Chapter 25: A Relaxing Cruise Gone Wrong
Mario and Tatanga are seen walking to the docks to catch a boat to Sirena Beach, but when they get there a large ship is there.
Mario: Mama-freakin-mia, I've-a never-a seen-a this-a before-a. Have-a you-a- Tatanga-a?
Tatanga: No, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped that nonsense.
Mario: Okay.
Weird Pianta Voice Coming From a Megaphone on the Ship: ATTENTION PEOPLE. WE ARE LEAVING.
Mario: Okay...
WPVCFAMOTS: All aboard for Sirena Beach.
Tatanga and Mario: WOAH! GET ON THAT SHIP!
They run onto the ship. Once they on the main deck, the ship leaves and the captain comes up to Mario.
Captain: Ah, Mario, how lovely to see you. May I have your ticket?
Mario: ...
Captain: Mario, do you know what a ticket is?
Mario: ...
Captain: It's that small, rectangular thing with a fancy design saying you can come on.
Mario: ...
Captain: You do have one. right?
Mario: ...
Captain: Ummmm, you, alien guy, does he have a ticket?
Tatanga: Actualy he-
Mario: Look! A pony!
Both Tatanga and the captain turn around, and Mario pushes the captain overboard.
Tatanga: MARIO! HOW COULD YOU?
Mario: What? Think on the bright side. I can talk again.
Tatanga: ... That's the bright side.
Mario: Well, that and we're spinning.
The ship is seen spinning in circles, moving towards the hotel.
Tatanga: MARIO! THIS IS GOING TO SHOOT UP ON THE BEACH AND BLOW UP THE HOTEL!
Mario: Hehehe, hotel... Hehehe, motel...Hey Tatanga... motel.
Tatanga: That isn't funny one bit, moron. What happened to you?
Before Mario can speak his mind (nothing we need to hear anyway) the ship slides onto the beach and everybody runs around screaming.
Mario: WHEEEEEEEEEE!
Tatanga runs to the wheel, where people are trying to turn the ship. Tatanga spins the wheel so hard the ship makes five full rotations on the spot before turning around and heading back to sea.
Tatanga: NO NO NO! GET OFF!
Tatanga grabs Mario and jumps to land. They head to the hotel as the ship collides with an iceberg, flips upwards, snaps in half, and sinks.
Mario: I've seen something like that before.
Tatanga: Where
the %&$* is the gym?
Chapter 26: I'd Like a Room Please
Mario and Tatanga enter the hotel to be greeted by the owner.
Mario: I'd like a room, and make it snappy, Tom.
Pianta Manager: My name is not Tom... What floor do you want?
Tatanga: I'm sorry to butt in, but he's here for a Koopamon battle.
PM: Oh really. You're a trainer. Good for you, Mario. I just so happen to be-
Mario: The leader, yeah, I know. Kind of obvious.
PM: Well how... rude. Anyway, the gym is closed right now. We hold battles up in the maze we have in the attic. For now, would you like a room?
Mario: *rolls eyes* Well duh.
PM: Mario... for shame. Be nice. You get room 319.
Mario: Okay.
They get the key and go up to the room.
Tatanga: Well, Mario, send out your Koopamon and decide which four you'll use since it will apparently be four on four.
Mario: Right.
Mario sends out his B Bass, Fat Stack, Eeker, Clone, and Mecha B.
Tatanga: You need a sixth Koopamon, Mario.
Mario: Yeah, I know. It is probobly going to be ghost, so I should probobly use Clone.
Tatanga: Yes, but ghost hates ghost so your ghost will be at a disadvantage to his ghosts.
Mario: But my ghost is better than his ghost, so my ghost will beat his ghost due to a ghost having an advantage on another ghost.
Tatanga: So?
Mario: Fine... Fat Stack, B Bass, Eeker, and Mecha B.
Tatanga: Good boy, Mario.
Mario: Yay! I'm a good boy.
The Koopamon get excited, even Clone since he gets to watch the match. The PM comes into the room.
PM: Mario, the gym will be opening not as soon as I wished. Why don't you go to the casino? If you win 500 coins you get a free ghost-, dark-, or psychic-type Koopamon.
Mario: GOODY! ... I WANT IT I WANT IT!
