Chapter 9: The Homecoming Game. How cliché.
There’s a bird’s eye view of an amphitheater of Mimi’s school. The chapter’s name appears and students walk into the theater. There’s a montage of cliques: nerds, jocks, skaters, cheerleaders, guys who like to burn stuff then run away and deny doing it but then get caught and spend the rest of their lives in jail with a guy named Billybob who calls them “John” and won’t shut up about Snifits. Mimi walks out of the school with Boshi. The two of them sit by themselves. The principal comes out.
Boshi: Ooh, an announcement.
Mimi: So?
Boshi starts annoying her and she walks past Wart, who is in a wheelchair signed by that Atticus guy from Lemmy’s Captions.
Mona: You think you’ll actually win?
Mimi: I never said that.
Mona: Oh.
P.T.: Okay, go look at the list so you’ll all shut up.
Mona: Since when are you the principal?
P.T.: Ever since the old principal took a permanent vacation, uh, Down Under.
Meanwhile, Principal Smithy is tied up under his desk. That’s what P.T. meant.
Kool-Aid Man: Stop whining, with me you’ll stay hydrated!
Then the cheerleaders see that Mimi won Homecoming Queen. Wait, where’s Stuffwell? Oh well.
Doopliss, C-Student: Does that make me a homecoming peasant?
Generic Blue Yoshi, Janitor: Likely. And why are our occupations listed after our names like in Survivor?
Because.
Mimi: I actually won? Sweet.
All the students start chanting.
Students: DO-NUTS! DO-NUTS! DO-NUTS!
Donuts?
Students: WE’RE HUNGRY!
Meanwhile in Vincent’s old room, Bleck puts a painting on an easel with Bob next to him. We can’t see the picture’s front.
Bob: I can’t believe I haven’t appeared at all in the last episode.
Bleck: So what?
He looks at the painting.
Bleck: So that’s Dimentio?
Bob: Maybe.
Bleck: At Diamond City High?
Bob: Maybe. He thinks he has to save a transforming spider thingy in order to save the world.
Bleck opens a can of black paint and sets it down, then sets the painting down on a table.
Bob: What are you doing?
Bleck then paints funny mustaches on everyone in the picture. He messes up on Dimentio’s.
Bleck: D’OH!
In anger he just paints over the painting.
Bob: You idiot!
Meanwhile, there is a shooting range out in Gritzy Desert. Princess Shroob (exactly as her odd reflection) is shooting.
Princess Shroob: What did you say the range was?
Bob-omb: You really wanna know?
Princess Shroob nods.
Bob-omb: IT’S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *explodes*
Princess Shroob: Over nine thousand?
Bob-omb’s ghost: Actually over 9,345.
Princess Shroob: Oh. Wait, in what?
Bob-omb’s ghost: In Fictionmeters. Which translates into 400 yards.
Princess Shroob: Oh. I guess it’ll do.
She takes the Mini Blaster and walks over to her car.
Bob-omb’s ghost: Wow I guess you hate this guy.
Princess Shroob: Yeah, he’s my husband and he stole my son.
She drives away.
Bob-omb’s ghost: Hey! You had to pay for that!
In the car, she sees the regular Princess Shroob appearing nonchalant.
Princess Shroob: Hey, we’re gonna go hunting, okay?
Reflection: Do we have to?
Princess Shroob: Yes!
Reflection: Can we get ice cream first?
Princess Shroob: Eh, why not?
Meanwhile Tatanga and Shroob pull up to a restaurant in the desert.
Shroob: Weren’t we at Star Hill?
Tatanga: … There was a roadblock.
Shroob: Anyway I still think we should help Mom.
Tatanga: No. But now we can be like partners!
Shroob then fantasizes about him and his dad like Batman and Robin, and there’s a montage of them doing Batman and Robin stuff, including defeating the Joker.
Shroob: … I’ve always hated that Joker…
Tatanga: … I won’t ask. I’m going to be right back.
He gets out and walks away as a police car comes up next to his car. They both head to the diner they’re at, but Tatanga stops and gets a newspaper out of a bin. He comes back to find Shroob is missing.
Tatanga: I knew I shouldn’t have left his door open.
Meanwhile, Kooper and Kolorado push through a crowd in the store next to the entrance to Koopa Village.
Kooper: I think there actually might be a white Luma named Tyke!
Kolorado: Doubt it.
Kooper: But my dad did research on him! He can enter dreams and he caused me to figure out that I have a brother!
Meanwhile Dimentio walks into Vincent’s old room to find Bob.
Dimentio: Oh crud, it’s you again. I knew there was a reason I had to come. Why am I here?!
Bob: Bleck got that painting from Don Pianta.
Dimentio: But it’s just a painting of black.
Bob: He wanted to save you from yourself so he painted funny mustaches on everyone in it for fun. But then he messed up and just painted all over it.
Dimentio: Crud. Then tell me what it was a painting of!
Bob: The good news is Don Pianta sent a digital copy! Here!
In the photo there is a guy that resembles Dimentio in an overcoat, looking terribly beat up and dead. Over him is a banner that says “Diamond City High School Homecoming”. There’s a clock visible that says 8:12.
Bob: So is that you?
Dimentio: I guess.
Bob: Does that mean you’ll die?
Dimentio: I guess.
Bob: Is that all you can say?
Dimentio: I guess.
Bob: Well as you can see it’s in Diamond City, and it’s tonight. I made a few calls to help!
Dimentio: Thanks… But who ARE you?!
Bob: Um, bye!
Bob leaves. Meanwhile Kamek is still at the booth when his phone rings. He answers.
