Chapter 3: Troubles in Hyrule
G.G: Wow. Everything is so green here.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Yeah, this is an odd place to have something as powerful as the Triforce, but anyway, Koopa 13, where is the Triforce thing located?
Koopa 13: There are three people who possess Triforce pieces, and they are Zelda, Link, and Ganondorf.
G.G: So all we gotta do is find those three and we get the Triforce? Sounds like a plan. Let's look for this Link guy. Wait, who is this Link guy?
Koopa 13: Link dresses in a green dress and wears a hood.
G.G: Shouldn’t be hard to find.
They spot Link passing by on his horse.
G.G: How are we supposed to catch him?
Koopa 13: We could ride on Chompy. I bet he is quick and strong.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Before they can do anything, Link is attacked by Rabbids that beat him to a pulp and run off laughing.
G.G: That was easy; I forgot the worlds have been combined.
The three take the Triforce of Courage from his hand.
G.G: So this is a Triforce, huh? Hey, what’s that on his back?
We see a blue sword on his back.
Koopa 13: The Master Sword.
G.G: Sweet. I bet we can get a lot for it.
As he touches it, he gets shocked and flies backwards.
G.G: Ow! What did I do?
Koopa 13: Don’t you get it? This weapon is our advantage to defeating Ganon, but we can’t touch it because we are not the chosen heroes.
G.G: Well we'll come back for it later. Anyway, what do you know about Zelda?
Koopa 13: She is the princess of Hyrule Castle, but I don’t how you can deal with a girl.
G.G: Hey, watch it. Anyway, to Hyrule Castle.
They leave for Hyrule Castle as Link still just lays there.
G.G: There are too many people in this town.
Koopa 13: Just ignore them, no matter how humorous they may be.
G.G. is seen throwing eggs at them.
G.G: Oh, right.
Suddenly singing can be heard.
G.G: Do you hear that?
We see a little red-headed girl singing.
Koopa 13: Malon.
We see G.G. beating her senseless with a baseball bat.
Koopa 13: Well that was wonderful. Now let’s get going.
They arrive at Hyrule Castle with guards guarding it.
G.G: Great, guards. That’s the last thing we need.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: I dunno, how do we get past?
Koopa 13: I know, let’s tie up the guards and steal their armor.
We see G.G. beating up the guards with a baseball bat.
G.G: I’m sorry, what?
They take off everything except the guards' boxers, and put them on.
Koopa 13: It's pretty tight... I can hardly breathe...cough
G.G: That’s because you’re wearing it backwards. Now come on.
They head on inside.
Guard: Hey, who are you guys?
G.G: We're guards. Notice the cool-looking armor?
Another guard comes in.
Guard: Sir, two guards were found beaten and stripped outside.
G.G: Uh oh.
Koopa 13: Let’s make a run for it!
Chompy: Bark!
Before they can, they are suddenly surrounded by guards.
G.G: Oh no.
Suddenly a roar is heard in the background, and Hooktail appears overhead.
Guard: DRAGON! RUN AWAY!
The guards run off as the dragon approaches.
Hooktail: Excuse me, do you know where the restroom is?
They point over to the Great Deku Tree.
Hooktail: Thank you.
They head into Zelda’s room.
Zelda: Who are you?
G.G: Umm… Guards?
Zelda: I never hired guards that short.
G.G: Hey!!!
Koopa 13: Yeah, your memory was erased.
G.G: Yeah, and you were going to give us that Triforce in your hand so that I won’t beat you with a bat.
???: That won't be necessary.
Suddenly a barrier forms and traps Zelda.
G.G: Who the?
??? : If you want your princess back then come to my tower. Muhahahahahahahha.
Zelda disappears.
Chompy: Bark bark.
They head out to the field.
G.G: Man, I wonder what happened to the princess. Hmm... Where could this tower be?
We see G.G. pacing around a tower that says "Ganon's Tower".
G.G: Where oh where could his tower be?
Koopa 13: Ganon’s Tower will only rise when seven years pass, so we have to wait, I guess.
G.G: Let’s just go into this tower until it comes.
They do so.
G.G: Wait, do you hear that? The guy who kidnapped the princess must be hiding in here while waiting for his tower to rise.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Yeah, it sounds like it’s coming up from this long flight of stairs. I was expecting some monsters, but who cares? No stupid stairs are gonna get in our way.
Three hours later...
G.G:Huff, huffI will never go up a single staircase again.
They enter the throne room, where Princess Zelda floats over an ugly, green man in a cape who is playing the organ.
G.G: Who is that guy over there?
Koopa 13: Ganondorf.
G.G: So this guy has the other piece of the Triforce, huh?
Ganon: So you have come. You are Double G Goomba, Koopa 13, and Chompy, correct?
G.G: How do you know our names?
Ganon: I heard about you from that cat in the armor. He told me you wish to take my Triforce of Power from me.
Koopa 13: Yeah, and if you want your life spared then give us the Triforce piece.
Ganon: Heh heh heh. You think you can fight me? I am the King of Hyrule, the Dark Lord of Darkness. I can't be defeated, but if you have a death wish then I would be happy to fulfill it.
