Survivor 2009

By Anoboo


Lemmy: Welcome back to Lemmy's Land Survivor 2009! In the last installment, we met our FRESH new batch of losers- er, CASTAWAYS, and sorted them into two tribes: The Galloping Goombas, sporting an attractive crimson flag, and the Screaming Spinies, who carry the green flag of... uh, green.  The game is about to commence as the two teams search the island for their campgrounds! And now...

Lemmy kicks up a lawnchair next to a sunbathing Bowser, dons a pair of shades, and lounges in it.

Lemmy: We watch!


Dakota: All right, let's take a look at this...

Dakota rolls out the map, which resembles a crudely drawn amoeba. Roy is drawn in the corner stomping on Iggy's head.

Dakota: ... Um.

Solomon: Hey, Lemmy, what kind of map is this?!

Lemmy: Huh? I don't know, I'm not a cartographer. Figure it out yourself!

Vanessa: Come on now, I'm sure you can figure it out! You seem like the smart type... Heeheehee!

Dakota: W-what?

Dakota, Soccer Player, Koopa: So, when I first got acquainted with everyone, my team seemed pretty cool... Except for that CREEPY Vanessa girl.  I think she has a thing for me, maybe, but... Uh, she's not my type.

Vanessa, Phone Operator, Dry Bones: Oh my GOSH, that Dakota is such a HOTTIE!  I get goosebumps just LOOKING at that hunk of man!  Well, if I had hair... Teehee! And he's totally into me too.

Solomon, Lord of Darkness, Magikoopa: I felt kinda bad for the kid, I mean... How shall I put this?  If it were between Vanessa and four-month-old roadkill, I think I'd go for option number 2. Oh yes, she's THAT bad.

Gulliver, Boomerang Bro, Koopa: I'm just so RELIEVED it's him and not me! Whew!

Russell, Flooring Inspector, Podoboo: Where did they FIND her?  Er, she's not going to hear this, is she? I hate to be rude, but... She's hideous!

Vanessa, Phone Operator, Dry Bones: I think all the other guys are already jealous, seeing as how I'm totally the hottie of the season! Don't worry fellas, there's plenty of Vanessa for everyone! Teehee~!

Floshi: *pulls a tag off the side of the flag* Uh, let's see... Please deliver to the proper campsite, if you want food.  Love, Lemmy.

Bubba: Huh? W-we won't get any food, at all?!

Gulliver: Well, not as long as we carry the flag with us, right?  It doesn't look so big!

Gulliver grabs onto the flag at its base and struggles to pull it up.  He manages to get it about an inch off the ground, but his arms give way and he drops it on his foot.

Gulliver: YAAAAAGH!

Bobbara, Yoga Instructor, Bob-omb: When the boomerang guy dropped the flag after TWO seconds of trying to get it off the ground, I knew he had to be the weak link.  It was absolutely pathetic.

Dakota and Solomon both grab onto the flag and attempt to pull it up, getting it only slightly higher than Gulliver had.  After a few seconds, however, it crashes back to the ground.

Dakota: T-that thing's heavy!

Corina: But it looks as though it's made of wood, doesn't it?

Lemmy: Yeah, wood.  Aaand, a few industrial weighted bricks melted down and shaped into a nice, sturdy pole.

Boolia: And industrial... weighted brick?

Lemmy: *shrug* I don't know what they're for, presumably industry. But they're so handy!

Floshi: Aw, come on guys, what do we need food for anyway?  We can learn so much from going hungry, it'll focus our minds and we'll be ready to handle anyth-

Bubba: Are you CRAZY?  I'd like to hear you say that when we're huddled on the ground STARVING TO DEATH!

Solomon: (aside to Dakota and Russell) I wonder how long it takes to burn 300 pounds of blubber.

Bubba, Mall Security, Clubba: When I was a little boy, I had to go to camp for a week and we got practically nothing to eat. It was horrible!  Since then, I NEVER miss a chance to get a good meal.

Dakota: All right, take it easy, big guy.  We'll find some way to move the flag...  If only there were some way we didn't have to carry it with us.

