Chapter 3: One Giant Leap. Then a Small One. Then a Medium-Sized One.
We see a red car with the title’s name next to it. Princess Shroob is still digging and finds a ring on that body with what resembles a Shine Sprite on it. She then opens the trunk of the car. Oh, and Shroob’s still asleep. Meanwhile, Gadd opens a trunk and pulls out a hobo.
Hobo: FINALLY! DO YOU HAVE A PHONE, SO I CAN CALL MY FAMILY?
Gadd knocks the hobo out and pulls out a stuffed Goomba. He starts walking up to the school with Mimi.
Mimi: Not now, I’m busy watching Mona and Wart.
Gadd: HA, HA, YOU LIKE HIM!
Mimi: Nuh-uh!
Gadd: Uh-huh!
Mimi: Nuh-uh!
Gadd: Uh-huh!
Mona: I like your glasses, Mr. Gadd.
Gadd: Everyone does.
Mona: I’m going to run for class president!
Mimi: Yeeeah, I’m going to class now.
Meanwhile, Kamek has transferred the jokes from a Word file to his iPod, if that’s even possible. Yoshi appears next to him.
Kamek: Where were you?!
Yoshi: I teleported to the Mooshroom Kingdom!
Kamek: I think it’s pronounced “Mushroom”. Anyway, riiiiiight.
Yoshi pulls out Luigi’s House of Horrors.
Yoshi: Read this! You’re in it, too!
Kamek: Nah, I don’t feel like it.
Yoshi: Too bad, come with me! We apparently have to save a life.
Meanwhile, Dimentio is on a Jungle Gym and tries to fly off it. He keeps failing, and eventually heads to Bleck’s HQ.
Bleck: Hey, Dimentio. Will you be at my fundraiser party?
Dimentio: I told you, I dislike charities like Chuck Norris dislikes people who don’t do what he says. Anyway, I tried to fly again-
Bleck: Dimentio, you know what I said about saying that… Wait, I never told you.
Dimentio: I failed and snuck into the library in Peach’s Castle and found a book called “The Calvin and Hobbes 10th Anniversary Book”. It made me laugh like a hyena! And then I found this book called “Starting Evolution”. It’s very suspicious, so we have to find the author. I think he may be in Koopa Village.
Bleck: Sounds like fun. But I have to keep people from thinking you’re crazy, because they know about your stunt the other day.
Meanwhile, Kooper is on a laptop when Vivian enters.
Vivian: Do you have any sugar I could barrow?
Kooper: No.
Vivian: Crud. I was making sugar cookies to feed my sister before my other sister, Beldam, had to punish me.
Kooper: Oh well. I’m messing with that code right now.
Vivian: And…?
Kooper: Just saying. I’m trying to find a person on the map, too. But it’s SO FRUSTRATING!!!
Kooper throws the laptop out the window. It’s then thrown back and it hits Kooper in the face.
Kooper: Ow…
He throws again, and this time it hits a wall, and a book comes out. Kooper and Vivian approach it. There are bags of Vim stapled to the pages.
Vivian: Wow, the author must be a vampire or something.
On the back page there’s an address for King Boo. There’s a key taped on it, too. Meanwhile, ABG is questioning Toad.
Toad: It’s kind of like someone’s talking to me on the inside.
ABG: Cool! Do they tell you to cause Game Overs?
Toad: No. Not yet. Oh, the voices of the people! I thought you meant the voices in my head that I have to go to therapy for! Anyway, in addition to being slightly insane, I can hear minds.
ABG: What am I thinking about right now?
Toad: I don’t know, it just comes to me.
ABG: Crud, I owe Secret Agent Goomba my house and possessions, now! Just give it a tr-
Toad: “Why did they delay Super Smash Bros. Brawl?”
ABG: 0.0
Toad: Now how long to I have to be here? I have therapy in a few hours.
ABG: Do you want to work with the FBI?
Toad: Okay.
ABG: Then you can go now.
Meanwhile, Boshi is near Mimi, who’s pulling a katana out of her locker… I’m not going to ask. Oh, and she pulls out a textbook.
Boshi: So you lose your tape and now you can just go to the Football game?
Mimi: Yeah.
Boshi: Okay, just checking.
Meanwhile, that random goomba… Wait, that Goomba’s been around for a while now, I should probably name it… You are now Bob!
Bob: But that’s not my name!
It is now. Anyway Bob’s looking at a painting of the scene with Mimi and Boshi just now in Vincent’s place. Vincent then phases through the wall.
Vincent: Hey, were you trying to take my paintings?
Bob: I told you, I’m just taking them to the gallery to pay for your session!
Vincent: But I don’t want to go! I said they smell like cabbages! Besides, I can’t paint these things to come without my Power-Downs.
Bob: You couldn’t do that in the first place.
Vincent: Like to explain how every single one I did came true? Including that one of something happening to Peach’s Castle?
Bob leaves and then Vincent answers the phone. Yoshi’s yelling at him in Yoshinese.
Vincent: STOP IT! I CAN’T UNDERSTAND! AND THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT PLACE!
He hangs up. Meanwhile Yoshi and Kamek are walking outside and Yoshi’s trying to call again.
Kamek: Ooh, are you calling for that sweepstakes?
Yoshi: No.
Kamek: DANG IT!
