Prologue: The End of Stupidity’s Reign
At Star Haven, the Star Spirits are
doin’ their thing, namely sitting there doing nothing while judging some
loser’s Mario Party 5
game.
Eldstar: *sigh* Isn’t life boring since Shr-
Muskular jumps in front of Eldstar and covers his mouth.
Muskular: Shh, fool! Do you want to
spoil the plot of the author’s next FF if Shrugger’s Adventure comes in
first in the next “What
should I do next?” poll?
Eldstar: Guess not.
Suddenly, Mr. L and Toadette pop out of nowhere!
Klevar: *yawn* Whaddaya want?
Mr. L: To steal the Star Rod and rid
the world of the two stupidest kingdoms in the history of Plit: the Mushroom
and Koopa
Kingdoms. And a bunch of stupid people
that aren’t in either.
Skolar: Not a chance…
Skolar touches Toadette.
RPG Battle!
Mamar: What’s that?
Role-Playing Dumb Battle!
Mamar: Oh.
Eldstar: 5 HP
Mamar: 3 HP
Skolar: 7 HP
Muskular: 10 HP
Misstar: 7 HP
Klevar: 5 HP
Kalmar: 1 HP
Vs.
Mr. L: 25 HP
Toadette: 20 HP
All of the Star Spirits used Poke at the same time! 0.5 damage!
Mr. L used DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!! The Star Spirits take infinity damage!
BATTLE END!
Mr. L gets 7 Star Cards and the Star
Rod!
Mr. L: BWAHAHAHA!
Mr. L jumps in Brobot and leaves.
Meanwhile…
Parakarry: MAIL CALL!
Lemmy: Get it, Morton.
Larry: Morton isn’t here.
Lemmy: Get it, Roy.
Larry: Roy isn’t here.
Lemmy: Get it, Kammy.
Larry: Kammy isn’t here.
This goes on for a while, Lemmy listing everybody in any universe except for himself and Larry.
Lemmy: Get it, Lemmy.
Lemmy: K.
Larry: …
Lemmy walks over to his mailbox, presses the “Convert” button, walks over to his computer, and checks his Email.
Lemmy: What do we have here… A bazillion
interviews from Fireball, Email from Shrugger Shroob with some stupid FF
named
Paper Larry, but reports – I thought
I fixed those, letter from King Dad about something or another, some submissions
I’ve already
seen… (The list goes on and on, so
I’ll spare you by just putting this here)… and that’s it. Nothing out of
the ordinary.
Larry: (fighting Tabuu on SSBB on Intense
difficulty and doing pretty well) What’s the letter from King Dad? Is his
anger over with
so we can get out of here and go back
to the castle?
Lemmy: No, he’s just forced us to go
to the castle and welcome Susan for her
5465645645645645645645645689789791231456475656489765456th
visit.
Larry: (losing last life from Off Ring while holding a trophy stand and Tabuu only has a millimeter of HP left) Susan? Oh DAD no…
Lemmy: Oh yes. And he says he’ll put
us in Yoshi costumes and hand us over to Shrugger Shroob if we’re late,
so we’d better get
there.
Lemmy drags Larry to the mini-doomship and blasts off for Bowser’s Castle.
At the castle…
Bowser: THERE YOU ARE! Lemmy, I want you to go greet Susan’s father while Larry goes and greets Susan!
Larry: *groan* Why do I have to go…?
Bowser: Susan is crying in the throne room that she needs her Larry-kins! NOW GET GOING!
Bowser grabs Larry and chucks him up to the throne room.
Susan: THERE you are, my Larry-kins!
Larry: Okay Susan, I know this won’t work, but I don’t really care. Here it is: I. Don’t. Like. You. There, I’ve said it. Now, GET OUT OF MY FACE!
Susan: *sniff* You… don’t… like me?
Larry: NO, and don’t do what I know you’re going to do…
Susan is rolling around on the floor, crying.
Larry: … Great.
Bowser (from downstairs): LARRY! I’M
COMING UP AND IF SUSAN IS THROWING A FIT, THEN (censored so your mind will
be
spared from the impurity that is this
punishment. Yes, I stole that from Shady Parakoopa)!!!
Larry: … %$%$#.
MARCH… MARCH…
Susan: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Suddenly, Susan gets herself up, runs over to a window, opens it, and stands on the ledge.
Susan: SAY YOU LIKE ME RIGHT NOW, LARRY!
MARCH… MARCH…
Larry: But I don’t!
Susan: Then my life has no meaning. Goodbye, cruel world…
Susan jumps… but lands on Mr. L’s Brobot.
Larry: …
Mr. L: AHHHH! A Koopaling-sized hail ball has just fallen on us! Quick! Get to the castle!
Just as the Brobot crashlands with Susan in the throne room, a very angry Bowser opens the door.
Bowser: LARRY!!!
Larry: *whimper*
Mr. L: Everyone, HALT! In the name of all that is not stupid!
Bowser: Not now! I have to punish my son for upsetting my niece!
Mr. L: *chuckle* In a minute, that will be the least of your problems.
Mr. L snaps his fingers, and two R.O.Bs come out of the wreckage of the Brobot carrying a Subspace Bomb. The two set the bomb in front of the throne and activate it.
