The Koop Crusaders

By John

Back at Castle Koopa, Lemmy, Iggy, Larry, Wendy, and Ludwig were celebrating their recent victories over the Axem Rangers. "I bet they'll never come back here again!" said Lemmy.

"Not on their lives!" added Wendy

Ludwig munched on a Butterfinger bar and said nothing.

"I still think we ought to keep our guard up," cautioned Larry.

"Mmmf grmmph hmmf!" munched Ludwig.

"Huh?" asked Larry

Ludwig swallowed his chocolate. "Get over it, they're never returning!" he yelled.

Morton ran past them all, screaming. Roy followed angrily about 2 seconds later. Iggy finally spoke up. "I stole some of Green's magic spells, and they could help us protect the castle. If they come back, they won't be able to get us, anyway."

Morton and Roy ran back the other way. Morton was still screaming. "Exactly why ARE those two running around?" asked Lemmy.

"Who knows?" mused Wendy.
"Who cares?" added Ludwig.
"Who wants to see me FLEX?" asked Iggy.

"Shaddup, Iggy!" snapped Wendy.

Morton ran through again. "HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLP!!!" screamed Morton.

Lemmy whipped out his freeze gun and froze Roy when he ran by. Iggy kicked the iced Roy down the hall. "You're safe now, Morton," said Iggy. "Say, you're pretty fast. How'd ya like to cover for me on the Koopa Omega Force while I'm on vacation?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" shouted Wendy and Ludwig.

"YES!!!" shouted Lemmy and Morton.

"Okay, then take my power belt. It will give you magic abilities of your own," instructed Iggy.

"YAY!!! shouted Morton.  "This is a great day for me, because Roy was about to pound me for no good reason and Lemmy saved me, and now I am being recognized for my speed instead of being told to shut up, and I get to be on your Omega Force. I must go tell King Dad right away so he can..."

Wendy fainted. "Shut up!" yelled Ludwig.

"OK," said Morton.

Iggy ran to his room and warped himself away for a week long vacation.

"OK," said Lemmy. "Just yell 'Koopa Omega Force' to call your parts out of space to get ready for battle. For now, just relax, and don't talk too much." Morton remained silent. "Good."

3 Days Later

Morton awakened to find the castle empty except for Clawdia, Roy, Bowser, and their underlings. "Hey, what's going on here?" asked Morton.

"I think Iggy's still on vacation, and that note on your bed might explain the others," said Bowser

"Oh great. My other siblings are gone, except Roy, but I don't like Roy because he's a big mean bully who beats me up for no reason, and once made me eat fish, and I hate fish because they're disgusting, and I must find my brothers and sister right now!"

I'm going too!" demanded Roy.

"Forget it!"

"The KOF needs me just as much as you!"

"Oh all right, but don't get on my nerves, or I will make you eat Larry's vegetables!"

"Yeesh! DEAL! Now let's go!"

"WAIT! The note! And we have no clue where they are."

"It's from those dumb Axems, and they took them to Smithy's Factory. I can warp us there in no time using this warp generator that Ludwig invented."

"Hold it! How do you know of...  us? And what are YOU doing with Ludwig's device?"

Roy just grinned and ran off.

"Hey! Get back here! Come HERE! ROY!!!"

Morton and Roy arrived at the Factory, but there was no sign of the Axems other than a buch of Machine Mades. "Koopa Omega Force!" yelled Roy. Morton was already suited up. Morton pulled a metallic hammer out of space and flattened all the Machine Mades. Roy then stopped him from charging ahead. "Hold it! We might need a third fighter," stated Roy.

"Yeah, but WHO? Iggy's on vacation, and the rest of the team is in chains somewhere in this awful factory!" Morton declared. "Hence the reason we're even here."

Hot Foot ran up, panting. "I can... help," he panted.

"How?" asked Roy

"Yeah, how? You are noble for assisting us, but you aren't very large, you are Hot Foot, and therefore are very small, and almost useless."

"I can burn foes, and follow them down dark corridors, lighting the way. That way, you can follow me to their hideout."

"OK, you're in," said Morton.

The three continued towards the Axems' lair, but ran into Bowyer on the way. "Nya, nya! Dreaming I must be! Koopas you are! SNUFF ya I will! NYA!!!!"

