Chapter One: The Fair
The Fair was here, the Fair was here! Thus was the cry that went through Bowser’s Castle last night, as Lemmy, Iggy, Roy, Larry, and Doshi prepared to go and have fun! And today? Today was the day they went!
They were already there; Lemmy and Iggy were trying to get different prizes (Lemmy had won one, Iggy had won two), Roy was beating up random helpless Fair-goers, Larry had just won five prizes and was now taking a break drinking soda), while Doshi was eating cotton candy.
“More!” Doshi said enthusiastically, shoving the remainder of his 21st cotton candy in his mouth.
“What-what flavor?” asked the Mushroomer at the cotton candy stand.
“Raspberry!” shouted Doshi in jubilation.
A while away was Lemmy, sitting on his fabled ball as he shot a stream of water into a dolphin’s mouth, sending a ship upwards. Next to him a Koopa child was doing the same, and beating Lemmy to boot!
“The Winner!” said the Koopa at the stall, giving the Koopa child a teddy bear.
“Wanna go again?” Lemmy asked the Koopa kid.
“I don’t got anymore coins,” said the child in a whining voice.
“I’ll pay for you,” Lemmy said graciously. The kid immediately sat down and started shooting the water. Lemmy waited until the kid was almost at the top and pulled out his Freeze Gun, and froze the water in the Koopa’s tube; the boat went up no more, and Lemmy took his time as he sent his own boat up the tube.
“The Winner!” said the Koopa at the stall, giving Lemmy a teddy bear. Lemmy took it and then blasted the Koopa kid’s teddy bear with his Freeze Gun. The kid quickly dropped the cold bear, which shattered when it hit the ground. Rolling away happily, Lemmy left the crying Koopa kid in search of Iggy, who he found winning another prize at the “Guess Your Weight” tent.
“Won another prize?” asked Lemmy.
“Yeah, my fourth!” said Iggy.
They looked at each other, and then rushed off to win more prizes. On the other side of the Fair was Roy, who was walking around after beating a small Goomba for his ice cream.
“Test Your Strength here!” called out a big burly Mushroomer. “See if you’re as strong as Mario!” Roy started at this, smirked, and walked up to the Test Your Strength Meter.
“How much?” asked Roy.
“Twelve coins,” said the burly Mushroomer.
“Here,” said Roy, throwing the Mushroomer some stolen money, and grabbing the hammer. He looked up the meter. The first level said "Iggy", which was followed by "Luigi", then "Peach", then "Daisy", and after a big space "Bowser", which was followed by "BBM", which was closely followed by "Mario" at the top.
“BBM?” asked Roy.
“Big Burly Mushroomer,” said the big burly Mushroomer. Roy grinned and swung the hammer. The bar soared up and hit the bell, which gave off a satisfying GONG.
“Er… um…” said the flustered Mushroomer. “Wha...what prize do ya want?”
“None,” said Roy, walking away. The Mushroomer gaped at him, and went to go cry in a latrine. Nobody noticed as Larry walked into the Test Your Strength tent and stole all the prizes.
“More!” demanded Doshi, having just finished off his 28th cotton candy.
“We-we don’t have any-anymore,” the Mushroomer at the cotton candy stall frightenedly said.
“Why not?!” demanded Doshi, banging his fists on the wooden stall.
“You ate it all!” cried out the Mushroomer, ready to wet himself.
“Oh,” said Doshi, turning around. “That’s all right then.” Doshi walked away and the Mushroomer sighed. It seemed as though a fly then flew into his throat, because the Mushroomer started gasping. Fortunately, someone close by knew the Heimlich. Unfortunately, that someone was Doshi, and he didn’t care.
As the Mushroomer died, Lemmy rolled up the Doshi, who was strolling along whistling "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" by Bach. “Yeah?” asked Doshi, somehow whistling and talking at the same time.
“Iggy’s got more prizes than I do,” said Lemmy.
“And?” asked Doshi.
“Fix it!” said Lemmy. Doshi shrugged, and made Iggy’s prizes burst into flames. “Thank you,” said Lemmy, rolling away.
Shortly, Iggy ran up to Doshi, who was now whistling the tune of "Memory" from "Cats". “Yeah?” asked Doshi, somehow whistling and talking at the same time.
“Lemmy’s got more prizes than I do!” said Iggy.
“And?” asked Doshi.
