Now to the dark part. Camera guy, roll film.
Mario is, wait, Toad screaming like a two year old girl, no, Mario whacking Bowser with a shovel, no, the credits are rolling, wait! You went too far. The scene changes to where we left off. Now that’s better!
Mario: Did something just happen? I must be in La la Land.
Mario walks up to his Shy Guy.
Shy Guy: The army is retreating sir.
Mario: Good, head back now.
In Bowser’s castle…
Bowser: Smithy! Smithy! SMITHY!!!
Smithy comes in covered in oil.
Smithy: Can’t you see I’m in the middle of an oil bath?
Bowser grabs Smithy’s shirt and pulls him up to his face.
Bowser: The only reason I allow you in here is because you built the greatest type of speared cyborg ever. If you didn’t and you were in here you would be climbing Exor back to your factory!
Smithy: Yes, I know!
Bowser: Time for phase 2!
Smithy falls down, losing an arm. He grabs it and walks off, but not until Jojora arrives covered with dirt and rocks.
Bowser: Well? Did you beat Mario?
Jojora: No, and I nearly died fighting him!
Bowser: Go to the… On second thought, wait here. Agents, get down to the fifth floor corridor now!
In a few minutes Mr. L and Grievodvich run in.
Bowser: I want the strongest of you to be general. You three will compete for the position by fighting each other. You may use any methods necessary. Now get in that room.
All three go in the gym and Bowser and Smithy wait outside playing Whack a Mario for five hours while hearing screams and shrieks from all three; but in the end Grievodivch comes out.
Bowser: You have done well!
Grievodivch: Thank you, Bowser!
Bowser: Because of your efforts, I now appoint you SUPREME COMMANDER!
Four days later…
A giant storm approaches Toad Town as General Guy and Lewis walk back from a victory in the Toy Box.
General Guy: We must get inside before this storm starts.
Inside the castle, Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi are sitting down after they all have come back from the battles.
Mario: We must protect the town.
Lightning strikes a few miles away from the castle.
Luigi: What will we do?
Wario: We pound that Bowser and call it a day.
Waluigi: Uh, I was going to say that.
Mario: They’re on the move, and they’re definitely out there. We have to defend ourselves.
Back at the other castle, Bowser interrupts a fencing match in the gym.
Bowser: Well done, Grievodvich, you have down well. Are your troops ready for the invasion?
Grievodvich: Yes I have, Lord Bowser. What else?
Bowser: We also have to have bait too, and that’s why I kidnapped Princess Peach.
Smithy: Let’s start the invasion.
Bowser: I want every troop to the doomships now! Agents, follow me.
At Mushroom Castle, Mario is discussing an evacuation plan.
Mario: This is the worst war since Morton Sr. invaded the kingdom. We must evacuate!
Toad runs in, tired and scared.
Toad: Koopas! The Koopas are here with a fully armed invasion army! We must get out! I thought you ought to know!
Toad faints and everyone screams and panics.
Mario: Silence!!! All right, here’s the plan. Toadsworth and E. Gadd will lead a group of townsfolk to an underground pipe to Flipside. They will be safe there, alert Merlon, and tell him to move to his Flipside home. Waluigi and Luigi, you and a few Shy Guys will relocate the other townsfolk to Sarasaland. Take residence at Daisy’s castle and explain the situation.
Luigi: How will we get there before the Koopas find us?
Mario: Take the Shy Guy’s Perplex Express and don’t send any messages. General Guy, get your Toy Box army and help defend the city. Everyone else follow me to Town Square.
20 minutes later in Town Square, Mario is talking to Toadsworth.
Toadsworth: All possible townsfolk are underground.
Mario: Merlon will show you to Flipside, just follow him.
Toadsworth climbs down the manhole and the Shy Guy Perplex Express leaves town, and with that everyone is gone but Mario, Wario, Lewis, General Guy, and the incoming Shy Guys. A doomship engine is heard and the entire crowd of Goombas, Troopas, Hammer Bros, Boomerang Bros, Fire Bros, Chain Chomps, angry Wigglers, and more march into Mushroom City, marking the start of a battle. Mario kicks away a Fire Bro. Wario farts, making some Koopa Troopas fall the ground dead. Inside the doomship, Bowser overlooks the battle.
Bowser: Agents, keep the generals going. You too, Supreme Commander.
Mr. L, Jojora, and Grievodvich drop down and knock out some Shy Guys. Lewis looks at Grievodvich, who looks back at him. Lewis steps back as Grievodvich charges to claw him, but Mario jumps in the way and knocks him into General Guy’s tank, or to be specific, his gun, as General Guy launches him into the control room of the doomship, shattering the glass. Bowser sees him on the ground. Grievodvich jumps out at Mario, who doesn’t notice and gets hit in the stomach.
