Author: Well it’s time for the list again... Ah forget it! Nothing’s changed again!
Shadow Mario: What about that one guy named Flame Shadow who gave you a motivational speech in his feedback on why you should continue writing this thing?
Author: I guess he counts...
Yux: But he didn’t put a yes in the Little Lemmy’s Land box.
Author: ...
Chapter 6: The last chapter... I’ve been waiting so long to do this
He pulls out a microphone and a bandana.
Chapter 6: (singing) It’s the final countdown!
Music starts to play as the camera slowly blacks out... Shadow Mario can be seen being escorted by two guards to his cell.
Shadow Mario: So... how’s life treating you?
Guard #1: Fine until I found out a grenade destroyed my hometown of Rose Town and killed my innkeeper wife and my mentally retarded son.
Shadow Mario: *gulp* Um... What about you?
Guard #2: Also fine until a warzone broke out at Marrymore and killed my soon to be wife.
Shadow Mario: *double gulp* ... And you?
Guard #3: Oh, my life is just great!
Shadow Mario: Phew!
Guard #4: Excuse me, Guard #3?
Guard #3: Yes?
Guard #4: I’m sorry, but a random fire has burnt down Nimbus Land. Your family is dead.
Guard #3: *gasp!*
Shadow Mario: (panicking) Um, so... Hey, who’s that guy?!
Guard #1: Oh, him? We picked this guy up about a year back, can’t remember why though.
Chancellor: You made a grave mistake in choosing to imprison me.
Guard #2: Why do you say that?
Chancellor: Because... NINJAS KICK PIRATES’ BUTT!
Guard #2: Huh?
The Chancellor disappears, reappears to cut the guard into ribbons, then jumps out the window to freedom.
Guard #3: What the @#$% just happened?
Shadow Mario: I don’t really know, but it seems to happen a lot to me.
Guard #3: ... Right.
Shadow Mario is thrown into the cell.
Shadow Mario: ... Meh, it could be worse.
He turns around and sees Wario and Daisy glaring at him.
Shadow Mario: Don't look at me like it's my fault.
Daisy and Wario: IT IS YOUR FAULT!!!
Shadow Mario: Silence, fatties!
Daisy twitches, then lunges at Shadow Mario. He quickly enters the pause menu, and switches Daisy out for Yux. Yux continues flying, and impales Shadow Mario.
Shadow Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
He continues screaming as he pulls Yux out. He instantly stops yelling.
Shadow Mario: That'll hurt in the morning. Now, Yux! Use your only redeeming feature!
Yux: The randomizer?
Shadow Mario: (sarcastically) No, your amazing singing skills.
Yux: Ok! (singing) We’re not going to take it! NO! We ain’t going to take it. We’re not going to take it... anymore!
Shadow Mario slaps him.
Yux: Ow. Fine. One Joshua-suggested randomize, which I’m afraid to do because of Dark Koopa’s resent revival, coming up. RANDOMIZE!
He glows, then stops.
Yux: Well, the good news is...
Shady's Interviewing Machine crashes through the cell wall and hits Yux.
Yux: Ow.
Shady: Take that, Random Boy!
Hammer Sis: I TOLD you to take that left turn at Alberquerque, but nooooooooooooo...
Intern shakes her fist at Shady.
Shady: Silence, slaves!
Slim: Hey! I’m only a slave to the music... and the demons in my head.
Yux: Looks like nothing’s changed in my absence. The bad news...
Everyone: Ohhh snap!
The party run away.
Blaze: So, we meet again.
???: Are you ready to do battle?
Blaze: Bring it.
Both charge at each other. ??? is revealed to be... PINK!!! OH SNAP! I'M OUTTA HERE!!!
Shady: Oh no, you're not!
... I hate you so much, Master. Blaze and Pink fight, and destroy a lot of really valuable stuff. They also kill millions of innocents. Hurrah death! Their fight destroys the prison, which is in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Shadow Mario: And now we run.
They push an elderly lady out of the way so they can get on the Lakitu Bus. The bus takes them to Bowser’s/Wario’s/Exor 2.0’s Keep.
Wario: Ahh... Home sweet keep.
Yux: Why did you buy this place anyways?