Solomon: Hm? Hey now, that cliche, overdone "If only" sentence has just given me a brilliant idea!

Solomon turns to the flag, grinning.  He pulls out his wand.


The Spinies have already run into the same dilemma.  Hiro and Anti Guy are attempting to lift the behemoth flag into the air.

Pennery, Private Investigator, Bumpty: When we started off, not even a mind so refined as my own could decipher the chicken scratch of a map we'd be given, and to make matters worse, our flag wouldn't budge.  However, the other team seemed to be having similar problems.  Until...

There is an explosion of considerable proportion and the red flag, having sprouted legs, goes running past the Spinies.

Solomon: Out of our way!

The Goombas all chase after their flag, knocking over most of the Spinies in the process.  They run off into the jungle, leaving their map behind.

Rex: UGH, can you believe that?!

Ruby: Typical. Absolutely NO respect for the other team.

Roda: Come on guys, this means they're already ahead of us! We've GOTTA find a way to move this thing!

Dizzy: Well, what if we all lift it at the same time? I'm sure our combined strength would be enough to move it!

Rex, Activist, Goomba: That little Shy Guy gets on my nerves, definitely, but he actually had a genuinely decent idea.  Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought.

Ruby, Rex, Dizzy, Hiro, Roda, Anti Guy, and Goombretta all attempt to lift the flag together.  They lift it considerably, but don't have enough strength to keep it up.

Rex: Come on, what're the rest of you doing?

Myss T: Eh, I don't like to get my hands dirty.

Roda: Then WHAT are you doing on the show?

Myss T. rolls her eyes and returns to her reading.

Anti Guy, Bruise Maker, Shy Guy: Myss T. had to be a lazy little brat and act all pretty and fragile.  That's just great, sweetheart, that'll keep you in the game a REAL long time.

Anti Guy: (to Stanley and Pennery) Well, what about you guys? You look like a couple of... strapping young men. Get off your butts and lend us a hand!

Pennery: *shrug* Well, if you insist, but I must assure you that my physical prowess is lacking.

Anti Guy: You too, creepy guy!

Stanley: ... Oh, um... I d-don't...

Ruby:  We need all the help we can get, Stanley! Come ON!

Stanley, Web Surfer, Beanbean: ... ... ... R-Ruby's pretty hot... Heheh...

Stanley: Oh, uh, sure...

The Beanbean shuffles over to the flag, standing uncomfortably close to Ruby and grinning awkwardly.

Anti Guy: And you, Goth girl!

Trixie stares Anti Guy in the eyes for a few seconds, not moving a muscle.

Anti Guy: ... Eh, you do whatever you want.

Goombretta, Cute Little Girl, Goomba: I thought it was so gweat how we were all working together! Well, except for those other two... I wonder why they didn't want to help?

Hiro: Well hey, the nine of us might just be enough! Let's give it another shot!

All of those holding the flag make one more attempt to hoist it into the air, this time succeeding in lifting it up.  The sunlight shines on the flag as it flaps brilliantly in the wind.  Cheers of joy erupt from most of the team.

Rex: All right, one of you guys take a look at the map and figure out where in the world we're supposed to be going.

Myss T. is buried in her book.  Trixie just stares blankly into space.

Roda: Hey! Hello?!

Myss T: *puts down book* What?

Ruby: Help us out here! Pick up the map!

Myss T: You expect me to read THAT thing?

Dizzy, Fun Promoter, Shy Guy: I thought it was REALLY cool how we all worked together to get our flag up, but those girls who weren't helping?  Come ON! Do they want to be the first ones voted out?

Trixie abruptly walks up to the map, picks it up, and starts walking towards the jungle.

Dizzy: Huh? H-hey, you guys! I think she's figured it out! Let's follow her!

The team, carrying the flag, follow Trixie into the jungle, with Myss T. following behind them.


Russell and Solomon are sitting by a tree in the jungle, catching their breath.

Russell: You probably should have thought this through, man.

Solomon: Shut it!  All we have to do is get a hold of the thing and we can tell it where to go.

Russell: Yeah, but where did it go?

