Lemmy and the 13 contestants are in a castle in Dark Land somewhere.
Lemmy: 13 contestants. 1 burning question. WHO is the Mole?
The Ice Land Theme plays over the credits.
Lemmy: Welcome, contestants, to The Mole: Deception on Plit. Now lemme see if I got this right. You are:
Zap Cannon, Age 15, Tourist
Shadow Ball, Age 14, Assistant Interviewer
Green, Age 17, Psychopathic Goomba
Regice, Age unknown, Legendary Ice
Golem
Iggy Koopa, Age 13, Punching Bag
Daisy Toadstool, Age 27, Princess
Red Ninjakoopa, Age 19, Moronic Ninja
Red: Hey!
Lemmy: Deal with it. Now, where was I?
Admiral Bobbery, Age 45, Sailor
Shadow Queen (Possessed Peach Form),
Age uh… over 1,000, Demoness Queen
Lord Crump, Age 30, Fourth Wall-Breaker
Iron Cleft (Red), Age 20, Fighter
General Guy, Age 25, General
Doopliss, Age unknown, Actor
Lemmy: That right?
Contestants: Yes.
Lemmy: Super. I say that it’s time for our first challenge. There are 20,000 coins in the safe behind me, but to get it, you must find the password. There are three clues hidden in the three rooms in the corridor ahead of me, marked easy, medium, and hard. There’s a riddle in each room to solve. This is… Riddles for Riddles.
Red: That’s a dumb name.
Lemmy: You’re a lot dumber. You have one hour to solve the riddles, return here, and work out the password. But before all that, you have ten minutes to decide whether you’ll divide into teams for the riddles to take them all at once, or take them together one at a time.
General Guy: Well, I say divide and conquer.
Shadow Queen: I agree. We send the idiots to the easy room, the moderately smart people to the medium room, and the brainiacs to the hard room.
9 minutes of arguing later…
Easy Team:
Crump
Red
Iron Cleft
Shadow Ball
Medium Team:
Shadow Queen
Bobbery
Green
Zap Cannon
Hard Team:
Iggy
General Guy
Regice
Doopliss
Daisy
8.00 PM
In the Easy Room…
Mysterious, disembodied voice: I have
a nose and yet no head,
I have two wings, heavy as lead,
Despite my wings, feathers I lack,
Although no legs, I've a tail in back,
Put it together, and I can fly,
Can you tell me, what am I?
Crump: Uh…
Iron Cleft: Aw, we’re hosed. I haven’t a clue.
Red: Black was always the smart one! He built the Trojan Bowser! WE COULDN’T BE MORE DOOMED!!!
Shadow Ball: WAFFLES!
Crump: Uh…
In the Medium Room…
MDV: Valuable I am, that you know,
Try to scratch me, you'll fail to do
so,
Rare it is for one to find me,
What am I, can you see?
Shadow Queen: Wow, that’s a good one.
Zap Cannon: I KNOW! I’ve never heard it before.
Bobbery is looking around for any clues, and finds a chest. He opens it to find a “5,000 coins for the pot” ticket.
Bobbery: Nice. That said, I can’t work this one out.
Green: I think that we should all regroup to try to figure these all out.
Shadow Queen: No, I think I can figure this one out…
In the Hard Room…
MDV: Who am I, I that am invisible to
your eye,
'Cept when the moon blocks the rest
of me from the sky,
To look at me at any time, a bad idea
it would be,
You ask me, “Who am I?” You tell me!
Regice: Well, this ain’t good.
Iggy: I agree, this is tough!
Doopliss: Hmm… I think I heard this one when I was a child… I just need some time to think about it.
Iggy, Punching Bag: Doopliss would be the perfect Mole. He’s an actor by trade, so he could confuse us easily. But is that just too obvious? I wonder…
Regice: Is there anything in the room that could be a clue?
General Guy: Nothing. Lemmy wants this hard for us.
Doopliss: Hmm… OH! OH! OH! THE SUN!!!
Nothing happens.
Doopliss: Oops.
Everyone else: *sigh*
General Guy: Wait… I think… Doopliss’ answer isn’t correct, but still true! The answer is the coronasphere, only visible during a total solar eclipse.
DING DING DING!!!
MDV: Congratulations! Here’s part of
the riddle for the password:
Now string them together, and answer
me this,
Which creature would you be unwilling
to kiss?
Regice: That’s part of the riddle?
MDV: It’s the very end of it. The other contestants will have to answer their riddles for the other parts of it.
8.24 pm
In the Easy Room…
Crump: Uh… Could we hear the riddle again?
MDV: I have a nose and yet no head,
I have two wings, heavy as lead,
Despite my wings, feathers I lack,
Although no legs, I've a tail in back,
Put it together, and I can fly,
Can you tell me, what am I?
Crump: Toughie.
