Author’s Note:
I had this radical idea, which was inspired by exposure to a couple of
gender-bending fan art and fan fiction. Although gender-bending isn’t my
style, I was exposed to the concept enough times that my mind was begging
to use it (once an idea bugs me, it never stops unless I get it out on
paper). My long-time obsession with Ludwig von Koopa was re-kindled around
the same time I was listening to my Garbage CD. As I listened to Garbage’s
music, I looked at Ludwig’s hair… and thought to myself, “Hey, I’ve seen
plenty of punk-rock girl singers with hairstyles like this.” So, I began
drawing fan art of a feminized Ludwig von Koopa … and named her Lydia Manson
(after Garbage’s lead singer, Shirley Manson). As I did more drawings of
Lydia Manson, I got another itching idea to do a Ludwig von Koopa fan fiction,
featuring Lydia Manson. Then I read other people’s Ludwig von Koopa fanfics
and watched episodes of Super Mario Bros. 3 for reference materials in
order to form a structure for this idea, so it wouldn’t appear ridiculously
radical. This is my first attempt doing a Ludwig von Koopa fan fiction.
Mario and his twin brother, Luigi, were atop Kappa Mountain, looking down at the view of Dinosaur Land… when suddenly a piece of paper blew into Mario’s face, blinding his view. He pulled it away to view its contents. His blue eyes widened with surprise and he motioned his brother to take a look.
Vanilla Dome presents
TRASH MOUTHS
Newest Reptile
Rock Band
In Dinosaur Land
Led by reptile
front-woman
Lydia Manson
First live performance
held inside
The Vanilla Dome
Caverns
6PM this Friday
“A rock concert?” Luigi gasped. “In Dinosaur Land?”
The two Brothers repeatedly skimmed the paper’s contents. They gave each other puzzled looks. What kind of rock band would hold their first performance in a place like Dinosaur Land? The Brothers decided to report the news to Princess Peach.
They reached Donut Plains, where they ran into more pieces of paper taped on wooden signposts. It turned out to be copies of the same piece of paper that the Mario Brothers found. They spotted Yoshi, who was reading one of the copies on the signposts. He looked back at the Mario Brothers and pointed at the posters. “I heard talk about a Lydia Manson,” he told them. “Who is she?”
“What did you hear?” asked Mario.
Yoshi shrugged his shoulders. “That she’s a looker, a bookworm, and a songwriter.”
“Have you seen her?” asked Luigi.
Yoshi shook his head. “But some of the guys have.”
Mario and Luigi exchanged looks. A reptile songwriter? Something about that notion seemed oddly familiar, as if it was someone they knew.
“Does Princess Peach know about this?” asked Mario.
Yoshi nodded. “She told me about it.”
Suddenly, Mario
overheard many of the cavepeople and dinosaurs conversing over the matter.
Who was this Lydia Manson? The two Brothers and Yoshi knew that there was
only one way to find out…
The Vanilla Dome Caverns was packed like an overstuffed suitcase. This surprised both Mario and Luigi. Was this Lydia Manson really that good?! As if in reply to their question, the band members appeared atop the plateau, where their instruments and sound-system were set up. Mario studied each one of the reptilian band members. The guitarist and keyboard player were two skinny dinosaurs that looked somewhat identical. They had rainbow-colored Mohawk hair, except the guitarist wore glasses. The drummer was a tall, bulky lizard with dark scales and a star-patch on his left cheek.
Mario rubbed his chin. Had he seen those dinosaur creatures before? Then another one appeared. A tall, orange-tan lizard girl dressed in Gothic attire slowly approached center-stage. Mario’s eye popped out. That reptile Goth must’ve been Lydia Manson, the talk of the entire town. She had eyes of the deepest blue sapphire, surrounded by thick, black eyelashes. Her blue hair was fashioned in a punk-rock style, covering half her face. Her figure was slim yet muscular, as if she had worked out in a gym. Her gaze was subtle, yet it was enough to make cavemen and dinosaur guys whistle like lunatic birds. Now Mario realized why the Dinosaur Land citizens described her as a looker. Words couldn’t even describe this surprising beauty. But Mario began to notice something else. Lydia had a green face and a small yet prominent buck-tooth fang. The plumber nudged his brother’s arm, pointing at the girl.
