The Quest

By P.T. Piranha

Every million years, the most important objects on Plit become stronger than ever. If one can collect one or all of them, they’d be unstoppable!
 

BLACK JEWEL

Deep, deep, DEEP in Dry Dry Ruins, a purple-black jewel awakens.

Black Jewel: Hmmm. I sense a disturbance in the force. The dawning of the objects’ advanced power draws near. Now would be a good time to get a head start.

He goes into Tutankoopa’s room, and takes the Mamar Card.

Black Jewel: Better go get the other six, along with anything else. Then I shall be unstoppable! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
 

X-NAUTS

A random X-Naut is messing on the Internet (on Tec-XX) when the computer started screwing up.

X-naut: Uh, Sir Grodus? The computer’s acting up!

Grodus enters.

Grodus: It must be time.

Crump was listening to this (don’t ask me why or how), and wonders what this means.

Crump: Time for what?

Grodus: I read a book saying that every million years, the most powerful objects on the planet gain advanced power. Anyone with all that power must be invincible! I set up the computer so that it would go off when the time came near. Now must be the time.

Crump: We should have a head start. We have the literal Crystal Star!

Grodus: Yes, and we must take advantage of that. You think you can go down, and take the objects?

Crump: Yeah. I had the PhD’s upgrade the Magnus Von Grapple 2.0, just the other day. And with that, POW! I’m gone.

Crump rushes off.

Grodus: Hmm. Maybe we should send the Shadow Sirens, too. Crump is a little… out there.

X-Naut: As you say, dude. I mean, sir!

Grodus: (Why do all these people call me “dude”? What, did I hire surfer-dudes, or something?)
 

CACKLETTA AND FAWFUL

Cackletta: FAWFUL!

Fawful: Yes, your mistress of Cackletta-ness?

Cackletta: I think we should try to go after the Beantar, again. Besides, I hear that it will obtain extra power soon.

Fawful: Are you sure? You died last time. Why did I sound coherent?

Cackletta: I don’t know. But I do know that I died. Thank DAD for 1-Up Mushrooms!

Fawful: Thankfulness indeed. I have a feeling of feeling-ness that it should be in the castle in the center of the place of Beanbean Kingdom-ness.

Cackletta: I agree with you about it being in the castle. Where else would it be?

But someone was watching. Prince Peasley flies back to the castle.
 

PRINCE PEASLEY

Peasley: Queen Bean! You were right to have me spy on Cackletta! She’ll be trying to take the Beanstar gain!

Queen Bean: I had a feeling this would happen. Why are all the villains so persistent? Lady Lima, do you know?

Lima: I do not know, your highness.

Queen Bean: Well, go get that magic 8-ball. In the meantime, Peasley, go take the Beanstar somewhere else. Cackletta must not have the Beanstar. She especially mustn’t have it, for its power is amplified for the time being.

Peasley: I see. Where should I take it?

Queen Bean: Somewhere no one will find it. I hear that Dry, Dry Ruins is abandoned, since Paper Mario.

Peasley: I’m off!

He goes into the room with the Beanstar, and flies away with it.
 

SHROOBS

Meanwhile, in a certain mothership…

Shroob: Mistress, you called?

Princess Shroob: Yes. I hear that Plit’s most powerful objects are beginning to gain advanced power. If we can find the Cobalt Star and release my sister, she can help in the invasion that we’re planning.

Shroob: Okay. Why are you telling me?

Princess Shroob: So you can go tell the other basic Shroobs! All the other kinds know!

Shroob: Oh. Say, how are we speaking English?

Princess Shroob: … I don’t know. TO PLIT!

The mothership sets course for Plit.
 

PEASLEY/BLACK JEWEL

The Black Jewel is just leaving Dry Dry Ruins. Meanwhile, Peasley comes up to it, wondering why a living jewel is coming out of it.

Peasley: Who or what are you?

Black Jewel: I’m the Black Jewel that Wario beat in Wario World.

Peasley: What are you doing here?

Black Jewel: If I told you, I’ll have to kill you.

Peasley: Is this a challenge?

The prince pulls out his sword.

Black Jewel: If you insist!

The evil gem shoots fire at Peasley, who uses his sword to swing it back to the jewel, causing him to drop his Star Spirit card.

Peasley: A Star Spirit card?

(The Star Spirits made cards to give powers like those they had, so no one would kidnap them for said powers.)

The Jewel beats the prince to it. Suddenly, the prince falls asleep.

Black Jewel: Ha ha ha! What’s this? … Excellent…

The Jewel takes the Beanstar from Peasley. But two thieves take it from him.

Croco: Excellent work, wouldn’t you say, partner?

Popple: Oh yeah!