Yoshi: I’m calling the author of that comic.
Yoshi stops, and Kamek bumps into him.
Yoshi: Okay, this is the place where I lost my lunch money in fourth grade. Oh, and it’s also the place where we have to save that girl.
A bunch of girls run by, and Yoshi’s reading the back. None of them are her. But then he finally sees her about to get hit by a red Yoshi that’s been turned into a car.
Yoshi: Oh my DAD! Kamek, do something!
Kamek shoots a spell at the car that causes it to explode.
Yoshi: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HIM!!
Kamek: It’s okay, look.
The Yoshi is up in the air, so I guess the explosion reverted him to normal… However, he’s about to fall onto another little girl.
Yoshi: No…
Kamek: Get out of the way!
She sees the Yoshi falling towards her. And he’s going so fast, the impact will damage her. Yoshi concentrates and time freezes!
Time: Brr, anyone have a blanket?
Yoshi eats the girl and hatches her out in an egg to keep her safe. He gets out of the way and time starts again, and the Yoshi crashes.
Red Yoshi that crashed: I’m okay.
Yoshi: Now do you believe me?
Kamek:
0__0
/__\
Meanwhile, Princess Shroob finishes shoveling, and takes the shovel to the car. She’s studying that ring.
Princess Shroob: Oooooh. Shiny….
Or just admiring how shiny it is. Shroob wakes up.
Shroob: What the- Where are we?
Princess Shroob: Gritzy Desert. We’re going to your grandpa’s house.
Shroob: The one with the hook hand and the halfro*?
(*Half an afro)
Princess Shroob: No, the other one.
Soon, the car reaches a house. Shroobsworth opens the door. Princess Shroob is mad.
Princess Shroob: No, I just stubbed my toe and I’m in pain.
Shroobsworth: Hello, Shroob! … Wow, Princess (in this story, that’s her first name, revealing why she’s still called Princess Shroob, so we can finally shut up), you look thin.
Princess: I’ve been going to Curves.
Inside, Shroob is on a computer, and his parent and grandparent are in the kitchen.
Shroob: Oh yeah, shove me aside again.
Shroobsworth: My Spidey Senses indicate that you haven’t been taking good care of your son.
Princess Shroob: It’s not my fault! Tatanga’s off running from the law!
Shroobsworth: I think Shroob should live here.
Princess Shroob: What’s this ring?
Shroobsworth: I don’t know. Looks shiny, though.
Princess Shroob: Every guy in a group that Tatanga Game Overed wore a ring like this. I really need to get one.
Shroobsworth: I still say Tatanga’s been framed. Wait, how is he MY son if I’m a Shroob?
Uh, adoption?
Shroobsworth: Okay.
Princess Shroob: For some reason, I want you outside of Shroob’s life.
Shroobsworth: Well people in the Underwhere want cool, refreshing ice, but they won’t get it.
Princess Shroob: Bonechill, Frost Piranhas, and Skellobaits live down there. I’m pretty sure they can have their ice.
Shroobsworth: Oh. In that case, they want warm fire!
Princess Shroob: It’s actually quite warm down there.
Shroobsworth: THE POINT IS, YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT!
Princess Shroob: Please just leave us alone for some reason.
Princess Shroob takes the ring and leaves. Meanwhile, Toad is following ABG through the halls.
Toad: So what have I signed up for?
ABG: You have to talk to that Shy Guy girl you saved, Shy Girl. She hasn’t spoken since she said something about eating a sandwich and King Boo getting her parents. We’ll use your powers to get the information we need.
Toad: Wow. And nothing’s happened yet to totally dumb down the scene!
Empty Kool-Aid Man: Help! An alien took my shovel and drank my insides!
Toad: Never mind.
ABG: Agent Kool-Aid Man, get back to work.
Toad: Anyway, who’s King Boo? And what has he done?
ABG: He possesses people and gets them to Game Over themselves.
Toad: And you don’t think some of them could’ve been a different Boo or a Boo Guy?
ABG: Nope.
Meanwhile, Kooper is knocking on a door with Vivian next to him. Nothing happens, so he tries the key. It doesn’t work. He then shells into the door and it opens. The place is clean and everything’s in order. There’s another of the book Kooper found on a table. Kooper walks into a mirror, and reveals a passageway that he walks down. There’s another map with strings and pins, and somehow a black curtain is involved. Vivian shows up.
Vivian: Ever notice that your scenes are the most confusing to the author?
Kooper: Again, always when the smart person has a scene!
Vivian notices a picture of Bleck.
Vivian: Hey, that guy’s running for “First Ever Mario Villain That’s A Count Instead Of A King Or Something”.
Kooper: That’s a mouthful. And I think his Game may be in danger.
Kooper goes into a bathroom with missing objects, and finds words carved on the walls. They read “PLEASE FORGIVE ME” and “I DID WRONG” and “I COULD REALLY GO FOR A PIZZA RIGHT NOW”.
Kooper: OH MY DAD! WHAT HAS MY DAD BEEN DOING?!
Meanwhile, ABG and Toad walk into a room, and lights flicker, accompanied by screams.
ABG: It’s King Boo!
Toad: How do you know this?
ABG: It’s in the script!
They continue and find someone wearing a hat like Link, dragging Shy Girl out of the room.
