(If anyone is going to make a game idea on the Drawing Board out of this, it’s going to be me, so don’t ask.)
PROLOGUE:
Mario Bros’ House:
Toad comes running into the Mario Bros.’ House.
Toad: MARIO! MARIO!
Luigi is in a green La-Z-boy, reading one of his Super Luigi books. But he looks up from his chronicled adventure to see what is the matter. Why am I so descriptive all of a sudden?
Luigi: Sweet! I appeared before Mario! Uh, I mean, what’s the problem?
Toad: You’re not Mario, so I’m not going to tell you.
Luigi: If you don’t tell me the problem, I’ll kill you again!
Toad: Again?
Luigi: You don’t want to think about it too much. Now what’s the problem?
Toad: Bowser stole Peach!
Luigi: Anything out of the ordinary?
Toad: Yeah, otherwise what would be the point of the FF? But we’re not supposed to know this for now.
Luigi: Ah. Now I must prove my worth and save Peach from Bowser without Mario!
He runs off. Mario enters the house with cotton candy.
Mario: Those fan girls are annoying, but they give great gifts! *eats cotton candy* Toad, what was with Luigi?
Toad: Oh, he’s saving Peach from Bowser.
Mario: What?! Oh noes!
He runs off.
Toad: Now to raid their fridge!
Bowser’s Castle:
Meanwhile, Mario is outside the castle doors. The Koopa Bros. then appear.
Red: You may not enter!
Mario: Why would you four be the first line of defense?
Yellow: … He has a point.
Black: He has no point!
Red: Thank you, Black.
Black: But I’m not saying that Mario is completely wrong. We could do better. Specifically if I were the leader instead of Red.
Green: That rhymes!
Black: And my first order of business would be to get rid of Green.
Red: But then he’ll probably run off crying, and get hit by a car he won’t see.
Yellow: He has a point.
Black: He has no point!
Yellow: You’re always arguing with me!
Red: He has a point.
Black: He has no point!
Yellow: Yeah, Black has a point.
Red: He has no point!
Green: ONION RINGS!
Other 3: Shut up!
Mario: Those guys are dumb. But now’s my chance!
Mario enters the castle. In the throne room, he finds Luigi and Peach tied up and hanging from the ceiling.
Bowser: You’ve fallen into my trap! Ha! I seem more serious when I say it off-screen! Kind of like you stepped into a trap. When in fact I you didn’t. But now you will die!
RPG BATTLE!
Mario: 10/10
Vs.
Bowser: 10/10
Mario uses Jump.
2 damage!
Bowser uses Fire
Breath. 1 damage!
Mario: 9/10
Vs.
Bowser: 8/10
Luigi: Mario!
Do you know how to do Action Commands? They let you do more damage!
Mario: No, Luigi.
I think I know how to do Action Commands.
Luigi: I’m not
cooking for you tonight!
Mario uses Jump.
2 damage!
Bowser uses Fire
Breath, but gets interrupted.
Luigi: But did
you know you can dodge-
Mario: Yes!
Luigi: Ah, but
on the last turn-
Mario: One more
comment, and I’ll rescue Peach only.
Luigi: Sorry.
Bowser: This
is taking too long! I’m ending the fight now!
BATTLE OVER! (Mario’d probably win anyway.)
Bowser: Nuh-uh!
Peach: Why didn’t I get any lines so far?
Bowser: Mario, why don’t you just give up? Because I won’t rest until I get Peach.
Mario: What are you, amnesiac? I beat you bad every time! In fact, I think your doctor sees you more times than he sees his wife!
Bowser’s Doctor: He’s right.
At that point, a sword lands in the castle. A big one. In fact, it’s Exor!
Mario, Bowser, and Peach: Not again!
Luigi: Hmm?
His mouth opens, and Cackletta comes down.
Peach: Isn’t Smithy supposed to come out?
Cackletta: Silence!
She summons lightning bolts. Mario and Bowser run around in circles, as Luigi and Peach freak out (they are stuck in the cage).
Bowser: We’ve got to get out of here! See ya!
Bowser goes off-screen, and comes back on-screen in the Clown Copter, with Junior with him. They then leave the castle. Mario quickly uses Firebrand to launch a fireball at the cage, melting it.
