Chapter 3: Kongo Jungle
Bowser: I believe the Orb of Light is in Kongo Jungle.
Roy: Kongo Jungle? The script says it’s in Creepy Steeple.
Larry: No. That was the old script.
Pig: The author changed it because people in Twilight Town turning into werewolves is kind of a ripoff of Shady Parakoopa.
Roy: 0_0
Bowser: Didn’t I tell you last chapter to stop the faces?
Larry: Are we going to Kongo Jungle, or are we going to change the name of the chapter to “The Talkie Chapter?”
Roy: Hamburger.
At Kongo Jungle the team ran into a little problem. “Klaptraps, skeletal,” said a very serious Larry. “Pig, take the left, Roy, take forward, and I’ll take front.”
Roy: You forgot we can’t end their games, didn’t you?
Larry: Maybe. Fine, run forward and KO anyone in your way.
The trio took Larry’s advice and ran… over a waterfall. Three platforms from the Super Smash Bros. Series lifted them up to the ground. All of a sudden a voice spoke.
Voice: You have each wasted one of your three stock. You will join the skeletons if you lose all your stock.
Larry was deep in thought.
Larry: Hmmm, let’s try throwing the Klaptraps off the waterfall.
Later, with all the Klaptraps down and none, to go the trio moved on.
Kackle: We are the Kritters Three, and our type of battle is RPG.
This Kackle appeared with a Kritter and a Kutlass.
RPG BATTLE TIME
Pig Koopa: 35
Larry: 20
Roy: 30
Vs.
Kackle: 50
Kritter: 15
Kutlass: 25
Pig uses Mud Slap on Kritter. 15 damage.
Roy uses Charge.
Larry summons Piranha Plant.
Kackle uses Slice-a-Dice on Larry.
15 damage.
Kutlass uses Slice-a-Dice on Piranha
Plant and Roy. 10 damage each.
Pig: 35
Larry: 5
Roy: 20
Piranha Plant: 5
Vs.
Kackle: 50
Kutlass: 25
Roy uses Mega Punch on Kackle. 50 DAMAGE.
Larry uses M. Bush Toss. 15 damage.
Pig uses Squiglet Call.
Piranha uses bite. 10 damage.
Fight over. Winner: Bowser Trio.
Kritters Three: DK will not be pleased.
The defeated foes ran off towards DK.
Will the anti-heroes survive DK’s wrath?
Does he have the Light Orb? Will there be more RPG battles in the future?
Stay tuned to find out.
Chapter 4: Donkey Kong
Larry: Just DK shouldn’t be too hard.
When he said that, Lanky, Tiny, Diddy, and Chunky Kong appeared out of nowhere.
Larry: Darn.
For some reason the DK rap started playing. The fight began when a Squiglet hit Diddy Kong in the head. Whenever the DK Rap says something it happens, e.g, “His coconut gun can fire in spurts! If it shoots you, it’s gonna hurt” At that part Roy got hit in head with a coconut from DK’s coconut gun. After our anti-heroes received a brutal beating Larry came up with a plan.
Larry: Pig, send a Squiglet to destroy the source of the music.
Pig: Do you know where it’s coming from?
Pig said this as he got hit by a peanut from Diddy’s peanut popgun.
Pig: MMMMMMMMM. Edible ammunition, haven’t seen that since March 9th.
Larry: Try over *looks around* there.
Larry said this as he spotted the radio on Cranky’s porch.
Spuiglet #1: Got it.
He destroyed the radio, and the music stopped.
Pig: Time for a talk scene.
DK: What have you come for?
Roy: The Orb of Light.
DK: What? Oh, you mean this.
He pulled out a bright yellow orb and it flashed.
Pig: Why must we be anti-heroes? Why? DAD, please make it stop.
DAD: I don’t feel like it.
DK: How do you like it now? HaHa.
Roy: Like this.
He punched DK from behind.
Roy: You forgot about me ‘cause I had the mumps.
Larry: Weren’t you with us, like, two seconds ago?
Roy: Yeah, but I still had the mumps.
Captain Underpants: Tra la-laaaaaaaaaa.
Tiny: Die.
She hit him over the head with a… ponytail?
Tiny: Stop making fun of me.
Larry: Hamburger.
Tiny: WHAT?
Larry: I’m giving you the curse of the hamburger. In the next chapter you have to make an appearance and say hamburger to someone else.
Tiny: And it keeps going on through the entire story?
Larry: Pretty much. Plus you can’t say it to someone who has already had it.
Tiny: Is that a running gag or something?
Larry: Exactly. This is getting boring. Skip to someone else.
Lanky took out his grape blowgun and aimed at Larry, but a Squiglet jumped in and broke the shooter. The Squiglet threw half of it away and the other half to Roy. Roy took it and shoved Lanky off the cliff.
Pig: Why did you do that, Roy?