Kamek: *Kamek noises*
Guy on the other end: I can’t understand you.
Kamek: You’re not Yoshi! Wait, you’re that Dimentio guy! Well, uh, Yoshi’s messing with time right now. May I take a message?
Dimentio: Get to Diamond City High School!
Kamek: I’m in Shroom City from Mario Party Advance. Is that close?
Dimentio: … No. I’ll get on a flight and see you there.
Kamek hangs up.
Kamek: Now to find Yoshi.
Meanwhile in that lobby room with Vincent’s paintings, Gadd is looking at a painting of a guy on fire. He angrily enters the room with Vincent. He’s passed out.
Gadd: Well that was all for nothing!
Vivian: Well we can’t decide what he paints, smart one!
Gadd: Oh. He’ll just have to do another when he wakes up.
Vivian: Not again!
Gadd shows pictures of people that are dead (similar to how Goombella was, which I refuse to describe), including Shy Girl’s dad.
Vivian: Oh my DAD.
Gadd: King Boo wants to add Mimi to this collection! And once he kills off everyone he wants, he’ll then start collecting key chains! Then who knows what’s next?!
Vivian: Oh my. But I don’t think Vincent can do anything any more!
Gadd: Fine then go to the school, wait for King Boo to show up, have people tranquilize him, and I’ll keep Mimi at home.
Vivian: Okay.
Meanwhile…
Boshi: What do you think that talking suitcase meant about the new principal and the Kool-Aid man getting rid of the old one?
Mimi: Probably nothing important. Anyway I wonder how I won.
Boshi: Well the popular people voted for Mona, and the unpopular people voted for you! And due to the sad fact of Modern School Social Status, you won by a landslide!
Mimi: … Great…
Boshi: And I campaigned for you!
Mimi: Okay.
They go to a locker and he pulls out a copy of Dimentio’s book: Starting Evolution.
Boshi: There’s a chapter about the ability that you seem to have in here! Take it!
Mona appears.
Mona: Congratulations.
Mimi: I know you’re faking it.
Mona: Okay. Is this the freak who’d do anything for cookies?
Boshi: …
Mona does an evil laugh, then Mimi pimp-slaps her, knocking her over. Wow, Mona’s a wimp.
Boshi: Awww, and I already had an egg ready! Oh what the hey?
Boshi starts throwing eggs at Mona and eats her, thus trapping her in an egg. He gives her to the football players for practice. Later, Mimi is whining to her parents.
Mimi: Insert generic teen complaints here!
Two Shy Guys with hardhats come into the living room both holding the words “It’s not fair, Oh my DAD no, are you TRYING to ruin my life” on a big block of wood.
Shy Guy 1: Yeah, did someone order the Generic Teen Complaint?
Gadd: Right here, gentlemen.
Shy Guy 2: We’re gonna need some elevation.
Cackletta goes into the kitchen and brings out two chairs. The two Shy Guys get up on the chair and carefully maneuver the wood above Mimi’s head and drop it onto her. It goes into her head as if some spiritual energy. Gadd pays the Shy Guys and they leave.
Cackletta: That never happens any other time someone says to insert something.
Gadd: You know better then to punch another student!
Mimi: I slapped her! And then she just fell over!
Gadd: Wow, she is such a wimp. But still! You’re not leaving the house!
Mimi: Fine.
She goes upstairs. Meanwhile Shroob is waiting at a bus station and Tatanga appears.
Tatanga: Hey! I was really scared when you tried to leave! Scared I’d get sued, but I guess a little for losing you.
Shroob: Oh, like when you left us?
Tatanga: Well EXCUSE me!
Shroob: Anyway, Mom needs help!
Tatanga: No she doesn’t!
Shroob: Yes she does!
Tatanga: No she doesn’t!
Shroob: Yes she does!
Hobo: DO YOU GUYS MIND?! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!
He goes back to sleep.
Shroob: I know she’s different, I’m not an idiot! After you left, sometimes Mom would be there, but she wouldn’t be herself.
Tatanga: As in?
Shroob: She’d be Princess Shroob.
Tatanga: What’s the difference?
Shroob: As in her sister.
Tatanga: Oh. Does she know about this?
Shroob: Doubt it. Now can you help her?
Tatanga: Fine.
Meanwhile Kooper is holding Tyke’s photo and approaches a guy, and Kolorado follows him.
Kooper: Have you seen this Luma?
Koover: No.
Kooper turns the photo over.
Kooper: Have you seen this Pumpkin Pie?
Koover: No.
Kooper: Dang it.
Another guy runs up to Kooper.
Guy: I’ve seen both!
Kooper: Where’s the pie?
Guy: I ate it!
Kooper punches him.
Kooper: Okay, now where’s the Luma?
Guy: Over there.
Kooper: He’s in the Overthere?
Guy: No! I mean he’s a few meters away in that direction!
Kooper: Oh.
Kooper looks to find him fighting over a Star Bit against a yellow Luma and a red one. Kooper appears.
Kooper: Why were you in my dreams?
Tyke: What? You came to me! Not the other way around! People always want answers!
Kooper: Okay. What should I do with my life?
Tyke: You already know, you just don’t know it.
Kooper: I know what to do but I don’t know what to do?
Tyke: Yes.
Kooper: You just couldn’t help yourself.
Tyke: Nope.
He runs off. Meanwhile Kamek walks by the picture of Goombella and Yoshi and stops to stare at it. He grabs it and takes it over to a waitress.
Kamek: When was this taken?
Waitress: Six months ago.
Kamek: So you know this Yoshi?
Waitress: Yeah, they’re best friends!