Grievodvich: Even Mario the superstar can’t defeat me! Ha ha ha!
Mario winks at him and kicks him over to a house, where a vase falls on him. He jumps back over to Mario, who jumps out of the way and looks over at Grievodvich, who stares at him with his cold-hearted smile. Mario jumps over and Griedovich screeches at him and throws a rock. Mario then sees the stork from Yoshi’s Island holding a sword in his mouth. He drops it toward Mario, who catches it and attacks Grievodvich, who draws out his spear and counters Mario. Mario stabs his monocle and Griedovich is stunned, giving Mario some time to stab his chest, which messes with his wire. Knowing he cannot win, Grievodvich flees to a doomship. Jojora enters a manhole and Mr. L sneaks under the Shy Guy’s Perplex Express. Luigi doesn’t notice, and in the sewers, we find Merlon guiding E. Gadd and some other Toads to Flipside.
Merlon: I sense a disturbance. Aha!
Jojora jumps out of nowhere and attacks Merlon, who flies toward the back of the wall.
Jojora: Well old man! Have at you!
Merlon: Don’t call ME an old man. I am one of the greatest magicians in the world, so be quiet.
E. Gadd: Maybe I should fight her?
Merlon: Step aside, everyone, and take the map while I deal with her.
Merlon takes off his cloak and trims his beard a little and pulls out his wand. Jojora pulls out her wand. Merlon shoots a flame, setting Jojora on fire. She jumps in sewer water and comes out.
Merlon: This is one I learned from Merlee.
Merlon snaps his fingers and throws a lightning bolt at her.
Jojora: Ha! You call that a spell? You caught me off-guard, but now I will be serious, old man. You don’t know THIS ONE!
Jojora summons a big wave of water and throws it at Merlon, who is hit. She throws a wave of rocks at Merlon, hitting him in the shoulder.
Merlon: Time to end this!
Jojora: Freeze frame!
Merlon: Fire senzora!
The two spells collide with neither gaining the upper hand. Merlon extends his wand, giving Jojora a harder time, but she screams with power, increasing her ice power. Merlon he uses his ancient magic to drive Jojora back and onto the ground.
Jojora: You may have defeated me, but I shall return!
Jojora flies away.
Meanwhile…
Luigi is on the Shy Guy’s Perplex Express. Conductor Guy tells Luigi something.
Conductor Guy: Something is not right at all!
Luigi: I know, just get the passengers to sleep and we’ll be fine.
Conductor Guy: Where are you going?
Luigi: To bed! It’s midnight already! Good night.
Conductor Guy: Good night.
Luigi sleeps in bed, not knowing where Waluigi is. The next morning he sees no passengers, just the conductor driving the train.
Luigi: Where is everybody?
Conductor Guy: There’s no one here but us?
Luigi nods. He sees a face peek out the window. It’s Mr. L with an oilcan.
Luigi: It’s Mr. L! He has the passengers! Stay here, I’ll deal with him.
Luigi climbs up the ladder leading to the top of the train, where all the passengers including Waluigi are tied up in ropes.
Luigi: Come here, you no-good clone!
Mr. L: I’m here already! I was preparing the show. Look where we are, on top of a train. I’m sorry, this may hurt me more than it will hurt you. It’s time to end our relationship.
Luigi: I’m happy to have this happen.
Mr. L jumps and sprays oil over the window, leaving the window covered and the conductor unable to see where they’re going.
Luigi: I’ll teach you a lesson!
Mr. L pulls out a remote and presses a button, causing snow to fall.
Luigi: Snow? It can’t be snowing, it’s August!
Mr. L: Bowser put up a weather satellite for it to snow so you would freeze.
Luigi tackles Mr. L and they roll around the train. Mr. L rolls over as Luigi let’s go of him, and Mr. L hurls him over the edge of the train, but Luigi grabs on to a door handle and climbs up the side. He jumps up and kicks Mr. L all the way to the satellite, destroying it and leaving Mr. L flying away yelling.
Mr. L: You got lucky but it won’t happen next time!
Mr. L flies out of sight.
Several hours later Luigi is sitting on his bed and Waluigi comes in the room.
Waluigi: Some fight, huh?
Luigi: Yes, but it’s not over yet.
Meanwhile at Bowser’s castle in the throne room, Bowser is sitting on his throne with Smithy fixing Grievodvich. Jojora is in the medical room recovering from her loss.
Bowser: Has Mr. L reported in yet?
Smithy: He just entered the castle five minutes ago.
Mr. L, pulling himself on a wheelchair, comes into the room.
Mr. L: *moan* I *cough* failed to assassinate Luigi and Waluigi. What is your bidding?
Bowser: Write a 2,000-page report on how you must destroy Mario and his friends.
Mr. L: Yes sir!
Bowser: You, Hammer Bro! Help Mr. L back to the medical room.