Chapter 7: The Mystery of Dry, Dry Ruins
Last time, Mario and Co. beat up Tubba Blubba and Ludwig. Say... why did all the Koopalings so far die? Oh well! Now Mario and Co. are somewhere underground... Wow... that explosion was big then...
Mario: Ow... Stupid Clubba...
??? 1: BLOOP!
??? 2: BUZZ BLOOP!
??? 3: I'M A TORPEDO!
YOU AGAIN?!
??? 3: Nah, I just did that because I was bored. Now... SUPER BLOOP!
???s: WE ARE THE BLOOPER TRIO!
Mario: Uhh...
Blooper: I am a regular Blooper!
Electro Blooper: I am an Electric Blooper!
Super Blooper: I am a Super Blooper! Better than the other two!
Other Bloopers: WHAT?!
The Bloopers kill each other.
Mario: Wow, that was stupid!
Mario and Co. leave the sewers and go to the train station.
Bombette: Why are we here? Is it because we'll be taking a train to Mt. Rugged, then go to Dry, Dry Desert and go to Dry, Dry Outpost to find a mouse named Moustafa, then he'll give us a Pulse Stone so we can find Dry, Dry Ruins, defeat Tutankoopa and Morton, and rescue the Star Spirit?
Mario: ... Sure...
Mario goes to the train conductor and...
Train Conductor: YOU AGAIN! AGH!
Mario: ... We've met?
Train Conductor: I WAS THE #$@#$ BLUE TRAIN CONDUCTOR FROM SHY GUY'S TOY BOX! BUT BECAUSE YOU #$$@$@ EXPLODED IT, I LOST MY $%#$@% JOB AND MY $%@#$3 BLUE HAT! NOW I WORK FOR THIS $#%@%@#% TRAIN STATION $%^$%@!!!
Mario: ... I see...
Train Conductor: So would you like to ride the train?
Mario: Yes.
Train Conductor: Then move that rock out of the way.
Mario blows up the rock with Bombette.
Train Conductor: I SAID MOVE IT! NOT %@#$ BLOW IT UP! NOW YOU HAVE TO @#$@#$ REDO IT!
Another rock appears from the sky and lands on Goombario, then bounces to where the first rock was earlier. During this time, however, some people have met up in Bowser's Castle. No, they aren't Koopatrols or Hammer Bros. They are someone else...
??? 1: Should we wait here?
??? 2: I don't know!
??? 3: Why are our names ??? #?
??? 4: To make us look mysterious.
??? 5: How did we get here anyways?
??? 6: I don't know! But it's up to one of those two to stop him...
Back to Mario and Co...
Mario: PUSH!
... Ok, so it's taking longer than expected, so going to the bosses...
General Guy: Ok! Now that we are on shore, I want all of you to commit suicide!
Tribal Guys: Ok!
Huff N' Puff: GENERAL GUY?!
General Guy: Hi Huff N' Puff!
Lava Piranha: I'm alive!
Bucket of Water: Put me in the freezer!
Tubba Blubba: Duh... I was just defeated!
Koopa Bros: Say, where are we anyways?
General Guy: Hmm... Some dark room... I'll turn on the lights!
*Click!*
Everyone: ...
General Guy: ... What are the odds of this room being a bottomless pit?
Back to Mario and Co... again...
Mario: Can we go now?
Train Conductor: Fine... but you have to tell me what to do with my army of stone creatures!
Mario: ... Hold a parade?
Train Conductor: *squinty eyes* I'll do it... What the?! IDIOTS! You guys were supposed to hold those black screens so it goes into widescreen format!
Rock Creatures: Sorry...
Mario and Co. get on the train and crash into the train station at Mt. Rugged.
Mario: Ow... What idiot forgets to put brakes?!
Chuck: Don't make me do THE thing...
Mario: You're the engineer?
Chuck: Yes. And I also still think you should take that thing back about calling me an idiot.
Mario: You made this train?
Chuck: Yes!
Mario: It stinks...
Chuck: THAT'S IT!
Chuck approaches Mario and Co.
Chuck: I'm a chuckster!
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Chuck chucks Mario and Co. to the top of the cliff.
Parakarry: Are you idiots all right?
Mario: Why are you calling us idiots?
Parakarry: Well it was just plain stupid of you to insult a chuckster!
Mario: True...
Everyone: ...
Parakarry: ... What?
Mario: Usually, people make you die in Fun Fiction.
Parakarry: I'm one of the author's favorite partners!
It's true!
Partners: Who else?