“Fix it!” said Iggy. Doshi shrugged, and Lemmy’s prizes burst into flames. “Thank you,” said Iggy, running away.
2 hours later...
Doshi was eating pretzels. Iggy and Lemmy had both won 17 prizes, gone to Doshi, and had their prizes burned to ash. Larry, hidden somewhere, had almost 200 prizes, and Roy, King of Sky Land, was watching Mario wait for the big burly Mushroomer to come back so that he could Test His Strength. The big burly Mushroomer had choked to death in the latrine, killed by the foul smells.
“Stupid Mario,” whispered Roy, crying with silent laughter. How true that statement was.
Doshi, not too far off, was eating his 30th pretzel.
“You guys are better than the hotdog guys!” said Doshi appreciatively. “They only had 19 hotdogs left when I got there.”
“I live to please,” said the worried Goomba at the stall. He only had two pretzels left.
“More!” demanded Doshi, holding out his hand. The Goomba gave him one. “Thanx!” said Doshi with his full mouth.
Lemmy, upset over not having a single prize, spotting Mario waiting foolishly, pulled out his Freeze Gun, and froze him. Iggy, upset over no having a single prize, spotted the frozen Mario, and went to pick him up.
“I HAVE CONQUERED MARIO!” shouted Iggy.
“HEY!” shouted Roy, running towards Iggy. “I WAS WATCHING THAT!”
“Uh-oohhh…” whimpered Iggy, as he soon disappeared under Roy’s fists. Nobody noticed as Larry came and took Mario away. Why? Because Lemmy was watching Iggy suffer.
“More!” demanded Doshi, having eaten his 32nd pretzel.
“I’ll give you more… tomorrow?” said the Goomba.
“’Kay,” said Doshi, walking away. The Goomba sighed, and started choking on his own bile that rose from below.
As Doshi walked on, his ears (Where oh where are his ears? Somewhere on his head I suppose. Hidden, like most lizards, is my guess.) picked up a conversation nearby.
“I don’t have the money!” said a girl’s voice.
“Ya don’t?” came a man’s voice. A Mushroomer’s, Doshi thought. “That’s too bad. Now I gatta hurt ya.”
“Oh, please don’t!” pleaded the girl. “I promise I’ll have it tomorrow, I promise!” Doshi didn’t like this conversation very much, but it drew his attention, and he warped away towards the noises.
“That’s whatcha said yesterday,” a big burly Mushroomer with a mustache said to the red Yoshi, who was decidedly female. “Sorry,” he said, pulling out a knife.
“Yes, you will be,” said Doshi behind him. The Mushroomer turned around and Doshi warped the Mushroomer to a locked latrine, where he choked on the fumes.
“You okay?” Doshi asked the red Yoshi.
“Yeah, thanks,” said the red Yoshi girl breathlessly. “Are you Doshi?”
“Yes, yes I am,” said Doshi proudly, glad that he had a reputation.
“Oh wow!” said the girl (as Doshi’s ego swelled).
“What’s your name?” Doshi asked the girl with interest.
“Oh,” said the girl, suddenly flustered, “it’s Rose.”
“Nice name,” Doshi said after some thought.
“Thanks,” said the red Yoshi whose name was Rose.
“Wanna come eat dinner at my place?” asked Doshi.
“Uh… really?!” shouted Rose.
“Yeah,” said Doshi, suddenly caught off-guard. “Why not?”
“Yeah,” said the girl dreamingly, getting closer to Doshi. “Why not?”
And so when the Fair ended, Lemmy left
with laughs, Roy left with bruised fists, Iggy left in a full body cast
(produced by the medic visiting on reports of sudden chokings), Larry left
with 203 prizes and a frozen Mario (to surprise and impress King Dad, also
known as Bowser), and Doshi left with a girlfriend named Rose.
Chapter 2: Good and Bad News
It was late at night when Larry, Roy, Lemmy, Doshi, Rose, and Iggy made it back to Bowser’s Keep.
“So, how was it?” Kammy asked Lemmy when they walked in.
“Fun!” Lemmy said enthusiastically, rolling on towards his room.
“When can I see King Dad?” Larry asked Kammy.
“Why?” she asked back.
“Because I wanna talk to him,” said Larry. He and Kammy narrowed their eyes at each other.
“He’s sleeping,” said Kammy.
“Then I’ll just have to talk to him tomorrow,” Larry said, walking to his room. Kammy watched him and then walked to her own bed.