There's a rustling in the bushes.  The two make a glance towards the source of the noise, then look to each other.

Solomon: All right, on the count of three, we grab it!

Russell: But I don't have any-

Solomon: One... two... THREE!

Russell and Solomon leap into the bush, which catches on fire due to Russell's contact.  Gulliver rockets into the air, clutching his rear end.


Russell: Oops! Sorry, Gulliver!

The Boomerang Bro lands in a pool of water.  A generous amount of steam hisses from underneath him.

Solomon: Sorry, we thought you might have been the flag.  Did you see where it went?

Gulliver:  Beats me.  I ran into Bubba, he knocked me into the bushes, he was running so fast!

Russell: Do you think he found it?

Solomon: Maybe! Let's go after him!

The three crawl through the bushes and find a trail of oversized footprints running through the mud.

Gulliver: (pointing in the direction of the prints) I think he went this way!

Solomon and Russell stop and glare at him for a brief moment.

Gulliver: ... W-what?

They follow the footprints for a ways until they run into a dead end.

Russell: Huh?!

Solomon: Where did he...

They hear a rustling of leaves behind them.  They turn around and see a red flag flying through the treetops.

Solomon: There it is, after it!

They chase it into the trees.  Solomon runs for a while and immediately loses track of the flag and the other two.

Solomon: Huh? Hey, where'd you guys go?!

Boolia appears from the foliage and crashes into Solomon.  The two fall to the ground.

Boolia: Yikes! Sorry about that, dude!

Solomon: Dang it, I just saw the thing!

Boolia:  Yeah, me too! I came running, but I lost it pretty quickly.

Solomon: AGH, this is so frustrating!


Corina is floating above the jungle, Floshi sitting on her head.

Corina: Do you see it anywhere, dearie?

Floshi: No, not yet... Hey wait, is that the green flag?!

Corina: Oh, it seems they've really got a grip on this!

Floshi: Agh! Don't worry, we can still find ours! Umm... Let's see...

Floshi continues scanning the treetops for any sign of the red flag.  Suddenly, she sees a flash of red poke out from a spot in the jungle.

Corina: Hm? Did you see it?

Floshi: Yeah! Yeah, right over there! Bring me in closer!

Corina floats closer to the spot Floshi pointed out.  The flag runs through another spot in the trees.

Floshi: There it is! Did you see it?

Corina: I sure did! Are you ready, little Yoshi?

Floshi: YOU BET I AM!

Corina curls up Floshi like a Spiny, takes aim, and flings her towards the flag.


Trixie steps into a clearing.  There is a pile of wood and a large green stone with a Spiny engraved and a hole on top. The rest of the group enter the clearing, still holding up the flag.

Hiro: Hey! I think we made it!

Rex: Wow! Nice going, creepy Goth girl!

Trixie turns slowly towards the rest of the team.

Trixie: Thank you.

Ruby, Sharpshooter, Snifit: You know, that Trixie girl scared me at first, but after she found the campsite so flawlessly, I kind of respect her.

Hiro, Ladies' Man, Ninji: She's actually kind of hot, now that I think about it... I mean, Goth's usually not my type, but hey, she seems pretty cool!

There's a rustling in the leaves.  Myss T. crawls into the campsite and straightens her glasses.

Anti Guy: Welcome to the camp, Princess.

Myss T: You guys just LEFT me back there!  I was trying to follow along and I tripped and fell! And YOU GUYS just kept moving!

Rex: *rolls eyes* Well you know, you COULD'VE helped us out.

Myss T: I already told you, lifting's not my thing!

Myss T, Librarian, Mushroomer: I don't know why they expect me to carry that thing around. I'm an artist, not a... a lifter!

Roda, Future Winner, Nomadimouse: I don't think she realizes it, but I think Myss T's painting herself a nice, big target right on her you-know-where! I know where MY vote is going this week.

Rex: All right, let's get the flag to its spot.  Come on, everyone!

The team work together and place the flag into the stone.  Glorious music plays as the sun shines brilliantly on the flag.

Dizzy: Gee, I wonder how the other team's doing...

