(Music selected by TMS)

All the Axem Rangers were quietly enjoying their vacation on their Blade Ship. Axem Green and Black had gotten into the sugar and had gotten really hyper. They ran around throwing sugar all over the place and ran around in circles. "Axem Rangers! Yeah!" Axem Green screamed.

Axem Yellow came in. "SHUTUP!" Both the Axem’s stopped and tried to stay still. Green kept on twitching his body and Blacks eyes kept twitching and his head kept jerking around.

Axem Red came in. "Vacations over! Our five minutes are up!"

"Awwww!" Axem Black said.

"SHUTUP!" Axem Yellow yelled again.

Axem Red stood up on his pedestal. "Our next plan is to invade the Mushroom Kingdom."

“Again?" Axem Black asked.

"SHUTUP!" Axem Yellow shouted.

Axem Red coughed "....YES AGAIN, YOU IDIOT!" Axem Black started crying and ran out of the room. "Man, not again," Axem Red said.

"SHUTUP!" screamed Axem Yellow.

Axem Red stared at Axem Yellow. "DONT TALK TO YOUR LEADER LIKE THAT! YOU FOOL!"

 Axem Pink walked in "I don’t think any of us are ready for another fight yet. I mean, Axem Green is twitchy and hyper, and Axem Black is crying, and Axem Yellow keeps saying Shutup!"

"SHUTUP!"

"YELLOW! SHUTUP OR I’LL SMACK YOU ON THE BACK OF DA HEAD!" Axem Red screamed.

TMS had overheard the Rangers and decided he had had enough fighting them. It seemed they always showed up to ruin his day. "Don't worry, I won't stop you this time, I can't say the same about the others... but, hey, who gives a care about them!"

Axem Red winked at Axem Pink, who pulled out something they had always wanted to use, the Axem Gun, a powerful weapon that turned anyone into an Axem Ranger. Pink zapped TMS, turning him into a Gold Axem Ranger. "I am Axem Gold, and I'm taking over this show, Red! Give me that gun! We have a troop to make! We have to replace Green and Black, they’re too hyper to attack! I know who to replace Green with.... To lure her into my trap, I must use my old pitiful human form, and you must pretend you've captured me."

LATER

"Stupid chains, they keep me from using my powers, too." 'TMS' mumbled. As planned, Star Koopa showed up.

"TMS? How did they..." another set off chains clamped around her ankles and wrists.

"Got you!"

"But why? Why are you on their side?"

His chains withered away and he once again became Axem Gold. "Welcome home, my new Axem Green."

"What are you talking about? I'm not an Axem Ranger!"

"I to, was once a pitiful Star Guardian, but now, I am Axem Gold, leader of the Axem Rangers, and you, my favorite companion, will be my new Axem Green." Gold zapped her with the Axem Gun.

"And we shall rule the universe together!"

"Yes, I as King, and you as Queen." They both began laughing evilly. Axem Gold and the new Axem Green walked out of the dungeon.

"Well, Green, who should be Axem Black?"

"Sandslash will do nicely."

"Yes, he would make a perfect Axem Black!"

Once again they shared an evil laugh.

TMS walked up to Sandslash’s house and knocked. Sandslash opened.
"??? TMS, don’t come over before 8:00 AM! I’m sleeping!" TMS punched Sandslash in the stomach really hard. "H--ey. Jeez, don’t do it so hard.... Who.... Axem Red?" Sandslash fell on his knees and wheezed out air.

"Shut up. Right now. The name is Axem Gold, and I'm gonna kick your butt if you say one more word."

"Go away TMS, it's to early. I've had enough of the Axems, besides, you’re no Axem, and get that ugly hologram of Red out of my face."

"Time for star seed stealing!" Axem Gold held his hand out and a brown crystal shaped like a seed came out of Sandslash.

"A high quality one, who would have know!" Gold snickered.

"I thought you came here to ask him to join us?" Green (Samaritan) asked.

"I have better plans. Black, come here!" Black walked in and Gold sucked his crystal out.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Watch." Gold melded the sandy brown crystal and the black crystal. A dark sandy crystal came out.

"What... is it?"

"The Black Sand crystal. I put in Black and he's loyal, as usual, but he has Sandslash's personality."

"Goody!"
Gold replaced the crystal in Black and he came back to life. Sandslash laid on the floor. Without his star seed, he couldn’t live.

