The Amazing Race MK

By Giga Bowser NS

EPISODE 13: Destination: Toad Town
Title: I could only think of one thing… Run

Phil: Previously on: The Amazing Race MK:

Phil, replay: GO!!!

Phil: 11 teams set off from the beautiful Princess Peach’s Castle, to begin an epic race around the MK. The eleven teams were groups of two with a pre-existing relationship. Some were dating.

Yoshi: Come on, hon!

Phil: Some were married.

Toadette: Hurry up!

Phil: Some were family.

Mario: Luigi!

Phil: The expansive journey began with 11 teams, as they raced to all corners of the Mushroom Kingdom. There were many Detours along the way, as well as many Roadblocks. Teams, however, were confident and compelled to complete the race, for one million coins was at stake! Teams visited the freezing Shiver City and enjoyed a crazy sled ride.

Toadette: Woah!!!

Phil: Grodus & Lord Crump got lost both in and out of the sewers, sending them back 24 hours. They were eliminated. The next day, teams boarded a boat bound for the notorious Rogueport. Thieves and gangs proved to be troubling, but most teams surged ahead with little sacrifice. Goombella had trouble lifting boxes at the Roadblock, having no arms. She was forced to take a penalty.

Goombella: It’s too hard!

Phil: Soon after they were eliminated. After that, teams enjoyed a spectacular hot air balloon ride to the equally spectacular Glitzville. Wario and Waluigi slipped up.

Waluigi: WARIOOOOOOO!!!

Phil: And some teams had trouble defeating tough opponents in the Glitz Pit. Toad and Toadette had already fallen behind in the previous leg, and couldn’t catch up. They were in last place, but were saved by a non-elimination leg. The next leg directed teams to the first airport on their journey, the expansive MKA. Located there was the first Fast Forward, which Toad and Toadette took in order to combat their last place problems. They were in first place. Taking many various and sometimes delayed flights to Delfino Island proved troublesome. While most teams enjoyed a fun time in the sun at Delfino Plaza, Wario and Waluigi got on a very late flight. They were subsequently eliminated.

Wario: This is the stinkiest of all things that stink!

Phil: Teams had more Isle Delfino fun as they traveled to Pianta Village by helicopter. Most teams had a hair-raising experience traversing the treacherous Mushrooms below the village. One of the teams that opted not to do so got a jolt anyway as Bowser and Bowser Jr. were Yielded by Peach and Daisy. However, this was not enough to let Geno and Mallow catch up, as Mallow kept falling off the Mushrooms. They too were eliminated.

Mallow: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Phil: After that, almost every team was surprised to learn their next destination.

Diddy: Aren’t we gonna be, like…  incinerated?

Phil: Teams repelled into the depths of the famous Mount Corona. Everyone was sweating bullets as they were made to swim through the lava using Flare Mushrooms. After a difficult wrestling match against tough Piantas, King Boo and Boo fell behind. However, this leg was also a non-elimination leg, and they were saved elimination. The next leg was a breath of fresh air, as teams departed for Yoshi’s Tropical Island. Teams got to join in an actual Mario Party and had lots of fun.

Yoshi: Yahoo!!!

Phil: However, Peach and Daisy didn’t do so well. They were eliminated. Teams then traveled to the famous Sky Land. After some fun adventures on the ground, teams traveled up the Spiral Tower to the clouds.

Bowser: Aww, man!

Phil: Bowser and Bowser Jr. missed their chance to Yield the Mario Bros. However, it was DK and Diddy who couldn’t catch up. Unfortunately, they were eliminated. The next leg brought teams to the monotonous Grass Land. Confusion arose as no ne could tell one grassy hill from another.

Toad: Over here in delayedsville!

Phil: Toad and Toadette were trapped at the airport after making a bad decision for their flight. Ultimately, they were eliminated. After a quick stopover in Paintbrush City, teams experienced an emotional memorial at Bob-omb Battlefield. The tasks there were quite difficult, and threw Bowser and his son into last place. Having barely escaped elimination many times before, they were pleased to learn this was another non-elimination leg. After that, teams got a wave of nostalgia as they visited the famous Mushroom Plains, better known as “World 1-1”.

Bowser: That’s where Mario met his first Goomba!

Phil: The competition was fierce as everyone tried to avoid being the last team eliminated. Unfortunately, King Boo was a little too slow during the Detour. It came down to a close footrace, but King Boo and Boo ended up being the last team eliminated from the race. Three teams remained. One more leg in Dry Dry Desert took place, where Bowser and Jr. were saved by a non-elimination leg again. Now, these three teams are waiting to begin the final leg of the race. Mario and Luigi, Yoshi and Pink, and Bowser and Jr. Only one team will take home the million coins. Find out who…  tonight!

The opening theme plays, and it has been changed. It only shows the top 3, with clips of them performing tasks.

Phil: This, is Dry Dry Outpost! A sweltering hot settlement on the edge of the Dry Dry Desert. The famous Moustafa lives here, and this is his house, located elusively on the roofs. This: was the 12th and final pitstop…  in a race around the MK. The three teams waiting here have no idea what’s in store for them. One team will ultimately win one million coins, and they are all within minutes of each other. Mario and Luigi…  who were the first to arrive at 5:09 PM…  will depart…  at 5:09 AM

Mario: This is it, Luigi! The final leg!

Luigi: Open the dang clue already!

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Mario: Congratulations! You are in the final three! You have endured many hardships along your journey, but it is now coming to a close! You must now make your way back…  to where it all began!

Luigi: YEAH!

Phil: Teams must now cross Dry Dry Desert by ATV, then travel through this newly built tunnel at Mt. Rugged, until they reach this train station. They must then board a train bound for their final destination city: Toad Town. This town is where the race began many days ago. Teams will find their next clue at the train station.

Mario: Let’s-a go! TOAD TOWN, HERE WE COME!!!

Luigi: Everyone’s so close to each other! We’re all gonna be on the same train!

Mario: Yeah! Let’s go!

***Mario: It all comes down to this! We’re all so close to each other! The best team will come out on top!

Mario: Here’s that ATV! Let’s get going, already!

Luigi: Do you know where-

Mario: YES!!!

Luigi: Ugh…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
*riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi: Pink! We’re going back to Toad Town!

Pink: Really? Wow! What a perfect place to end the race!

Yoshi: We gotta catch a train…  And it looks like we’re all going to be on it!

Pink: Great, let’s go!

***Pink: I’m crazy with anticipation! The race is almost over!

***Yoshi: We’ve certainly come a long way!

Yoshi: Let’s go!

Pink: Yeee-haw!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
*riiiiiiiiip*

Bowser: You have 0 coins for this leg of the race!

Jr: What, you mean everyone?

Bowser: Yeah. The train is free!

Jr: We get to ride on the train! Cool!

***Bowser: We went from last to first and first to last. We just need to hope that trend continues and we’ll win the race!

***Jr: This is the final stand!

Bowser: Come on, Jr.! Get on the ATV!

Jr: We get to go through the desert?

Bowser: Yeah! And a tunnel through a mountain!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Wow! This tunnel looks so crazy!

Luigi: It goes right under that huge mountain?

Mario: Yep! Now we don’t have to cross Mt. Rugged!

They enter the tunnel.

Both: Woah!!!

Mario: The lights on the wall are cool!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: There’s the tunnel!

Pink: Wow! That’s cool!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: There!

Jr: Ooooooh! Coool!

A helicopter flies overhead, giving a good view of the expansive mountain. It comes back down on the train station

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! We’re here!

Luigi: Cool train!

Mario: Yeah! Let’s just get on! The others should be here soon!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: That was so AWESOME!!!

Pink: Look, Yoshi! The Marios!

Mario: Welcome aboard!

Yoshi: Heh!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Mario: Oh! They’re here!

Bowser: Gwa ha ha!!! Hey peoples!

Jr: We’re here! We’re all here!

Mario: Yeah…  The final sprint…

Luigi: It’s gonna be fantastic!

The train leaves the station

TOAD TOWN
Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Here we are! Back at the beginning!

Luigi: I remember coming to this train station! It was our first clue!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Wow! The location of our first lead!

Pink: That is so awesome

Slowly the train rolls to a stop.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Let’s go already!

The door swings open and everyone scrambles out.

Jr: GAAAH!!!

*riiiiiip* *riiiiiiiiip* *riiiiiiiiiip*

Mario: This race has tested three things. Speed…

Pink: Luck…

Bowser: And navigation…

Mario: Now you must test all three again!

Pink: The speed test is first!

Phil: Teams must now makes their way a short distance to this pig farm, which houses Li’l Oinks. These small pigs are easily frightened and quite speedy. Teams will have to enter the pen and catch one pig before receiving their next clue.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Oh no! Not those things!!! Augh!

Luigi: What?!

Mario: It is absolutely next to impossible to catch those guys! They’re faster than you when you’re scared!

Luigi: Hey!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Pink. Just move slowly. Be very quiet and sneak up on them.

Pink: Okay...  This’ll be tough…

Yoshi: You’ve got that right, especially with jumbo over there!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: I heard that!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on! Let’s go!

The camera shows the pen with 10 pigs in it, each a different color. They’re sitting around peacefully.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: C’MERE YA PIGS!!!