Black Jewel: Give it back!

They have a game of tug-of-war for the Beanstar. Eventually, it breaks into four pieces. One lands, and Popple snatches it. One lands, and the Jewel catches it. One lands a few yards away. The other one lands way off in the distance.

Jewel: Idiots!

He pulls out the Mamar card to lull them to sleep, when he realizes that he no longer has it!

Croco: Lullaby!

The Jewel is put to sleep. Croco is awake, because he cast the spell. Popple is awake, because he covered his ears. Peasley is now awake, because this lullaby cancelled out the first one. The crooks don’t know that, though. He sneaks over to the Beanstar piece, and flies off (unnoticed) to get the other one. He has royal intuition about what happened. and that’s usually correct.

Popple: Wow!

Croco: Now to get the other ones!

They steal the shard that the Jewel got. They go to steal the one that Peasley took, but…

Popple: It’s gone! Wait, wasn’t there some guy laying here?

Croco: Why yes there was… He must’ve taken it!

Popple: Say, with all the power objects around this place, you think we might want to go and try to get others?

Croco: … That would probably be best.

They bolt.
 

CRUMP

Crump (in Magnus Von Grapple 2.0 which can now convert into a UFO) lands on Pleasant Path.

Crump: Hmm. Which one should I go after?

The Beanstar piece lands just in front of Magnus 2.

Crump: This looks like part of that Beanstar I’ve heard about. This must apparently be having extra power now. I can’t stay here. People must be after it. And with that, POW! I’m gone.

Crump takes it. Magnus 2 (back in regular form, and with Crump inside) runs away.
 

BOWSER

Bowser: KAMEK! KAMMY! ANYONE! BRING ME THE NEWSPAPER!

Both of them bring the paper to Bowser.

Bowser: Let’s see… HAHAHA! Oh, that Calvin cracks me up. Let’s see what Garfield is doing today.

He gets lost trying to find Garfield’s strip (he’s too dumb to figure out that it’s on the same page), and finds an important article!

Article:
This just in! Every powerful object on Plit is gaining ultimate power! We just got word that there was a fight in Dry, Dry Desert for the Beanstar. Two thieves managed to get most of it, while Prince Peasley got another part. The location of the fourth shard is currently unknown. It landed in a secluded part of Pleasant Path, but it’s no longer there. How DO we know this stuff, anyway?

Bowser: ARRRGH! AN ULTIMATE QUEST FOR THE MOST POWERFUL OBJECTS ON PLIT IS TAKING PLACE, AND ALREADY THE BEANSTAR IS TAKEN?! THERE MUST BE SOMETHING I CAN TOTALLY TAKE!

Kammy: Okay. Just remember your blood pressure! You don’t want it to be high, just like March 3rd!

Bowser: Okay. Hey, isn’t that the same day that my son keeps threatening P.T. with?

Kammy: I believe it is, sir.

Kamek: I suggest that you go after the Star Rod. No one stopped you from taking it before, even though you eventually lost it.

Bowser: Of course! However, the star people there might have gotten stronger. Maybe the kids should come, too.

Kamek: If you say so. JUNIOR! LARRY! MORTON! WENDY! IGGY! ROY! LEMMY! LUDWIG! COME ON DOWN! YOU’RE GOING TO STAR HAVEN WITH YOUR DAD!

Koopalings: YAY!

They all hop into the Clown Copter.

Bowser: Wait, does anyone have to go, before we leave?

Morton: … I’ll be right back. (Hmm. Why aren’t I as talkative as normal?)

Bowser: (Hmm. Why isn’t he as talkative as normal?)
 

MARIO BROS.

E. Gadd rushes into Mario and Luigi’s house.

Gadd: MARIO! LUIGI!

Mario Bros: Huh?

Mario: What’s wrong?

Gadd: I was studying the plant life of Pleasant Path, when I saw this fat guy with an X on his chest walk off in a giant robot! He also has a Beanstar piece! I fear this may be bad for the well-being of Plit!

Mario: I think you just described Lord Crump!

Luigi: Didn’t you tell me about him, once?

Mario: We have to stop him!

Gadd: Don’t focus on only that! I hear that all the most powerful objects are getting power! People would love to get their hands on it. You should go get the objects, amnd bring them to my lab. There, they can be safe, until their power diminishes.

Mario: I see. Where should we start?

Luigi: We should go warn DK about his Golden Bananas.

Mario: Good idea. Maybe Yoshi should come, too.

Luigi: Good idea.

They leave, while Gadd rushes to his lab.
 

SHADOW SIRENS

The Shadow Sirens have made it to the Forest Maze.

Beldam: Okay, pretties-

Vivian: Why do you call us “pretties” if you hate us?

