Kamek’s Music Box

By Joshua

December 1, 2007

Kamek entered his room in Castle Koopa. What a day, he thought. Cleaning up after and changing Bowser Jr, stopping Roy from killing Iggy and Larry, then announcing a Sports Hall battle and dealing with the infuriatingly taciturn Pokey had left him exhausted. He lay on his bed and pulled an old and slightly beaten and battered music box out of his drawer. He wound it up, and the familiar music began to play. It reminded him of his youth, and his love… With one last sigh, Kamek fell into a deep sleep. He began to dream about those long-lost days of his youth…
 

“Mr. Kamek, please stop daydreaming in my class,” the teacher said, as though exhausted.

“Huh?” the 14-year-old Kamek replied.

“All right, then. Why don’t you tell us how the Fire Flower allows fireballs to be shot from the fingers of the wielder?”

“Um…”

“I thought so. See me after class.”

“Aw man… Not again…”

“Yes again.”
 

“Kamek, Kamek, Kamek. This is the 9th time this week that I’ve caught you daydreaming. You need to pay attention. The final exam is in a month, and Fire Flowers will be a major part of it. If you can’t even say how their powers are given to someone, how can you hope to pass?”

“I don’t even really want to be a Magikoopa for the king. I want to be an artist!” Kamek showed his teacher some of his sketches.

“Hmm. These are indeed very impressive, but you don’t have a choice. King Morton’s law says that all Magikoopas must go into service at age 18. Tell me the truth, Kamek. What are you daydreaming about? And why?”

“That’s my business,” Kamek retorted. “… I’m sorry, sir. I just don’t like people asking about my private life.”

“… That’s fine. I understand.” Kamek left the room. “I see… A girl. Hmm.”
 

Kamek’s teacher, Mr. Monroe, was right. Kamek did have his mind on a girl. Just, not what he thought. Kamek’s mother was very sick, and it was unlikely that she’d make it.

“Come closer, my son,” she said weakly.

“Momma?”

“Go get Momma’s music box, Kamek.”

He did so.

“Son… Momma’s not gonna be around much longer. I want you to have my music box to remember me by. I’ve made arrangements for you to stay with King Morton for a while. He owes me a favor from a long time ago.”

“Please, Momma. Don’t die.”

“Sorry, Son, it’s just my time. I don’t have a choice.”
 

3 days later, Kamek’s mother died. He went to Castle Koopa, as his mother had said, and continued his schoolwork. Kamek worked harder than he ever had at school and aced the theory part of his final exam.

“Congratulations, Mr. Kamek! 100 percent! That just leaves the practical.”

“I’m not so strong on the practical. Could I get some lessons after school sometime?”

“I’ll teach you myself!”

Truth was, Kamek was exceptionally skilled at casting spells, he was just afraid of his new room, and the two twin brutish Sledge Bros.. he shared it with. Smash and Crush were dumb as dirt, but probably still capable of causing quakes that registered fairly high on the Richter scale. The pair’s faces were flat, mainly because they sparred regularly, half destroying their room in the process. They aspired to be King Morton’s personal bodyguards, and Kamek had to admit, with their strength, they were probably the best candidates. King Morton preferred his bodyguards to have brawn rather than brain.

He also knew that Kamula got extra practical tutoring after class, and recently, he’d found himself wanting to spend more time with her. She wore a purple robe and a tall, black hat, and preferred glasses to contact lenses, contrary to most Magikoopas in school. Her hat made her taller than Kamek, but in reality she was quite short, and her skin was naturally tanned. And, although she didn’t notice it, she was quite beautiful. She was talented, but she always said “Better safe than sorry!”, so she got her extra lessons from Mr. Monroe. Her catchphrase irritated him, but attracted him at the same time. 3 birds with 1 stone, he thought.

But the poor young Magikoopa had more problems than he realized…
 

“Little magic-man get beat up today?” Smash asked hopefully.

“Yes. How else do you think I got this black eye, moron?” Kamek snapped.

