, and Baby Peach all leave through a Time Hole, which promptly and conveniently disappears, as do all the rest. Youthful Toadsworth tries to say goodbye but Toadsworth finds a shiny coin on the ground and ignores his younger self.
Upon arriving in the past rebuilt Princess Peach’s Castle, the Baby Mario Bros. run into Elvin Gadd, who is there to demonstrate his new machine… the Brain Switcher! It only works once and then explodes. But considering the people they tested it on were babies, no one cares. Who will notice the difference between Baby Mario now acting like Baby Luigi and vice versa?
Luigi is prepared to relax after his logic-defying adventure but Mario will have none of it. He plans, if Mario DOES plan, on going on another adventure following the celebration… and he is bringing Luigi.
Bowser is properly shamed after serving a useless side role in this adventure and then being possessed… sort of… by yet ANOTHER female entity. At least the Shadow Queen didn’t get him… now THAT would be embarrassing.
And so ends yet another mindless adventure… What will happen next?!
The Very End. Seriously
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