Marilyn: Guh!

Beldam: Vivian! You shall be punished for questioning my ways!

Vivian: … What item should we search for?

Beldam: I don’t know! Just the first thing we find!

Beldam trips over the Garnet Star.

Beldam: It’s mine! Oh, and Vivian? You’ll be punished for causing me to trip!

Vivian: What?! But I didn’t-

Beldam: Silence!

An arrow hits Beldam, freezing her.

Beldam: Though I can’t move my body, I shall punish you for not protecting me, Vivian!

Vivian: …

Marilyn: Guh! Guh, guh!

Marilyn and Vivian see Bowyer approaching them.

Bowyer: Nyah! Yoda, I talk like!

Beldam: Who’s there? And why is he talking like Yoda?

Bowyer: Two to go, one down!

Bowyer tries to take the Garnet Star from Beldam, but Vivian uses Shade Fist on him.

Bowyer: Ouch! Burns it! Now, you can come out!

Mack jumps out of a bush and lands on Vivian, who faints.

Boyer: Nyah! Proud of us, Smithy will be!

Mack: Oh yeah.
 

SHROOBS

The mothership lands in Sub-con.

Princess Shroob: Oh yes. This is where one of the Cobalt Star shards should be.

They approach the castle they see, because that’s where their detector detects the shard. Inside, they see Wart… counting his Furby collection?

Shroobs: …

Wart: Huh? Who’s there! I am the great Wart!

Princess Shroob: !

They see that a shard is embedded in Wart’s crown.

Princess Shroob: Give me the shard on your crown!

Wart: This? No way!

Princess Shroob: Then you shall die!

Wart: Oh yeah? Triclyde! Come on out!

The three-headed snake appears.

Princess Shroob: That’s the best you can do? Swiggler! Come on out!

The alien worm appears.

Wart: Oh, darn. Mouser, Fry Guy, Clawgrip! Come on out!

Princess Shroob: Shrooboids! Sunnycide! Come on out!

The minions soon start doing battle.
 

POPPLE AND CROCO

The two are running around Mt. Rugged, looking for the piece of the Beanstar that they lost.

Croco: But didn’t the shard go NORTH of the desert?

Popple: Yeah, I’m just looking for anything I can find!

Croco: I think I heard about the Marvelous Compass being in the Mario Bros' house.

Popple: Doesn’t it belong to Princess Éclair?

Croco: No, she gave it to Luigi for his birthday. Now let’s go!

They rush to the train, and it heads for Toad Town.
 

MARIO BROS AND YOSHI

The Bros. and Yoshi are at Toad Town docks.

Boa T. (Get it?): So you want to take a boat to the DK Isles? Okay. But that should take a while.

Mario: Oh, I just remembered! We should probably bring some supplies. Luigi, can you go and get them?

Luigi: Okay. I’ll hurry!

Luigi runs to their house.

Luigi: (Hmm. I’ll bet the Marvelous Compass counts as a power object. I should probably keep that in my pocket, in case.)

He gets there, and takes care of business. As he finishes, he sees the thieves heading his way.

Theives: LUIGI?!

Luigi: What were you planning on doing?!

Thieves: Well, uh…

Luigi hammers the thieves into the distance. Back at the docks…

Mario: Just in time!

They get on the boat, and it heads for the DK Isles.
 

SHADOW SIRENS/BOWYER AND MACK

Marilyn is surprisingly successful in keeping the Garnet Star away from Bowyer and Mack.

Marilyn: Guh!

Lightning strikes them.

Mack: Ouch!

Bowyer: Nyah! Hurt me, lightning does not!

Vivian (who just came to): Then how about fire?

Bowyer: Ouch!

Mack: Fire doesn’t hurt me!

Beldam (who can move again): Then how about ice?

She freezes Bowyer and Mack.

Vivian: Wow. They were tough. But we won!

Beldam: I’m tired! Let’s get some rest at Isle Delfino!

Vivian: I don’t think we should. We only just started! But that would be a great chance to get the Shine Sprites.

Beldam: And we still have the Garnet Star!
 

BOWSER AND FAMILY

The family is now heading for Star Haven. When it gets there, they immediately rush into the Star Spirits' place. But…

Bowser: WHAT?! THE STAR ROD IS GONE?!

Geno appears, and knocks him out with a Geno Whirl.

Koopalings: King Dad!

Junior attempts to paint the doll with acid paint, but misses. Geno takes the paintbrush, and knocks out the others with it. Soon, they wake up in a cage. Twink is watching them.

Bowser: Oh, my head. Wait, if the Star Rod isn’t here, then where is it?

Twink: E-Man has it.

Bowser: Of course! Can I have my one phone call?

Twink: I guess.