(MEANWHILE, ON GINKO'S SHIP)

Ginko was considering trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom when a Koopa Troopa walked by. "You there! Activate the power-up factory, we're gonna take over Ice Land!" Ginko yelled. The Koopa Troopa rushed off. Ginko grumbled at the failure of the Axem Rangers in the past and decided he would make a visit to their Blade Ship and blow them up on the way.

(BACK WITH AXEM GOLD)

"BWAHAHA! Now we will begin the invasion of the Mushroom Kingdom!" Axem Gold laughed. Axem Green joined him in laughing.

Just then a blast hit the side of the Axem Ranger's Blade Ship. A familiar big booming voice yelled, "AXEM RANGERS, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ginko didn't know just before he attacked the Axem Rangers that Axem Gold was now leading them. What trouble had he gotten himself into?

"A pathetic moron. Something to do while Green gets Yellow. Halt! I, Axem Gold, the new leader of the Axems, command an explanation for your attack. If you continue, prepare to be destroyed."

"You pathetically weak little soldiers! How dare you threaten me, Ginko?!"

"Ha! Pathetic, are we? You are pathetic!" The new Axem Green shouted at Ginko's ship. "Back already I see," Gold then said to Green.

"She didn't fight, she said ‘I refuse to fight a former friend.’ Like I was ever her friend!"

Ginko decided to just blow up the Blade Ship and move on to take over the Mushroom Kingdom before tea time. "Ha!  You think I'm going to stop attacking a weakling like you?" Ginko shouted, then pressed a button on his control panel. A very large very familiar very destructive missle was revealed.

"Sub Atomic Destructive missle will fire in 10 seconds," the doomship computer said. Ginko chuckled at how stupid this new Axem Gold was. But wait! Was there some unseen power yet to be used against Ginko the Hammer Brother?

Axem Black (Sandslash and Axem Black) put his axe in his other hand and roared. "What the? Sandslash? You don't act like that"

Axem Black started hovering and laughing at Ginko. "You see, the night before you captured me I had used the crystal melding technique. I had Cammi help with the switch."

Axem Gold was confused. "Who did you switch with?"

Axem Black laughed and hovered up to Ginko's ship. "Ain't telling you, but I stole his powers and kept my personality." Then Axem Black took out his sword and squinted his eye. BEEP, BEEP. Everyone was looking around to see where it came from. Axem Black hovered backwards about 20 yards, took his axe, and threw it. It flew through the air and cut through a part of Ginko's ship. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The bomb in Ginko's ship exploded. Axem Black laughed. "Got to love the perfect accuracy and the ability to see through over ten layers."

Ginko started screaming various words that are censored with a @#$% as his doomship began falling to the ground. He then quickly ran down various corridors to the power-up storage room.

Back outside, Axem Gold (TMS) had gotten into a nasty brawl with Axem Black (????/Sandslash/Axem Black), when suddenly the top of the crashing doomship snapped open, releasing swarms of cape wielding turtles and one Hammer Brother who was siting in a cloud. The Hammer Brother laughed,  "That is it! Keep in mind I have the one and only Power Up Factory!" He then took out a star and held it up, which made him start glowing. Will Ginko and his army of powered up turtles conquer the Axem Rangers?

Axem Gold was trying to get Axem Black to say where his power was coming from, but Axem Black wouldn't budge. Suddenly Axem Blue sprinted in. "Blue? I don't need a mechanic. Get out of  here."

Axem Blue was panicking. Then he pointed at the doomship. "What the....!!!??? The doomship is coming straight towards us!" Gold grabbed Blue and catapultsd him onto the ship, screaming bad words in a foreign language and telling him to fix the thing. "AAAHHH!" Blue screamed. Blue turned around and got really mad. He gritted his teeth and his eyes got red. He was still flying towards the ship but he was facing Axem Gold. The doomship hit him but instead the doomship crashed into Axem Blue. A whole chunk of the doomship was scraped off the side, and it didn't even scratch Axem Blue! Then Axem Blue pulled out his axe and yelled,  "Bazooka Blue says chew on this!" He threw his axe so swiftly that it sliced off Axem Gold's head.

"Did you think me foolish enough as to not to keep my regeneration ability?" Gold asked him as his head floated back on.

And while all this happened, Ginko was watching from his cloud. "That's it! TROOPAS CHARGE!!!" he yelled. The cape wielding Super Troopas zoomed down on the Axem Rangers while spinning their capes, while the Star powered Ginko swooshed down with his mighty hammer of doom. "Prepare to die Infintecemal WEAKLINGS!!!"