Well... Watt, Parakarry, and Sushie are all my favorite partners and... wait... WHY ARE YOU GUYS TALKING TO ME?! JUST GO AND GET THAT STUPID STAR FROM MORTON AND TUTANKOOPA!
Mario and Co: Morton is here?! STILL?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Please Stand By...
Mario: Ok, now let's go to... that place!
Parakarry: You need me!
Mario: Why?
Parakarry: Because the author is saying it for me!
Help him and make him join you or die!
Mario: ...
Parakarry: Now I lost three letters! Find them!
Mario and Co. go into the next area.
Mario: I'm not going to look for those letters!
Mario pulls out 3 pieces of paper and 3 envelopes. Mario than forges 3 fake letters and goes back to Parakarry.
Parakarry: Thanks!
Parakarry joined the Party! In battle, he can attack his opponent with his Sky Dive or use his Shell Shot to shoot opponents with spikes! Outside of battle, he can carry Mario across small ledges to another ledge!
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. go to the cliff where Buzzar is and Mario tries to fly over with Parakarry, but...
Cliff: NO! You can't fly over to me!
The cliff goes one step back.
Mario: O_O How did you move?!
Cliff: Do not question things you cannot understand!
Mario: WAIT! We've used that joke too much now! We have to think of something else!
Partners, Author, and the Cliff: Hmm... You're right!
Mario: ...
Than P.T. appears...
P.T.: I guess you're wondering why I'm here this time, right?
Mario: Yes.
P.T.: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Gondola Tour!
P.T. makes 2 gondolas appear. He goes in one, and Mario and Co. go into the other one.
Buzzar: WAIT! Who are you?
Mario: Luigi!
Buzzar: Ok.
Buzzar goes back. Than P.T.'s gondola goes over and falls on Buzzar.
Buzzar: OW!
Mario and Co. are still in their gondola until they get to Dry, Dry Desert...
Mario: Let me guess, it's going to fall and severely hurt us?
No... I was going to say that it crashes into Dry, Dry Outpost and explodes it.
Mario and Co: O_O
The gondola does that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Sheek: Ow...
Everyone: Ow...
... Yeah... Thinking of a new joke is hard...
Sheek: You! Come here!
Mario goes to Shiek.
Mario: What do you want?
Shiek reveals himself to be...
Mario: LUIGI!?
"Luigi": Oops...
"Luigi" reveals himself to be...
Goombario: GOOMPA?!
"Goompa": Oops...
"Goompa" reveals himself to be...
Kooper: KOOPER?!
"Kooper": Oops...
"Kooper" reveals himself to be...
Bombette: BRUCE?!
"Bruce": HOW MANY DISGUISES DID I PUT ON?!
"Bruce" reveals himself to be...
Mario and Co: BADLY DRAWN TRIANGLE MAN?!
"Badly Drawn Triangle Man": ...
Yeah... Let me just say it goes on for awhile...
"Bowser": DANG IT!
"Bowser" reveals himself to be...
Mario: MARIO?!
"Mario": ...
...
Please Stand By...
"Some Guy From A Different Game": OK! THIS IS MY LAST DISGUISE!
"Some Guy From A Different Game" reveals himself to be...
Mario: SOME GUY I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE?!
Mouse: My name is MRREALLYLONGNAMEHAHAHASOLONGITTAKES200000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000SECONDSTOWRITEEXACTLYHAHAHASOISAIDTOTHEGUYTHAT WASN'TMYAUNTTHATWASMYUNCLEHAHAHA! But you can call me Moustafa!
Mario: ... Ok you psychopath...
Moustafa: I AM NO PSYCHOPATH! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD! THAN RELEASE ALL MY PSYCHO BRETHREN FROM THE PSYCHO HOUSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mario: O_o?
Moustafa: Uhh... I mean, take this Pulse Stone!
Mario obtains a Pulse Stone!
Moustafa: Give Mario a big hand!
*Insert Clapping Here*
Moustafa: YOU IDIOTS! I MEANT GIVE HIM A BIG HAND LIKE THE MASTER HAND! HAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL ONE DAY DEFEAT ALL NOT PSYCHOPATHS AND HAVE ALL THE FREE CHICKEN I WANT!
Mario: O_o?
Moustafa: Uhh... I mean, go to Dry, Dry Desert and place this stone on a rock pedestal thingy to make Dry, Dry Ruins appear!
Mario: ... Whatever you say, psychopath...
Mario and Co. leave and enter the place with the pedestal thingy that makes Dry, Dry Ruins appear.
Mario: Now to place this thingy on this other thingy...
Mario puts the Pulse Stone on the pedestal thingy.
