The universe. NOT the final frontier, but certainly an impressive one. It is a vast darkness, which holds all the mysteries of the universe in its clutches. Also, it’s the home of meteorites, asteroids, satellites, and mysterious discoveries that humanity, Toad-ity, and even Koopa-ity may never find. You would think that this is the perfect place for an adventure, and you would be right. But, this particular adventure takes place in a slightly more specific location.
*Produced by Super G Films...*
The Lumanoid Galaxy. Still not as specific as hoped, but nonetheless. The planets here are very small and transportation around here is simple, as long as a certain red-clad hero can finish rescuing stolen Power Stars from a villainous turtle in order to power a space station. Though transportation in small ships and “Launch Stars” is still possible only a few individuals can use this transportation. But, as previously mentioned, that tale is unimportant and irrelevant to our story.
*Filmed by Dasher Koopa (Though he was highly recommended)…*
The part of that galaxy this tale takes place in is actually Planet Plit. Though its environment is similar to that of Earth’s, many people know that the worlds are almost as different as day and night. This planetoid is famous for unique creatures like the Yoshi and Rat Fink, magical occurrences straight out of a Harry Potter novel, and mushrooms that will make men as tall as skyscrapers. But, the entire planet isn’t this mythical. There are some locations where even the bravest adventurer fears to tread. Such areas are bound to be full of excitement and wonders beyond your very imagination. But, this particular adventure begins in a much safer location.
*Sponsored By “The Hasero Corporation”… Whoever They Are…*
The Mushroom Kingdom. It is the home of the legendary Toadstool Monarchy, which has miraculously survived for generations. Nobody is entirely certain why, seeing as the guards are a dime a dozen, and a tyrant lizard invades every other week just for the opportunity to possibly have a chance to kidnap the princess, if he’s lucky. But, thanks to a legendary hero that cleans pipes in his spare time, this menace is brought to justice every single time. This mustachioed man certainly lives a thrilling life unlike none other. But, he is not the main character, and this is not our setting.
*Dedicated to Dark Koopa, Thumbs, Martin, Dark Knight, Fwipp Deathspeeder, Tiff, the entire Campfire Gang (if it still exists), and everyone else who has ever accepted these particular authors for even the slightest moment of their lives…*
Lemmy’s Land. Though not as popular as one may expect, it is still one of the most famous year-round carnivals run by a Koopaling that has ever existed. This attraction is quite famous for… You know what? Let’s stop stalling for time, and reveal the actual setting!
*The First Of An 8-Part Saga (With any luck)…*
Our true setting, which you are no doubt anxious to know about by this point, is the land of Woosteria. Though it is but a stone’s throw away from the carnival, it is even less known. ‘Tis a shame, for not only are this land’s mostly-human inhabitants quite the wondrous bunch, but it is also the home of the tome known as “Wooster’s Storybook”. Though but a project a butler began at one point, it has grown into an epic tale of legends, and the small fort it was once stored in has turned into a mighty kingdom. One day, in the kingdom’s main street, a man known by his fans as WT decided to perform for a paying audience. He is our main character, and this is where the tale truly begins.
*_ACHT SÜNDEN, BOOK 1: MARLOW THE MAGNIFICENT_*
*Chapter One: Remarkable? Lovable? Unbelievable!*
On that day, ordinary people were just walking down the street, doing whatever it is ordinary people do on a weekend. One person in particular, a sixteen-year-old human boy dressed up like an archer from a fantasy tale, was heading down to the police station. His name was Lancelet, and he dreamed of becoming a lawman. If this was his story, there would be many more details about his life… but it isn’t, so why bother? While he was heading to the station, the lad noticed a rather large crowd blocking his path. As he pushed through the gathering of people, he soon discovered that they were an audience of what appeared to be a random storyteller, who pranced and danced as he told his tale.
After a few minutes, Lancelet had learned a great deal more about the spectacle from not only the performer, but from the awestruck audience surrounding him. This storyteller, clad from head to toe in an orange plumbing suit, went by the name of Marluigi “WT” Wicked. He was supposedly the long-lost twin of a man named Walu…something. That man was supposed to be quite lanky in form and theatrical in style, so it was easy to see the similarities of the two. WT had been abandoned in the jungle when he was just a wee lad, after some bumbling Magikoopa mistook his orange hat for the one that would be worn by some legendary hero. But, long story short, he lived, grew up, and was now entertaining the lot surrounding him.
