One day, Zoshi is minding his own business, when...
Hey wait a second, what are you doing, Replace?
Uh... I thought this was a third-person narrative.
Well, it's not. Well, technically it is, but I don't want YOU to narrate it, so get out!!!
Okay, hi it's me, Zoshi. My lousy replacement Goomba, Replace, was narrating, that jerk. Anyway...
Zoshi is minding his own busness when... BOOM!!! Something explodes somewhere in the distance. At first he pays no mind to it, but the effects of that explosion are suffered many days later, for the sky is darkened.
Peach: It's been cloudy for three days straight, what shall we do?
Mario: I'm not-a really sure-a, this never happened in-a the Real World.
Toad: We must put an end to this!
Peach: We shallend this horrible nightmare!
The Mario Gang go to find the source of this cloudy sky, and on the way recruit Yoshi and Luigi.
Luigi: I've-a noticed it-a too, but I-a have no idea where it-a comes-a from.
Yoshi: Yoshi do, it all started a few days back.
Start Flashback...
Yoshi was walking through Dinosaur Land when... BOOM!!! Something exploded in the distance. Nevertheless, just like Zoshi, he paid no attention to it.
End Flashback...
Mario: Where-a did this-a explosion occur?
Yoshi: Somewhere near Karminy's Kastle.
Mario: Karminy, that-a witch, with-a long, silky black-a hair...
Peach stares at Mario.
Mario: But-a blondes are better, of-a course.
Peach is happy.
Meanwhile...
Daisy: I feel... a... a... disturbance in my hair color...
Back to where we were...
Where was I? Oh yes, Mario and Co. go off into the forest, which is a shortcut from the Mushroom Kingdom to Dark Land, to find Karminy's Kastle, yet again.
Meanwhile...
It's a sunny day.
Zoshi: Darn it!!!
A black cloud is hovering over Zoshi, and only Zoshi.
Zoshi: How am I supposed to get a tan like this?!
Zoshi moves to another spot and the cloud follows.
Zoshi: Stop that!!!
He moves yet again, and the cloud continues to follow.
Zoshi: This must be the work of Karminy.
Zoshi sets off to the same location the Mario Gang are headed.
Back to the Mario Gang...
Peach: This stinks. High-heels are great for everything except finding evil witches who have their lairs in the middle of a muddy jungle and use witchcraft that makes the sky go dark for days which surely provokes a high-heels wearer to go after her in the first place.
Yoshi and Toad: What?!
Luigi and Mario: What-a?!
Yoshi: Who that?
Angry Sun's light shines on something sparkling in the distance.
Angry Sun: MY EYES!!! I HATE THIS JOB!!!
Mario Gang: OUR EYES!!! WE HATE IT WHEN YOU DO YOUR JOB!!!
Angry Sun falls out of the sky and into the Ocean. (Ocean and Ocean2 are the only bodies of water on Plit besides Water Land.)
Toad: Great. Even less light now.
Luigi: Hey-a, it's Zoshi!
Mario: What's-a that black-a thing over his-a head?
Zoshi: It's a rain cloud. Poor me. Well at least it doesn't rain.
Zoshi's "pet" cloud starts raining.
Zoshi: Great.
The Mario Gang chuckle.
Zoshi: I'm going to call you... Renny. (Running Gag, Remmy + Rainny)
Toad: Wait a second... How did Angry Sun's light hit you if you’re under a black rainclou-
Zoshi: (very, very quickly) WhatAreYouWaitingFor,Let'sGo!
Mario: Let's-a go stop-a Karminy, yet-a again for-a the third time.
Mario and Co. go through a forest of puzzles and bad guys, and each room of the forest has a Dor Guy.
Dor Guy the 1st: I am Dor Guy the 1st, and to pass me you must defaet all the enemies.
Toad: What enemies?
A whole bunch of Hammer Bros. fall from the sky.
Toad: I had to ask.
Mario: I'll-a get the five-a in-a the middle!
Luigi: I'll-a get the four-a on-a the bottom!
Peach: I’ll willist get the one on the left!
Yoshi: Yoshi get the three on the right!
Zoshi: I'll get the two on the top!
Toad: And I'll just hide behind this bush!
They defeat all the Hammer Bros. in a matter of minutes. They walk to Dor Guy.
Dor Guy the 1st: Good job, you may now pass through.
They pass through the Dor Guy and they end up in a tight space with the 2nd Dor Guy. Peach talks to this one.