“Woah!” Luigi gasped. “That is one distinguished, gorgeous reptile!”
Mario nodded. “A little too distinguished, if you ask me.”
“What do you mean?” Luigi replied in a slightly surprised tone.
Before Mario could discuss the matter further, the girl known as Lydia Manson waved her arm to the band members. The music commenced, producing a heavy and gothic flavor.
“Come down
to my house
Stick a stone
in your mouth …
You can always
pull out
If you like
it too much”
Mario and Luigi’s ears perked up at the sound that was escaped the singer’s throat. Her voice was a deep contralto range with a soft, sultry edge that tingled the ears like a cat’s purr. The Bothers exchanged surprised looks. “That voice!” Mario gasped. “There’s something about that!”
The Mario Brothers’ conversation was interrupted again by a loud blast of guitars.
“Make a WHOLE
new religion!
A falling
star that you
CANNOT LIVE
WITHOUT!
And I’ll FEED
your obsessions!
There’ll be
NOTHING but this
Thing that
you’ll NEVER doubt!”
Lydia Manson’s voice soft voice suddenly shifted to a loud, unearthly blast. Frequently the singer’s volume shifted, forcing the Mario Brothers to keep their focus on her. They were bedazzled by this new sound and forgot their previous discussion. Guitar blasts and heavy drumming was suddenly accompanied by bright color and shooting fireballs (likely some stage effect. Some male reptiles in the crowd raised their hands to the stage above them, as if to reach out and touch her. “Hey, she’s pretty good,” Luigi whispered to Mario. “She’s a hit with the audience already.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Mario nodded. Nevertheless, he ruffled his brown hair curiously. Something about Lydia looked familiar to him. But the more he tried to figure it out, the more puzzled he became.
“BOW down to
me…
BOW down to
me!”
The audience began
to dance obsessively as the band continued to play. Thunderous applause
echoed throughout the caverns; many male reptiles climbed to the
stage area. Mario and Luigi simply stared at the audience’s behavior in
wonder.
After the concert ended, Mario and Luigi went backstage in search of Lydia Manson. They half-expected to find her signing autographs. But she was nowhere to be found. The Brothers walked out of the Vanilla Dome Caverns, when they suddenly got the feeling they were being followed. Both Brothers turned around… and saw Lydia Manson. She carried her high-heeled shoes under her left arm while walking barefoot in the grass. Her gaze focused not on them but at the horizon, as if she was setting out on a long journey. Mario and Luigi stopped short, only to watch her every move. Only once before passing them did Lydia look straight at Mario… and winked her blue eye at him.
“Did you see that?!” gasped Luigi. “She winked at you!”
Mario nodded as he scratched his head. “I don’t get it… Why would she wink at me?”
Luigi rubbed his chin curiously at his brother’s expression. “And that confuses you?”
“I don’t know,”
replied Mario. “Neither of us have seen her before, and yet… I feel as
if we know her somehow.”
Little did the Mario Brothers realize that behind a rock-pile, Lydia Manson was listening to their conversation. But she was not alone. She was accompanied by a small, blue-haired Koopaling half her height.
“You certainly knocked them down at the concert tonight!” said the Koopaling.
“But this was NOT supposed to be my role,” Lydia replied, heaving an exasperated sigh. “Wendy was supposed to be the one singing at the concert tonight… NOT me!”
Lydia was not what she seemed. She was not a singer or a looker. She wasn’t even a female. Lydia Manson was none other than Ludwig von Koopa, in disguise. The Koopaling opposite him was his youngest brother, Larry Koopa.
“We had no other choice,” replied Larry with a defensive shrug. “Wendy’s sick, and finding another female didn’t pan out either.”