He gives Bowser a phone. He dials a number.
 

KOOPA BROS.

Red answers the phone.

Red: Hello, Red Koopa of the Koopa Bros! Who’s calling? … Bowser! What’s up? … You want us to get the what? … The Star Rod? Where is it? … E-Man’s studio? Okay. Should we take the Trojan-you? … Darn.

He hangs up.

Red: Yo, Bros! King B. is in need of our cool-ness! We gotta go to E-Man’s place!

Black: Why?

Yellow: Yeah, why?

Red: We need to get the Star Rod!

Black and Yellow: Oh.

Green: I’m hungry!

Red: We’ll stop by Taco Bell on the way. But for now, TO E-MAN’S STUDIO!

Black: TO THE TROJAN-BOWSER!

Red: No.

Black: Darn.
 

SHROOBS/WART’S GROUP

The aliens seem to be beating Wart’s minions. Swiggler defeated Triclyde, the Shrooboids defeated Mouser and Fry Guy, Sunnycide defeated Clawgrip, and the Shrooboid Brat defeated Nick and Susan.

Wart: Oh. MEGA BUBBLES!

Wart encases the extraterrestrial creatures in bubbles and runs off, so they can’t get his shard. Later, the bubbles pop.

Princess Shroob: No! He got away!

Dr. Shroob: Don’t worry. My detector detects the Sapphire Star in this castle!

Princess: Find it!

Soon, they do.

Princess: Okay. Let’s look for a different shard.

Dr. Shroob: My detector detects one at Pagoda Peak.

Princess: Where is that?

Dr. Shroob: An island in the sea.

Princess: TO PAGODA PEAK!
 

BLACK JEWEL

The Jewel wakes up in the desert.

Black Jewel: Hmm. My spidey-senses are tingling. Those thieves have taken the artifacts I had. They can’t be too far. But first…

He immediately flies to a castle nearby. Yes, all the deserts are part of Desert Land. There…

King: What?! What are you?!

The Jewel summons Unithorns.

Jewel: None of your concern… Bwahahaha!
 

CACKLETTA AND FAWFUL

The two fiends are in the throne room, questioning the queen.

Cackletta: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT HERE ANYMORE?!

Queen Bean: Peasley took it.

Cackletta: WHERE?!

Queen Bean: I’m not telling!

Cackletta: Very well. THEN YOU SHALL HELP US IN OTHER WAYS!

Queen Bean: What? Huh? –AAAAHHHHH!
 

KOOPA BROS.

The Bros. are leaving their fortress.

Yellow: Good thing we remembered to take the Eldstar card!

Black: Oh yeah!

Green: Nacho power!

Other Bros: …

Red: … Anyway, I think E-Man might be a little tough for us. Maybe we should go stock up on things.

Black: Like what?

Red: Well, Peach’s castle is on the way. And I heard that the Mario Bros. and Yoshi were out of town. Who could stop us from taking the Power Stars?

Black: … Good idea!

Yellow: Why didn’t I think of that?

Green: Yes! Green Ninjakoopa, Green Ninjakoopa. My name is Green Koopa. Do you have any nachos, or frozen yogurt?

Fred Fredburger: Die!

Fred punches Green, and explodes.

Black: If you get any dumber, you’re going to have to wear a helmet.
 

CRUMP

Crump, inside Magnus 2 (which can also become a jet boat), makes it to Isle Delfino.

Crump: This island is too far from any kingdom. Who would be after the Beanstar piece that I have, here? … But then again, all those Shine Sprites are pretty valuable…
 

SHADOW SIRENS

Vivian is at the Shine Gate, snatching Shine Sprites with a butterfly net.

Vivian: Stupid Beldam. Making me do this, while she and Marilyn rest.

Crump walks through the Plaza, and sees her.

Crump: VIVIAN! ARE THE OTHER SIRENS HERE?

Vivian: YEAH, THEY’RE MAKING ME DO THE WORK! HEY, WHAT’S THAT?

They see a boat in the distance.

Crump: THAT BOAT MUST BE HEADING FOR DK ISLES. IT’S THE ONLY PLACE THAT BOAT COULD BE HEADING FOR.

Vivian: AREN’T THE GOLDEN BANANAS HERE?

Crump: YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD DITCH BELDAM AND MARILYN, FOR NOW.

Vivian: OKAY!

They leave (with 30 Shine Sprites).
 

CROCO AND POPPLE

After Luigi beating them up, the robbers land in front of Peach’s castle.

Croco: Ow. HAHAHA!

Popple: What? What could be so great? We lost our chance to get the Marvelous Compass!

Croco: But don’t you see? A greater treasure awaits us! Look where we are!