“…And that, my friends, is the true reason I’ve never held a sword once in my entire life,” the man named Marluigi finished. “Now, what kind of story do you folks want to hear about next? One where I’ve learned a life lesson? One filled with more action than the last Mission Impossible movie? Just raise your hands, and I’ll pick who gets to choose my next tale of myths, magic, and 100 percent me!“
Many people around eagerly raised their hands, most shouting as loud as they could in order to attract attention. But, in this sea of appendages, Lancelet noticed something odd, as did the performer. One raised arm was not an arm at all, but what looked like a rather large spear. That weapon was suddenly tossed upwards, and if Marluigi hadn’t dodged in the nick of time, it would’ve impaled him right through the head. “Hey!” the true star of the story shouted, as he pointed in the direction that the attack had come from. “That ain’t fair play, y’know! Show yourself!”
The audience parted like the Red Sea in that one legend, revealing a red-cloaked Shy Guy in a grass skirt… and, since he had thrown a spear, it didn’t take long to guess that it was one of the subfamilies referred to as Spear Guys. There was also a Goomba clad in a yellow cape. “You no supposed to live, bokum,” the Spear Guy said as they walked towards Marluigi, the Spear Guy picking up his spear as he passed it. “You big mistake, tokum. We hired long time ago to make sure Magikoopa name not ruined, lokum. Deal off for many years, but we never back down from challenge, dokum.” said the Goomba.
“Is that your way of asking for a fight? If so, bring it on! I don’t even need a weapon to beat you, tribe boy and yellow cape!” the performer announced as he threw his cap to the ground and raised his fists. The Spear Guy charged forward first, his spear about to pierce the man, when Marluigi jumped right over both the weapon and its wielder. From right behind the creature, Marluigi dealt a left hook from behind, followed by an upwards kick and then a right hook that hit his foe straight in the stomach. The Spear Guy was down for the count.
The Goomba then crept up from behind Marluigi, but the performer turned and uppercut him. He fell, but got back up and kicked at Marluigi. The orange-clad hero dodged again and again, but eventually one hit nicked him on the kneecap. "A hit! A palpable hit!" a Shakespeare fan in the audience shouted, only to be shushed by another audience member. Marluigi then sweep-kicked the Goomba, knocking that foe down too.
“Nice try, but nobody will ever take me down!” Marluigi announced to the fallen bodies before temporarily breaking into what can only be described as an extremely cheesy song and dance number. “Be! Cause! I’m! Marluigi, the Magnificent! The remarkably, so lovably Magnificent! I’m the unstoppably, respectably, unforgettably, dependably, remarkably, so lovably Magnificent!”
After his little ditty was done, he addressed the crowd, Lancelet included. “Thanks for coming, folks, but it looks like I’ll be busy taking out the trash for a couple of hours. If you’d be kind enough to do so, by the way, could you throw a bit of spare change into the cap? Even legendary heroes like me need some extra dough in case of emergencies, you know!”
As the crowd decreased in size, the amount of cash in Marluigi’s discarded cap increased tremendously. Lancelet would’ve given a few coins himself, but he was currently broke. He just continued on the path he was following earlier, hoping that he wouldn’t be too late for his job interview. And with that, the two-bit character made his last appearance... at least, in this book.
The performer watched with what looked to be a warm smile as people donated a few of their hard-earned dollars and then went on with their day. But, as soon as the last member of the audience left and the actor thought the coast was clear, Marluigi stepped back to the Spear Guy and helped him get to his feet while the Goomba stood up on his own, before checking out his newfound wealth. “Amadeus, Luke, I do say that was the best turnout we ever had,” he uttered as he pulled out a wallet and dumped the coins into it. “I swear, either we’re getting better at this acting stuff, or people are just growing more and more gullible.”
“I admit, Marlow, this business of ours is certainly profitable,” the Spear Guy, apparently named Amadeus, replied as he reached under his cloak and pulled out a bunch of safety padding. “But you’ve got to admit, isn’t all this a tad too… too…”
“Deceitful? Unbelievable, maybe?” the Goomba, known as Lucas Suprion Goomwalker or Super Goomba, answered. “I admit that some of our material is a little farfetched. But we were totally out of money, and we couldn't just go rob a bank or something, could we? Also, if fans didn’t like a Gary Sue, there wouldn’t be a hundred or so of those little buggers running around, would there?”
