Part 4
Luigi: How can little brown stumps get through these Toads?!
Mario: … I don’t know.
Luigi: Well I don’t know about you, but I’m not standing around!
Mario: Me neither.
Mario and Luigi exit the castle to the battleground.
Mario: …
Luigi: Mario? What are you looking for?
Mario: … There!
Mario heads to a squished Goomba, Blackspot.
Luigi: Ah…
Mario peels him off the ground.
Blackspot: OUCH.
Mario: All right here buster, tell us where Goomba King went.
Blackspot: I’ll… never… tell…
Mario: I wonder how you got that black spot. It would be a shame for you to get another one.
Blackspot: GAH!!! NO! Not another one! PLEASE! I’ll tell you!
Mario: Good Goomba.
Mario sets Blackspot down.
Mario: Now tell us where he went.
Blackspot: HERE! JUST TAKE THIS!
Blackspot somehow pulls out a map.
Luigi: Let me see it.
Mario hands Luigi the map. He studies it and gives it back.
Luigi: It’s good. Not false.
Mario: Good. Now you can go.
Blackspot scurries off.
Mario: … According to this map… we’ll need something fast to ride on if we want to get there quick.
Luigi: But what?
???: I know!
Mario: Yes E. Gadd?
Gadd: Use this.
A Toad pulls in some strange scooter thing.
Gadd: It’s the Shroom Rider. It’s fast and can fly.
Mario: Sweet. But… when did you make this?
Gadd: It was an invention I made awhile ago… I never found any use for it until now.
Mario: Cool.
Luigi: Well let’s go.
Mario: K.
Mario starts the engine and sets off.
Meanwhile…
Peach: Let me go, you little stumps!
Goomba King: You squish hundreds of my species and you don’t expect me to get revenge?
Peach: … Point taken. Let me go!
Goomba King: No. I kidnapped you so that fool Mario would come and I can finally get…
A spotlight shines on Goomba King.
Goomba King: (singing) REVEEENGE!!!
The spotlight goes off.
Icebonk: Heh. I like doing that.
Peach: … Okay.
Goomba King: Mario comes to save you every time you get kidnapped so he should come right over.
Peach: Mario… Help…
Meanwhile…
Mario: Wow… This thing is fast.
Luigi: Yeah, good thing there’s a backseat.
Mario: Yep. Hey, look! Goomba King’s castle!
Luigi: Let’s do this.
Mario and Luigi hop off the Shroom Scooter and break through a window.
Mario: … Great. Now we have to find the throne room.
Luigi: Actually… the map has Goomba King’s castle on it, too.
Mario: Oh.
Luigi: Just follow me.
Mario and Luigi run through the castle until they reach a big, square room.
Luigi: … This area sure looks like a place where a boss would be fought.
Mario: Wait for it…
A few seconds later the room starts to rumble.
Mario: I knew it.
Suddenly a big Goomba falls down. He has a nametag labeled… Mr. Giant.
Mr. Giant: You will not get to Boss!
Mario: I think we will.
Mr. Giant: NO YOU WON’T!
Mr. Giant charges at the Mario Bros.
Mario: Luigi, do a super jump and then ground pound on him.
Luigi: Will do.
Right when Mr. Giant is about to hit Luigi he does a super jump and then ground pounds him.
Mario: Perfect.
Mr. Giant: Grrr… GRAAAAAAH!!!
Luigi: Wah!
Mr. Giant grows even bigger and grows black horns.
Mr. Giant: GRAAAAH!!!
Luigi: Great, he forgot English.
Mario: Let’s try fireballs on him!
Luigi and Mario start to use fireballs on Mr. Giant, but there is no effect.
Mr. Giant: GRAAAAH!!!
Mario and Luigi sidestep and barely dodge Mr. Giant.
Mr. Giant: Grah? Graaah!
Mr. Giant bonks into the wall, which knocks him out.
Mario: Wow.
Luigi: Let’s continue.
Mario and Luigi meet some Goombas along the way and squish or dodge each one. Mario and Luigi stumble upon another big, square room. As soon as they enter, Spear Guys fall from the ceiling and charge at them.
Spear Guy: CHARGE!
Luigi: What’s with the Spear Guys?
Mario: Don’t know, don’t care.
Mario attempts to jump on one but the Spear Guy puts his spear up and Mario lands on it.
Mario: OUCH! That hurt.
Luigi: Let’s try fireballs.
They do so. This easily works.
Spear Guy: Ow.
Spear Guy2: I TOLD you we should have disobeyed orders! Ouch.
Mario: Let’s continue.
Luigi: Will these Goombas ever learn?
Mario: Probably not.
They continue until…
Mario: … How do we cross this?
A pool filled with Bloopers, electric squid things, Cheep Cheeps, and other deadly water creatures sits in their way.
Luigi: Maybe I shouldn’t get a pet fish.
Mario: Let’s make jokes AFTER we save Peach.
Luigi: Well, how do we cross?
Mario: … I have an idea.
Mario leaves the room and comes back with a LOT of spears.
Luigi: Where did you get those?
Mario: The Spear Guys.
