Paper Mario: Goomba Star Saga

By Keroh Toad

Chapter 4: The Beginning of the Ending of the End

Iggy: You really enjoy making weird titles, don't you?

... Maybe...

Iggy: I knew it!
 

Last time, Mario, Goombella, and Bombelle went inside the Beanbean Castle to see that it was empty... except for one room crawling with Goombas. Charlie the Goomba was still looking for the High Definition Flat Screen TV, until he somehow heard someone singing the Pizza Pie song and he started singing Pizza Pie too. At Petey's Pizza Palace, Luigi was trying to calm down the angry crowd of unsatisfied customers. And Keroh Toad's iShroom was used to calm down the crowd... but I don't think it worked.

Mario is still singing the Pizza Pie song...

Bombelle: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Goombella: Wait! Don't explode! I think Mario's singing is doing something to the Goombas.

The Goombas are seen falling down on the floor.

Mario: -IZZA PIZZA PIE! EVERY MINUTE EVERY SECOND PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIEE!

King Goomba: Hey! You cowards! Get up and fight that plumber! NOW!

Paragoomba: My wings! I lost my wings! AAAAAAH!

The ground starts to shake.

Bombelle: W-w-w-what's h-happening?!

Goombella: I-I d-d-on't know!!!

A big crack on the floor cracks open into a giant hole. All the Goombas except King Goomba fall in.

King Goomba: It's happening.

Mario: Pepperonni angry peppers mushrooms all the time! PEPPERONNI ANGRY PEPPERS MUSHROOMS ALL THE TIME!

Bombelle: W-what is i-it?

King Goomba: It's-

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Petey: Mostly all of this story is brought to you by Petey's Pizza Palace!

Bob-omb: And by TVs Toddlers.

Petey: You sell High Definition Flat Screen TVs for toddlers?

Bob-omb: Maybe.

???: And this story is brought to you by Peach's Resources.

Shy Guy: We gave the author the idea of the Chef Shy Guy's mask being taken off.

Bob-omb: What company are YOU from?

ShyGuy: "Shy Guys, Unmasked! The Movie".

Bob-omb: Oh.

Elmo: But mostly, this story was brought to you by... Sesame Street!

Petey: No it isn't!

Elmo: At the beginning of this whole story, I appeared on Mario's TV! You guys didn't even come before that time.

Bob-omb: What about his TV? You wouldn't have appeared without our TVs!

Petey: You guys are all forgetting, my Pizza Palace has a bigger role in the movie then all of you combined!

Everyone Else: NO IT DOESN'T!

Everyone starts fighting over who's the best.

Announcer: Mostly, this story was brought to you by the author.

Petey: **********!!!

Bob-omb: I have never heard such language!

END OF THE COMMERCIAL

Goombella: The author must be an expert of suspense...

King Goomba: It's...

Bombelle: Well?

King Goomba: It's...

Goombella: SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!

King Goomba: It's... something.

Bombelle and Goombella stay standing quietly while the ground shakes and Mario sings. 2 minutes later...

Goombella: It's something?

King Goomba: Yes.

Bombelle: You have no idea what it is, do you?

King Goomba: It's pretty obvious by now.

A Giant Para-Spiny-Ghost-Paper-Tiny-Goomba comes out of the hole.

Bombelle: How can it be giant and tiny at the same time?

I dunno.

Goombella: He may be an expert of suspense, but he's not good with logic.

Be quiet or you get squished.

Goombella: How will I get squished?

I'm the author, I can make whatever I want happen to you.

Goombella: Point taken.

Giant Para-Spiny-Ghost-Paper-Tiny Goomba: King! We need you to be complete! See the space on my head? Jump in and we'll be complete!

King Goomba: Ok!

Jet Packs come out of King Goomba's back, and he flies up and into the space. White lights start coming out of the Giant Para-Spiny-Ghost-Paper-Tiny Goomba. A long, white flash filling the whole room with light is seen.

Bombelle and Goombella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Mario: Pizza PizzaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Meanwhile, at Petey's Pizza Palace...

Luigi: I'm really sorry about the holdup, but you guys gotta calm down! And Keroh, your iShroom is on fire.

Keroh looks down at his iShroom in his pocket.

Keroh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Keroh takes out the iShroom and throws it at a random Bob-omb.

Bob-omb: Uh oh.

The Bob-omb explodes and a bunch of burning cutomers run out of Petey's Pizza Palace.

Petey: Are you guys almost done yet?

Chef Boo: Yes, just one more pepperonni!

Chef Shy Guy: You can do the honors!

Chef Boo: Ok!

Chef Boo slowly and dramatically reaches over the pizza with a pepperonni in his hand.

Chef Shy Guy: C'mon...

Chef Boo slowly lowers his hand.

Petey: C'mon...

Chef Boo is still lowering his hand.

Luigi: C'mon...