ABG: FREEZE, PLEASE! Hey, that rhymes! Wait, I’m not supposed to say please!
He drops Shy Girl and runs away. ABG follows. Toad comes up to Shy Girl. He also looks up to find a Koopatrol agent pinned to a ceiling via chair.
Koopatrol Agent: I think I’m alive!
Toad: No one cares.
Shy Girl: Do you happen to know how exactly he found me?
Toad: Nah, but I think you’re safe now.
King Boo runs to a dead end, and ABG catches him.
ABG: Put your tiny, stubby hands in the air!
King Boo: At least I have hands!
ABG: … Just put them up.
King Boo somehow uses ABG’s Mini Bill Blaster to attack ABG, and Toad comes in and hits King Boo with a Mini Bill, knocking him down. ABG falls over from King Boo’s manipulated Mini Bill.
ABG: I’m okay.
King Boo phases through the wall.
Toad: Dang it!
Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek are on a plane with a fat woman between them.
Kamek: Wait, if you call me in the future, shouldn’t I be at home to answer?
Yoshi: Nah, taking action changes the future. At least that’s what Francis’s comics told me.
Kamek: Yeah, well I’m still not comfortable about heading towards where a nuclear explosion will happen.
The stewardess gives Kamek his bag of peanuts.
Kamek: Ahh, my peanuts. Now I am comfortable with it.
Yoshi: You think I should wear a costume?
Kamek: If you mention tights, or even think about getting me to wear a costume, I’m riding my broom back to Yoshi’s Island.
Yoshi: Oh no you won’t! This comic says we go together.
Meanwhile, Dimentio and Bob enter an apartment from opposite ends.
Dimentio: Hey, I don’t know you, so this won’t matter. But I’m not going to be a doctor anymore. It’s too hard to explain, since there are lots of big words.
Bob: Could you try to?
Dimentio: …. No. No I can’t.
Bob: I’ll miss you.
Dimentio: Tell me my name.
Bob: … It’s Gary, right?
Dimentio: (in disbelief) … Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.
Meanwhile at a bonfire, cheerleaders are listening to Mona’s tale of why she works with Wario. But that was minutes ago, they’re now listening to her tale of rescuing MC Ballyhoo. Mimi is a little ways away, and Wart comes up to her.
Wart: Can I please rejoin the Drama Club?
Mimi: Again, no!
Wart: Oh, and Mona and I know you’re trying to find your actual parents.
Mimi: … Wow, you two are slow.
Wart: You don’t seem like yourself.
Mimi: And how do you know this? We’ve barely spoken, even in Drama!
Wart: Oh, “yourself” is drinking chocolate milk with FIVE straws, drawing rubees on the faces of people you meet for the first time, you always salt your sandwiches, which is unhealthy, and you’re the 2985748957th person to laugh at jokes.
Mimi: … I’m going to get a restraining order.
Meanwhile, Toadette is on a computer. Toad enters.
Toad: Sorry I’m late, odd things started happening. And on the way home, this guy bit my ankle and won’t let go.
He raises his leg to reveal P.T. still hanging onto Toad’s ankle with his mouth.
P.T.: (still gnawing) I was hungry!
Toadette: That’s okay, it’s not my fault you don’t care about our marriage.
Toad: Cool.
Toadette: (Dang it, why can’t he just leave?)
Toad: Maybe I will.
Toadette: Maybe you will.
Toad: Maybe I will.
Toadette: Maybe you-
Empty Kool-Aid Man: Enough of this!
Toad: You followed me too? Anyway, come on, guys! We’re leaving!
Toad, Kool-Aid Man, and P.T. leave. But P.T.’s still gnawing on Toad’s ankle. Meanwhile, Wart keeps trying to come talk to Mimi, but she keeps poking him with a ten-foot pole every time. Wait, it only took her 2 minutes to get a restraining order?
Mimi: Ten feet minimum, remember?
Wart: It’s not my fault your odd habits are noticeable! Besides, I was just trying to return your wallet!
He approaches, but she pokes him again, knocking him outside the distance.
Wart: Dang it! Can’t you just calm down?!
Mimi: Nah.
Wart, in anger, spits a bubble at Mimi, but she dodges, and whacks him with the pole. He jumps over to her and knocks her into the fence, and she falls over. He picks her up and notices a branch sticking into her head.
Wart: Ewww. Gross.
Meanwhile, Princess Shroob is driving with Shroob in the passenger seat.
Princess Shroob: You haven’t spoken a lot. Are you hungry? We could get ice cream!
Shroob: How could you not know I’m lactose intolerant?!
Princess Shroob: It’s the script’s fault.
Shroob: Anyway, why do you think Dad’s not innocent?
Princess Shroob: They’re gonna catch him, you know.
Shroob: If they can find him, that is. Remember when you were looking for him to clean the gutters?
Flashback!
Princess Shroob: Tatanga! Where are you? Clean the gutters, NOW!
She walks by and Tatanga appears in his robot walker.
Tatanga: Good ol’ cloaking device.
Flashback over!
Sirens start, and the car pulls over. A police Pianta walks up to Princess Shroob.
Policeman: Mr. Don Pianta would like to see you.
Princess Shroob: But my son’s here.
Shroob: You forgot to lower your voice.
Princess Shroob: Oh, thanks. But my son’s here.