Larry, Susan, and Bowser: Oh snap…
Lemmy (who somehow got here): Crackle, Pop! Rice Krispies!
All except Lemmy: …
Bowser: ROAR! You dare destroy my castle?! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!!!
Bowser turns into Giga Bowser… but destroys the floors below him and is sent flying to the core of Plit.
Giga Bowser: I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS… *twink*
Larry: Why are you destroying the castle?
Mr. L: You know very well that this
kingdom is overflowing with stupidity, just like the Mushroom Kingdom.
So I have started an
organization to get rid of Plitian
stupidity.
Lemmy: But you can’t do that! Half of the planet’s charm is in its sheer stupidity!
Mr. L: I’m evil. Don’t care.
Susan and Lemmy: Stop him, Larry!
Larry: Why me?
Susan and Lemmy: Because!
Susan grabs Larry and touches Mr. L with him.
RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 20 HP
Vs.
Mr. L: 25 HP
Toadette: 20 HP
Mr. L: Don’t need you right now, my mage.
Toadette: K.
Toadette walked away!
Larry used Racket Smack! 1 Damage!
Mr. L used Jump! 1 Damage!
Larry used Racket Smack! 1 Damage!
Mr. L used Jump! 1 Damage!
Larry used Racket Smack! 1 Damage!
Mr. L used Jump! 1 Damage!
Larry used Racket Smack! 1 Damage!
Mr. L used Jump! 1 Damage!
Larry used Racket Smack! 1 Damage!
Mr. L: Yawn, boring. Let’s speed things
up a bit.
Mr. L used STAR POWER! Mr. L’s ATK
raised by 1,000,000! Mr. L’s DEF raised by 1,000,000!
Larry used 0_0! No damage!
Mr. L used Poke! 500,000 damage!
BATTLE END!
Mr. L gets 11,184 Koopaling votes!
Mr. L: Now to take this loser out of commission.
Pokémon Trainer from Hoenn: Hariyama! Use Submission!
All: …
… Anyways, Mr. L grabs Lemmy by the knees.
Lemmy: Hey, what are you-
Mr. L uses Lemmy as a battering ram
to knock Larry out of the castle and for some reason to Goomba Village.
Mr. L then throws
Lemmy to, by pure coincidence, his
house. The Subspace Bomb then explodes.
BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!
Flavio: Bassa boom, festival!
Existence: …
At Goomba Village…
Larry is out cold, when the Seven Stupid Star Spirits appear.
The SSSS: Hey!
Shrugger Shroob: CUT! WHAT IS WITH YOU,
SSSS?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY SOME SAPPY LINES BEFORE REVIVING
LARRY, NOT SAY “HEY!”
The SSSS: Sorry.
Eldstar: Anyway, since this guy’s name appears in the title of the FF, we have to revive him.
Others: Drat.
Misstar: Well, let’s get this over with…
The Seven Stupid Star Spirits do some insanely crazy magic ritual. Unfortunately, Larry doesn’t wake up.
Mamar: Um… Mr. Eldstar? This guy…
Mamar looks around, seeing that the other Star Spirits have disappeared.
Mamar: Umm…
She vanishes herself. After Mamar leaves, a female Goomba comes in and sees Larry.
Goomba: Oh my DAD… Goompapa! Goombario! Goomama! Goompa! Gooma! Come here QUICK!
The said Goombas rush into the clearing.
Goompa: What is it, Goombaria?!
Goombaria moves aside so that her family
can see Larry. Upon seeing him, the rest of the family gets demonic flames
in their
eyes…
3 days later…
An illusion of Muskular appears in Larry’s face, which is in an unknown area.
Muskular: Guy, in case you didn’t know, you’re in a Paper Mario parody. That means that you’re our best hope of being freed.
Larry: Zzz… But… Zzz… Why… should I… Zzz…
Muskular: Star Beam.
Larry: Oh…
Muskular: Go to Shooting Star Summit if you want to live.
The illusion disappears, and a gray Goomba walks into the room or whatever it is.
Goomba: Hmm… Zhe seems to be waking… Might az well finish ze job.
The Goomba takes a gigantic sword and swings it at the ground just to the left of Larry.
Larry: (waking up) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Goomba: Quiet, you fool! Zhey’ll find us if you’re too loud!
Larry: HELP! THERE’S A PSYCHO GOOMBA IN HERE TRYING TO KILL ME!
Goompapa: What was that?
Goomba: (covering Larry’s mouth with his sword) Zone of zhose ridiculous disembodied voices?
Goompapa: Oh. Thanks for telling me!
Goompapa walks away.
Larry: Who… Who are you?
Goomba: Oh, PLEAZE tell me zou know.
Larry shakes his head no.
Goomba: ZOOK, I’M MR. LITTLE, ALL RIGHT?
Larry: Oh. Anyway, why does it look like we’re underground?
Mr. Little: *sigh* Dude, you’re ze biggest
idiot I have eveir seen. Becauze we are. We both conquered Grass Land onze
in zour
lives. Goomba Village is a formeir
part of Grass Land.
Larry: Oh. Anyway, I need to get to some place called Shooting Star Summit, so if you will just show me the exit I will be leaving.
Mr. Little: … Zou are crazy. Ze will be boiled alive if zhey catch us!