Suddenly, a stomping noise comes from the jungle.  The red flag runs into the middle of the clearing, with Floshi gripping firmly to the top of it.

Floshi: Hey guys! RARRGH!

The flag continues running through the jungle, carrying Floshi with it.

Anti Guy: I think it's pretty safe to say that we're ahead.

Pennery: Job well done!  Now we just have to set up camp.

Screaming Spinies: Hurrah!



Dakota wakes up somewhere in the jungle, having fallen asleep looking for the flag.  He stretches his arms, turns aside, and sees Vanessa resting her head on his shoulder.

Dakota: GAAAH!

Vanessa: Good morning, Sunshine!

Dakota: W-where did you come from?

Vanessa: I found you sleeping here so snuggly, and I... well, I thought you could use some company. Teeheehee~!

Dakota: Oh, er... Th-thanks.  What... what about the flag?

Vanessa: Hm? Oh, I was supposed to be looking for that, wasn't it?

Dakota: Wait, then what WERE you looking f-, nevermind. We're not going to get anywhere unless we get organized in some way.

Gulliver jumps out of the bushes and Dakota immediately grabs him.

Dakota: Stay here, we're gonna figure this out.

Gulliver: Uh, yes sir!

Dakota: You seen anybody else running around?

Gulliver: Er, I ran into that bomb girl earlier.  I might still be able to find her.

Dakota: Good, go get her!

They search the jungle for the rest of the team members, eventually rounding up most of them.

Dakota: All right, we seem to have everyone here...

Viola: Eight... Nine... Ten... Hey, we're missing someone!

Bobbara: Yeah, where's that Yoshi girl?

The flag leaps from the foliage and Floshi falls to the ground, sleeping soundly.

Dakota: Huh... Well that answers your question.  All right, so that's everyone.  We're going to have to get some sort of grip on the flag if we want to make any progress. Solomon, can't you use your magic again?

Solomon: I've tried, the thing's too fast!

Boolia: If we got it to stop, do you think you'd be able to do something?

Solomon: Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Dakota: All right, so we've gotta stop the flag somehow.  I'm gonna need everyone's help here, I've got a few ideas...

Cut to the team holding a long strand of rope, half on each side.  The red flag starts running towards them and they pull it tight.  The flag runs through the rope, but pulls it with it, dragging the whole team along.  The flag runs through some water, dropping the rope and soaking the entire team.


Bubba stands next to a tree, whistling casually.  Viola, sitting in a tree, gives him a hand signal.  The Clubba sticks his leg out in front of the flag's path.  The flag simply steps on Bubba's leg.  He yelps in pain, hopping around on one leg.  The vibrations cause Viola to fall out of the tree and land on top of him.


Bobbara is sitting in the middle of a path, looking confused.  The flag soon approaches.  Gulliver picks up Russell and flings him into Bobbara, setting off her fuse.  The flag gets closer to the Bob-omb.  Russell gets out of the way, but Bobbara in her fury, chases after him.  Gulliver and Russell yelp as they're both caught in her explosion.  The flag runs casually past.


Vanessa poses in front of the flags path.  She stretches out her bony leg and gives the flag a wink.  The flag disregards this and steps on her, causing her to fall to pieces.


Boolia finishes digging a huge hole in the ground.  Corina starts covering it with leaves and the two give each other a thumbs up.  Soon, the flag comes running.  Floshi, half-awake, drowsily walks onto the pile of leaves and falls into the trap.  Boolia slaps her face and Corina shakes her head. The flag runs casually past them.


Dizzy: Hey guys! I hear something!

The sound of a helicopter grows louder as the team gathers in the middle of their camp.  The helicopter lowers and Lemmy pokes out his head.

Lemmy: Good afternoon, Spinies!  It seems you successfully brought your flag to the campsite and have even put together some light shelter.  Well done!  As a reward, here's some food to get you going!

Everywhere cheers as Lemmy slowly pushes out a large crate.  The crate falls out of the helicopter and crushes Stanley.  It pops open and fresh fruit rolls out.

Roda: All right! Well done, team!