Ludwig, in his newly-shaped female form, slumped against the rock pile wearily. He grasped tufts of his blue hair in frustration. “How disgusting!” he complained. “I HATE having to blast this phony voice into the microphone until I’m weary, then deal with infatuated guys grabbing me, pinching my hips, or blowing kisses at me. It’s NOT my style.”
“I don’t know,” Larry replied with a teasing smile. “You make a good-looking girl.”
“SHUT UP!” Ludwig cried as he threw one high-heeled shoe at his brother.
Larry giggled as he dodged the shoe. “You’re even more convincing when you get angry.”
Larry’s giggle ceased when he felt a tight grip on his arms. Ludwig had clasped both arms and twisted them, causing Larry to panic and wince in pain. Ludwig’s growl made him sweat. “This is a warning,” Ludwig uttered through clenched fangs. “The next time you mock me, I’ll take the wand and turn YOU into a girl!”
“Ow… ok, ok!” Larry spat out. “Calm down!”
Ludwig loosened his grip on Larry, letting him fall onto the grass. He took a few deep breaths before he spoke again. “Now leave me.”
Larry said not a word but ran away, rubbing at his sore arms.
Ludwig propped his aching feet upon a rock as he lay down and contemplated. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. He thought about that one night, when he was secluded in his quarters. King Bowser Koopa was resting and had left Ludwig in charge. He was in a slump and couldn’t come up with any ideas for his projects … not even a lousy one. His garbage can overflowed with torn-up construction plans and crinkled musical scores. He didn’t know what to do. He came out of his room to join his younger siblings (which was the last thing he wanted). They were watching rock videos on TV while passing around a poster of a famous rock band. Overhearing them, Ludwig asked to take a look at the poster. He suddenly came up with an idea: a BRILLIANT idea to take over Dinosaur Land right from under the cave citizens’ noses. Therefore, he went straight to work, obsessively writing musical scores… and even letting his annoying siblings take part in it.
The Koopalings were to create a rock band as a plausible diversion for the citizens of Dinosaur Land. As Ludwig von Koopa realized how people could get so wrapped up in the glitter of fandom, the band would keep the citizens so distracted that they wouldn’t pay attention to anything else. And in Dinosaur Land, a rock band performance was particularly rare, which was even better. Ludwig von Koopa would write the songs, Iggy would play the guitar, Lemmy would play the keyboards and synthesizer, Morton Jr. would play the drums, and Wendy would be the singer (and lure the Mario Brothers into a trap with her feminine ways). They would promote themselves for the first two weeks to avoid suspicion. And by the end of the second week, while the band played for the audience, Larry and Roy would kidnap Princess Peach and send an army of Paragoombas to destroy everything in sight. This would leave the Dinosaur Land citizens without shelter or food. They would be forced to serve the Royal Koopa family … as slaves. Ludwig lavished at the idea. It was absolutely perfect! The best idea he’d ever come up with!
Then Wendy O. Koopa was suddenly stricken with laryngitis, leaving the Koopalings in a fix. Ludwig was then forced to send for female reptile singers to take Wendy’s place. But none of them could sing. One in particular had a voice that sounded like a cat with stomach cramps. It was so awful that Ludwig thought his eardrums would shatter. Everything seemed hopeless. “If we can’t find another front woman,” Ludwig began, “then we can kiss this idea goodbye.”
No sooner had Ludwig said this than Larry replied, “Maybe we don’t have to find another one.”
Larry’s response made Ludwig stop short. What did his brother mean by that? Then Ludwig noticed that his younger siblings were staring right at him in a devious manner. This started to make Ludwig nervous. What were they thinking? Before he could protest, Morton Koopa Jr. snatched a wand from the rack and shot its magic directly at him. Ludwig suddenly felt a burning pain surge throughout his body. His vocal chords felt like they were on fire. His body levitated into the air. What was happening to him?! His mind went in a panic as he felt his sides being squeezed. But the pain suddenly disappeared as if flicked off by a light switch. He found himself on his knees, shivering cold. “What was the meaning of that, Morton Koopa Jr?!”