Dor Guy the 2nd: Good job. Many have made it here, many have failed, and many others have not.
Peach: Just tell us what we shall do!
Dor Guy the 2nd: My block can be passed by answering a question.
Peach: What willist we answer?
Dor Guy the 2nd: Hey! I ask the questions around here! How many Hammer Bros. did you all fight in the last room?
Everybody starts thinking...
Mario: Luigi fought-a four...
Luigi: Peach fought-a one...
Peach: Yoshi fought three...
Yoshi: Zoshi fought two...
Zoshi: Toad hid behind a bush...
Toad: And Mario fought five...
Luigi: That-a equals fif-
Peach: 48!
Dor Guy the 2nd: Are you sure?
Luigi: NO!!! The-a answer is-a 15!
Dor Guy the 2nd: Are you sure?
Luigi: Yes-a.
Dor Guy the 2nd: Then I have to say that you are... CORRECT!!! You may go through.
Mario Gang: YES!!
They go on through to a big labyrinth. As soon as the gang stepped inside the labyrinth, Yoshi, Luigi, Peach, and Zoshi all fall down trapdoors!
Mario and Toad: Where'd they all go?
Toad talks to Dor Guy.
Toad: Where is everybody?
Dor Guy the 3rd. This is a labyrinth. We are going to play a little game called Tag Team A-Maze-Zing Game.
Toad: Oh no, you have to be kidding me. (What a stupid pun.)
Dor Guy the 3rd: You are all in three different mazes, each team must get to the end of their maze. After that, the teams will be teleported to the fourth and final maze. Everyone will have to help each other to get to the end, and you will be teleported back here.
Toad: How will our friends know what to do?
Dor Guy the 3rd: It's a maze, isn't it obvious? Besides, I placed sign posts in each landing spot. Now... GO!!!!
>>Mario & Toad<<
Mario: Let's-a get out-a
of here!!! Follow-a me!
Toad: Okay!
After about 10 minutes of twists and turns, they find a really high platform. Not even Mario can get to the top by jumping. Then they form a plan...
Mario: We-a have to-a work together.
Mario jumps on Toad's head, which makes him bounce extra high, but before he jumps off Toad, he grabs Toad's tiny arms, and they both fling the other, Ice Climber-style. They repeat this 2 more times, and get to a red glowing spot. They step on it and are teleported to the last maze.
Mario: Where-a are-a we?
Mario and Toad are in a glass box.
Toad: I think we have to wait for the others.
So they both sit and start waiting...
>>Luigi & Peach<<
Luigi: Hey, a sign post.
Luigi and Peach both read it and find out what to do in the A-Maze-Zing Game.
Peach: Let us go!
The first turn they take leads them to giant gap.
Luigi: You-a thinkin' what-a I'm thinkin'?
Peach nods.
Peach: Yes, green shoes do not go with yellow dresses.
Luigi: No-a, not that!!!
Meanwhile...
Daisy: Now I feel a disturbance in my fashion style...
Back to Luigi and Peach...
Luigi: Use-a your parasol, and-a I'll hold on-a to you!
Peach: Okay!
They float across 2 gaps this way, go through twists and turns for 5 minutes, cross another gap, then more twists and turns. Then there is a gap with a hollow tree floating in the center. Again they float, but are stopped at the tree.
Peach: What shall we do?
Luigi: Grab-a my hand.
Peach: Sorry Luigi, but my love belongs to Mario.
Luigi: o_O I-a didn't mean-a like that-a. I'm going to-a wall jump-a our way-a up.
Peach: Okay.
Luigi wall jumps up the hollow tree, and at the top there is a gap with a grassy, floating platform on the other side. It has a blue space that glows similarly to the red space Mario found. They float to the platform, stepped on the glowing spot, and are transported to the glass box with Mario, Toad, Yoshi, and Zoshi.
Toad: Good, we’re all here, so let's tell Luigi how we got here.
Mario and Toad tell their story, Luigi and Peach tell everyone their story, and Yoshi and Zoshi are about to tell their story.
Yoshi: It went like this...
Start Flashback...
>>Yoshi & Zoshi<<
Zoshi: Hey look, a sign, let's read it.
They read the sign, and find out what to do.
Yoshi: Okay, let's go.
After some twists and turns, they see two floating green buttons, and a dead end. Yoshi uses his tongue to hit a button, but to no prevail.
Zoshi: Let's try it at the same time. I'll use my tongue to hit that button and you use yours to hit the other one.
They get in position.
Zoshi: On three! 1... 2... 3!!!