Popple: Peach’s castle. So?

Croco: “So”?! Don’t you see? We can get all 120 Power Stars! And with the Brothers gone, who can stop us?

Popple: …Oh! I agree!

They enter the castle.
 

BOWSER’S FAMILY

Lemmy: Ludwig, how do we get out?

Ludwig: I have studied the cage, long enough to realize something.

Lemmy: What?

Ludwig: There’s a gaping hole in the side of the cage.

Bowser and other Koopalings:…

Ludwig: We can ponder this later. Let’s escape while we can.

Bowser: Good idea, son.

They get out. Quickly, they hop into the Clown Copter, and fly back down.

Iggy: Now what should we look for?

Bowser: I don’t know. Ludwig?

Ludwig: I detect that most of the Crystal Stars are still unfound. One of them is at the Vim Factory, while something else is in Corona Mountain, and another thing is in Booster Tower.

Bowser: Larry! Go alert Kamek and Kammy! Tell them to look in Corona Mountain. Then, you and your siblings will search in the Vim Factory. Since I’m the only one of us that’s been in Booster Tower, I should go there.

He tosses Larry down into the castle.

Bowser: WHEN YOU’RE DONE, GO TO THE FACTORY!
 

KAMEK AND KAMMY

The two of them are talking about what to do with the troops with Bowser’s gone. Larry lands in front of them.

Larry: Ouch. Oh, go to Corona Mountain. Something’s there.

Magikoopas: We’re off!

They leave. Larry lays there, to recover.
 

WART

Wart is walking around Sub-con, thinking about what to do next.

Wart: Hmm. Some aliens were after the thing on my crown, and they managed to beat up my minions and children. That can only mean one thing: the super-strong aliens were after the thing on my crown, because the power objects are gaining advanced power! You! Random Shy Guy! Tell me the name of the power object I’m closest to!

Shy Guy: The thing on your crown.

Wart: Besides that, moron!

Shy Guy: Oh, okay. Grand Canal has the Diamond Star, I think.

Wart: Excellent.

Wart heads to Grand Canal.
 

MARIO BROS.

The boat stops at Grand Canal.

Conductor: Sorry, but we need to stop for fuel.

Mario: Okay. As long as there isn’t anyone else heading towards DK Isles.

He doesn’t know that Crump & Vivian are heading there.

Yoshi: Isn’t the Diamond Star here?

Luigi: I don’t know.

Mario: I think it is. We’d better go find it.

They search around, and eventually find it. And of course, take it.

Mario: Ah. This place makes me feel right at home!

Luigi: Me too!

Wart appears.

Wart: I am the great Wart! And I am going to have the Crystal Star!

Luigi: Isn’t that a piece of the Cobalt Star on his crown?

Yoshi: It is! Get it!

Yoshi grabs it with his tongue.

Wart: Mega Bubble!

He encases Yoshi in a bubble, and the dinosaur drops the shard. Wart goes to get it, but Mario hammers it out of Wart’s reach. The Bros. then hammer Wart.

Wart: Ouch! Take this!

He summons a Snifit to shoot at the Mario Bros, but they dodge, and it pops the bubble Yoshi is in. He eats the minion, and throws the new egg at Wart’s head, knocking him out. Mario grabs the shard.

Mario: After going to DK Isles, we should probably turn in our current items.

Luigi: Oh yeah!

Conductor: The boat’s up and running!

The Bros. and Yoshi get back on the boat, and head to the DK Isles.
 

BELDAM AND MARILYN

The two Sirens wake up from their nap, and leave Hotel Delfino.

Beldam: Let’s go see how Vivian is doing.

They go to the Plaza, and see that 90 Shine Sprites are left.

Beldam: What?!

Marilyn: Guh!

Beldam: You’re right. There is a note on the Shine Gate.

Note:
To Beldam and Marilyn:

Gone to DK Isles to get Golden Bananas with Crump. Will be back soon.

~Vivian

Beldam: Now what?

Marilyn: Guh?

Beldam: Do it ourselves?! Are you mad?!

Then, they see a purple alien in a techno-suit.

Tatanga: Where could my wallet be? I can’t buy a boat to the Mushroom Kingdom and steal the Power Stars from Peach’s castle without it!

Beldam: Did you just say “Power Stars”?

Tatanga: Yes. I want to steal the Power Stars because the Mario Bros. are away.

Beldam: And did you mean THIS wallet?

She holds out Tatanga’s wallet.

Tatanga: Yes! Give it back!

Beldam: Only if you take the remaining Shine Sprites for me!

Pianta policemen handcuff Beldam.

Police Chief: So you’re behind this! Die!

Beldam freezes them, and breaks out of the handcuffs.