Ludwig paused as he replayed what he thought he just heard. It was a voice, he realized. A voice that he didn’t recognize. It sounded silky and feminine. He looked up at his siblings, who now stared at him with appalled looks. “What was that?” he asked them. There it was again! That same silk voice he heard before. It was coming out of his mouth! But why? Then Larry suddenly handed him a mirror and ran out of the room. Ludwig raised it up to look at his reflection, but didn’t recognize the face that stared back at him. It had blue hair like him, but it was longer, particularly in the bangs, which covered half his face. It had a green face like him, but the eyes were deep blue, surrounded by thick, black eyelashes. When Ludwig finally realized what had happened to him, he let out a terrified scream …
Just then, Ludwig,
in his newfound female form, returned from contemplation. He had been turned
into a woman to take Wendy’s place. He spent a great deal of time practicing
the songs with his new feminine voice (much to his discontent). His younger
brothers helped to develop a back-story on Lydia Manson and Trash Mouths.
Wendy fixed his hair and makeup as she taught him the ins-and-outs of the
female culture. The whole thing made him wince. This had been the most
embarrassing moment of his life. “I’m stuck as this,” he
sighed. “If I knew this would happen, I would’ve kept my big mouth
shut…”
Mario and Luigi hung out on Yoshi’s Island, helping themselves to the berries on the trees. Nevertheless, neither one of them could forget the night of the concert. And there were more that followed. The Brothers learned more about Lydia Manson through word-of-mouth from the Dinosaur Land citizens. Some said she spent time alone near Soda Lake, playing the violin or writing in a diary. Other rumors indicated that Lydia worked on machinery and devices (she was spotted fixing her band’s sound system without any assistance). The more Mario heard, the more the details bothered him.
Suddenly, a distant noise that sounded like a violin interrupted their thoughts. The Brothers and Yoshi realized that it came from the edge of the island. They spotted what looked like the back of a lizard-like creature with long, blue hair.
“Is that who I think it is?” asked Mario.
In response to his question, the lizard stopped playing the violin and turned its head. A pair of deep blue eyes met their gaze.
“It’s Lydia Manson!” Luigi blurted.
In response to her name, Lydia rose to her feet. She wore a white T-shirt that bore her portrait and exposed her stomach line and faded, loose-fitting jeans. The Mario Brothers and Yoshi ran toward her. She made no attempt to move.
“Yes?” she uttered.
Mario pointed at her violin. “Where did you learn to play the violin?”
“My father taught me,” Lydia replied nonchalantly. “Shall I play some more?”
“Um, no, that’s ok,” Mario replied politely. “We just want to ask you a few questions.”
“Is that all?” said Lydia with a smile. “Then go ahead.”
“Where are you from?” Mario began. “We’ve never seen you in Dinosaur Land before your concert.”
“From Pipe Land,” she replied with ease. “We were starving street performers. Broken pipes, rusty wrenches, and empty trashcans were our instruments. Remnants found in a dumpster.”
“Is that how you got the name Trash Mouths?” asked Luigi.
Lydia nodded. “I was their voice and lyricist. I even made the instruments.”
Mario pointed at her violin. “How were you able to afford that violin if you were starving?”
“It was a gift from my father,” Lydia answered. “Pretty, isn’t it? Let the bow sail upon its strings like a ship on water, and its sounds will imprison you. Your mind plummets like the London Bridge while the sound takes your spirit on eagle’s wings.”
Yoshi looked at Mario and Luigi with a confused expression. The two Brothers were somewhat bewildered by the strange words that escaped from Lydia’s mouth. Realizing what she had said, Lydia blushed in a coy manner. “Ehmm… My father was a poet and philosopher. He taught me all I know.”
“What made you come to Dinosaur Land?” Mario included.
Lydia leaned against a dome-like mound, heaving a sigh. “It was my group’s idea,” she answered. “The local males in Pipe Land made passes at me. My group figured that a land with less people would suffice for my sake. My group’s overly protective of me, but I know how to defend myself.”