Mario plows over PM and runs to the casino with Tatanga right behind him.
Tatanga: Sorry.
PM: Whatever...
Chapter 27: Mario Goes Wild
Mario and Tatanga enter the casino, where the Pianta at the counter gives them 50 coins.
Mario: Let's-a go. I'm-a going all out.
Mario runs at a slot machine and inserts a coin and pulls the lever. He gets a Goomba, Goomba, and a Koopa. Nothing comes out so Mario begins shaking the machine and punching it.
Tatanga: Oh my. He's even worse now than when we played checkers.
-------Flash back--------
[i]Mario and Tatanga are sitting in Delfino Square playing checkers. Tatanga is clearly winning by a landslide.
Mario: Hmmmm. If I go this way he finishes me... If I go that way he finishes me... Hmmm. Oh, I know!
Marios puts one hand on each of the corners of the board and goes to spin it around.
Mario: Look behind you, Tatanga! It's the mayor.
Tatanga: Oh no.
Tatanga looks around and Mario puts his hands on the side of the board... waits... then whips a hammer out and beats Tatanga unconscious. He then begins dancing.
Mario: I WIN I WIN I WIN![/
------------End flashback--------------
Mario goes over to the roulette wheel and puts up ten coins on a space. The Pianta spins the wheel and throws the ball in, and it stops on the spot next to his.
Mario: %*$(# *%($!!!
Tatanga: Oh my. I knew gambling was bad, but woah. Mario, you only have 39 coins left, so be careful.
Mario: Yeah yeah. BLACK JACK!
Mario runs to the black jack counter and gives the dealer 9 coins.
Dealer: Okay, here are two cards. A 6 and a 5. That's 11.
Mario: Hit me.
The dealer throws out a two.
Dealer: 13.
Mario: Hit me.
The dealer throws out a two.
Mario: Hit me.
The dealer throws out a five.
Dealer: 20
Mario: Hit me.
Dealer: ... Ummm.
Mario: I need 21, hit me.
The dealer throws out a 7.
Mario: *$#*#(!
Tatanga: You're supposed to stop there. The dealer only got eighteen.
Mario: Oh, okay. One more try. Nine coins.
Dealer: Okay. Two cards. And it's a nine and five. 14.
Mario: Hit me.
Dealer: A 6. 20.
Mario: I stay.
Dealer: I have 11 so I'll take one... and a 10, that's 21. I win.
Mario: %*(*#(%#*@(*$*%!
Tatanga: Woah, Mario, calm down. You still have 21 coins.
Mario: You're right... Ummmmm... OH OH OH! They have matching games.
Mario runs to the table where the Pianta at it explains to Mario that there are thirty cards with different Koopamon on them. Two have Koopaballs. If he gets the two Koopaballs he doubles what he already won in the game that round. The dealer then flips the cards, puts them together, shuffles them, and throws them out. Mario flips two and right away gets the two Koopaballs.
Pianta: 2x0=0. You lose 2 coins every time your points don't go up in a round.
Mario: Ugg again.
Mario wastes his way down to two coins.
Tatanga: Mario, you stink.
Mario: I need something easy. SLOT MACHINES AGAIN!
Mario runs over and puts in a coin. He then pulls the lever and three happy faces come up. The Pianta in charge of the casino comes up.
Pianta: Good good. You won the super duper magnificently ultra mega stupendously awesomely wicked great terrific jackpot. You win 498 times your bet.
Mario goes to the counter and the Pianta picks up a case of coins.
Pianta: There you go. Now you have 499 of 500.
Mario looks at his coins for a split second before looking up.
Mario: There is 498 here.
Pianta: Oh, okay.
The pianta gives him another coin, and Mario puts his coins on the counter.
Mario: I have 500 coins.
Pianta: GOOD JOB, MARIO! Now what Koopamon would you like?
Tatanga: ... O_O
Pianta: We have Wizzerd the psychic type, Dark Boo the ghost type, and Pupox the dark type.
Mario: OH, I WANT A PUPOX!
Pianta: There you go.
Mario takes the Koopaball and releases the Pupox, which appears to be a dancing, wooden, humanoid puppet with a hammer.
Mario: I'm gona call you Japetto.
Tatanga: I don't think that was the puppet.
Mario: Oh, right... Then you are Billy-Joe-Pa.