Peach: I didn’t know you could use that as a projectile attack.
Mario: Oh, I’ve been practicing.
Cackletta: This castle will once more be mine!
A force field or something like that starts spreading from Cackletta. Everything that is in it is under Cackletta’s influence. At the gates, they meet the Koopa Bros. again.
Mario: Run!
Red: No, you’re to die!
Luigi: Your boss and his son have fled! Doesn’t that say anything to you?
Yellow: There must be something stronger than our boss in there. We must flee!
The Bros. flee, and E. Gadd appears, out of what looks like a time hole, only blue.
Mario, Luigi, and Peach: Professor?
E. Gadd: No time to explain! Get in!
Peach’s Castle:
They get in, and find themselves in Peach’s castle. The portal closes behind them.
Mario: What’s happened?
E. Gadd: Cackletta has come back to life, and is taking over the planet!
Mario: Woah!
Luigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
E. Gadd: She’s spreading a force field that will taint all of Plit! Luckily, my trackers sensed this and I’ve taken precautions. I’ve managed to move the castle to a planet that’s far-off from Plit with the help of my former roommate, Prof. Frankly!
Frankly: Even here, we are not safe! Cackletta’s field of influence is still spreading as we speak, and is likely to have consumed all of Plit!
E. Gadd: We’ve constructed special armor to let you enter without trouble to take on Cackletta, but they’re out of fuel! We’ll need to get the ingredients! The first ingredient is the Cosmic Fungus, a rare Mushroom found only on the planet Moorhsum*.
(* Pronounced, More-some. And the word is just Mushroom, backwards.)
Mario: That’s a dumb name.
E. Gadd: Silence! Now we’ll give you directions to the planet Moorhsum.
(You got, The Map!)
E. Gadd: We put the castle on the moon of Moorhsum, so it’s not far.
Luigi: Won’t we need spacesuits?
Frankly: No, these planets and their moons have oxygen. Mostly because the author is lazy.
P.T.: Darn tootin’… Oh I did NOT just say that! I must go wash my mouth out with soap!
He does. But with a twist, he faces up and opens his mouth, and holds a hand soap thing over his mouth, and pushes the thing down, casing soap to drip down.
P.T.: I bet you
thought I’d use a soap bar, didn’t you?
CHAPTER 1:
Peach’s Castle/Moorhsum’s Moon
After some pointless exploring around the castle and talking with people, Mario and Luigi leave Peach’s castle. Outside the castle, they see that it really is on Moorhsum’s moon. They approach a cannon and are launched down to the actual planet.
Moorhsum Woods: (Imagine Mario & Luigi 2’s Toad Town theme)
Mario & Luigi land in a clearing in a forest.
Luigi: This map on the top screen (the one Gadd gave us) says that the Cosmic Fungus is nearby.
Mario: Luigi, the fact that the marking is near where we are on that picture is a coincidence. It just means that it’s on the same planet we’re on. It’s a coincidence.
Luigi: … I hate logic.
They go into the next area and find blocks floating in the air. Mario gets an Email on his new Mailbox DS.
E. Gadd: Gadd here! Mario, do you and your brother know how to hit blocks?
Mario: What do you think?
E. Gadd: Well all you have to do is press A. There are some blocks that only one of you can hit. To make Luigi jump, press B.
Luigi: We get it!
They try to move on, but…
Gadd: Why not hit the blocks? In other words, hit the blocks or you can’t move on.
They do and get some stuff. They then move on, and find a photo-negative Goomba. It charges into them.
RPG BATTLE!
Mario: 10/10
Luigi: 12/12
Vs.
Goomba-Negative:
7/7
Gadd uses Email
Mario. 15 damage on Mario’s patience!
Mario: What?
Gadd: This looks
like a good chance to tell you how to fight as brothers.
Mario: We’ve
done it before! We know how!
Luigi: Yeah!
Mario attacks and does everything else with A, and everything I do is with
B.
Gadd: … I hate
you two. Bye!
Mario uses Jump.
2 damage!
Luigi uses Jump.
2 damage!
Goomba-Negative
uses Charge. Gets stomped on and takes 2 damage!
Mario and Luigi
win!