Everyone else slaps their forehead.

Pigs: Squeeeeaaaaal!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Bowser: Augh! Hey! Come back here!

Mario: Luigi! Get in the pen and wait in a corner! I’ll lead one towards you!

Luigi: Got it!

Mario: Hey! Oinkies! Remember me?!

White Pig: Squeal! (He’s the one that chased us from our homeland!)

Red Pig: Squeal! (He took our treasure!)

Yellow Pig: Squeeeeeaaal! (Ruuuuuuuuuun!)

Mario: Hey! Wait come back! Wait up, little piggies!!!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Both: …

Pink: Wow…  These people stink…

Yoshi: Yep…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: I ORDER YOU TO COME BEFORE ME RIGHT NOW!!!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Well, if the pigs faint they’re easier to catch…

Pink: Come on! Let’s just get one!

Yoshi: Right. Calm and collected!

Hilarity ensues.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha! Come here! *leaps* Graaaaaaaaaah!

The pig just stands there.

BOOM

Bowser: Aw, shoot! I missed…

Pig: *snicker… snicker…*

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Mario! I’m bored! I’ve been sitting in this corner for a long time! Just catch one!

Mario: Does this look easy to you? HUH?!

Luigi: Just do better!

Mario: Argh! Go! Run, pig! Uh, Luigi has the treasure… or something…

Luigi: He’s comin’ towards me!

Mario: Just catch him, you dork!

Luigi: I… gotcha!!! OW!!!

The pig leaps off his head and lands somewhere else.

Luigi: Oww… Did that pig just use a Footstool Jump on my head…?

Mario: Yes. You should be ashamed…

Luigi: Ughh…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi is almost upon one.

Yoshi: … (whispering) Right… there!

He reaches out.

Yoshi: … ACHOOOO!!!

The pig leaps 100,000 feet in the air.

Yoshi: Awwww!!! That’s not fair!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Dad! You gotta run faster! This is the speed contest!

Bowser: Just shut up! I’m gonna catch one of these eventually!

Jr: I’m faster than you and I’m having troubles! Why don’t you do what Luigi’s doing?!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Oww… Stupid pig…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Yeah… I don’t think so…

Jr: ARGH!!!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink is almost upon one…

Pink: …

Yoshi: Hey! Pink!!!

Pig: Squeeeeaal! *flees*

Pink: Ack! What?!

Yoshi: I just sneezed and missed a pig! :)

Pink: *eye twitch*

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz…

Mario: LUIGI!!!

Luigi: *snort* Huh, wha?

Mario: There’s a pig right there by your feet!

Luigi: Gah! Mommy! The zombies are behind you! *kicks*

Pig: Squeeeeeeeeeaaaaaal…

Mario: Oh, come on!!!

Luigi: What did you say? A pig at my feet?

Mario: *steam coming out ears) ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH!

Everyone: This is so hard!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Ughhh! These pigs are too freaking fast!

Jr: I know! You said that about me yesterday and I still can’t catch them!

Bowser: Hold on, hold on, hold on. What in the world are we doing? We’re going about this all wrong! We’re just chasing after them and yelling. We need to rethink our strategy…

Jr: Okay… I think you’re right. What do you propose we do?

Bowser: YELL LOUDER!!!

Jr: '.'

Bowser: STOP RUNNING!

Everyone else smacks their forehead.

Jr: Dad! Stop it!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Okay, this is getting ridiculous!

Funny music begins to play.

Mario: Come on, pig! Come here, little piggy piggy! Come on piggy!

Pig: Squeal? (Did he just call me little? He thinks I’m skinny! Yay! I gotta hug him!)

Mario: Yeah! That’s right, come here ya big ol’ dude!

Pig: Squeeaaaal?! (Gaaaaaaaasp!) Squeal! (He thinks I’m fat! Well! I never!)

Mario: What? Hey! Come back here you swine!!!

Luigi: *snort* Wha? Somebody call?

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Dad! Stop! You’re just making the situation worse!!!

Bowser: What? Am I not yelling loud enough? I’m yellin’ as loud as I can!

Jr: No, you big palooka! These pigs get scared easily! You have to be quiet!

Bowser: Oooooooooohhhhhh!!! ... What’s quiet?

Jr: Ughhh!!!

Bowser: Saying Ughhh!!!?

Jr: No! It’s the opposite. (whispering) Whisper like this.

Bowser: … You lost me…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: LUIGI! STOP SLEEPING!!!

Luigi: Whsmecapigh…

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: I said what first!

Luigi: I don’t know what you said what to?

Mario: What?

Luigi: Huh?

Both: …

Mario: Just catch the dang pigs!!!

Luigi: Fine! Just hurry up!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: … Grrr…

Pink: … Ah! Oh, Bowser scared him!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: SO YOU’RE SAYING BEING QUIET IS MAKING YOUR VOICE NOT AUDIBLE?!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP?!

Crickets chirp. Everyone stares.

Blue Pig: Squeal… (He scares me!)

? Pig: Squeal… (Dude! I’m not getting caught by him!)

Tiger Pig: Squeal!! (Ha! That’s a good one! You’re the slowest one here!)

Blue Pig: Squeal… (He’s right! You’re gonna be the first one caught!)

? Pig: Squeal!!! (Shut up! I’m not gonna get caught by these slowpokes!!!)

Other Pigs: Sq-sq-ea-qu-eal (*Snicker*)

? Pig: Squeal? (What?)

Tiger: Squeal! (Dude! You’ve already been captured! You’re being held by the Yoshi as we speak!

Other Pigs: Squeal! Squeal! Squeal! (Hahahahahaha!!!)

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: I did it! I got him! He was distracted!

Pink: Great job, Yosh! Your plan worked!

Yoshi: Like a charm!

? Pig: Squeal… (Aww, dang!)

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: NOOO!!! THEY GOT IT!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! The Yoshis caught one!

Luigi: *snort* Wha?

Mario: …

*riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi: Congratulations on passing the speed test. Next up is luck…

Phil: Teams must now find “The Playground”, which is the code name for an underground arcade hidden somewhere near here. Once teams find the pipe and gain entry they must play a game of chance to earn their next clue.

Yoshi: Jeez… Where’s The Playground?

Pink: I didn’t know there was a playground around here…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Oh! Hahaha!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Come on. Let’s go look…

Pink: I hope we can keep our lead.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario walks over to a sleeping Luigi.

Mario: Lazy pig… Hey…

There’s an unaware pig next to Luigi. Mario smiles.

Mario: (whispering) Luiiigi… Are you huuungry…?

Luigi: Zzz… mnnf… Wa you got…?

Mario: (whispering) There’s an absolutely delicious plate of lasagna right next to you. Careful… the plate is hot. Reach out and grab it… slowly…

Luigi: Mnnn… I wan… lasagna… Can I hav…

Mario: Yes… Be careful though…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: S’cuse me, where’s The Playground?

Toada: Say what?

Yoshi: The Playground! Where is it?

Toada: Aren’t you a little old for playgrounds…?

Yoshi: …

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: (whispering) Careful… Hot plate… Go slowly…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Dad… I’m so tired…

Bowser: I know… This is exhausting…

Jr: We have to catch one soon…

Bowser: !!! (whispering) There’s one behind you.

Jr: … Wow… You whispered…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Careful… Slowly… Don’t make noise…

Luigi: Wh… huh?

Mario: Just…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: YES! YEAHHH!!! WE GOT ONE! WE GOT ONE! YEAH! WE RULE!

Mario: Aw, shoot! Luigi!!! Your lasagna is running away catch it!

Yellow Pig: Squeeeeeeeaaaaaaaal!!! (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!)

Luigi: Mnnn! Lasagneeeeeee!!! I’ll get you!!!

Everyone Else: …

Mario: I am not related to that being…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Hurry up!

*riiiiiip*

Bowser: Oh man! It’s a luck test!

Jr: Where? Where?

Bowser: Shaddup! I’m reading it! We have to go to The Playground!

Jr: Th… huh? Whatever!

Bowser: Yeah! GO!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: I WANT MY LAAASAAAAGNAAAAAA!!!

Mario: Go, Luigi! Go! Get that lasagna!!!

Luigi: *hufff… huff…* Stop running, lasagna!!! HAAA!!!

Luigi dives.

Mario: Yeah! Yeah! You got it! Wow! Nice job, Bro!

Luigi: (still asleep) I caught it! Oh! It looks to delicious.

He bites it.

Pig: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAL!!!

Luigi: *wakes up* YAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Mario: Hahahahaaa! Haaaa! You did it! You caught a pig in your sleep!

Luigi: … See! I WAS doing the right thing!

Mario: Yeah, yeah! Whatever! Read the clue!

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Luigi: Playground…

Mario: Know it. Let’s go.

Luigi: … Wow…

Mario: It’s over here!

Luigi: Why in the world would you go to a playground during one of your adventures?!

Mario: It’s not really a playground!!!

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: It’s just a codename. It’s actually a gambling house!

Luigi: Woah… Really? I didn’t know that was in Toad Town…

Mario: Follow me!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Hey…

Resident: WAAH!!!

