Welcome back!
Due to unpopular demand, the author got bored of waiting and decided to
have two episodes in the same week! Enjoy this demo while it lasts, sonny,
you won't be gettin' any more any time soon!
Peach: I'm filing
a complaint for not adding me to the "What happened to..." section last
page!
Just try... You'll
fail, like the entire Beanbean Kingdom did!
Peach: I hate
you...
INTERLUDE: Sticks,
Moans, Broken Bones, and Magic!
Count Bleck is
muttering to himself while cuddling against the Dark Prognosticus.
Count Bleck:
Count Bleck is a great villain... Count Bleck is a great villain... Count
Bleck is a great villain!
Nastasia: Uh...
Co-
Count Bleck:
WHAAA! NASTASIA! Count Bleck has told you not to interrupt Count Bleck
during Count Bleck time!
Nastasia: Yeah,
well anyway, I'm here with O'Chunks and Dimentio, and...
Count Bleck:
SEND THEM IN, exclaimed Count Bleck in complete joy.
O'Chunks drops
in with a frown on his face. However, Dimentio seems rather amused
Count Bleck:
What is the meaning of the frown and smile that creeps Count Bleck out?
O'Chunks: Oy',
weel, yeh C. Er..meh...
Dimentio: We
failed! Looks like this smelly hero is smarter than we expected. Ha ha
ha!
Count Bleck:
BLECK! Screamed Count Bleck with dimensions of infinite anger. You two
are some of Count Bleck's finest! You have Count Bleck's team jackets and
everything!
Dimentio: I told
you to put a laser inside mine, but no!
Count Bleck:
Dimentio did not even fight!
Dimentio: The
only reason that overgrossly overproportioned oaf defeated me is because
I used a dragon to fight him. When we are knights in an honor-bound duel,
I shall prevail!
Count Bleck:
Count Bleck understands, Dimentio. You have done well. Count Bleck will
give you the keys to the Party Room.
Dimentio: HAPPIES!
Count Bleck:
Enjoy Count Bleck's horror movies on the high-def TV, and enjoy Count Bleck's
Wii with Super Smash Bros Brawl.
Dimentio: THAT
GAME ISN'T OUT YET! YAY!
Dimentio grabs
Count Bleck's keys. Which look like Count Bleck, and happily skips away
in the air.
Count Bleck:
And what does O'Chunks have to say to Count Bleck?
O'Chunks: Ir'm
serry, Count. If ye' be willin' teh give me one mor' chance, I think I
coud-
Count Bleck:
Count Bleck has no time for mulligans! You will write Count Bleck a 1,000-page
apology, and another 1,000-page report on how to beat the new hero. DOES
COUNT BLECK MAKE COUNT BLECK'S SELF CLEAR?!
O'Chunks: Yeh,
sir.
Count Bleck:
GO AND DO IT!
O'Chunks runs
away in fear
Count Bleck:
NASTASIA! SEND MIMI TO SIC THE HEROES!
Nastasia: Actually,
I already did that, K?
Count Bleck:
Excellent... She cannot be defeated with Count Bleck's gift.
Nastasia: Yeah,
so I'm going to crush the resistance, K?
Count Bleck:
Count Bleck guesses you can do that.
Nastasia leaves.
Meanwhile, Peach's body is seen lying on the ground
Peach: Ooh!
But, that's not
important, because Waluigi's body is on the ground at the other side of
the castle.
Peach: HEY!
Sorry, but statistically,
Waluigi is a lot funnier than you. Anyway, a Koopa Troopa and a Hammer
Bro run up to him
Hammer Bro: SWEET!
I FOUND ANOTHER SPEAR!
Waluigi stands
up
Waluigi: Ung...
What happened?
Hammer Bro: HOLY!
ANOTHER TALKING SPEAR! BURN IT, BURN IT!
The Koopa Troopa
holds out a flamethrower
Waluigi: NO WAIT!
I'M NOT A SPEAR! I'M A REALLY SKINNY GUY!
Koopa: Sorry
about that, man.
Hammer Bro: Wow...
HEY! I REMEMBER YOU! YOU'RE THE GUY WHO ALMOST MADE ME LOSE MY $20 SALARY!
Koopa: Only 20?
I get $40 for washing King Bowser's back.
Hammer Bro: JOHNSON!
WHY YOU LITTLE...
Hammer Bro strangles
Johnson until he lays on the ground as a pile of Dry Bones
Waluigi: I'm...
scared.
Hammer Bro: Well,
I represent a general of Bowser's, who was hired on when Jagger quit to
be Jinx's assistant. MY NAME IS MARK!
Waluigi: Mark?
Mark: YES, BUT
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! WE HAVE TO EVAC! ROLL OUT! ROLL OUT!
Not knowing anything
about what's happening, Waluigi runs after Mark. Eventually, they make
it to a dead end
Mark: NO! NO!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Waluigi: SSH!
KEEP IT DOWN!
???: He's right,
Mark, you should really keep it down... AND JOIN THE GLORY OF COUNT BLECK!
Mark: Johnson?
Mark and Waluigi
look behind themselves and see Johnson fully animated and wearing cool
sunglasses. Nastasia is with him
Mark: So YOU'RE
the one making everyone spit out kooky-talk about hating Bowser! FOR LORD
BOWSER!
Mark charges
at Nastasia in slow-motion.
Nastasia: Ugh.
In regular motion,
Johnson throws one of his ribs at Mark, knocking him out
Nastasia: I'll
get him when he wakes up, but you, dear stick guy, will join Count Bleck's
team right here, right now!
Waluigi: N-N-NO!
Nastasia: Sorry,
you've been traded from your own team of consciousness... and onto mine!
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Suddenly, Waluigi
disappears in a flash of light
Nastasia: UGH!
I HAVE THE WORST LUCK!
Chapter 2: Mansions
and Monsters and Quizzes, Oh My!
Suddenly, Waluigi
finds himself on top of Flipside Tower
Waluigi: Huh?
Where am I? HEY! Nice view from up here!
Wario comes out
of the door to Lineland
Waluigi: WARIO!
Wario: Wa-wa-WALUIGI?!
Both run up to
each other looking extremely happy.
Waluigi: WARIO!
Wario: Waluigi!
Waluigi: WARIO!
Wario: Waluigi!
Tippi: Disgusting...
Just as they
are about to embrace, Wario hits Waluigi off of the tower
Wario: THAT'S
FOR NOT PAYING ME BACK THAT GO-KART RENTAL!
Tippi: 0.0
Wario: You get
used to it. It's a brother thing.
Wario jumps off
of the tower and lands on Waluigi, who is unconscious and badly broken
in many places
Wario: Ouch...
That looked like it hurt. Happy that I landed on you!
Tippi: You know,
there IS such a thing as an elevator!
Wario: That's
not important now. WALUIGI'S GOING TO BE OKAY!
Tippi: He's not
moving.
Wario: HE'LL
BE FINE!
Tippi: He's not
breathing...
Wario: HE DOES
THAT A LOT!
Tippi: His heart
stopped beating.
Wario: Uh… Is
that normal?
Tippi: NO YOU
IDIOT! HE DIED! D-I-E-D, DIED!
Wario: I'm pretty
sure that's not how you do the alphabet.
Tippi: -_-
Suddenly, Merlon's
ghost appears and possesses Waluigi
Merluigi: WOW,
WHAT AN AWFUL NAME! AND NOW THAT I HAVE REVIVED IN THIS BODY, I SHALL HAUNT
YOU FOREVER! OOOOOOHHHHHH!
Suddenly, Foreman
Spike appears with a vacuum and sucks Merlon out of Waluigi
Tippi: How do
you keep FINDING us?
Foreman Spike:
I'll tell you later.
Foreman Spike
destroys Merlon's house before leaving town. However, the possession by
Merlon was enough to get Waluigi back to life
Waluigi: WALUIGI
NUMBUH ONE!
Wario: No Kids
Next Door references.
Waluigi: It wasn't
one.
Wario: Oh...
All right then.
Waluigi: What
happened?
Wario: I dunno,
ask the butterfly.
Tippi: Well...
Tippi explains,
with excruciating detail, what happened so far
Tippi: And here
we are now, at floor 3, altitude 20 feet, fifth brick from the tower, two-hundredth
brick from the end, right next to a heart pillar.
Waluigi: Interesting.
Wario has fallen
asleep. In fact, there is a large puddle of drool around him
Waluigi: WARIO!
BANDITOS!
Wario: WHERE?!
Waluigi: Good
morning.
Tippi: You guys
do that every morning?
Wario Bros: Pretty
much.
Tippi: -_-
Suddenly, the
next Heart Pillar appears out of thin air
Wario: Wow...
Tippi: Convenient...
Welderburg appears
from underneath
Welderburg: I
give you the pillars, and you don't kill me, ya?
Wario: Aw...
Welderburg: Fine,
you only half-kill me.
Wario: DEAL!
Tippi and Waluigi:
-_-
Wario puts the
Heart in the Heart Pillar. An orange door appears on top of Flipside Tower.
Wario: LET'S
GO!
Wario starts
climbing the tower... again
Waluigi: Is there
an elevator?
Tippi: Actually,
yes.
Waluigi: Idiot.
Tippi and Waluigi
go up the elevator, while Wario struggles to get up
Wario: HOW DID
YOU-
Both: Eleva-
Wario: NOT IMPORTANT!
LET'S GO!