Tatanga: Okay. I’ll get them for you.

He takes them.

Beldam: Now fork them over!

Tatanga: Actually, I thought that I wouldn’t. SHINE!

Tatanga glows so bright, it knocks out the two Shadow Sirens. He then stops glowing, and swipes his wallet back.

Tatanga: Mushroom Kingdom, here I come!

Tatanga takes a boat to the Mushroom Kingdom. But someone was watching.

Petey Piranha: Hmmm…
 

BLACK JEWEL

The Jewel is going around Gritzy Desert with a wand.

Black Jewel: Little does anyone know, the seven wands from SMB3 are actually power items, too! That king never stood a chance! Now, Kalmar is supposed to be in the Koopaseum. Let’s go and get it.
 

SHROOBS

The Shroobs make it to Pagoda Peak.

Princess: YOOB! GO!

Yoob runs around terrorizing the place.

Townsperson #1: RUN! IT’S YOOBZILLA!

Townsperson #2: No, it’s just Yoob.

Townsperson #1: Oh.

They get squashed. Three people are awaiting Yoob at the top of Pagoda Peak.

Jinx: Halt!

The Master (from Paper Mario): If you want to take our pointy, blue thing-

Master Koopa (from Mario Party 7): You must defeat us.

The masters seem to be really powerful. They take down Yoob in a few seconds.

Princess Shroob: … SWIGGLER! SUNNYCIDE! SHROOBOIDS! SHROOBOID BRAT!

She summons more monsters. But they suffer the same fate.

Princess Shroob: …

Commander Shroob: Maybe you could give me a shot.

Princess: Okay. Go!

Commander Shroob summons an army of Shroobs to beat up the masters. It doesn’t work. So…

Commander Shroob: SUPPORT SHROOBS!

Three Shroobs throw a giant bomb at the three masters. All that’s left is a crater where Master Koopa’s dojo used to be. In that is the shard, along with the three masters, who are unconscious.

Princess Shroob: Excellent!

She takes the shard.

Dr. Shroob: Your Highness, my detector detects two at once! One is actually moving, and heading for the DK Isles. And one seems to be in Corona Mountain.

Princess Shroob: Hmmm. Commander, you seem to be competent. Go after that one headed for DK Isles. I’ll go after the one in Corona Mountain.

Commander Shroob: As you say, Princess.
 

POPPLE AND CROCO

The thieves are in the castle, getting beat up by Peach. Hey, Peach was a playable character in an RPG and a fighting game, you must understand.

Popple: I can’t believe we only got five Power Stars.

Peach: You though you could take advantage of the Mario Bros. and Yoshi being out of town? Ha! And did I tell you Daisy could fight?

Daisy is seen shoving Croco’s hat into his mouth.

Popple: If-ouch!-Daisy is-ouch!-here, then who-ouch!-is guarding Sarasaland?

Daisy: I asked P.T. to do it for me. Now it’s your turn!

Both princesses gang up on Popple. The Koopa Bros. can be seen sneaking past the action.
 

KOOPA BROS.

Black: Wow, we don’t have to deal with the princess, I guess.

Yellow: Indeed. How many Stars should we take?

Red: Uh... Maybe 30. Besides, we could get that much while the princesses are-

Peach: DIE!

Green: Yay! A party! Who brought the chips and dip?

Everyone in the castle: …

Red: Run!

The Ninjakoopas run away just in time.

Green: Hey, if Daisy’s here, then who’s guarding Sarasaland?

Red: I do- … That may have been the smartest thing you said. Ever. Isn’t the Pipe Land wand in that place?

Yellow: I think. Say, how did all these items end up in random places?

Red: I don’t know! You’re the smart one! Or at least the smartest. Let’s go!

Black: What about getting the Star Rod?

Red: That can wait!

They see Tatanga moving past them. Tatanga apparently doesn’t know where the castle is.

Black: Who was that?

Other Brothers (rhyme intended): I don’t know.
 

CRUMP AND VIVIAN

Vivian: Are we there, yet? I thought this was supposed to go fast.

Crump: It’s faster than it used to go!

Vivian: But it never used to be a boat.

Crump: Exactly!

Vivian: …

Crump: Look! The Mario Bros!

They see that the Mario Bros. and Yoshi are in a boat.

Crump: I wonder where they could be heading.

Vivian: Most likely DK Isles. Where else?

Crump: Isn’t there a battleship coming up behind them?

Vivian: Yeah. There is. Why does it have the Shroob symbol in it?

Crump: Oh no. More competition. Maybe we should alert Grodus.
 

GRODUS

Grodus is playing tiddlywinks (What is that, anyway?) with an X-Naut. He’s losing when he answers his cell phone.