Tatanga: Yes, keep that name.
Mario: I will. Hey Billy-Joe-Pa, I'm gonna use you in my gym match, yes I am, Billy-Joe-Pa.
Tatanga: That should get him a look or two.
With that, they
leave to find PM to check on the gym.
Chapter 28: The Battle of the Spirits
Mario and Tatanga find the Hotel Manager in Mario's room on the third floor. He goes up to him but he jumps on the bed and bounces up into a hole in the ceiling.
Mario: What was that all about?
Tatanga: I don't know, but I get the feeling we need to follow.
Mario: Right.
They bounce into the attic, which appears to be a huge maze of narrow halls. Mario and Tatanga hear the PM calling them, so they begin following the voice.
Mario: Why does he do this to us?
Tatanga: I don't know, but if I was only an inch taller I'd have to duck down to get around, these ceilings are so low.
They finally make their way to the center of the maze, where the PM waits.
Mario: Finally. Does being here mean the gym is ready?
PM: This is the gym, Mario. This WHOLE MAZE! We'll do battle here.
Mario: Oh **** no.
PM: Oh **** yeah. Four-on-four.
Mario: Man, Vivian wasn't lying… Okay, four-on-four. Let's do this.
PM: Okay, go first.
Mario: Okay... GO FAT STACK!
Mario releases Fat Stack, which from top to bottom is exactly the height of the halls.
PM: Okay then. GO STRETCH!
PM releases a long, white platform that has two ugly Boo heads coming out of it.
Mario: Can the thing move?
PM: We'll see… BEGIN!
Mario: USE YOUR AIRBALL!
PM: Let it hit your upper head.
Fat Stack fires the airball, which hits Stretch’s upper head. The head bites onto the ball, much to the Shock of Mario, rotates to the bottom of the platform, and let's go of the airball, sending it back into Fat Stack.
Mario: WHAT THE? USE YOUR SEGMENTAL BLOW!
Fat Stack fires off its segments one at a time. They fly right through Stretch and out the other side, where they build up and fire airball.
PM: Use your stretch, Stretch.
The heads retreat into the platform, which extends longer and guts Fat Stack’s middle segments, toppling him over. The now separate Strollin’ Stus ring around the platform and fire an airball off, which Stretch stops with Protect.
Mario: This will not do… Oh, if only Segmental blow wasn't normal-type or it could hit him.
PM: Use your Shadow Fang.
The lower head stretches downward and tries to bite onto one of the Strollin’ Stus, but they all jump away and pile up. They try Airball again, which is blocked by Protect.
Mario: Oh my god, this will take forever... Oh wait… What if Fat Stack knows the move Fores-
PM: NO! USE YOUR SHADOW AURA!
Stretch sends off a wavy aura that hits and sends shivers up Fat Stack, holding its lower four segments in place.
PM: Just one more segment left, the top one. USE YOUR-
Mario: FORESIGHT!
PM: OH NO!
The top segment glows and sends a wave of light that scans over Stretch.
PM: Oh... wha? You got me thinking I was in danger.
Mario: You are. FAT STACK, SNAP OUT OF IT AND JUMP ON STRETCH IN A LINE!
PM: What?
Fat Stack shakes itself out of paralysis and jumps at Stretch. All five segments separate and line up.
PM: You'll go right through.
The segments land on Stretch and don't go through.
Mario: Oh.
PM: HOW?
Mario: Foresight scans the foe, making them a physical being so physical strikes and motions affect it. NOW USE AIRBALL DOWNWARDS!
PM: PROTECT!
Stretch blocks the Airballs, then both heads go around and come up behind the segments.
Mario: TURN AND SEGMENTAL BLOW!
PM: OH NOT ALREADY!
The segments fly into the heads, blowing them for a whirl. Stretch’s platform spins vertically and rolls along the floor into a wall, where it falls on its side and the Boos come out knocked out.
Mario: YES!
PM: Return. Good start, Mario, now let's up the ante. Shadow, I choose you.
PM releases a brownish, goblin-like shadow thing-a-ma-bob.
Mario: UGLY! Use Segmental Blow.
PM: Use your CONFUSION!
Using psychic powers, Shadow stops the segments and sends them into a wall, where they get up, line up, and each fire an airball.