Wario charges
through the orange door. Waluigi slaps himself in the forehead, and slaps
Tippi's forehead for her, and then enters the orange door
Chapter 2-1:
Marsh of the Idiots
After commenting
on the awful title, which is obviously a pun on "March of the Penguins",
all three make it to an extremely bright and cheerful-looking swamp
Tippi: Wow...
This makes no sense for a swamp.
Waluigi: Agreed.
Wario: It looks
like that swamp that I made in my coloring book!
Waluigi and Tippi:
-_-
The three are
able to walk, yes, walk through the swamp without any problems whatsoever.
Well, except for a few venomous bugs that repeatedly inject Waluigi and
Tippi with a poisonous fluid. Eventually, they make it to four doors blocked
by a jack-in-the-box dragon thing and a row of blocks.
Wario: Now what?
Suddenly, the
Jack-in-the-box dragon thing springs up
JITBDT: ROAR!
I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL... AND THEN THE MEATBALL I SMELL IN THE FAT ONE'S
POCKET!
Wario: MY MEATBALL!
Tippi: You had
a meatball in your pocket this whole time?
Waluigi: That's
what probably attracted all of those bugs!
Wario: Those
whatnows?
Out of anger,
Tippi reaches into Wario's back pocket and steals the meatball. She then
throws it to Waluigi, who throws it inside the dragon thing
Dragon Thing:
Oooh...
The Dragon Thing
collapses
Tippi: He's dead.
Wario: It was
only eleven months old!
Waluigi: -_-
One funeral later...
Wario: All right,
how do we get through those brick blocks where they're all lined up like
that, and I can't hit them from underneath?
Waluigi: Your
shoulder charge?
Wario: NO SUCH
THING EXISTS!
Waluigi: But...
Never mind.
Wario: There
must be some way...
Wario is leaning
on top of a pipe that says "Way to destroy blocks lined up like the ones
outside. Come in, there are only minor traps! Seriously!"
Tippi: Um...
Wario?
Wario: NOT NOW!
Waluigi pushes
Wario into the pipe
Tippi: Good thinking.
Waluigi: What?
Oh, that. I was just getting him back for almost killing me with that whole
tower incident.
Tippi: -_-
Waluigi and Tippi
both jump down the pipe. Wario is there, trying to figure out what to do
Wario: THIS ROOM
IS EMPTY!
Waluigi: Must
be a…
Wario and Tippi:
NO, DON'T SAY...
Waluigi: Secret
door!
Bloo: SECRET
DOOR!
Out of excitement,
Bloo jumps up and down until he finds an invisible switch, revealing...
Bloo: A SECRET
DOOR!
Bloo opens the
door. Fire pours out, causing him to run outside on fire.
Waluigi: I thought
it only said minor traps. And who is that guy?
Tippi: I dunno,
but he's weird and gives us headaches. And seriously, when do labels lie?
Meanwhile...
Count Bleck:
DARN IT! COUNT BLECK'S LABEL DIDN'T WORK!
Back inside the
pipe...
Wario and Waluigi
are in another room with thousands of strange, one-eyed things
Wario: WHAT?!
Waluigi: WHAT
ARE THESE THINGS?!
Tippi: They're
Growmebas. They multiply.
Wario: Well then...
Wario holds up
a Yu-gi-oh Card. All of the Growmebas turn back into one
Waluigi and Tippi:
WHAT?!
Growmeba: HOW?!
Wario: Simple:
My Despell card deactivated your Multiply spell card, causing you to revert
back into one form.
All Three: 0.0
Wario: What?
I have to do SOMETHING while Waluigi is buying groceries.
Waluigi hits
the Growmeba in the eye, causing it to dwindle away. A giant treasure chest
then appears
Wario: AWESOME!
Suddenly, Bomberman
comes
Bomberman: THE
CHEST IS MINE!
Bomberman puts
a bomb inside the chest. It explodes, as does Boomer, the Pixl inside of
it
Wario: NOW WHAT
AM I GOING TO DO FOR FUN?!
Bomberman: Uh…
Here's a Time Bomb, it'll explode in 52 seconds… so, uh, use it and have
fun. All right? Okay... bye.
Bomberman runs
away
Wario: What a
swell guy...
Waluigi: WHAAAAAA!
THAT THING'S GOING TO BLOW ANY SECOND!
Wario: Yeah,
but that guy was nice...
Waluigi: WHAT
DO YOU VALUE MORE, NICENESS OR YOUR LIFE?!
Wario: When have
I ever valued niceness?
Waluigi: But
you just-
Wario stuffs
the Time Bomb down Waluigi's throat
Waluigi: WHAAA!
Tippi: AAAHHHHHHHH!
Wario: That'll
teach YOU!
Waluigi runs
outside. Suddenly, a Cheep Cheep appears
Cheep Cheep:
I'M TRYING OUT FOR THE WRESTLING AND THE EATING TEAM THIS YEAR!
Cheep Cheep body
slams Waluigi, causing the Time Bomb to fling out. Cheep Cheep then dives
into the air and eats the Time Bomb. The Cheep Cheep explodes, but all
it blows up is the blocks and the four doors. Wario and Tippi come out
of the pipe
Tippi: What happened?
Waluigi: A Cheep
Cheep exploded, got the bomb out of me, and caused all of those doors to
explode.
Wario: Great...
NOW how are we supposed to get through the level?
Suddenly, a giant
door falls from the sky
Wario: Convenient...
Waluigi: Odd,
though.
The group walk
through the door. They then see a guy in a slave get-up
Slave: HEY! I’VE
GOT SOME NICE INFO FOR YOU!
Waluigi: Could
you tell us?
Slave: NO! I
ONLY TELL TOTALLY HOT BABES!
Wario and Waluigi
leave
Wario: *whisper
whisper*
Waluigi: OH NO!
YOU'VE TRICKED ME INTO A LOT OF CRAZY THINGS, BUT I WILL NOT DO THAT!
Wario *whisper*
Waluigi: Oh,
well if you put it that way...
Wario: *whisper*
Waluigi: Fine,
I'll do it.
Tippi: WHAT DO
YOU MEAN?! ALL HE SAID WAS WHISPER!
Waluigi: It's
a brother thing.
Waluigi goes
back to the slave, but with a wig, a fake grass skirt, and a tee made of
leaves and twigs.
Slave: Humina,
humina...
Waluigi: (in
his most feminine voice possible, which is not very good) Uh… hi. You have
some info?
Slave: Yeah,
Merlee's Mansion is dangerous.
Waluigi: That's
it?
Slave: Yeah.
Waluigi: Okay,
bye.
Waluigi leaves
Tippi: What did
(Oh my DAD, that's the ugliest mess ever!) the slave (Dear lord!) say?
(I'm going to hurl!)
Waluigi: Merlee's
Mansion is dangerous.
Tippi: That's
it?
Waluigi: Yeah...
WARIO, I HATE YOU FOR DOING THAT TO ME! THAT WAS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!
Waluigi chases
Wario to the end of the level. No enemies attack them, because by some
twisted logic, everyone but Wario and Tippi think Waluigi is beautiful
Tippi: Now that's
just wrong.
Waluigi hits
the Star Block. Apparently, the block doesn't like his getup and tears
it off. The enemies are all shocked and spit toward the ground
Wario: Now that
level was just twisted.
Chapter 2-2:
Waluigi's Mansion, A Romance Novel.
Wario, Waluigi,
and Tippi are suddenly at a large, haunted-looking mansion
Wario: This isn't
so bad.
Tippi: ARE YOU
KIDDING? IT'S AWFUL!
Lightning flashes,
making the house look monstrous
Tippi: IT'S COVERED
IN DUST!
Wario Bros: -_-
Wario looks inside,
and sees two large guard dogs that look like treasure boxes
Wario: WHAT ARE
THOSE THINGS?
Tippi: Point
the Wiimote at them, and I'll tell you.
Wario points
his Wiimote at the guard dogs
Tippi: Those
are Gnips. They are the guards of Merlee's Mansion and Merlee's personal
pets. They don't do damage, but they do eat you and then spit you out outside
of the mansion.
Wario: So...
they're dogs?
Tippi: Basically.
Wario holds up
Waluigi
Waluigi: HEY!
WHADYA DOING?!
Wario: GNIPS!
HERE, BOYS! GET THE STICK! GET THE STICK, BOYS!
Gnips: ARF! ARF!
Wario throws
Waluigi to the end of the hallway, breaking the wall at the end. The Gnips
try to fetch Waluigi, but they are too large to fit through the wall. They
then spot Wario and Tippi.
Wario and Tippi:
Crud.
The Gnips eat
them, then spit them out of the mansion
Tippi: Great...
Now how are we supposed to get through?
Wario: Why do
anything? Why not just go on hiatus from this story for a chapter?
Tippi: Well,
I could use a break...
Wario: NO! YOU
WILL NOT AGREE WITH ME!
Tippi: -_-
Five unsuccessful
break-ins later...
Wario: Time to
take a nap.
Wario takes a
nap on top of Tippi
Tippi: GET OFF!
Meanwhile, back
in the mansion
Waluigi: I'll
kill Wario when he gets in here...
Suddenly Mimi,
dressed as a maid, walks in
Mimi: HI! Welcome
to Merlee's Mansion! I'm Merlee's housemaid, Mimi! But you can call me
Mimikins if you want. *giggle*
Waluigi is just
staring
Mimikins: Is
something wrong?