Wario: It has a great view.
Shadow Mario: Real reason.
Wario: It’s perfectly on the border between Dark Land and the Mushroom Kingdom. I can host my league of illegal gambling in the basement and the cops can’t do squat about it!
Yux: Does that really work?
Wario: No, but who cares? It sounds really cool on paper and that’s good enough for me!
Shadow Mario: Enough talking, more action!
They kick down the main gate and crush the same Koopatrol from the beginning of our retarded tale.
Koopatrol: Not again! WHY DO YOU HATE ME, DAD?!
Brainwashed Minions: Get them!
Wario: Just try it!
Brainwashed Minions: ...
Shadow Mario: It looks like they’re remembering something, fatty.
Brainwashed Minions: ... AHHH! It’s Wario! RUN AWAY OR HE’LL EAT YOU!!!
Wario: ...
Shadow Mario: Don’t act like it’s not true.
They run ahead to the room with 6 doors.
Croco: Hi guys!
Yux: Out of our way, random extra!
Croco: Random extra?! I’m the original stalker boss! Jr. Koopa and Crump ain’t got @#$% on me!
Shadow Mario: (fast) Yeah that’s nice bye.
They push him aside and enter the room.
Croco: *sniff* Why do you hate me, Author?! WHY?!
Author: Don’t take it personally. I hate everyone. *looks at mirror* @#$%!
Wario: Where the hotdogs are we? Mmmm... Hotdogs.
Voice: This is the room with six doors. You must now take on the challenges behind the doors and win fabulous prizes!
Yux: How will this help us move on to the next room?
Voice: Well, um, you see... SHUT UP! Pick a door or die a non-game-related death!
Shadow Mario: Fine. I will choose... lucky door number 7!
Yux: 7? Where’s door seven?
Shadow Mario pulls out a very big and very heavy bazooka from the very small bag. Don’t you love RPG logic?
Shadow Mario: Here’s your door seven.
He blows up a wall.
Magikoopa: (dieing) You... guys... are lame!
He dies.
Yux: And now we move on... DON’T EAT THE CORPSE, WARIO!
Wario: (crying) I just can’t help it!
Shadow Mario: Get the fire truck out of my sight!
Lemmy: And off my site!
Shadow Mario: You don’t even exist yet!
Lemmy: I don’t? I thought this FF was set in the future.
Shadow Mario: I thought it took place only a month after Mario saved the world in Super Mario RPG.
Yux: But the author said that this FF takes place a year after the first Shadow Paper Mario FF, which took place five years after Paper Mario TTYD.
Shadow Mario: So if Mario lived in the Paper Mario’s Mushroom kingdom in the first FF and he just now left this Mushroom Kingdom then that means we’re in the past, right?
Yux: But there were only GameCubes in the Shadow Paper Mario 1, and we talk about PS3s in Shadow Paper Mario 2, which is where we are.
Shadow Mario: So... When in the snap are we?!
Yux: It’s the mystery of life. Now away with you
He somehow throws Wario into the menu screen.
About thirty minutes earlier...
Daisy: I can’t believe he called me fat.
MB: ... *giggle* I think he might have a point.
Daisy: What?! Why?!
MB: All I’m saying is that you might want to change your appearance so that you look more athletic and powerful like the goddess you are! *giggle*
Daisy: You’re totally right, all powerful demon who’s trapped in a doll! How should I change my look?
MB: *giggle* I have just the thing!
She pulls out a beauty kit marked Next-Level Games.
Daisy: I’m starting to have second thoughts.
MB: Oh, don’t be such a baby. *giggle*
Daisy: I can’t even tell what most of this stuff does... *holds up a crystal fist) What’s this for?
MB: Underwhere if I know. *giggle*
Back to the present...
Wario: (returning to the menu screen) Fine! Kick me out of the party! See if I care.
Daisy (in her Mario Strikers Charged uniform): What are you doing standing around?! WE MUST WORK OUT SO I CAN SHOOT CRYSTALS FROM MY EYES!!!
Wario: AHHH!!!
Meanwhile...
MB: I’ve created a monster... *giggle* And it was pretty fun!
Shadow Mario: Good for you.
The team enter the last room, which is being guarded by a samurai.