Policeman: What’s that? Your voice was drowned out by the sound of no one caring.
She gets out and goes over to the police car. Meanwhile, Dimentio is at the party even though he said he wouldn’t, with a Chuckola Cola. He runs into Bob.
Bob: Hey, Jerry!
Dimentio: That’s not my name. Anyway, a toast! To destiny!
They hit their cups together, and they break, spilling Chuckola Cola all over the carpet.
Dimentio and Bob: …
Dimentio: Maybe we should just eat some toast.
Bob: That works. You know, you seem different.
Dimentio: You wouldn’t know, since you don’t know me. Or my name.
Bob: Relax, Jimmy! See, I know!
Dimentio: …
Bleck is at a podium.
Bleck: Hi, everybody!
Everybody: Hi, no-but-possible-future-Count Bleck!
Bleck: My wife Tippi would be here if she could, but she can’t. So get over it, Francis.
Francis: Aww…
He leaves.
Bleck: I want you all to know, the Game Over of my friend Dimentio’s dad prompted me to run for this position. In addition to the fact that I didn’t mean to lose it last time. As you know, my brother from another mother, Dimentio, had an accident.
Mr. L: Woohoo!
Bleck: But he’s alive.
Mr. L: Dang it!
Dimentio’s mom looks from the stage at Dimentio, concerned. Concerned for her donuts, which she fears Dimentio may eat. Dimentio leaves in anger as Bleck starts to go on about some lie about Dimentio being suicidal. Meanwhile in Toad Town (the town where Toad’s stories take place), Yoshi and Kamek are at a candy shop.
Yoshi: Cash-Zap! No, Bowlo! Bowlo Candie, plee-az.
He gets his Bowlo candy, and they go rent a car.
Kamek: *noises that Kamek makes in Yoshi’s Island* Mushroom City? (Why do we need a car if we’ve got a flight to Mushroom City?)
Yoshi: Yoshi! Owowowow! Hmmmmmm! Yoshi! Mushroom City. (The comic says we rent a Ford and drive it all the way to Mushroom City.)
The rental person comes and gives them the car keys. Yoshi looks at the “screen” and tries to act serious.
Yoshi: Hah! Yoshi! (It’s Destiny Time.)
Kamek: So where do we go first?
Yoshi: Some aria around Gridzee Desert!
Kamek: Gritzy Desert, not Gridzee.
Yoshi: Oh... Yoshi! (It’s Destiny Time.)
Meanwhile, Toad, Kool-Aid Man, and P.T. walk into a Poison Shroom Shake Bar.
Podley: Hey, I see you brought the Kool-Aid man! … And some weirdo chewing on your ankle. So how are you doing?
Toad: Yeah, they won’t leave me alone. *sits down* To answer your question, I almost got arrested and got kicked out of my place. And these two are following me everywhere.
Podley: (I don’t want to hear your life story, just order!)
Toad: Oh. A Poison Shroom Shake.
Kool-Aid Man (sitting next to Toad): I’d like some Kool-Aid.
Podley: You cannibal!
P.T. (now sitting on Toad’s other side): I like chocolate milk!
Podley goes to get the drinks, and Toad looks over to a guy on a far off stool.
RC Shroober: (I’m running out of robotics. I need to go back to Radio Shack. Why is that guy looking at me? Is there some egg on my face? I hope not. I wonder if I could be friends with Spiderman.)
Toad looks to two female Koopas talking.
One of the Koopa females: (I’m hungry.)
Toad then looks at a doctor in blue scrubs with moussed hair.
Doctor: (At that point, I realized maybe I should wait until I get that hug from Dr. Cox.)
Yes, that was J. D. from Scrubs. Podley comes with the drinks, but gives a dirty look to Kool-Aid Man first. Toad looks over to a purple ghost in the corner. Toad can’t read his mind, and tries to leave. But he falls. Meanwhile, Kooper leads some police Piantas into King Boo’s apartment.
Kooper: It’s in here, peoples.
But Kooper notices everything’s gone.
Kooper: Ohhh…. Never mind.
Meanwhile, Bleck is laughing with Nastasia, O’Chunks, and Mr. L outside his limo. A starburst hits Bleck in the face. Dimentio walks up to him. In case you didn’t know, starbursts are the projectiles Dimentio shoots.
Dimentio: You jerk!
O’Chunks throws him at a light pole.
Bleck: It’s fine, O’Chunks. Easy, Dimentio.
Nastasia: We’re not going to get any lines, are we?
O’Chunks: Probably not.
Mr. L: I had one in the last Dimentio/Bleck scene!
Dimentio: There wasn’t a report on my story!
Bleck: There would’ve been!
Dimentio does his exploding box attack on Bleck.
Bleck: Ow! Get it?
Dimentio: You mean how we’re not friends anymore?
Bleck: No, that would be your feelings on this.
Dimentio: Oh. You’ll have to enlighten me on that should I forgive you.
Bleck: Okay, I’ll mark it on my calendar.
Dimentio leaves. Meanwhile, Vincent is in his studio looking through a sketchbook with lots of drawings of Bob. Meanwhile again, Dimentio is standing in the rain waiting for a cab. Bob approaches with an umbrella.
Dimentio: I didn’t try to kill myself! And are you going to share that umbrella?
Bob: No.
Dimentio: Dang it.
