The Rule of Ludwig

By zz1666

After a long time of soaring through the skies, Ludwig finally crashes face-first into the ground.

Ludwig: Oww, my entire body aches.

Ludwig crawls over to a small pond of water and starts splashing it all over himself to get the blood to rinse off him.

Ludwig: I can't believe all that just happened.

Ludwig walks over to a rock and sits down there.

Ludwig: I feel like such a loser. I was never fit to be ruler, Kamek was right. I don't know anything about being a ruler. I'm just a pathetic waste of life, and now that I'm stuck here, I'll amount to nothing the rest of my life. I can't get back to Dark Land, so now what? I mean, there's nothing that even looks like people live here, this place is virtually a wasteland.

Meanwhile, back at Castle Koopa...

Kamek is standing on a pedestal with several people surrounding him all crying.

Kamek: I am all aware we all must be quite sad. First Bowser, then Ludwig. This has certainly been a time of sadness, but we have to move on. We're all going to miss Ludwig, as he was doing a great job as ruler. So, here, I have Ludwig's will. Let me read it and see what he wants.

Kamek pulls out a piece of paper with writing on it that is nothing like Ludwig's handwriting.

Kamek: To whom it may concern: On the behalf of my death, I would like my great assistant, the best person in the world, Kamek, to be ruler. He is one great person and is truly the nicest person ever, and will be a great ruler.

The audience looks up at Kamek.

Kamek: Me? Well, I sure wasn't expecting that. Well, I’d better go back and start planning what I'm going to do. Gosh, I sure wasn't expecting this.

Back with Ludwig...

It is getting near dark. Ludwig has crawled into a small lean-to shelter covered with leaves and twigs.

???: Ludwig!

Ludwig: Who said that?!

???: Listen!

Ludwig: Where are you?!

???: All is not lost.

Ludwig: What's that supposed to mean?!

???: I must go. Remember what you must do, don't let anyone trick you into not completing it.

Ludwig: What must I do? Please, what must I do?! What?!

Ludwig opens his eyes.

Ludwig: Was that a dream? It felt so real! Oh well, the sun is up now, so might as well go try to find someone here to tell me where I am.

Ludwig begins traveling through a section of woods.

Ludwig: Hm... That looks odd.

Ludwig walks over to a weird painting on a tree.

Ludwig: Quite peculiar. Could there be civilization around here?

???: Meh-heh, must... get!

Ludwig: What the-

Before Ludwig can finish, the figure grabs him and starts dragging him farther into the woods until they come to an opening.

???: Wacacacaca, me got one! Wah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

The figure drags Ludwig toward the center of the opening. Ludwig looks around and sees several little huts.

???2: Excellent work, Psycho, you may leave.

Psycho Guy: Wah-hah-howie!

Ludwig: What do you want with me?

???2: Woah, slow down, allow me to introduce myself. I am President Guy, and who might you be?

Ludwig: I am Ludwig von Koopa.

President Guy: Ah, so you are one of the evil Lord Bowser's descendants, correct?

Ludwig: Yes. Now do you mind telling me where I am?

President Guy: You are at the tribal villages of the Misfit Guys.

Ludwig: No, I mean like, am I in the Mushroom Kingdom?

President Guy: Ha ha, that's funny! Ludwig, there is no other kingdom, civilization, or anyone within miles of us.

Ludwig: What are you guys doing all the way out here then?

President Guy: Glad you asked. You see, we all came from the nearby Shy Guy Kingdom. But all of us had something wrong with us. We all were tortured and mocked by the normal Shy Guys at home. So we all decided to form our own community of Misfit Guys.

Ludwig: What is wrong about you? You don't seem like a misfit.

President Guy: But I am. All I think about is being president. Before I came here, I ran for 30 years straight, and lost every year. I then had enough of everyone mocking me and saying I stink because I never win, so I founded this new community. Would you like a tour of the village? You can meet all the other members.

Ludwig: I guess.

President Guy: Good. Now, follow me.

President Guy and Ludwig walk over to see two Shy Guys talking.

President Guy: Eye, Weapons, I would like you to meet Eye Guy and Weapons Guy.

Eye Guy: Hello, I am Eye Guy.

Ludwig: Woah, those are some pretty big eyes.

Eye Guy: I am aware of that.

