CHAPTER 2
Only one person had seen the portal and known its purpose. He sat in an old, Gothic mansion on the outskirts of Diamond City, overlooking the metropolis on a forested hill that was in perpetual twilight. The multi-colored dimensional rift hovered above the city, jerking back and forth violently as rain poured out of it.
In the mansion’s attic, amidst piles of cracked cauldrons, deformed skulls, and worn copies of “Sucking Blood for Dummies”, a cloaked figure looked through an opening in the ceiling using a telescope made from rolled-up newspapers. His appearance was hard to describe, since every detail fought for attention. On one hand, he was an old man covered in wrinkles, warts, and graying hair, but at the same time he had purple skin, pupil-less eyes, red claws, and blood-stained fangs. He was also surprisingly muscular for his age, built in the arms and abs. He was best compared to a demonic, bodybuilding grandpa, though slightly more intimidating.
For another minute he observed the portal, occasionally consulting a barely legible scroll in his hand, before an ear-piercing shriek interrupted his train of thought. He sighed, crumpled up the telescope, and threw it to the side before descending a spiral staircase. He passed by a mirror on his way down. There was no reflection.
He arrived in the main hallway, a cavernous space in which several staircases branched off into different parts of the mansion. For those who had no intention of scaling loop-de-loops of stairs, torn couches, a concession stand covered in delicacies from the human body, and a broken guillotine made the room nice for a leisurely afternoon. Dozens of paintings adorned the cracked walls, depicting various quaint scenes. In one, a woman was bound and gagged in a burning cauldron, her flesh slowly melting away to expose the skeleton underneath. It was easy on the eyes and contributed to the room’s aura of inner-peace and relaxation.
There was little reason to relax at the moment, however, as sitting by the guillotine was a baby girl, her demon-decorated diaper wet, crying as loud as her lungs could sustain. From across the room the vampire could smell the horrible stench, worse than any corpse he had ever happened upon. Pinching his nose shut, he walked slowly towards the baby like a tiger stalking its prey, only the end result wasn’t a satisfying hunk of meat to chew on.
“Red!” he called out. “Red, come here this instant!”
A crimson streak shot down from the ceiling several stories above and crashed into the ground in a brilliant display of flames. Once the fire died down, the demon from within rose to its feet, raising its claws in an intimidating pose before emitting a high-pitched squeak.
The vampire shook his head in dismay and looked down at Red. Being one-foot tall, googly-eyed, and suspiciously similar to a doll wasn’t the best way to strike fear into the hearts of mortals, but Red was efficient as a caretaker for the mansion and the occasional chew toy for the baby, and it was for that reason that his master had kept him for so long.
“Red, did you forget to change Ashley’s diaper?”
Red shook his head weakly and shrugged.
“Don’t you lie to me. I specifically asked you to watch over her while I was attending to business, and where are you when I find her wailing away? Swooping down from the ceiling and striking poses.”
Red squeaked frantically in a desperate attempt to excuse his actions. His vampire master would have none of it as he shoved the demon to the side with his foot and walked towards Ashley. He carefully picked her up and conjured a clean diaper in his hand, going through the arduous process of changing diapers while enduring the ungodly stench. When he was done, he hurled the dirty diaper to the side, it landing squarely on Red’s head.
With an exasperated sigh, the vampire set Ashley back on the ground and fell onto the nearest couch. Red heaved the diaper off of his head and hobbled over to his master. He let out a frustrated squeak.
“Now, now, no reason to talk to me like that,” the vampire moaned. “My work has given me a killer migraine as it is. Changing diapers only complicates it.”
Red contemplated this, then hastily apologized for his disobedience.
“Oh, forget it. Just listen to my orders for once, will you?”
Red nodded enthusiastically.
‘Listen,” the vampire said as he got up, “my life has been a dump since Lilith left me for Alucard. I’m stuck with the baby, can’t pay the rent, and people just aren’t as frightened of me as they were two centuries ago. I don’t want to live the rest of my immortal years as a nobody, a man who’s had his golden years centuries ago!”
Red gave a sympathetic squeak.
“But I’m not done yet.” The vampire’s face twisted into a horrendous, fang-bearing grin. “At long last, the portal has once again opened. No doubt that the prophesized Chosen Ones will be arriving momentarily. The filthy denizens of Diamond City will fall to their feet and beg their new “heroes” for a better life… but then I will intervene and kill the Chosen Ones. And once again I will be feared!”
Red jumped up and down with glee as his master let out a chilling cackle. Ashley, playing with a plastic skull, tried to mimic her father with a ghastly gurgle.
“If you wish to make up for your disobedience, then head out to Diamond City and await the arrival of the Chosen Ones. Take note of their appearance, their strengths, their weaknesses, and report back to me. I want to know everything about them so I can plan their demise immediately…”
Red gave a confident salute and unfurled his tiny wings. He shot towards the nearest window, realized it was closed a moment too late, peeled himself off of the glass with some difficulty, and found the nearest open window before flying into the stormy sky.