BATTLE OVER!
They then go on, beating enemies senseless, even meeting a new enemy, the Koopa-Negative. Eventually, they find a town.
Moorhsum Town:
A bunch of photo negative Toads called Toad-Negatives seem to be running the town.
Luigi: I suggest we ask around if they know where a Fungus is.
Gadd (via Email): Do you know how to talk to people?
Mario: The more you babble on about stuff we know, the less time we have to avoid the force field!
Gadd: Loser. *logs off*
Mario: Hey! Do you know where the Cosmic Fungus is?
Toad-Negative: Ask the mayor.
Luigi: It’s always the mayor. It’ll be the significant-looking house, right?
T-N: Yep!
In there…
Mayor: The Cosmic Fungus? Hmm… It’s probably on top of Moorhsum Mountain.
Luigi: It’s odd to have a Mushroom planet with a photo-negative theme.
Mayor: So what? Now go get it or we’re all doomed!
Luigi: How’d you know about that?
Mayor: Silence, nonbeliever!
They head north, the right direction, but are stopped by a gate of metal. The local blacksmiths come.
Mario: Hey! Photo negative guys! Give us our hammers!
Blacksmiths (technically whitesmiths, since they’re in photo-negative): No, we’d rather just give you a tutorial, using info that you already know.
Luigi: Sometimes I wonder if you want to be saved or not.
They then teach them how to use hammers. All they learn is how to hit switches. They then head forward.
Mountain Trail:
They encounter an enemy.
RPG BATTLE!
Mario: 10/10
Luigi: 12/12
Vs.
Goomba Spiky-Negative:
5/5
Mario: What kind of name is that?
The Blacksmiths
use Appear & Teach a Boring Tutorial on Mario and Luigi. 100 damage
to both their patience.
Blue (PN version
of Red) Blacksmith: Do you know how to fight with hammers? Either way,
you’ll go through a tutorial.
Mario uses Kill
on the Blacksmiths! Mario and Luigi win!
BATTLE OVER!
Goomba Spiky-Negative: What about me?
Luigi: Leave, or we’ll squash you!
He leaves.
Moorhsum Mountain:
Mario and Luigi make it to Moorhsum Mountain. They solve easy hammer puzzles and get to the top. There, they find a cracked Mushroom statue. Mario hammers it and lava storms out!
Mario: WAH?! NO ONE SAID THAT THIS WAS A VOLCANO! LET ALONE AN ACTIVE ONE!
Toad-Negative that appeared out of nowhere: It was in the brochure.
Luigi: (reading the brochure he was handed) He’s right.
A Mushroom with star-shaped spots flies up with the lava. The lava eventually stops, and the Bros. try to catch it, but they miss and it falls in.
Mario: We have to go in after it!
Luigi: I’m too scared!
Mario grabs Luigi, and they hop in.
Moorhsum Caves: (Imagine Barrel Volcano’s theme)
Mario: Hmm… I wonder why they call it Barrel Volcano, anyway.
They go into the next room after using the Save Album. In there, they are greeted by 2 robotic Cacklettas with hammers.
Robocack: Ha! You can’t stop the master!
Lettabot: Yeah! We will not let you pass!
RPG BATTLE!
Mario: 20/20
Luigi: 20/20
Vs.
Robocack: 25/25
Lettabot: 20/20
Luigi: Where’d
we get the extra HP?
Mario: We got
level ups in deleted scenes.
Mario uses Green
Shell on Robocack. Total Damage: Doesn’t matter! Robocack faints!
Luigi: Where’d
we get Bros. Items?
Mario: In the
same deleted scene.
Lettabot: How
on Moorhsum did you get that good at the Green Shell?
Mario: The author
is good with those in his video game.
Luigi uses Ice
Flower! 10 damage! Lettabot’s Speed is down!
Mario: 20/20
Luigi: 20/20
Vs.
Robocack: Felled
Lettabot: 10/20
Mario uses Jump.
4 damage!
Luigi uses Hammer.
4 damage!
Lettabot uses
Heal. Regains 5 HP.
Mario: 20/20
Luigi: 20/20
Vs.
Robocack: Felled
Lettabot: 7/20
Mario uses Jump.
4 damage!