Red: I agree. Where’s Black when you need him?
Shadow Ball: Can’t be a Lakitu.
Iron Cleft: Duh.
Crump: What flies? Birds, Tweeters, Lakitus, helicopters, airplanes-
DING DING DING!!!
MDV: Congratulations! Here’s part of
the riddle for the password:
First think of the person who lives
in disguise,
Who deals in secrets and tells naught
but lies.
Next, tell me what’s always the last
thing to mend…
Red: Yes…?
MDV: That’s all you get.
Easy Team: D’OH!!!
8.36 pm
In the Medium Room…
Shadow Queen: Is the answer gold?
Nothing happens.
Shadow Queen: I thought I had it.
Zap Cannon: It must be some kind of rare rock.
Daisy: Man, I just wanna go home and play Pokémon Diamond-
DING DING DING!!!
MDV: Congratulations! Here’s part of
the riddle for the password:
The middle of middle and end of the
end?
And finally give me the sound often
heard
During the search for a hard-to-find
word.
8.45 pm
Lemmy: Put the riddle together.
First think of the person who lives
in disguise,
Who deals in secrets and tells naught
but lies.
Next, tell me what’s always the last
thing to mend,
The middle of middle and end of the
end?
And finally give me the sound often
heard
During the search for a hard-to-find
word.
Now string them together, and answer
me this,
Which creature would you be unwilling
to kiss?
Shadow Queen: Someone who lives in disguise… an impostor? A spy?
Iron Cleft: Sound often heard… er… Er! Er’s a sound!
General Guy: Spy… er… Spider! The password is spider!
Zap Cannon types the password into the safe… and it opens!
Lemmy: Congratulations! 20,000 coins are added to the pot!
Everyone cheers except General Guy.
General Guy: Not exactly.
He pulls the 5,000-coin ticket out of his pocket.
Lemmy: Scratch that! Make it 25,000 coins to the pot! Well done, General Guy!
Pot: 25,000 coins
Lemmy: By the way, for those who were wondering, our MDV was Atomic Boo.
The players and Lemmy go to a hotel in Water Land and sit down to dinner.
9.45 PM
Shadow Queen: Mmm… lox.
General Guy: Apple tart for me.
Iggy: Chicken chow mein, yay!
Regice: Clear Gummi (Pokémon: Mystery Dungeon) is my thing.
Iron Cleft: Shroom Steak, all right!
Shadow Ball: Waffles!
Zap Cannon: Fuzzy meat, huh? I’ll give it a shot… Mmm. Nice.
Crump: A Peachy Peach for me!
Green: Shroom Steak for me, too!
Doopliss: Fruit Parfait. What can I say? I’ve got refined tastes.
Bobbery: Keel Mango. Mmm.
Red: Nutty Cake for me instead.
Daisy: Dried Fruit, tasty!
Lemmy: Well, how was your first challenge?
Shadow Queen: A mental challenge; interesting start, and personally, I hope for more.
Lemmy: That’s a very positive outlook for a demoness queen.
Lightning strikes Lemmy.
Lemmy: Ow. I’m going to take a little nappy now.
Lemmy falls down unconscious.
Shadow Queen, Demoness Queen: Hee-hee! That was fun! Gah! Peach is beginning to take over…
Daisy, Princess: Believe it or not, I actually like Shadow Queen better than Peach.
Lemmy wakes up somehow.
Lemmy: Ok. Here’s where everyone’s staying:
Room 1: Shadow Queen and Daisy
Room 2: Doopliss and General Guy
Room 3: Zap Cannon and Shadow Ball
Room 4: Lord Crump and Green
Room 5: Red Ninjakoopa and Admiral
Bobbery
Room 6: Iron Cleft and Iggy Koopa
Room 7: Regice
Regice: Why am I on my own?
Lemmy: BECAUSE!!!
Regice, Legendary Ice Golem: This guy is NUTS.
Lemmy, Annoyingly Obnoxious Host: I heard that.
Regice, Legendary Ice Golem: Don’t care.
2.00 AM
3 huge Sledge Bros. enter Regice’s room, tie him up, and take him to a secret location.
9.00 AM
Everyone except Regice goes downstairs.
Lemmy: I’m sure you’ve noticed, but Regice is missing. He has been taken to the Water Land prison, and is awaiting rescue. It is up to you 12 to do so. This is… Prison Break. You are to divide into 2 teams. 6 of you will cause a riot in the prison to distract guards, while the other will attempt to rescue Regice. There are 15,000 coins at stake here. Shadow Queen will be in charge of the riot team, and Green will be in charge of the rescue force. Choose your teams.
Riot Team:
Shadow Queen
General Guy
Crump
Iron Cleft
Doopliss
Red
Rescue Force:
Green
Iggy
Bobbery
Daisy
Zap Cannon
Shadow Ball
Water Land Prison: 10.00 AM
Lemmy: You have four hours. Ready? Go!