Meanwhile, Vincent finds a painting of Dimentio being mad about Bob not sharing his umbrella. Meanwhile, a doctor is fixing up Mimi. She sees that she’s terribly damaged, so much that the rules of Lemmy’s Land wouldn’t allow me to describe.
Mimi: (Oh DAD,
that was some attack!)
Chapter 4: Collision… Of something, I don’t know
Toad is unconscious on a table in a room of a colored light. There’s a band around his cap, monitoring brain stuff. He wakes up and Gadd comes up to him.
Gadd: Don’t worry, you’re okay. Sorry about having to do that to you at Podley’s.
Toad tries to get up, but he’s strapped down.
Toad: D’oh!
Gadd: Oh, and I can’t let you leave. And you’re special, too.
Toad: That’s what my mom said. Though in a somewhat mean way…
Gadd: And you can’t read my mind with my friend, the Shadow. He’s also special.
The Shadow comes.
The Shadow: Why can’t I just be called Bogmire?
Gadd: Because! Anyway, you’ll forget all of this.
Toad: Wait, who is Mimi?
Gadd: Dang it, you’re not supposed to be able to use your powers. The Shadow, you know what to do.
The Shadow: Call me Bogmire.
Gadd: No.
The Shadow: Aw man.
The Shadow causes two black shadowy clones to hold Toad Town, and The Shadow leans in. Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek walk into the Koopaseum Kola Bar, a tavern dedicated to the Koopaseum. It’s also a Pianta Parlor.
Kamek: *Kamek noises* (I’m hungry. Say, have you spoken to Vincent?)
Yoshi: Yoshi! Waah! Owowowowow! Hah! (I left a message in Yoshinese. I have to know how to say “It’s Game Over for you in five weeks and the kingdom will explode, too.”)
Kamek: It’s, Game, Over, for, you, in, five, weeks. And, the, kingdom, will, explode, too. Kamek noises (I’ll teach it to you later. But right now I want Koopa Kola!)
Yoshi: You allear-gik!
Kamek: Fine, you caught me. I’m just too lazy to teach you. And it’s “allergic”.
The two buddies walk past Princess Shroob and Shroob. The aliens talk to Lahla.
Lahla: Leave the kid here.
Shroob: Why am I always pushed aside?
Lahla: Okay, the Don will forget about the debt if you help him help a guy running for First Ever Mario Villain To Be A Count Instead Of A King Or Something.
Princess Shroob: That’s a mouthful.
And finally, the chapter title shows on a billboard advertising for the hospital Mimi is in. Dr. Mario (somehow now in Diamond City instead of Mushroom City) removes the branch, and he doesn’t notice the wound close up.
Mimi: (Again: Oh DAD, that was some attack!)
Mimi gets up and leaves, while Dr. Mario isn’t noticing. How are you missing all this?!
Dr. Mario: It’s happened before, so I tend to ignore it from time to time.
Meanwhile, Vincent is looking out a window.
Vincent: Cool! Car chase!
He then goes back and looks at that painting of Dimentio getting mad at Bob from before. Meanwhile…
Dimentio: Please?
Bob: No.
Dimentio: Do you WANT me to catch a cold?!
Bob: Maybe.
Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek are walking to a poker table.
Yoshi: I no think we showld do this!
Kamek: We’re fine! And it’s pronounced “should”.
Meanwhile, Green Shy Guy comes downstairs as Cackletta has made waffles, and she’s currently calling for Mimi. Meanwhile, Bleck and Nastasia are walking towards a limo.
Nastasia: K, I don’t know if you should get involved with Don Pianta.
Bleck: Do you want that saltine?!
Nastasia: Um, yes.
Bleck: Then you won’t try to run my Game.
Nastasia: K.
They’re about to get in when Kooper shells onto the scene.
Kooper: Hey Bleck, I have to talk to you.
O’Chunks comes and pushes him away.
Bleck: Thanks for your vote!
Kooper: I didn’t vote! And I think someone’s after you!
Bleck: Whubba?
Kooper: Have you heard of King Boo?
Bleck: No. And you’re…?
Kooper: Kooper!
Bleck: Okay. O’Chunks, get rid of Kooper.
O’Chunks: Aye!
Kooper: Dang it!
O’Chunks throws him into the distance while Bleck and Nastasia get in the limo. But Kooper quickly shells back, knocking O’Chunks into a garbage can, and the limo starts driving away. Kooper shells along the limo, trying to keep up. He jumps up and sticks his head out to speak when he’s in the air.
Kooper: (jumping) Have you… noticed anything… unusual? … As in… a… super power?
Bleck snaps his fingers and O’Chunks comes back for Kooper. He grabs and kicks the shell away as Bleck closes the window.
Bleck: Now to head to Gritzy Desert!
Mr. L (driving): I know, you said that five times before leaving. Besides, the limo’s already started.
Meanwhile…
Dimentio: Well, that cab STILL hasn’t come! And now I have a *sneeze* cold! Thanks a lot!
Bob: No problem, Timmy.
Dimentio: …
Bleck drives up to him.
Bleck: Your stupid Koopa friend started coming up to me and babbling on about superpowers!
Dimentio: Kooper’s dad? *sneeze*
Bob: Can I have your hat?
Dimentio: NO!
Bleck: … Anyway, I’ll pay you to be gone for a while.