Ginko woke up from his dream. "What the?" Ginko was still in his doomship, which was smashed up from hitting Axem Blue. "Oh man! I had another five second dream!"

"Star Call Cry! This should bring a few candidates for new Axems! Gwah ha ha ha!" Gold laughed. Sailor Moon showed up first, and he turned her into Pink. For some reason, she also had funky pink hair in her original style. Next, Mercury showed up. She became the new Blue. Mars then answered the distress call and became Red. Saturn came also and was turned into Axem Purple.  "A new army of Axems to fight by my side!"

"Sailor Axem Purple!"

"Sailor Axem Pink!"

"Sailor Axem Blue!"

"Sailor Axem Red!"

"I'm Queen Axem Green."

"I'm King Axem Gold."

"And I am the Black Axem Knight. Together we fight for chaos!"

All the Axems were laughing when a huge beam of blue light came out of Ginko's cannon. It shot Axem Black and chipped off a thrid of his crystal. "Oooof!" Sandslash clutched his crystal and then turned to Axem Gold. "You? TMS! Trying to make me Axem Black!" Sandslash went into a fury after losing Axem Black's loyalty from the crystal. He took out two axes and ran at Axem Gold, full speed. He swung both axes around very fast. Axem Green jumped at him but got her armor sliced in half. Axem Gold knew Sandslash so much that he knew exactly what to do. But right before Axem Black reached Axem Gold, Axem Blue quickly zoomed in front of him and sweeped Axem Black. Axem Gold swerved to the left. Axem Black fell and sliced Axem Gold in half, which Axem Gold didn't expect. It cut Axem Gold's crystal in half, sending one half throigh the air and hitting the ground, then turning into shards of glass swept away by the wind. Axem Black fell onto the ground.

Ginko then whistled and a cloud popped up. "Get me out of here!" he yelled and the cloud carried him out of the doomship, followed by a few lucky Troopas. After they zoomed into the sky Ginko pressed a button on his doomship. The familiar voice of the doomship said, "Warning, you now have ten seconds before I blow to bits AGAIN!" Then the voice added, "Oh screw the ten seconds! I'll just blow up NOW!" The ship exploded, and  fortunately Ginko hadn't stocked it with a lot of missiles, so it only dug a small crater into the ground.

Meanwhile, Ginko got an even more wicked idea to use later and zoomed off to his land so far away it was stupid to think of the distance. But what happened to the Axem Rangers, Sandslash, TMS, and the others? Axem Black got up but Axem Gold couldn't. He didn't have any power. The part of the crystal that was destroyed was his power. He couldn't heal himself either.

Ginko was pacing around a room that is at the very top of the tallest tower of a very wicked looking spiked castle that sits on the top of a very tall sharp mountain that is in the middle of a very small island that's covered in very dark and dreary forest. Suddenly a very bright flash erupted from the windows of the top floor of the tower and a clap of thunder followsd. Ginko was standing under what might have been a light bulb that exploded. "THATS IT!!!" he yelled in his a booming voice. The rest of his minions were in a bomb shelter under the mountain to prevent the "bright ideas" of Ginko from killing them. So they didn't hear Ginko dialing a number on his cell phone. He said some yes, that's right, and a few other phone talk phrases, then put it back on the receiver. Ginko was next seen wearing safety goggles and zapping some strangely familiar looking crystals with electrical equipment. "Almost perfected it," he mumbled to himself, then pressed a button. A very large glass cylinder with a poor Koopa Troopa within slowly lowered to the floor. Ginko gave a large energy charge to the crystals and when the light settled a single crystal was glowing on the table. He put the crystal in a specially designed socket, then flicked a switch. The glass cylinder glowed bright colors, then exploded, revealing a glowing Crystal Axem Ranger! Ginko had taken parts off the sharded crystal of Axem Gold and Axem Black from the scene with his teleportation device. He connected them and supercharged them. Now he had created a super powerful Axem with extreme loyalty. Still, it was only two thirds of a crystal, and he needed to steal another part of someone's crystal.

Ginko studied the Crystal Axem Ranger, then frowned. His Piranha Plant with raccoon ears and tail then snapped its fingers (actually its leaf). Then he hopped into his Doomship to go grab Geno from the Star Road.