Luigi: … How will they help?
Mario: I see a button that says “bridge” over there.
Luigi: Ah…
Mario throws a spear at the button but misses. After 4 tries he hits it and a bridge comes down.
Mario: Come on.
Electric Eel: Awww… I wanted to shock him.
Electric Eel2: Me too. I probably would have gotten a raise.
Mario and Luigi continue through a hall, squishing and dodging many Goombas, until they reach a big locked door.
Luigi: Ready?
Mario: Ready.
Mario and Luigi make a giant fireball and blast the door down. They then enter.
???: Well, well, well… I was expecting you, Mario Bros. Okay, really I was just expecting Mario.
Luigi: *twitch*
???: Goombas will no longer be known as weak!
A spotlight shines on Goomba King.
Mario: I thought that was you speaking.
Goomba King: (singing) REEEEVEEEEENGE!!!
The spotlight turns off and the whole room lights up. Goomba King is seen with big robotic arms.
Goomba King: I am sick of my people being endlessly squished. I hate the WORD squish! I HATE YOU!
Luigi: Harsh.
Goomba King: Quiet you. IT’S TIME FOR REVENGE!
One of Goomba King’s robotic hands launches and rockets toward Luigi. Luigi tries to dodge but gets hit and knocked out.
Mario: LUIGI!
Goomba King: REVENGE!
Goomba King’s hand comes back and reattaches to his robotic arm. He fires his other one but Mario sidesteps and dodges it. Right when the robotic hand reattaches Mario punches him, sending him flying a bit away.
Goomba King: Ouch.
Goomba King’s fingers open up and shoot mini missiles labeled “revenge”. Mario shoots fireballs at each one to blow them up. Mario shoots multiple fireballs at Goomba King but he dodges all of them. Goomba King then launches another hand and hits Mario. Mario gets up hurt and gets ready for the next launch. When Goomba King fires another one Mario runs away from it towards Goomba King, when he reaches him he jumps over and the robotic hand hits Goomba King instead. Goomba King pulls out a whistle from somewhere and blows it. Goombas come down and start charging towards Mario. Mario jumps on each one and doesn’t get hit by a single one. Goomba King is about to launch another hand but Mario is quicker and uses a fireball. This obviously hurts Goomba King. Goomba King then launches both his hands at Mario. Mario can’t find a way to avoid both… Suddenly an object comes and directs one away while Mario directs the other away, and they both hit Goomba King. Mario looks to see who the object was, and sees Luigi.
Mario: I see you’re awake.
Luigi: Yep.
Goomba King: Re… Re…veeeeenge…
Goomba King collapses.
Mario: We always win.
Luigi: Yep. Now let’s find the princess.
Mario looks around.
Mario: That may be hard.
Mario looks ahead to see a hidden door.
Mario: I got to admit, he did a good job at hiding that, but not a good enough job.
Luigi: Let’s go.
Mario and Luigi use a huge fireball to break down the door and see Blackspot, Icebonk, Shing’go, Red Goomba, and Blue Goomba. Peach is tied up to a chair behind them.
Mario: Just try.
Icebonk: … We shall do that.
Hooktail crashes through the ceiling…
Hooktail: Why, if it isn’t Mario.
Mario: *gulp*
Luigi: Okay… That wasn’t expected.
Icebonk: Get ready to pay, plumber.
Shing’go: I’ve been ready for you.
Red Goomba: You’re going to pay because of what you did to Goomba King.
Blue Goomba: Yeah!
Blackspot: That’s right. Me here too.
Luigi: … I’ve got nothing.
Hooktail: I’ve been waiting a long time to do this, Mario!
Hooktail attempts to stomp on Mario, but Mario dodges.
Hooktail: Curses.
Shing’go freezes both of them with a blizzard spell.
Icebonk: Wow. That was TOO easy.
Blackspot: Ye-
BOOM!
5 Goomba Squishers and 1 extremely huge Goomba Squisher burst through the wall. E. Gadd and two guard Toads walk in.
Gadd: While I strongly suggest you surrender right now before I squish all five of you, I would also love seeing you be squished into a pancake. I also have a cannon attached to the Goomba Squisher Extreme that can fire at our dragon friend any moment.
Hooktail: … THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING! Fine, we surrender.
Icebonk: That’s annoying.
Gadd: Good.
The two guard Toads use their spears to free Mario and Luigi from the ice.
Mario: I see help has arrived.
Gadd: Yep.
Mario unties Peach.
Peach: I knew you would come. I also knew these stumps wouldn’t win.
Luigi: Well, let’s go.
Gadd: Everybody, get on this Deluxe Shroom Scooter.
Peach: Isn’t this the 19th time I’ve been captured?
Luigi: I thought it was the 18th.
Mario: Really? I thought it was the 22nd time.
Guard Toad1: Wasn’t it the 15th time?
Guard Toad2: 17th time?
Mario, Luigi, Peach, both the guard Toads, and Gadd get on the Scooter and go home. The Goomba Squishers grow jets and follow.
Where Goomba King is in his castle…
Goomba King: … Back to the drawing board.
THE END
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