Ganon comes at G.G. and slams him into the wall and knocks him out the other side. Koopa 13 comes from behind but slips on a rock. G.G. lands at his feet and hops on his back. Koopa 13 gives him a ride and throws G.G. on Ganon like a ball. G.G. slams him in the stomach and sends him flying. As he goes backwards G.G. starts bouncing off the walls, whacking Ganon as he flies by until Ganon grabs him and sends him into the floor. Then Chompy growls and tries to attack from behind, but Ganon grabs him and starts whacking him against the floor. He then throws him into the air and blasts him with an energy ball. Then G.G. comes from underneath and kicks him from behind, sending him flying where Koopa 13 is.
Koopa 13: Come on, guys. Let’s show him our team combo.
The three come together and Chompy puts Ganon in his mouth. He spits him out and G.G. and Koopa 13 start passing him to one another. Then Koopa 13 starts kicking from wall to wall while in his shell, then G.G. kicks him really fast and slams Koopa 13 into Ganon, who falls to the floor.
Ganon: Hahahahahahahaha! It's useless, you cannot beat me.
G.G: This can't be! He doesn’t have a scratch on him.
Koopa 13: We just can’t beat him without that legendary sword we left behind at the field.
Chompy:moan
Ganon starts throwing a barrage of energy balls at the three of them until they all fall to the ground.
G.G: We're done for.
Koopa 13: This can’t be.
Chompy: Ba ba bark.
Ganon: Now, you fools, prepare to-
Suddenly the Master Sword goes through Ganon, making a big ol' hole in him.
Ganon: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh shoot.
He turns into a cloud of darkness and fades away, and we see Lemmy carrying the Master Sword.
Lemmy: Yo.
G.G: Lemmy?
Koopa 13: He is the legendary one who wields the sword?!
Lemmy: There's a lot about me you don’t know.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Lemmy: I heard you were heading to Hyrule, so I thought you could use my help.
G.G: Well, um, uh, er, thanks. There, I said it!
Lemmy: So I guess I will be joining you on your adventure.
Koopa 13: But we hate you.
Lemmy: Well too bad. Now come on, let’s take the Triforce and go home.
Using the Master Sword, he gathers the three Trifoce pieces together and they become one. The scen transfers to a beach, where our three heroes our walking along the shore.
G.G: So this is the Triforce?
Koopa 13: It sure is.
Lemmy: We need to hurry back to Koopen's house.
Popple: I don’t thinks so, see?
Popple and Doopliss suddenly jump in front of them.
Doopliss: Not just yet, Slicks.
G.G: Oh no. Not you goons again.
Koopa 13: I hate when someone tries to get their revenge on us.
Popple: We have come to take those things of yours, so hand them over.
Doopliss: See?
G.G.: You still don’t get it, do you?
Koopa 13: You guys just don’t give up.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Popple: Well then, it looks like it’s time to get rough. COME ON OUT, NEW ROOKIE!
???: Ah ha ha! It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Suddenly Dimentio appears.
Koopa 13: Now the coolest villain has arrived.
G.G: DIMENTIO!
Chompy: Bark bark.
Dimentio: Ah, it’s nice to meet people who know me well.
Popple: He’s our new rookie, see?
Doopliss: With him on our team, we can finally defeat you three slicks.
G.G: All right then, time to teach you a lesson in respect. Let's go!
The two teams collide into each other. Koopa 13 rams into Doopliss but Doopliss flies over him and slams down on him, causing Koopa 13 to bounce on the ground and up into Doopliss, who bounces into Chompy’s mouth. Chompy spits him into Popple and Lemmy tackles him as he and G.G. run alongside with Dimentio. He splits into two but the two of them come and start pinballing him and his clone around toward Koopa 13, who rams into the fake one, causing he and the real Dimentio to crash. Meanwhile G.G. and Popple spin into each other with their weapons out until they whack each other and ram into the wall. They then collide into each other.
Popple: Ah, we lost again, see?
Doopliss: I hate losing to slicks!
G.G: Aw, did we hit you too hard? Do you want me to call your mommy so she can kiss your booboos?
Koopa 13: Or do you want to suck on your thumbs in front of her?
Popple: It’s all your fault, rookie!
Doopliss: Yeah, if you aimed for the right area we would have won.
Dimentio: Oh, a thousand pardons. I beg for your forgiveness, Master. If you would like I have something that might help us next time.
Popple: Fine, but it better be good.
Doopliss: Or you're fired, Slick.
Popple: You get off easy, but next time you're done for.
Doopliss: Hahahahahaha! See ya later!
Dimentio: Until next time, ciao.
They make their exit.
G.G: What a bunch of wimps.
Back at Koopen's house...
Koopen: Ah, Lemmy. You're ok, and you brought another power source as well.
G.G: Just don’t ask us to do it again, this thing is heavy.
Koopen: It looks like you only need one more powerful object.
Lemmy: What has been going on lately?
Koopen: Lately people have slowly been turning into shadow creatures that serve Koi, but surely more and more people will turn into his slaves.
G.G: World domination, huh?
Koopa 13: We finally learn what this guy is trying to do.
The map is pulled out.
Koopen: I have heard from a little pink puffball that a star called the Dream Star resides there with a lot of power.
Koopa 13: Kirby in a peaceful place called Dreamland.
Lemmy: Well we know our next location, so let’s get going.
G.G: Ok, but before we dom I have to ask, I feel like we forgot something.
Back in Hyrule, Zelda still hangs in her barrier.
Zelda: Just great.