The Mario Brothers had no more questions. Assuming that the conversation was over, Lydia picked up her violin and walked toward a warp pipe. She only looked back once. “I must leave you now. I must practice for my next concert.”
Before the Brothers and Yoshi could stop her, Lydia had disappeared into the warp pipe. The two Brothers’ and Yoshi’s sights remained fixed on where Lydia once stood. It was only a few seconds before Luigi found his tongue again. “Do you believe her story, Brother?”
“I don’t know,” Mario uttered uncertainly. “She’s very convincing, but that sneaky feeling still hasn’t left me.”
Luigi shrugged his shoulders. “She was all right with our questions.”
“That’s what bothers me,” said Mario. “She’s a little too calm. And why would a rock group come to a small place like Dinosaur Land to make it big? They’d have a better chance in a city like Pipe Land where there’s more people.”
“So what are you saying?” asked Luigi.
Mario crossed
his arms. “I say we keep an eye on her.”
While the audience raved at the splendor the band’s front woman had brought to them, the Mario Brothers and Yoshi stayed alert. This time, the band held their concert atop Cookie Mountain. Lydia Manson, now dressed in more casual attire, approached the microphone like a cat approaching a stranger. Mario focused his attention on the lizard Goth, who seemed to take notice by meeting his gaze. It was as if she knew that Mario was watching her. Before Mario could utter a sound, the band began to play their song.
“You BURNED
me out but I’m back at your door,
Like Joan
of Arc coming back for more!
I nearly died…I
nearly died…I nearly died…
I came to
CUT YOU UP!
I came to
KNOCK YOU DOWN!
I came around
to TEAR YOUR LITTLE WORLD APART!
I came to
SHUT YOU UP!
I came to
DRAG YOU DOWN!
I came around
to TEAR YOUR LITTLE WORLD APART!
…And break
your soul apart…”
The audience responded with dance and cheer. But Lydia’s gaze remained fixed on Mario. The chubby plumber’s unwillingness to look away became less. The lyrics poured out of the singer’s mouth like raindrops of daggers, meant to pin him down.
“You bled and
burned to get under my skin!
You’ve gone
too far now I won’t give in.
You CRUCIFIED
me but I’m BACK IN YOUR BED,
Like Jesus
Christ, coming back from the dead!”
As if the singer beckoned him, Mario climbed up Cookie Mountain to get closer to the band. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to get closer to Lydia. He kept his gaze fixed on her while Lydia turned her gaze toward the audience down below. Why did she stare at him, he wondered? As he reached the top, he felt a clawed grip on his collar that took him by surprise. The next thing he knew, he found himself nose to nose with the lizard Goth. The singer’s next verse was like fists upon a punching bag. Her voice was a fist… and Mario was the punching bag.
“I came to
CUT YOU UP
I came to
KNOCK YOU DOWN
I came around
to TEAR YOUR LITTLE WORLD APART
I came to
SHUT YOU UP
I came to
SUCK YOU DOWN
I came around
to TEAR YOUR LITTLE WORLD APART…!
… And break
your soul apart…”
As her voice softened,
she gently placed the plumber back on his feet. She released her clawed
grip, allowing Mario to descend back down with the audience.
Lydia and her band remained a while after the concert to sign autographs for adoring fans. The Brothers and Yoshi waited until the folks were gone. What was that Lydia Manson up to? As the citizens left, so did the band members. Only Lydia Manson and a male dinosaur remained. The creature wrapped his arm around Lydia’s waist, drawing her closer. Lydia turned her head away, repulsed by the reptile’s gesture.
“Hey, gorgeous,” said the reptile. “How about a kiss?”
“Only if you close your eyes,” Lydia replied with a small voice. The reptile obliged and puckered his lips, only to receive a hard punch to the jaw. “There’s your kiss!” Mortified by the blow he received, the reptile ran away. “And the next time you try that again, buster, you’ll be prey to my inventions!”