Boomer: I must protect this room from you! I swear it on my honor!
Shadow Mario: Wow. You must be our first boss that wasn’t 2.0.
MB: *giggle* That must mean you’re low tech.
Boomer: I am not low tech! I am a Samurai!
Yux: And one of the last ones, I might add.
Boomer: I... I am?
Yux: Well... in this world.
Boomer: I have disgraced my family and my honor!
He carves a triangle into his body and dies.
Shadow Mario: Ok… then. What now?
The floor springs the group to the roof.
Exor 2.0: Intruders detected! Activating defensive attacks!
He pulls out 200 cannons.
Shadow Mario: THIS IS DEFENSIVE?!
Exor 2.0: Intruder has become a level 5 threat because it is very rude. Switching to Offensive mode.
A hole in the sky opens up and summons the Zeo Axem Ranger’s Megazord.
Zeo Axem Rangers: (while the Megazord grabs Exor the Seethe) Thought you got rid of us, huh?!
Yux: Please don’t make us morph again.
Shadow Mario: No, I have a better idea. Let’s turn Exor 2.0’s army against him!
Yux: (sarcastically) That makes perfect sense.
Everyone: Shut up, Yux!
Yux: ...
Shadow Mario: Ok, here’s the plan.
Shadow Mario whispers something to MB.
MB: ... *giggle* I guess it’s possible.
Shadow Mario: Great. Yux, help MB with the plan.
Shadow Mario pull out his paintbrush in a cool fashion.
Shadow Mario: I’ll hold them off.
Yux: If you die, can I have your stuff?
Shadow Mario: Let me think about that for a second- NO!
Yux: Aww...
Yux and MB leave.
Zeo Axem Rangers: That was awfully brave of you! Just how do you plan to stay alive long enough for this plan of yours to work?
Shadow Mario: Simple. I just stand here looking cool while you stupidly tell me your master plan. That’s what they do in just about ever anime known to man and monkey.
Zeo Axem Rangers: You’ve got to be kidding us! There is no way we’d be stupid enough to not attack you while telling you that Smithy 2.0 is planning to turn the world into a weapon’s paradise where...
MB: *giggle* We hacked into the keep’s speaker system like you wanted, Shadow Mario!
Zeo Axem Rangers: Darn it.
Exor 2.0: Verbal response system activated. You guys are morons. System cannot continue due to idiot overload. Attempt to correct the stupidity levels was unsuccessful because retards...
Zeo Axem Rangers: Ok, we get it! ... What’s that sound?
Musical and rhythmical clapping and stomping can be heard.
Yux: It’s working!
Shadow Mario pulls out a microphone.
Shadow Mario: Now for the finishing touches...
He jumps forward onto a platform.
Shadow Mario: (singing) Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day. You got mud on yo face, you big disgrace, kickin’ your can all over the place.
Shadow Mario’s crew: (also singing) We will we will ROCK YOU! We will we will ROCK YOU!
MB: *giggle*
Shadow Mario: (singing) Buddy you’re a young man hard man shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day! You got blood on yo face, you big disgrace, wavin’ you banner all over the place.
Shadow Mario’s crew and Exor’s former brainwashed minions: (singing loud and proud) We will we will ROCK YOU! We will we will ROCK YOU!
MB: *giggle*
Exor 2.0: Analyzing... We are @$%@#!
MB: (in a big, scary Mortal Kombat voice) Finish him! *giggle*
Shadow Mario: (singing) Buddy you’re an old man poor man pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day. You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back in your place!
Exor’s former brainwashed minions: (singing while sacrificing themselves to dismantling the Megazord) We will we will ROCK YOU! We will we will ROCK YOU!!!
Zeo Axem Rangers: AHHH!!! ... Why have we been talking simultaneously?
The Megazord and Exor 2.0 explode, and this sends the crew to Smithy 2.0’s victory... somehow.
Yux: I can’t believe that worked.
Shadow Mario: (singing) Don’t stop, believing!
MB aims a gun at him.
MB: Singing time over. *giggle*
Shadow Mario: Aww... Where are we anyways?
MB: *giggle* There’s nothing here but screws.
Shadow Mario: Forget the screws and get to the mini-boss already!