Bowser: Not this again!

Bowser grabs him.

Bowser: WHERE’S THE PLAYGROUND?!

Resident: 0.0

He faints.

Bowser: Ugh… This is impossible.

Jr: C’mon! We’re nearing the close! We need to find this place and fast!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Here.

Luigi: What? This is a… tree…

Mario: Heeee-ya!

He whacks the tree with his fist. A pipe rises from the ground.

Mario: In!

Luigi: Amazing…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: There it is! I saw Mario go in it!

Pink: They caught a pig? But Luigi was sleeping!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Hi there!

Clerk: Welcome to The Playground!!! Today you will be playing a game of both luck and chemistry! Each of you will be put into different rooms. The racer in the red room will choose answers to questions that appear on the computer screen. When finished, the player in the blue room must pick those very same answers. If you succeed at this, I’ll give you your next clue.

Mario: Wow! That’s crazy!

Clerk: Who’s going in which room?

Mario: Luigi, g in the red room.

Luigi: A’ight…

Clerk: Good luck!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: I didn’t even know this existed!

Yoshi: This is cool!

Clerk: Welcome to The Playground!!!

Yoshi: Okay… I’ll go in the red room.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Ugh… I’m tired… I’m worn out…

Jr: We’ve been wandering all over town…

Bowser: I’m still tired from the pigs.

He leans on a tree.

Jr: Waagh!

A pipe appears under him and he falls in.

Bowser: Jr?! Jr!

He hops in.

Clerk: Welcome to The Playground!!!

Both: … Dude…

Jr: Dad, you should go in the red room.

Bowser: Fine.

Phil: The games have begun. Who knows their teammate well enough? Who has the right amount of luck? Who will surge ahead? And who… will fall behind?

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Okay… So… ”Who do you trust the least?” Well, umm, that would be the Bowsers… I see, it’s like personal answers…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Right… ”Who would you not mind being yielded by?” Umm, jeez… I guess Peach and Daisy…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: “Which location brought you closer together?” *snicker* I don’t know! Corona Mountain?

A montage is shown and racers’ answers blend over each other.

Luigi: “Who is the fastest racer?”

Yoshi: “Which location would you do over?”

Bowser: “Which Detour was the hardest?”

Luigi: “Which team would you bring back from elimination?”

Yoshi: “Who would you save if you could stop a Yield?”

Bowser: “Who had the potential to win this race other than yourselves?”

Luigi: Oh, gosh… That’s a tough one…

Yoshi: Who should I pick… They’re both good candidates!

Bowser: How long is this thing?!

Luigi: Umm…

Yoshi: Hmm…

Bowser: Uhhh…

Luigi: Ugghh…

Yoshi: Ummmmmm…

Bowser: Huh?

Luigi: Grrr…

Yoshi: Mmmm…

Bowser: Oh! I know that!

Luigi: Goombella!

Yoshi: Delfino Plaza!

Bowser: Yielding!

Luigi: The second one!

Yoshi: Geno and Mallow!

Luigi: Bowser and Jr!

Yoshi: Grass Land!

Bowser: Uhhhhhhhhhhh… Me!

Luigi: *sigh*

***Luigi: The questions were all about who we trusted and where we enjoyed going.

***Yoshi: It was all about seeing if you and your partner really were a team.

***Luigi: It taught us that we need to know our teammates.

***Yoshi: It was like a test of friendship.

***Bowser: … I thought it was stupid!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: And with that… I should be done!

*BING*

Mario (in other room): Oh! He’s done already?! Wow! I hope he didn’t just pick random answers!

Luigi: I hope Mario doesn’t pick random answers…

Mario: Okay…

Mario: Hmmm…

Mario: …

Mario: Okay… I’d say… The Yoshie! Okay! One question done!

Mario: I should probably pick up the pace…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: ‘K… Almost done…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Who do we trust the most? Uhhh… Peach? No… Daisy… That one must be the Yoshis as well… Yeah…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: All right! That’s it! I hope Pink does well! She should know what I picked…

Pink: Oh! He’s done. Okay… Who’s pure “Evil”? Well, Bowser! Duh!

Mario: Who was the most pathetic? Grodus and Lord Crump obviously! They were 24 hours behind!

Pink: Hmm… Who didn’t deserve to be eliminated… Well… I’d say Peach and Daisy…

Both: Hmmmm…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Hmmmmmmmm…

Jr: What’s taking so long?!

Bowser: Uhhh… I can’t decide! Argh!

Jr: …

Bowser: Okay! That’s my choice! No, wait! Ummm…

Jr: What’s he doing?!

Bowser: Who’s the most “Evil”? Ugh! US!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: What would Luigi say to this? Where did he freak out the most?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Hmm… Yoshi might disagree… He probably said this…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Okay! There! Last question!

Jr: Oh! He’s done! IT’S ABOUT TIME! Okay, first question: Who was the most absent-minded racer?

Jr: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Jr: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Jr: Who was that guy in that movie…?

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Okay! Just a few more questions!

BEEP

Mario: Which locale did you most regret leaving?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Oh! Okay! Yoshi would’ve definitely said this!

BEEP

Pink: Just a few more! Yeah!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Last question! “Who is going to win?”

Mario: *snicker* If Luigi didn’t say us I’ll knock his head off! Okay! Now, what?

BEEP

Computer: You have answered the following… 8… questions wrong.

Mario: All right! That’s not so bad!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I guess… Mallow…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Ahh! I can’t think… of… Who would he have said?

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Man, this is taking a while! I hope he’s doing okay!

***Luigi: I put real thought into those answers. We’re brothers. We know each other extremely well, so it should be easy for him.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
***Yoshi: Well, Pink must’ve found those questions easy! She knows me! She understands the way I think. We’re connected on a level like that…

Yoshi: … Is she done or what?

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Man! I’m burnin’ through questions! I must be halfway done!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Whaddaya mean the ugliest team isn’t the Bowsers? What’re you thinking, Luigi?! Ugh… Ok, I’ll try the Warios… Oh! That’s right! Okay then…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: All right!

BEEP

Computer: You got the following… 5… questions wrong

Pink: WOAH!

***Pink: My accuracy really threw me! I couldn’t believe I had gotten so many right!

Pink: Okay! Let’s tackle this! Hmm… Yoshi didn’t think Grodus was the worst racer…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Oh! Luigi probably said the Boos because he was afraid of ghosts!

BEEP!

Mario: Yes! Yes! I’m done!

BEEP!

Luigi: Oh, yeah! He did it!

They both exit the rooms.

Luigi: Great job, Mario!

Clerk: Wow! You’re the first ones! Here’s your clue!

*Riiiiiiiip*

Mario: Let’s go back to your first challenge!

Phil: The final test is the navigation test. Teams must now go back to the first challenge featured on the race: the Toad Town Sewers. This time they will be on their own without guides or maps. They must search the maze-like sewer pipes for their next clue and then find their way out as well.

Luigi: Oh, no! Not there again!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Come on, Yosh! Goombella is obviously the funniest looking racer! What’re ya thinkin’?

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Hm… That must be… us…

***Bowser: Jr. was taking quite a while. I was beginning to get… ahem… ”worried”.

Bowser: HURRY UP! YOU’RE SO SLOW! EVERYONE’S PASSING US! GAAAAAH! RAAAAAWR!!!

***Bowser: … Yeah…

Jr: K! I’m almost done!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: What in the world are you thinking? Not Goombella, not Toadette, not Mallow, not Diddy. Who’s the funniest looking racer?!

***Yoshi: Oh, yeah! That! I wasn’t really thinking straight… I misread it.

Pink: Hold on…

BEEP!

Pink: I’M the funniest looking?!

BEEP!

Pink: Yoshi!

BEEP!

Yoshi: Oh! She’s done! Yeah!

Pink: Hey! Why am I funny looking?!/

Yoshi: Funny loo- Oh, whoops! Sorry!

Pink: You got somethin’ to say pal?!

Yoshi: No, no! Sorry! I thought it said cutest!

Pink: … 0.0 Oh! *blushes* Okay, then!

Yoshi: Yeah! Heheheheh…

Clerk: Good job! Here’s your clue!

*Riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi: Guess what, Pink? We gotta go back to the sewers!

Pink: Oh, NO!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! Here we are!

Luigi: This brings back horrible memories…

Mario: Whaddaya mean?! I had to find my way through hoards of enemies when I was here! You had a guide!

Luigi: Yeah… but it’s scaaawy!

Mario: Oi!

Luigi: Mamamia…

Mario: Let’s-a go!

Luigi: Waaaah!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Ummmmm… That can’t be right… Oh, right!

BEEP!

Computer: You got the following… 2… questions wrong!

Jr: ONLY TWO?!

***Mario: None of us believed it when he told us!

***Jr: I didn’t realize we had that much chemistry!

***Bowser: Eh! I just picked random answers…

Jr: Okay, what is it? Hmmmmmm… Oh! Whoops! My bad! Of course the slyest enemies are the Boos! They’re freakin’ Boos! What was I thinking?

Jr: Oh, right! Oops!

BEEP!
BEEP!

Bowser: Great job, Jr!

Jr: All right! Let’s get outta here!