Luigi uses Hammer.
4 damage! Lettabot faints!
Mario and Luigi
win!
BATTLE OVER!
The robots short-circuits and explodes. They hit the heart block and save, then continue. In the next room, they find a rectangle that’s half red, half green on the ground. Gadd Emails Mario.
Luigi: Wait, if it’s only Email, then why is it that he can hear what Mario says and whatnot?
Silence, nonbeliever!
Gadd: What the narrator said! Anyway, you must split up for the following puzzle, so stand on the rectangular platform. Have Mario step on the red half, and Luigi on the green half.
They do, and a wall rises on the platform, separating them. Though they could just walk around it.
Gadd: But watch out! Fighting will be harder alone.
They look to see that the door requires someone standing on the pressure plate, so someone has to stay there. Mario stands on it and Luigi passes. On the other side, he hits the pipe block and brings Mario there. They rejoin and continue. After further adventuring, they reach the bottom room.
Mario: Yah!
Luigi: Yoho!
They turn to see the Cosmic Fungus behind them. They walk over to it, and Mario picks it up.
(You got, the Cosmic Fungus!)
At that point, a Chomp wakes up and lunges towards the Bros! But he can’t hurt them because of the fact that he’s chained to his post.
Voice from behind the Bros: How dare you intrude into my volcano?!
They turn to see a Toad (not a Toad-Negative) wearing armor and with a sword.
T-N: My name is Tad Moorhsum XIV! And you are invading my land! Die!
RPG BATTLE!
Mario: 25/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 100/100
Tad puts a Trampoline
(Bros. Item) on his head.
Tad: You can’t
jump on me, or you’ll just bounce away! You can’t hammer me or your hammer
will bounce off! What ever shall you do? Bwahaha!
Mario: I have
an idea!
Mario uses Jump
on Tad. He hits the trampoline, and bounces high into the air. But he lands
behind Luigi, and on the Chomp’s pole, lowering it.
Luigi: Good idea!
Luigi does the
same.
Tad uses Sword
Slice on Mario. 5 damage!
Mario: 20/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 100/100
Mario does what
he did earlier. The Chain Chomp’s pole is gone! He charges forward. The
Bros. jump over him and he eats Tad, then spits him out, without the Trampoline.
But he doesn’t do any damage. Somehow, the Chomp is trapped again.
Tad: Ack!
Luigi uses Cannonballer
on Tad. 30 damage!
Tad uses Sword
Slice on Luigi, but Luigi jumps over it.
Mario: 20/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 70/100
Mario uses Fire
Flower (Bros. Flower). 10 damage!
Luigi uses Mushroom
on Mario. Mario regains 5 HP.
Tad uses Summon.
Tad then uses
Sword Slice on Mario. But he jumps before heading towards Mario, so Tad
will wait a bit longer to attack, but then attacks Mario while he’s in
the air. Clever trick. Mario takes 5 damage.
Mario: 20/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 60/100
Mario uses Mushroom
on himself. Regains 5 HP.
Luigi uses Fire
Flower. 10 damage!
Tad uses his
regular Sword Slice on Mario. But he jumps over it.
Fly Guys come
and drop a Trampoline on Tad’s head.
Mario: 25/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 50/100
Mario jumps on
the trampoline and lowers the post.
Luigi does the
same thing.
Tad jumps, then
uses Sword Slice on Luigi. But Luigi doesn’t jump.
Mario: 25/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 50/100
Mario jumps and
lands on the post, freeing the Chomp. Tad is soon Trampoline-less.
Luigi uses Green
Shell on Tad. 40 damage!
Tad uses Summon.
Tad then uses
Sword Slice on Mario. He jumps over it.
Mario: 25/25
Luigi: 25/25
Vs.
Tad: 10/100
Mario uses Fire
Flower on Tad. Tad faints!
Mario and Luigi
win!
BATTLE OVER! (Finally)
Tad: How dare… you. Using my… pet Chain Chomp… against me…
The Chain Chomp then spits out the trampoline.
Mario: *gibberish that’s meant to sound like Italian*
Luigi: Okay.
They jump on the trampoline. They do it so hard, they fly up into space, and land in front of Peach’s Castle.
To Be Continued...
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