Red’s master watched him depart with a coy smile before turning to Ashley. She had her head under the guillotine, shaking it vehemently in an effort to bring the blade down upon her. Luckily, the blade was stuck and the only way to bring it down was to jump on top of it several times with iron boots and expert balance.
“Ashley, darling,” he said, “it pains me to say it, but you are just like your mother. I will raise you unlike she did, though, and you will become a spitting image of me. Once you are grown, you will be the most feared vampire in all of the land!”
Ashley farted in response. He swatted away at the stench and fell back onto the couch, closing his eyes. It was the one time in his existence that he wished vampires didn’t have it so tough.
~~~
Sun shining
through my window
It gleams
like honey so golden and so sweet
You can almost
taste it…
“Dribble, do we have to listen to this song over and over again?” Dr. Crygor asked. “This is the fifth or sixth time we’ve heard it!”
“I thought that was how you made it,” Dribble said. “It’s the only thing this baby’s ever played since we got it.”
Crygor scoffed. “That’s impossible! I designed the radio system using rare metals in the machinery that are sensitive to the driver’s emotions. Therefore, it should complement your current mood with an appropriate song.”
“Then I guess this song just fits my mind perfectly!”
“But the mortal mind is a complicated mass, and due to the various stimuli for different situations, it would be impossible for the same song to play all the time.”
Dribble thought this over and then burst out laughing. “Sure, I might get sad, angry, and all that jazz every now and then, but whenever I’m in my baby, hands on the wheel, feelin’ the tar roads rollin’ beneath the wheels, I’ve never been happier.”
The taxi sped through the streets, scoping out the sidewalk for any commuters in desperate need of a ride. Unfortunately, the rain kept potential customers to a minimum. Dribble had only picked up one customer thus far, a raving lunatic who thought that north was west, east was south, and that every compass he bought was a piece of junk. He was kicked out shortly after being picked up.
Driving through
Diamond City
I wanna escape
the crowds and concrete for
Where the
hill and sky meet
The rain seemed to be getting worse with each passing second. Already several of the city’s first buildings, made from wood, had been struck by lightning and burned to the ground. None of the newer structures, made from matches, had been struck yet, but it was only a matter of time.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t stop now?” Crygor said. “I don’t think anybody wants a ride at this point.”
“No matter rain or snow or war or world-ending Apocalypse, the taxi must be driven until the shift is over,” Dribble said with his chest puffed out and chin held high. “Learned that at the Cabby Academy.”
“But isn’t it kind of pointless when we can hardly see a thing?!”
“Nonsense! In fact, there’s one guy over there!”
“Really? Where?”
“Oh, darn it. Never mind that.”
“What? What happened, did we pass them?”
“No, it’s just that they were struck by lightnin’ and burnt to a crisp.”
Crygor had just about lost it at this point. “I know you’re a friend and all, and I respect your choice of profession, but I’m afraid that if I do not make it to a warm and hospitable motel soon, then I will get stressed and you know what stress does to my ability to invent!”
“But Doc, we can’t stop yet!” Dribble insisted. “You can wait twenty minutes, can’t you? The shift’s almost over.”
“Look, just drop me off and I’ll go inside myself. I know you promised to pay for my room, but I can do it myself. Really, it’s no hassle.”
Dribble became disheartened, and the radio’s melody grew distorted before fading to a mere whisper. The taxi came to a sudden stop, throwing Crygor against the door. Spitz could be heard thrashing about in the trunk, hissing in pain.
“I see…” Dribble murmured. “Well, Doc, if that’s what you want, there’s a nice motel up ahead. Quite cheap, but it has its benefits. Hope you don’t mind walking there…”
Crygor rubbed his head and looked at Dribble, feeling pity for the miserable, inferior dog. However, there was no time to sit around and console him, as Crygor had blueprints to draw up, inventions to make, and finished products to sell.
“All right, Dribble. Hope the rest of your shift goes well, and hopefully, we shall cross paths tomorrow.”
“Right… See ya… Doc.”
Crygor unbuckled and jumped out of the cab, giving one last glance towards the sniveling Dribble before walking towards the rundown motel with a neon sign that read “Sally’s Funhouse” in an eye-melting pink. The windows were cracked, the front door was ripped off its hinges, and the sound of moans, whoops of joy, and drunken laughter came from inside in sudden bursts before fading to awkward silence. Whatever benefits Dribble believed it to have, Crygor could not see. He did agree that it looked pretty cheap.
Dribble watched Crygor step inside the motel with tear-streaked eyes, blubbering uncontrollably while the radio became a cacophony of ear-splitting wails and shrieks, the original song distorted to the point of being unrecognizable. Spitz had gotten out of the trunk, storming towards the front seat and hopping in with a scowl on his bruised face. He spoke with a mouth full of dust, pieces of bent metal, and other objects strewn about in a car’s trunk.
“Fwut’r ‘e ‘atin’ fer?” Spitz managed to say.
“W-W-What?” Dribble whimpered.