Clerk: You’re the last to complete it.

Bowser: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

*Riiiiiiiiip*

Bowser: Okay, we’re going back to the sewers.

Jr: Cool. Let’s roll.

ENTRY PIPE
Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Well! Here we are again!

Pink: Come on! Let’s get it over with quick!

Yoshi: For a million coins! Hup! *plunges*

Pink: Woooo!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Okay… According to the clue our next clue could be anywhere in the whole sewers.

Luigi: Oh, boy! This is going to take forever, isn’t it?

***Luigi: I was pretty bummed to have to do the sewers again. I hate that place.

***Mario: We both just realized that a million coins was on the line.

Mario: Come on! We can do this!

Luigi: Where should we look first?

Mario: Down here! Follow me!

Luigi: Ulp!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Here we are!

Jr: I’m still surprised you managed to fit through that last time…

Bowser: Yeah, well I’ve lost weight from this race! Shouldn’t be any problems!

Jr: Cut the chit-chat! Let’s go!

Bowser: Into the sewers, Son!

Jr: Yeah!

***Bowser: We like the sewers…

***Jr: It reminds us of home.

Bowser: I feel so invigorated!

Jr: Let’s go!

***Bowser: We’re not afraid of anything!

Bowser: EEEEK! A spider!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! Keep looking!

Luigi: I hate this place! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Mario: Yeah, I know. You’ve officially said that 163 times.

Luigi: Well! I hate it!

Mario: Whatever. Just keep looking!

Luigi: Let’s turn in there!

Mario: Sure!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Ugh… That water is sickening!

Yoshi: Don’t fall in!

Pink: I’m not gonna… waah!

Yoshi: I told you to be careful!

Pink: No! It’s a spider!

Yoshi: Oh.

Pink: Eeeeek!

Yoshi: What?

Pink: It’s a rat! Ahhhh!

Yoshi: Huh?

Pink: Ugh! A dead fish! WAAAAAHHH!

Yoshi: There’s so many ugly things down here! What now?

Pink: Bowser!

Yoshi: UGH! How ugly!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Hey! Shut yer mouth!

Pink: You’re done already?

Jr: Yeah, I was pretty smart.

Yoshi: Cool. I hate this place. It’s disgusting!

Bowser: Eh… It’s not so bad…

Yoshi: Woah! You’re insane!

Bowser: What?

Pink: How could you possibly like this place?! It’s terrifying!
 

Bowser: Exactly!

Yoshi: Huh?

Bowser: What?

Both: …

Yoshi: Bye!

Bowser: Yeah, see ya!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! Watch out!

Luigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ... What is it?

Mario: It’s a Dark Koopa!

Luigi: Oh… *ahem* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Mario: Oh, shut up! I’ll take it down!

Luigi: Hurry! I want to get out of here right away!

Dark Koopa: GRAMBLESHMNANTHNMENMNAHSN!!!

Both: …

Dark: Ahem! *cough, cough* Sorry… Got a frog in my throat! Anyway… YOU DIE!

Mario: Ha! C’mere you!

*BAM*

Dark: Missed, you fat loser!

Luigi: LOL!

Mario: Shut up!

Dark: YAA! TORNADO!!!

Mario: Ahh! Meep!

*tornado-y sounds*

Luigi: Go, Mario! Kick his shell!

*BAM*

Dark: Ow! Hey! That huuuurt!

Mario: Uhh… That’s kinda the point!

Dark: HA!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: I’m bored.

Jr: Maybe it’s up this pipe! Hup!

Bowser: GRAAH!

Jr: Hey… Where are we?

Rip Cheato: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Howzit goin’?

Both: …

Rip: Fine! Fine! Nice weather we’re having! You look terrific! You’ve lost weight! Is that a new suit! Wanna buy something?

Bowser: Uhhhhhhhhhh… And you are?

Rip: Why I’m the fantabulous Rip Cheato! I own Honest Rip’s used items emporium where you can get discount items at a low low price with no strings attached! *cough*

Jr: Riiiiiiight… We’re looking for a red and yellow flag!

Rip: Weeeelllll! I can help you out there! I’ve got all sorts of flags! Flags from here, flags from there! I’ll even slap your face on a flag! Watcha want?!

Bowser: No, no. We’re looking for one that’s actually been placed around the sewers. It’s from a TV gameshow.

Rip: So watcha want? A map? A weapon? A sword? A DVD? A car? I got so much stuff I’m overstocked! I’ve got discount items coming out of my armpits! Anything you want it’s yours at a reasonable price!!!

Bowser: Okay. You: Shut Up

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Maaaaaaario? Where aaaaaare weeeeee?!

Mario: I don’t know, Luigi. Stop acting like a baby.

Luigi: We’re lost in the sewers! This is faaan-tastic!

Mario: Shut it, Luigi.

Luigi: But I’m scaaaaaared!

Steam comes from Mario’s ears.

Luigi: Hey! Why don’t we go up there!

Mario: Oooooh, no! That’s Rip Cheato’s place!

Luigi: Who?

Mario: He’s this annoying little dude that lives in the sewer and runs a scam store.

Luigi: Really? How do you know him?

Mario: I stumbled on his house during my adventure. He was all like “You want this? You want that? That’s 10 coins! No, 5 coins! No! 3 coins! No it’s free! I am that crazy I’m giving you a 10-coin discount! You look fabulous. That’s a nice suit! What else will you take?”

Luigi: Sounds like a real character.

Mario: Sometimes he’s obsessed with the number 64.

Luigi: Huuuuh?! That’s messed…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: *eye twitch*

Rip: This is 64 coins! Okay? Sound good! Here! Gimme 64 coins! Okay, whatever! Are you just window shopping? Well, there’s no windows here. I’ll sell you one for 64 coins! Yeah! Are you just standing around? There’s a 64 standing coin fee!

Jr: Let’s go already! This guy is nuts!!!

Bowser: Agreed.

Rip: HEYYYY!!!

Bowser: *blink, blink*

Rip: You didn’t buy anything!

Bowser: I already told you I don’t want anything… No offence.

Rip: Well, you never offended me.

Bowser: I said everything to you except shut up. Then I told you to shut up.

Rip: Byeee sum stuff lol n00b! XD I am 1337 haxor! WAW!

Both: …

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Yoshi? Where’d you go?

Yoshi (behind her): I’m right here.

Pink: AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!

Yoshi: Hey! Hey! Woah! Calm down!

Pink: Don’t sneak up on me like that!

Yoshi: Sorry…

Pink: This place is freaky!

Yoshi: Okay, where haven’t we looked?

Pink: I don’t know! This place is a maze!!!

Yoshi: Yeah, we-

Pink: WHERE ARE WEEEE?!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Rip: Buy this?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy that?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy this?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy that?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy this?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy that?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy this?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Buy that?

Bowser: No.

Rip: Okay, fine. Buy everything?!

Bowser: NOOOOO!!! WILL YOU JUST LET US LEAVE!!!

Rip: Woah!!! Weirdo!!

Bowser: *slaps forehead* Ughhhh…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Hey! Did we check up there?

Mario: Yeah.

Luigi: How do you know?

Mario: … Because I remember it…

Luigi: How can you remember anything in this maze?

Mario: … I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.

Luigi: Everything looks the same down here!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Rip: So tell me! What would you like to buy?

Bowser: *lightbulb* Uhhh… A ticket to leave this store.

Rip: Okay! 20 coins!

Bowser: Sure. Here ya go.

Rip: Okay! Bye!!!

Jr: Let’s go! Now!

Bowser: That was messed up.

***Bowser: I never want to experience something like that again.

***Jr: That guy was messed up!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Where should we go next?

Luigi: I don’t know! I’m just following you!

Mario: Hmmmmm…

Luigi: …

Mario: This way!

Luigi: Are you like psychic or something?

Mario: No…

Luigi: I can’t tell one path from another.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
***Bowser: So we finally got away from that Cheato dude…

Jr: Let’s try up here.

Bowser: Uhh… Fine…

Jr: Yeah… What’s that?

Bowser: What?

Jr: Oh my! It’s red and yellow!

Bowser: What?! We found it?!

Jr: Yeah! We got it!

Bowser: AWESOME!!!

Jr: Yeah!

***Jr: It was such an awesome feeling!

*riiiiiiiiiiip*

Bowser: Make your way to the docks of Toad Town to find your next clue.

Jr: Yeah! All right!

Bowser: Woo…

Both: …

Jr: So… how do we get out of here?

Bowser: No idea…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
***Luigi: I couldn’t stand being down in the sewers for one more minute.

Luigi: Look harder, Mario!

Mario: I’m searching as hard as I can!

Luigi: I hate this place!!!

Mario: You’ve only said that like 2,802,987,340,192,730,197 times!

Luigi: I know! I really do hate this place!!!

Mario: Look! We’re gonna find it soon! Just stay calm!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: What about over here?

Pink: I don’t really care… I’m exhausted…

Yoshi: Follow me up here. This looks like a good spot to hide it.

Pink: Fine…

Yoshi: Just stay strong, Pink! We’re gonna do this!

Pink: *sigh*

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Oh! I see the exit pipe!

Jr: That’s fantastic!