PM: Use your Dark Whip.
Shadow swings his arm out and a huge, dark whip appears and beats the airballs away.
Mario: FORESIGHT!
The light beam scans over Shadow.
PM: Darn it. Use your Giga Impact.
Shadow Slams headfirst into Fat Stack, blowing it into a knockout.
Mario: Return. GO MECHA B!
Mario releases the Mecha Blooper.
Mario: Water Pulse.
PM: Use your Life Energy.
Shadow begins draining his health to raise his other abilities, and launches Shadow Ball, which blows Water Pulse into the next dimension.
Mario: Low on life but high in stats. I need set damage. USE SUCK UP!
Mecha B releases his torpedoes and then sucks Shadow inside him. Mecha B begins to go berserk.
Mario: What the?
PM: God, why did you just suck an intoxicated ghost into your Koopamon? It doesn't mater if he's steel, he's gonna get poisoned internally, which'll knock him out.
Mario: Shoot him out.
Mecha B tries but nothing happens.
PM: He won't come out. Once in there, he is stuck in there.
Mario: Then I need SACRIFICE!
PM: Oh.
Mario: EXPLOSION!
PM: DAMP!
Mario: Damp?
Water spills out of and over Mecha B, so when he tries to blow up he shorts an the explosion is held off.
Mario: WHAT?
PM: Yup, Damp prevents explosive moves. You'll just need to watch your Koopamon drop.
Mario: LIKE I'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! ICE TORPEDO!
PM: What'll that do?
The torpedoes grow back out of Mecha B, pushing Shadow out of him, then launching him across down the hall and into a wall. Both drop out though.
Both: Return.
Mario: GO BILLY-PA-JOE!
PM: … You called your Pupox Billy-Pa-Joe.
Mario: That's right, y'all.
PM: Ugh. GO DARK BOO!
Mario: Okay, USE YOUR DARK MALLET!
PM grins as Billy-Pa-Joe swings at Dark Boo. Dark Boo blocks the hit with Protect, then flies through the wall.
Mario: WHAT?
PM: Hehehehehe.
Mario: Where is it?
PM: …
Mario: Grrrrr.
Just then, Dark Boo flies out of the wall behind Billy-Pa-Joe and hits him from behind with Shadow Ball before retreating into the wall.
Mario: Fine. Let's do this the hard way. BILLY-PA-JOE, RUN THE HALLS.
Billy-Pa-Joe, being a wooden puppet, can't walk normally and prances through the halls. After several seconds he hits a dead end and turns around to be smashed with a Shadow Ball and sent into a wall. The now laughing Dark Boo, who had followed him, goes into a wall. Billy-Pa-Joe gets really mad now and smashes a wall with Dark Mallet, knocking the wall over into rubble. He then uses Dark Pulse, which sends a wave through the whole maze, even under the walls. Dark Boo, who is right behind the wall next to Billy-Pa-Joe, is scanned and blown through a wall. BPJ spins around and swings his mallet and destroys the wall. He then prances down the new hall, where Dark Boo jumps him from a four-way intersection and sends him into a wall. Dark Boo goes through the wall and BPJ gets up and uses Will-o-Wisp to sends flames all over the place. They locate themselves all over the maze, and Dark Boo runs into one and get's burn.
Mario: Should we go find them?
PM: Well if we don't, who knows what might happen?
They step out of the ring into the hall, and turn to see a whole straight line of smashed walls and fireballs.
PM: Who used Will-o-Wisp?
Mario: Billy-Pa-Joe probably, since you don't even think it could be Dark Boo.
PM: Darn.
Somewhere in the remains of the maze, Dark Boo is seen pushing BPJ from behind down a hall until BPJ uses his mallet to cause a tremor, which causes rubble to fall between them, pushing Dark Boo away. BPJ spins around and swings at Dark Boo, but fails when Dark Boo goes through a wall. Dark Boo runs into another flame and the burn increases. Within the next second, BPJ become annoyed with trying to beat Dark Boo and begins to knock the walls over. PM and Mario find BPJ as he starts this, and run when BPJ heads their way.
Mario: NO NO NO! GO FIND DARK BOO!
Dark Boo flies out in front of BPJ just in time to be smashed into the floor as a pancake.