Chef Boo's stops moving his hand. He slowly opens up his hand.

Petey: Go any slower and the Shy Guy's mask is taken off!

Chef Shy Guy: AAH! Hurry it up, Chef Boo!

Chef Boo lets go of the pepperonni and the pepperonni drops onto the pizza.

Petey, Chef Shy Guy, and Luigi: Finally!

Petey picks up the pizza and puts it on a table. Luigi walks over to the table and sits down.

Luigi: Finally, my extra-giant-largely-large-extra-large pizza with pepperonni, angry peppers, mushrooms ALL the time, and cheese-stuffed crust is finished. The line of customers is going smoothly now, and I still have a lot of Mario's college fund left over.

Luigi is about to take his first bite, but the pizza vanishes for no apparent reason.

Meanwhile, wherever Charlie the Goomba is...

Charlie: WHY WON'T YOU SAY POLO?! SAY POLO ALREADY! PLEEASE, HIGH DEFINITION FLAT SCREEN TV, SAY POLO!!! Maybe it didn't hear me the first time. MARCO!!!

Charlie bumps into the front door of Mario's house and the door creaks open.

Charlie: Hmm...

Charlie goes inside.

Charlie: HIGH DEFINITION FLAT SCREEN TV! I'VE FOUND YOU!

Charlie runs over to the High Definition Flat Screen TV and turns it on. He gets on the couch and grabs the remote.

Charlie: (while flipping through channels) Seen it, seen it, haven't seen it... but boring, seen it, seen it, seen it... Oooh! New episode of Hypnotic Sesame Street!

Elmo (on TV with hypnotic eyes and a swirling background behind him): You will watch this show everyday. You will tell others to watch this show everyday. If they refuse, DESTROY THEM!

Charlie: I will watch this show everyday. I'll tell others to watch this show everyday. If they refuse, I will destroy them.

Elmo: Yes, YES! I WILL TAKEOVER THE WORLD! MUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Charlie: Yes, yes. He will takeover the world. Muaaahahahahahahahahahahaaaahaahahahahaaaaa.

Elmo: Shut up.

Charlie: Shut up.

Back to Mario, Goombella, and Bombelle...

The white flash goes away.

Mario: I'm blind O_O

Bombelle: I can't believe that the white flash took over two minutes to go away.

Goombella: Must be something really important.

They see that the giant hole is gone. There's a small, green box on the floor.

Bombelle: There's a little sign on that box.

Goombella: What does it say?

They walk up to the box.

Mario: "DO NOT OPEN! Millions of Goombas in box."

Bombelle: So, how do we defeat them?

Goombella: Hmm...

2 minutes later...

Mario: I know!

Mario jumps on the box and the box explodes.

Goombella: So where did they go?

Bombelle: I think they went into an endless vortex of continuing and desolate space.

Mario: You talk funny words.

In an endless vortex of continuing and desolate space...

King Goomba: So, we just float around here for the rest of our lives?

Spiny Goomba: I guess so.

A cow wearing a sombrero flys by.

Ghost Goomba: Woah.

Back to the 3 heroes...

Mario: So... Who's up for pizza?

At Petey's Pizza Palace...

Luigi is still sitting in his seat with his mouth open. A fly flies into his mouth.

Petey: Luigi, are you okay? We can make you another one if you want.

Chef Boo and Chef Shy Guy: NO!!!

The Snifit cook bursts through the door.

Snifit Cook: Hey, guys. I'm sorry for leaving at a time of need, so I made one of The Usual to make up for it.

Petey grabs the pizza and takes it to Luigi's table.

Petey: Eat up.

The fly flies out of Luigi's mouth.

Luigi: Huh? Oh, okay.

Luigi eats the pizza... in 17 seconds.

Petey: Wow.

Chef Shy Guy: Well, we finished The Usual, set angry customers on fire, and regained peace in this Pizza Palace, and my mask never got ripped off.

Petey: I wish I could've taken off his mask. Oh, why not.

Petey walks over to Chef Shy Guy and rips off his mask. Gasping is heard.

Petey: So THAT'S what it looks like...

So, in the end, everything turned out fine. Mario, Goombella, and Bombelle went back home, Luigi got home, and Charlie found the High Definition Flat Screen TV.

At Mario's house, Mario has arrived and sees Charlie.

Mario: Hey, my house is still a wreck... and there's a Goomba on my couch, watching MY TV! Hey, YOU! What're you doing here?

Charlie: Watchin' TV.

Mario: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Charlie gets off the couch and slowly walks out the door.

Iggy: *sniff* That was a great, sappy ending.

Don't you mean happy ending?

Iggy: No, I ment sappy.

Whatever.

This whole story brought to you by...

Petey: ME!

Bob-omb: ME!

Elmo: ME!

Shy Guy: ME!

???: Us!

Uh, this story was brought to you by... a bunch of companies. But mostly me.

The End

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