Dimentio: No.
Bleck: Aww.
Mr. L drives the limo away.
Bob: Yeah, I’m gonna go back to Vincent now.
Dimentio: Just leave me alone!
Bob leaves. Meanwhile, Gadd walks down some stairs.
Cackletta: Get your daughter down here!
Gadd: Daughter, get down here.
Cackletta: You didn’t even yell!
Mimi comes downstairs.
Gadd: Where were you last night?
Mimi: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Later…
Mimi: Uhhhh- The shoe store!
Gadd: No, really.
Mimi: I was! Now I must leave!
Gadd (like in Japanese Kung-Fu movies where his mouth is funny): When you return, we shall continue this battle!
Mimi (like how Gadd is): We shall see!
They pull out katanas and start having a Kung-Fu fight. Mimi loses and then sees Green Shy Guy.
Mimi: … And?
Green Shy Guy: The waffles are ready.
Waffles: No! We want to live! Live, we say!
Meanwhile, Kooper is removing the pins from the map. Vivian appears.
Vivian: Parakarry wants you to have this.
Kooper opens it.
Kooper: I told him I dislike cherry pie! Oh wait! There’s something beneath it!
He pulls out a giant Ziplock baggie with a scattered Dry Bones inside.
Kooper: This must be my dad. I’m leaving. I mean, I had nothing with my dad years before he died, so I really don’t need to be here. I think.
Kooper starts packing up.
Kooper: I think I may bury my dad’s bones in a random part of Koopa Village.
Kooper opens the door to leave and finds Dimentio outside the door.
Dimentio: Is your dad here?
Vivian (off-screen): No.
Dimentio: You sure?
Vivian (off-screen): Yes.
Dimentio: Could you check?
Vivian (off-screen): No.
Dimentio: Please?
Vivian (off-screen): No.
Dimentio: Some people gave me this book. Are you, uh, whoever *sneeze* Kooper’s dad is?
Kooper: Dimentio, we’ve met. I am his son, not him.
Dimentio: Oh yeah. Good times.
A fantasy montage plays showing Dimentio and Kooper doing things together as friends. Then it ends.
Kooper: … None of that happened.
Dimentio: Anyway, this book *sneeze* talks about super powers, and I’m sure I have one.
Kooper stares at him…
Dimentio: … You okay?
Meanwhile, Kamek is at a roulette wheel when Yoshi comes up to him.
Yoshi: You see burning beanlet?
Kamek: No.
Yoshi: Good. You must gam-blee no more!
Kamek then gets into an argument with the dealer and the roulette wheel starts. Yoshi concentrates and time freezes. He puts the ball where Kamek wants it, fixes all the Koopa Kola cans on the waitress’ tray, and eats a Yoshi Cookie out of a little kid’s hand. He then sits and starts time again.
Dealer: Well there you go, crazy Yoshi’s Islander.
Kamek: Booya!
Yoshi: (whispering) Hah! Yoshi! Waah! Owowowowowow!! Hmmmmmm!!! Waah! No! I used my powers to cheat for you! Oh no! I’m evil!
Kamek: *Kamek noises* (Oh relax.)
Meanwhile Princess Shroob is back at the Dry Bones’s house.
Princess Shroob: I think I’m going crazy. I keep blacking out and things are different when I wake up.
Dry Bones: Like how you Game Overed those Piantas?
Princess Shroob: Yeah. One of them had a purple meteor slammed onto him.
Dry Bones: I don’t think you did it then. But I don’t know. I keep a lot of odd objects I use to damage people that don’t look like things I would have.
Princess Shroob: … Shroob was right about you. Anyway, I’ve had really odd dreams where an odd version of me is throwing meteors at people, as well as ramming into them and using Shroobs to shoot energy bolts or lead a Shroob Chomp through people. And that person can also turn into a giant monster with tentacles.
Dry Bones: Like split personality? My mom had one. Pity Jaydes now that she has to keep her in the Underwhere.
Shroob enters.
Shroob: Hey Mom, up for a round of Connect Four?
Princess Shroob: No. Dry Bones will, though.
Dry Bones: Yeah! The game is similar to “Who can eat the most donuts”, isn’t it?
Princess Shroob and Shroob: …
DING DONG!
Shroob opens a door.
Koopa Family: JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE-
Shroob: We don’t celebrate Christmas.
He closes the door and it dings again. He opens.
Shroob: A limo?
Princess Shroob: 0_0
Meanwhile, Dimentio is sitting at a table while Kooper and Vivian are talking.
Dimentio: (I’m bored. So bored. B-O-R-E-D, bored. I wonder if anyone could possibly be more bored than I am now. Doubt it.)
Vivian: I think he’s crazy.
Kooper: No, Crazy is a Paratroopa with a crown. This guy is demented, though.
Vivian: …
Vivian leaves. Kooper sits next to Dimentio.
Kooper: So when you were with Bleck, you could fly, though you could in Super Paper Mario, and when you were with Vincent, you could paint things that will happen?
Dimentio: Yes, like how a kid answers 4 when he’s asked what 2 plus 2 is.
Kooper: And when you’re near neither of them, you can’t do anything at all.
Dimentio: Yes, like… like… I can’t think of a simile right now.
Kooper: Whatever. You need to see my dad.