Kamek: … Oookaay. Where is he now?
Waitress: I don’t know.
Meanwhile Mimi is in her room reading the book from Boshi, and her cell phone rings. She finds a text message.
Boshi: THRO.
Mimi: WAT?
Boshi: IM THROWIN ROX. OPEN WINDO.
She opens it and Boshi climbs up a ladder.
Boshi: You took my cookie! Give it back!
Mimi: I ate it!
Boshi: Crud. Oh and I’m also here to bust you out.
Mimi: I’m grounded.
Boshi: They can ground queens?
Mimi: You do know I’m not literally a queen, right?
Boshi: Oh. But you have to go! You’ll die inside if you don’t! Just ask that guy!
The imaginary camera pans over to a creepy old man.
COM: I let being grounded keep me from being the quarterback. Now I have no life.
Mimi and Boshi: …
Meanwhile Dimentio enters the diner and Kamek comes up to him.
Kamek: Dimentio?
Dimentio: Yeah… You’re not Yoshi, are you?
Kamek: Do I look like one?
Dimentio: No.
Kamek: Then no. I’m his friend Kamek.
Dimentio: Ooh, picture! Let me see!
He swipes it.
Kamek: Yoshi went back in time six months to save that Goomba.
Dimentio: What happened?
Kamek: She died, with her head opened up.
Dimentio nearly throws up.
Kamek: Yoshi thinks this was also the guy who will kill the transforming spider thingy. So he went back in time.
Dimentio: I think I can stop this guy!
Kamek: What, you have a power too?
Dimentio: Sort of.
Kamek: Can you eat cookies with amazing skill?
Dimentio: No, I absorb the super power of a close by super-powered person. But then when I’m alone I can’t do anything.
Kamek: … No fair, you got the good power!
Meanwhile, Cackletta is reading a Nintendo Power in her chair and holding Captain Gill’s fishbowl. Gadd marches in angry.
Captain Gills: Don’t get mad, get Glad. Oh wait, I’m not supposed to talk.
Gadd: Mimi escaped!
Cackletta: Oh yeah, she and Boshi snuck out.
Gadd: And you let her go?!
Cackletta: Oh yeah.
Gadd: Oh. But why?
Cackletta: How many times were you elected homecoming queen?
Gadd: Um, zero! I’m a guy!
Cackletta: Homecoming King then!
Gadd: Still zero. I wasn’t involved with that scene in school.
Cackletta: … The point is that this sort of thing only happens once!
Gadd: You’ve ruined her life! Or what’s left.
Meanwhile Kooper is sleeping at his desk and wakes to find Tyke. He chases him out the door and they’re back inside the store. He sees Kolorado talking to Kooper’s dad, saying the same sorts of things he’s said to Kooper today and saying he’s crazy. Suddenly Kooper is watching his dad work in the office with a younger Kooper nearby with a book.
Younger Kooper: I read this book. It’s awesome!
Kooper’s Dad: I never said to read this! And you can’t be involved!
Younger Kooper: No fair.
Kooper’s younger self is forced to leave. Kooper turns to find Tyke in the doorway. He then wakes up to find an option on the computer. It asks if he’s sure he wants to quit. He picks “no” and now has to enter a password. He tries different things until he finds a picture of his brother.
Kooper: Of course.
He types in “Koops”. He then finds on the computer a list of evolved people with their names and locations.
Kooper: 0_0
Meanwhile Dimentio is in his new overcoat looking for Mimi in her school. The banner says “Mona is a hero. But she’s still weak since she fell over when she was pimp-slapped.”
Dimentio: Wow, that is a real sign of weakness there.
Mimi appears and bumps into Dimentio.
Dimentio: HOW DARE YOU BUMP INTO ME?!
Mimi: Stop whining.
Dimentio: Fair enough. Have you heard of Mona? From the WarioWare series?
Mimi: Yeah, she’ll be on the field soon. You know she’s not really that good.
Dimentio: Uh, HELLO! She saved McBallyhoo from a fire! Oh well, good for you is the fact that life is a lot better after high school (not).
Outside the school, he walks around and notices the banner from the painting as well as the clock. It’s 7:59. Oh wait, now it’s 8:00.
Inside the school another guy in an overcoat is there. It’s unzipped, but he’s hiding himself by pulling one side of the coat over his face. You’ll see he has no body, and he’s still wearing that Link hat.
???: Okay, that guy should be here with my crown sooner or later. Oh well. I’m starting to accept this hat. Maybe I should open up a hat store when I’m done.
Meanwhile, Mimi and Mona are left alone in a room.
Mimi: Why do you look so terrible? It was just a slap!
Mona: Oh, your freaky friend egged me, then trapped me in one and gave me to the team for practice. Why did you have to almost kill Wart, then become the homecoming queen instead of me?
Mimi: I don’t know, the author’s just going by what happened in the show.
Mona: Oh. I hate you.
Mimi: I know. But I hate you more! I’m the one who rescued McBallyhoo, you hog!
Meanwhile in Toad Town, a Lil’ Oink suddenly stops eating and looks up.
Lil’ Oink: Hey! I resent that!
Back in the school…
Mimi: I have a tape and I’ll prove it!
Mona: Oh no you won’t!
Mimi: Oh yes I will!
Mona: Nuh-uh!
Mimi: Uh-huh!
Mona: Nuh-uh!
The lights then go out.
Both: (Oh no, I’m scared of the dark! Better not give that away.)
A shadow comes up to them. On the football field, Gadd looks around and trips over a guy.
P.T.: Ow!