"Luke, could you try too avoid actually hitting me next time, please? That HURT," asked Marlow.
"Sorry, but I'd rather not remove the weighted invincibility device Ludwig made for me. It stays in my pocket at all times. Tomorrow, I think I will do some more training in the field, so could you act the scene on your own tomorrow morning?" replied Luke. "Then I must head to the post office and check to see if I got a message from Goombario."
The three friends then headed off, not noticing the lone Porcupo following them...
In due time, the three had reached the shady hotel they had been staying in since their first performances in town. Amadeus immediately hit the sack, since acting isn’t as easy as you may think. Luke began reading a book, while Marlow took a few moments to change into his regular clothing and then check his appearance in the nearest mirror.
After successfully finding a looking glass in the bathroom, Marlow made a few notes about himself. He’s a tad tall for his age, with lanky legs and a skinny build. His dark brown eyes were slightly glazed over, indicating either a lack or a love of sleep. His hatless head was topped with chestnut brown hair that had never been combed, and traces of a recently-shaved mustache and goatee are evident. Overall, he was a rather scruffy-looking man.
Of course, his clothes matched that. His tennis shoes were loosely tied, though his cargo pants were not sagging at all. The leather gloves on his hands had the occasional hole in them, and though his unbuttoned coat was already a rather dark shade of his favorite color, you could still see evident mud stains. And on his hip, there was a leather gun holster with a (non-deadly, because this is a T-rated tale at most) revolver securely included. Can’t be too careful out in this world, y’know? Of course, the most prominent feature of this man’s appearance was the color of not only this man’s coat, but almost every other article of clothing he had on. With the single exception of his gloves, which were midnight black, every single article was completely… entirely… orange. It was simply amazing that nobody had ever connected him to Marluigi.
Luke however, who was reading a book entitled "The Edge Chronicles", was a very different person. He appeared as a regular Goomba, except for the obvious fact that he was wearing a yellow cape. Unlike most Goombas he was actually quite powerful and fast, with strength rivaling that of Goku from Dragon Ball and speed rivaling that of Sonic the Hedgehog. He obtained these powers from training with a weighted machine he had received from a scientist known as Ludwig von Koopa. This machine also granted him invincibility in the form of unlimited Cape Feathers and the ability to summon thousands of other Goombas to aid him in battle, though he rarely did that. It was this device that prevented him from damage during the recent scam. He has never revealed why Ludwig gave him said device.
He currently lives in a small house in Dark Land. He is also on neither side of the constant battle between the Koopa army and the Mushroom army. He also gets many visits from many friends, such as Marlow, the Koopalings, Yoshi, Luigi, Doopliss, and many others. The two most common visitors, however, are Goombario Brio Goomthuck and Antius Goombaic Guy, a red Anti Guy who often helps Luke with any legal situations. “How is Antius a red Anti Guy if there is only one gray one?” you ask? Well, that gray was not the only one. There are actually whole tribes of Anti Guys throughout the world. In these tribes it is considered bad luck to be born red instead of gray, so when a tribe elder had a kid who was red, he was ridiculed by everyone. His own parents seemed disappointed in him just for being born! The poor Anti Guy ran away when he was very young and soon met Luke while running through the forest. The rest, as they say, is history! Antius has the image of a Goomba stitched onto his cloak as thanks.
Luke also has a big grudge against hero Mario Mario and tough Koopa Roy Koopa, Mario for squishing every Goomba he sees, and Roy for the first match of the first season of the Sports Hall.
...At least, that was what he had told Marlow. It was hard to swallow, but the lanky man decided not to ask any unwanted questions. After all, some of Marluigi's backstory wasn't much better. And, occasionally, some of it proved to be true.
Amadeus Spearon Guy is also a very different person. He appeared as a regular Spear Guy except for there being a switch on his spear. When pressed, the spear head transforms into a star and his red cloak transforms into gray robes. In this state he is called Amadeus Mageon Guy, and has the powers of black, white, and blue magic (blue being the ability to copy his friends’ or foes’ abilities during a battle). He obtained this ability during an adventure with Luke, Marlow, and many others, in a mansion deep in the heart of Woosteria, but that's another story altogether. And a pretty silly one at that.
Other than the magic thing, he was just your typical Spear Guy. He used to be a member of the little-known Sejam Garga tribe on Lavalala Isle, but decided to become a worldly traveler one day, and simply left. Sadly, the modern world was vastly different from the land he knew, and it wasn't long before he was arrested for his “barbarian” ways. He managed to get off easy and took part in a rehabilitation course... which is the first time he ever met Marlow.