Count Down 2.0: Wooo. Slow down there, buddy.
Yux: Ok. I don’t know who’s to blame for this atrocity of a boss, the original game for creating the clock boss, or the author who turned him into a digital clock.
Shadow Mario: You know the drill. Shut up, Yux.
Yux: Then I’m out of here.
He floats over to Shadow Mario and uses a Mini-Yux to rip open the menu screen, drag Wario out, and then jump in.
Shadow Mario: Ow. That kinda hurt... Have you lost weight?
Wario: (as thin and Waluigi) It’s Daisy! She’s gone mad with exercising! She also has this weird crystal thing going on.
MB: *giggle* That’s the power of Next Level Games! They did it in Mario Strikers Charged and they’ll do it now!
Shadow Mario: You mean we now have a crazed maniac who will bite off people’s ears and can put Chuck Norris to shame?
MB: Yes... except for the Chuck Norris remark. That guy can kill demons like me with his tears. Thank DAD he never cries. *giggle*
Shadow Mario: ... What were we doing anyways?
Count Down 2.0: Dark Star attack!
A giant Dark Star hits Shadow Mario. 0 damage.
Shadow Mario: Oh, right, you.
Count Down 2.0: Why are my attacks still so weak?!
He cries, causing him to explode. Wario regains his fat by eating Booster’s leg.
Wario: So what’s next?
MB: *giggle* A Ninja warrior-ish obstacle course.
Wario: Of course.
Author: Look. The last dungeons in games like this is always long and boring. Let’s just skip to the next mini-boss.
Cloaker 2.0: Ok. So here’s the plan... Wait, how the @#% did they get here so fast?!
Shadow Mario: The author got bored and decided to skip the whole platforming thing.
Domino 2.0: But that’s not fair!
Shadow Mario: Life isn’t fair. Now let’s fight to the death already.
Domino 2.0: Not if I beat you to it!
He stabs himself.
Everyone: ...
Cloaker 2.0: I told him to go see a mechanic about that crossed wire, but nooooo. Well I guess I have to use my trump card!
MB: *giggle* You mean the big snake thing behind you?
Cloaker 2.0: ... Shut up.
He jumps into the giant snake mech.
Shadow Mario: *looks around* I don’t think anything’s going to stop me this time. Can I please mech fight him? *begs* Please?
Wario: *sigh* Fine.
Shadow Mario: Wasn’t asking you, fatty. Now... what kind of mech should I try? ... I’ve got it!
He pulls out a tiny drill.
Shadow Mario: Come to me, Lagann and Gurren!
Two small, headless robots burst from the ground and form together to make...
Shadow Mario: Gurren-Lagann! Now drill drive into Arc-Gurren!
Gurren-Lagann turns into a drill and combines with the huge spaceship Arc-Gurren. The combination of the two creates Arc-Gurren-Lagann!
Cloaker 2.0: OH SNAP! I JUST WET MYSELF!
MB: ... *giggle* Um, Shadow Mario? Like 99 percent of the people reading this right now have no idea what you just said.
Shadow Mario: What?! How could they not know about (this is actually the title) Tengen Toppa Guuren Lagann?! Next thing you’re going to tell me is that they don’t know what FLCL is.
Wario: What the Underwhere is an FLCL? Is it edible?
Shadow Mario: You people need to be smacked with a hammer! HARD! But first I have to blow up Cloaker 2.0’s robot.
Arc-Gurren-Lagann flicks its finger at the robot. Cloaker and the robot turn into dust.
MB: *giggle* Are you done now with the mechs?
Shadow Mario: I suppose.
He gets out of the big mech, which controls the even bigger mech. They run forward through the factory.
Mad Mallet: No running in the factory, please.
Shadow Mario melts him with his paintbrush.
Shadow Mario: We’re almost there!
???: WAAAAAAAAITTTTTT!!!
They all trip and fall to the ground.
Shadow Mario: Good thing I can float.
Wario: YOU CAN FLOAT?!
Shadow Mario: Yeah. I can even teleport.
MB: *giggle* WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THIS BEFORE, PUNNY MORTAL?!
Shadow Mario: I didn’t feel like it.
???: Hey! I’m talking right now!