Larry: … Why in the world did you say “Us” instead of “You“?
Mr. Little: Becauze I’m joining your party.
Mr. Little joined the party!
Mr. Little: A Primer
In the field, Mr. Little can stab
stuff with his sword and criticize Larry for not knowing about something,
then tell all about it! In battle, he can do the exact same things!
Larry: Ah. Can we go now?
Mr. Little: Only through ze pipe.
Larry: Already been there. Mario clogged it up with cheese.
Mr. Little: But how did zou… Neveir mind.
Larry and Mr. Little exit the Underground
Lair and head into Goomba Village. They use their super-stealthiness to
sneak by all of
the Goombas until the exit. They’re
about to leave, but then Toadette shows up.
Toadette: WHAT?! YOU’RE STILL ALIVE, LARRY?! … Well, at least I can halt your progress.
Toadette makes a ridiculously weak block to block the exit.
Mr. Little: Zou’re kidding, right?
Mr. Little effortlessly destroys the block with his sword.
Toadette: *snicker* Actually, I was. The real way I blocked you is located right behind you.
Toadette flies away on her broom.
Larry: What was she talking about? *looks around* Oh SNAP…
Behind them is an angry family of Goombas.
Goombario: Crackle, POP! Rice Krispies!
Larry and Mr. Little run for their lives until they reach Goomboss’ old castle, where the bridge is out, leaving our heroes cornered.
Goompapa: This is the end for you two!
Larry: Not a chance!
He touches Goombario.
RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 20 HP
Mr. Little: 15 HP
Vs.
Goombario: 10 HP
Goombaria: 7 HP
Gooma: 6 HP
Goompa: 5 HP
Goomama: 12 HP
Goompapa: 15 HP
Larry used Power Shell! 3 damage to all opponents!
Mr. Little used Sworderang! 4+4 damage to all opponents! All except Goomama and Goompapa have fainted!
Goomama used Scold! 1 damage to Mr. Little!
Goompapa used Swats! 15 damage to Larry!
Larry used Power Shell! Not enough FP!
Larry: Oops.
Mr. Little used Sword Smack! 3 damage to Goomama! Goomama fainted!
Goompapa used Swats! Larry countered by using Call Lawyer! 546,564,546,546,546 damage! Goompapa fainted!
BATTLE END!
Larry gets Absolutely Nothing!
Mr. Little: Well, zhere is one probleim less.
Larry: Yeah. One question, how are we gonna cross the gap?
Mr. Little: Simple. Ze shake this bush and a switch comes out…
Mr. Little shakes the bush… but the only thing to pop out is a random Yoshi.
Mr. Little: WHAT HAPPENED TO ZE SWITCH?!
Random Yoshi: Hmm… Random Yoshi has a flashback, wanna see it?
Larry: Guess so.
FLASHBACK!
The Yoshi is searching for food at the castle. He creeps past the switch bush, noticing something blue.
Random Yoshi: Did Random Yoshi just see blueberry?
The Yoshi checks. He finds the switch,
but thinks it’s a blueberry, so he eats it. He then hears something, and
dives into the bush
to hide.
END FLASHBACK!
Larry and Mr. Little: …
Shrugger Shroob: THIS IS ONE REASON WHY I HATE YOSHIS.
Shrugger Shroob hits the Yoshi with a Homerun Bat, then goes back to Shhwonk Fortress.
Larry: Well, how are we supposed to get to Toad Town now?
Mr. Little: Simpile.
Mr. Little puts a sign next to the chasm
and throws his sword above it. Using the power of architecture, he builds
a house behind
the sign, which causes a sparkly light
to surround the midair sword. The sword freezes in place, just as Mr. Little
takes out another sword and pokes the sign with it.
Message Box That Just Appeared: Draw a bridge to help you across the chasm!
A screen appears with various colors
and tools. Mr. Little pokes Black and a bucket, then pokes an outline of
a bridge. The outline
turns black. Mr. Little then presses
B and then A on his DS. When they go back to the regular screen, a black
bridge has been built
above the chasm.
Larry: … How on Plit did you do that?
Mr. Little: Simple references to Drawn to Life, Animal Crossing 1, and Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King.
Larry: … Ok.
The duo proceed.
MR. L’S SIDE!
Mr. L: … What did you say, Toadette?
Toadette: I said that the Goomba Family couldn’t stop the Koopaling.
Mr. L: … Bother… Anyway, which Star Spirit will Larry most likely go after first?
Toadette: Probably Muskular. He’s the one who told him to go to Shooting Star Summit.
Mr. L: How do we know about that conversation?
Toadette: … I have absolutely no idea…
Mr. L: … Neither do I… Anyway, the Shy Guys are our most loyal operatives, so we shouldn’t need to send anything to stop him.
Toadette: So, don’t do anything?
Mr. L: Nope.
SUSAN’S SIDE!
Susan: *sigh* Great… Koopa Castle has
been engulfed by Subspace… I’m the only non-generic Koopa here… and *sniff*
LARRY
DOESN’T LIKE ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Toad Guard: Keep it down in there, would you? My ears are bleeding!
Susan: Oh… I wish someone would help me, but no one can get into Subspace…
Suddenly, an ominous, star-shaped thing flies through the window!