Rex, Activist, Goomba: I was impressed with how well we pulled through.  At first it seemed like we had a pretty useless group on the team, but hey, we're not doing so bad!

Lemmy: Consider that to be your Reward Challenge!  The Goombas have yet to find their camp OR retrieve their flag, so you have a pretty sizeable break ahead of you.  Enjoy the food!

The helicopter flies off into the distance.

Myss T: All right! I'm starving!

Anti Guy: Woah woah woah, hold on now, it's not like YOU contributed anything to earn this!

Myss T: Huh? B-but I...

Rex: He's right.  You can go find your own food, why should you get any of the reward?

Goombretta: No, stop!

Everyone glances at the little girl. Her lip is trembling.

Goombretta: Mrs. Toad wady, you... you can have my food! I don't want you to be hungry!

Pennery:  But my dear, she didn't give a lick of effort!

Goombretta: But we're still a team, awen't we?  Come on, we shouldn't be teawing apart wike this!

Hiro: H-hey, you know, I think I agree with her.  Maybe she didn't pull through yesterday, but I don't think we need to outright reject her! She's a Spiny too!

Stanley: ... She's hot.

Everyone stops and glares at Stanley.

Myss T: E-excuse me?!

Stanley turns bright red and turns aside, giggling creepily.

Ruby, Sharpshooter, Snifit: I swear, something's not right with that Beanbean guy.  He... gives me the creeps.

Myss T: Look, guys, I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday... Can you please forgive me?

The team members glance at one another awkwardly.  Rex lets out a sigh.

Rex: Yeah yeah, whatever.

Roda: Come on, let's stop fussing over who contributed what.  We have a day to chill out for a while, so let's take advantage of it!

Stanley, Web Surfer, Beanbean: I like to watch the mouse talk... She's... hot... Heheheheh...

Pennery: Right right, so for the time being, let us put away feelings of dismay and celebrate our victory!

Spinies: Hurrah!


Dakota: All right... This isn't working... Let's stop and rethink this...

Evening has fallen, and the Goombas collapse in exhaustion.  The flag is still running around the jungle.

Bobbara: Doesn't that thing EVER get tired?

Solomon: Not really... It's not like it's a living thing, it's more like a magic-powered machine.

Dakota: A machine?

Solomon: Well yeah, I can't CREATE life, just animation.  It doesn't have a soul or a consciousness or anything, so it's just like a magic, walking pair of legs with a flag attached.

Dakota: Say... You think there's any way we could control that thing?

Solomon: What do you mean?

Dakota: Can't you whip up like a remote control or something?

Solomon: Hmm... Well, I can make objects attract each other.  If we could get one stuck on the flag and bring the other to the campsite, it just might be dragged here.

Dakota: Well, does anyone even know where the campsite is?

Bubba: Ooh, I do! I found it yesterday, I think I remember how to find it!

Dakota: Okay, so... We can cast the spell on a rock or something firmly planted at the campsite.  Do we have anything that we can attach to the flag?

Everyone immediately glances at Floshi, who is still asleep. Dakota and Solomon grin broadly at one another.


Bubba knocks down a tree and steps into the Goombas' campsite.  It is a clearing just like the Spinies', with a large red stone with a Goomba engraved in it and a hole in the top.

Dakota: Perfect! All we have to do is plant the bug, and when it's set, Solomon can cast an attraction spell on the rock and the flag will come to US!

Solomon: I have to cast in two parts, one for each object.  Where's the Yoshi girl?

Boolia smacks Floshi upside the head and she wakes up.

Floshi: HYAH! LEMME AT 'EM! ... Oh, good morning!

Dakota: All right Floshi, you ready to help us out?

Floshi: Huh? You bet! What do I have to do?

Solomon: Just hold still for now.

Solomon begins chanting.  Floshi raises an eyebrow.


Corina flies in from the jungle.

Corina: She's got it! Everything's set up, my dears!

Solomon: All right, stand back and watch the magic!

Solomon begins chanting a spell on the red stone.  It glows brightly, then flashes a bright light.

Solomon: That should do it!


Bobbara: I'm not even sure what's going ON.