Gadd: Sorry. Wait, isn’t there supposed to be another one of you?
Kool-Aid Man: We kicked him out. He had too many principles.
Meanwhile Dimentio gets to the bottom of the steps in the amphitheater.
Dimentio: (I hope they serve chicken here somewhere.)
Back with Mimi…
Mimi: Hello?
Mona: No one’s there, you green moron! I’m leaving.
Mimi: Fine, just not that way. I have a bad vibe.
Mona: Are you messing with the Vibe Scepter again?
Mimi: How does everyone know this?! But for real!
Mona: Sure, whatever.
The guy then appears and grabs Mona by the throat and slams her against the locker. His sleeve falls down to reveal a small, white arm with a watch. It says 11:53.
Mimi: (How does that watch stay on? It’s much bigger than his arm.)
Mimi materializes a rubee and throws it at the dude’s legs, but it just flies through since he doesn’t have any, as if he’s floating. He looks over, and that immediately causes Mimi to fall over.
???: Wow, that Stare of Doom sure is coming along!
Mona screams and Gadd hears it.
Gadd: Oh crud!
Dimentio also hears it.
Dimentio: Oh no! Some poor girl may be getting deprived of chicken!
In the room, he places his hand on Mona’s head. It’s just a white point. He draws a few lines and Vim starts leaking out.
Mimi: Ew.
After a bit, more Vim leaks and Mona starts disappearing.
Mimi: Weird.
Mona: … Why are you just standing and watching my Game Over?! Run away, you idiot!
Mimi: Oh yeah.
??? drops Mona and “walks” over to Mimi.
Mimi: Aw dang it.
Mimi runs away and ??? looks over to Mona. In a hallway, Mimi runs up to Dimentio.
Dimentio: Are you all right?! Don’t worry, we’ll get that evil man and make him give us the chicken we deserve!
Mimi: … Chicken?! I just saw my enemy get murdered!
The weird guy appears to be watching them.
Dimentio: Okay, now run along.
She does. The guy flicks his hand, and lockers come flying towards Dimentio. But he runs towards him and dodges them like bullets in the Matrix. He then decides to just run away.
Dimentio: (Running from the enemy will make me not as cool! Oh well, this overcoat makes up for it.)
Meanwhile Gadd runs into the room to find Mona’s body.
Gadd: Ew.
He then leaves, seeing it’s not Mimi. Meanwhile Dimentio and Mimi are running to the top of the amphitheater, followed by the guy.
Mimi: Who is this guy?!
Dimentio: Don’t care! Just get something that will make sure he’s seen! Don’t worry about me!
Mimi leaves.
Dimentio: … Doesn’t she ever watch movies?! I said not to worry about me so she would! Some people…
???: Yeah, I know. Mind if I kill you now?
Dimentio: Okay.
He grabs Dimentio and they fall over the railing.
???: NO! I CAN’T DIE! I’M TOO YOUNG!
Dimentio: You just killed a cheerleader! I would think age doesn’t matter to you!
???: Oh yeah.
They land, Dimentio all beat up like in the painting, and ??? face-down nearby. The banner is seen and it’s very Vimmy. It’s 8:11. On the field, Gadd is looking for Mimi.
Gadd: Dang it, where is that hotdog guy?!
Or not. Back with Dimentio, ??? has left. Mimi comes out of a building and sees Dimentio.
Mimi: Wow, he’s dead.
Dimentio wakes up and gets up, instantly healing like Mimi does.
Dimentio: Sweet!
Mimi: 0_0
Dimentio: Get the police, you fool!
Mimi: First, who are you?
Dimentio: Dimentio. And I know you’re Mimi.
Mimi: How?
Dimentio: I read the script. Say, are you also a transforming spider thingy?
Mimi: Yes.
Gadd appears.
Mimi: Dad!
Gadd: Dang it, you’re not the hotdog guy! Wait, you’re Mimi! You okay?
Mimi: Well this guy killed Mona, but I think he was going for me. And Dimentio here saved me!
Meanwhile ??? goes up a hill and Vivian is on the top. He reaches her.
Vivian: You don’t want to harm me.
???: I don’t want to harm you.
Vivian: You want to talk about yourself-
???: When I was nine, I accidentally killed a puppy, then when I was 12 I ate my first pie, then-
Vivian: I meant important stuff! But first you want to go to sleep.
???: Okey-dokey.
Meanwhile the police find Dimentio.
Police Chief: There he is! Get him!
Dimentio: NO! You want the other trench coat-wearing guy.
Two police appear dragging P.T.
Policeman 1: This the guy?
P.T.: Please say yes!
Chief: No, the guy wasn’t a human. (to P.T.) You’re free to go.
P.T.: Crud! Now I’ll never get to see if the rumors about free ice cream in jail are true! Thanks a lot, nature!
P.T. storms away. Meanwhile Kooper is packing things into a box and his mom comes in.
Kooper’s Mom: So you’re going to find these people and tell them everything?
Kooper: Yes.
Meanwhile Tatanga and Shroob walk up to a car outside a Gritzy Desert restaurant.
Tatanga: That place stunk!
Meanwhile Princess Shroob (still in the form of the older sister) aims her Mini Bill Blaster from a location across the street. She fires it. Meanwhile the waitress is pouring coffee into Kamek’s cup. He drinks it.
Kamek: Ew! Hoolumbian!
He takes another drink.
Kamek: Oh, I get it: it’s an acquired taste.
Suddenly Kamek is replaced by Yoshi and the waitress is replaced by Goombella.
Yoshi: Hi! I’m Yoshi! I’ll save you!