Grodus: Hello? … The Shroobs? Oh. Fine. Just stay where you are, and the rest of us will come down to Plit.
 

E-MAN, DOOPLISS, AND OCTOROCK

E-Man: Doopliss! Phone call!

Octorock: How come I never get phone calls?

Doopliss: Hello? … Beldam? … Jail? No, I won’t bust you out! You keep calling me “Freak sheet”! … Leave Mapliss and Yarnliss out of this! … Fine!

Doopliss hangs up.

Doopliss: E-Man, I’m going to Isle Delfino. I don’t know when I’ll be back.

E-Man: Okay. You might want the Star Rod.

Doopliss: Thanks.

The Season 5 Champion of Roy’s Sports Hall leaves the studio.
 

BOWSER

Bowser is using a battering ram shaped like Lemmy (Go buy one at Goldbobbington’s! Buy 1, get 1 free!) to bust into Booster Tower. He finally manages.

Booster: Get out of my tower! I’m expecting the Wario Bros. to be here for a game of poker!

Bowser: I thought they were at Hotel Delfino.

Booster: Oh. Get out! Don’t make me summon the Snifits!

Bowser: Like they can beat me.

Booster summons them, but Bowser easily wins. He even tosses one at Booster, knocking him out. Valentina and Dodo enter. Valentina is holding the Water Land wand.

Valentina: What’s happening?

Bowser: Give me the wand!

Valentina: No! In fact, I was going to go look for the others! Dodo! Keep him busy!

Dodo: Fine. But do that again without saying please, and I’ll peck you!

Bowser and the bird start a fight like on DragonBallZ. That’s shocking, since they’re just two fat guys.

Bowser and Dodo: Hey!
 

CACKLETTA AND FAWFUL

Cackletta and Fawful are flying (in the chair and headgear) around nowhere in particular.

Fawful: What is the location of our next destination, Cackletta of my mistress-ness?

Cackletta: I don’t know. Where’s that detector you had?

Fawful: Here is the location of it, being in my pocket of side of my pants-ness.

Cackletta: Let me see that. Hmmm. Two Beanstar pieces are in Peach’s castle. One is actually moving, and to Pleasant Path. One is somewhere between Isle Delfino and DK Isles. Let’s go to Peach’s castle! I hear the Mario Bros. are gone for now!

Fawful: As you say, your-

Cackletta: I get the point! Let’s go, already!
 

PRINCE PEASLEY

Peasley: (How come it took me 'til now to get to Pleasant Path? Oh well.) Hmmm. The piece is gone! Where could it be? What the- OH MY DAD!

He sees Cackletta and Fawful heading to Peach’s Castle.

Peasley: This can’t be good! But this means that power objects are there! And worse: Peach’s voice is in danger! And that’s a power item, despite popular opinon! To Peach’s castle, I go! I must beat them there!

He flies off, in a hurry.
 

P.T.

P.T. is sitting on the throne in Daisy’s castle while she’s away. Why? They’re siblings (read LM3 or his bio for more info).

P.T.: I’m bored.

Servant: Would you like another Yoohoo?

P.T.: Yes, fool!

Other Servant: Look what I found!

He holds out the Pipe Land wand, which P.T. takes.

P.T.: MINE!

The second servant walks off, crying.
 

BLACK JEWEL

The Black Jewel is inside the Koopaseum, when he spots Jr. Troopa.

Jr: Hey, are you looking for this?

He pulls out the Kalmar card.

Jewel: Yes. Now, give it to me!

He summons Unithorns to take the card from Jr. Suddenly, Red Brief J. appears, and knocks Jr. away. What does the J stand for, anyway? Jr, maybe?

Jewel: Red Brief, go look for other items for me.

Red Brief: Okay.
 

WART

Wart wakes up in Grand Canal from his beating.

Wart: Oh, my head. AAAHHH! THE SHARD AND DIAMOND STAR ARE GONE!

Random Shy Guy (the species that live there): Shut up! My kids are taking their nap!

Wart: Silence! Where could they have gone? Well, I think one of them might be in Pipe Land. I’m off!
 

KAMEK AND KAMMY

The two of them are searching in Corona Mountain, when they reach a platform under the cloud hop that takes people to Bowser’s tub. There, they see a Cobalt Star shard.

Kamek: I’ll take it!

Kamek jumps off his broom to get it, when Princess Shroob takes it.

Kamek: You! Hey, how have you not aged since Bowser was a baby?

Princess Shroob: Shroobs don’t age as fast as Plitians.

Kammy: Give it back! We know how to fight! And since your army isn’t here, you can’t save yourself!

Princess Shroob: Not true. I only sent Commander Shroob away. I still have the others!