The lanky then-teen had grown up in the desert kingdom of Sasrasaland, and had admired the rivals of a certain mustachioed hero and his little brother ever since he first heard of them. He admired the crooks' free will and determination so much, he imagined that he was a part of their gang. Sadly, this dream turned into full-blown insanity when he started to confuse his actual self with his imaginary persona. When he and Amadeus first met, he was in his final stages of recovery after having been brought in by his parents a month earlier.
When Amadeus and Marlow first met back then, they hit it off instantly. After getting out of the clinic, they remained rather good friends. Then, one day, Marlow decided that the two of them could earn a lot of dough if they acted like Marlow was the man he had thought he was. So, taking on semi-false personas, the two of them took occasional mercenary missions, which led to meeting Luke and getting Amadeus's enchanted spear, and fooled many citizens of many towns into thinking that they were the next generation of heroes. Though, as you might have guessed from earlier, they were usually con men.
“… Perfect,” Marlow commented, back in the present, as he gave his reflection a wink. The man didn't actually change his appearance much; he just straightened his shirt a little. He then walked back into the main section of their hotel room, lay down on the couch there, pulled out his wallet, and began to count their spoils for the day. Halfway through counting, he noticed that, instead of cash, one person had apparently tossed in what looked to be an extremely valuable medallion. “… Sucker,” Marlow remarked as he went back to counting the loot.
Meanwhile, in the castle in the center of the kingdom, there was a bit of a dispute going on between the “king” and his current adviser. The current “king” of the castle was named Markie, and was a blue Yoshi that loved a good party. The term “king” had always been used loosely in the kingdom, though; instead of one person passing on the kingdom to their next of kin, like in the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms, the current king would just give somebody a medallion with the kingdom’s royal crest on it when he wanted to resign, and the gift’s recipient would takeover ASAP. Many of you have already figured out the topic of the dispute, but if you haven’t, try to remember what kind of object Marlow got a paragraph or so above.
“A COMMONER?!” the adviser burst, furious that the king had just given away not only a valuable item, but also his own title, so willingly. The 21-year-old adviser’s name was Endark Larble, and unlike Lancelet, he IS an important part of this story. Endark was your basic Shaman, but with a few unique twists. Firstly, unlike others of his kind, he wasn’t afraid to reveal his face to the world. Said face had green eyes, brownish-blond hair, and a tiny scar under his left ear. Secondly, instead of traditional blue robes, Endark’s were magenta. And thirdly, his biggest defining trait was that, in place of an organic left upper limb, he had a metallic arm and claw.
“A cool commoner!” Markie retorted. “He’s traveled all over the world, knows enough morals to fill a book of fables, and his fighting skills are sweet! Plus, swords are really cliché, and anyone who hates them earns a few points in my book. And if that isn’t enough for you… well, I’m still the king until he shows up, right? I have the power to swallow you whole, toss the resulting egg around the window, and dance around your aching body, and you’d be unable to lay a single hand on me. That is, unless you want to find out firsthand what life imprisonment is like. Now, if you excuse me, my friends Lady Water Kappa, Sir Jorge Closeman, Duke Alexander Von, and Count Junior Doom are throwing me a farewell bash, and I really shouldn’t be tardy.”
“…And people say that I’M the creepiest guy in the castle,” Endark muttered as he watched Markie strut down the hallway, humming the lyrics of some rock and roll song. The adviser then began to walk in the opposite direction, towards the castle’s library. He had once read a book there about how to usurp power from your royal boss (probably placed there by a former evil adviser), and today seemed like a good day to review the material.
It had to be done soon. Porcune Popowa Cupone had to make contact with the three people who just finished putting on the play or the world would most likely end. Yeah, it sounded corny, but this kind of thing wasn't impossible. It was an urgent task, a job given to him by King Porcanas of the Porcupo Kingdom.
If you guessed that Porcune was the Porcupo who had been following Marlow, Lucas, and Amadeus, good job. He hurriedly scuttled through "The Relaxing Mushroom" hotel, only to be mistaken for a dust bunny and swept into a garbage can. He was stuck. Darn, darn, DARN! thought Porcune, as he was then taken away by the garbage man.
*END OF CHAPTER 1*
To Be Continued...
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