Gulliver: Wait, do you hear something?

There is a screaming in the distance.

Boolia: I think it's her!


Dakota: She's coming! Everyone out of the way!


Floshi, gripping the flag firmly, comes flying into the campground. She slams face-first into the rock and the flag goes flying into the air, landing firmly in its spot on the rock.  Everyone cheers. Solomon zaps the flag with his wand and the legs disappear.

Bobbara, Yoga Instructor, Bob-omb: That was SO much more effort than it was worth! It's not like I'm even that hungry...

Bubba, Mall Security, Clubba: I'M. SO. HAPPY!!!

Lemmy shows up in his helicopter and looks down at the team.

Lemmy: Wow, it's about time!  I have to say, that was really, REALLY sad to watch.  But hey, you made it! Here ya go!

Lemmy pushes a crate out of the copter. It crushes Gulliver and opens up. Fruit rolls out of the crate.

Viola, Naturalist, Koopa: I was really impressed how Dakota handled everything! I think he's, like, one of those natural-born leaders.

Vanessa, Phone Operator, Dry Bones: WHAT A HUNK! Teeheehee~!

Russell: Um, you know, we still don't have a shelter and we need to prepare for the competition tomorrow.

Everyone abruptly realizes that they have no shelter of any sort.  There is a mass of groaning amongst the team.




It is fairly early in the morning.  Dizzy is running around excitedly, waking up the team.

Rex: What in the world is that?

Anti Guy: Who else?


Dizzy, Fun Promoter, Shy Guy: I couldn't contain my excitement! I wanted everyone to be as ready as I was! YEAH!

Roda and Ruby start to wake up.  Roda turns her head, opens her eyes, and sees a face looming above her.


Stanley: H-h-hello...


Stanley: ... Heheheh...


There is an enormous explosion as Stanley flies into the air, burnt to a crisp.  Ruby grabs him by the collar as soon as he lands.

Ruby: Y-you listen here, you little CREEP. If I EVER catch you pulling that again, you're DEAD!

Stanley: ... S-s-sorry... Heheheh...

Roda, Future Winner, Nomadimouse: I couldn't BELIEVE that guy! That's so... so... EW!

Ruby, Sharpshooter, Snifit: SUCH a pervert! It's disgusting!

Stanley, Web Surfer, Beanbean: Pretty... pretty girls...

Lemmy's voice booms on a loudspeaker.  Seagulls take off from the noise.



The two teams make their way to the beach.  Lemmy is standing next to a large tub of water with two platforms in it.

Lemmy: Welcome, lose- ahem, Dastaways!  This is your first immunity challenge!  The team that wins the immunity will be safe from elimination tonight!  And the team that loses will be sending someone home.

Rex glares at Myss T.

Lemmy: The challenge is pretty simple!  One member from each team will stand on a platform and be given one of these huge cotton swab thingies! The two will try to knock each other off, into our tank of Big Bertha-infested water!

The teams gasp as Big Berthas leap out of the water, clamping their mouths violently.

Rex: Uh, hey, Koop, some of us don't have any arms to hold those things.

Lemmy: Oh, you're right.  Those without arms will have to sit out.

Rex: Aw, LAME!

Lemmy: So that means Rex, Goombretta, Russell, and Bobbara, you guys are sitting out!

Bobbara: ARGH!

Lemmy: Now, the person that wins each fight gains a point for their team.  The first team to five points wins immunity!  Any questions?

Gulliver raises his hand.

Lemmy: I don't wanna hear 'em!  Now, the first two contenders are... Bubba and Trixie!

Bubba nervously steps up to his platform.  Trixie is already there, clutching her weapon.

Lemmy: One... two... three... FIGHT!

Bubba tries to maintain his balance as Trixie stares at him blankly.

Bubba: W-hoha! Hey, uh, I'm not a great fighter, so... S-stop looking at me like that!

Trixie continues staring, not even blinking.

Bubba: You're really scaring me here! Cut that out!

Trixie: ...

Bubba: I'm losing my balance! Oh no!

Trixie: Fall.