Susan: *GASP* No… Not one of you…
Star-thing: Yeah, I’m a Staryu. DEAL
WITH IT. Anyway, I’ve been sent to this dump in the middle of Subspace
so I can help you out.
SO WHAYDAYA WANT?!
Susan: Um… Could you take the Star Rod from Mr. L?
Staryu: No can do. I’m a wimpy STARYU, for crying out loud. If I was a Starmie, maybe, but I’m not. Anything else you want?
Susan: Maybe if you’d help me escape?
Staryu: No can do. The only three ways
out of Subspace are defeating Tabuu, using the legendary Subspace Key,
or star power,
and even then, only Star Beings can
do it, AND THEY CAN’T TAKE ANYONE WITH THEM. Tabuu’s way too tough, and
the
Subspace Key is broken and can only
be remade by the Star Spirits.
Susan: Then can you give Larry this?
Susan hands the Staryu a small package.
Staryu: Ok. Going now…
The Staryu leaves.
BACK TO LARRY’S SIDE!
Larry: … Why have we been standing here for two pages?
Mr. Little: No clue.
The duo get to Toad Town.
Random Bystander: Hi! Welcome to Toad Town!
Larry: … Don’t you recognize me?
Random Bystander: Nope! You do look like Bowser Jr. a bit, though…
Mr. Little: And what about mwa?
Random Bystander: … I have never seen somebody who looks like you in my entire life.
The random bystander walks away. The duo continue until another bystander walks up to them and talks.
Random Bystander: *GASP* Have you heard? Mushroom Castle has been whisked to Subspace!
Larry and Co: WHAT?
RB: Yeah! Word is that Luigi and 75 percent of the Kingdom’s Toads got fed up with us and betrayed us!
Larry and Mr. Little’s jaws drop. They immediately run to the site of the former castle to see if they can get in.
Larry: Can’t… get… in…
The two collapse.
Mr. Little: Great… How… are… ze… supposed… to… get… in… now…?
The illusion of Muskular appears again.
Muskular: I’m tired of waiting, so I’m sending you up, ok? Good. MUSKU…PAUNCH!!!
The duo are blasted to the top of the summit.
Eldstar: Ah, there you are!
Mamar: Look, listen carefully.
Navi: Hey!
KA-STAR STORM!
Mamar: Thanks, Skolar.
Skolar: You’re welcome. Anyway, Mr. L turned us into cards, took the Star Rod, and just generally made a big mess again, like your father a LONG time ago.
As if on cue, Bowser (no longer Giga) gets blasted up, then falls down.
Bowser: AHHHHH!!!
Muskular: So you’ve got to rescue us so we can give you the power to use Star Beam.
Misstar: And give you another object, the only way into these particular Subspace bubbles.
Klevar: The Subspace Key.
Thunder, lightning, suspenseful music, the whole shebang, sponsored by Cheesy Special FX Inc. That means I am BOB. Sweet!
Kalmar: … Anyway, GET TO IT! Muskular here is imprisoned in Shy Guy’s Toybox, so go there first.
The duo head down the summit. Once they reach the bottom…
Staryu: AHHH…
Staryu impales Mr. Little.
Staryu: Sorry. Haven’t gotten used to all this teleportation stuff yet. ANYWAY, do you answer to the name of Larry Koopa?
Larry: Uh… Yes?
Staryu: Good. Some Susan B. told me to give you this.
The Staryu gives Larry the package. Larry opens it and finds a Lucky Star and a note.
Larry: … Tell Susan that I already know how to use action commands, AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON’T LIKE HER.
Staryu: K.
Staryu turns around… and runs into a Wizzerd.
All: …
Wizzerd: GAHH! You discovered… Wait. I was going to destroy you anyway, and I can destroy the Staryu this way too! Sweet!
Staryu: … Teleport?
Staryu disappears, only to be replaced by none other than Jr. Troopa.
Jr. Troopa: You skipped me! DIE!
Mr. Little (fully re-inflated) Not a chance! SWORDERANG!
RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 20 HP
Mr. Little: 15 HP
VS
Wizzerd: 20 HP
Jr. Troopa: 15 HP
Mr. Little struck first with Sworderang! 4+4 damage to all enemies!
Larry used Headless Fireball! Larry stuck his head in his shell!
Mr. Little used Sword Smack! Jr. Troopa took 3 damage!
Wizzerd used My Name Is!
Wizzerd: My name is Wizzy, by the way.
Jr. Troopa used Wimp Pity! Jr. Troopa’s ATK was raised by 3!
Larry sent out the fireball! 10 damage to Wizzy!
Mr. Little used Critique Tattle!
Mr. Little: You don’t know about this
guy, imbecile?! He’s Jr. Troopa, and he’s a wimp. 15 HP, 1 ATK, and 0 DEF.
Ze onlie thing saving him is his Wimp Pity attack, which raises his ATK
by 3.
Wizzy used Charge! Wizzy’s ATK was temporally doubled!
Jr. Troopa used Impale! Mr. Little was impaled!
Larry used Power Shell! 3 damage to all enemies! Wizzy fainted!
Jr. Troopa used I Don’t Want To Die! Jr. Troopa ran away!
END BATTLE!
Larry got A Breath Of Air!
Larry: Well, that was stupid.