Bowser: Here we go!

Jr: Don’t say Mario’s catchphrase!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: I see it!

Pink: You do?!

*riiiiiip*

Yoshi: The Toad Town Docks it is!

Pink: Oh, yeah! We’re outta here!

Yoshi: I can’t believe we found it!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Did you hear that? Someone found it!

Luigi: Yeah! I heard it too!

Mario: Follow the voice!!!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Oh! Hey, guys!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: It was over here?! Oh, man! We were so close!

Luigi: Darn it!!!

*riiiiiiiiip*

Mario: Ok, to the Toad Town Docks.

Luigi: Let’s just get out of here!!!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: All right! We’re here!!!

Jr: There’s the clue!

*riiiiiiiiiip*

Bowser: Roadblock…

Phil: A Roadblock is a task that only one person can perform! No person may do more than six Roadblocks on the entire race. This is the final Roadblock, and it’s time to look back on the race. Teams must enter Club 64, a very popular club in Toad Town. There, they must write and sing a song that details the locations they went to on the race. Once the owner approves of the song, which must rhyme, they will receive their next clue.

Jr: Dad, you’re the only one with a Roadblock left.

Bowser: I guess I’m doin’ it! *reads* Oh, man! I wish you could’ve done it! I have to sing a song!

Jr: Haha! This should be good!

Bowser: Yeah, yeah…

Jr: Well, hurry up!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Aha! I remember this place!

Pink: How could you possibly?

Yoshi: It just looks familiar… The exit pipe should be… right here!

Pink: All right! Let’s just get out of here like, right now!

Yoshi: Sounds good to me.

They exit.

Pink: Ahhh! Fresh air!!!

Yoshi: Ahhh! The light!!!

Pink: Where’s the docks?

Yoshi: Over that way’s the water, so let’s go.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: This way, Luigi!

Luigi: ‘Kay…

Mario: Up here!

Luigi: You’re incredible!

Mario: Over here… and… exit! Ha!

Luigi: Yea! The outside! Yes!!! Oh my! I missed you!!!

Mario: Well, that’s over. Let’s go to the docks.

Luigi: And I’m SURE you know the way.

Mario: How could I not? That’s where I rode the whale!

Luigi: …

*riiiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Roadblock! And, lucky us! We have a choice!

Pink: “Who’s got the beat?”

Yoshi: Sounds musical. You should do it.

Pink: All right.

Yoshi: Hmmmm… You’ve gotta write a song about the locations we went to.

Pink: Oh, okay.

Yoshi: Then sing it!

Pink: Really? Cool!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: There’s the Yoshis!

Luigi: Get the clue! Hurry! *riiiiiiiip*

Mario: I’ve got the last one! Gimme!

Luigi: Sure…

Mario: Hm… All I have to do is sing a song!

Luigi: Aww! That sounds fun! The only Roadblock I can’t do, I want to do it!

Mario: Yeah, well, that’s the breaks!

Luigi: Just get in there!

Mario: Can do!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: All right… First thing… I need to remember all the places we went to!

Bowser: Let’s see…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Okay! Shiver City, Rogueport, Glitzville, Delfino Plaza, Pianta Village, Corona Mountain, Yoshi’s Tropical Island, Sky Land, Grass Land, Bob-omb Battlefield, Mushroom Plains, and Dry Dry Outpost! Yeah!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: I think I know them all… Let me write them down…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! I’m-a gonna do it trance style!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Hm…

Bowser: Oh, right! That was Shiver City! All right! I’ve got one location!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: What am I missing? That’s only ten places… Lessee… Where did we go before Glitzville…? Hmmm…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: What rhymes with month?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Oh, yeah! Rogueport! How could I forget such an awful place? Now… What was after Sky Land?

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Was it Sky Land or Ice Land we went to?

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Got it! Grass Land! That’s it! All right! Let’s get writing.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario is humming “Ashley’s Theme”.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Gee… I bet this would sound nice as a soft, mellowing song! That’s what I’ll do

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Grrr… This is hard! I forget this stuff easily!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario is still humming “Ashley’s Theme”…

Mario: You’d better learn her name… cuz she’s Ashleeeeey! Okay, let’s see… Glitzville was high! Right up in space… In the tournament… I saw lots of face…s… Ugh… No!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: (humming “Yoshi’s Lullaby”) How about… Hm… The place was so bad… please never go there… I’m telling you… Rogueport people have way too much… hair? No, wait! Rogueport is full of stares! Wait… Rogueport is like the Underwhere! Yes! Awesome!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Oh, gawd! What was that! It was Dry Dry Something… Oh, right! Desert! Duh! Okay, now to work on this soon-to-be-awesome heavy rock song! YEAH!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario (yeah, he’s still humming it): Pantalones Giganticus! Darn it! That song’s stuck in my head!!! Okay! Focus! Delfino Plaza! We washed the shine! And we were glad not to be number nine! Perfectiono!

Mario: Sekai ichi min'na no ninkimono… Sore wa kanojo no koto… ASHLEY!!! Dang it!

***Luigi: Mario’s not bad at writing songs. I like writing songs too, but he’s okay I guess. I just hoped he could rhyme quickly!

***Jr: I was afraid Dad wouldn’t be able to rhyme the words well enough… He’s not too smart.

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: What rhymes with orange?

***Jr: I’m just glad he didn’t say door hinge!

***Yoshi: So, yeah. Pink’s into the arts. She writes poetry, so this should be no problem!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! I’m almost done! It’s sure nice to remember all those places…

***Mario: This sure has been an adventure. It’s been non-stop fun!

***Luigi: We saw so many awesome places!

***Mario: Yeah! It’s great!

Mario: Man, this has been the greatest thing ever… Now what rhymes with purple?!

*Record Scratch*

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Ugh! This is harder than it seems!

***Bowser: Yeah, apparently I couldn’t think of the rhymes well enough. Writing songs is actually hard! I thought it would be a cakewalk!

Bowser: The shine was yellow… maybe orange… NO! Stop using orange! Nothing rhymes with it!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Almost there!

Mario: Just a few more lyrics… The desert… How can I show the heat in my song? Hmmm…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
***Pink: Oh, yeah! I really enjoyed writing the song. I hung out in the back room and just let my thoughts run wild. I just wrote a rhyming poem and made it into my song. I feel very proud of all my work. It’s awesome.

Yoshi: … Come on! Hurry up!

***Pink: And Yoshi supported me all the way.

Yoshi: …

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Hmmmmmmmmmm… AUUUGH! This hurts my brain!!! Ughhh!!! I can’t rhyme with crazy! I guess I’m just too lazy… Hey! That’s it!!! I’ll use wild instead!

***Bowser: Yeah, shut up!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right! That’s it! An awesome poem!

He steps out and onto the stage.

DJ: All right folks! We got our first performer here today!

Crowd: WOOOO!!!

DJ: Name?!

Mario: Mario!

DJ: Theme?

Mario: Trance!

DJ: All right! Let’s give him a hand, folks!

The crowd applauds wildly Mario waves and gives the V-sign.

DJ: Let’s get it started in here!

The band begins to play and Mario sings his song:

Mario: Well, we started in Toad Town, really good start
The sewers were crazy! Almost stopped my heart!
Shiver City was an ice cold place
Icicles were forming on my face!
Then was Rogueport, t’was really bad!
Everyone just seemed so mad!
Then we flew up high, to Glitzville!
Luigi was busy writing his will!!!
Delfino Plaza! We washed the shine!
And we were glad not to be number nine!
Pianta Village was a blast from the past!
Though some were Yielded, we were fast!
Corona Mountain, can’t believe that place!
We went in a volcano on this race!!!
Then we went to a Tropical Isle!
It was Yoshi’s, it made us smile!
We went To Sky Land, it was really high!
Luigi fainted on the very first try!
Grass Land was long, empty and bland!
How do they find their way around that land?
To the battlefield! Where the bombs all live!
I just said “Red coins! Us! Give!”
Then we went back to World 1-1!!
That’s where I think I had the most fun!
Penultimate location was in the desert sun.
There we had the very best run!
Now we’re back here where it all started out!
We’re gonna win, so give us a shout!!!

The crowd applauds wildly.

Mario: Wahoo!

DJ: Hey, man! That was awesome! Take this here clue! Good luck, man!

Luigi: That was great, Mario!

*riiiiiiiiip*

Luigi: Make your way to the main square to receive your next clue. Great! I’ll follow you!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: All right! I’m done! Wow, I’m so proud!

DJ: Name!

Pink: Pink!

DJ: Theme?

Pink: Tranquil!

DJ: All right guys! Start playin’!

The band plays a song similar to “Make a Wish”. Pink hums along with the music at first.