Lydia’s angry response left the Brothers and Yoshi speechless. This lizard Goth had a terrible temper! When they found their tongues again, Luigi nudged his brother’s arm. “Did she say inventions?” asked Luigi.
Before Mario could answer, Lydia climbed down Cookie Mountain and ran off… but not before winking at Mario again.
“She’s heading into the Forest of Illusions,” Mario pointed. “Follow her!”
When the Brothers and Yoshi ran into the forest, Lydia was nowhere to be seen. The rustling sound of creatures in the trees were heard. They stopped short to listen, only for the sound to fade into nothing.
“Wait a minute,” Mario whispered. “Could it be that she wanted us to follow her?”
“What do you mean?” asked Luigi.
“Think about it,” said Mario. “What blue-hair, bucktoothed creature do we know that’s musically inclined, fixes and makes inventions, and uses big words?”
Before Luigi could think of an answer, he felt something pull upward by the ankles. He looked up and discovered that a tree vine had encircled itself around his body. Luigi attempted to wriggle out of it, but the vine began to squeeze his body. Luigi looked around to find Mario and Yoshi… and saw that they were in the same fix. Suddenly, a maniacal laugh echoed in the forest. Mario looked in the direction of the sound. Lydia Manson was approaching toward them with a wand in her hand.
“You’re clever, Mario,” she chortled. “But not clever enough!”
“What’s the meaning of this, Miss Manson?!”
“Miss?!” Lydia spat out in a fitful of laughter. “Didn’t you know, silly plumber?!”
Lydia placed the tip of her wand on her head, blinding her prisoners with white light. Suddenly, the lizard’s voice began to change. It turned from a woman’s laughter into a shrill, maniacal cackle of a young boy. When the light dimmed and faded, the Brothers and Yoshi saw an image that made them gape in horrified realization. No longer was there a tall, lizard woman. In her place stood a short, thirteen-year-old Koopaling.
“Ludwig von Koopa?!” Luigi gasped.
The Koopaling looked up at his prisoners with a mischievous grin. “Surprised?!”
“Not really,” replied Mario, shaking his head. “I knew there was something funny the moment I saw you.”
“But you were unsure,” Ludwig pointed out. He stood upon a rock and held the wand like a scepter. “You even second-guessed yourself when you saw me on Yoshi’s Island by asking all those questions. It was a good thing I invented the story of Lydia in case anyone got suspicious.”
“What is your scheme this time, Ludwig von Koopa?!” asked Mario.
Ludwig smiled as he leaned his head on the wand. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
While Ludwig cackled at his gloat of victory, he tipped the wand to his head and transformed back into Lydia Manson. He turned back only once to speak to Mario in a feminine voice. “I commend you, Mario, for your street-wise intuitions while indulging my performances. It’s a shame those intuitions led you into my trap so easily.”
Lydia walked away as her laughter echoed like that of a fairy-tale witch.
The Mario Brothers tried to break free of the bonds that held them. But their attempts kept backfiring as the vines strangled their bodies.
“These… vines…” Mario uttered in a gasping tone. “It looks like… the more we struggle… the more they strangle us.”
“So… what should we… do?” Luigi replied.
“Stay still and think.”
As those words escaped Mario’s lips, the vines’ grip loosened. He spotted a Wiggler crawling on the ground. He noticed that the cage wasn’t too far away. “Can you catch that Wiggler with your tongue, Yoshi?” he asked.
“Yes…” Yoshi replied feebly, realizing what Mario had in mind.
“Just don’t swallow it.”
Without a minute to spare, Yoshi shot out his sticky tongue upon the Wiggler. Then he spat the creature out to the tip of the vine. The Wiggler gnawed at each vine one by one, releasing the prisoners from their bonds.
“Now to stop Ludwig
von Koopa,” Mario concluded. “I have a plan …”
The night of Trash Mouths’s final concert came close at hand. Little did they realize that Yoshi and the Brothers had discovered the details of Ludwig’s plan upon hearing Larry’s and Roy’s conversation (as they watched their transformed brother from behind a giant rock). The Brothers took the two Koopalings by surprise, tied them up, and went to Peach’s castle to warn her about Ludwig’s plan. She then had the Koopalings placed in a prison cell, and used the wand to disguise herself as a Yoshi.