Police Boo 2: Goombella, get over here and blow the freaking candles out already!
Goombella: Hold that thought, dinosaur.
They both go over and the
scene in the picture is made.
Chapter 10: A Few Months Ago
It’s sort of a recap or origin explanation chapter if I’m correct, so get over it!
Kooper is looking at his computer screen, and it’s asking if he wants to quit. Dimentio’s on that roof. Elder* is firing from her Mini Bill Blaster. Future Yoshi is talking to Dimentio.
(*We’ll call Princess Shroob, “Elder” whenever she’s in this form.)
Future Yoshi: So you know the drill: Save the transforming spider thingy, save the world.
Yoshi is being questioned by the Rex detective in Vincent’s room as the explosion happens. Dimentio and Mimi are running from the guy.
Dimentio: Don’t care! Just get something that will make sure he’s seen! Don’t worry about me!
Mimi leaves.
Dimentio: … Doesn’t she ever watch movies?! I said not to worry about me so she would! Some people…
Dimentio and the killer proceed to fall off in their struggle.
… Meanwhile, Yoshi is back in time with Goombella during the scene on that picture. A watch shop in Mushroom City is now where we’re at, and the words that make up the chapter name appear on a title card. Inside a Boo is messing with a watch and a Koopa enters.
Koopley: Um… Does your character have an original name?
Boo: Um, actually no. Just call me King Bee.
Koopley: Why?
Boo: The readers will know soon. Or not.
Koopley: Okay, “King Bee”. I need your help.
King Bee: Everyone does. NOW LET ME FIX YOUR WATCH OR ELSE! … I just know that it’s broken.
Koopley hands it over and sees a complicated watch.
Koopley: Ooh, shiny!
King Bee: Yeah, I got the inside parts from Gusty Gulch.
Koopley: I don’t care, I just like that it’s shiny! Anyway, I need you to help me. Something involving people with super powers.
He gives King Bee a copy of Starting Evolution and leaves. He seems to have forgotten that he gave his watch to King Bee. Meanwhile Toad is on a bridge in Toad Town when he stops a car that’s being driven by Vivian.
Toad: Give me your license and registration! … Or else.
Vivian: It’s not my car!
Toad: You stole a car?!
Vivian: I was drunk!
Toad: Drunk driving?! That’s it, out of the car!
Vivian: But I don’t wanna!
Toad: Too bad.
Vivian: Oh just go back to your car and eat your donuts!
Toad: … I’m diabetic.
Vivian: Oh… This is awkward.
Toad: Get out!
Vivian: … These aren’t the droids you’re looking for- Er, I mean, you want to go back to your car and listen to the radio contest.
Toad: I want to go back to my car and listen to the radio contest.
She watches Toad leave, and turns back to find The Shadow in front of her car.
Vivian: Bouldergeist? Did you lose weight?
The Shadow: Oh, you know my cousin? I’m Bogmire.
Meanwhile, Mona enters Mimi’s bedroom.
Mona: Hi, Mimi! Marilyn got kicked off the team, so now you can be on it!
Mimi: Okay.
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
Mimi: AAAH! IT’S THE FREAK! GET AWAY FROM ME!
She punches the Kool-Aid Man and breaks her “hand” on him, and it’s cut up. There’s a hole in him and Kool-Aid starts leaking out.
Kool-Aid Man: I’M BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING!
He jumps out the window and shatters. Outside…
P.T.: Hey! A talking puddle of Kool-Aid!
Kool-Aid Man: Wait! If you spare me, I’ll… uh… not die! Now get me a container until I can find a new jug!
P.T. pulls out a bottle and puts him in. He then gets in a car and puts the jar of Kool-Aid in the passenger’s seat.
Kool-Aid Man: Where you going?
P.T.: I got a job as a principal in Gritzy Desert!
Kool-Aid Man: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
The car then drives off into the sunset and cheesy music starts playing.
Gadd: Hey! My car!
Enough of this filler, now back to the important stuff!
Mona: Oh crud! Are you okay?
They go downstairs and Mona leaves. Cackletta tries to mop up the vim.
Cackletta: Okay, this will stop the vim, but not heal the cut. How’d this happen?
Mimi: I punched the freak.
Cackletta: The freak made of glass that keeps following you?
Mimi: As he would say, “Oh yeah”.
Cackletta: … I can’t believe I wasted good money on that joke book. We’re going to the E. R. Elvin get the phone.
Gadd: *sniff* A crazy guy stole my car.
Cackletta: Just answer the phone.
Cackletta and Mimi go to the hospital.
Gadd: *sniff* Hello?
Koopley (on the other side): Hey Mr. Gadd. I need to- Are you okay?
Gadd: *sniff* Someone took my car! … WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Koopley (on the other end): Get over it. Anyway I need to speak to you about Mimi.
Meanwhile, Yoshi is talking to Goombella. Yoshi is from the future while everything else is the same.
Yoshi: I from future! Save you!
Goombella: Riiiight…
Yoshi: Do not work tomorrow! It, uh, rain?
Goombella: It’s Zapril. Of course there’s rain.
Yoshi: … October is Bootober, November is Sploonkinpie, but April is Zapril?
Goombella: Yes. And it’s “Splunkinpie”.
Yoshi: Wait, it Bootober!
Goombella: No, it’s Zapril 14th. Which would be my birthday.
Yoshi: Oh no! I go too far back! But trying again is risky.
Meanwhile, Princess Shroob is at a podium in a room.
Princess Shroob: Hi, I’m Princess Shroob and I’m addicted to Poison Shroom Shakes.
Crowd: Hi, Princess Shroob.
Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody!
Crowd and Princess Shroob: Hi, Dr. Nick.
The crowd and Dr. Nick then focus on Princess Shroob again.
Princess Shroob: Um, today is the one-year anniversary of my most recent Poison Shroom Shake.
Dry Bones (in audience): No one cares! Not even me, your friend!
Princess Shroob: I have long hours, my son is flunking, my husband can’t find a job, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl has been delayed. And I still decided not to.
She then sees a Shroobsworth in the back, and is angry.
Princess Shroob: No, I just stubbed my toe on this podium.
After the meeting…
Princess Shroob: Why are you here? And why do you look exactly like Tatanga’s dad?
Shroobsworth: There aren’t that many old aliens. And what, I’m not allowed to be with my daughter?
Princess Shroob: You weren’t there before when I needed you!
Shroobsworth: I was lazy!
Meanwhile in Dimentio’s apartment, he goes through a crowd to open the door. Outside is Bleck, Tippi, and Dimentio’s Mom.
Dimentio: Hi, Mom! Hi, Bleck! Hi, uh… Who are you?
Tippi: You should know this! I’ve been married to him for a while now!
Dimentio: Whatever.
Bleck: Tippi and I-
Dimentio: That’s it!
Bleck: … Tippi and I-
Dimentio: I don’t know why I keep forgetting.
Bleck: … Tippi and I-
Dimentio: Sorry about that.
Bleck: … … … Tippi and I helped your mom find you a present since you’re now a doctor.
Dimentio opens a box and finds a Scrubs Seasons 1-6 DVD.
Dimentio: Happies!
Dimentio’s Mom: Now let us in or you’re grounded.
Dimentio: You can’t ground me! I’m an adult!
Dimentio’s Mom: Oooone…
Dimentio: Okay, you can come in.
Bleck and Tippi come in and Dimentio’s Mom talks to her son.
Dimentio’s Mom: Your dad said that he’s proud of you.
Dimentio: I would assume. Where is he again?
Dimentio’s Mom: He said he was visiting Don Pianta in Rogueport.
Later Dimentio and Bleck are talking, and Tippi comes up.
Tippi: Dimentio, why are they serving chicken?
Dimentio: I like chicken.
Tippi: What’s your specialty going to be?
Dimentio: I’m going to help dying people!
Tippi: … Great…
She flies away.
Bleck: So I have to prosecute Don Pianta, which will, in the end, ruin your dad.
Dimentio: Aww…
Bleck and Tippi then start dancing. Meanwhile, Koopley is pinning a picture of Bleck on a map. King Bee enters.
King Bee: Hello Mister… What’s your last name?
Koopley: Don’t have one.
King Bee: Oh. I read the book and want to know if I have any of these super powers.
Koopley: Okay. Now I will run some tests involving your brain.
King Bee: … Oh great…
Meanwhile in the Dunder Mifflin in Diamond City, Vivian is on a table with tape over her mouth and across from her is Gadd, who is reading a folder. The Shadow is staring at her.
The Shadow: There’s food on her forehead.
Gadd: Wow, you’ve done lots of bad stuff. I think you need a purpose.
He removes the tape.
Vivian: Finally! I was choking! I don’t have a nose, so I could only breathe through my mouth, but then you put the tape on my mouth and I couldn’t breathe, but now I’m fine.
Gadd: … Delightful. Your power won’t work on me, with my friend The Shadow.
The Shadow: Too late, old man! She already knows me as Bogmire!
Gadd: Make her forget that she knows your true name!
The Shadow: Why?! How would it even make a difference to you?!
Gadd: Silence, nonbeliever!
The Shadow: Fine.
He does. Meanwhile in the diner, Yoshi is on a payphone.
Yoshi: Transfer me to Kamek!
Soon on Yoshi’s Island in the Dunder Mifflin branch there, Yoshi from a few months ago picks up the phone.
Yoshi from a few months ago: Hah! Yoshi! Woooow! Ba-ding HAP! (Sorry, but Kamek’s out sick today. I’m Yoshi, how can I help you?)
Yoshi slams the phone down.
Yoshi: Clud! I mean crud! … Wait! I could tell past-me stuff I know now!
Meanwhile, Diddy pulls up in a police car next to Toad, who’s just staring out the window and listening to the radio.
Diddy: What are you doing?
Toad snaps out of it.
Toad: Huh?
Diddy: Go take your detective test!
Toad: Okay.
Diddy: Why are you listening to the radio? Isn’t that supposed to be for listening to people?
Toad: Oh yeah.
Meanwhile Yoshi is clearing tables and Goombella walks over to him.
Yoshi: I have present!
He gives her a Yoshinese Phrase Book.
Goombella: Thanks. I guess.
She takes it and reads some of it out loud.
Goombella: Hah! Yoshi! Yoshi! *SMW yoshi noise* (I wanted an updated Tattle Log, but okay.)
Yoshi: … Anyway, you have strong power! Stronger later! Power o’ memory! I know! I from future!
Goombella: Oh yeah…
DING!
Waitress: ORDER’S UP!
Goombella: Okay.
Goombella turns back to tell Yoshi she’ll be back in a minute to find he’s holding an ice cream cone.
Goombella: The ice cream truck is across the street! How’d you go so fast?
Yoshi: I stop time!
Goombella: Like a magician?
Yoshi: No! Power! Tomorrow… plumber will slay Koopa! Now let me eat!
Goombella: ?