Mr. Little: Zou bet ya!
The duo go back to Toad Town, only to find it amuck with Shy Guys. They completely ignore them as they head for the old abandoned building that the Shy Guy’s Toybox was is originally. However, they find it isn’t there.
Larry: WELL, WHERE IS IT?!
Mr. Little: Maybe Mario has ze box? Mr. L might have given it to his moronic broither to protect it.
Larry: … Mr. Little, you’re a genius. To Mario’s House we go!
At Mario’s House…
In the front is the familiar image of the house. In the background is a long path to Luigi’s Mansion. However, there is also a turquoise pipe right in front of our heroes.
Larry: Lemmy?!
The duo go down the pipe, only to see Lemmy’s House and an army of Shy Guys.
General Guy: Broken calculator?
Shy Guy: Check!
General Guy: Mini-Mario?
Robotic Shy Guy: Check!
General Guy: Sub-con potion?
8-Bit Shy Guy: Check!
General Guy: Mannequin?
A Pair of Shy Guys Holding a Banette: Check!
General Guy: Mario hat?
Snufit: Check!
General Guy: Those guys that Sir Luigi…
Mr. L (from far-off): IT’S MR. L!
General Guy: …warned us about?
Gourmet Guy: (holding Larry and Mr. Little) Check!
General Guy: Excellent! To the Toy Box!
The army of Shy Guys march into Lemmy and Larry’s house and to the dining room. There, they remove the picture of Wendy and press a red button that the picture was hiding. A hole opens in the floor, and the Shy Guys jump down the hole. They land in a massive room with a laptop, comfy armchairs, big-screen TV, a sign that says Lemmy’s Little Hideaway, a diary, a spring, and Shy Guy’s Toybox. The army jumps on the spring, shrinks, and lands in the Toybox.
END OF PROLOGUE!
Who was playing Mario Party 5? What
is the plot of Shrugger’s Adventure? Are RPG battles really dumb? (I think
you and I both know the answer to that question.) Why has Luigi gone back
to the Mr. L costume? Does Larry actually like Susan? How did Mr. L and
Toadette know about the first Larry-Star Spirit conversation? Why was there
a Staryu? Why does Lemmy have the Toybox in his basement? Find out the
answers to some or none of these questions in Chapter 1: Trials in the
Toy Box!
Chapter 1: Trials in the Toy Box
Gourmet Guy is carrying our heroes to one place or another (probably somewhere they need to go) when all of a sudden Larry starts acting stupid.
Larry: DROP US!
Gourmet Guy: What? Oh! I had no idea I was carrying you! I thought I was carrying materials to make the secret Mario-Bot 3000, which I was taking you to! Well, I’ll drop you off here, ok?
Gourmet Guy drops our heroes and walks off.
Mr. Little: … YOU IMBECILE!!!
Larry: Well, what are we supposed to do now?
Mr. Little: Explore, duh.
Larry: Ok.
The duo head west.
Anti Guy: You can’t take my chest!
Shy Guys: We actually aren’t shy!
Groove Guys: Who let the dogs out?
The party avoid the Guys and head to the next room.
Shy Guys: Eeek! Don’t take our- Oh. You already did.
Larry: I’m a spy. Of course I did.
The party, considering there isn’t any other doors, head back.
Shy Guy: Anyone seen my mask?
Larry: Oh DAD no…
Larry and Mr. Little use super-stealthiness to get across the room, knowing that if a living being sees a Shy Guy’s unmasked face… *shudder* However, when they get to the other end, they see Anti Guy guarding the exit.
Anti Guy: No non-Shy Guy comes to this Toybox without challenging me! Hey, what’s that…?
Anti Guy sees the unmasked Shy Guy. Suddenly, the room explodes with infinite purple walnuts and speech bubbles with the word “Hi!” Then, the space-time continuum is ripped and glued, causing the room to warp to Castle Bleck, which no longer exits, so the space time-continuum is throne into the shredder, causing this reality to end.
In another reality before Anti Guy sees the unmasked Shy Guy…
The Mega Shell from P.T. Piranha’s works destroys the unmasked Shy Guy.
Larry: …
Anti Guy: … So DIE!
RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 20 HP
Mr. Little: 15 HP
VS
Anti Guy: 50 HP
Larry used 0_0! No damage!
Mr. Little used Critique Tattle!
Mr. Little: … PLEAZE tell me you know
about this guy. He’s Anti Guy, one of ze most popular characters in Lemmy’s
Land, with 50 HP, 10 ATK, and 0 DEF. Just throw a piece of Lemon Candy
at him, and you will be able to take him down.
Anti Guy used “Did someone say LEMON CANDY?!” Anti Guy went Insane! ATK raised by 100!
Larry used “Yeah, and it’s right in that lava pit.”
BATTLE END!
Larry got A Speck Of Dust!
Larry: …
The party head east.
Fly Guy: So why did I have to steal a Dusknoir?
One of the Fly Guys from earlier: So we can breed it with the boss’ new Banette to produce Shuppets, which we can research and create a new Pokémon League!
Fly Guy: Oh. One problem, how are we supposed to get to him?
OOTFGFE: By taking this store key- Hey! Where did the key and Dusknoir go?
Larry: Right here.