Disguised as Magikoopas, the three headed for Cookie Mountain. All of Dinosaur Land’s citizens crowded the grounds. Lydia Manson waved to her applauding fans as she waited for the band to appear. When the band members arrived, Lydia lifted her magic wand. Mario signaled his brother and Yoshi to put on the earplugs so the spell wouldn’t affect them.
“I’m only happy
when it rains.
I’m only happy
when it’s complicated
And though
I know you can’t appreciate it,
I‘m only happy
when it rains.
You know I
love it when the news is bad.
Why it feels
so
good to feel so sad?
I’m only happy
when it rains.”
The crowd suddenly began to dance in a euphoric frenzy. The spell was taking place. Yoshi and the Brothers (with their earplugs on) mimicked the audience to avoid suspicion. Mario nudged his brother’s arm and pointed to the warp pipe across Cheese Bridge.
“Pour your
misery down,
Pour your
misery down on me.
Pour your
misery down,
Pour your
misery down on me…”
Luigi darted across the bridge to the warp pipe. He peeked at Lydia and her band from behind. They appeared to be completely unaware that he’d dashed out from the crowd. Without wasting a second, Luigi pulled out a wand and shot a bolt of magic above Lydia’s head. The magic blast suddenly turned into a big, dark cloud.
“I only smile
in the dark…
My only comfort
is the night gone black.
I didn’t accidentally
tell you that
I’m only happy
when it rains.
You’ll get
the message by the time I’m through,
When I complain
about me and you.
I’m only happy
when it rains …
Pour your
misery down…”
As if on cue, the cloud expanded and released a large shower of rain. The heavy downpour interrupted Lydia’s performance, making her hair and clothing sopping wet. Sudden blasts of electricity from the sound equipment erupted, ceasing the music entirely. The audience broke out of their euphoria. A series of screams escaped from their mouths at the horror that beheld their eyes. Bursts of flame consumed the stage equipment. Lydia and her band had already backed away to distance themselves. Only pieces of burning paper flew away in the wind.
“My music…” Lydia uttered in a distraught tone. She jumped to grab the charred fragments of what used to be her compositions. Upon the realization of her destroyed work, Lydia let out a horrified cry. “NOOOO!!!” She clutched the shreds of paper against her chest in hopes they would comfort her wounded pride. But a sudden outcry among the crowd interrupted her thoughts.
“That singer is a phony!”
Mario and his allies ran to the foot of Cookie Mountain… and his finger was pointed in her direction. “That creature is Ludwig von Koopa!” Mario accused. “He’s been hoaxing all of you so he could have your homes destroyed and make you his slaves!”
The mortified stare of the audience shot at her like giant bullets. The plan had failed. His music was destroyed and he was discovered. Regaining her kingly pride, Lydia stood still and inhaled through her nose until a burning sensation formed inside his stomach. When the audience reached the mountain ledge, Lydia spat out a gust of flame, sending them tumbling back to the ground. Unfortunately, the fire was diminished by the heavy rain. Her brothers (still disguised as band members) fought to keep the audience at a distance, allowing Lydia to climb down Cookie Mountain and escape through the Forest of Illusions. But as her high-healed boot came in contact with the ladder’s step, Lydia lost her footing and fell onto her left leg with an earth-splitting crash. A sharp stab of pain suddenly pierced his leg. Lydia realized that the hard fall had broken her leg. He couldn’t stand up without wincing.
“Get that phony singer!”
The sound of Mario’s outcry forced Lydia to turn her gaze. Her brothers were outnumbered and captured by the crowd. Now they were heading in her direction. She spotted a large stick and raised himself up as he hobbled away into the forest. She allowed her eyes to dart around in hopes of finding a warp pipe back to Dark Land. Suddenly, Lydia felt something prickly wrap around his arms and pull him forward, losing his sense of equilibrium. A thorn-covered vine had bound Lydia by her arms. Drops of blood trickled down her skin.
