The Goomba Raid

By 1-up Boo

In part one we discovered that King Goomba is going to round up all Goombas and attack the Mushroom... Okay that’s obvious if you READ the first part, which you should have, you know how, you should know how, just read the thing already, it’s a Fun Fiction by the way, I know you hate me now, but you have to live with it… There, finished. AHEM!

Part 2 (1 day after part one)

Mario: Pasta, pasta, pasta…

Luigi: Mario, I told you we don’t have any more pasta. Now sit down and eat.

Mario: But-

Luigi: EAT!

Mario: But you’re cooking is awful!

Luigi: Eat… the… FOOD!

Mario: Ugh. Fine.

Meanwhile with Goom and Hooktail…

Goom: To think I just got my name one day ago… Oh, are we here?

Hooktail: What? Were you asleep the whole time?

Goom: Me? Why, how can you think that? I mean REALLY!

Hooktail: … Just hop off.

Goom: Fine…

After he hops he realizes that he is falling to his doom.

Goom: Hooktail!

Hooktail: (yelling to him) NOW YOU KNOW NOT TO SLEEP ON AN IMPORTANT MISSION!!!

Goom slams into the frozen ground.

Goom: Pain.

Hooktail: (landing) Come on.

They continue even though Goom is covered in snow and shivering. They eventually reach a Goomba outpost. Slightly blue Goombas (due to the cold) are seen. One of them goes up to the newcomers with a suspicious look.

Goomba: Eh? Oo are you? Please on’t tell me you’re Bandits. I hate them Bandits…

Hooktail: We-

Goom: No, you’d better let me handle this, Hooky. I know how to cooperate with ice-skinned Goombas.

Hooktail: …

Goom: Greetings, fellow Goombas, we COME in PEACE! We mean you no harm!

Goomba: What’s with him?

Hooktail: He’s just brainless, that’s all. Who are you?

Goomba: Oh. Another brainless traveler. I gotcha. I om Icebonk.

Hooktail: Hello Icebonk, cool name by the way, we-

Icebonk: Woah there, Fire Breath, introduce urself and your partner urst.

Hooktail: I’m Hooktail and this is… Goom.

Goom is seen dancing around a tree.

Icebonk: … Does he always oo that?

Hooktail: … Let’s hope not. Well I came here to spread the word that King Goomba is staging an attack on the Mushroom Kingdom and we want you and your friends to join us.

Icebonk: Count me in, anything to get away from this frozen wasteland. Hey guys, we’re getting out of here!

All the Goombas stare at Icebonk with happiness and shiver up.

Hooktail: Okay, everybody on!

And so, everybody except Goom gets on Hooktail.

Goom: (singing) It’s the daaancing around the tree song! The tree tree tree sooooong! It’s the-

 Hooktail: GOOM! Get on or I’m leaving you here!

Goom: What? Oh, right!

Goom hops on.

Icebonk: So, where to now?

Hooktail: According to the map we get the priest Goombas in The Dry Dry Desert.

Goom: How can priests help?

Hooktail: I don’t know… Spells, mumbo jumbo… I DON’T KNOW! But your king said to get everyone.

Goom: Fine.

And so they set off again.

Meanwhile with King Goomba…

King Goomba: … Okay, you can be the general…

Red Goomba (from Paper Mario): Huzzah!

King Goomba: And you can be his assistant.

Blue Goomba (from Paper Mario): Yeah!

King Goomba: Now, what are the plans?

Red Goomba: … We could barge through all their entranceways and kidnap the princess while the Toads are busy fighting.

King Goomba: Nah.

Blue Goomba: We could barge in and go crazy.

King Goomba: Perfect!

Red Goomba: …

Meanwhile with Mario…

Mario: That tasted *blech* horrible…

Luigi: Listen you, I… What is that?!

Mario looks up to see the shape of a reddish dragon.

Mario: W-we’d better warn the princess.

Luigi: Let’s use that pipe we got for Christmas that goes to her castle.

Mario: Good idea.

They use the pipe and go in it.

*Shoop*

They come out in the castle.

Toad Guard: May I help you?

Mario: Princess Peach, now!

A few minutes later…

Peach: You saw what?!

Mario: You heard me! A big, red dragon!

Peach: Do you know who it is?

Mario: I have no idea…

Peach: … Is there ANY of your enemies that is a red dragon?
Mario: No… (to self) Wait, there is Hooktail… Yes! That must have been Hooktail! She probably joined King Goomba, it all makes sense! (aloud) Well, it could be Hooktail-

Peach and Luigi: Who’s Hooktail?