And back at the Axem Rangers, Gold fired the Axem Gun on accident. A girl Axem appeared in white and black and she was balled up, then unraveled. "I fis Gaino! Sailor stuke dado KeyT! Sailor X!" (Translated: I'm the suited sailor soldier of my planet Sailor X) Hello, Axem colors, I'm also Axem X And a friend to all enemies and friends!"

Axem Black kicked the Axem Gun out of Axem Gold's hands. It hit a tree and exploded. "That gun was getting out of hand."

 Axem Black saw that Axem Gold was bleeding yellow stuff. It urned out he had lost his healing power. "Some one gimme a band aid!" Axem Gold yelled.

Axem Black started going crazy yelling, "He's like an average Joe, he will be dead in one more second." One second passed. Now there was only one thing they could do: Get the crystal from the crystal Axem and use its power to revive Axem Gold!

Meanwhile, Ginko has Geno trapped in a diamond prison after having several failures with steel and glass. "Bwahahaha!!! I will now create the ultimate Axem Ranger!" Ginko laughed to himself.

"You won't get away with this, you poor excuse for a house plant!" Geno yelled from his prison, which he has tried repetitively to break out of but without success.

"On the contrary, I just have!" Ginko said as he pressed a big red button. A zap of energy coursed threw Geno's body and his crystal was removed by a robotic claw. Ginko then proceeded to combine the crystal with the one he already has forged and placed it in the socket on the crystal Axem. Lights flashed and the crystal Axem Ranger suddenly jumped up and yeled,s "I am the Destroyer of worlds, Conqueror of all things, the unstoppable AXEM STAR!!!"

"Now go and destroy the Axem Rangers for their impotence!" Ginko yelled and the crystal Axem blasted off. Ginko quickly took a copy of the crystal and swallowed it. (Being a Piranha Plant, his digestive system is stronger then Yoshi's.) "Now my Axem Ranger will be invincible!!" He laughed to himself and left the crystaless Geno in the cell. Will Axem Black (??? And Sandslash) be able to handle this new power?

The inner part of Gold, that was still good, watched from the yellow shards of his Star seed as Axem Green  picked them up. 'There's only one thing to do!' he thought. TMS did the last thing he dared do, he sent the one phrase he knew would have meaning to Green still. 'Only a Memory Away.'

A tear trickled down Green's face, becoming a yellow crystal. "My... My... Star Seed!" She began to change back into Star Koopa. As she did, the seed replaced itself. "Only a Memory Away," she whispered.

"Will you miss me when I'm gone? Will you remember all the good times we've had?
The hardest thing about leaving is saying goodbye..." Star Koopa started.

"We'll always be the greatest of friends, I'll miss you more than I can say, And when you dream, I'll be there for you, I'll be only a memory away..." All the Axems but Black joined in, returning to their normal selves.

"We'll always be the greatest of friends, I'll miss you more than I can say, And when you dream, I'll be there for you, I'll be only a memory away...

You're something special to me, Friendship is something that money can't buy, And if you need me, you know that I'll be there for you...

We'll always be the greatest of friends, I'll miss you more than I can say, And when you dream, I'll be there for you, I'll be only a memory away...

We'll always be the greatest of friends, I'll miss you more than I can say, And when you dream, I'll be there for you, I'll be only a memory away... "

Axem Black was moved by what had happened and did a huge jump into the clouds. "He's heading to Ginko's palace alone! He can't make it alone! Fool!" Axem Gold yelled. Then he closed his eyes and stopped moving. He transformed back to TMS at the last minute.

Meanwhile, Axem Black was in a berserk rage and had already made it to the palace. He crashed through walls and opened a door to find Ginko gone and Geno in a cage. He saw Geno had his crystal removed and saw no need to do anything. Axem Black's eyes swirled with colors and he jumped through the ceiling off to somewhere no one knows. Maybe Axem Star, maybe Ginko, maybe somewhere clever or stupid. No one knew.

Back with TMSm they had set him on a bench and then had set out to find Ginko, and maybe Axem Black..

(FROM BEN'S POINT OF VIEW) I kind of pitied Axem Black as I saw him jump away. He thought he was going to get Ginko. I was already one step ahead of him. I know where Ginko was, and so I got up and started flying away (I was in my fox form). Just a few minutes later I arrived on the ship, and Ginko turned around. All at once I chopped off one of his leaves, and slashed him across the stomach, the crystal dumping out. Ginko screamed in pain and then gasped, "Guards..." Ginko never said anything else because I slashed him across the neck, disconnecting his head from his shoulders. I picked up the crystal, wiped off the blood, and flew out of the ship.