All but Larrry: (… Imbecile.)
The Fly Guys chase Larry and Mr. Little out of the Toybox.
Lemmy (coming down): OMG WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH MY TOYBOX-
Larry kicks Lemmy’s ball, and Lemmy, to the Waffle Kingdom. However, the door is then blocked for a half-second by Bowser, allowing the Fly Guys to catch up.
Larry: … Um… Go Dusknoir?
Dusknoir: DUSKNOIR!!!
Dusknoir beats the Fly Guys up, then leaves.
The Marioverse: …
At the shop in Toad Town…
Toad Shopkeeper: Oh! Thanks for returning my key! You can take anything from the storeroom you want!
Larry: I can’t.
Toad Shopkeeper: Really?
Larry: Yeah. My bag is full.
Mr. Little and Toad Shopkeeper: No it isn’t.
Larry: *sigh*
Larry grabs a Wavebird and presses the Start button on it. He rotates it so that everyone sees the Items tab.
Larry’s Items:
Empty Pokéball
Shy Mask
Mushroom
Honey Syrup
Lemmy’s Laptop
Sword
Huge Elementite
Sign
Spare Lucky Star
TM Hyper Beam
Lemmy: Hey!
Toad Shopkeeper: Give me the Lucky Star and I’ll give you a Strange Sack.
Larry: Deal.
Toad Shopkeeper got the Lucky Star! Toad Shopkeeper can now use action commands!
All but Toad Shopkeeper: …
Larry robs the storeroom of everything.
Back at Lemmy’s basement…
Larry: So what are we supposed to do now?
Mr. Little: Throw it in.
Larry: Ok.
Larry throws the train.
Larry: What now?
Mr. Little: Jump in.
Larry: Ok.
Larry jumps in.
Larry: What-
Mr. Little swings his sword millimeters to Larry’s left.
Mr. Little: STOP DOING ZHAT, ZOU FOOL!
Larry: O…k…
Koopa Engineer: Zhank you very much for returning my train. Wanna ride?
Larry: … Ludwig?
Koopa Engineer: Yes… Hey! Ought not my name be Ludwig?
Shrugger Shroob: WE DON’T HAVE SIGNS THAT SAY “LUDWIG” ON THEM.
Larry: (holding up the sign from earlier with Ludwig on it) Now we do.
Ludwig: Excelient. Now, do you want to go or not?
Larry: Ya bet ya!
Ludwig: Good.
The Stealthilaters (Larry and Mr. Little) board the train. The train goes so fast that they go back in time.
30 minutes ago (when Larry stole the stuff from the Guys)…
Larry: … You are GOOD, Ludwig.
Ludwig: Thank you. However, it appears that some imbecile has gone and made it so that instead of the train heading toward the next stop, it goes to a lava pit. So, you two have to go and press the switch.
Larry: Rodger.
The Stealthilaters head west again.
Spy Guys: This grass makes me itchy!
Pyro Guys: AHH! IT BURNS!!!
Larry and Mr. Little successfully sneak by.
Gourmet Guy: You two? How’d you get here?
Larry: How’d YOU get here?
Gourmet Guy: By using NPC teleportation, silly!
Larry: What’s NPC teleportation?
Gourmet Guy: *sigh* Show him, Author!
Paper Gourmet Guy
Gourmet Guy: Come back to me using the entrance behind me! Ready, go!
Gourmet Guy chucks Larry and Mr. Little away. However, the camera stays on Gourmet Guy.
Gourmet Guy: Should be any time now…
Larry and Mr. Little come up behind Gourmet Guy.
Larry: I see now.
Gourmet Guy: Good.
The End
Paper Gourmet Guy Credits:
Gourmet Guy
Larry
Mr. Little
Directed by Shrugger Shroob
Back to Paper Larry…
Larry: Anyways, can we get behind you now?
Gourmet Guy: Oh no, the general ordered me not to let you behind me. So get lost.
Larry: Oh great. What are we supposed to do now, Author?
Shrugger Shroob, Mr. L, Gourmet Guy, and General Guy: NO! YOU JUST BROKE-
The wall separating the switch from the main part of the area with the train and Ludwig dissolves.
Shrugger Shroob, Mr. L, Gourmet Guy, and General Guy: -WALL.
Larry: …
Mr. Little: …
He smacks the switch with his sword.
Gourmet Guy: Hey, wait a second! How’d we get here?
Mr. Little: Ze author forgot to mension that all the walls between us and ze switch dissolved too.
Gourmet Guy: Oh.
Ludwig: Good job., Stealthilaters.
ZOOM!
30 minutes ago (when Larry entered the Toybox…)
Ludwig: Track lifted again. You need to fix it.
Larry: No switch. How are we supposed to fix it?
Ludwig: Explore, duh.
Larry: But I’m lazy!
Ludwig: I dunno, do a montage?
Mr. Little: No stinkin’-
Larry: AWESOME IDEA! Montage power!
We can see a montage of Larry and Mr. Little exploring this segment of the Toybox, doing typical exploring stuff.
Larry: You get anything? ‘Cause I didn’t.
Mr. Little: This ugly hat- RANDOMIZE!
Mr. Little blablablablareadshadyparakoopasworksblablablablabla.