Roy stomped the ground and shook the place enough to throw off Bowyer's accuracy and break his control targets.

"Gunya nya NYA!!!!!  Damaging you are. Well, G'Night!"

Bowyer shot a sleep arrow at Roy, but it landed on the ground. Morton conjured up a metallic tennis ball and tossed it at Bowyer. Just before it hit, the ball opened up and blasted fire all over Bowyer. Roy then called up a cloud that rained acid all over Bowyer. Hot Foot melted all his arrows and his targets, then toasted the dissolving arrow-slinger.


Bowyer began exploding and left behind 157 Coins. Morton split them evenly between himself and Roy, and gave the odd one to Hot Foot.

"Hey, only one Coin?! What a rip!"

"Fire you are. Melt too many you will!" mocked Roy.

The trio continued on to find the Axems. Roy swatted flies, Morton talked to Hot Foot about fish, and Hot Foot listened willingly. The three also beat up any Lil' Boos and Glum Reapers they saw. Roy gladly grabbed
one Glum Reaper, and tied it to a Greaper, then stretched them until they snapped back into each other. Hot Foot burned Puppox to a pile of ashes, and Morton squashed little Hippopo under his larger companion.

Soon, they reached the Clock. "Well, well. it looks like it's time to...  PLAY!!!" shouted Count Down.

"RING!" said the Ding-A-Lings.

Count Down dropped a crystal on Roy and an ice rock on Hot Foot. The Ding-A-Lings used the S'crow Bell and Spore Chimes on Morton. The crystal didn't even make Roy flinch, and Hot Foot melted the Ice Rock.
As a Scarecrow, Morton was still able to use his new Melodius Maximus musical magic attack to break both bells.

"DING.....  DING?????  Ding...  Dong???" rang the Ding-A-Lings.  "We quit!"

The bells took off, and broke Count Down. Roy then held up Hot Foot and charged some of his magic into him. Hot Foot released a fire blast that melted all of Count Down to a puddle. Morton took the coins which
were dropped by the Ding-A-Lings when they left.  He also gave Fear Roulette to Hot Foot, Aurora Flash to Roy, and Corona to himself. "Now we must find and beat the evil outta those puny punk arrogant Axem
Rangers and make them give back our siblings. Except that they're not Hot Foot's siblings, because Hot Foot is an only child, but he has a girlfirend, which I don't, and that is probably because I'm short or
ugly or not interesting. I'm too upset to continue."

"Whoa, moody aren't we?" Roy quipped.

"Cool out, Morton!" mused Hot Foot.

"We must continue onward, forward, and ahead, right now, this minute, and immediately. Come on."

Roy tried to comfort Morton along the way, but Morton didn't cheer up until they reached Cloaker, Domino Mad Adder, and Earth Link. "NO, No, no, no, NO!!!  Koopa Kids. They play too rough!!!! I'm heading back to the snake!" wailed Cloake.

"Ditto" agreed Domino.

Back on Snakey, they formed the Mad Link. Using a Carni-Kiss, they drained half of Roy's energy, but he was revived by Hot Foot's HP Heat Up. Morton used another fireball to blast Domino to the ground. Roy took
off his spiked bracelet, and threw it at Mad Link. The snake didn't expect an electric current to be surging through it, and as a result, the opposing charges blew the bracelet back onto Roy's wrist, and Mad Link into a lava pit behind them. But Yaridovich was behind the snake, and got burned as well.  Hot Foot torched Cloaker's clothes with a Fire Blast, and he ran past them all to the nearest body of water.

"HEY, who dumped me in this lava?!" shouted Yaridovich.

Roy used another cloud to shock Yarid to death, and they all kept going. After some time, they came to a door marked "The BOSS!!! It better be good! Wipe feet and abandon hope before entering!"

Hot Foot rambled on. "Well, I can't tell who might be here, inside, on the other end of this door, beyond this point, awaiting, up ahead, straight ahead, right ahead, dead ahead... Why right ahead, when right is to the right, and ahead is straight ahead, and why dead ahead when it may be a lifeless object that can't be alive or dead? And furthermore..."

"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE..." yelled Morton.

"Language, Morton. This IS a Fun Fiction in Lemmy's Land and there may be children, kids, young ones, easily offended adults, or other people reading that would hate to hear or see you cussing," advised Roy.