“It’s all over, Ludwig von Koopa!”
Lydia turned her head to face her rival. A maniacal chuckle escaped her throat as she panted from exhaustion and pain. “Oh, you’re good, Mario!” she spat out sarcastically. “You’ve torn the web I’ve spun with genius hands… That takes a lot of doing… But that doesn’t mean I’ll throw myself at your mercy!”
Mario motioned for the rest of the Dinosaur Land citizens to return to their homes. Only his brother and Yoshi remained at his side, holding Lydia’s brothers hostage. “We don’t expect you to, Prince von Koopa,” said Mario. “That’s why I used this wand on that vine to trap you. The same magic you used when you trapped us in the vines.”
Upon hearing this, Lydia attempted to free herself from his bonds, but the vines responded by squeezing her arms. She let out an agonizing cry as the thorns dug deeper into her skin. Only when he remained still did the pressure reduce itself. “Curse you, Mario!” cried Lydia. “If it weren’t for my broken leg, I’d be able to stand and fight! My father will hear of this!”
“Your father can hear whatever he wants,” Mario replied nonchalantly. “Now hold still!”
The defeated lizard Goth remained silent as Mario pointed the wand in her direction. A blast of light erupted from its globe, landing squarely on Lydia’s chest. When the light disappeared, Ludwig von Koopa stood in her place. The vine that bound his arms disappeared, allowing the Koopaling to land softly on his side. At the same time, Luigi and Yoshi released his brothers and changed them back to their original shapes. Iggy and Lemmy ran off to find a warp pipe while Morton carried the injured Ludwig over his shoulder. “Easy on my leg, Morton!” Ludwig complained as Morton’s grip on his left leg made him wince.
“Princess Peach has Larry and Roy locked up in her castle,” Mario informed Ludwig. “She will send them back to Dark Land.”
An exasperated sigh escaped Ludwig’s throat. “I congratulate you, Mario,” he uttered in a defeated tone, “for taking me by surprise as you ruined my concert.”
“And we congratulate you, Ludwig,” Luigi replied, “for using such a clever disguise. You sure had everyone fooled.”
Ludwig chuckled
in bewildered amusement as Morton Jr. took him to meet up with Lemmy and
Iggy at the warp pipe.
Ludwig von Koopa awoke the next day to find himself in his own quarters with his leg propped up in a cast. When his younger siblings had brought him back to Dark Land, they informed Bowser Koopa of the events that took place. Although he was dissatisfied by the failure of Ludwig’s plans, Bowser had his son taken to the infirmary, under the care of the royal doctors and nurses. Ludwig was to remain in his room under the care of servants until his leg got better. Although he knew he had to suffer the humiliation of his father’s lectures and his siblings’ teasing, Ludwig was content to be alone in his room. It allowed him to write ideas for future projects in his journal in peace. And the events of his previous plan provided him with plenty.
“I thank you, Mario,” Ludwig snickered silently, “for curing my composer’s block. Now I’ll have a better plan to deal with you … Once and for all.”
As Ludwig wrote obsessively in his journal, he thought about Lydia Manson. He remembered how bedazzled the audience was of her concerts… and how gullible the Mario Brothers had been when she lured them in The Forest of Illusions. Although he was never fond of playing a female role, he was more than pleased at how much Lydia had taken on a life of her own. It was just the kind of idea he needed for his next plot. He would compose an opera, to be held in the Mushroom Kingdom. A female opera singer would be the puppet he’d use to lure Mario into a trap: a human-like female, created from the sorcery of Kamek the Magikoopa. And the Mario Brothers wouldn’t suspect a thing.
“I will triumph over you, Mario Brothers,” Ludwig vowed. “No matter how long it takes… I will triumph…”
The End
-“Supervixen”,
“Vow”, and “I’m Only Happy When it Rains” are copyright 1995 by Garbage.
-Lydia Manson
is copyright 2006 by Leila Acevedo (aka Reyelene).
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