“Little magic-man askin’ for it!”

“Oh, shut up. I’m not in the mood.” Kamek had been getting beaten badly ever since his mother died, adding injury to injury, so to speak. Kamon was a Magikoopa/Sledge Bro hybrid, meaning he could cast powerful magic and beat the living daylights out of anyone stupid enough to pick a fight. In the opinion of the females, Kamon was rather desirable. Yeah, so was Rasputin, Kamek thought whenever he heard this.

“Little magic-man need any help?” Crush had entered the room. Weird, Kamek thought, Crush was never nice to him. “Crush and Smash go beat up Kamon! We smash and crush him good! WE only ones that beat up little magic-man!”

“YEAH!” Smash yelled.

Kamek rolled his eyes. Of course, he thought.
 

The next day, Smash and Crush went to Kamon’s place while Kamek and Kamula were at practice. They were going over the basics in a duel. But of course, the duel between Kamon and the Sledge Bros. wasn’t just for practice. It was a fight to the finish, for the right to be Kamek’s bully!

“You Kamon?” Smash asked.

“What of it, Slick?”

“Name’s Smash, no Slick.”

“So?”

“You no beat up Kamek no more. That our job. AND his mom just died. You go after him, we go after you,” Crush threatened.

“Ooh, scary. Bring it on, Slick.”

The fight began…
 

Kamek fired off 3 lightning bolts and hit 3 targets simultaneously.

“Y’know, Kamek, I don’t REALLY think you need my help.”

“Really? Sure that wasn’t just a fluke?”

“Oh, I bet you’re great, Kamek,” Kamula commented, giggling. Kamek went red. “And I bet you’re strong, too!” Kamek looked like his head would explode from embarrassment.

Mr. Monroe brought Kamek a weight. This’ll be fun, he thought.

Surprisingly, Kamek wasn’t bad. Weight-lifting’s not all about strength, it’s about technique, he thought.

Nevertheless, Kamula was most impressed. She shrieked, “I was right! I was right! You ARE strong!”

“I guess… Oh, and to answer your earlier point, sir, well, better safe than sorry!” Kamek grinned. Kamula chuckled. Mr. Monroe felt like punching the sneaky little Magikoopa.

The future looks bright, thought Kamek. Smash and Crush have probably pulverized Kamon by now, so I can finally relax at school… and occasionally flirt with Kamula… maybe. Well, for Kamek, things were about to take ANOTHER dramatic turn…
 

Smash and Crush had had their legs completely paralyzed. They would never fight again, but they could still launch a hammer into orbit like they used to. Kamek would now have to look after them.

“We sorry, Kamek,” Smash said regretfully.

“We let you down. We not realize how powerful bully Magikoopa was,” Crush agreed.

“This is my fault, guys. I should’ve stopped you, or at least warned you.”
 

And so, Kamek’s life began to settle. He got used to the almost daily beatings and bullying, and began a steady relationship with Kamula. He passed his final exam with flying colors, and eventually became Head Magikoopa of the Koopa Troop at age 19, the youngest Magikoopa to ever do so. He looked after Smash and Crush daily, they were his best friends. His mother’s music box was his most treasured possession and he forbade ANYONE from touching it. His life was ok, he commanded every Magikoopa including Kamon, so things weren’t that bad. For a while, anyway…
 

It had been 10 years since the events close to the final exams. This was 3 years before Yoshi’s Island, 2 years before the birth of Bowser. Kamek and Kamula were enjoying a stroll in the castle gardens, on their way to the metalwork shed, to fix a hinge on the music box. That is, before they were interrupted by Kamon. Kamula had left her baby with a Lakitu babysitter, and Smash and Crush were just practising their aim with their hammers nearby.

“You loser,” Kamon stated.

“Watch how you speak to your superior, Private.”

“Oh, please. Don’t give me that. You and I both know I’m better than you. And now, when I kill you, I’ll prove it and become Head Magikoopa! Then, I’ll marry the love of my life! Kamula! Please… I love you… Please, dump this fool and marry me!”

