Pauline in the Mushroom Kingdom

By Fried Rooster

Former Flames Rekindled?

Author’s Note: Tourists and lurkers, Fried Rooster decided to take a small break from art and actually attempt writing for once. I have been considering writing for at least a year, but never got around to it until now. This is the first fanfic that I ever wrote, so I could use as much feedback and writing tips as possible. Hope you all like the concept at least.

It was close to evening in Brooklyn, New York. A typical one to be exact. It was rush hour on the streets, many people returning to their habitats from their everyday jobs. The streets were crowded with people and cars in traffic jams.

A woman, looking as old as in her late 20s, walked down the sidewalk returning home from her job as a construction worker, as influenced by her most recent boyfriend Mario, whom she believed had vanished without a trace. But as we all know, Mario went through a warp pipe and is currently residing in the Mushroom Kingdom. The woman had long, brunette, flowing hair, golden earrings, shining blue eyes, and a pretty, flowing, red dress. Her name was Pauline. Yes, the same Pauline who was a victim of a certain ape named Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong was in love with Pauline, but it was obvious that anyone would choose a nice, kind, good-looking, ‘stached human over a creepy, arrogant primate. Donkey Kong was quite angry with Pauline’s decision and decided to kidnap her. As Pauline was being dragged to the construction site, she accidentally left behind her personal belongings such as her purse and hat. As Mario was heading over to his old job as a construction worker, he noticed Pauline’s belongings on the grounds. He knew something was wrong, and used her belongings to track her down. Mario then noticed his girl was tied up with Donkey Kong, exactly like a typical Bowser/Peach kidnapping. Mario, with the help of the mini-Mario toys, was able to rescue his damsel in distress like the usual hero he is. Soon after that, the number one plumber mysteriously disappeared, from the Real World’s point of view.

Pauline decided to take a break from walking so much and sat down on a bench to rest. Little did she know was that she was resting near the green pipe Mario used to enter the Mushroom Kingdom. All of a sudden she was approached by a mugger, the kind who wander out during the evenings, mugging anyone unsuspecting.

“Hand over your purse!” he commanded. The mugger grabbed the purse from her.

“No way!” Pauline resisted. She kicked the mugger away from her. Ever since the Donkey Kong kidnapping, she had been more aware of her surroundings and become more defensive. She ranted at the mugger about how she did not like being harassed in this way. Since the mugger only liked to strike unsuspecting, helpless people, he threw the purse in the green pipe and ran off.

“Why you!” Pauline was upset, but knew she had more important things to deal with than a lowlife mugger. She approached the pipe and looked inside it. Luckily the purse was hanging on by a nail, making it easy enough for anyone to fish it out if they had long arms. There was only one thing to do. She had to reach in as far into the pipe with all her might as possible. But it was no use; she lost her grip and fell into the pipe. She yelled very loud, as if she was getting sucked into a tornado or getting dragged into a black hole. The journey through the pipe lasted for about a minute or two. She eventually landed with a thud on her chest. She was passed out on the Mushroom Kingdom ground for a while.

Eventually Pauline regained consciousness after the long fall. She was quite dazed from that long fall, as if she was riding on the scariest rollercoaster. Pauline was on a tall, green hill and looked over the horizon of Mushroom fields and landforms with strange eyes. It seemed like a surrealistic world to Pauline. It most likely had seemed this way to Mario as well. The cool breezes breezed through the air. The environment seemed more peaceful than rush hour.

“I know I am not in Brooklyn anymore.” She knew. There was no way the city would have this kind of tranquil area. Pauline remembered her last actions before she ended up here. “Am I dreaming?” she theorized. Pauline decided to explore the Mushroom Kingdom some more. After a bit of exploring, she quite enjoyed the peaceful scenery. But the peace turned into a nightmare when she was grabbed by a turtle-like figure in a clown copter, who happened to be Bowser. Pauline was tied and gagged so that the heroes couldn’t hear her yell for help.

“HA! I got you now Princess!” Bowser cackled.

“What?! I’m not a princess.” Pauline said, through muffles.

“You think you can convince everybody you went on vacation and then dye your hair brown just so you can get my guard down? Well guess again!” Bowser thought that Pauline was Peach in disguise.

“But I’m not!” Thought she was muffled, she kept on trying to convince Bowser that she was not the damsel he was looking for. But Bowser didn’t believe her and took her to his castle.

Meanwhile, the Mario Bros. were busy fixing up a local Mushroomer’s sink as part of their plumbing jobs, when they saw nearby Mushroomers panicking that someone had been kidnapped. A typical Bowser x Peach kidnapping was the first thing that came to Mario’s mind.

“But she went on vacation to the Beanbean Kingdom!” Mario said.

“Bowser must’ve stalked her the whole way. He knows the whole route there better than we do,” Luigi said.

“No, I just got off the phone with the princess and she said she was doing fine,” said a young Mushroomer. It was Peach’s servant Toad.

“Then who could it be then?” Mario and Luigi wondered. “Princess Daisy and Tatanga? Or Princess Eclair and the Chestnut King?” The Mario Bros. recalled past damsels they had rescued.

“We’d better just go and find out.” Luigi suggested.

“Alrighty,” Mario said. The Mario Bros. headed off to Bowser’s Castle, still assuming Bowser was the kidnapper behind all this.

The Mario Bros. fought many Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and other enemies along their way to the castle. As they went through the door to Bowser’s castle, they overheard Bowser bragging that he had captured the “princess”.

“So it WAS Bowser!” Mario knew. Well who didn’t know? Mario and Luigi continued along the way in the direction where they’d heard Bowser’s echoes. They entered a room full of lava, where Bowser stared dreamily at Pauline, or what he believed was Peach in disguise. Mario and Luigi were shocked to see who the victim was.

“P-P-Pauline?” Mario was quite surprised to see her. It had been ages since the two were in contact with each other.

“Mario?!” Pauline was still muffled. Her heart beat faster. She was under a lot of stress; she had been kidnapped and gagged and was now seeing her old flame she had thought a lot about lately. Her mind was now set on getting rescued by Mario (again).

“Let her go!” Mario commanded.

“I’ll never give up the princess!” Bowser said.

“Wait a minute,” Mario said. “You think that’s the princess?”

“Of course it is!” Bowser said, then explained his “theory” about how the princess supposedly faked going on a vacation and disguised herself so that he would not bother her for the time being. The Mario Bros. laughed at how moronic and idiotic Bowser’s theory was. Eventually Bowser was convinced that Pauline was not the damsel in distress he was looking for. So he *gasp* untied her and let her go!

“Not so fast!” The Mario Bros said. They made sure Bowser wasn’t going to get away with it. Mario pulled down the axe, the same axe that breaks the bridge over the lava. Bowser fell in the lava and struggled as he was burning in the lava. He grabbed the edge and pulled himself out, and ran away like a coward.

“Thank you, Mario.” Pauline said, thankful that Mario had saved her once again . She leaned closer to him for a kiss, but immediately Mario pushed her away.

“That reminds me! We have to get out of here!” Mario said in a heartbeat. The trio exited the castle, out into the daylight.

To Be Continued...

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