Pink: Welcome to the race… I hope you enjoy
We started in Toad Town… jus’ me ‘n’ my boy!
Shiver City… I just froze!
I should’ve brought some… extra clothes!
I wanna tell you… goooood advice:
Rogueport is not… very nice.
Just take the blimp… up to the sky
Glitzville is awesome… and you’ll know whyyy-hyyyy!
Then we went to… a tropical place
On Delfino Island… no time to waste!
Then we moved to… a biiig large tree!
It was Pianta Village… for Yoshi and me!
You’ll never believe it… t’was Corona Mount
We’re in a volcano… just get me ouuuuut!
(refrain) Yoshi’s Tropical… Island of fun
We played Mario Party… under the sun!
Then it was Sky Land… We played in the clouds
We came in second last… I don’t know hooooow!!!
Ooooohhh… yeahh…
Grass Land was an endless… seeeeea of grass
We came back from behind… and we kicked some…
(spoken) Well… ya know…
Then was B. o. B…  we remembered the troops
Bowser was saying… oops, oops, oooooops
We came to the Mushroom Plains… World 1-1
We used the Fast Forward… and we were dooooooooooone!
(refrain) Then Dry, Dry Outpost! Can’t stand that place
It kinda felt like we… we loooost in spaaace!
Now we’ve returned, weeee’re home agaaaaaain!
Give us a haaaand… becaaause… we’re goooonaaaa
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!

The crowd applauds absolutely wildly.

DJ: Oh, man! That was incredible! We’ve found the next MK Idol!

Pink: Thanks! Thank you very much!

DJ: Here’s your next clue!

*riiiiiiip*

Yoshi: That was the best, Pink! *kisses her on the cheek* Awesome job!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Raaaawr! I’m ready, yo!

DJ: All right! The final performer!

Bowser: Gwa ha ha!

DJ: Name!

Bowser: Bowser!

DJ: Theme!

Bowser: HEAVY ROCK!!!

DJ: GET… IT… STARTED!!!

Rock plays.

Bowser: Well, how you doin’ here over in Toad Town?!
Well, settle in! We’re gonna rock it down!!!
I’m here to tell ya ‘bout the ‘Mazing Race!
Now listen up!
Shiver City is a very cold place!
Then we went to Rogueport to rough it up!
I was like: “Hay man! Shut the *clap* up!”
(Guitar)
Well, we moved onto Glitzville to watch some brawls!
We were beaten while runnin’ in the halls!
Then to the place that I really love!
Delfino Plaza made me push ‘n shove!
Then Pianta Village, I showed my power!
Afterwards I took a relaxing shower!
(spoken) You think I’m jokin’? Best hot spring ever! WAHOO!
(Guitar)
We went into Corona and bathed in the lava!
Everyone was freakin’ out like they were on java!
We went to YTI, and it was great fun!
Cuz Mario Party included mah son!
Sky Land was next! We missed our chance!
I wanted to yield, but we missed the dance!
(Guitar)
Weeeel, I hate Grass Land, it makes no sense!
Can’t they at least use a fence?
Then to Bob-omb… Battlefield!
I still really wanted to use the Yield!
Then we went to the place I remember well!
World 1-1 has stories to teeeeel! ROCK OUT!
(Mean Guitar Solo)
Yeah! Yeah! Yeaaah!
Dry Dry Outpost really stinks!
The heat made me unable to think!
It seems on this race we’ve had some faults!
But I just tossed over my shoulder some salt
We’re gonna win this race! Give me applause!
Why do I say that?! Well… because!!!

The crowd applauds wildly.

*riiiiiip*

Bowser: Yeah! Awesome! Let’s go!

*riiiiiiiiiiip*

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: A Detour!

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks! Each with its own pros and cons!! This Detour will allow teams to experience one of two popular tourist attractions here at Toad Town. The choice? Dojo… or Mojo. In Dojo, teams will make their way here, the Toad Town Dojo. There, they must each battle and defeat The Master, a strong martial arts teacher who trains here daily. If they defeat him, they will receive their next clue. In Mojo, teams must enter this house. Inside they will meet Merlon, a magician. There they must play an ancient game of logic with him. If they succeed, they will receive their next clue.

Mario: Come on. We’ll do dojo.

Luigi: Are you sure?

Mario: Yeah! He’s an old man! He’s a pushover! I’ve beaten him before and I can help you defeat him as well.

Luigi: Well… All right.

Mario: Wow. You’re being grown up about this. No complaining about how you think I’m crazy.

Luigi: I do. I’m just exhausted…

Mario: Right… Whatever.

They head to the Dojo.

Master: *cough, cough* Welcome, fighters.

Mario: It is good to see you again.

Master: Ah! Mario! Welcome back. You know, you’re the last person that received my diploma. There are not many people like you left in the world.

Mario: Mm…

Master: This is your brother, then?

Luigi: Hi!

Master: He is filled with fear and uncertainty, but also valor and trust.

Luigi: …

Master: All right Mario, are you ready to battle me again?

Mario nods.

Master: Then let us begin!

The Mortal Kombat theme plays. MORTAL KOMBAAAAT!!!

Mario: Luigi! Shut it!

Luigi: Sorry…

Master: Fight!

Mario: Keee-yah!

Master: Ha! You forget easily! Never make the first move.

Mario: Ha! YA! Take this!

Master: Oof! Hrr…

Mario: Wah!

*riiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Detour! Dojo or Mojo?

Yoshi: *reads* Hmm… Let’s do the Mojo. I think we’re pretty smart. We could do it.

Pink: All right. Let’s go

They enter.

Merlon: Ah! Visitors. Welcome, racers!

Yoshi: Hello.

Merlon: Let me tell you about the game we’ll be playing. You probably already know it.

Yoshi: Ok…

Merlon: We’ll be playing chess.

Pink: Oh!

Merlon: I am an expert at chess. You two must work as a team to defeat me in a chess match.

Yoshi: Think you can handle it, Pink?

Pink: No problem!

***Pink: I play chess all the time. I’ve entered some tournaments and I won a few. I did most of the work!

Pink: Let’s go.

Merlon: You are allowed to make the first move

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
BAM!

Mario: Never make the first move, Master!

Master: Good! You are remembering your training.

Luigi: … Lucky a-

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Woah! There’s a brawl here!

Jr: Hmmm… Looks like we’ll have to wait.

Bowser: Hmmm… This guy looks like a wimp, but Luigi’s here… Should we do the other one?

Jr: Welll… I don’t think we could do a mind game… We’re ain’t good at that.

Bowser: All right… we’ll sit it out here

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Your move.

Merlon: Hmm… You present a very tough strategy!

Pink smiles.

Merlon: With one fatal flaw. Knight E7!

Pink: *frowns* Aww, man.

Yoshi: It’s okay. You can do this.

Pink: All right… Hm…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Grrrr! Ha! Take-a that!

Master: You fight well and with grace

Mario: Here I come! Haa!

Master: Hm! Ya!

Both are panting.

Master: You have improved, young Mario.

Mario: *huff, huff* I remember all your moves! I cannot be defeated.

Master: We’ll see about that!

Master charges forward. Mario waits until the last minute, then sidesteps.

Mario: Ha! You’re finished!

Master: Gwaah!

Mario: Game over!

BAM!

Mario: NEVER… make the first move!

Master: Ughh… Excellent. Well done, Mario. I have trained you well.

Luigi: Awesome job, Mario!

Master: Now, it is your turn, green one.

Luigi: Ulp… All right…

Master: Let the battle begin.

Luigi takes on a cheesy karate stance.

Others: …

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Hmmmm…

Yoshi: Don’t act too quickly. We don’t want to have to start again…

Pink: He’s knocked out 7 of my pieces, and I’ve only knocked out 5…

Yoshi: Just focus on the King and his defense…

Pink: Yeah…

Merlon: Take your time…

Pink: …

Merlon: Taaaake your time…

Pink: …

Merlon: …

Pink: …

Merlon: Hurry up!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Waaaah! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Mario: Luigi! You unbelievable coward! Stop being baby-like!

Luigi: He’s gunna hurt meee!!!

Master: You are filled with much cowardice! You must learn to stand up to your enemies!

Luigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Mario: Luigi! Listen to me! Just remember what I did! Follow his moves, trust your instincts, and never make the first move!

Luigi: Oh, don’t worry about that! I’m not gonna make ANY move!!!

Mario: Just beat him, you big wimp!

Master: Keyaah!

Luigi: Waaaaaah! *BAM*

Master: Ow…

Mario: Ha! See? Never make the first move!!!

Luigi: Stop making Pendragon references!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Pawn to A9.

Yoshi: Pink! Why are you…?

Pink: Shush!

***Yoshi: I just shut up. Pink knew what she was doing and I was foolish to doubt her. Pink is one of the best chess players.

Yoshi: We’re so close to the finish… Just one more task remains…

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Bwa ha ha ha ha! Luigi is one pathetic waste of existence!

Jr: Haha! Watching him fight is simply hilarious.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Hey! Shut up! I’m doing the best I ca- *BAM* Owwwie! You huut my nosie!

Mario: *face-palm* Just go!

Luigi: I’m going! I’m going! Haaaaa…

Luigi performs a weird attack.

Master: *blink* You truly lack confidence and grace.

Luigi: Come on! I don’t like to fight…

Mario: Too bad, Luigi! We really have to hurry! This might be the last task.

Luigi: No, there’s always one final task at the end creating a retrospect- OWW!!! STOP HITTING ME!

Mario: FOCUS, LUIGI! Never avert your gaze!

Luigi: Just shut up and let me fight!

Mario: Fine, sheesh!