Roy: Because he has no style, he has no grace…
Larry (annoyed(: Not this song again. This is the second time in the same chapter.
Roy: Fine, I’ll stop. Die Tiny!
And with that Roy shoved her off.
Dixie Kong: You don’t treat my sis like that.
Pig: When did you get here, ugly?
Dixie Kong disappeared.
Diddy Kong (flying around): You don’t talk to my girlfriend that way.
Chunky: Donkey Kong Junior ripoff!
Diddy Kong crashed into a tree.
Donkey: Chunky, you don’t talk to my nephew that way.
The 2 then proceeded to beat each other up.
Larry: Well our work here is done.
Why did Chunky trash-talk Diddy?
Chunky: Because I was only mentioned once before that.
Will Tiny appear in the next chapter
for the running gag? Did our anti-heroes forget about the Orb of Light?
Why are there so few questions? See you next time.
Chapter 5: Back in Black
As soon as they got back to Bowser’s castle, and in black, they walked up to the hole.
Larry: Darn! We forgot the Orb of Light.
Pig Koopa: No we didn’t.
Pig Koopa grinned as he pulled out the Orb.
Roy: I would have pounded both of you if we had to go back.
Pig laughed.
Pig: Correction. You would have pounded us both after we rescued Lemmy, if we forgot that.
Roy: Oh shut up.
After they told Bowser what happened, they went back into the pit.
Dry Bones: Intrude-AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Tiny Kong: Hamburger.
Dry Bones: Darn it.
Roy: That was random.
Pig: Just like the rest of this chapter.
Larry: How do you know that?
Pig: I’m the author.
Roy: NOW U TELL US.
Larry: Let’s just go.
The next room was a sports stadium with skeletons playing Yooyuball. It was Dry Bones vs. Skelokeys.
Bones (from the stands): Go Dry Bones. You’re one point behind.
Keyman (next to Bones): Guard the ball for 29 seconds and you win.
Larry: Let’s go under the bleachers and to the next room.
Roy: Easy for you to say.
The group went under the bleachers, but Pig and Roy got pretty hurt.
Pig: Let’s never do that again, ok?
Roy agreed. In the next room there was a projector and a note.
Roy (you guessed it): Hey look, a note.
Watch this video to move on.
They turned on the video and it was… They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard.
Pig: Don’t worry; there will be a lot more of this in this chapter. P
After a pointless 2:09 minutes, the video was over. The anti-heroes went into the next room, where they were playing another game a lot of people haven’t heard of:. American Football.
Larry: Skeletons playing Football? They’ll kill each, I mean, break each other to pieces.
Just then the football missed the uprights and flew into Larry’s hands.
Larry: Um, guys… You take it.
He passed the ballto Roy. Roy ran through all the football players, who were charging for the ball, and knocked them out. He then scored a touchdown.
Roy: Yo guys, don’t just wait for them to get back up.
They followed Roy to the next room.
Larry: Wait. I want the next room to be a fight scene.
Pig: Fine.
In the next room Pig took out the Orb of Light and melted the Bones.
Larry: 0_0
In the next room Lemmy fired his Freeze Gun at the Orb. Then Bones threw a bone at it, causing it to break, plus lots of Dry Bones surrounded Pig, Larry, and Roy.
Roy: That last sentence was rigged.
Lemmy: Prepare to have your game ended.
Just then Yux burst through the wall.
Yux: Randomizer! The good news is…
Lemmy: You have one more hour to live.
Yux: The bad news is…
Lemmy: Yu shall have nothing to do but read three books from the Real World. A Book About War, War of the Worlds, and Lord of the Rings: The Twin Towers.
All Three: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Yux left. Soon, the trio were in a cell.
Roy: What are we going to do?
Pig: Well I know a game where everybody has a book. They all turn to a random page and when it is your turn you say a line on that page. I’ll go first. “Sir, the enemy is here. BAM BAM BAM. ARRRRRRGGGGGG.”
Roy: Oh my DAD, what is that thinZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP.
Larry: They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard.
Roy: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not Isengard. Anything but Isengard.
Pig: Do you even know what Isengard is?
Roy: No, it just sounds torturous.
Pig: This will be one lonnnnngggggggg hour.
Roy: Hey you, Guard. Why did you take Lemmy as a king?
Guard: Let’s face it. Lemmy has the best website out of all the koopalings. We plan to make it into LemmyBones.com and then, starting with that website, takeover the Web. After the Web, the whole world.
Pig: What a stupid guard. He spilled all the beans.
Meanwhile in Bowser’s study Bowser was watching They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard…
I'm too lazy to ask questions this chapter.
To Be Continued...
| If you would like to send some feedback
to the author of this submission, please complete this form.
What's your name?
What's your Email address?
How do you rate this submission?
Does this submission belong in Little
Lemmy's Land?
Would you like to see more from this author? Comments and suggestions:
|