"Ya got that much right!"

"QUIET, HOT FOOT!" yelled Morton and Roy.

"Let's open this door before you two kill me."

Morton opened the door, but there were no Axems in sight. "Hey, if this is the BOSS's room, where are those pesky, annoying, irritating, aggravating, stupid, punkish, foolish, fish-eating Axems?"asked Morton.

"On vacation with Iggy?" puzzled Roy.

"I'm the BOSS here!!!" came a familiar voice.

"What? YOU?! What is Marsh Mallow Nimbus of Nimbus Land doing HERE?!"asked Hot Foot.

"I'm the BOSS, but I'm not really on the side of the Axems. I just do this to have fun. Argh! Darn mosquitoes! Take THIS!" Mallow used Psychopath on the Mosquitoron to find its 112 HP and the message "Bzzz..... I... am... ANNOYING!!!" The Mosquioron buzzed off, scared.

"Well, I guess we fight now," stated Roy.

"Nope. I now give you permission to pass. The Axems are the CEO's of this operation. Watch out for Czar Dragon," said Mallow.

Morton ran ahead, followed by Hot Foot and Roy. Mallow warped home to Nimbus Castle for his dinner with Kirby of Dream Land (junk food andpizza).

Morton ran towards the door marked "CEO - Get the $@#%* out of here!", but he fell down a hole leading into the Blaarg battle room. "AAAHHH!!! Blaarg attack!" yelled Morton.

"Chill out, I can calm him... With my FIST!" shouted Roy.

Czar Dragon unleashed his Helios and Boulders on the team. Hot Foot remained undamaged. "Gasp... Huff... Who ARE you?" asked Czar.

"What, don't you remember?" retorted Hot Foot.

".... Is that... YOU!? My, it's been ages! Hot Foot, where have ya BEEN?"

"Castle Koopa. Anyhow, we must pass you and take down the CEO of this place. Think we could pass?"

"Sure, go ahead. I hate the Axems, anyway."


The trio ran on to face the Axem Rangers. After running past Podoboo (one knew Roy from the Sky Castles), Fire Brothers (Morton's right-hand turtles), and Ignitia (Hot Foot's girlfriend, who was on vacation), as well as passing Mario, Luigi, and Iggy, they reached the lair of the Axems. Morton busted the door down and the charged in.

The Axems were playing poker at the time. "Hey, you can't just charge in here!" yelled Red.

"We must destroy you now, and get back to my victory!" stated Green.

"You mean MY victory!" corrected Yellow.

"Shaddup you idiot!"

"Make me!"

"QUIT THAT!" snapped Pink.

"Yes, do stop now," added Hot Foot.

"Keep out of it, punk!" demanded Black

"Engage battle, fighting, combat, violence, noise, clamor..." called Roy.

"QUIET!" snapped the Axems.

The battle began. Roy took on Yellow and Green.

"Oh great, the one I hate!" rhymed Green.

"You said it!" agreed Yellow.

"I must not let you two stop me! I will conquer you for the fun of it!" warned Roy.

"Yeah right!"

Roy whipped out an Ice Rock and dropped it on Yellow. Yellow was crushed under it, and couldn't move. Roy also dropped Crystals on Green. Green, being weak, ran away.

"So long, sucker!" called Green to Yellow.

"Hey, I can't MOVE! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!"

Hot Foot engaged in combat with Pink and Black.

"A punk like YOU can't beat the master dude of disaster!!!" gloated Black.

"I got ya back, Black! Just you say the word, and I'll heal the damage that Hot Foot may cause! Now let's finish this little shrimp off and then extinguish Ignitia!"

"Not on your lack of lives, Axem trash!!" challenged Hot Foot.

Hot Foot used Aurora Flash to put them to sleep, then melted their axes, as well as Black's shades. Pink couldn't do any magic, and Black was defenseless as well as soon-to-be humiliated. Hot Foot used his Ultra Fire to toast them back to consciousness. They awoke to a startling discovery.

"Hey! Where's my?..." asked Pink.

"My AXE! My AXE SHADES!!! I'm soo out of date!" wailed Black.

"Look again!" mused Hot Foot.

"AAAAHHH!!! My outfit's on fire!"