Master: Hmm... I see you two are good brothers. All good brothers quarrel now and then.

Luigi: Yeah…

***Luigi: Then I calmed down and really started listening to Mario. I remembered what he said about the first move.

Master: Let us continue the match.

Luigi: Whatever you say!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Queen to I9.

Merlon: *laughs* You must be kidding me! That is a suicidal move! Queen to E1. Check!

Pink: Heh heh heh… I believe you forgot one thing!

Merlon: I highly doubt it. I am very skilled in the art of chess.

Pink: Then… why did you not see this?!

Merlon: ?

Pink: Bishop to E1!!!

Merlon: What? Where? Ack!!! My Queen!!!

Pink: Ha! Take that!

Merlon: Grrr… You’ve taken my Queen and now I’m on the defense… I’ve never been on the defense before… I don’t like it…

Pink: Heh heh… Your move!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Master: Luigi…

Luigi: Master…

They circle each other.

Luigi: I… will defeat you…

Master: I doubt it… GRaaaah!

Luigi: Wah!

Luigi is tackled. He lands on the floor, but uses the momentum to flip The Master off his back.

Master: Waaaaaaah! Oof!

Both: Never make the first move!!!

Master: Ahhhuhhh…

Chan: The Master has been defeated! Mario and Luigi win!

Both: Wahoo!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Wow… that was pretty cool!

Jr: Yeah…

Mario: That was awesome, Luigi!

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*
Mario: Make your way to the front grounds of Princess Peach’s Castle to receive instructions for… your final task!!! Let’s go! Now! Hurry!

Luigi: Waah!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: All right! Bring it, old man! You’ve been injured!

Master: *1-Up sound effect* I am ready to defeat you!

Bowser: … Aww, shoot!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: …

Merlon: …

Pink smiles.

Pink: Checkmate!

Merlon: Hmmmm… I have been defeated… You are an excellent chess player, young Yoshi. You’ve earned this. Good luck

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Yoshi: That was awesome!

Pink: Peach’s Castle Grounds… Blah… Final task!

Yoshi: Go! Hurry!

Pink: Waaah!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: Waaah! Baaaah! Graaaaah! Grrrr! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Hiii yaaaaah!!! Waaaaaah! *other random fight noises*

Everyone Else: …

Master: You fight with such uncertainty, uncontrolled and with a lack of style. Not to mention you’re very random.

Bowser: Hey! Shut up!

Master: You dishonor the dojo! *SMACK*

Bowser: Owww!!!

Jr: Come on, Dad! Beat him up!

Bowser: Grrr. You’ll pay for that! Let’s battle.

Master: All right, but I am warning you. You cannot defeat me.

Jr: Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go! Go, Dad, go!

Bowser: SHUT UP!!! ARRGHHH!

Master: *SMACK*

Bowser: Owwwww… Stop that…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Come on, Luigi! The end is near!

Luigi: I remember this! Through the giant gates! This is where it all began!

Mario: There’s the Yoshis!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Come on! There’s Mario right there! We’re not far behind!

Yoshi: Let’s go!

*riiiiiiiiip*
*riiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Mario: This is your final task.

Yoshi: It’s time to put your knowledge of the race to the test.

Mario: The finish is near…

Phil: Teams must now complete one final task before reaching the finish line. Teams will receive some photographs, each detailing something they encountered on the race. The pictures range from obvious to obscure. Teams must figure out which order the pictures go into this stand. The order is the chronological order teams encountered these objects on the race. There is one photograph for each leg. However, there are a few extra pictures that should not go into the stand. Teams must decipher clues to figure out which photos do not belong. Once teams correctly place the pictures on the stand, an arrow will pop out. That is when teams may race into the castle and follow the arrows to the roof.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Oh gosh…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Sounds tough…

The pictures are shown with “true” written on the screen: the rungs of a toboggan, a large crate with a Pianta sticker, the optional Roadblock card, a blue coin, a safety harness, an odd red Mushroom, a blue space, an empty Yield sign, the windup key of a Kuribo’s Shoe, a red coin, a flag with a skull, a spoon, and the finish mat. Other pictures are shown with “false” written on the screen: Phil, a balloon, a blade of grass, and a plane ticket.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Here’s the pictures, Mario!

Mario: Here, listen! These are our hints for the fake ones…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: “Caused grief, but also happiness.”

Mario: “One of many, many, bringing happiness.”

Pink: “Monotonous”

Luigi: … and “Your freebie”

All: Hmmmmmmmm…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: All right… Let’s organize them. It’s okay to have doubles, we’ll sort out the fakes last.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Spread them out so we can see them!

Pink: This has got to be the last one. It’s the finish mat.

Yoshi: Okay, we’ll lay them on the ground first.

Pink: Yeah… I’ll put it over here.

Yoshi: We’ll work backwards to better use our memory!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Here, Mario! Let’s just think. Where was first?

Mario: Shiver City.

Luigi: Right… Mr. Genius… Lessee…

Mario: I don’t think any of these were in Shiver City… All but Phil…

Luigi: What’s this one? I don’t know what it is…

Mario: … Something… metal… Isn’t that a rung? From a toboggan?

Luigi: … You might be right… Let’s try that one.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Here Yosh… This is the spoon from the levitation in the desert. Remember?

Yoshi: Right. That sounds good. Where did we ever see this?

Pink: It’s a flag… a flag with a skull…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Oh! I recognize that. That’s from the Mushroom Plains.

Luigi: I don’t remember that…

Mario: It’s the flag from the level’s end!

Luigi: Oh, right! ... Hey, where do these coins go?

Mario: I remember getting both… The red was… at Bob-omb Battlefield.

Luigi: Great! We’re on a roll!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Sure! Put it down! I think I figured out one of the hints!

Pink: Oh, yeah?

Yoshi: Yeah. “Brings Happiness and Grief”? It’s Phil! You’re either team number one or eliminated and he tells you the news.

Pink: Good. Makes sense. Put that one aside.

Yoshi: What about this?

Pink: It’s a plane ticket… I suspect that’s a fake one because we’ve seen a lot of them…

Yoshi: You might be right.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! Let’s focus here! Where does Phil go?

Luigi: He was at every pitstop…

Mario: Let’s leave him to see what’s left then, eh?

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser: C’mere you! Graaaaaaah!

Master: You fight like a coward!

Bowser: Oh, really? Would a coward do this?! *SHA-BAM!*

Master: Ahhhh! Offf…

Bowser: Yeah…

Master: Hm… You win… but not with dignity.

Jr: My turn.

Master: Ur… I sense you are quite the delinquent.

Jr: Shaddup!

Master: … Deep breath…

Jr: Let’s go already!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: No, no, Pink! It goes before Pianta Village! Remember? We had to go around collecting blue coins to use the boat?

Pink: Oh… yeah…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Come on, Mario! Think!

Mario: Well… Oh! Right! Remember Glitzville? We had those balloons in the air and we had to find one!

Luigi: Right! Put the balloon picture under the Glitzville spot!

*Skeptical music*

Luigi: That’s about right.

Mario: Yeah…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Do you think it’s right?

Pink: Huh! Makes perfect sense to me!

Yoshi: I guess you’re right. Not many other places it could go.

Pink: Okay! Put it down!

Yoshi puts down the grass picture. Skeptical music plays.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Mario! How many spots we got left?

Mario: We still need the Sky Land picture and the Rogueport picture.

Luigi: What about that Yield pic?

Mario: There was a Yield in Pianta Village… but that’s already got the safety harness… There was also one in Dry Dry Desert, but that’s got the spoon. Hmm… Wasn’t there one more Yield?

Luigi: Well, all the numbers are taken but there’s no picture. That means no one used it…

Mario: Uhhh… I forget!

Luigi: Hmmm…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Okay… We’re coming along at a good pace here. We just gotta get a few more pictures.

Pink: Where’s this one go?

Yoshi: I think that’s a fake. “Our freebie”? We got plane tickets for free, remember? That’s the fake one!

Pink: Wow! You’re so smart!

Yoshi: Yeah! I know! Haha!

Pink: Well, come on. We can do this… What about this picture? It must be Glitzville!

Yoshi: Remember this though? The Optional Roadblock? Wario told me that was on the Glitzville leg…

Pink: Hmm… One’s a fake.

Yoshi: Well, remember, Glitzville releases 1,000 balloons every day. I think that makes it “One of many, many, bringing happiness.”

Pink: You’re probably right. Let’s throw in the Optional Roadblock.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Mario, what in the world is this?

Mario: Optional Roadblock…? I don’t remember doing it…

Luigi: Really…

Mario: I think it was written in one of the clues. You know, we had to do it under certain circumstances or something…

Luigi: Well, I don’t think it belongs in here.

Mario: I’m not really sure…

Luigi: Well, come on! We’re almost done here!

Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Jr: Wheee! You can’t catch me!

Master: What do you hope to accomplish by running around me so randomly?

Jr: I just said! You can’t catch me!!!

Master: You will never win if you keep that up!

Jr: Doesn’t matter cuz you can’t catch me!

Master: All right them… *BAM*

Jr: Owwwww…

Master: See? I caught you? Never underestimate anything…

Jr: Shut up and fight me, you wiener!