Dimentio: How can I get to him?
Kooper: Um, he’s on that table over there.
Dimentio looks over to another table and finds the giant baggie with the Dry Bones inside.
Dimenito: WHOAZ! Did not see THAT coming! So about this book? Do you believe in it or what?
Kooper: I dunno. You must prove.
Sakurai: You must recover!
Dimentio: Okay. I’ll prove, not recover.
Sakurai: T-take it easy! Say, what’s that thing dangling from Fox’s waist?
Sakurai leaves the apartment to go stare at Fox’s shiny reflector. Kooper locks the door so he won’t return.
Dimentio: Okay, we’ll- No, he’s gone. Okay, we’ll see Vincent.
Meanwhile, Bob enters Vincent’s place.
Bob: I’m back!
Vincent: Oh… Who ARE you, exactly?
Bob: Um, uh, well… Who are YOU?
Vincent: Vincent Van Gore.
Bob: Well, mystery solved. I want your new paintings!
Vincent: Too bad. Just sell the old ones. And give me money! For painting supplies.
Bob: As in canvas and paint, or Power-Downs?
Vincent: Anything interesting go on in the rain? Because I saw a car crash! It was neat… Oh, and here’s a picture.
He shows him the picture of him making Dimentio mad by not sharing his umbrella.
Vincent: I drew that weeks ago! And that one about Dimentio before they even made Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door! And that’s a whole Paper Mario game away from Super Paper Mario! Anyway, I have to stop the explosion.
Meanwhile, Mimi puts the katana back in the locker. So that’s what it was for! … Now she pulls out a death ray. Odd… Oh, and some textbooks. Boshi comes up.
Boshi: Dang, you almost died! And then you can just go and be normal?!
Mimi: Yeah.
Boshi: Okay, just checking again. But I do think you should tell someone. I know this traffic cop in Toad Town who sees a therapist! Maybe you should see her, too!
Mimi: Nah.
Goat from Aflac commercial: Naaah!
Mona walks up to them with Wart a ways back. Wart’s freaked out. And he’s a way back due to the restraining order.
Mona: Hey, what happened last night?
Mimi: Oh, I almost died.
Mona: Oh.
Wart leaves. What is up with you?
Wart: I’m freaked out because I thought she was a zombie, and then I left to call the Navy.
Oh. The Men in Bleck come and then wipe Wart’s memory of calling the Navy. They then leave in an overly complex way. Meanwhile, Princess Shroob is having a drink at the Koopa Kola Bar and Bleck shows up. Princess Shroob quickly throws a ticket into her Koopa Kola and purposely bumps into Bleck.
Princess Shroob: Dang it! Now you have to get me a new Spangle Ticket!
Bleck: But I saw you throw the ticket into the Kola as I entered.
Princess Shroob: … Just give me a new ticket.
Bleck: Fine.
Meanwhile, Dimentio and Kooper are on a subway.
Kooper: Can’t you just warp us there?
Dimentio: I could, but in this story I’d have to be near Yoshi. Wait, I don’t know him. Anyway, I should be the one talking to him, because he’s way into Power-Downs.
Kooper: YOU’RE SAYING WE’RE GOING TO A 1-DOWN MUSHROOM-HEAD’S HOUSE?
Dimentio: Yes.
Kooper: Just checking.
Dimentio: Though it’s not 1-Down Mushrooms, it’s Poison Mushrooms and Ztars. For some reason they help him paint the future. I don’t know.
Kooper: Weird.
Meanwhile, Vincent comes into his apartment with a black ? Block and sets it in midair. He punches it and a Poison Mushroom comes out, which he eats. He falls down through the floor.
Woman’s Voice (off-screen): AAAAAHHHH!!!
Vincent floats back up through the floor, embarrassed. He then falls to the floor and makes sure not to fall through. Let’s see what Vincent sees on his Power-Down Trip:
Vincent is on a roof and sees Mimi’s school. P.T. and The Kool-Aid Man run by, chased by a Chain Chomp. And the ice cream truck drives through. And another car crash! But then someone screams and Mimi runs out. She trips and a figure gets her.
Now Vincent is painting that vision.
Dimentio (outside the door): Little ghost, little ghost, let us in! That’s it, we’re going to blow your apartment down. As soon as we call Flurrie!
Kooper (also outside): She died.
Dimentio: I knew she shouldn’t have pigged out like she did!
We see that Vincent is in a trance. Meanwhile, Mimi closes her locker to find Koopie Koo next to her.
Koopie Koo: What happened with you and Wart at the bonfire?
Mimi: I got a restraining order. But that’s it.
Meanwhile, Yoshi and Kamek are riding down an escalator with black masks like Calvin and Hobbes when they play Calvinball. They have matching capes. Yoshi keeps trying to go up the escalator, but it’s one that goes down.
Kamek: It’s a down escalator.
Yoshi: But is fun!
(Maybe the bad Mushroomese accent is why Yoshi speaks poorly in some other stories.)
Outside…
Yoshi: Owowowowow! (Now can we go?)
Kamek: *Kamek noises* (But I want to go to another Pianta Parlor!)
Yoshi: Ugh. Maybe you should stayed on Island after all.
Kamek: Should HAVE stayed.
The guy Kamek played against in poker (a Pokey) and some of his friends appear.