"Let's raise up on outta this joint! On the double!"

"Easy as pie," mused Hot Foot.

Morton engaged Red.

"So you think your talking will stop me, do ya?" asked Red.

"No, but my attacks will put your shenanigans, monkey business, and foul Koop-Napping to an end!"

Morton used his Corona to blind Black, who ran into Red. Then Morton used a Desert Blast to send sand into their outfits. One more Corona set the sand ablaze.

"YEEEEOOUCH!!!!!!! I'm outta here! I must leap into water to extinguish myself!" screamed Red.

"So much for killing Ignitia!" sighed Black.

The Axems ran off to take a break, except Yellow, who was STILL under the Ice Rock. "Hey, what about ME?" screamed Yellow.

"YOU'VE got some explaining to do!" demanded Roy.

"Do it NOW!" ordered Morton.

"Here, take this Key, get your friends and that pesky Koopa Girl! I must tunnel out of here if I can!" whined Yellow.

"OK," said Morton.

"What Koopa Girl?" asked Hot Foot.

Yellow was sleeping under the Ice Rock.

"We'll see..." said Morton.

Morton unlocked the CEO door on the floor above and released Larry, Wendy, and Lemmy. Roy unlocked Ludwig, and Hot Foot melted the Koopa Girl's chains. "Ya think they'd use fireproof chains or something!" laughed Hot Foot.

Morton ran over to the Koopa Girl and gazed in disbelief. She was absolutely stunning. "Wh.... Who... ARE YOU???" stammered Morton.

The girl introduced herself. "Hi, hello, greetings, salutations, wassup! I am Izirina Koopa of the Star World, located high above the vast, large, ancient, tiring, tough, terrible, yet pleasant Dinosaur World."

"You talk like ME!"

"Really, truly, honestly, absolutely?

"Yes, of course, and positively!"

"Oh brother!" sighed Roy.

"Let's go HOME!" said Hot Foot.

Back at Castle Koopa...

Ludwig was again munching a Butterfinger bar and enjoying it. Lemmy was doing tricks on his ball, while Wendy admired both herself and Lemmy. Iggy was STILL on vacation, Roy was beating up his punching bag (not Morton), and Morton was talking to Bowser. "Please oh please, can we keep her?" pleaded Morton.

"No Morton. We can't keep another girl here. Wendy is already too much, and Shelley complicates thing for my minions."

"I heard that, King Dad!" called Shelley from the hallway.

"Well, I like her, 'cause she's sweet, kind, nice, beautiful, a talker, not annoying, hates fish, loves me, is named Izirina, loves the Koopahari Desert, hates Ice Land, feels neither one way nor the other about Sky World, can beat up Wendy..."

"NO SHE CAN'T!!!" yelled Wendy.

"Wanna try that again?" challenged Izirina.

"I'll shut up now," said Wendy.

"ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH!!! Morton, we can keep Izirina, just all of you STOP arguing!" yelled Bowser.

"YAY!" yelled Morton.

"Hey, where's Larry?" asked Ludwig.

Larry was in his room locking lips with Susan B. Koopa (Actually, she was sharing lip locks with Larry and Troopa). "I love my life!" cheered Susan.

"I don't know what I see in you now, but it's something," said Larry.

"I don't know either, but I like it!" added Troopa.

Disc O. Koopa was surfing down the hall with Ptooie Koopa. "Hey, why aren't we in most of this Fun Fiction Story?" asked Ptooie.

"Because John R. Jones II didn't think another story starring us was a good idea just yet," said Disc.

"I thought he was on a writing hiatus."

"No, he just needed to think of something good to write."

"Well when will he write, publish, create, make, authorize yet another stary, tale, Fun Fiction or Scribble, adventure with us wonderful, exciting, amazing, amusing..."

"QUIET!!! There were enough Morton bits tonight!"

At that, Ptooie opened his mouth... And all at the same time, Susan engaged in a lip lock with Troopa, then Larry. And Hot Foot and Ignitia kissed. And Morton and Izirina kissed as well. And Disc smacked Ptooie upside his head. And Wendy and Lemmy kissed. Then Iggy said, "Hope Bowser doesn't find out that I took 1000 of his gold coins for this trip!"

"IGGY!!!" yelled Bowser.

The End

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