Master: I am not a hot dog ingredient. Let us battle.

Jr: Graaaahhh!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Smart Pink! That’s right! Those were those lava Shroom things we ate on Corona mountain.

Pink: Yeah, I remembered it.

Yoshi: We’re that much closer to finishing! Yes!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Just one more, Mario! One more!

Mario: I’m-a gonna put Phil there. I don’t see another one for Rogueport.

Luigi: Sounds good! We’ll just change it if it’s wrong.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Oh, man! They’re done! They’re done!

Yoshi: Don’t focus on them! Theirs might not be right!

Pink: I sure hope so…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: … Is something supposed to happen?

Mario: I think so… I wonder why…

Luigi: I don’t think it’s right.

Mario: Okay, let’s try again

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: Phew…

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: You know, Mario, I don’t think Phil goes in any of them. First of all, he’s in all of them. Second, I think he fits the description of he who brings happiness and grief…

Mario: You might be right…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: You think so?

Pink: Yes!

Yoshi: All right! I’ll put the box down for Rogueport

Pink: See that… just cut off?

Yoshi: What, that blue thing?

Pink: It’s a sticker with Don Pianta’s face on it. That means they’re his boxes, which we piled while in Rogueport.

Yoshi: Yeah… You’re right…

Pink: We’re close

***Yoshi: You could feel the tension in the air! You could cut it with a knife! Both of us really wanted to win. We would not lose. We couldn’t.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Just put the boxes in Rogueport. We lifted boxes there… We’ll try it.

Mario: All right. Let’s try this.

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Pink: There they go again.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: It’s wrong again.

Mario: I’m sure we’ve got at least 11 of them right! Rungs, Box, Balloons, Blue Coin, Harness, Lava Shroom, Blue Space, Yield, Grass, Red Coin, Flag, Spoon, Finish…

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
They just put some pictures in.

Yoshi: All right. We got some wrong. Let’s look at the pictures we didn’t use.

Pink: Hmm… Phil. We’ve eliminated him

Both: Hahaha! Ha!

Pink: Plane Ticket, also eliminated. Balloons, eliminated… What in the world is this thing?

Yoshi: It looks like… a key…

Pink: Like… huh?

Yoshi: I mean, a wind-up key on a toy!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: Mario, I remember now! Waluigi complained about the optional roadblock on the Glitzville leg!

Mario: Oh, yeah?

Luigi: Yeah. He was angry because it made him fall behind.

Mario: Then let’s swap it out.

Luigi: Yeah. And if that doesn’t work I want to try changing the grass one...

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: All right! We’ll try that.

Pink: Just put the key thing instead of the grass. It sounds monotonous.

Both teams walk up to the stand.

Mario: …

Luigi: …

Yoshi: …

Pink: …

***Yoshi: All we knew was that once an arrow popped out, the race was pretty much over.

PING!

Mario: !

Luigi: !

Yoshi: !

Pink: !

There is an arrow… above Yoshi and Pink Yoshi’s stand.

All: GASP!

***Yoshi: I could only think of one thing.

Yoshi: RUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!

Pink: Go! Go! Go! Hurry!

Yoshi: Go! Follow the arrows! Let’s go!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Luigi! Change the grass! That’s the right thing!

Luigi: Waah! Here! ... Where is it? Oh, here!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Go Pink! In the doors! Follow the arrows!!!

Pink: WHERE ARE THE ARROWS?!

Yoshi: Here! Follow the stairs! Up to the roof!

PING!
Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: Come on, Luigi! Hurry!

Luigi: We still have a chaaaance!!!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Go go go! Through the door!

Pink: Geez!

Yoshi: Up here! We’re so close!

***Yoshi: I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.

***Pink: I ran as hard as I could

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Luigi: I knew it! I knew the grass was the wrong picture!

Mario: Luigi! This is not the time! Let’s just run!

***Mario: We were in second place, but we ran as hard as possible to try to pass them!

***Luigi: We just ran like the wind. We flew up those steps.

***Mario: I’m just glad neither of us tripped!

Yoshi/Pink Yoshi -- Dating
Yoshi: Pink! Over here!!! Climb the ladder!!!

Pink: I’m coming!!!

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
Mario: It’s over there! The roof entrance is over there!

Phil is standing at the mat on top of the roof. All the eliminated teams are cheering wildly, except Grodus and Lord Crump, who look angry and clap slowly. The camera views all the ecstatic faces. Wario is jealous but happy. Peach and Daisy are overjoyed. Toad and Toadette are going wild. Goombella is jumping up and down. Phil simply stands there…

Phil waits… The music pauses…

Yoshi’s hand grabs the top rung of the ladder.

Yoshi: Come on, Pink! Almost there, hon! Just go!

Pink: We’re gonna do it! We’re gonna do it!!

The crowd yells even louder.

Yoshi: Here I come! Yeaaaaahhhhhh!!!

The camera views the happy faces again.

Pink: Wheeeeeee!!! We wiiiiiin!!!

Yoshi: YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Yoshi lands on the mat.

Yoshi: Come on, Pink! Yeah!

Pink: Yes!

Pink lands on the mat.

The crowd continues cheering.

Yoshi: Yes! Yes! Yes!!!

Phil: 10 countries… an entire continent… and over 40,000 miles!

The crowd goes nuts.

Phil: Yoshi… Pink… You two are the official winners of the Amazing Race MK!!!

Yoshi: YEAAAAHHH! WOOOO!!! WE DID IT!!!

Pink: WE DID IT! WE WON!! YEAAAHHH!!!

Phil: You two are the winners… of one million coins!!!

Yoshi: Yes! Yes! Woooo!!!

Pink: Oh my god! I can’t believe it!

She hugs Yoshi.

Yoshi: Ahaha! Yeahh!!!

Phil: Congratulations! You ran a great race.

***Yoshi: I couldn’t even say anything. I could only yell. I was that happy.

Mario/Luigi -- Brother Superheroes
The crowd keeps cheering

Mario: Come on, Luigi!

Luigi: They won!

Mario: Who cares?! Come on!

They hit the mat.

Luigi: Oh man…

Phil: Mario and Luigi, congratulations. You are team number two.

Mario: Oh well, man! It was a great adventure!

Luigi: I had so much fun! It was incredible!

Phil: You guys ran an incredible race. You should feel proud of yourselves.

Mario: Yeah… Well I’m certainly glad for these guys!

Phil: Do you have anything to say to Yoshi and Pink?

Luigi: I wanna rematch!

Everyone laughs.

Yoshi: Ahaha… You’re great, Luigi.

Yoshi gives him a noogie.

Luigi: Ahhh…

Mario: Hey! Only I’m allowed to give Luigi noogies!

Luigi: Mamamia…

*Fade*
Bowser/Bowser Jr. -- Father + Son
Bowser runs up to the stage.

The crowd continues to cheer. Jr. darts up after him

Bowser: Hufff…

Phil: Bowser and Jr… congratulations. You’re team number 3.

Bowser: Oh, man… That’s a tough race…

Phil: You guys held strong. You were very good racers! Feel good about completing the race?

Bowser: Yeah, I do… And it seems that I’ve come to know all of these people better. I don’t feel the need to be evil anymore.

Mario: Wow… Really?

Bowser: Naw! I’ll be back next month! It’s a date, Princess! Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha!

*Fade*

The crowd rushes up to greet the final three.

Mario: Man, it was so crazy! You shoulda been there!

Wario: I wanted to skydive. I want to try that out.

Prof. Frankly: No way! A volcano! Man, I can’t believe I missed that!

Luigi: Oh, man. It was a race to remember for sure…

***Yoshi: The Amazing Race was an incredible experience. It’s only a percentage of my joy that we won. I just enjoyed spending all this time with Pink. She truly is the love of my life. I couldn’t possibly imagine doing this race with anyone but her.

***Pink: Yoshi’s an incredible guy. He’s powerful, bold, brave, but he still knows how to be compassionate, caring, and loving. He’s an all around great guy. He’s the one to thank for winning us this race! I’m so glad that we met. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

***Mario: I couldn’t have given up first place to a better team. Yoshi and Pink are great people. You can’t help but love them. I’m so famous around here. I love going on adventures and just having fun every day of my life. I don’t need a million coins for that. I’m just glad I got to experience all those places.

***Luigi: The Amazing Race has had a great effect on me. I feel braver and stronger now. No more hiding from my own shadow. Yes, it was a wonderful ride that taught me many new things. I do not regret anything.

***Bowser: Man! I wanted to come in first! I really did! But, I guess we tried hard. We tried very hard. We just couldn’t win this time. I’m really overdue for a victory, but not today. Maybe someday… someday…

***Jr: My dad has been so supportive. I really love him to death! He’s the coolest dad ever! I want to grow up to be just like him. He’s truly my mentor! I would not have chosen a single other person for a partner, even if it guaranteed my victory. Nope, it was me and my dad, no question about it.

Everyone stands on the finish mat. The sun is starting to set and everyone is clapping. Pink is on Yoshi’s shoulders.

***Yoshi: The Amazing Race has brought us closer together.

***Pink: It was a bonding experience that I will never forget.

The credits roll…

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