Chapter 1: Into the Weirdo Tree
It was a typical day at Mario and Luigi's house. Mario was watching TV, Luigi was working on a 2,000-piece puzzle, Peach was trying to "cook", and Yoshi was eating melons.
Luigi: Hey Mario, I think I'm missing one of my pieces.
Mario: So-a?
Luigi: So how can I finish my puzzle without all the pieces?
Mario: Hmmm... I-a know!
Mario cut out a puzzle piece shape and scribbled on it.
Luigi: (sarcastically) Wow. Thanks.
Mario: No-a problem!
Meanwhile in the Kokori Forest...
Deku Tree: Now Navi, go to the guy with the GREEN clothes. Got it? GREEN.
Navi: But everyone wears green here. Plus I'm color blind for the colors green and red.
Deku Tree: But you brought back a dolphin!
Dolphin: Eheeheeheeheeheehee!
Navi: All right! Can I at least have directions?
Deku Tree: *sigh* It's just a few yards away.
Navi: Okay, sir! I won't disappoint you!
Navi flew away and bumped into a tree.
Navi: Ow! What did the Deku Tree say to go? A few thousand miles? Yeah! That's it!
Navi flew a few thousand miles in ten minutes and was now on Plit.
Navi: This must be it!
Navi crashed into the door, thinking there wasn't a door there.
Luigi: What was that?
Mario: I-a wanna get the door-a!
Mario opened the door to find Navi on the ground.
Mario: Luigi! Look-a! It's a fairy-a!
Navi: Huh? Oh hi! I'm Navi and I need you to come with me!
Mario: Why-a?
Navi: Because we need to save the world!
Luigi: Well all right. Another day of saving the world.
Navi: Great! Let's go to Hyrule!
Mario and Luigi: Hyru-
Navi teleported them to the Deku Tree.
Navi: I'm back, Deku Tree!
Deku Tree: You got the wrong person again!
Navi: Well at least they're humans!
Deku Tree: Good point. They'll have to do.
Mario: Woohoo! What-a do we do-a?
Deku Tree: For many years there was an evil king trying to take control of our land. His name is Ganondorf. He is-- Hey are you listening to me?!
Mario: Look Luigi! These blue-a plants are just-a like Piranha Plants-a!
Deku Tree: What's the point? Just enter me and destroy the evil creature inside.
Mario: Okey dokey!
Deku Tree: Navi, go with them. Now enter my mouth already!
Navi: Okay!
Mario, Luigi, and Navi entered the Deku Tree's mouth.
Mario: Look-a! There's blue plants-a in here too!
Navi: It's a Deku Baba, stupid. Attack it with your sword!
Mario: Sword-a?
Navi: You don't have a sword?
Luigi: We got wooden swords.
Navi: I guess it's better than nothing.
Deku Baba: Hahahahahahahahahha! Wooden? Bahahaha!
Mario bit the Deku Baba's head.
Deku Baba: Ahhh! Get off of me! You can take these swords! Just don't hurt me!
You obtained two Deku Swords! A sword used by enemies with the word "Deku" in their name. Though they never use it.
Mario: Woohoo!
Luigi: Where now?
Navi: Well I suggest we go up that ladder there and get the map.
Mario: Wheeee!
Mario was gone for two seconds and came back with the map.
Navi: Well, he can't get the compass yet.
Mario: Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Mario was gone for three seconds and came back with the compass.
Navi: X_x
Mario: Look-a at the spider web-a!
Navi: Oh, you can't open that without the-
Luigi: Don't tell him what it is. He'll go get it.
Navi: But it's easier!
Luigi: Yes, but it will make this story boring.
Navi: Oh. Well, there's a door up there with the item.
Mario: Wheee-
Luigi taped Marios mouth and stapled his feet to the ground.
Luigi: Me and you are getting that item.
Navi: Fine. It's in that door.
Luigi and Navi entered the door. Inside was a Deku Scrub.
Luigi: Where's the treasure chest? And what is that?
Navi: Deku Scrub.
Luigi: Well how do I be-
*donk*
The Duku Scrub threw a deku nut at Luigi's head and it bounced back at the Deku Scrub.
DS (Deku Scrub): Hey, what's the big idea?!
Luigi: Oggawah?
DS: ...
Navi: Just tell us information.
DS: Fine, uhhh... How about this? There is a weapon in the next room.
Navi: But we knew that already!
DS: Too bad. I gave you information, so take it and leave me alone!
The Deku Scrub left.
Luigi: Hoodeewa? Uhhg... I'm okay. Let's go!
In the next room were platforms to the chest and a ladder above the entrance. Luigi and Navi went across the platforms to the chest and opened it. Inside was...
Luigi: A slingshot?
Navi: Yes. You'll need it. Now hit that ladder with it so we can get out.
Luigi: Can't we just hop across the platforms again?
Navi: Uhhh... Yes! I knew that.
Luigi and Navi went out and back the main room. Mario was gone and the room was on fire.
Luigi: Mario!
Mario: Yes?
Luigi: What in the world did you do?
Mario: I was-a using my fireball-a because the blue plant-a was annoying me and I-a tried to hit it-a but I missed and then the tree-a helped-a me by-a making fire!