Waluigi bursts
out of the mansion, and bursts back in with a tuxedo, chocolates, a cake,
flowers, 1,000 coins, and many more things
Waluigi: WILL
YOU MARRY ME?!
Mimi: WHAT?!
Ew...
Waluigi becomes
a broken shell of a man
Narrator: And
so, Waluigi spent many days on the open rails, before he found a new calling
and reason for life: business working.
Waluigi: NO,
I SAID YOU OWE ME FIFTY-THREE DOLLARS! DON'T GET ANGRY WITH ME! I'LL SHOW
YOU WHO'S A RIP-OFF ARTIST, BLOO!
Narrator: And
then the void swallowed all...
The End
Wait, what do
you mean I just made that all up? It's right here on... oops, that's my
autobiography. Anyway, I'll start back where I didn't start making it up...
Waluigi returns
with a burnt rose
Waluigi: Will
you marry me?
Mimi: I hate...
Waluigi runs
into the top rightmost room, crying
Mimi: ...that
rose. You are half-decent.
Waluigi: *sob*
Maybe that button near the end of the room will distract me from Mimi...
my love.
Waluigi presses
the button, and a spiked roof starts falling.
Waluigi: That's
okay- Without Mimi, I am nothing.
Meanwhile, outside
of the mansion...
Tippi: GET OFF!
Wario: No more
garlic fries for me, Mommy...
Wario hits the
mansion with his arm, causing it to quake and a chest to drop in Waluigi's
hands
Waluigi: MAYBE
MIMI WILL LIKE THIS!
Waluigi jets
out of the room at lightning speed
Waluigi: OH DARLING,
I'D LIKE YOU TO HAVE THIS CHEST!
Mimi opens it
and finds a key
Mimi: I don't
need this...
Mimi throws the
key randomly. However, it lands in a lock keeping a giant Gnip tied to
a door, unlocking both the door and the Gnip
Mimi: OH NO,
GNAW!
Waluigi: I'LL
SAVE YOU!
Waluigi tries
to put himself in Mimi's way, but fails. Gnaw just knocks him away, and
chases Mimi out of the mansion. Meanwhile...
Tippi: I'm dead.
Gnaw comes, chasing
after Mimi. He hits Wario and Tippi right into Waluigi, who goes into Gnaw's
door and hits the Star Block
Wario: WHO WOKE
ME UP?!
Waluigi: Mimi...
Wario: I'LL KILL
HER!
Waluigi: NOT
IF I KILL YOU FIRST!
Tippi: Idiot
boys...
Chapter 2-3:
The Things I Do For Love...
Wario and Waluigi
end up further in the mansion
Waluigi: Mimi...
Wario: Will you
shut up about your imaginary girlfriend and HELP US ALREADY?!
Wario notices
a vase on top of a coin block
Wario: OOH! A
COIN BLOCK!
Tippi: WARIO,
NO! YOU'LL BREAK THE VASE!
Waluigi: WHAT
IF IT'S MIMI'S?!
Wario: She doesn't
exist, and you're right, Tippi...
Tippi: Good.
Wario: Now, just
let me go upstairs and get something else that can get the coin out, but
not break the vase...
Tippi: Good call...
However, it takes
Tippi two seconds to realize that there aren't any stairs, and that the
coin block is the only way up.
Tippi: Wario,
NOOO!
CRASH!
Wario: Oops,
I broke the vase of Crash Bandicoot.
Suddenly, Mimi
enters the room
Waluigi: MIMI!
MY ONE TRUE LOVE!
Mimi: EEK! YOU
BROKE MY VASE, YOU CREEPS!
Waluigi: B-b-but
I didn't break it.
Mimi: I OWN YOU
FREAKS UNTIL YOU CAN PAY IT OFF!
Waluigi: YAY!
WHAT CAN I DO?!
Mimi: WORK IN
MY GENERATOR ROOMS UNTIL YOU CAN PAY OFF THE DEBT OF ONE MILLION RUBBIES!
Wario: Why would
I pay you back?
Mimi pulls out
a wardrobe and reveals it to Wario. A shrill scream is heard, and several
tentacles reach out of the wardrobe. Mimi then closes it
Mimi: Do you
want to go in there?
Wario: N-N-N-NO!
Mimi: THEN WORK
LABOR, GERBIL! I'm off to watch Super Ultra Goomba Bros!
Mimi leaves
Waluigi: WHATEVER
YOU SAY, MY LOVE!
Waluigi goes
into the basic energy generator and starts hitting the block that gives
Mimi power like crazy
Slave Warden:
WOAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SPEED!
Wario and Tippi
enter the room
Tippi: I guess
Mimi really is real... What a heartless evil witch.
Wario: Who's
Mimi? Well, anyway, I ORDERED YOU TO GET ME THAT TURKEY CLUB AN HOUR AGO!
Tippi: You said
no such thing!
Wario: I did,
in a deleted scene.
Flashback...
In the swamp
Wario: Tippi,
give me a turkey club
Tippi: Wha?
End Flashback
Tippi: That proves
nothing. Anyway, we have to pay off that debt, or Mimi will force us into
the scary wardrobe of no return.
Wario: I WANT
A TURKEY CLUB!
Tippi: NO, I
THINK THAT YOU SHOULD-
While the two
argue, the slave warden has to pull Waluigi away from the power machine,
for fear of a blackout
Slave Warden:
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! You've already given Mimi enough power for a year. Here,
take these 100,000 rubbees and go to the more stable VIP room. The code
is 6464, the numbers needed to-
Waluigi: TEXT
MIMI'S NAME! THANKS!
Waluigi text
messages Mimi
Mimi: Huh? I
Lov U? Waluigi? Who is Waluigi?
Meanwhile...
Waluigi: (in
a giant hamster wheel) FOR LOVE!
Slave Warden:
Wow, this guy might just beat the other guy.
Another hamster
wheel shows Sonic the Hedgehog, shocked at how fast Waluigi can run
Meanwhile...
Wario: AND THAT
IS WHY GEORGE KOOPINGTON IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN RONALD GOOMBAN!
Tippi: NO WAY!
RONALD GOOMBAN WAS AN ACTOR!
Wario: Wait,
what were we talking about again?
Tippi: I dunno,
something about a turkey club or something...
Wario: Well,
I STILL WANT IT!
Wario gets angry
and smashes down a wall in the hallway, releasing a Pixl named Slim
Slim: Yo, yo,
yo, master Slim in the house, dawg! Lemme energize you by countin' to ten!
One foo, two foo, fifteen foo, pi foo yum, foo...
Wario: Quick,
let's kill it!
Wario hits Slim
into a wall. However, Slim lives
Slim: HAHA!
A rubbee drops
from the sky and slices Slim in half
Slave: YOU STINK
AT MATH! MY MATH TEACHER TOLD ME TO DO THAT TO ANYONE WHO STUNK!
Tippi: Your math
teacher scares me...
Slave: Finally,
someone agrees with me! Here, let me tell you a secret: there's a secret
safe past a secret electric security system that's secretly purple and
secretly has awful humming where a secret safe with secret code 3920353
is on the secret top floor, and you get there from a secret staircase that's
secretly right next to you. In secret, of course.
Wario notices
a staircase next to him
Wario: Could
you repeat that? Preferably without using the word "secret".
Slave: I've already
said too much...
The slave runs
away
Tippi: He scares
me, too...
Wario: Agreed.
Wario and Tippi
make it to the electrical security system
Tippi: How do
we get through?
Wario: I'll flip.
Wario flips into
3D. However, the security system still blocks him
Wario: I think
I can still do it.
Tippi: -_-
Wario runs through
as fast as he can. However, unlike Mario, he doesn't automatically spring
back, and instead keeps going. He ends up as a ball of electricity
Tippi: What's
this?
Tippi notices
that right next to her is a switch labeled "Security System Power Switch".
Tippi: Why Mimi
didn't put this on the other side, I'll never know.
Tippi turns it
off and floats to Wario. When she gets there, she already sees that Wario
has 1,000,000 rubbees with him, and that the safe has a giant hole blown
into it
Tippi: Wasn't
there a code for it?
Wario: I forgot
it. Who are you?
Tippi: How'd
you get the hole in the safe?
Wario: It just
exploded, and then the electricity went off.
Tippi: Well,
at least we can pay off…
Suddenly, Howzit
comes
Howzit: This
the stuff?
Wario: Yeah,
just store it.
Howzit: Gotcha,
boss.
Howzit rolls
back to Flipside with the 1,000,000 Rubbees.
Tippi: WHY DID
YOU DO THAT?!
Wario: Do you
know how much an idiot would buy those things for? I'D BE RICH...ER! But
I still want the money used in the Cash Heart...
Tippi: CHAOS
Heart!
Wario: Same thing.
Tippi: We're
never getting out of here...
Meanwhile, Waluigi
walks into Mimi's room
Mimi: Welcome
to Rubbee Savings and Loan! May I take your rubbees?
Waluigi: I LOVE
YOU!
Mimi: That's
nice. Rubbees?
Waluigi: HERE'S
THE LABOR OF MY LOVE!
Waluigi drops
1,000,000 rubbees in front of Mimi
Mimi: Well, thanks
for paying back your loan... in... full? NO! YOU RUINED MY WONDERFUL, FUNDERFUL,
MONEYFUL CURSE!