Mario: YES!
PM: He isn't done yet.
Mario: Oh yes he is.
PM: What?
Mario: Use Will-o-Wisp.
BPJ sends out several fireballs that engulf Dark Boo, turning his current burn into a third degree burn. Dark Boo flies around crazily, blowing the walls to shreds with Shadow Ball. He turns around to see BPJ hit him with incredible force in the face with Shadow Mallet, which sends him clear across the whole area into a wall, down and out.
PM: Return. I have one left, so it'll be a doozy.
Mario: Grrrrrr.
PM: GO ATOMIC BOO!
Mario: An Atomic Boo... That thing is fat.
PM: Yeah, maybe he's your ghost.
Mario: That wasn't nice. I'm gonna tell the hotel manager.
PM: I am the hotel manager.
Mario: Which is why this place stinks.
PM: *gasp* Oh, that is it. COME GET SOME! ATOMIC BOO, WIPE THAT SOUTHERN PUPPET OUT WITH SHADOW BALL!
Atomic Boo stores up energy, then fires a massive Shadow Ball that BPJ dodges. He smashes a hole in the floor and jumps in.
PM: YOU’RE RUINING MY HOTEL! GET AFTER IT!
Atomic Boo flies through the floor. Mario and PM jump through too and go to separate ends of the second floor. They reach the guard rail along the hole in the center and battle there.
Mario: COMBINE DARK AND SHADOW MALLET!
BPJ swings back and forth at Atomic, Boo but to no avail as it keeps moving out of the way. Eventually Atomic Boo gets annoyed and shoots BPJ with Thunderbolt, knocking it out.
Mario: Oh come on. RETURN! GO EEKER!
Tatanga: Why isn't he using B Bass? I think water has a higher chance of living against a ghost than a psychic does.
Mario: PSYCHIC!
Eeker uses psychic powers on Atomic Boo, but he goes transparent and isn't affected by the psychic attack. Atomic Boo then charges at Eeker.
Mario: Dodge.
Eeker jumps over the railing and down to the first floor. Atomic Boo then blows the floor apart with Thunderbolt, and its debris rains down on Eeker, who desperately destroys what he can before being hit several times.
PM: My... my hotel. USE YOUR HYPER BEAM!
Atomic Boo begins shooting hyper beams at Eeker, which Eeker can only run from. Eeker runs up the stairs as the Atomic Boo blows the whole wall away with Hyper Beam, revealing Eeker running the stairs to the second floor.
PM: Forget the hotel. I'll have a new one built... I just wanna beat you in battle. ATOMIC BOO, USE YOUR DARK HURL!
Atomic Boo catches up to and grabs Eeker, and encases him in a ball of darkness and hurls him through a wall and into a room. Eeker peeks out of the door and Atomic Boo appears to be gone. Eeker puts his two flame arms together and vertically in front of his face, like people hold their guns sometimes in action movies. He then kicks the door open and jumps out, pointing his connected arms left and right like a gun before running down the hall and up to the third floor.
Mario: YOU GET HIM, EEKER!
PM: Nonsense. He can't beat a ghost.
Eeker jumps from the stairway with his arms held out, and shoots several fireballs that hit the wall since there was no Atomic Boo to target. Eeker becomes confused as to where Atomic Boo went, and goes over and looks over the guardrail down to floor one just in time for Atomic Boo to shoot upwards and knock Eeker off his feet. Eeker gets up and uses Flamethrower, but Atomic Boo dodges and the flames hit and ignite the swimming pool window and shatter the glass. Eeker runs around the guardrail using Psychic. While doing so he scans everything, trying to find and scan Atomic Boo so it can't disappear anymore. Atomic Boo flies up behind Eeker, but Eeker spins and shoots a fireball from his gun position arms, causing Atomic Boo to fly over the guardrail and down to the first floor. Eeker then shoots the totem pole pillar in the center of the opening and it crumbles and collapses down on Atomic Boo. Eeker then looks down at the rubble.
Mario: Is it over?
PM: It can't be.... Not yet.
Just then the rubble drops from a piled up formation to spread out on a now empty floor.
Mario: IT WENT INTO THE FLOOR! IT'S UNDERGROUND!
PM: Yup. THUNDERBOLT!