Mr. Little: The good news is…
Meanwhile on the set of Mario Party 6456868464 at the Shy Guy’s Toybox board…
Dry Bones rolls a 6 and lands on a ? Space.
MC Ballyhoo: Yes, the bridge fixed itself! Now you four can proceed!
Back at the rest of the Toybox…
Larry: Oh yeah! I get past my main objective AND get to force Nintendo to either include me or go back to the beginning of the 50-turn battle!
Mr. Little: The bad news is…
Max: DON’T BE DISSIN’ THE HAT, FOOL!
Max blasts Mr. Little to some place that Larry will go to later, then grabs the hat and leaves.
Larry: … Great. Now I don’t have a partner.
Ludwig: Blablablabla, let’s go onwards.
30 minutes ago (when Larry and Mr. Little won the battle against Wizzy and Jr. Troopa)…
Larry: Left? Or right?
Larry tries going right, only to find that someone blocked it with endless stairs, as seen in Mario 64.
Larry: Guess left.
Larry heads left.
Big Lantern Ghost: fOOL! YoU haVE TUMbled intO tHe wrATh of BiG LaNTERn GhOSt!
Larry: Are you going to make this lame story even lamer?
Big Lantern Ghost: PreTTy MUCh.
RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 20 HP
VS
Big Lantern Ghost: 25 HP
Lantern: 0 HP
Larry used Steal! Lantern can’t be stolen!
Big Lantern Ghost used Lantern Throw! Larry countered by using Catch! Larry obtained Lantern!
Lantern used HElp meeeeeeee...
Lary used No! 0 damage!
Big Lantern Ghost used Ubah Smack! 19.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999...
About a billion years later…
…9999999999999monkey999999 damage!
Larry used Throw Lantern On Ground In Disgust! Lantern transformed into Watt! Watt’s WAY TOO BRIGHT ability paralyzed Big Lantern Ghost!
Watt used FIERY EXPLOSION! 999 damage to everyone! Larry, Watt, Big Lantern Ghost, me, you, the author, General Guy, Mr. L, Mr. Little, and just about everyone besides Musical Guy fainted!
A LOT of 1-Up Mushrooms later…
Big Lantern Ghost: … Just take him.
Big Lantern Ghost leaves.
Musical Guy: Ok, I just saved everyone’s lives. So you have to do one thing for me.
Larry: This story’s lame, I would’ve liked it better if you didn’t save us.
Musical Guy: Too bad. I’m joining your party.
Musical Guy joined the party!
Musical Guy: A Primer
In the field, Musical Guy can use
his violin to annoy people and do random stuff! In battle, he can play
his violin and break the laws of physics!
Larry: But I already have a partner for this chapter!
Musical Guy stabs Watt with his violin, causing her to explode.
Musical Guy: Not anymore.
Larry: … Phooey…
Back at the Endless Stairs…
Larry: How are we supposed to get past this?
Musical Guy: Easy.
Musical Guy takes out a Gameshark.
Larry: DON’T-
Mute Larry: Yes
99,999,999 Power Stars: Yes
Larry: …
Musical Guy: Come on, let’s go.
At the top of the stairs, the duo are halted by darkness.
Larry: That’d be a neat name for a song, wouldn’t it? “Halted By Darkness…”
… Did you just break the fourth wall?
Larry: No one cares; it’s been broken so many times that it has no effect besides randomness, and that’s only if someone points it out.
… BUT I JUST DID- Hey, something’s gonna happen, but I can’t narrate it because I just made a comment! I need a backup narrator!
Musical Guy: I accept.
Good, now talk.
Suddenly, time fast forwards so that Larry and I are standing at the exact same spot as before, but it is a while later, so we’re at the time we would have been at in the first place IF LUDWIG HADN’T GONE SO FAST. Also, there is light now.
Larry: … And that would be the end of the song! You’re a genius, Musical Guy!
Musical Guy: How can you even talk right now?
Larry: While you weren’t looking, I went and caught a Gardevoir, stole someone else’s Gameshark, and ordered the Gardevoir to use Imprison! : )
Musical Guy: Ah. Look, can we just battle the boss already?
Larry: Sure.
The duo proceed, only to run into General Guy and his army.
General Guy: Took you long enough. Have the secret weapon ready, Shy Scientists?
Shy Scientists: Yes sir!
General Guy: Good. Begin battle, my troops.
BOSS RPG BATTLE!
Larry: 25 HP
Musical Guy: 20 HP
VS
Shy Guy Troops (20): 1 (20) HP
You: Where did Larry get the extra HP?
Shrugger Shroob: DELETED SCENE.
You: Oh.
Larry used Steal! Larry took a Shy Guy hostage!
Musical Guy used Sleep Song! Larry fell asleep! Shy Guy Squad fell asleep! Larry began having nightmares! The Shy Guys began having nightmares!
Larry was asleep! Larry took damage due to nightmares!
The Shy Guy Army is asleep! They took damage due to nightmares!
Musical Guy used an item! Musical Guy used TM Hyper Beam! Musical Guy learned Hyper Beam!
Larry was asleep! Larry took damage due to nightmares!
THE GUYS WITH LOADS OF NAMES were asleep! AWESOMENESS took damage due to nightmares!
Musical Guy used Hyper Beam! 10 damage! 10 people fainted!