Waluigi: I DIDN'T
MEAN TO, AND I'LL BUY AIR FRESHENER, AND PUT ON DEODERANT, AND SHOWER REGULARLY!
Mimi: CURSES!!!
Mimi disappears
in a large explosion
Waluigi: My life
is over...
Wario and Tippi
walk in
Tippi: I heard
Mimi screaming, and he was hoping that a spider was on her hamburger or
something.
Wario: HUNGRY!
HUNGRY!
Waluigi: I paid
off the loan... THEN MY SWEET DIED! MIMI! WHERE ARE YOU?!
Wario: HA HA,
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DEAD!
Waluigi: GRRR!
Waluigi pulls
out the wardrobe of evil doom and uses it on Wario. Wario kicks it so that
it faces the bars guarding the Star Block. The wardrobe eats the bars and
then bursts into flames
Waluigi: NOOOOO!
YET ANOTHER MOMENTO OF MY SWEET THAT I MISSED!
Wario: Get over
it and get a life.
Tippi hits the
Star Block and the trio go to the next level
Chapter 2-4:
Rhyming Basement, Bathroom Blues
Wario, Waluigi,
and Tippi find themselves in a large basement.
Wario: HOW MANY
ROOMS DOES THIS CRAZY LADY HAVE?!
Waluigi: MIMI!
WHERE ARE YOU, MY LOVE?!
Voice: The mansion
has 6,000,000 rooms! Full of bumps and stairs and booms!
Suddenly, an
apparition of a gypsy-like person who looks like Merlon appears
Apparation: Fear
not, for I am a ghost. I am Merlee, queen of roasts! This is my mansion,
dears, now come and find me before he goes into tears!
Waluigi is crying
Waluigi: Where's
my Mimi?!
Merlee: Mimi
is an evil witch, she should be paddled with a switch! She is an evil minion
of thee, Count, so beat her, can't you see?
Waluigi: NO!
SHE'S GOOD!
Merlee: Just
come and find me, the magical Merlee! But watch out, don't let your eyes
fool, you, because they look kinda cool! Mimi may trick you in the end,
and that could be around the bend!
Merlee disappears
Wario: Uh...
What just happened?
Tippi: That girl
told us not to trust our eyes, and Waluigi is crying in the corner.
Waluigi: MIMI
IS GOOD! *sob, sob* MIMI IS NICE! I LOVE HER! *sob*
Wario: I hate
you...
Waluigi: MIMIIIIIIII!
Wario holds up
Waluigi and uses him as a battering ram to destroy most of the walls in
the mansion. Eventually, they make it to the room with Merlee.
Merlee: ACK!
YOU DESTROYED MY BEAUTIFUL HOME! For lack of property damage, I was going
to give you a tome. But not anymore, you annoying boar!
Tippi: He's just
a slop and a hog, not a boar.
Merlee: But,
you did find me, and I'll give you the key to your destiny...
Wario: JUST GIVE
ME THE PURE HEART!
Merlee: For one
million rubbees! I'll even throw in Breadward, a Pixl made of oats and
lard!
Breadward flies
in
Tippi: Hi Breadward,
what can you do?
Breadward: Use
the Force.
Tippi: Really?
Wow, we could... Oh wait, never mind. You're going to be gone soon.
Breadward: Why
do you say that?
Wario eats Breadward
Wario: That tasted
MUCH better than the flying, talking French fries!
Merlee: YOU ARE
A FREAK, YOU BIG FOOL! I HATE YOU MORE THAN A MONKEY WRENCH TOOL! SO NOW,
YOU OWE ME! YOU ARE A SLAVE... TO MERLEE!
Suddenly, Merlee's
ghost appears and fires a ray beam at Merlee
Merlee's Ghost:
THIS IDIOT ISN'T ME! I'M THE REAL MERLEE!
Merlee: NO, I'M
MARLEE... CRUD!
Merlee turns
into Mimi
Waluigi: MY LOVE!
YOU'RE ALIVE!
Mimi: YOU ALWAYS
RUIN MY FUN! LET ME SHOW YOU POWER!
Mimi twists her
head around her body, making disgusting cracking noises
Waluigi: MY LOVE!
DO YOU NEED A SAUNA TREATMENT?!
Suddenly, Mimi
grows six spider-like legs. Her face becomes terribly distorted, and her
dress-like body drops from the head
Waluigi: AAH!
YOU'RE A MONSTER! I HATE YOU!
Tippi: 0.0
Wario: That's
my bro: judge a woman by their looks and cash!
Tippi: That's
just awful!
Mimi: I HATE
YOU ALL! DIE! Mimimimimimimimimimimi...
Mimi charges
after Wario. Wario tries hitting Mimi, but is repelled away for some reason.
Mimi: Count Bleck
gave me a barrier. SO I'M INVINCIBLE!
Wario: EVERY
BARRIER COMES OFF WITH SOMETHING!
Wario sprays
Mimi with a hose, washes her with soap, dips her in nuclear acid, fires
a laser at her, sets her on fire, dips her in tar, mauls her with a baseball
bat, crashes a computer on her, feeds her a cookie, hits her with a sword,
attacks her with The Super Fist of the Nosehair, throws spears at her,
hits her with a torpedo, drops Bob-ombs on her, and sweeps toxic goo at
her. Meanwhile, Waluigi and Tippi play Candy Land.
Waluigi: I'M
ALMOST TO CANDY CASTLE!
Tippi: CURSE
YOU, GLOPPY THE GLOP MONSTER INSIDE THE CHOCOLATE MARSH!
Waluigi: You're
just angry because I got onto the Rainbow Path!
Tippi: THAT AND
YOU MADE ME GO TO PLUMMY, WHO'S AT SQUARE ONE!
Waluigi: Aw...
Does the wittle butterfly wanna cry?
Tippi beats Waluigi
up just as Wario gives up
Wario: All right,
I guess that barrier is invincible.
Mimi: NOW DIE!
Mimi hits Wario
with a rubbee. Wario catches it, grabs Waluigi and Tippi, and shoulder-charges
through the wall
Waluigi: Why
couldn't you do that in Chapter 2-1?
Wario: WHAT AM
I DOING?!
Meanwhile...
Merlee: Goodie,
my spell works! I hate that my life is in the hands of these dorks!
Back inside the
mansion...
Wario: Where's
that Merlee chick?
Tippi: I dunno?
Waluigi: Guys...
I gotta go.
Both: GO IN THE
BATHROOM!
Waluigi: MIMI
IS UGLY!
Both: FINALLY,
YOU AGREE WITH US!
Wario stops at
two bathrooms. However, Waluigi has to go really bad, so he dashes inside
the girl's room
Tippi: WALUIGI!
YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE! THAT'S ONE OF THE NATURAL LAWS!
Mimi suddenly
appears
Mimi: I gotta
go poddy...
Mimi strolls
into the girl's bathroom. Suddenly...
Three high-pitched
voices: EEK!
Wario barges
in while Tippi hits her head against a wall. Wario then sees that Waluigi
is inside a stall with Merlee in the toilet and Mimi just staring in fear.
Waluigi: IT'S
ICKY! GET THE PLUNGER!
Wario: There
is none...
Waluigi: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Merlee: HIP HIP
HOORAY! YOU FOUND ME! But then again, so did Mimi...
Suddenly, Mimi
turns into Merlee
Mimi Merlee:
NOW, YOU UGLY WITCH. FEEL THE FURY OF MY SWITCH!
Tippi walks in
and sees Wario and Waluigi cheering as two Merlees beat each other up
Wario Bros: CATFIGHT!
CATFIGHT!
Tippi: You both
are immature.
Waluigi halts
the fighting
Merlees: I'M
THE REAL MERLEE! PICK ME! PICK ME!
Waluigi: Which
one is real, Wario?
Wario: I have
no idea.
Waluigi: Then
it's time for...
Wario: NO! ANYTHING
BUT THAT!
Tippi: What?
Suddenly, The
Interned falls from the sky and the bathroom turns into a game show stage.
The Interned:
IT'S THE 65TH ANNUAL "THAT'S MY MERLEE" SHOW! ASK EACH ONE FIVE QUESTIONS,
AND FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE IS REAL!
Waluigi: This
is just a way for the author to show how much he can make Merlee rhyme.
The Interned:
... Yes... ASK YOUR FIRST QUESTION!
Waluigi: What's
your favorite color?
Merlee: My favorite
is as cozy as a bed. Like my heart, my color is red!
Merlee 2: My
favorite color is orange. It's so awesome, like a... AAH! WHAT RHYMES WITH
ORANGE!?
Merlee 2 runs
out of breath trying to randomly say things that rhyme with orange. She
suffocates and turns into Mimi in her much prettier form
The Interned:
AND I GUESS THE QUIZ IS OVER! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
The bathroom
returns to normal
Wario: WAIT!
YOU NEVER TOLD US WHICH ONE WAS REAL!
Waluigi and Tippi:
-_-
Merlee makes
a large warp gate and throws Mimi into it. She gets flung into another
dimension
Merlee: My work
here is done. I like sticky buns!
Tippi: That wasn't
coherent with what's going on...
Merlee: Just,
you fools take the Pure Heart, and respect my authority, I like go-karts!
Merlee gives
them the Pure Heart
YOU GOT A PURE
HEART!
Wario: Uh...
Yay?
Waluigi: Yeah...
Yay.
END OF CHAPTER!!!