Bubba tumbles into the water, creating a colossal splash.  The Big Berthas cannot actually swallow him, but instead latch onto him like leeches.

Lemmy: And that's a point for the Screaming Spinies!  Next up... Gulliver and Myss T!

Rex: Aw great, she doesn't stand a chance.

Myss T: H-hey, come on!

Anti Guy: Just give 'em the point, why don'cha?

Myss T. angrily grabs her weapon and steps up to the platform.  Gulliver manages to grab his and takes his position.

Lemmy: One... two... three... FIGHT!

Gulliver: I should warn you, I AM a trained-

Myss T: HYAH!

With one thwap, Myss T. knocks Gulliver into the water.  He leaps out, barely avoiding getting eaten by a Big Bertha.

Lemmy: And that's ANOTHER point for the Spinies!


Rex: Hm... Not bad.

Lemmy: That puts the score at Spinies - two, Goombas - NOTHING!  And next up, we have... Corina and Hiro!

Corina and Hiro take their respective positions.

Viola: (to Dakota) H-hey, I'm not really the fighting type... I've never done this kind of thing before.

Dakota: (to Viola) Don't worry about it, just picture someone you really hate and let loose!

Viola: ... But I don't know anyone like that.

Lemmy: One... two... THREE!

Hiro takes a swing prematurely, losing his balance.

Lemmy: ...go.

Corina smacks Hiro into the ground, causing him to become dizzy and fall into the water. He leaps out screaming with a Big Bertha clutching firmly to his arm.

Lemmy: And the Galloping Goombas score their first point! Next up to bat... Boolia and Pennery! GO!

Pennery: Oof!

Pennery is knocked into the water, scoring a point for the Goombas.

Lemmy: Vanessa, Ruby, you're up! OnetwothreeGO!

Ruby smacks Vanessa over the head, causing her to crumble to pieces and fall in the water.

Lemmy: Dakota, Dizzy, GOOO!

Dakota: Hyah!

Dizzy: ARGH!

Dizzy falls into the water. Viola is shaking nervously.


Anti Guy pokes Solomon and he goes flying into a palm tree.

Lemmy: Floshi, Roda, one, two, three, Gooooo!

Floshi: Take this, and THIS!

Floshi continually misses every swing.

Roda, Future Winner, Nomadimouse: Well, I could've taken that girl easily, but I didn't want everyone else to think I was the strongest player in the game... And the only one they had left was that girl who was shaking like a rattlesnake... So I decided to throw one.

Roda: Oh no, AGH!

Roda falls into the water, pretending to be hit by one of Floshi's strikes.

Floshi: YEAH, I DID IT!

Lemmy: All right, that brings us to our final two competitors!

Viola: Oh no...

Stanley: Heheheh...

Lemmy: Viola and Stanley, it's tied four to four, so this match decides the game!

Pennery, Private Investigator, Bumpty: Judging from the status of their remaining player, I could tell this last fight was a certain win.  She looked like she'd just seen a ghost!

Rex: Look at her, dude, this'll be a piece of cake!

Lemmy: All right, ready?  One... two... three....... Wait for it!  ... Aaaaand... GO!

Viola: Oh my gosh, I- I can't... I'm sorry, guys...

Stanley grins awkwardly at Viola.

Boolia: Aw man, we're doomed!

Dakota: Come on, you can do it!

Anti Guy: Just HIT her, Stan!

Stanley continues grinning awkwardly.  He barely moves.

Viola: G-go on, just do it...

Stanley gets a nosebleed and falls back into the water.  There is a deafening silence for a few moments.

Viola: D-did I just win?

Lemmy: That's a point for the Goombas! The GALLOPING GOOMBAS WIN IMMUNITY!

Stanley, Web Surfer, Beanbean: S-s-so... h-hot... Haaaaa....

Lemmy pulls out a large stone snail with jewels for eyes.

Lemmy: This is the immunity idol, Goombas.  With this, you are safe from elimination for tonight!  Just remember to bring it back next immunity challenge.  For now, go home and get some rest, you've earned it!

The Galloping Goombas head back, cheering.