A floating dustbuster floats forward.
Shadow Mario: It’s the ghost of my dirty house come back for revenge!!!
The ghost of Toad pops out of the buster.
Ghost Toad: I’m here to help!
Shadow Mario: Why?
Ghost Toad: Because I love this land and I will to sacrifice everything to protect it!
Shadow Mario: Um... no.
Ghost Toad: What?! But I’m a partner! You can’t say no to a partner!
Shadow Mario: Well obviously I just did. Now, back to your small containment unit Pocket Creature!
He sucks him back up into the dustbuster.
Wario: Did that scene have any point to it at all?
Shadow Mario: Nope, not at all.
Wario: Just like this FF.
MB: (in a big, scary voice) Silence, puny mortals! *giggle*
Shadow Mario paints an M on the ground and sends them to Smithy 2.0’s chamber.
Smithy 2.0: How did you get in here?!
Shadow Mario: Through the power of randomness!
Yux: Why didn’t you do that earlier?!
Shadow Mario: If I had done it earlier then this thing would have been a Scribble instead of a lousy FF!
Yux: Wait... How did I get out of the menu screen?
MB: *giggle* That must mean that this is a cutscene!
Wario: Oh no. Then that means...
Daisy (the size of a pro wrestler): IT’S GO TIME!!!
Smithy 2.0: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Daisy beats the @#$% out of him! DAD JR, I don’t think that can bend like that! Oh the robotic carnage!!! SHE BIT OFF HIS EAR!!! HOLY!!! WHY ISN’T THIS BEING CENCORED?!
Censoring Board: OH MY DAD!!!
Shadow Mario: She’s stabbing him in the eyes with a giant crystal!
Wario: (crying) Please make it stop!!
MB: I’m too afraid to giggle! ... *giggle* DARN IT!
Yux: And I thought seeing Shadow Mario in the morning was a traumatizing sight!
Smithy 2.0: Why don’t you just kill me and get it over with?!
Daisy: Because I don’t feel like it! Peach, you’re next!
The floor breaks open, sending everyone to the basement.
Daisy: Ow, my head... What was I doing... ? When did I get so ripped?
Smithy 2.0: So many questions, so little time. I can tell you what time it is, though. It’s time for you to die! True form activated!
His body reforms and changes shape.
Yux: Hopefully it will change to something a little bit less Santa Clausish.
Smithy 2.0: Fool! I am no longer the Santa Clause impersonator you knew before! I am... SMITHY 3.0! MAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Shadow Mario: Really original.
Smithy 3.0: Silence!
RPG Fight time!!!
Shadow Mario HP:
175
Yux HP: 123
Wario HP: 200
Daisy HP: 125
MB HP: ... Ah
who cares? They’re doomed anyways.
Vs.
Smithy 3.0 HP:
96976050760786574457786546869586484978... a lot. Is that good enough for
you?
Smithy 3.0: Boo!
Everyone dies of cancer.
Shadow Mario: Worst... battle... ever!
Random Priest: I heal your cancer! Bye!
Shadow Mario: Darn you, random priest! Why didn’t you let us die in peace?!
Daisy: (crying) We’re going to die! And I didn’t get to use my new body to woo men into liking me!
MB: *sad giggle* I’m never going to see my demon mama and papa again! *cries*
Wario: I’m hungry! *cries*
Yux: My FF career is ruined! *cries*
Shadow Mario: You’re all a bunch of babies! Yux! Did we quit when that Blooper was going to kill us? NO! Did we quit when Bonlossus was going to kill us? NO! Did we quit when Fat Shy Guy was going to kill us? NO! What about Roy?! Or Booliss? Or all those zombies? Or all those hippies?! Or Cortez?! Or Mortonzilla?! Or the Koopa squad?! Or even Glumtail?! Did we stop when they tried to kill us? NO!
Yux: Those were all bosses from the last FF.
Shadow Mario: Shut up, I forgot to add in this motivational speech last time so I’m saying it now! If we never give up we will be victorious! WE CAN BEAT THE SHADOW QUEEN-
Smithy 3.0: Smithy 3.0.
Shadow Mario: SMITHY 3.0 IF WE BELIEVE!!!
Nothing happens...