Wario and Waluigi
stormed Merlee's Mansion and beat up the evil Mimi, who Waluigi even fell
in love with! Then, Mimi was sent to another dimension. But what of Peach,
Bowser, and King K. Rool (well, not really the first one)? When will The
Dryest Bones reappear? What was in the insane wardrobe? Why do enemies
think Waluigi is pretty? And who will... Oh wait, that's the end of the
insane rambling. Just scroll down, I guess.
Interlude: A,
B, K, D, E, F, G. Don't you know your alphabet?
Meanwhile, Peach
is STILL moaning
Peach: Moaaaan!
But that doesn't
matter. Inside Bleck's Inner Sanctum...
Nastasia: Yeah,
I just got a report from Mimi... and here's what it says. "I really screwed
up bad. AND A GUY THINKS I'M UGLY!" Yeah... that's it.
Count Bleck:
Count Bleck thought for sure...
Fawful: I HAVE
FURY!
Fawful runs away.
Count Bleck:
WHY DOES THE GUY WHO SCARES COUNT BLECK KEEP SCARING COUNT BLECK?!
Nastasia: No
idea. Apparently, he only appears to do that, as I can't find him unless
he appears like that.
Count Bleck:
That is strange... but no matter.
Suddenly, Dimentio
comes out of Count Bleck's party room.
Dimentio: I HAVE
TO USE THE BATHROOM! TOO MANY SMOOTHIES!
Count Bleck:
TOO BAD! Count Bleck will teleport you to a giant tree where the heroes
are going, so you can do your business in private there. But, NO SUPER
SMASH BROS. BRAWL UNTIL YOU BEAT THE HEROES!
Dimentio: FINE
THEN!
Count Bleck teleports
Dimentio away
Nastasia: Riiiight,
so I'm just going to hypnotize a few more people...
Nastasia leaves.
Meanwhile, two Goombas are jumping on top of King K. Rool like a trampoline,
when King K. Rool wakes up!
K. Rool: HEY!
GET OFFA ME!
The Goombas jump
off
Goomba 1: Woah,
sorry man. Thought you were dead. Your belly was a nice trampoline.
K. Rool: Bah,
it's all right. I probably would've done the same to you...
Goombas: 0.0
K. Rool: Where
am I?
Goomba 1: You've
gone to a bad place. MY NAME'S GARY!
K. Rool: WHAT?!
YOU MEAN I'M... DEAD?!
Gary: Nah, you're
just in Count Bleck's Castle. You're going to either turn into a mindless
zombie, die, or escape like that one skinny guy who gives us hope.
Goomba: All power
to the skinny guy...
K. Rool: I vote
for escape.
K. Rool tries
using his jetpack to fly away, but he hits his head on a ceiling
K. Rool: YEOW!
Gary: We tried
that.
K. Rool: WHY
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!
Goomba: We tried,
but you were too quick.
K. Rool: Forget
it, we'll take the hard way out.
K. Rool and the
Goombas walk ‘til they darn well can't walk no more. Actually, they just
make it to a dead end
K. Rool: I CAN
ESCAPE!
K. Rool tries
to blast a hole in the wall with his blunderbuss. However, it just ends
up bouncing off the wall and squishing the Goomba with no name
Gary: GOOMBA
NUMBER 12042! NOOOOOOOOOO!
K. Rool: Okay,
why are you the only one who has a name?
Gary: Bowser
says if we survive an attack on Mario, we get a name.
K. Rool: Reasonable.
Note to self: remember to blackmail Kremlings
Suddenly, Gary
gets hypnotized
K. Rool: HEY!
YOU GOT HIT BY RED STUFF JUST LIKE PEACH!
Nastasia, along
with Mark, Johnson, and several other minions, appears.
Nastasia: Yeah,
uh, you are going to be stripped of all free will, K?
K. Rool: YEAH
RIGHT! NEVAH!
King K. Rool
tries to blow a hole in the ground. He huffs and puffs, but he can't blow
the floor down
Nastasia: Are
you quite finished?
K. Rool: Pretty
much.
Nastasia adjusts
her glasses. Suddenly, there is a large flash of red flash, and some screaming,
and some cookies and marbles... Mmm... Cookies…
Chapter 3: Nerrs,
Giants, and the Color Red
Wario, Waluigi,
and Tippi walk out of the orange door
Waluigi: So,
what exactly do we do with the sparkly things?
Tippi: Just put
them in the Heart Pillars.
Welderburg comes
up Flipside Tower with a Heart Pillar
All Three: WHAAAAAAAA!
Welderburg: Here's
your pillar, yah.
Tippi: Uh, it's
kinda in the way of the other door...
Welderburg: What's
your point, yah?
Tippi: Could
you move it?
Welderburg: Sorry,
I no do the moving after the digging, yah.
Welderburg digs
into the ground to escape
Tippi: Great...
Now what do we do?
Wario throws
the Pure Heart into the pillar. He then hits the pillar so that it makes
an arch that he, Waluigi, and Tippi can travel through
Waluigi: Way
to use your thinker, Bro!
Wario: My wha?
Waluigi and Tippi:
Your brain.
Wario: What's
that?
Waluigi and Tippi:
-_-
Wario: Well,
let's-
Suddenly, a great
aroma fills the air
Wario: FOOOOOOOOOOODDD!
Wario runs to
Saffron's Kitchen
Tippi: Should
we follow him?
Waluigi: Just
wait. He'll be back...
A TV drops from
the sky in front of Waluigi and Tippi
Waluigi: ...
20 coins that the Bob-ombs beat the Chucks.
Tippi: YOU'RE
ON!
Meanwhile, inside
Saffron's Kitchen
Saffron: WE'RE
KINDA DOING SOMETHING!
Wario looks around
and sees a giant stadium full of food
Saffron: IRON-ISH
CHEF!
A Shy Guy in
a chef's hat and an Eeker with large robes are frantically making dishes.
Wario: Yum...
Wario eats all
of the food in three seconds.
Saffron: YOU
RUINED IRON-ISH CHEF: FLIPSIDE! DIE!
Saffron, the
Shy Chef, the Eeker Chef, and many other people chase after Wario. Wario
uses a random citizen to use as a slingshot to Flipside Tower. The mob
try to follow. However, like Wario, they don't know how to use an elevator.
Wario: Back.
Wario, Waluigi,
and Tippi enter the yellow door
Chapter 3-1:
The Nerd, the Cheapscape, and the Castle
Wario, Waluigi,
and Tippi make it to a world made of pixels
Wario Bros: WHAAAAAAAAA!
Tippi: What?
Waluigi: MY POLYGONS
ARE TOO ADVANCED FOR THIS WORLD!
Waluigi turns
into an 8-Bit person, then back to normal
Waluigi: SEE?!
Wario: I THINK
I SAW SOMETHING THAT ATE A COIN!
Tippi: I don't
know what you two would do without me...
Suddenly, Tippi
get hit in the back with a large, sticky tongue.
Tippi: ARG! WHAT
IS THIS?!
Suddenly, Tippi
gets drawn in toward Francis, who was hiding not very well behind a bush
Francis: NERR!
IT'S A SUPER-ULTRA-MEGA RARE PIXL BUTTERFLY WITH A BACKSTORY! SO HIGH-TECHNICAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
Waluigi: If you
were high-tech, wouldn't your polygons be too advanced for this world?
Francis: That's
why I modified the properties of the dimension!
Waluigi: So I
was freaking out for nothing?
Francis: Pretty
much.
Waluigi hits
himself on the head
Francis: So,
I'm going to leave now.
Voice: FRANCIS!
The Dryest Bones
appears
The Dryest Bones:
I GOT THAT LIMITED-EDITION X-NAUT NUMBER 36 ACTION FIGURE THAT YOU- WOAH!
IS THAT A SUPER-ULTRA-MEGA RARE PIXL BUTTERFLY WITH A BACKSTORY?!
Francis: Good
eye... OH MY DAD! STARSHIP X-NAUT WILL BE ON IN, LIKE, THREE MINUTES!
The Dryest Bones:
WE GOTTA RUN!
Francis and The
Dryest Bones run away at super speed
Wario: Nerds.
Waluigi: Totally...
Five seconds
later, Wario and Waluigi are going insane, hitting their heads on mountains
Wario: WE'RE
DOOMED IN THIS WORLD! WE LOST THE VOICE OF REASON!
Waluigi: -_-
Suddenly, a sun-shaped
Pixl named Barry comes out from behind a bush
Barry: Uh...
You idiots need some help?
Waluigi: Yes.
He lost all reason since Francis stole our butterfly.
Barry: Well then,
first you-
Wario: COME WITH
US, OR I EAT YOU, OR SOME RANDOM LOON COMES AND KILLS YOU OR SOMETHING!
Barry: EEP!
Barry has joined
the party! Because no one else would!
Barry: All right,
let's go.
Wario and Waluigi
stomp Koopa Troopas until they find a secret ladder
Waluigi: Well,
let's go up it.
Wario: I can't
climb it.
Waluigi: WHAT
DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
Wario tries to
climb it, and it breaks
Waluigi: Well,
I guess we'll never see what was up there.
Carefully avoiding
several bottomless pits, Wario and Waluigi beat up Magikoopas by flinging
Barry into their face. They continue until...
Waluigi: This
is where the sidewalk ends...
There is a giant
cliff next to where Waluigi is standing. There's a dog trapped inside the
ground, as well as a giant monkey throwing bombs off a cliff.