Meanwhile in a graveyard in Gritzy Desert, Princess Shroob is at a grave. Here’s what’s carved on its stone:
R. I. P.
ELDER PRINCESS SHROOB
BELOVED DAUGHTER AND SISTER
AND FINAL BOSS AND INGAME MONARCH AND ALIEN AND CHARACTER AND ONE-TIMER
AND I SHOULD REALLY APPLY COMMAS OR AT LEAST BREAK THESE INTO SENTANCES.
Tatanga appears.
Tatanga: Spending time with your big sis?
Princess Shroob: Yeah. Then I’m going to spend time with that grave over there. Then maybe that one with the Dry Bones arm sticking out. My dad wants to meet you and Shroob.
Tatanga: Okay.
Meanwhile, Bleck is driving a sweet black car with Tippi in the passenger’s seat.
Bleck: So Menti’s a doctor.
Tippi: Yep.
A car pulls up behind them and it looks like it’s after them.
Bleck: What?
It then bumps Bleck’s car.
Bleck: Hey!
Bleck starts floating.
Bleck: Oh well. I could do it in Super Paper Mario, but maybe I should panic for the plot’s sake.
Tippi then sees that the car she’s in is headed for a barricade.
Tippi: Oh dang it.
The car crashes into some barrels that DK is rolling across the street.
DK: I knew today would be a bad day to get in touch with my old self.
Bleck then falls. Meanwhile Dimentio wakes up in his bed with his hand reaching up. He answers the phone that’s ringing. Later Dimentio is in a hospital room with Bleck moping.
Bleck: WAAAH! SHE’S BEEN IN SURGERY FOR- How long?
Dimentio: 10 minutes.
Bleck: TEN MINUTES!
Dimentio: Dude, calm down.
Bleck: Okay. They said something about her spine or something. Let me see your phone, my kids are with your mom.
He takes the phone and dials.
Dimentio: Weren’t you in the wreck too?
Bleck: Nah, I somehow got away.
Dimentio: We should focus on that cut on your forehead.
Bleck: But I have to know about Tippi! Hey, there’s no signal on this thing! I thought you bought a Razor from Chad!
Dimentio: This was a gift from my mom! Anyway, what do you know about the other car?
Bleck: I never told you about that.
Dimentio: It was in a dream.
Bleck: Oookay. It was some of Don’s Piantas.
Surgeon Shy Guy: Mr. Bleck? Mr. Bleck? Mr. Bleck? Mr-
Bleck: Stop repeating!
SSG: Sorry.
He talks to Bleck, and it apparently doesn’t end well.
Meanwhile Yoshi enters the diner with both his hands in the air.
Yoshi: It happen!
Goombella reads Yoshi’s Yoshinese newspaper.
Goombella: (translating) Today the Yellow Switch Palace Plumbers beat the Yoshi’s Island 2 Koopas by five runs.
Yoshi: See! You have memory! I have power!
Goombella: It’s just baseball. That proves nothing!
Yoshi: Yoshinese tradition say if you lay 1,000 eggs you get wish!
Goombella: Yeah?
He focuses and there are suddenly tons of eggs on the ground near them.
Goombella: Wow.
He gives her a plane ticket.
Yoshi: Just take this and be safe! Char-actor should last longer than did!
Goombella: “Character”. This is a ticket to Yoshi’s Island? Okay. I’ll do it!
Meanwhile King Bee is hooked up to a bunch of machines and whatnot.
Koopley: Why do you fix watches?
King Bee: Family tradition.
Koopley: Like how Sea Koopas get Game Overs on the beach they’re on and Piders eat their kids.
King Bee: If they do that, how are there even Piders left?
Koopley: They don’t all do it!
He turns the machine off.
Koopley: Well you’re normal. At least as normal as a Boo can be. We’ll do some more tests tomorrow.
King Bee: But I want to keep going!
Koopley: There are other people!
King Bee goes and rips sticky notes off of the map.
King Bee: Goomba Goomberson might be telekinetic? Shy Girl can… there’s a stain. Anyway, you’re just gonna throw them to the side?
Koopley: Just go home.
Outside the apartment, he finds he still has the sticky notes. Meanwhile a cab pulls up and Gadd gets out. Meanwhile Shroobsworth enters Princess Shroob’s house with a box.
Shroobsworth: Hey, anyone want this laptop? I found it in a dumpster.
Shroob walks by and snatches it. The adults then have dinner.
Princess Shroob: You know, I wish we could get a better school for Shroob.
Tatanga: And I want a better robot walker!
Shroobsworth enters Shroob’s room to find that he has taken apart the laptop and is messing with all the gizmos inside.
Shroobsworth: RRAAAA!!!
Shroobs: AAH! I’M SORRY!
Shroobsworth: No, I just subbed my toe.
Why is it that everyone in this family stubs their toe and gets mad so often?
Shroobsworth: Because.
Princess Shroob and Tatanga enter. Shroobsworth gives his daughter a check and leaves.
Tatanga: Why’d he pay you?
Princess Shroob: We made a bet. Long story.
Princess Shroob sees her reflection and it changes a little. Meanwhile Gadd is talking to Koopley in his apartment.
Gadd: So is this “super power” going to affect Mimi?
Koopley: I don’t know. My son Koops had one-
Gadd: I don’t want to hear your life story, Koopley!
Koopley: … Do you think I might meet your daughter?
Gadd: Maybe, if nothing comes up.
Meanwhile Shroobsworth is reading in an apartment and Princess Shroob enters. She looks a tiny bit more monstrous, but not enough for anyone to notice.
Shroobsworth: Hey, ever hear of knocking?!
Princess Shroob: I don’t know, I don’t have ears. Come to think of it, how do we hear anything?
Shroobsworth: What?