Pokey: We’re going to End your Games so you won’t keep beating me!
Kamek: Not with my friend here!
Pokey: Riiiight.
The Pokey launches a body segment at Yoshi, knocking him out. Meanwhile in an apartment, Princess Shroob is looking out a window.
Princess Shroob: Wow, Gritzy Desert sure does look amazing through a high window. Hey! A car crash!
Bleck: Yeah, and it’d be cool to just fly over it.
(Note: The fact that these scenes took place in a desert in Heroes and these take place in Gritzy Desert is a coincidence. Cool, huh?)
Princess Shroob: When we all landed here in Partners In Time, my mothership flew over it!
Bleck: Um, I meant like actually flying yourself. Say, weren’t you married?
Princess Shroob: Are you a stalker?
Bleck: Only on Thursdays.
Princess Shroob: Then yeah. My husband, Tatanga, is a fugitive, so I have to raise my son all by myself.
Bleck: Ha ha! Sure stinks to be you!
Princess Shroob: Jerk.
Bleck: They don’t call it, “First Ever Mario VILLAIN That’s A Count Instead Of A King Or Something” for nothing.
Princess Shroob: True.
She goes down the elevator and sees her odd reflection again. The door opens and Vinny the Pianta thug comes in and slams her into the wall.
Vinny: You’re not done with your jokes yet!
Princess Shroob: What about Shroob?
Vinny: Don’t care!
Princess Shroob: What if I find a different way to raise money?
Vinny: Ooh, like a lemonade stand?
Princess Shroob: No.
Vinny: Then stick to the jokes, or we’ll do something to your son! We don’t know what, but it’ll be bad, that goes without saying.
Princess Shroob then glows red and shoots an energy ball at Vinny, knocking him out of the elevator, and then she throws the purple stars from the fight with her at Vinny until he’s barely conscious. And the whole time he’s screaming like a little girl. I’m not exaggerating, he really is.
Princess Shroob: Next time you threaten Shroob, at least decide on a thing you’ll do! And if you do and you still threaten him… I wouldn’t like that, that goes without saying.
Vinny: Okay.
He faints. Later, Princess Shroob knocks on a door and Bleck answers.
Bleck: Zuh?
Princess Shroob enters.
Bleck: … Hi, go on in…
Princess Shroob: I’m watching your TV!
Bleck: And what is wrong with yours, I asked.
Princess Shroob: It doesn’t have any color.
Meanwhile, Dimentio and Kooper are on the train again, on the way back.
Dimentio: Maybe we’ll try again tomorrow.
Kooper: Dude, this is seriously lowering my street cred! I mean come o-
Nothing happens.
Dimentio: Dude?
Time appears to have stopped. Meanwhile, Vincent wakes up and sees his new painting. One is of that scene from earlier, one is of Dimentio being surrounded by Paragoombas, one is of Yoshi and Kamek under a Vim-covered banner, one is a close-up of Mimi’s face in that scene, and one is of a pie. Meanwhile, Mimi is in the theater and Wart approaches, but he’s still ten feet away.
Wart: Why are you here?
Mimi: I have to make spirit week thingies, but Mona left. Give me a ride home, and I may reduce the order to nine and a half feet. If you’re good.
Wart: Okay.
Mimi: But I’m driving.
Soon, Mimi is driving the car down the street, and it’s dragging Wart behind, as he’s been tied on by a ten-foot rope.
Wart: This is hurting my bottom.
She runs a red light.
Wart: Hey! You could’ve killed a guy! Or me!
Mimi: You know, you’re a jerk!
Wart: Well I was a villain in Super Mario Bros. 2.
Mimi: Yeah… But you know, this is what you get!
She immediately turns and drives the car into a wall, knocking them both out.
Mimi: (losing consciousness) Whoops. I was aiming for the ocean…
Kool-Aid Man (in a lay-z-drink chair): Wow. From the other side, I guess that is really annoying.
Meanwhile, Princess Shroob and Bleck are strapped down to two tables and Gadd comes back. He walks up to both with The Shadow.
The Shadow: Please! Just one time! Call me Bogmire just one time!
Gadd: Okay.
The Shadow: Really?
Gadd: No.
The Shadow: Dang!
Gadd: Anyway, go for the caped one.
The Shadow: Why just him?
Gadd: Because!
The Shadow: And what if I refuse until you call me by name?
Gadd: I’ll turn you back into a portrait.
The Shadow: Fine.
Meanwhile, Dimentio keeps trying to escape the subway train. Footsteps are heard on top of the car. Dimentio is scared and tries to look around, and he turns to find a green Yoshi. But he has a feather on his head, and he’s sort of taller and fatter.
Dimentio: Whubba?
The Yoshi: (without any accent) Are you Dimentio?
Dimentio: Yes.
The Yoshi: Sweet! Anyway, you look different without the hook hand.
Dimentio: I get a hook hand at some point?
The Yoshi: Oh yeah.
Dimentio: Ohhh. And who are you?
The Yoshi: I am Yoshi.
Dimentio: Are you a Yoshi?
“A Yoshi”: No, I’m the Yoshi.
Koopa: Then you must die.
Dimentio teleports the Koopa to Dimension D with Kylie.
Dimentio: Oh, so you’re the main Yoshi from lots of spinoffs and such.
The Yoshi: Yep.