Wario: We were
on a sidewalk?
Waluigi: Apparently.
Suddenly, Mega
Koopa appears behind them.
Mega Koopa: YOU
SKIPPED MY AREA! DIE!
Mega Koopa tries
to... er... waddle on the Wario Bros.
Waluigi: -_-
Wario tosses
Waluigi into Mega Koopa's mouth. Five seconds later, Mega Koopa is dead.
Waluigi jumps out.
Waluigi: Well,
the heart is gone.
Wario and Waluigi
take off the shell and sell it as real estate. A Magikoopa buys it, and
settles in. Five days later, the wind blows the Mega Shell off a cliff.
But that's not important. Wario and Waluigi are just randomly wandering
around.
Waluigi: Where
do we go?
Suddenly, a sign
drops that says "Go between the two red pipes" backwards. Waluigi
reads this before Wario decides to eat the sign
Wario: Tasty...
Waluigi: It was
a sign.
Wario: YEOW!
Wario sticks
out his tongue, and there are several splinters
Wario: GET THEM
OFF, GET THEM OFF!
Waluigi hits
Wario in the gut, causing all of the splinters to fall out
Wario: WALUIGI!
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!
Waluigi and Barry:
-_-
The Wario Bros.
and Barry jump down between the two red pipes. They find Level 1-2 from
Super Mario Bros
Wario: HAHA!
SUPER WARIO BROS!
Wario fails miserably
at trying to get past a Gloomba, much less make it past the level. Waluigi
and Barry, however, easily complete the level, effortlessly, in fact.
Wario: GET BACK
HERE!
Wario loses another
life from getting hit by a Gloomba
Gloomba: YES!
I MUST BE GETTING A LOT MORE POPULAR!
Due to Wario
having a lack of popularity in the first place, Gloomba gets even less
popular
Gloomba: WHAT?!
Just as Wario
is about to jump on the Gloomba, it cries and runs away, carrying him through
the entire level
Wario: HA! WARIO
DID THAT BETTER THAN EITHER OF YOU!
Barry: I floated
over everything...
Waluigi: And
I rode on him.
Wario: I RODE
A GLOOMBA!
Waluigi: It took
you 67 tries to get it right.
Wario: SHUT UP!
Wario punches
Waluigi up a pipe. Wario slowly follows, while Barry just stays there
Barry: DITCH!
Barry runs away
from the insanity, but gets eaten by a Piranha Plant. Meanwhile, outside...
Waluigi: The
longer we're on this quest, the more I hate you.
Wario and Waluigi
keep throwing shells that are hit to them by Koopa Strikers at the randomly
assorted Koopas on top of castles. Eventually, the Wario Bros. make it
to a large castle with a big Red X on it.
Wario: What should
I do?
Barry's ghost
appears.
Barry's Ghost:
Blow it up with a bomb. Then, when you see the giant sea monster, flame
its red tentacle. AND RIDE THE RED WIND!
Barry's Ghost
gets blown away, and then gets Portraificationized. Suddenly, Bomberman
appears and sets down a bomb.
Bomberman: I
get one appearance every chapter, so I'm making the best of it!
Bomberman jumps
away as the bomb explodes. Suddenly, all of the castles explode. Bowser
rises out of the rubble.
Bowser: UGH!
NOT COOL! MARIO BLEW UP MY CASTLE... AGAIN!
Bowser sees Wario
and Waluigi.
Bowser: YOU GUYS!
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU AGAIN! So anyway, did you guys see where that
**** Mario went?
Wario: Uh...
Our way?
Meanwhile...
Luigi: All right,
I'm bored of waiting for Bowser to come out of there!
Mario: You get
Mushrooms and Space Wars: Attack of the X-Nauts, and I'll stand guard.
Luigi: All right.
Back with the
Wario Bros…
Bowser: I'll
join you in whatever random quest you need.
Bowser joined
the group! He's probably the only one from the real game you'll see!
Wario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Waluigi: That's
a good thing, though.
Wario: Actually,
the script told me to say "Yes", but I wanted to give it a little twist...
Bowser: YOU TWO
ARE IDIOTS!
Bowser tries
to scorch the Wario Bros. Out of fear, the two run into the Star Block
and complete the level
Chapter 3-2:
Tides of Rage...and Filth
Wario, Waluigi,
and Bowser are all in a large ocean
Bowser: GAAH!
I CAN'T SWIM!
Waluigi: Now
you tell us...
Wario: GAAAH!
I CAN'T SWIM EITHER!
Waluigi: -_-
One trip to the
coastguard later...
Waluigi: All
right, boys?
Bowser (in an
inner-tube): So... embarrassing. I think I can swim now.
Bowser pops his
inner-tube and starts swimming with Waluigi
Wario (wearing
water wings): MY FLOATIES ARE COOL!
Wario just floats
in place, doing nothing
Waluigi: Well
Bowser, let's go!
Waluigi and Bowser
swim past Bloopers, Cheep Cheeps, and random pieces of garbage, until...
Waluigi: The
trail of nerd junk gets thicker here...
Bowser: Wait,
how can we breathe underwater?
Suddenly, Bowser
and Waluigi have to take a breath. They both swim to the surface
Waluigi: NEVER
use logic EVER again!
Bowser: Is it
okay if I use my imagination?
Waluigi: That
depends.
Bowser: I KNEW
YOU WOULD SAY THAT! YOU'LL END UP AS ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS WITH A LARGE BEARD
AND THE CRAZY, SPIRILING GLASSES THAT PEOPLE TAKE ONE LOOK AT AND SAY,
"EITHER THAT GUY IS A GENIUS, OR WAS SELF-CENTERED THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE,
LOST HIS JOB, FAMILY, SOCIAL LIFE, AND COMPUTER! BY THE WAY HE'S HUGGING
HIMSELF, I'D SAY THE LATTER." THEN, YOU'LL GO HOME TO OVER THIRTY CATS
WAITING FOR YOU TO FEED THEM ROTTEN EGGPLANT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN THE ROAD
TO RUIN!
Waluigi: You
sound like my mom, and 0.0
Air tanks conveniently
fall from the sky to Bowser and Waluigi
Bowser: We can
dive now.
Bowser and Waluigi
dive into the water. The find a door, but discover that it's guarded by
a wall, and neither of them can flip into 3D.
Waluigi: Crud,
we need Wario for this part.
Suddenly, The
Dryest Bones appears inside a plastic Ziploc bag.
The Dryest Bones:
FLIP-POW!
The Dryest Bones
flips so that Bowser and Waluigi can get through. He then destroys the
wall with a boomerang
The Dryest Bones:
BYE!
The Dryest Bones
attempts to float away, but can't swim in a plastic bag, so he sinks.
The Dryest Bones:
Crud. Hey, neat! My name was used five times in a row!
Waluigi and Bowser
make it to a room. Suddenly, they are locked inside a room filled with
fish.
Bitticuda: Can
I eat you?
Waluigi: No.
Bitticuda: You?
Bowser: Can I
eat you?
Bitticuda: SURE!
Bowser eats Bitticuda
easily. All of the other fish run away in fear
Waluigi: Wow,
that's actually a bit more sensible that Wario.
Bowser: SHUT
UP AND OPEN THE BIG CHEST IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM!
Waluigi opens
the chest, and a Pixl who looks like a weight and is named Thudley comes
out of the chest
Thudley: HOW
FAT ARE YOU?! LET ME SEE HOW GIRTHY YOU ARE!
Bowser: I find
that highly offensive.
Waluigi: What
can you do?
Thudley: Allow
you to ground pound.
Bowser sets Thudley
on fire, then eats him
Bowser: Needs
Cajun spice.
Bowser tosses
sand into his mouth
Bowser: Much
better.
Waluigi: Well,
it's better than Wario.
Meanwhile, Wario
is trying to eat a cloud, but can't because he doesn't know how to move
in the water. Back with Waluigi and Bowser...
Waluigi: Wait,
HOW do we get through the level?
Bowser: There's
probably a...
Waluigi: Oh no.
Bloo (still on
fire): SECRET DOOR!
Bloo enters the
Tile Pool. Due to his heat, this causes most of it to dry up, except the
area near Wario and a far-off pool near the end. Bowser and Waluigi easily
walk to that pool, which is filled with Bitticudas.
Bitticudas: YOU
DIDN'T LET OUR BROTHER EAT YOU! DIE!
The Bitticudas
try to eat Waluigi and Bowser. However, a giant tentacle appears and sucks
in the Bitticudas. A giant Blooper then appears.
Big Blooper:
BLOOOOPERRRRRRRRRRRR!
Big Blooper tries
to eat Bowser, but Bowser just toasts his red tentacle
Big Blooper:
NO! DON'T HIT THAT!
Bowser: What
will you give me if I don't?
Big Blooper:
I'll give you the treasure of the ancient sea!
Waluigi: How
big is it?
Big Blooper:
The size of Rogueport.
Waluigi: 0.0
Bowser: SOLD!
NOW GIVE ME MY MONEY!
Suddenly, Wario
comes rocketing into the Big Blooper. He shoots the Blooper into a dry
area, where it dies of heat. Thousands of Goombas devour the calamari.
Then, Wario hits the Star Block.
Waluigi: What
happened?
Wario: I dunno.
Flashback
Wario: WHY
CAN'T I EAT THE CLOUDS?!
Lakitu: STOP
TRYING TO EAT ME!