Princess Shroob: I said, “HOW DO WE HEAR WITHOUT EARS”?
Shroobsworth: What?
Princess Shroob: What?
Later, Princess Shroob just gives up and accepts the fact that they can hear. She then throws a purple star at Shroobsworth.
Shroobsworth: Ow! Princess, why’d you do that?
Princess Shroob: I’m not Princess Shroob! I’m Princess Shroob!
Shroobsworth: … What’s the difference?
Princess Shroob: The older one.
Shroobsworth: Oh… Wait, what?
Princess Shroob: You freaking killed me! Now I want revenge!
Shroobsworth: Are you a Boo possessing her?
Princess Shroob: I don’t know, we’re all just going by the TV show.
She then starts beating her dad up.
Shroobsworth: Ow! It was an accident!
Princess Shroob: Accidentally killing your child?
Shroobsworth: … Let me get back to you on that.
She then folds the check into a paper airplane and throws it at his eye and leaves.
Shroobsworth: Ow. Why didn’t I just get out of the way?
Meanwhile…
Gadd: Here.
He throws a teddy bear at her.
Mimi: Ow.
Meanwhile, Toad enters his house.
Toadette: Hi, Toad.
Toad: Guess what? I failed!
Toadette: Honey, don’t worry… I’m used to you failing.
Toad: … How reassuring…
Toadette: (I’m hungry.)
Toad: You always are.
Toadette: ?
Meanwhile, Dimentio is adjusting his hat as Bleck enters.
Bleck: Hurry up, Menti!
Dimentio: Hold on! Top hats and jester hats are different! You can’t just put it on! It has to be on right, yet at a silly angle! Always!
Bleck: Oh, and your dad died.
Dimentio: … That stinks.
Meanwhile Goombella is in the diner, sad. Yoshi runs in and is happy.
Yoshi: Film festival tonight!
Goombella: Dude, that’s miles away.
Yoshi: We fine! Then we go to Island!
Goombella: By the way, I’m dying.
Yoshi: 0_0
Goombella: Yeah, some brain thing.
Yoshi: … This the kind of thing I should know!
Suddenly Yoshi is in the middle of a park surrounded by Yoshis and other creatures working out.
Yellow Yoshi: Yoshi! Owowowow! Waah! (Yoshi, aren’t you taking a vacation to the Mushroom Kingdom with Kamek?)
Yoshi: Waah! (Oh no! I’m in present! Goombella died!)
Meanwhile, a few months ago, King Bee is seen in his watch shop. Goomba Goomberson enters.
Goomba Goomberson: Hi, I’m Goomba Goomberson!
King Bee: Hi, I’m King Boo.
A milkshake starts sliding across the table towards Goomba.
Goomba: You can make this stop, right? You know, if I ever decide I want to stop it.
King Boo: Sure... But you want it to stop, right?
Goomba: No, I’m good.
King Boo: … You will get it removed.
Goomba: Okay.
King Boo: My cousin, Ralph, will take the first step for both of us.
A Bomb Boo appears and explodes, knocking out Goomba.
King Boo: Thank you, Ralph.
Ralph: You’d better pay me for this!
King Boo: Fine, later!
Ralph: In potato chips!
King Boo: But I love them, too! … Fine!
Meanwhile The Shadow is still watching Gadd and Vivian.
Gadd: So now this’ll be a clean slate. Except for that spot that’s always there no matter how many times you try to scratch it off. Actually, one of Dunder Mifflin’s other branches is working on something like that in their spare time. But anyway, back to the original point.
Vivian: Yeah, whatever. What do I do?
Gadd: Remove the name “Mimi Gadd” from Koopley’s list of genetic thingies.
Vivian: Koopley who?
Gadd: No one knows, actually.
Meanwhile Koopley and King Boo are talking, and King Boo is playing with The Force. He accidentally flies a coffee mug full of coffee into the wall.
King Boo/King Bee: Sorry. What kind of coffee was it, anyway?
Koopley: Hoolumbian.
King Boo: Ugh, I hate that! In that case, I’m not sorry!
Meanwhile in Bootober (now), Kamek is still in the diner.
Kamek: (I wonder if I could ever be Spiderman’s sidekick…)
Yoshi then enters.
Kamek: Yoshi!
Yoshi: Kamek! I lose power!
Kamek: Zuh? You mean you just took a plane or something to get here?
Yoshi: Yes! I reappear in present on Island.
Kamek: That’d explain why it took you that long to get here.
Meanwhile Kooper’s looking at that character list. Meanwhile Goombella is dying like she did. Meanwhile, at the homecoming game…
Mimi: Dad, I have to tell you something… SSBB has been delayed.
Gadd: NOOOOOO!!!
At the amphitheater, Dimentio’s being taken away.
Dimentio: Oh yeah, arrest me JUST because I’m wearing an overcoat and the criminal was! Real smart!
Meanwhile, Vivian removes the killer’s Link hat to reveal that it’s King Boo!
Vivian: That would explain why he appeared to be floating under that, and why no attack to the legs would work.
Meanwhile Tatanga is getting out of the car, and he hears the Mini Bill Blaster being fired. Meanwhile Yoshi tapes one of the many Yoshi eggs to the picture of him and Goombella.
Yoshi: Waaah! Owowowowow!!! (I thought her character was supposed to live.)
Kamek: *Kamek noises*
Yoshi: Yoshi! Owowowowowow! (There, there. All we have to do is follow the show’s script.)
To Be Continued… Not!
Explanation:
King Bee = King B.
B stands for Boo.
King Boo.
Thus a clever alias is
born!