BOOM! CRASH! WHACK! BOOM AGAIN! Dry Dry Ruins appears!
Tutankoopa: THANK DAD! I'M FREE AT LAST!
But than a hand comes from the sky and grabs Tutankoopa and drags him back to Dry, Dry Ruins.
Tutankoopa: NOO! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT GOING BACK IN THERE! PLEASE!!!
Let me think... no.
Tutankoopa: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mario: Weird...
Mario and Co. enter and find the Ruins empty.
Mario: Why is no one here? Oh, right... Morton is here...
Mario and Co. continue and find Pokey Mummies.
Pokey Mummy 1: Ha! We're here because we can't hear anything at all!
Pokey Mummy 2: WHAT?
Pokey Mummy 3: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pokey Mummy 1: I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!
Mario: Weirdos...
Mario and Co. continue and find a switch.
Mario: I push the switch!
Sand falls through the floor and into the room below.
Mario: I'm too lazy to go through the door! I'm using this drill!
Goombario: Wouldn't holding that very heavy drill be doing more work than going through a door?
Mario: Wow! I get to say it for once! Do not question things you cannot understand.
Goombario: ...
A stone from the ceiling falls on Goombario.
Goombario: ... Wait a minute... Wasn't I attacked in the last story?
So?
Goombario: I was beaten real badly just for a shiny! So I should be in the hospital!
Ok. Goombario was in the hospital but joined Mario even though he is still in a full body cast!
Goombario: MMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!! (This isn't what I had in mind!)
Mario: I wonder what The Dryest Bones does...
Mario uses The Dryest Bones.
The Dryest Bones: I'm free!
The Dryest Bones leaves.
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. continue and find a room with an explodable wall, Buzzy Beetles, and ways to more rooms.
Mario: Bombette!
Bombette: You want me to explode that wall so you can get the key, to continue through the ruins and save the Star Spirit?
Mario: ... Yes.
Bombette: Ok!
BOOM!
Mario does what Bombette said, and continues.
Mario: Let's see...
Mario and Co. wander into the room with the sarcophagi (coffins), trick ? Block, and the Artifact.
Mario: I wonder what's in the block...
BONK!
The sarcophagi open and reveal more Pokey Mummies.
Pokey Mummy 1: Ha! We're here because we can't hear anything at all!
Pokey Mummy 2: WHAT?
Pokey Mummy 3: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pokey Mummy 1: I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!
Mario: OH NO! A CUT AND PASTE! AHHHHH!!!
Mario and Co. kill all the Pokey Mummies and make a key appear.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. continue and eventually make it to the room with the big treasure chest.
Mario: I hit the stone block!
BOOM!
Mario opens the box and finds...
Mario: A Super Hammer? ... Useless...
Mario tosses the Super Hammer away and it hits Goombario.
Goombario: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! (OWWWWWWWWWW!!!)
Mario and Co. continue and eventually enter the room with the 5 Stone Chomp statues.
Chomp Statues: Give us the Pyramid Stone, Diamond Stone, and Lunar Stone or die!
Mario: What?
Chomp Statues: Uhh... YOU HEARD NOTHING, MORTAL!
Mario: O_o?
Mario and Co. continue and find a room with all 3 stones.
Mario: O_o? Shouldn't all the stones be scattered?
I'm lazy! I hate this chapter! I want to end it quickly!
Mario: Oh.
Mario grabs all 3 stones.
Mario: That was easy!
Than Bowser Jr. appears.
Mario: X_X
Bowser Jr: DIE!
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 50 HP
Parakarry: 45
HP
Vs.
Bowser Jr: 120
HP
Everyone: O_o?
... What?
Bowser Jr: O_o? I have over the maximum enemy HP?
Yes you do!
Bowser Jr: ^v^
Mario: How do you keep making that face, Author?
Easy! I just use this ^ then a v then another ^!
Mario: Oh... MEGA
SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 110
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 105
HP
Bowser Jr: Charge!
Bowser Jr's attack
+2!
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 95
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 90
HP
Bowser Jr: MEGA
CHARGE!
Bowser Jr's attack
+15!
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 85
HP
Bowser Jr: SPECIAL
ATTACK! MEGA SHELL TOSS!
Mario: 23 HP
Mario: O_O
Bowser Jr .:
It also gives me another turn!
Mario: >_<
Bowser Jr: Paint!
Bowser Jr. paints
the Twilit Fossil Stallord.
Stallord: -1
HP
Mario: Why does he have -1 HP?
Diplomatic immunity!
Mario: O_o?
I think it has something to do with the fact that he isn't even in this game.