Weapons Guy: What's up, I am Weapons Guy, and don't try anything funny around here because I carry with me every weapon known. I got bazookas, snipers, pistols, tazers, bombs, bullets, swords, knives, and many more.

Ludwig: I'm a bit frightened.

President Guy: That was my reaction at first too, but you'll get used to it. Let's continue.

President Guy and Ludwig walk up to another Shy Guy.

President Guy: Psycho, this is Ludwig. Please try not to spaz around him. Ludwig, this is Psycho Guy. Watch out, he has spaz attacks constantly and has mental issues. He's like a time bomb waiting to burst.

Psycho Guy: He-he, want to play a game? Hee-heeeehehe!

Ludwig: No thanks, I'll think I'll pass.

President Guy: Well, let's leave before he does something else unexpected.

President Guy and Ludwig walk up to two Shy Guys.

President Guy: This here is Ludwig. Ludwig, please meet Swear Guy and Killer Guy.

Swear Guy: *@%^@$^*&!%$!%^*^@%$@^%@%*&@^%*&&%^!

Ludwig: Uhh, hi to you too.

President Guy: Don't be offended, it's extremely rare to hear him say anything that isn't a swear.

Killer Guy: I'm going to kill you.

President Guy: Killer no killing!

Killer Guy: Oh man!

Ludwig: Don't worry, I'm not bad.

Killer Guy: I'm watching you. I sleep with one eye open, so I'll be watching your every move.

Why Guy: Why?

President Guy: Oh. Ludwig, this is Why Guy. He says why a lot. Why Guy, this is Ludwig.

Ludwig: HI!

Why Guy: Hi!

Ludwig: Wow, you didn't say why!

Why Guy: You know, why isn't the only word I say.

Gangster Guy: Yo, what the deal on the east side of town?

President Guy: Oh.  Gangster, this is Ludwig. Ludwig, meet Gangster Guy.

Ludwig: Hello.

Gangster Guy: Yo, what up, my homie?

President Guy: Come Ludwig; let us go get food and entertainment.

Ludwig follows President Guy into a building.

Frie Guy: Welcome! Would you like some fries?

President Guy: Yes. Frie Guy, this is Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Frie Guy, he's the town cook and specializes at making delicious fries.

Ludwig: Hello.

Frie Guy: HI! Here are your fries, please tell me what you think of them.

Ludwig eats a few fries.

Ludwig: These are the best fries I've ever tasted!

Frie Guy: Thank you!

Ludwig: Hey, what's that music?

President Guy: Oh, that's just Guitar Guy. He's too busy to talk now, so you two can get to know each other later. Let's go meet the last two people of the village.

Ludwig: Wait, aren't there more?

President Guy: Nope, only twelve people here.

President Guy and Ludwig continue into another hut.

Ludwig: Hmm, smells like science here.

President Guy: That's because this is the hut of Geek Guy.

Geek Guy: Greetings, my comrades. You are clearly Ludwig von Koopa, oldest son of Bowser.

Ludwig: Woah, you are smart.

Geek Guy: Indeed!

President Guy: Lastly, Ludwig, I would like you to meet Silent Guy. Now, Silent Guy is very wise, and only speaks when there is a reason or when he deems you intelligent enough to be worthy of a conversation with him.

Ludwig: Hello.

Silent Guy: ...

President Guy: Well, that's the village. Hope you enjoyed the tour, now it's off to the gallows for you.

Ludwig: Wait, aren't gallows where they hang people?

President Guy: Yes.

Ludwig: Well then why am I going there?

President Guy: Well duh, we're going to lynch you.

Back at Dark Land...

Kamek: Put your back into it, slaves. The quicker we finish the 40-foot tower of me, the sooner we can move on to me picking my butlers.

Kamek is sitting on a throne while everyone in Dark Land is dragging heavy concrete blocks and using them to construct a statue that resembles Kamek.

Kamek: Fan faster, Lemmy!

Lemmy: Kamek, this is the fastest I can fan you, honestly.

Kamek: Liar!

Kamek snaps his fingers and a trapdoor opens up below Lemmy, and he falls into the dungeon with about 100 other people.

Kamek: Iggy, fan me, now!

Iggy: Yes sir.

Kamek: Excellent. Mwu huh huh!

Back with Ludwig...

Ludwig: Wait, why am I being lynched?

President Guy: Because Ludwig, you are obviously a threat to us and are working for Bowser and plan to conquer us and have us be your little slaves. But, we're not stupid, and are going to kill you.