Roy walked in followed by Doshi and Rose. Doshi was whispering to Rose, and Roy clearly heard the words “Roy”, “Kamek”, and “Issue”.
“What?” Roy demanded, turning on the Yoshi pair.
“What what?” said Doshi.
“What what what?” said Rose.
“Don’t make funna me!” Roy threatened. Rose giggled and Doshi warped the two of them to his room. Roy grumbled and stalked off.
Iggy poked his injured head in the door, and looked around. No one was there, so Iggy slowly and painfully made his way to the room he shared with Lemmy.
The next morning...
Bowser got to the table earlier than anyone else. Iggy soon came hobbling into the room in his body cast. “Roy beat you up again?” Bowser asked with a sigh. Iggy nodded.
They waited patiently for Lemmy, Roy, Ludwig, and Larry to come. Kamek and Kammy soon joined them, followed by the arrival of Karma Koopa, Ludwig’s reluctant sweetheart. After Bowser had finished growling at Karma, Wendy arrived, fresh from the bathroom with makeup and hair supplies. Just as they were about to start eating their differing meals, Doshi walked in, grabbed a box of cereal, two bowls, and two spoons, and walked out.
“What’s going on?” Bowser asked, confused by Doshi’s actions; the Dark Yoshi enjoyed eating his meals with the Koopa family.
“He brought home a girl he met at the Fair,” Lemmy said. Bowser sighed. Doshi with hormones? This could get ugly. Doshi walked back in.
“No, it won’t get ugly,” he said, and he thrust some envelopes at Bowser. “Your mail; bills mostly.” Doshi walked back out, stopping on the way to flick Lemmy on the back of his head.
Bowser sighed and started opening and reading the pile of mail on his placemat. “Electric bill, 10 coins more than last month; water bill, the same; phone bill-” Bowser stopped and stared at it. Everyone stopped eating.
“Yes King Dad?” Wendy answered in her sweetest voice.
“Over half this bill is because of your incessant talking,” Bowser said, his eyes glittering at Wendy. “You’re getting as bad as Morton, sooo,” said Bowser, enjoying the thought in his head, “you’re forbidden to use the phone- ANY phone,” Bowser corrected, “for three months. Okay Wendy?” The Koopalings looked at Wendy, who seemed as though she couldn’t decide whether to cry or scream in rage.
“OKAY, Wendy?” said Bowser loudly. Wendy nodded her head furiously and continued eating. Bowser opened the next to last envelope.
“It seems Wario is trying to start a ‘Wario Kart’ again,” said Bowser, sighing.
“He tries that every three weeks!” Ludwig commented.
“Yeah, it’s getting old,” said Lemmy.
“Why doesn’t someone go shut him up?” demanded Roy.
“Because nobody cares, Roy,” said Bowser, opening the last envelope. “No…” Bowser said, his face going pale. “No…”
“What is it, King Dad?” Lemmy and Ludwig asked together. Bowser looked up at the Koopalings.
“Uncle Wart is coming to visit tomorrow,” Bowser said. The Koopalings groaned. Everyone hated Wart’s visits, especially Bowser, since Wart was no longer going to bring Susan over, due to an incident with Larry, Morton, and a Wig Maker. Susan would never be the same again.
Bowser sighed again. “Wendy? Go get Morton out of the dungeon and bring him up here,” ordered Bowser. “We have to plan a strategy.” Wendy and Larry both walked out. Larry soon came back in, half carrying, half pulling a large present he dropped next to Bowser.
“King Dad?” Larry asked.
“Yes Larry?” Bowser said, eyeing the present appreciatively.
“I give you,” Larry, said, pulling a hidden cord, “Mario!”
Bowser gasped, along with the rest of the Koopalings (save Lemmy, and Morton, and Wendy, as they were not there); there was Mario, frozen, trapped, stuck, immobile, and completely at Bowser’s mercy.
“This is wonderful, Larry!” Bowser exclaimed, extremely pleased. “If you managed to do the same to Luigi, nothing would stand in my way of conquering the Mushroom Kingdom!”
“Oh… er… Yeah!” said Larry. “I’ll do it right after Uncle Wart goes back home!”
Bowser sighed. “Yeah… Go give Mario to the chefs and have them put him in the freezer, Larry,” said Bowser, returning his mind to the matter at hand: Wart’s visit.
To Be Continued...
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