The ground of the first floor begins to crack and crumble, and thunderbolts fly out of it. One goes up and almost hits Eeker, but Eeker makes a run for it and burns his way into a room. The hotel’s base floor begins to crumble and the ground begins to shake.
Mario, Tatanga, and PM: EARTHQUAKE!
The whole place begins to shake as the counters and stands of the first floor break. The water in the pools on the first floor get sucked into the cracks in the floor as Atomic Boo comes out of the floor and starts blowing things to pieces with Hyper Beam, trying to find Eeker.
Mario: OH MY GOD! IT'S GONE BERSERK! STAY IN HIDING, EEKER, UNTIL YOU FIND AN OPENING TO STRIKE!
Eeker runs around in his room, burning down walls and going from room to room. Atomic Boo uses Thunderbolt to hit the floor, intensifying the earthquake, which begins to crack its way up the walls. The hotel begins to split in half and move apart.
PM: HYPER BEAM!
Atomic blows the right wall away and finds Eeker in his room. Eeker then fires off some flamethrowers, which Atomic Boo flies and spirals away from before going for Eeker, but the earthquake does its job too well and the hotel splits in half. Each half tilts on an angle and Atomic Boo flies by, missing Eeker. Eeker runs out to the guardrail with Mario as Atomic Boo flies back at the hotel. Just then the earthquake gets worse and the ground around the building breaks apart and the hotel begins to sink into the ground.
Mario and PM: EVACUATE!
Mario, Tatanga, PM, and Eeker jump out of the hotel while Atomic Boo floats out just as the hotel falls in half and is sucked underground. Now that the earthquake has run its course on the hotel, it's making its way down to the beach. Eeker runs towards the beach with Atomic Boo flying after him. Eeker turns around and fires several quick fireballs, which Atomic Boo stops with Thunderbolt. Eeker then hits the beach as the earthquake moves down the stairs, causing them to cave in. It then circles around the fountain and down the other four stairwells now coming in on the beach in four directions.
Mario: Psychic.
PM: NOT GOING TO WORK! DARK HURL!
Atomic Boo is encased in the Psychic and tries to fight it, but is slowly moving towards Eeker.
PM: I'll hurl it into the water, THAT'LL STOP IT!
Atomic Boo becomes weaker and weaker, but finally gives in and is thrown at the fountain.
Mario: FINISH HIM! FLAMETHROWER!
Eeker hits Atomic Boo with flamethrower and propels himself over Atomic Boo so the fire is hitting his head and pushing him into the fountain as it gives way and sinks underground, revealing a bottomless pit. Eeker pours on the flamethrower, pushing Atomic Boo further and further down into the hole.
Mario: Come on.
PM: N-n...no... DON'T GIVE UP! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT BACK WITH HYPER BEAM!
Atomic Boo fires Hyper Beam into the flamethrower and is trying to fight Eeker’s beam with his own. The beams form a massive energy that moves up and down the connecting beams as one Koopamon overpowers the other and vice versa.
Mario: Eeker is getting weaker... I need a plan.
The energy ball closes in on Eeker more and more.
PM: This is it... I'm going to win.
Mario: NOW USE PSYCHIC!
Eeker encases the connected beams in Psychic which turns the whole thing, even the Hyper Beam, into a connected Flamethrower from Eeker so the energy ball zips back and smashes head on into Atomic Boo, depleting his ability to fight back. The Flamethrower then pushes him down into the endless darkness. Eeker stops and Atomic Boo automatically floats back up on its back, knocked out where it hovers on the spot in the air.
PM: Return... You... You’re way too good... No, you’re the best... I know you will beat the Elite.
Mario: Thank you.
PM: You are worthy of this Tomb Badge.
Mario: Thank you.
Tatanga: Congratulations, Mario. Look... another boat’s coming.
Mario: Looks like it's time to say goodbye.
PM: I guess. Good luck in the final gym.
Mario: Thank you.
The boat arrives and they get on. Once on, they turn to see PM gone. They turn around to see he got on the ship too.
Mario: What are you doing on the ship?
PM: Ah, nothing can be done. I have to go to the plaza. What am I to do on a destroyed segment of the island? My hotel is down... not even Extreme Home Makeover will be able to handle this.
The three of them surprisingly laugh as the ship sets sail for the plaza.