Larry woke up! Larry used RACKET FURY! 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 damage! 8 Shy Guy People fainted!
Musical Guy needed to recharge!
Shy Guy used Run Away! Shy Guy Troops
were defeated!
General Guy: GRR! Send in the Elite
Troops!
Two Pyro Stilt Spy Boom Medi Fly Stacked
Guys joined the battle! They fainted from being illogical!
General Guy: ENOUGH! Mario-Bot 3000,
activate!
Mario-Bot 3000 joined the battle!
Larry used “Can we get his HP, Author?”
Larry: 23 HP
Musical Guy: 20 HP
VS
Mario-Bot 3000: 50 HP
Musical Guy used Hyper Beam! No damage!
Mario-Bot 3000 used Jump! 5 damage to Larry! Larry was flipped!
Larry was flipped!
Musical Guy needed to recharge!
Mario-Bot 3000 used Showstopper! Larry and Musical Guy are not basic minions! The attack failed!
Larry got up! Larry used Steal! Larry stole M Hat! Mario-Bot 3000 turned into Banette Bot!
Musical Guy used Hyper Beam! It had no effect on Banette Bot.
Banette Bot used Will ‘O Wisp! Musical Guy was burned!
Larry used an item! Larry used Lemmy’s Laptop! Larry bought 1 Fright Jar!
Musical Guy used Fright Jar! It was super effective! 50 damage! Banette Bot fainted! Larry obtained a Super Mushroom, a Mini-Mario, and Broken Calculator!
General Guy: … ALL RIGHT, NOW IT’S TIME
TO SHOW THAT I WOULD WIN THE ALL-OUT WAR.
General Guy joined the battle!
Larry used Fire Shell! General Guy’s tank was vaporized! The vapor did 3 damage to Larry!
Musical Guy used Violin Throw! 3 damage!
General Guy used Army March! 1,000 Shy Guys marched all over Larry and Musical Guy! Larry took 10 damage! Larry was flipped! Musical Guy took 7 damage! Musical Guy took damage due to his burn!
Larry was flipped!
Musical Guy used Hyper Beam! General Guy took 15 damage!
General Guy used Repair Order! Shy Guys began repairing General Guy’s Tank!
Larry used Dizzy Shell! General Guy took 5 damage! General Guy became dizzy! The Repair Guys became confused!
Larry got up!
Musical Guy needed to recharge!
General Guy was dizzy! General Guy used General Piledrive! Larry took 4 damage!
Larry used Super Mushroom! Larry turned
into Super Larry!
Larry: Shucks! I thought I’d recover
10 or 20 HP!
Musical Guy used Hostage Shy Guy! General Guy was barred from attacking!
General Guy was dizzy! General Guy used a Mushroom Drop! Larry recovered 10 HP! Musical Guy recovered 10 HP!
The Repair Guys finished building the
Clown Copter!
General Guy: NO, YOU NINCOM-
The Repair Guys killed each other!
Larry used Jump! Larry got in the Clown Copter!
Musical Guy used Sword! General Guy took 5 damage!
General Guy used a Refreshing Herb! General Guy was no longer dizzy!
Larry used Bowling Ball! 100 damage to General Guy! General Guy fainted!
BATTLE END!
Larry got 1 Muskular Card!
Larry: That was close. AND I WAS GOING TO USE THAT TM MYSELF, MUSICAL GUY!
Muskular: Thank you for rescuing me, blah blah blah, NOW GO RESCUE KLEVAR.
…
Larry: Well?
What?
Larry: Aren’t you going to say “END OF CHAPTER”?
No. It will appear approximately…
END OF CHAPTER!
… Now.
Larry: Ok. Wait… ARGH!
END OF HAPTER!
Musical Guy
C
Muskular
------------------------------------
Larry------------------------------------
------
Larry: Ouch…
MR. L’S SIDE!
Mr. L: WHAT?
Toadette: Larry has rescued Muskular, sir.
Mr. L: Shucks! Any clues to where he’ll go next?
Toadette: Yeah. Since we’ll go from the author’s favorite chapter to his least favorite one, he’ll go to Shiver City.
Mr. L: Good. We need to send one of our minions, so who shall go?
Toadette: Crystal King is already deployed, and he assures us that he doesn’t need help.
Mr. L: Any new recruits?
Toadette: Yes. Unfortunately, saying his name would spoil the readers.
Mr. L: Oh.
SUSAN’S SIDE!
Susan: I wish the Staryu would come back…
Twink comes in.
Susan: You aren’t the Staryu!
Twink: He got fired for being a Pokémon.
Susan: Oh. In any case, you’re a Mario supporter, so GET OUT OF HERE!
Susan grabs a Homerun Bat and… well, you probably know what happens next. Hey, why is he… AHH!
LARRY’S SIDE!
Larry is standing next to the warp pipe to Shiver City.
Larry: How’d we get here so fast?
Musical Guy: Camera broke.
Larry: Oh.
Why were there so many Pokémon? Will the Fly Guys make a Pokémon League? What is the plot of Paper Gourmet Guy? Where did M. Little go? Why did the C fall on Larry? Find out the answers to some or none of these questions in Chapter 2: Shivers in the Shiver Region!
To Be Continued...
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