Lakitu throws
a Spiny at Wario. It causes his water wings to burst and Wario to rocket
off.
End Flashback
Wario: I think
a fish was involved.
Waluigi and Bowser:
-_-
Chapter 3-3:
Trees and Un-Gentlemen
The Wario Bros.
and Bowser make it to a giant tree
Bowser: Hm...So
this is the great Dotwood tree, an ancient tree over 1,000 years old made
by early game developers as a site for dumping scrapped games from the
8-Bit era. Let all who gaze upon it be filled with awe and the joy that
they don't have to live within the confines of the tree...
Waluigi: Wow...
How do you know so much about trees?
Bowser: Wha?
I was just reading this plaque over here.
Waluigi: -_-
Wario is trying
to climb the tree like Flipside Tower. However, evil 8-Bit wasps keep stinging
him and making him fall
Wario: I'LL GET
UP HERE, DEAD OR ALIVE!
Bowser: Ten bucks
he gets up there alive.
Waluigi: YOU'RE
ON!
Wario attempts
to keep climbing up the tree, and continues to fail miserably.
Waluigi: Ten
more bucks says he doesn't get up there at all.
Bowser: I'll
take that wager.
Wario finally
makes it up, after hours of trying
Waluigi: DARN
IT! There goes twenty bucks...
Bowser: Wonder
what it's like up there...
Wario is drowning
in a sea of 8-Bit E.T.'s.
Wario: AAH! THEY'RE
SO AWFUL!
8-Bit E.T.: We're
just the leftovers from the Atari crash.
Wario: Well,
you ARE awful.
Wario throws
the 8-Bit E.T.'s out of the tree. They all go to the remains of the Tile
Pool, where they torture Goombas for hours. Meanwhile, Dimentio comes out
of a nearby bathroom
Dimentio: THANK
GOODNESS! IT TOOK ME HOURS TO FIND A BATHROOM IN THIS TREE! I WAS LIKE
A CLOGGED-UP GARDEN HOSE!
Wario: NOT ANOTHER
ONE!
Wario sprays
Dimentio with a spray.
Dimentio: What
was that?
Wario: Scent
of Anti-Fawful.
Dimentio sprays
himself with his own spray.
Dimentio: I prefer
Dimented, by Dimentio!
Wario: IT SMELLS
LIKE CHEESE AND TOENAILS!
Dimentio: Really?
I think it smells like monkey and roses. But no matter, for I shall transport
us to Dimension D, where we are both 256 times more powerful! So everything
will hurt a little bit worse.
Dimentio teleports
Wario and himself to a large box with a green background
Wario: Why is
it green?
Dimentio: DON'T
GO RIPPIN’ ON ME SECRET VEGETABLE STASH!
Wario: Is there
garlic and corn?
Dimentio: Garlic
is a spice, and corn is a starch.
Wario: DIE!
Wario charges
at Dimentio. However, all he does is run into a wall. And it hurts a lot
worse when the wall is 256 times as powerful
Wario: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Of course, Wario's
yell- and stench for that matter- is also 256 times stronger.
Dimentio: SHUT
UP!
Wario shuts up.
Dimentio: I cannot
fight you here, as you will kill four of my senses in one second, leaving
me with eagle sight but deaf, frozen, tasteless, and a clogged nose! I
will not be Hellen Keller!
Dimentio warps
to the regular Dotwood tree with Wario.
Dimentio: Finish
this... WITH MAGIC!
Dimentio tries
to attack Wario with a giant lightning bolt. However, Wario picks up a
nearby branch and bashes the lightning in half. Then, he keeps thrashing
Dimentio until...
Dimentio: STOP!
THE BRUISES, THEY STING LIKE THE THOUSANDS OF HORNETS THAT RAVAGED YOUR
FACE!
Wario: So, we're
done?
Dimentio: Yeah...
Dimentio warps
away. Waluigi and Bowser then walk up to Wario
Wario: DIDJA
SEE ME?! DIDJA SEE ME?!
Waluigi: All
we saw was idiocy.
Bowser: You know
that there was an ele-
Wario: SHUT UP!
Wario continues
climbing.
Bowser: -vator.
Waluigi: He on't
listen to reason.
Bowser: I pitty
that foo.
Mr. T: HEY! DON'T
STEAL MR T'S LINES, FOO!
Mr. T leaves
Bowser: He scares
me.
Waluigi: He scares
us all...
Waluigi and Bowser
take a second elevator just as Wario climbs to the top of the tree
Wario: Seriously,
are you guys magic or something?
Bowser: Just
shut up!
Bowser throws
Wario high into the air. Wario crashes down on a wisp of red wind, which
he rides.
Wario: LOOKATME!
Waluigi: Lucky
idiot.
Bowser: Couldn't
agree more.
Bowser and Waluigi
ride their own wisps of wind to Wario. Bowser then stuffs him down a warp
pipe and he and Waluigi follow. Suddenly, Dimentio appears at the top of
the tree.
Dimentio: The
fat one's stench is strong, and the turtle is just plain powerful. The
stick man is completely useless, though, and Count Bleck doesn't have a
nose. I fear their power might not be enough...
Crazee Dayzee:
Hey! I heard that! Keep it down!
Dimentio fries
the Dayzee
Dimentio: Ciao!
Dimentio teleports
away. Meanwhile, Wario, Waluigi, and Bowser are fighting over who gets
to hit the Star Block
Waluigi: ME!
Wario: NO, ME!
Bowser: SHUT
UP! I SHOULD HIT IT!
Waluigi: NO,
I...
While Wario and
Bowser fight, Waluigi creeps over to the Star Block and hits it
Bowser: What
the?
Wario: YOU'RE
GOING TO DIE, BRO!
Waluigi: Aw crud...
Chapter 3-4:
The Fantabulously Frantic, Freeky, and Fun Fort of Francis!
Wario: AAH! ALLITERATION
HURTS MY BRAIN!
Bowser: So this
is Fort Chump... What has it got over my pad?
Fort Francis
is actually a giant castle with magnificent walls.
Bowser: MY DOORS
CAN BREATHE FIRE!
Francis's door
shoots a laser at Bowser
Bowser: All right,
maybe it is better.
Waluigi: So...
how do we get in?
Wario: Find the
key!
Francis-Resembling
Gargoyles: Find the key, find the key, oh how happy you'll be!
The gargoyles
try to swoop down and strike Wario, but they can't fly and shatter on a
warp pipe. Suddenly, a Meowbot comes out with a wind-up key.
Meowbot: MEOW!
Is master ready for cuddling?
Wario takes the
key out of the robot and uses it on the door. Somehow, it works.
Meowbot: Have
a cuddly day, Master!
The Meowbot shuts
down
Bowser: THIS
GUY HAS EVERYTHING!
The semi-heroes
walk inside and find a fabulously furnished hall.
Bowser: 0.0
Bowser goes into
the fetal position.
Bowser: Castle...too...good.
Must... use... bathroom... but... can't... find. My... castle... worthless...
1001010101010101... MOMMY, WHY WON'T YOU HOLD ME?!
Waluigi: Issues?
Bowser: A lot
of them.
Leaving Wario
behind to stare at the shiny floor, Waluigi and Bowser go into the next
room. There, they see a giant door.
Bowser: PFFT!
What kind of villain is this? Leaving his inner sanctum in the main hallway?
IDIOT!
Waluigi: It's
locked. And there are two keys.
Bowser: ... Slightly
smarter.
Suddenly, the
door grows eyes, a mouth, and two cat-like ears.
Door: INTRUDERS!
YOU GET KITTY LASERS!
Chickens shoot
out of the door's eyes.
Waluigi: What?
Door: Sorry,
Master just got Chicken Shoot for the Wii. It was so horrible he stuffed
it inside me. Now then, let me correct myself...
The door shoots
a laser that blows a hole in the ground. Scared for their lives, Waluigi
and Bowser run. Wario enters the room
Wario: What's
with all the hubbub?
Door: Hang on...ACTIVATE
SECURITY SCAN!
The door scans
Wario.
Door: YOU COULD
BE THE DRYEST BONES! Answer the following 536 questions correctly to grant
access to master's room. Would you rather kill your interviewee and take
their money than interview them properly?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Would you
rather make a Fun Fiction make no sense at all than spend hours trying
to come up with a deep and thoughtful storyline?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Do you
consider Wario and Waluigi's Extremely Twisted Saga to be awful in many
ways?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Do you
include this story in your Bottom 10 To-Read Fun Fics?
Wario: Yes.
The questions
stretch on as Waluigi and Bowser get to a large Meowbot.
Large Meowbot:
SURPRISEMEOW SAYS, SUPRISE!
SurpriseMeow
spits many Meowbombs at Waluigi and Bowser. Bowser is able to torch some,
but they all blow up on Waluigi
Waluigi: HURTING,
NOT HELPING!
Bowser: Sorry
there.
Suddenly, Terry
the Talking Tomato appears and stuffs himself inside SurpriseMeow's cannon
Waluigi: A tomato?
Terry: The Dryest
Bones needs me for government funding.
Waluigi: We shall
not forget you...
Waluigi and Bowser
run into the next room as Terry explodes, leaving a large, ketchup-based
mess. Wario continues to answer questions
Door: Have you
ever had a girlfriend that you didn't kidnap?
Wario: No.