Spitz spat out his mouth’s contents and tried again. “What are we waitin’ for? Doc’s gone now and we’ve still got a shift to finish. Let’s get goin’!”
“Yes, yes… I know,” Dribble said as he started the car. “It’s just that… Have you ever noticed that nobody wants to ride with us for long? Some customers ask to get off early before we’re even close to the destination, and others take one look at my baby and… well, they’re runnin’ away with fear in their eyes. Even the Doc, our best bud, demands to get off before the shift is done… and it’s not even that long a wait!”
“Dribble, ya worry too much about these things, ya know?” Spitz said with a chuckle. “Business just ain’t good in the city, that’s all. I mean, who wants to take a ride around this dump, pshh…”
Dribble gave one look at Spitz, his eyes widened in a pathetic display of sorrow, before the car began to trudge forward at a snail’s pace. Spitz rolled his eyes and sighed. “Come on! You’re getting’ all uppity over the Doc wantin’ to get off early? You know how eager the guy gets when he wants to invent. It’s nothin’ personal!”
“I know, I know!” Dribble sputtered. “But just once I’d like a friend, a customer, a family member… somebody who could stick through the entire ride with me.”
“Well, I-”
“Besides you, I mean… Somebody like Coco…”
“Oh jeez,” Spitz said, “Dribz, you can’t tell me you’re still thinkin’ of the girl! It’s been five years since the breakup, for cryin’ out loud!”
“But we were perfect for each other!” Dribble wailed. “Everything was looking good, but then…”
“Stop it, Dribble! You can’t let your emotions get a hold of you!”
Dribble turned and gave Spitz the coldest glare the cat had ever received. Few eyes had ever held such a chilling glint, not even the ill-tempered boss of the Diamond Taxi. The radio started to blare a wall of incoherent sounds that would put any metalhead to shame, keeping up with Dribble’s rapid decent into anger and frustration.
“It’s not like you would understand,” Dribble said, “being single and all. But I’ve seen love, I was tortured by love, I was left for dead by love. You were ignored by love, left alone by love, saved BY LOVE! You don’t have the authority to tell me to not let my emotions grab a hold of me!”
Spitz unbuckled and stood on top of his seat, face-to-neck with Dribble. “Well, you will not be defeated by love, because you do not deserve to be chained up by love, because you’re better than lo- I mean, by love-”
“JUST SHUT UP!” Dribble screamed. Spitz shriveled back into his seat, staring up into his partner’s cold eyes with a newfound fear. Perhaps it was the natural tension between cats and dogs. Maybe it was the fact that Dribble was staring him down while driving in the rain. Either way, Dribble was out for blood, and Spitz was conveniently located next to him.
“Look, just calm down,” Spitz sputtered. “Keep your hands on the wheel, turn back towards the road, and finish the shift. There’s no need to be worryin’ ‘bout the past at a time like this!”
Spitz instinctively curled up into a ball as soon as he was done talking, anticipating a blow to the head or a throw through the windshield. Instead, all he heard was Dribble whining as the taxi came to a slow, steady halt.
“I’m sorry,” Dribble murmured. “I know I should forget about her after five years, but sometimes the memories come back. That smooth, silky brown hair, firm tail, body like a huntin’ dog... Surely you must understand that feeling, Spitz.”
Spitz shrugged as he got back into a sitting position. “Dribble, you have to understand that she’s gone. If she had the guts to leave ya, then she ain’t a good lover. You’ve got to move on, graze better fields.”
“Yeah, yer probably right,” Dribble said with a weak smile. “Look, sorry ‘bout my attitude, I’m just not here in the head. How ‘bout you drive while I calm down. That okay?”
“Sure. Just get the baby seat from the trunk, a’ight?”
“A’ight.”
Before the two could get too soppy, they leapt out of the taxi and walked around in the driving rain to the opposite side of the car. Dribble stopped by the trunk to pull out a worn baby seat that had held many a wet, diaper-wearing rear and handed it to Spitz, who was almost crushed by its weight. With some effort, Spitz threw the chair onto the driver’s seat and got inside, struggling to look over the wheel as he started the engines. Dribble sat beside him, wiping away the last of his tears.
“Hey, Spitz?”
“Yeah, Dribble?”
“After the shift’s done, how ‘bout goin’ to Tomorrow Hill. That place always cheers me up.”
“Sure thing, Dribble. Just sit back and relax until then, a’ight?”
“A’ight.”
The taxi once again began rolling along the street, cutting through the raindrops like a yellow, black-and-white checkered knife. Spitz turned the radio back on, which now played a song about being a lawyer, playing basketball, and some girl named Fontaine, as the animal duo finished off their shift and went to Tomorrow Hill, a mystical place where dreams came true and people couldn’t help but smile. It was also the subject of urban legend, the place where the two Chosen Ones would come crashing from the heavens. Dribble and Spitz knew nothing of the legend, as neither were avid newspaper readers, and ended up driving into the eye of the storm while carrying an unwanted passenger.
To Be Continued...
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