Killer Guy: Wait, how come I don't get to kill him?

President Guy: You do, you get to be the guy working the gallows.

Killer Guy: Sweet!

Ludwig: You don't understand, Bowser is dead!

President Guy: Nice try, buddy, but it's not going to work.

Geek Guy: Wait, he's telling the truth! In my newest issue of Nerd Monthly, there is an article stating Bowser died, and now Kamek has become evil dictator of Dark Land.

Ludwig: That fiend, he's torturing them! I should still be there, leading them all to peaceful and happy lives!

President Guy: Then why aren't you?

Ludwig: Kamek launched me out of Dark Land when I found out he was plotting to kill me. Now he's probably spread some lie.

President Guy: Weapons Guy, get over here!

Weapons Guy: Yes?

President Guy: (whispering to Weapons Guy) I think we ought to help him take back control.

Weapons Guy: (whispering to President Guy) Are you crazy?

President Guy: (whispering to Weapons Guy) No. If we help him take back the throne then we can get ourselves some of the power.

Weapons Guy: (whispering to Weapons Guy) Good idea.

President Guy and Weapons Guy walk towards Ludwig.

President Guy: Well Ludwig, we will help you take back the throne.

Ludwig: Awesome!

President Guy: Yes, it is indeed. Tomorrow, we plan for our attack.

The next day, Ludwig arose to the morning sun shining through the leaves under the tent in which he slept.

Ludwig: Well, today is the day I can fully prove that I am ready for this, once I get rid of Kamek and his evil ways.

Ludwig walks out of his tent and starts looking around and sees President Guy.

Ludwig: So President Guy, what do we have planned for today?

President Guy: There is a meeting in about ten minutes where we will strategize our plan to attack.

Ludwig: Sounds good.

Ludwig proceeds to the meeting, hunt where he sits down in a chair alongside President Guy.

President Guy: Well, I think you all know why I have called this meeting.

Why Guy: I don't. Why?

President Guy: You see, our good friend Ludwig here got kicked out of Dark Land by Kamek, who is now evil dictator there. So we're going to help him regain his power.

Why Guy: But I don't want to.

President Guy: Why Guy, this is not optional. You must help. Now, we have exactly three days to prepare for our strike. So, I have roles for all of you to fill. Eye Guy, you are going to be the spy. You're going to be spying on Kamek and seeing what he is doing.

Eye Guy: Sounds dangerous! And fun!

President Guy: Psycho Guy, you, Weapons Guy, and Killer Guy are going to work on making weapons and ways to kill Kamek.

Psycho Guy: Wah-hah-hah!

Weapons Guy: I won't let you down.

Killer Guy: I'll do it, but I call dibs on being the person to kill Kamek.

President Guy: Go ahead; as long as someone kills him it's all good.

Ludwig: Kill? But President Guy, Kamek is my friend.

President Guy: So are you saying that the guy who attacked you, plotted to kill you, and seized the throne is your friend?

Ludwig: You're right.

President Guy: Exactly. Swear Guy, you're going to be in charge of making sure everyone is doing their job.

Swear Guy: #%#^%)*(#

President Guy: Why Guy, Nerdy Guy, and Silent Guy, you guys will be plotting out our attack method.

Why Guy: Why?

Nerdy Guy: With gratitude!

Silent Guy: ... Fine...

Ludwig: Oh my, I finally heard you talk!

Silent Guy: ...

President Guy: Now Gangster Guy, Frie Guy, and Guitar Guy, you guys will be on a hunt to find a way out of this forest we have been seemingly trapped in.

Gangster Guy: Yo, it's all good dog.

Frie Guy: Ok. I may even find a good location to open up another fries stand.

Guitar Guy: Rock on!

President Guy: Well, you all can clear out now. Remember, do a good job with your assignments.

Everyone clears out, leaving President Guy and Ludwig alone in the hall.

President Guy: So Ludwig, what do you know about Kamek?

Ludwig: Well, he's smart and he knows a lot of magic and always has a trick up his sleeve.

President Guy: Well this is a tricky situation indeed. We must outsmart Kamek in order to win.

Ludwig: I agree.

President Guy: This is why we must search for the Forbidden Laboratory.

Ludwig Forbidden Laboratory?

President Guy: Wait, you mean to tell me you've never heard of the Forbidden Laboratory?