Luigi and Navi: O_o
Mario: Down the hatch! Wheee!
Mario jumped in the hole that wasn't blocked by a spider web anymore.
Luigi: It's our best choice. Bombs away!
Luigi jumped in too. Navi just flew down.
Navi: Does anyone else realize this room is on fire too?
Mario: I'm a little teapot, short and stout!
Navi: I guess not.
Luigi: Well where do we go? There's fire all around us, and that door is covered by a spider web.
The fire burned down the spider web along with door. There was a Deku Scrub in the next room.
DS: Hey! Can't anyone get some peace around here?
Navi: We'll leave you alone if you tell us some info.
DS: 312.
Navi: Huh?
DS: 312! That's your info! Now go away!
The Scrub left.
Mario: Eyeball!
Luigi: There's an eyball above that chained door.
Mario: Fireball!
Mario fireballed the eye.
Eye: Eeeeeeeee! My boss told me you were gonna use a slingshot!
Luigi: Too bad.
The eye couldn't resist and closed itself. The chains on the door disappeared. Mario, Luigi, and Navi went inside. Inside the room was a moving platform above water being blocked by a log with spikes. And (unfortunately) that room was on fire too.
Luigi: Oh for the love of... Mario! How long does your fire last?!
Mario was on the other side.
Luigi: How did he do that?
Navi: Don't know, don't care. You can go through the spikes by swimming through it.
Luigi: What!?! *sigh* Here goes nothing.
Luigi jumped in the water and got A LOT of scratches. He made it to the other side.
Luigi: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Mario: Let's-a go!
The group went into the next room. In it was two tunnels covered by webs.
Luigi: Fire-
Mario: Fireball!
Mario burnt down the spider webs.
Luigi: What was the point of doing that?
They went into the tunnel and made it back to the room where they'd melted the door, but were now on a different platform. It had a hole covered by a spider web.
Luigi: Well Mario, do your thing.
Mario: ...
Ten minutes later...
Luigi: Mario!
Mario: Yes?
Luigi: Forget it. Fire-
Mario: Fireball!
Luigi: >: (
The group went into the hole. In it were three Deku Scrubs.
DS1: You will-
DS2: Never guess our-
DS3: Secret code!
Mario: Heeeeeee! 312!
Mario fireballed Scrub 3, then Scrub 1, and then Scrub 2.
DS2: Nooooooooo! You figured it out!
Navi: 312! Duh! It was the code!
DS2: We're sorry, Queen!
The Scrubs disappeared.
Luigi: I guess the boss is in there.
Mario: Ooh! Ooh! Oooooooh!
Mario ran into the room. Luigi and Navi followed.
Mario: There's an eye-a on the ceiling! Hi, Mr. Eye!
Luigi: Oh... my... god.
Weird voice from nowhere: Parasitic Armored Arachnid GHOMA
Mario: Let's-a go!
Ghoma: Craaaaaaaaaaaa!
Luigi: She doesn't seem much of a threat.
Ghoma: Craaaaaccccc! Crooooaaaaacccccc!!!
Ghoma shot gooey stuff a Luigi.
Luigi: I spoke too soon. Hey wait! What is this stuff?
Navi: I'd rather not say.
Luigi: But why no- OH MY GOSH!!!
Luigi's left arm had become a tentacle.
Luigi: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
Mario: Ooooh! You have a tentacle!
Luigi: *sob* Why?!
Ghoma: Cracracracracra! Cracercaaaaaaaaaaa!
Luigi: Hey! Bad tentacle! No!
Tentacle: Hiss!
The tentacle was squeezing Ghoma like a snake and its prey.
Ghoma: Craaaa! *wheeze, wheeze* Heeck! Harcaaaaaaaaa! *wheeze*
Ghoma was ckoked to death.
Navi and Luigi: o_0
Mario: Can we keep him?
Luigi: *sigh* All right.
Tentacle: Reeeewooo!
Luigi: ...
Mario: :D
Navi: Can we go now?
Mario: Wheee!
Mario got the heart and dragged Luigi to the blue light. They were in front of the Deku Tree. But, he was on fire.
Deku Tree: Gah! What did you do?
Luigi: It was Mario. He used a fireball.
Deku Tree: &%@#%!!!
Navi: Deku Tree! Don't speak such language!
Deku Tree: *sigh* Let me just tell you more info. Ganondorf is trying to steal the Triforce. The Triforce are triangle things and they give power and stuff like that. Ow! Hot!
Luigi: Okay. What now?
Deku Tree: Talk to Navi about that. According to this script, I'm supposed to die. So here's your Kokori Emerald. Goodbye everyone!
The Deku Tree turned black and died.
Luigi: So where do we go, Navi?
Navi: We get the next Spiritual Stone!
Luigi: Okay! Ummm... Where is the next stone?
Navi: I think It's at Death Mountain. But first we have to go the Princess Zelda!
Mario: Let's-a go!
Next time, Mario and Luigi meet the Princess Zelda, but there's something wrong. Plus, what ever happened to Peach and Yoshi? And what became of Luigi Tentacle? Find out next time in The Legend of Mario and Luigi: Ocarina of Time!
To Be Continued...
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