“Never! I love Kamek! I always have, and I always will.”

“Enough of this. Kamon, step away from me and my wife, or I’ll fire you and strip you of your wand and powers.”

“You loser… I’ve always hated you! You were always the best in the class! You always attracted Kamula’s attention! Something I could never do, no matter how hard I tried! YOU… PERISH… NOW!!!” roared Kamon, and a huge bolt of lightning erupted from his wand, directly at Kamek’s chest. Kamek tried to run, but he was shaking in fear, and couldn’t move.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUURGH!!!” The scream. It was high-pitched. and the present-day Kamek awoke with a start. He was in a cold sweat. The music had stopped. He drank deeply from a glass of icy cold water. He remembered what happened next…
 

The scream wasn’t Kamek, or Kamon. It was Kamula. She had taken the bolt in the chest for him, and now, she lay dying.

“What have I done?!” Kamon yelled in futility and dropped to his knees.

“Kammy! Please! Are you ok?” Kamek asked in desperation. Kammy had become his pet name for her.

“Kamek… My love… Please… Raise our daughter. She’ll become a great Magikoopa someday. Remember… I love you… I always have… and I always wi…l…l.”

Those were the words she spoke as she died. Kamek began to weep silently. He clutched his music box and Kamula tighter than he’d ever held anyone or anything before.

Kamon rose. “You! You made me kill the only thing I ever loved!” Kamon screamed again and fired the same bolt.

The defenseless Kamek was ready for the sweet embrace of death. Without Kamula, there’s no point in living, he thought, and closed his still weeping eyes. But, fate has a funny way of dealing justice. The magic that was in Kamula’s wand somehow connected with the music box and reflected right back into Kamon. He protected himself from most of the damage, but it was extremely painful.

“Third time’s… the charm! DIE!” But Kamon didn’t fire. He couldn’t. Because at that point he fell to the ground unconscious. At the last second, Smash had launched a well-placed hammer at his head. The Sledge Bros. had saved Kamek’s life.

“Heh, our aim better than we think!”

“We rule! We save Kamek! We told you we help you. Just didn’t realize it would be ten years before we could,” Crush exclaimed.

“Thanks, guys! You saved me. You really are my best friends…”

Kamek set his things down, hugged his disabled amigos tight, and walked over to Kamon. He brought him back to consciousness, put a stern look on his face, and said, “As for you, you SWINE! You killed my wife, the mother of my child! When I’m through with you, you’ll wish you were dead! First! I relieve you of you rank, wand and magic!” He did so. “Second! I will curse you. You will wander Plit forever as a lowly Goomba, periodically being hit by that cursed bolt you shot my wife with! That scene will always play throughout your mind! You will live to the end of time, I will make sure of that, but you will never forget. Finally… Boys, let’s pound ‘im for what he did to you…”

The huge Sledge Bros. unleashed a cyclone of large hammers, each knocking the injured hybrid like a ton of bricks. Kamek then proceeded to attack with a hammer of his own. “It’s… all… in the… technique!” he yelled as he swung.

Kamek’s curse did exactly what he said it would and he didn’t regret it for an instant. Kamek left the music box as it was now. It was a memento of his mother, and of Kamula.
 

Kamon was forced to wander Plit endlessly. Not even Mario’s jump in the future would kill him (deleted scene from SMB3). Smash and Crush lived on as normal. Kamek returned to the Lakitu, and realised that he had never named his daughter.

“Any idea at all, sir?”

“Just one. There is a name that will befit her. My daughter. The girl who will inherit my position of Head Magikoopa. Her name is… Kammy.”
 

Kammy entered the room.

“Dad! How are things?”

“Fine. I’m tired. How are Smash and Crush tonight?”

“Great! Say… Is that Grandma’s old music box?”

“Yes. I’ve never told you the story of this music box, how I met Smash and Crush, and how your mom died, have I?”

“Well… No.”

“Well then, I was 14…”

The End

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