Ludwig: No. Would you please tell me about it?

President Guy: Sure. You see, the reason the Misfit Guys chose this forest to run off in was because there was a laboratory, where there  was once a scientist who could cure anyone of their problem, give anyone supreme intelligence, and much more. We Misfit Guys were hoping to find it and correct our problems. However, we failed, and gave up looking a while ago. But now, with your help, you and I can find it.

Ludwig: Sounds interesting.

President Guy: Indeed. If we find this then not only will the Misfit Guys be cured of their problems, but we will also be able to devise a weapon that can easily take down Kamek.

The two walk off, and head to bed. Ludwig rises to the morning sun the next day and crawls out from his tent, and sees President Guy waiting.

President Guy: Come Ludwig, we must work fast.

Ludwig: Ok, let's go!

President Guy: Hey Swear Guy, I assign you to be temporary leader while I'm gone.

Swear Guy: %*^#%^#!

President Guy: That's the spirit!

President Guy and Ludwig exit the camp.

Ludwig: So do you have any idea where in these woods it is?

President Guy: Well, sort of. You see, a couple of miles north of here there was a few beakers found, meaning the lab could be over there.

Ludwig: Well, then let's head in that direction.

President Guy: All right.

President Guy and Ludwig head off in the direction that the beaker was found.

President Guy: So Ludwig, how do you plan to tell everyone what happened to you?

Ludwig: Simple, I'll tell them the truth.

President Guy: Well we'll work the rest of it out once we find this lab.

President Guy and Ludwig continue on through the forest, until they see something shiny on the ground.

President Guy: This is it, Ludwig, this is the beaker I told you about.

Ludwig picks it up and examines it.

Ludwig: Hold on, what's that?

President Guy: What's what?

Ludwig: There seems to be some kind of piece of paper inside.

President Guy: How odd, we must have missed that last time.

Ludwig: Should we open the piece of paper?

President Guy: Yes. Do you think we should take a rock and smash the beaker? I mean, it's probably the only way to get the piece of paper out.

Ludwig: Sure.

Ludwig picks up a rock and chucks it at the beaker. The beaker shatters and glass spews everywhere, leaving the piece of paper behind.

Ludwig: Let's see what it says. It reads:  If you are reading this note then you must be after my laboratory. This is the first of several hidden clues to where my Forbidden Laboratory is hidden. The first clue is to look from a bird’s eye view for what seems to stick out like a sore thumb.

President Guy: So what do you think that means?

Ludwig: We probably have to get somewhere high and look for something that isn't like the rest.

President Guy: Well there is a hill over there. Do you think we should climb it?

Ludwig: Well, since it appears to be the highest point around, yes.

Ludwig and President Guy start climbing the hill.

President Guy: So what do you think we'll be looking for at the top?

Ludwig: I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it will stand out from everything around it.

Ludwig and President Guy reach the top of the hill and look out into the horizon.

President Guy: See anything unusual?

Ludwig: ... Yes, yes I do! Look, the top leaves on all the trees are green except for that tree over there, as that tree has an orange leaf at the top!

President Guy: Well, that looks like it must be it. Let's head down over there.

Ludwig: Yeah, that tree looks like it's at the base of the hill we're on, so it shouldn't be a long walk there.

President Guy and Ludwig quickly scurry down the hill and over to the base of the tree.

President Guy: Ludwig, are you going to climb the tree and get it?

Ludwig: Sure.

Ludwig climbs the tree and grabs another beaker from atop the leaves. Ludwig then throws a rock at it to break open the beaker, revealing another piece of paper.

President Guy: It says: "You are almost here, but for the final clue a good swimmer is needed. Go under and don't come back until you find it."

Ludwig: Hmm, are there any lakes nearby?

President Guy: Yes, there is a lake about a mile east of here.

Ludwig: Well let's head there.

Ludwig and President Guy start walking in the direction of the lake.

President Guy: This clue makes it seem like we must go underwater. Can you swim?

Ludwig: No, but I have this little invention in my pocket that is basically a magnet that works on glass. If we hold it near the water we should be able to pull up the glass beaker.

President Guy: Sounds good.

President Guy and Ludwig reach the lake.

Ludwig: Well, let's see if this works.

Ludwig pulls out his magnet and holds it near the water. After about a minute, Ludwig sees a beaker shoot up through the water and hits the magnet with a sudden thud.