Mario: ... Ok...
MEGA SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 75
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 70
HP
Bowser Jr: Paint!
Bowser Jr. paints
the Twilit Ice Mass Blizzeta.
Blizzeta: -1
HP
Mario: Ugh...
Stallord: ROAR!
Parakarry: 40
HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 60
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 55
HP
Bowser Jr: Paint!
Bowser Jr. paints
the Twilit Arachnid Armogohma
Armogohma: -1
HP
Stallord dies.
Blizzeta does nothing.
Mario: O_o? MEGA
SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 45
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 40
HP
Bowser Jr: Paint!
Bowser Jr. paints
the Twilit Dragon Argorok
Argorok: -1 HP
Stallord comes back to life as a skull!
Blizzeta still does nothing!
Armogohma crawls to the ceiling!
Mario: O_o? MEGA
SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 30
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 25
HP
Bowser Jr: ATTACK!
Stallord blows
a fireball at Mario!
Blizzeta throws
an iceball at Parakarry!
Armogohma shoots
a laser at Mario!
Argorok blows
fire on Parakarry!
Mario: 3 HP DANGER!
Parakarry: 20
HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 15
HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Bowser Jr: 10HP
The Twilit Bosses die!
Bowser Jr: Shell
Toss!
Mario: 0 HP!
Life Shroom!
Mario 10 HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Bowser Jr: 0
HP!
MINI BOSS BATTLE END!
Bowser Jr: I'll remember this!
Bowser Jr. runs away.
Mario: That wasn't too hard!
Mario and Co. go back to the Stone Chomp statues.
Stone Chomp Statues: Now put them in the right order or die!
Mario: ...
Mario puts them in the wrong order.
Stone Chomp Statues: WRONG!
Mario puts them in the right order.
Stone Chomp Statue: WRONG!
Mario: O_o?
Mario puts them in the right wrong order.
Stone Chomp Statue: PARADOX FUNCTION FUNCTIONING! SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED!
BOOM!
The explosion makes the stairs appear.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. continue and enter Tutankoopa's room.
Tutankoopa: PLEASE SAVE ME!
Morton: HEY IT'S MARIO! I MUST DEFEAT, DESTROY, KILL YOU FOR KING DAD!
BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 50 HP
Parakarry: 45
HP
Vs.
Morton: 30 HP
Morton: Hey why aren't you helping?
Tutankoopa: In my happy place... In my happy place...
Everyone: O_o?
Morton: No fair!
Tutankoopa: GASP!
You said a short sentence! Now I'll fight with you!
Tutankoopa: 20
HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Morton: 20 HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Tutankoopa: 15
HP
Morton: TALK!
Mario: 30 HP
Parakarry: 25
HP
Tutankoopa: Buzzy
Beetle Shell Toss!
Mario: 27 HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Morton: 10 HP
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Tutankoopa: 10
HP
Morton: TALK!
Mario: 7 HP
Parakarry: 5
HP DANGER!
Tutankoopa: CHOMPY!
Chomp: 5 HP
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Morton: 0 HP!
Morton: NO! This
can't be real, true, not a lie! I must, do commit suicide!
Morton jumps
into Chomp's mouth.
Chomp: ARF!
Chomp dies due
to choking.
Everyone: O_O
YAY! WE'RE FREE FROM MORTON!
Mario: But we
have a battle to finish!
Parakarry: Shell
Shot!
Tutankoopa: 5
HP
Tutankoopa: MAGIC!
BOOM!
Mario: 1 HP PERIL!
Parakarry: 1
HP PERIL!
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Tutankoopa: 0
HP!
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Tutankoopa: OW! Come, Chompy!
Chomp: ARF!
Tutankoopa: ACK! RUN AWAY!
Tutankoopa runs away!
Mamar: Thank you! Now go to Shooting Star Summit!
The Dryest Bones comes in.
The Dryest Bones: I'm blowing this place to Kingdom Come!
Mario: ...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Mario: ...
Partners: ...
End of Chapter:
Why did The Dryest Bones blow up Dry, Dry Ruins? How did Morton and Tutankoopa get in Dry, Dry Ruins? How was Tutankoopa able to last that long with Morton? Why didn't I have any questions in the last few chapters? What will happen at the end of the last chapter? Find out in Chapter 8: A Star-Powered Showdown!
To Be Continued...
| If you would like to send some feedback
to the author of this submission, please complete this form.
What's your name?
What's your Email address?
How do you rate this submission?
Does this submission belong in Little
Lemmy's Land?
Would you like to see more from this author? Comments and suggestions:
|