BSSSKKKKK! A huge explosion erupted as the whole entire ship exploded. Axem Star was hovering over the huge explosion. He had his finger pointed at the ship. "Ha! My strength is 20 times as much as TMS' now that I am enhanced." The crystal Ben was holding flew in the air and into Axem Stars hands. "Hahaha! It even flew into my hand! Destiny is on my side! Bwa-hahah-" Axem Black had kicked the crystal out of Axem Stars hands. Axem Star quickly flew after it and Axem Black followed him. Axem Star got it but when Axem Black reached him Axem Star stuck the crystal in his mouth, swallowing it and gaining its energy. Black tried to punch him but it didn't hurt him. Axem Star pointed his finger at Axem Black. Black exploded and his body parts all flew in separate directions. Thank God that was just his clone, ‘cause it was dead.

Meanwhile, Ben was flying through the air unconscious. It was a miracle he was still alive. Axem Star noticed that Ginko was falling too and that he was dead. "Master!" Axem Star went up to Ginko and cast a revival spell on him. Then Ginko came back to life, fully healed.

Axem Black (Sandslash) went in front of Axem Star and did self-destruct. It was huge and blew Axem Star away. Axem Star was actually bleeding just a little bit. "HahahaHAHAHA! Did you think giving away your life would kill me?! It may have for Axemonster, but I'm 100 times as strong as him. Ha!" Axem Star kicked back and hit a sneaking Axem Black. Another Axem Black jumped in front of him but Axem Star hit him and threw him into the sky.

An Axem Black stood in front of himself and then pulled out his Masamune Blade. He then switched into a light blue shimmering form. He cloned himself ten times until there were ten Axem Blacks with Masamune Blades. They formed a circle around Axem Star and started slashing away at him. Axem Star dodged every hit. Then he took one and it didn't even scratch him. "Impossible! This should slice anything! Even the most powerful forces! It doesn't make sense!"

Axem Star took the edge off all ten Masamune Blades and pushed them into all ten Axem Blacks. They all fell down. The real Axem Black was busy figuring how he could steal the crystal from Axem Star. It would be impossible to do it physically or magically. Then he saw that Cammi was running up to Axem Star! Then he saw Charizard coming the other way! Then he saw Ben was back up and running towards Axem Star! Then he saw Mewd. They all got to him at the same time. He kicked them all at the same time and they flew about 100 yards. Cammi could barely breathe and Charizard fainted. Mewd was bashed up and Ben was in really bad shape.

Suddenly Axem Black saw a foot head towards his face and hit it. Then everything got all-woozy and he fell down. It turned out that Axem Black had about three seconds of life left. He took his foot and pulled as hard as he could. Axem Star spun in the air really fast and fell down. He threw up. "Man! That was stupid," he said. Axem Black took some of his throw up, grabbed it in his hand, and crushed it, and the crystal was in it. "Hahah-" Then he just laid still on the ground.

The crystal shattered into dust, with the energy of Geno, TMS, and Black neing thrown to the wind along with Axem Star's body. Ginko seemed to find ways to add to his schemes. "HA! You haven't beaten me yet!I shall return with an even more powerful warrior! You haven't seen the last of Ginko!" He laughed and zoomed off on a cloud.

TMS and Sandslash just lay on the ground. Geno was up and looking around. Then he saw Axem Star creeping towards him. "You? Still alive?"

"Yes fool! How do you think I could control myself before I ate the crystal? He made a copy and put it in my crystal space in my back! Hahah-" He stopped and then he reached his hand into his back. Then he pulled his crystal out, threw it at Geno, and then turned into dust.

"Hmm." Geno took the crystal and held it in his hand. "Revive!" Axem Black and TMS woke up. "Why did Axem Star do that?"

"Me and TMS took over his body with our spirits," Sandslash said.

Therefore, TMS went back to his old self. Sandslash got his body back. TMS made Ginko fix his crystal. And all the Axem Rangers turned back into themselves. At last the whole town had a crystal liquefying festival, where they all liquefied their crystals and drank them so no one could mess with them again. And Cammi, Charizard, Mewd, and Ben were seriously hurt. Oh well. It happens.

Credit goes to Sandslash, The Mario Surfer, Benjamin, Ginko, and me for writing, editing, suggesting, or in any way enhancing this story.

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.