They hit the buttons and the door opens. After like 6 minutes, another dead end like it appeared, and they repeat the process. Then there is a huge gap, much bigger than Peach and Luigi's gaps.
Yoshi: Yoshi have idea. Yoshi grab you, Yoshi use double jump, then Yoshi use Yoshi's Down + A attack while you get ready to double jump to get to other side.
Zoshi's mouth drops in astonishment.
Zoshi: Where'd you learn that?!
Yoshi: Super Smash Bros, Super Smash Bros: Melee, Super Smash Bros: Brawl.
Zoshi: Oh.
They use Yoshi's plan and get to the other side with ease. After about 2 minutes they see a dead end like the first 2, and use their heads- I mean tongues, and when the wall goes down, they see a glowing green space, which they step on and teleport to the glass box where Toad and Mario are waiting.
End Flashback...
Luigi: Rather interesting.
Peach: Verily.
Zoshi: That's it! Peach, talk like a normal person, we are not in the Medieval ages!
Peach: Okay.
Mario: Let's go.
They all go through the last maze together, then there is a Parasol Gap (Peach+Luigi), Toadstool Platform (Mario+Toad), and Tongue Switches (Yoshi+Zoshi). Ech person took their corresponding obstacle. After the obstacles are cleared, they meet up again. After about 5 minutes of twists and turns, 3 more obstacles appeared: a Floating Wall Jump Tree (Luigi+Peach), a DoubleJump Gap (Yoshi+Zoshi), and a new obstacle for Mario and Toad, Back2Back Climb. Each person goes to their corresponding obstacle again.
Toad: How'll we get all the way up there?
Mario: They’re-a set to-a far apart for-a me to-a wall jump… I know! Let's-a face back to-a back, now let's-a hook our-a elbows, I-a walk up this wall, and-a you the other, but-a push back as-a hard as-a you can-a, and I-a will too-a. Ready? Go!
They walk up "Emperor's New Groove Style", then after they clear the obstacles, they no longer meet, but a few feet in front of each team, there are 3 spaces, a green one, a blue one, and a red one, and they fuse into a white one. Each team steps on theirs and are teleported back to Dor Guy the 3rd.
Dor Guy the 3rd: You all made it?! This is the first time ever someone made it! Wow! You may now go through and continue your journey... Good luck...
They exit the Forest of Puzzles, and on the red horizon is Karminy's Kastle, which is like a black needle against the red sky.
Mario: We're finally out.
Luigi: Thank goodness.
Peach: Why isn't the sky black here?
Zoshi: Karminy would never sabotage herself.
Yoshi: True dat, Bro, true dat.
After like an hour, they get to Karminy's Kastle. They break down the door, and Karminy turns around, not surprised.
Karminy: I was expecting all of you.
Zoshi: Of course. I'll break that Crystal Ball of yours, which will drain your power, keep you from seeing the future, and stop the curse you've placed on the Mushroom Kingdom!
Karminy: Try to stop me!
The Mario Gang and Karminy start fighting like crazy. Then Karminy traps everyone except Zoshi in energy bubbles.
Zoshi: Karminy, you overlooked me!
He grabs the Crystal Ball.
Karminy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
He throws the Crystal Ball out a hole in the Kastle from last time that they were there, and upon impacting a pointy rock, it breaks, and a gray smoke comes out.
Karminy: You fell for it! That was my fake Crystal Ball, which contains the essence of Dry Bones!
Zoshi: And what does that mean?
Karminy: You'll find out, let me just end your friends’ games!
She waves her wand twice and chants some weird phases, and she outlines the other 5 heroes and sends them to the Underwhere, Dimentio (Super Paper Mario) style.
Zoshi: NO!!! What have you done?! Now Karminy, I'll end your game once and for all!!!
Karminy: Not so fast, Zry Zones!
Zoshi: Who's Zry Zones? What the? Why is this gray smoke surrounding me?!
Karminy: Yes, the Crystal Ball is having its revenge.
Zry Zoshi: W-What's happening to me? Why am I all bones?! Why am I shrinking?! My back! I can stand straight up like Mario?!
Karminy: Yes!!! It's working! The transformation is almost complete!
Zoshi has turned into a bone version of Zoshi, but then his body starts changing, and, and, who knows what he is now. He is surrounded in gray smoke.
?????: I can't see, what am I?!