Riot Team
Shadow Queen: General Guy, let ‘em rip.
General Guy: Fire in the hole!
General Guy launches 5 bombs at the prison walls, allowing the riot team to enter. Meanwhile, the rescue force enters on the top floor while everyone’s distracted.
Iron Cleft: CHARGE!!!
Iron Cleft charges in, and starts beating up guards. He loots one to find a 2,000-coin ticket. Meanwhile, Shadow Queen and General Guy are releasing prisoners.
Prisoner: I was told that if I was released by one of you guys, I should give this to them.
The prisoner gives Shadow Queen an Exemption ticket.
Shadow Queen: YES!
She begins busting up the place with dark rays.
Rescue Force
Daisy: I’ll bet anything that Regice is at the very bottom.
Bobbery: Almost certainly.
Green: Bobbery, explode and drop us down to the next level.
He does so… but there are 24 guards in the room where they land.
Iggy: … Nice goin’, Goomba.
Green: Draw your weapons!
Bobbery prepares Hold Fast, Iggy pulls out his Hookshot, Green charges up his attack power, and Zap Cannon pulls out a Spiny and a Zap Cannon. Shadow Ball does the same with his Shadow Ball, and Daisy pulls out some vegetables.
Green: Attack!
Bobbery explodes, Iggy skewers some guards, Green Headbonks some guards to death, Zap Cannon and Shadow Ball knock out guards with their projectiles, and Daisy uses Daisy Bomber (like Peach Bomber from SSBM). They win, but are KO’d by a mysterious figure.
Riot Team, 12.14 PM
Doopliss has taken on the form of a guard and is destroying supplies in sheds. Shadow Queen and Iron Cleft are attacking the actual guards.
Iron Cleft: It’s more fun this way.
Shadow Queen: I agree! ^_^ Lustre Purge!
She does her charge-up attack from PM:TTYD and destroys part of the wall, and the entire 3rd floor of the prison.
Lemmy, Annoyingly Obnoxious Host: Man, Peach is NOT gonna like that.
Red and General Guy are in the Trojan Bowser and tank and are destroying everything in sight. By doing this, they find 2 3,000-coin tickets.
Rescue Force: 12.36 PM
The team wake up to find themselves in a cell on the 2nd floor. Roy Koopa is watching over them.
Roy: Die, Iggy!
Iggy: You can’t get through the cell.
Roy: I can still tell you to die. Regice is imprisoned behind my office. Did I mention I’m the warden of this place?
Iggy: …
He leaves.
Iggy: Bobbery, can you explode again?
Bobbery: Of course!
He destroys the bars, but the floor is too thick to be destroyed.
Shadow Ball: Odds are, we’ll have to fight Roy in order to get to Regice.
Zap Cannon: You don’t say.
Shadow Ball: I do say.
Everyone: …
They escape and head for the 1st floor, and beat up some guards. Green finds a 1,000-coin ticket, and they reach Roy’s office.
Iggy: I wish Shadow Queen and Iron Cleft were here. They could take out Roy.
???: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
????: Oh, shut up.
??? and ???? are revealed to be Iron Cleft and Shadow Queen respectively. They are thrown by a couple of ripped guards. Roy comes into the room.
Roy: Die, Iggy!
He KO’s Iggy, then Shadow Queen and Iron Cleft attack him.
Shadow Queen: Go, save Regice!!!
Rescue Force except Iggy: Right!!!
Iggy: …
Bobbery somehow picks up Iggy, and they go into Regice’s room. Bobbery destroys the bars, and they head back into Roy’s office, where the warden has been disabled by one of Shadow Queen’s beams. In the courtyard, the guards are beginning to repel the riot team.
Green: Go, go, go!!!
Everyone leaves the prison to complete the task!
Hotel, 3.00 PM
Lemmy: Congratulations. You passed! Shadow Queen found an exemption, I believe.
Shadow Queen: Yep.
Lemmy: You will not take the quiz tonight. 15,000 coins are added to the pot. Unless you found some coin tickets…?
Red, General Guy, Iron Cleft, and Green hold up their tickets.
Lemmy: Now, that’s 2,000 plus 3,000 plus 3,000 plus 1,000… equals 9,000 coins! 24,000 coins are added to the pot instead!
Pot: 49,000 coins
Location unknown, 7.00 PM
The players are sitting down. Their suitcases are beside Lemmy.
Lemmy: Time for the quiz: ten questions about the Mole.
Everyone sits down at a computer and the questions appear on screen.