President Guy: Yes, it worked!

Ludwig: Well, let's smash up this beaker and get our next clue.

Ludwig picks up another rock and smashes it against the beaker. Another note appears, and Ludwig picks it up.

Ludwig: It says "You have done well to get this far. Now, inside this piece of paper will be a hexagon-shaped gem. Return to the place where you found the first clue, and look for a tree with a hexagon-shaped gap. Place this gem in it and the staircase to my underground laboratory will be revealed."

President Guy: Yes, we've almost found it!

Ludwig: Yes, let's just head back to where we found it now.

President Guy and Ludwig start walking back to the area where they found the first beaker.

President Guy: I am so excited I can finally get cured of my problem!

Ludwig: Odd, you don't seem as if you have any problems.

President Guy: Trust me, I do.

Ludwig: Like what?

President Guy: Well, I've run for president 30 years in a row and have lost each year. The people just hate me, and it must be due to some character flaw.

Ludwig: Yeah. But I still can't wait; I'm going to create a weapon so powerful it will knock Kamek all the way back to first grade!

President Guy and Ludwig reach the area where they found the first beaker

Ludwig: Well, let's start looking around for the hexagon-shaped hole.

Ludwig and President Guy start looking around for hexagon-shaped openings in the trees.

President Guy: Hey Ludwig, I found it!

Ludwig walks over to the tree President Guy is standing next to.

Ludwig: Well, here goes nothing.

Ludwig places the hexagon-shaped gem into the tree. Suddenly the ground begins to glow. After about a second, a section of the ground disappears, revealing a set of stairs.

President Guy: Wow, that's really it!

Ludwig: Yes, I can't believe we found it!

Overjoyed, President Guy and Ludwig start to descend down the staircase.

Ludwig: Gosh, it sure is dark down here.

Ludwig and President Guy reach the bottom of the staircase and emerge in a large, dark room with a small light on in the corner.

President Guy: Wow, this is awesome!

Ludwig: Yeah! Hey, let's head over to that light, maybe there is a light switch there.

President Guy: Good idea!

President Guy and Ludwig start to walk over to the corner, and eventually reach it.

Ludwig: Look, a light switch!

Ludwig flicks on the light switch, and the light reveals tons of chemicals and books.

President: Wow!

President Guy and Ludwig dash over to a desk, with a few chemical containers left out and a book.

Ludwig: Wow, look at all these rare chemicals!

President Guy: Yeah. Hey, what's this?

President Guy turns to an open page titled "How to Get People to Like You".

President Guy: This is it! This is the key to becoming normal! I must make this potion!

Ludwig: Yes! But wait, I see tons of chemicals here, yet none of them seem to be for creating weapons.

President Guy: Maybe they’re inside that closet over there.

President Guy points to a closet.

Ludwig: Yeah, let's check there!

Ludwig and President Guy run over to the closet.

Ludwig: I sure hope everything is here!

Ludwig turns the knob and opens the closet. However, right when he opens it he sees a large, dark figure standing in the closet.

Ludwig: %#&%*#!

President Guy: W-w-w-who are y-y-y-you?

The figure takes a step forward, allowing light to shine in its face.

President Guy: ... No, it can't be...

Ludwig: Kamek!

Kamek: Nya-hah-ha-ha, that's right losers, it's me!

Ludwig: How in the world did you get here?

Kamek: Glad you asked. You see, when I shot you out of the cannon I became well aware of the location you landed in. However, I realized that there was a lab where it was possible to make a weapon that could destroy me, so I came here to make sure that didn't happen.

President Guy: How did you get here?

Kamek: That is a secret you may never know. Now, it is time for me to kill you.

Kamek pulls out a giant laser gun.

Ludwig: No, I beg of you, please, don't!

Kamek: Too late!

Kamek pulls the trigger on the laser gun. The gun begins to glow, and a large ray is quickly shot right at Ludwig and President Guy.

BOOOOOOM!

The laser gun causes a mass explosion. Debris flies everywhere, and the entire ground trembles. After about an hour, everything settles down, and Kamek walks out from where he was standing.

Kamek: Nya-ha!

Kamek laughs at the two motionless bodies lying in the floor, unconscious, with no signs of life or a pulse whatsoever. Satisfied, Kamek walks off into the darkness of the destruction he has caused.

To Be Continued...

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