Mario: She’s some dragon that I met in my Thousand-Year Door adventure. I bet she’s working with King Goomba.

Luigi: … What gives you that idea?

Mario: The fact that I saw brown dots on the dragon and the fact that I probably made King Goomba mad due to ignoring him.

Peach: …

Luigi: …

Toads: …

Luigi: … What are you implying?

Mario: I have a strong sense that we’re going to get attacked…

Peach: Perfect.

Luigi: Shall we prepare?

Mario: I think that’s a smart idea.

Peach: Can’t we do that in the morning? It’s midnight.

Mario looks at a nearby clock to see it’s 11:58.

Mario: Agreed.

Mario and Luigi leave.

The next day…

Hooktail: So you have no idea where we are?

Hooktail, along with the rest, are seen in the middle of the desert.

Goom: How is this my fault?!

Hooktail: The fact that you’re the one in charge of the map.

Goom: … Oh. Well I followed the instructions!

Hooktail: Then why are we in the middle of nowhere?

Goom: … Fine, you win.

Hooktail: Of course I-

All of a sudden the ground starts to rumble and a temple rises from the ground.

Hooktail: …lose.

Goom: HA!

Goombas in white robes walk out.

Priest Goomba: Greeting, young one, I am Shing’go. What may I do for you?

Hooktail explains the planned attack on the Mushroom Kingdom.

Hooktail: …And we were wondering if you wanted to join… even though it’s orders from King Goomba.

Shing’go: Yes, I shall come.

Icebonk: Wow, I’m so used to the cold that this desert feels relaxing. Welcome aboard!

Hooktail: To the jungle Goombas!

Goom: Pie.

They set off once again…

Meanwhile with King Goomba…

King Goomba: You guys can operate the cannons. We’ll need plenty of Bullet Bills.

Goombas operating cannons: Yes sir!

Everyone: So what now?

King Goomba: … I don’t know.

Red Goomba: I guess we just wait for Hooktail and the others.

Blue Goomba: Bored already!

King Goomba: Well while you guys wait I shall tend my garden.

Random Goomba: I STILL don’t know how or when he got a garden.

Random Goomba #2: I guess we can go to sleep.

Random Goomba #3: At 7:30?

Random Goomba #2: Hey, we’ll need all our strength.

Random Goomba #3: Good point… Sleepy time!

Random Goomba #3 falls to the ground sleeping.

Random Goomba #2: … Well, I’ll go to sleep as well.

He falls to the ground and starts snoring.

Random Goomba: … Greeeat, you do that.

Red Goomba: Let’s hope our plan works.

Meanwhile…

Hooktail: Judging by the obviously Goomba-made tents, I think we’re here.

Yes, they are in a jungle.

Goom: (going to tents) HEY!

Jungle/Indian Goombas come out of the tents.

Goomba: What you doing here?

Hooktail: *sigh*

She explains the attack once again.

Hooktail: …And you need to come with us.

Goomba: Need?

Hooktail: Well it’s orders from King Goomba…

Goomba: Ahh… Call me Blackspot by the way.

Hooktail: Why-

Blackspot turns around to show a black burned spot.

Hooktail: Woah… How did that happen?

Blackspot: Long story, me no want to talk about it.

Hooktail: Well, hop aboard.

Blackspot: I know of some Spear Guys that are our friends. Should I get them?

Hooktail: Sure.

Blackspot leaves and comes back shortly with Spear Guys behind him.

Spear Guy: We will help.

Hooktail: Great… There sure are a lot of you.

Everyone hops on.

Hooktail: All we have now is the plains Goombas.

Goom: Plains Goombas?

Hooktail: You know… the Goombas that just roam around in grassy areas.

Goom: Ah…

Meanwhile…

King Goomba: Well, all the plans are set and we are ready to attack when Hooktail comes back.

Red Goomba: When do we attack?

King Goomba: What do you mean?

Red Goomba: What time!

King Goomba: Oh, right… I have decided that we will attack tomorrow at midnight.

Red Goomba: Why midnight?

King Goomba: Since they will probably be asleep we can attack them by surprise to give ourselves an advantage.

Red Goomba: I guess that means we should go to sleep early?

King Goomba: Yes…

Random Goomba: So now what?

Blue Goomba: We could laugh manically.

King Goomba: Let’s.

And so, they laugh manically.

Will Mario be strong enough to protect the Mushroom Kingdom along with the Toads? Will Hooktail realize that it’s past her curfew? Will Goom ever say something smart? Will Clefts fly? Will you fly? Will King Goomba succeed? Find out in PART 3!

Read on!


 
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