They gray smoke finally clears, and standing where the platinum Yoshi, Zoshi, was standing, a Dry Bones with silver bones, and a diamond sike-studded shell appears. His eyes are white like normal Dry Bones. He blinks and his eyes become red. Then lots of dramatic stillshots of "Zry Zones" start coming up, like from top, side, other side, bottom, front, and back.
Zry Zones: Yes, Karminy, my master. What is your bidding?
Karminy: Destroy the Mario Gang! Go Zry Zones, destroy them!!!
Zry Zones: Zry Zones is a stupid name.
Karminy: WHAT?!
Zry Zones: You lack originality. My name shall be Bonz.
Karminy: Oh yeah, real original. Go Bonz, destroy the Mario Gang.
Bonz: Yes Master. But they're already destroyed.
Karminy: Well the Queen of the Underwhere probably let them out by now.
Bonz goes through a black warp pipe with a skull on it that Karminy makes appear in the Kastle. Bonz then appears in the Underwhere next to a Shayde.
Shayde: Who are you?
Bonz just hits him with a bone, and te Shayde gets knocked out. When Bonz talks to the queen, she tells him that they were let free back to Plit, and Bonz goes back to the Black Pipe and appears in Karminy's Kastle.
Bonz: Karminy, the enemies have appeared in the Mushroom Kingdom again. They were let free.
Karminy: In that case, take this pipe!
Karminy makes another black warp pipe appear, this one with a Mushroom symbol on it.
Karminy: And I'll give you this power. I have run out of black warp pipes and this is a one-way ticket, so take this!
Karminy sends Bonz a flashing
black spell that starts spinning around Bonz, and some text appears above
him:
You got the Pipe Summon
ability! When you need to go back to a place you've already visited, place
a Black Pipe, then place another pipe, and another, and then you'll have
a whole network of Black Pipes to use!
After the text, Bonz goes through the pipe Karminy made, and lands right next to Toadstool Castle.
Toad: OH MY DAD!!! IT'S AN EVIL DRY BONES!!!
Bonz: I am Bonz Bones, servant to Karminy Koopa.
Mario: What-a have you-a done to Zoshi?!
Bonz: Zoshi? Does not compute.
Luigi: I-a thought you-a were dead, not a computer.
Bonz: As far as you know. I am ready to END-YOUR-GAME!!!
A curtain falls and then rises.
Bonz
Lv. 100
HP: 100
Toad
Lv. 25
HP: 25
Bonz used Bonzerang! Criticaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal
Hit!
(Francis, get out of here!!!
Francis: Sorry!)
Toad used Toe Step!
Bonz HP: 100 - 1 = 99
Toad HP: 25 - 25 = 0
Toad switched out with
Peach.
Peach
Lv. 50
HP: 50
Bonz used Bonz Build! A
Mini-Bonz was built!
Mini-Bonz used Minirang!
Peach used Crownerang!
Bonz HP: 99 No Damage
Mini-Bonz HP: 50 - 4 =
46
Peach HP: 50 - 10 = 40
Bonz used Bonztab!
Mini-Bonz used Kamibaze!
Peach used a Vegetable!
Bonz HP: 99 - 50 = 49
Mini-Bonz HP: 46 - 50 =
Who cares, he's dead.
Peach HP: 40 - 50 = Who
cares, she's dead too.
Mini-Bonz died
Peach switched out with
Yoshi, who cowards out, so he switched out with Luigi.
Luigi
Lv. 100
HP: 100
Bonz used Selfbonstruct!
(Heals 50 and damages 50)
Luigi used Jump!
Bonz HP: 49 + 50 = 99 -
5 = 94
Luigi HP: 100 - 50 = 50
Cutscene...
Luigi: It's no use, we can't beat him! Only Mario can beat this menac-
Bonz used Bonzarang, and finished off Luigi.
Bonz: Mario, you are my only match. If you cannot beat me, none of your pathetic friends can!
End Cutscene...
BONZ LEVELED UP!!!
Mario has entered the match
Bonz
Lv. 101
HP: 101
Mario
Lv. 200
HP: 200
Bonz used Bonz Build! Mini-Bonz
was built!
Mini-Bonz used Mini-Build!
Micro-Bonz was built!
Micro-Bonz used Microrang!
Mario used Fireball!
Bonz HP: 101 No Damage
Mini-Bonz HP: 50 No Damage
Micro-Bonz HP: 25 - 10
= 15
Mario HP: 200 - 5 = 195
Bonz used MegaMiniMicro
Slaughter!
Mini-Bonz used Power Up!
(x2 attack next turn!)