Door: Do you
regard Starship X-Naut, Episode 47 one of the best programs ever made?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Is one
of your hobbies collecting Yo-yos?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Do you
hate these questions?
Wario: Yes.
Waluigi and Bowser
destroy all meow-related things in the next hallway. They see two doors
held up by tiny hooks
Waluigi: Throw
me at them.
Bowser throws
Waluigi at the door. However, Bowser has terrible aim, so he really just
gets Waluigi stuck in the ceiling fan.
Waluigi: BOWSER
YOU- OW- NINCOM- OW- KOOP!
Bowser: WELL,
SOOOOORRRRY! Maybe I just WON'T be helpful!
Bowser starts
stomping his foot. The strength is enough to knock the doors from the ceiling
Bowser: GREAT!
IT WORKED!
The Dryest Bones
walks in
The Dryest Bones:
WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!
Bowser: Who dares
question my... daringness... to... dare, JERK!
The Dryest Bones:
It is I. I who killed the interviewees. I who freed the slaves! I who has
been sued on a constant basis ever since I registered in Lemmy's Land!
Bowser: Good
job, son...
The Dryest Bones:
SHUT UP AND FIGHT!
Bowser knocks
The Dryest Bones into many pieces.
The Dryest Bones:
I swear, as soon as I find all of my parts, and put myself back together,
and figure out how you did that, and remember that you did that to me,
I SHALL DESTROY YOU!
The Dryest Bones's
head hops away to try to get his other body parts. Meanwhile, Waluigi has
finally fallen out of the ceiling fan.
Waluigi: I hate
this place.
Waluigi and Bowser
progress normally until they reach a SecuriMeow.
SecuriMeow: NERD
PASSWORD IDENTIFICATION! PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS!
Bowser jumps
on SecuriMeow twice. It malfunctions
SecuriMeow: Welcome
home, Master! SecuriMeow missed you!
A giant kitty
appears in the background. Bowser hides behind Waluigi until it disappears.
Suddenly, an elevator falls from the sky
Bowser: Let's
go up.
The two go up
and find the most electronically tricked-out room evah! And also a key
to the MeowDoor!
Waluigi: Good,
we're halfway there...
Bowser: Want
to forget the quest and play Mario Strikers: Charged?
Waluigi: YOU'RE
ON!
Waluigi and Bowser
play Mario Strikers as Wario answers more questions
Door: Would you
rather hurt your friends than lose a coin?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Would you
rather have kitten guards or butterflies?
Wario: Butterflies.
Door: I hate
you, Dryest Bones.
Wario: Live with
it.
Door: Do you
have fungi growing in your boots?
Wario: Yes.
After many more
hours of playing games, Waluigi and Bowser go to the hallway of the second
key. However...
Waluigi: THERE'S
A GIANT SPIKED FLOOR IN THE WAY!
Bowser: How can
we get across?
Suddenly, Carrie
appears.
Carrie: I CAN
TURN INTO A PLATFORM AND CARRY YOU ACROSS SPIKES!
Bowser: We hate
Pixls.
Bowser throws
Carrie onto the spikes, killing her.
Waluigi: Methinks
I got an idea...
Waluigi takes
off Bowser's shell.
Bowser: AAAAAH!
I'M NAKED!
Waluigi starts
spinning it across the spikes. Waluigi and Bowser both grab on and make
it across. Bowser's shell breaks.
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Bowser runs into
the door. Waluigi follows, and it shows that Bowser already blew up a SecuriMeow
and went into the next room. Waluigi walks in, and sees Bowser on a computer.
Bowser: All right...
www.shellbay.com... Yeah, Royal Koopa issue... Bowser size... semi-gloss...
power spikes... yeah, that one.
Bowser presses
a button, and a Koopa deliveryman is there with a new shell.
Deliveryman:
That'll be 11 coins.
Bowser: How about
I let you live?
Deliveryman:
That works, too.
The deliveryman
runs away, knocking down a chest from a higher shelf
Waluigi: What's
this? What's this?
Waluigi opens
the chest and finds another key!
Waluigi: HAPPIES!
Bowser: How do
we get across the spiked floor, though?
Waluigi: Hm...
Bowser and Waluigi
tie several comic books together to make stilts. However...
Waluigi: WE CAN'T
FIT THROUGH THE DOOR!
Bowser burns
the comics so that they can fit through the door. However...
Waluigi: NOW
WE CAN'T GET PAST THE SPIKES!
They make new
stilts. However, they can't fit through the door. This process continues
until Francis has no more comic books left
Waluigi: NOW
I'm out of ideas.
Bowser breaks
a hole in the floor out of anger. The two land next to Wario.
Door: Do you
want to destroy me now?
Wario: Yes.
Door: Please
enter keys.
Waluigi and Bowser
insert the keys.
Door: Welcome
idiot, I mean The Dryest Bones!
Waluigi, Wario,
and Bowser walk into Francis's room. He is taking pictures of Tippi, who
is in a cage.
Francis: SCHWEET!
I JUST GOT ELITE NERR STATUS ON DIGIBUTTER.NERR! LET ALL MORTALS TREMBLE
BEFORE MY MIGHT!
Francis holds
up a plastic sword. Lightning strikes behind him, as waves crash up beneath
him and Japanese letters appear all around him. Wario, Waluigi, and Bowser
all do the anime sweatdrop thing
Francis: WHAAA!
HOW'D YOU GET INTO MY CHOCOLATE FACTORY?! I MEAN SECRET LAIR?!
Wario: THE ROOM
IS MADE OF CHOCOLATE?!
Francis: NO!
I DIDN'T SAY-
Wario has already
eaten the door
Wario: Tastes
lightningy. I WANT MORE!
Francis: YOU
WON'T GET MORE!
Bowser: THEN
WE'LL KILL YOU!
Francis: Wait...
Before you do that, can we play Mario Party? I have no real-life friends.
Waluigi: Uh...
I guess so.
Francis boots
up Mario Party Nerr, his own creation. Each person picks his own character.
The map is "Francis's Frantic Firewalls".
Francis: HA!
I CAN'T LOSE IN MY OWN HARDDRIVE!
20 turns later...
Meowmaid: THE
RESULTS ARE IN!
1st: Bowser:
20 Stars, 286 coins
2nd: Waluigi:
4 Stars, 21 coins
3rd: Wario: 0
Stars, 999 coins
4th: Francis:
0 Stars, 238 coins
Francis: NO!
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I CAN'T LOSE! YOU ALL DIE!
Francis dives
at Bowser, but Bowser just sets him ablaze.
Francis: I HATE
YOU ALL!
Bowser: Now you
know how I feel...
Francis: YOU
WON'T TAKE MY FRANCINE AWAY! SUPER NERR, HIGH-TECHNICAL TRANSFORMATION!
All of the mechanical
gadgets in the room suddenly latch onto Francis. The group get launched
out of the fort and near the Dotwood Tree. Suddenly, a giant robot of Francis
lands in front of them.
Robo-Francis:
PREPARE FOR A TOTALLY HIGH-TECHNICAAAAAL DEFEAT!
Bowser: WE CAN
TAKE YOU! RIGHT GUYS?
Wario and Waluigi
have run away, leaving cardboard cutouts of themselves
Bowser: Your
silence scares me...
Robo-Francis
squishes Bowser. Meanwhile, Waluigi and Wario are hiding behind a rock.
Wario: How DARE
you get the first billing?!
Waluigi: That
doesn't matter now! We have to do something!
Wario and Waluigi
try to punch the Robo-Francis until it falls apart, but fail miserably.
Robo-Francis:
PREPARE FOR ASSIMILATION!
Suddenly, The
Dryest Bones walks up
The Dryest Bones:
HEY FRANCIS! WANNA MAKE SHRINKY-DINKS?!
Robo-Francis
bends over. However, when it bends, it trips over Bowser's shell. It then
falls and pierces its chest on the Dotwood Tree.
Robo-Francis:
HEY! WHO PUT THAT IN THERE?! IT HURTS... A LOT!
Robo-Francis
explodes. Francis lands between Wario, Waluigi, and Bowser
The Dryest Bones:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The party plays
"Whack-a-Nerd" until Francis is knocked out. Suddenly, the Pure Heart falls
out of his pocket.
Bowser: HEY!
IT'S A PRECIOUS HEART THING!
Wario: It is.
Waluigi: Well?
Aren't you going to grab it?
Wario: It hurts
my eyes when I grab it.
Waluigi grabs
it, and his eyes burn.
Waluigi: GAAAAAAAH!
YOU GOT A PURE
HEART!
Wario: All right,
we're done here!
Wario, Waluigi,
and Bowser teleport out of The Bitlands.
Narrator: And
so, Wario got another Pure Heart, recruited Bowser, and, by dumb luck,
defeated an ultra nerd's giant robot. But what lurks ahead in the next
zone? What happened to King K. Rool? Will Peach ever be noticed? Why does
wind knock over the Mega Shell? Why does Saffron have a TV show? What is
Dimentio's plan? Why can Wario affect Dimentio's sense of touch? How can
Big Blooper be knocked out by Wario? How did The Dryest Bones get out of
the plastic bag? Why am I asking all these stupid and pointless questions!
Find out maybe next time!
Wario: I can't
help feeling we forgot something...
Waluigi: Something
important...
Bowser: Something
I don't know about...
Meanwhile, in
Fort Francis...
Tippi: HEY! YOU
IDIOTS FORGOT ME!
To Be Continued...
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