Shadow Mario: ... Ah forget it. Yux, use the randomizer!
Yux: *sigh* Fine. RANDOMIZE!
...
Yux: ... RANDOMIZE!!
...
Smithy 3.0: ... Why aren’t I attacking now?
Yux: RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE RANDOMIZE!!!
A frog pops out of nowhere.
Frog: Hi.
The frog explodes randomly.
Yux: Why isn’t it working?! Wait... That’s right, I already used it today!
Shadow Mario: *shakes fist* Darn you, Joshua! Don’t you have anything else?
Yux: Well... yeah. But it will most likely kill me.
Wario: That’s a risk we’re willing to take!
Daisy: So do it already!
MB: *giggles with gun in hand* OR ELSE!
Yux: ... I hate you all. FINALE RANDOMIZE!
He glows all the colors of the rainbow.
Smithy 3.0: Pretty...
Yux: The super special awesome good news is...
Instruments appear out of thin air.
Smithy 3.0: What is this madness?!
Shadow Mario: Madness... THIS, IS, THE, SHADOW, PAPER, MARIO, 2, R,P,G, THEME, SONNNGGG!!!
(Please listen to the SMRPG Forest Maze music when singing this song out loud... Your’e not going to sing it? Well my gun says otherwise.)
Shadow Paper Mario
RPG...
A name so long
it will make you scream.
When you start
to read it you’ll get lost in a haze...
Then you’ll realize
that you wasted your day.
Shadow Paper
Mario RPG...
The RPG that
is really lame...
It doesn’t make
sense and hurts your brain,
But you didn’t
need it anyways.
...
There are many
secrets on this page...
Many of which
are very lame.
Why’d you want
to read about a very cool game?
’Cause you don’t
have skills and you think you are lame?
Well that may
be true but you still need to play, the more you play means more money
for me...
and that is all
that matters because I’m Shadow Mario... Hi Mom!
Smithy 3.0: The power of music is causing an error in my brain! AHHH!!!
He blows up, leaving behind the last Dark Dtar.
MB: *giggle* We did it!
Shadow Mario: Wait, he had the last Star?
MB: Of course! You didn’t honestly think we came all this way just to beat him up, did ya?
Shadow Mario: Maybe... OMD, YOU DIDN’T GIGGLE!!!
MB: ... You’re right! Now that we have all the Stars, my demonic powers are returning to me! I must now leave you all in order to return to the Underwhere so I can fix the Darkness Road!
Yux: ...
Wario: ...
Daisy: ...
Shadow Mario: ... Well? Go already.
MB: But I thought you guys would be sad.
Everyone falls to the ground laughing. The demon that was in the Malibu Barbie doll bursts out of it.
Big Scary Demon: I WILL REMEMBER THIS, PUNY MORTALS!!! I WILL REMMEMBER!!!
The factory starts to slowly break up as the demon returns to the pits of despair.
Daisy: We have to get out of here!
Wario: (German accent) Get to the chopa!
Shadow Mario: No time! Let’s just jump into this highly unstable warp portal I just made!
Logic: Don’t do it.
Shadow Mario: @#$^# YOUR @%&# LOGIC!!!
They jump in. In this unholy realm of spinning madness, they see many unholy things, like burning Wiis, Mario on a PS3 gamebox, and thousands of unpurchased copies of Halo 3 sitting on a store shelf.
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
A giant hand marked Nintendo grabs Wario and Daisy.
Nintendo: There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you! It’s time to put you in another Mario Party, this time on the DS!
Wario and Daisy: AHHHHHHHH!!!
The warp hole drops Shadow Mario and Yux outside Exor 2.0’s old keep, which is now on fire.
Yux: Shadow Mario...
Shadow Mario: I swear it wasn’t me!
Yux: Not that. I just can’t believe that the FF is over.
Factory Chief 2.0: It’s not over yet! You haven’t fought me yet!
Shadow Mario: (throwing the Chief into the burning castle) Yes, it’s finally over. Rejoice, people of this land! YOU ARE FREE!
He looks over the cliff and sees every town on fire.
Shadow Mario: (still smiling) We accidentally killed everyone again, didn’t we?
Yux: Yup.