Micro-Bonz used Soul Drain!
(sucks energy)
Mario used Power Up!
Bonz HP: 101 No Damage
Mini-Bonz HP: 50 No Damage
Powered Up
Micro-Bonz HP: 15 + 5 =
20
Mario HP: 195 - 45 = 150
- 5 = 145 Powered Up
Bonz used Bonzarang! Criticaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal
Hit!!!
(Francis, I mean it!
Francis: Sorry!)
Mini-Bonz used Kamibaze!
Micro-Bonz used Mini-Kamibaze!
Mario used Power Jump!
(x2 normal jump, x2 again for the Power Up!) It failed, Mini-Bonz is about
to end his own game!
Bonz HP: 101 No Damage
Mini-Bonz HP: 50 - 50 =
0 Dead
Micro-Bonz HP: 20 - 25
= -5 Dead
Mario HP: 145 - 25 = 120
- 50 = 70 - 25 = 45
Bonz used Black Pipe! (1-hit KO!) Mario got pw3nd!
The curtain falls and rises, but there is no more battle stage.
Bonz beat the entire Mario Gang without even dropping a sweat.
Mario: He's-a too powerful, I-a can't defeat him...
Bonz: And you never will!
Everyone in the Mario Gang passes out, and Bonz puts them in a sack and takes them down a Black Pipe he summons to Karminy's Kastle.
When Mario finally wakes up he can hear Bonz and Karminy speaking. He then realizes he is in a cage, and sees the rest of the Mario Gang, and wakes them all up.
Mario: We're-a in Kastle Karminy again-a?!
Luigi: SHH! I-a hear… something.
Bonz: Enemies captured, Master Mistress!
Karminy: Nice job, Zoshi- I mean Bonz.
Luigi: Did-a I-a hear what I-a think I heard?
Peach: So Bonz is actually Zoshi?!
Toad: Well that explains why he likes the letter "Z" so much.
Yoshi: True dat, bro, true dat.
Mario: Let's-a get out of-a this cage.
Mario and Luigi both work together to melt a few bars of the cage. Bonz walks into the room, but turns around to some other direction as he complains, and then Mario hits him with a chair and knocks him out.
Zoshi: Uhh... Where am I? Why am I a skeleton, did I get shorter or did you all get bigger?! How come I can stand up straight?! Where's my saddle?! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!
Toad: Hate to break it to you, but you’re a Dry Bones.
Zoshi: A WHAT?!
Yoshi: You fought us, you no longer Yoshi's species. You now dead Koopa.
Peach: And you called yourself Bonz when you first fought us.
Zoshi (I mean Bonz from now on): So I guess that'll be my new name. I am no longer Zoshi Dino, I am now Bonz Bones! So have you all stopped the black sky event?
Mario Gang: Well... No.
Bonz: Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's go!
They walk into Karminy's room.
Karminy: Bonz, I see the prisoners have awoken.
Bonz: Yes, Master Mistress...
He turns to wink at the heroes.
Karminy: Now come here, we shall destroy them together!
Bonz: Yes, Master Mistress...
Karminy: Bonz, what are you doing?!
Bonz: Ending this!
Bonz grabs the real Crystal Ball and shatters it to pieces.
Karminy: Without it I'm powerless!
The black sky fades away...
Bonz: Then I'll use the power you gave me to send you to the Underwhere!
Karminy: How'd you know you've been to the Underwhere? How did you know about the power?
Bonz: Easy. *snicker* I used the pause menu.
Karminy: Darn pause menu!
Bonz: Black Pipe Summon!
He points at Karminy and
a Black Pipe appears under her and sucks her into the Underwhere. Then
text appears above Bonz:
You may now use Black Pipes
to go to 3 new places!
The Mushroom Kingdom -
Toadstool Castle
Dark Land - Karminy's Kastle
Underwhere - Underwhere
Bonz: Cool. So am I going to stay like this?
Luigi: I-a think so.
Bonz: Okay, I'll adapt.
Mario: Well-a, the world was-a saved from a second Ice-a Age.
Luigi: What-a do we do-a now?
Toad: Slumber Party?
Yoshi: That for girls, Yoshi not girl.
Toad: Your point is...?
Yoshi: ... Toad right. Slumber Party!!!
Peach: I'll call Toadsworth to make the preparations!
Bonz: Everyone, jump through this Pipe!
Everyone goes through Bonz's Pipe. Bonz is the last one in, he then pops back up and waves at the camera, and goes back in again.
The End
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