Yoob jumps down, and eats the Magikoopas. The princess takes the shard.

Princess Shroob: DR. SHROOB! WHERE’S THE NEXT ONE?

Dr. Shroob: You don’t have to yell. It’s in Pipe Land.

Princess: TO PIPE LAND!

Dr. Shroob: No, seriously, stop yelling.

The princess pushes the Dr. Shroob into the lava for telling her what to do. But she takes the detector from him, just before he sinks in all the way.

Princess Shroob: As I was saying, TO PIPE LAND!
 

CACKLETTA AND FAWFUL/ PEACH AND DAISY/ PEASLEY

Cackletta and Fawful break into the castle.

Peach: Cackletta! Other guy!

Fawful: Fawful.

Peach: What do you want?

Cackletta: We want the Beanstar pieces!

Daisy: You mean the Beanstar pieces that these thieves had?

Cackletta: Yes. Also the Power Stars and Peach’s voice!

Peasley bursts in.

Peasley: Not so fast!

Cackletta: So you hid the Beanstar. Queen Bean wouldn’t cooperate, so we changed her.

Queen Bean appears, as a monster like when Mario and Luigi fought her.

Peasley: Queen Bean!

Cackletta: Surrender the items, or else you’ll all die, or get beaten up!

Just then, Tatanga bursts in.

Tatanga: Surrender the Power Stars or else I’ll-

Queen Bean punches the alien into the distance. Peach swings her parasol, knocking Fawful out the window. But Cackletta summons lightning to knock the parasol out of her hand, and the sword out of the green prince’s hand.

Daisy: Judo chop!

She attempts to judo chop, but Cackletta summons a hole that she drops in. Then, she becomes big, and knocks out Peasley, then Peach. Suddenly, Peach’s voice (now in a bottle) goes to Cackletta, as do the other power items in the castle.

Cackletta: Now I’m a force to be reckoned with! Better get rid of these two. Queen Bean?

Queen Bean punches the thieves away.
 

TATANGA

Tatanga: Oh, my head. Where am I?

Winkle: Welcome to the Winkle Realm.

Tatanga: The Chuckola Reserve! MINE!

He takes it, puts it in a bottle, and leaves.
 

KOOPALINGS

All of Bowser’s children (minus Larry) enter the Vim Factory.

Ludwig: The creatures in Toadwood Forest were surprisingly pleasant.

Roy: I still beat them, anyway!

Lemmy: You have an unlimited capacity for violence.

Roy: Are you calling me bald?!

Lemmy: No! That has nothing to do with it! … But Iggy did. And Morton.

Roy: Die!

Iggy: Why -ow!- did you do that?! Ouch!

Lemmy: I’m bored.

Wendy: Toadwood Forest is filthy! And so is this factory! I want to go home, and take a bath!

Ludwig: But King Dad wanted us to-

Wendy: I WANT TO GO HOME, NOW!

Morton: Ludwig, brother, sibling, relative, please let her go, leave, exit, depart, vamoose, skidaddle, scat, shoo, scram. We’ll be better off with out her whining, temper tantrums, whaling, blubbering.

Roy: He’s right.

Ludwig: Fine.

Wendy leaves, but as she walks out, Larry walks in. They bump into each other, and faint.

Other Koopalings: …

Junior: So what’s here, anyway?

Ludwig: I think the Emerald Star. Let’s go.

They soon make it to the room where the Mario quartet fought Swiggler. There, they see someone taking the Emerald Star.
 

PETEY PIRANHA

Petey takes the Emerald Star.

Petey: Ever since that scuffle in Delfino Plaza, I deduced that the battle for the power objects has begun. Good thing my spidey senses told me that the Emerald Star is.

Ludwig: Drop it. I have a ray gun.

Lemmy: I have a Freeze Gun.

Roy: I have my fists.

Morton: I have endless speeches.

Junior: I have a giant paintbrush.

Iggy: I have… nothing.

Petey: Isn’t there supposed to be more of you?

Lemmy: Knocked out. Don’t ask.

Petey: Okay.

Petey spits goop on Iggy, disabling him. Morton starts babbling. But the same thing happens. Junior starts painting goop of his own, to summon Stus to attack Petey. Petey does the same thing, and his Stus are stronger. Roy attempts to beat him up, when the Piranha Plant summons a whirlwind to send Roy into the air. Who knows where he lands. Lemmy freezes him, but Petey breaks out and headbutts him, knocking him out. Ludwig shoots a ray gun. But…

Ludwig: Darn. Wrong ray gun. I brought the buff-up laser.

Petey is now stronger, and he sends all the Koopalings (even Larry and Wendy, somehow) somewhere. He flies away with the Emerald Star.

Read on!


 
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