Shadow Mario: Well hopefully the Mario partners are being killed in the blaze.
Yux: One can only hope. Oh, and the bad news...
Shadow Mario: Wait, you’re telling me that the whole demon being summoned, the factory blowing up, being sent through a portal of pure evil, and killing everyone on this island was part of the good news?! What is going to be worse then that?!
Yux: Well let’s see. The super horrible bad news is...
A gunshot is heard. Yux looks down and sees a hole where his heart should be.
Shadow Mario: Yux! Who fired that... YOU!
Koopa: That’s for holding me off ‘til the very end ,jerk!
The Koopa starts to leave.
Koopa: Oh, and are you “the” Mario... and junk?
Yux: D... DA... DAD? Is that you?
Shadow Mario: Shut up, you’re dying.
Yux: I can’t... believe that you... of all people... would stay by my side... in the end.
Shadow Mario: Me neither, now hold still while they lower you into your coffin.
Yux: Coffin? Where... did you get... a coffin so fast?
Shadow Mario: Huh? Oh, this old thing? I bought it at the start of the adventure. You never know when you’re going to need one.
Yux: ... I see a light... at the end... of a freeway tunnel.
Shadow Mario: ...
Yux: D-do me one m-more favor, please...
Shadow Mario: What? Sure, I guess. What do you want?
Yux: Please... do... the Time Warp.
He dies on the spot. People of the world rejoice.
Shadow Mario: ... What’s the Time Warp?
Random Goomba: (singing) Well it’s just a jump to the left!
Shadow Mario: Oh come on! Not another musical!
Random Koopa: (singing) And then a step to the right!
Random Parakoopa: (singing) With your hands on your hips!
All three: (singing) You bring your knees in tight! But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane! LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!
Shadow Mario: That doesn’t make any sense!
Author: And you do?
All three: (singing) LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!
They finish dancing. A hole appears behind Shadow Mario and sucks him in.
Shadow Mario: AHHHH!!!
Years earlier…
Shadow Mario: ... Ow, my head. What happened last night?
Max: RANDOMIZE!
He glows, then stops.
Max: The good news is...
The castle crumbles and in the rubble lies Larry’s wand.
*Bowser Jr: All right!
Max: Bad news is...
Suddenly, a red Dry Bones rises from the rubble and grabs the wand. Then he fuses with an army of Dry Bones to become... wait for it... Wait For It... WAIT FOR IT! DRY BONLOSSUSS!!!
Dry Bonlossuss: Muhahaha!
Everyone but Shadow Mario: AHHH!!!
Shadow Mario: Now wait just one cotton-picking minute here! What day be this?
*Bowser Jr: Why, it’s Christmas day, sir.
Shadow Mario: ... Ok, let me try that again that. Where am I?
Max: Have you forgotten already? This is the first real chapter of Shady Parakoopa’s first and hopefully last Fun Fiction, Shadow Paper Mario: Rods of the Crystal Stars.
Shadow Mario: But that was two years ago! You mean I have to relive all that junk again?!
The End!
Luigi’s Side 6
Luigi can be seen walking Mario on his leash.
Luigi: Why do I have this sinking feeling that I’ve been left out of something cool? ... Oh wait, I always have that felling. Stupid Nintendo.
Frankle’s Side 3
Frankle: Where are all those stupid guards today? ... I need food.
Survivor’s Story 1
The remaining survivors of Rogueport can be seen joining their forces with the remaining Mushroom Kingdom people. And so the Anti-Shadow Mario army was formed...
Toad’s Stor-
Shady: Ok, that’s enough stories! *kicks coffin* Get up, Yux.
Yux: *opens eye* Is he gone?
Shady: Yup, the plan worked! That should keep him out of our hair for a year or two.
Yux: One can only hope. Now help me out of this stupid coffin...
The interviewing machine accidentally backs up into the coffin, causing its lid to close and the coffin itself to fall into the open grave. Oh, and the dirt magically puts itself back.
Yux: Um, guys? A little help?
Shady: All in favor of just leaving him there?
Intern waves her arm in the air.
Shady: That’s good enough for me.
They drive away.
Yux: ...
He breathes in deeply.
Yux: I HATE YOU ALL!
The REAL End! : )
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