Mini Chapter 1:
The Road to Zelda Castle
Last time, our
heroes defeated the giant insect, Ghoma. And Luigi grew a tentacle. The
group walked across a bridge leading to another area.
Luigi: Ack! This thing is trying to suck my blood!
Navi: Too bad. Cause I don't care.
???: Link?
They turn around to see a girl with green hair, green clothes, and green shoes.
Luigi: Who are you?
???: ... How can you not remember my name, Link?! It's Saria!
Luigi: Link?
Saria: Oh, Link! You're so funny!
Saria hugs Luigi.
Luigi: Can't... BREATHE!!!
Tentacle: Hey, lady! It's my job to choke people!
Random Person who Popped out of Nowhere: Oh meh gosh! It talk!
*smack*
Saria: Ow! Hey!
*smack* *smack* *SMACK!!!*
Saria: Owwwwwwhhhhhhhhh...
*poke*
Saria: AHH!
She dies. An ocarina falls out of her pocket.
Navi: Hey look! It's a ocarina!
Luigi: Hmmm... It may become useful, so we'll keep it.
Navi: Okay!
You got the-
Narrator: Wait! Mario, you haven't said anything yet! So say something!
Mario: ...
Narrator: Well?!
Mario: ... ZzzzZZzZZzZZzzzZZZzzZzz...
Narrator: Argg!!! Mario, WAKE UP!!!
Mario: ZzzZZz...
Narrator: Ay...
Mario: Huh?! What-a?
Narrator: Huh? Oh! Mario! Pay attention!
Mario: Okey-dokey!
Narrator: Okay! Moving on!
You got the Fairy Ocarina! This is a yellow ocarina. And... that's it. But a girl's spit's been on it. O-o
Luigi: Well, let's continue.
They continue across the bridge, run around Hyrule Field, and make it to Hyrule Castle.
Luigi: We're here.
Navi: But look at all the guards.
Mario: Yay!
Mario starts killing the guards.
Luigi: Guard problem fixed. Now let's go.
Mario killed all the guards in a single hit. When they make it to the main chamber...
Navi: ... Zelda?
Zelda turns around.
Zelda: *beep!* H-e-l-l-o. I a-m Z-e-l-d-a, a-n-d c-l-e-a-r-l-y n-o-t a r-o-b-o-t.
Navi: Hey Zelda, your skin is... a little gray. Are you okay?
Zelda: I a-m f-i-n-e. D-o n-o-t w-o-r-r-y.
Luigi: Okay... Well, can you fix my arm?
Zelda: S-o-r-r-y, n-o. B-u-t I k-n-o-w w-h-o c-a-n.
Luigi: Ya do?! Who?
Zelda: H-e-r-e i-s t-h-e a-d-r-e *Bzzt* a-d-r *Bzzt* a-d *BZZZZZZT!!!*
"Zelda's" head explodes.
Navi: Wait a minute... She's a robot!
Luigi: Awwww... And just when I thought I could get rid of this tentacle for good.
Tentacle: Hey! I Am one of your body parts now! You should treat me with respect!
Luigi: Whatever.
???: Hey! Who are you?! And what did you do to Zelda?!
They turn around to see a woman in blue, armor-like clothing.
Luigi: We didn't do anything to Zelda! And who are you?
???: My name is Impa, and I still don't trust you!
Luigi: But we really didn't do anything!
Impa: Suuuuuuuuure you didn't.
Luigi: Oh yeah? Well- Hey! What's that in the sky?
Navi: It's a bird!
Luigi: It's a plane!
Mario: It's Superman!
Impa: No, you idiot! It's Ganondorf!
In the sky is a dwarf dude wearing nothing but black.
Ganondorf: Bwahahahahahahahahahah! You'll never see the princess again! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *hack* *hack* I need a cough drop! Cough drop!
Navi: ...
Impa: ...
Luigi: Dang, he's ugly.
Impa: He sure is.
Luigi: So what do I do about my arm?
Impa: I'll take care of that later. Right now, I'll teach you a song on your ocarina for no reason whatsoever.
Luigi: Hey, how did you know we had an ocarina?
Impa: Uhhhhh... I guessed?
Navi: Good enough for me!
Luigi: Ditto.
Impa: Soooooooo, let me teach you the song.
Impa takes out an ocarina of her own.
Impa: Now, it goes like this.
She starts playing the ocarina.
Impa: Now you try.
Luigi: Yaaaaa... We don't need some little song to save the world.
Mario: Yay!
Luigi: So we'll just be on our way!
The group leave Hyrule Castle, killing multiple guards along the way.
Impa: ... We're doomed.
Meanwhile, back at Mario and Luigi's house...
Yoshi: Mario and Luigi gone for long time. Yoshi worried.
Peach: Well, why don't you go look for them?
Yoshi: Yoshi no go alone! Peach come too!
Peach: I can't. I'm too busy making a cake for Mario.
Yoshi starts tapping his foot and crossing his arms.
Peach: Aw, fine. But what about Mr. Puffles?
She points to a cage in the corner. Inside is a deranged, red Koopa.
Peach: Who's a cute little Puffle?
Koopa: RAWRRAWRARWRARWRARWRAWRRAW!!!
Peach: That's right!
Yoshi: Koopa be fine. He chained to wall. And if he escape, he locked in house. And if he does escape to town, we tell police that he isn't our Koopa. Now we go.
Yoshi and Peach head for the door, when they are sucked into the same portal Mario and Luigi used to get to Hyrule.
Yoshi: Ooooh... Yoshi head hurt. Where is Yoshi, anyway? Peach, you know? Peach?
Yoshi looks around, but Peach has disappeared.
Yoshi: Yoshi confused.
???: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You're just the cutest thing!
Yoshi: Wah?
Yoshi turns around, and there is a girl with red hair.
???: Are you a horsie?
Yoshi: Uhhh... Technically.
???: Oh horsie! Hi! My name is Malon! Do you want to come home with me?
Yoshi: Which is where...?
Malon: Lon Lon Ranch! It'll be great!
Yoshi: Well, that good and all but-
Malon: Great! Let's go!
Yoshi: *sigh*
Back to the main story...
Mario: Are we-a there yet?
Luigi: No.
Mario: Are we-a there yet?
Navi: No!
Mario: ... Are we-a there yet?
Tentacle: If you don't shut up, I'm going to rip your head off!
Mario: Okeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!
Luigi: So, Navi, where do we go now?
Navi: Well, we first gotta get the two other Spiritual Stones.
Luigi: Like the one that funky tree gave us?
Navi: Yup. We need all three stones, take them to the Temple of Time, and la la, the world is saved.
Luigi: What Temple of Time?
Navi: Oh yes. That is where the great power is held.
Luigi: What great power?
Navi: I'm not telling.
Luigi: Why not?
Navi: It'll ruin the suspense.
Luigi: Nobody cares about suspense!
Narrator: Yes they do. Now get on with the story.
Luigi: Fine. So now we've got to go to the Temple?
Navi: That's the idea. But we're going to have to go through the Market.
Mario: Shopping!!!
Luigi: Mario! We don't have time for shopping!
Mario is seen running toward the castle.
Navi: Eh. Might as well do some shopping.
Luigi: Oh... Okay...
Mall music starts playing and Mario, Luigi, Navi are buying random stuff they won't need in the future.
Next time, the group visit the Temple of Time, but... is that Fox? And, they head off to the next area. Luigi still has a tentacle. So, where's Peach now? And Yoshi? Oh yeah. She's with the crazy girl. So what will happen next? Find out in the next chapter of The Legend of Mario and Luigi: Ocarina of Time.
To Be Continued...
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