1. Is the Mole male, female, or genderless?
Male
Female
Genderless
General Guy: Male
Zap Cannon: Male
Shadow Ball: Male
Green: Female
Crump: Male
Bobbery: Genderless
Iggy: Male
Iron Cleft: Female
Regice: Male
Doopliss: Male
Red: Genderless
Daisy: Male
2. What is the Mole’s occupation?
Demoness Queen, General, Tourist, Assistant
Interviewer, Psychopathic Goomba, Fourth Wall-Breaker, Sailor, Punching
Bag, Fighter, Legendary Ice Golem, Actor, Moronic Ninja, Princess
General Guy: …
Zap Cannon: …
Shadow Ball: …
Green: …
Crump: …
Bobbery: …
Iggy: …
Iron Cleft: …
Regice: …
Doopliss: …
Red: …
Daisy: …
3. What team was the Mole on during
the Riddles for Riddles game?
Easy, Medium, Hard
General Guy: Medium
Zap Cannon: Medium
Shadow Ball: Hard
Green: Easy
Crump: Medium
Bobbery: Easy
Iggy: Hard
Iron Cleft: Medium
Regice: Medium
Doopliss: Hard
Red: Medium
Daisy: Hard
4. After the Riddles for Riddles game,
what did the Mole have for dinner?
Lox, Apple Tart, Chicken Chow Mein,
Waffles, Clear Gummi, Fruit Parfait, Fuzzy meat, Keel Mango, Peachy Peach,
Shroom Steak, Nutty Cake, Dried Fruit
General Guy: …
Zap Cannon: …
Shadow Ball: …
Green: …
Crump: …
Bobbery: …
Iggy: …
Iron Cleft: …
Regice: …
Doopliss: …
Red: …
Daisy: …
5. What was the Mole’s role during the
Prison Break game?
Prisoner, Rescuer, Rioter
General Guy: Rescuer
Zap Cannon: Rioter
Shadow Ball: Rioter
Green: Prisoner
Crump: Rescuer
Bobbery: Rescuer
Iggy: Prisoner
Iron Cleft: Prisoner
Regice: Rioter
Doopliss: Rioter
Red: Prisoner
Daisy: Rescuer
6. Did the Mole find a coin ticket during
this episode?
Yes, No
General Guy: Yes
Zap Cannon: Yes
Shadow Ball: No
Green: Yes
Crump: Yes
Bobbery: No
Iggy: No
Iron Cleft: No
Regice: Yes
Doopliss: Yes
Red: No
Daisy: Yes
7. Which room does the Mole sleep in?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
General Guy: 2
Zap Cannon: 7
Shadow Ball: 4
Green: 4
Crump: 2
Bobbery: 1
Iggy: 5
Iron Cleft: 7
Regice: 4
Doopliss: 4
Red: 7
Daisy: 6
8. Does the Mole have an exemption?
Yes, No
General Guy: No
Zap Cannon: No
Shadow Ball: No
Green: No
Crump: No
Bobbery: No
Iggy: No
Iron Cleft: No
Regice: No
Doopliss: No
Red: No
Daisy: No
9. Did the Mole talk to the camera this
episode?
Yes, No
General Guy: No
Zap Cannon: Yes
Shadow Ball: No
Green: No
Crump: No
Bobbery: Yes
Iggy: No
Iron Cleft: Yes
Regice: Yes
Doopliss: No
Red: Yes
Daisy: No
10. Who is the Mole?
Shadow Queen, General Guy, Zap Cannon,
Shadow Ball, Green, Crump, Bobbery, Iggy, Iron Cleft, Regice, Doopliss,
Red, Daisy
General Guy: …
Zap Cannon: …
Shadow Ball: … WAFFLES!
Green: …
Crump: … PIE!
Bobbery: …
Iggy: …
Iron Cleft: …
Regice: …
Doopliss: …
Red: … Black! Help me!
Daisy: …
Location Unknown, 10.00 PM
Lemmy: Well, it’s time to reveal who is the Mole’s first victim. One by one, I will enter your names into this here computer-majigger, and if the screen turns green, you live to fight another day. But if it turns red, *makes slicing motion across his neck* but not literally, of course.
Iron Cleft: Bet it’s the first one to get entered because the author’s tired.
Iggy: You’re on!
Lemmy: … Red.
R-E-D-N-I-N-J-A-K-O-O-P-A
Red.
Iron Cleft: Pay up!
Iggy: Dang.
Iggy pays Iron Cleft 10 coins. Everyone laughs. The music that played whenever someone got executed on The Mole: The Next Deception begins playing. Red takes his suitcase and leaves. Lemmy follows him to a car, shakes his hand, and Red gets in. The car drives off, and Lemmy just stands there poignantly.
Next Time on The Mole: Deception on Plit…
Can Iron Cleft defeat Roy in Big Brother, Little Brother?
Regice has a trial by fire…
And the Mole gains their second victim.
Who is the Mole? Email me, and let me know who you think it is! It’ll let me know whether I need to do a better job of covering it up, or slip some more hints.
The End
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