Boolia, Perfume Salesgirl, Boo: I did NOT see that coming! Wow!

Floshi, Kickboxer, Yoshi: Oh YES! We totally kicked their butts! That was amazing!

Lemmy: As for the Screaming Spinies... Someone's going home tonight.  Think carefully, and I'll see you... at Tribal Council!

Rex: (to Myss T) Better get packing, Princess.

Myss T, Librarian, Mushroomer: I... I hope I didn't dig my own grave.  I just hate heavy lifting, but I guess that was a huge mistake...

Anti Guy, Bruise Maker, Shy Guy: It always seems like somebody jumps out as the person to send home first.  It's amazing.

Pennery, Private Investigator, Bumpty: I was most bothered by that creepy fellow's performance... We shall see how things turn out tonight.


The Screaming Spinies step up to a campfire bump in the middle of a stonehenge-like structure.  Facing the sea is a massive cannon, and surrounding the fire are eleven sticks.

Lemmy: Take a seat, everyone.  Welcome to Tribal Council!  Here, you will take a vote on who you THINK deserves to leave the game, never to return again!  One by one, you will go and write the name of the person you want to see gone, place it in the ballot, and return to your seat.  Myss T, it seems you have garnered a bit of hatred amongst the castaways.  Do you think it's justified?

Myss T: I- I'm sorry guys, I shouldn't have acted that way.  It's my fault for being such an idiot, and I'm ready to face the consequences.

Lemmy: Very well then.  With that said, it's time to cast your votes.  Dizzy, we'll start with you.

One by one, theCcastaways go and cast their votes.

Rex: (holding up a vote for Myss T) She ain't a team player, she's gotta go. Sorry about your precious fingernails, sweetie.

The voting continues.

Roda: (holding up a vote for Stanley) I had my privacy violated, and that creeper lost us the challenge!

The rest of the Castaways cast their votes.

Lemmy: Now then, I will read off the ballots.  The one with the most votes must take their stick from the campfire and break it over the head of the person they choose, as is Lemmy's Land tradition! And now, without further ado...

Lemmy pulls out a name.

Lemmy: Myss T.

Myss T. looks down as Lemmy pulls out another name.

Lemmy: Myss T. again. That's two for Myss T. And the next vote...

Lemmy pulls out another.

Lemmy: Stanley!

Lemmy continues pulling.

Lemmy: Myss T, Stanley, Myss T... That's four for Myss T. and two for Stanley.

Rex grins menacingly at Myss T.

Lemmy: And the next vote... Stanley.  And a fourth vote for Stanley. That ties it with four votes Myss T, four votes Stanley.

Lemmy pulls out two more votes.

Lemmy: One vote Stanley, one vote Myss T.  There is ONE more vote left in the ballot.

Stanley shakes awkwardly.  Myss T. is gathering tears in her eyes.

Lemmy: And, the FIRST person voted off of Survivor 2009 is...

Lemmy opens the vote.

Lemmy: STANLEY!  Pack your bags, you're headed home!

Rex: W-what?!

Myss T: W-what?!

Stanley: Heheheh... Bye everyone...

Stanley grabs his stick and holds it awkwardly.

Lemmy: ... Here, let me show you how to do it.

Lemmy grabs Stanley's stick and breaks it over his head.  Stanley receives a huge lump from the impact.

Lemmy: Thanks for playing! You fought... er, awkwardly, you... creeped people out, and... well, you kind of stank. But it was nice meeting you!

The Koopaling grabs Stanley and shoves him in the cannon. He lights the fuse and the Beanbean is sent flying into the horizon.  A creepy laugh echoes through the air.

Lemmy: Well, now that that's settled, the rest of you can rest easy.  You're all safe! For now...

The rest of the Spinies head back to camp.

Rex, Activist, Goomba: Well... He DID lose us the challenge, and he WAS creepy as anything.  Myss T's time will come, I can assure you.

Ruby, Sharpshooter, Snifit: Good riddance! That guy, he was always... touching me! Uggh...

Stanley, Web Surfer, Beanbean: ... Heheheh... Pretty... pretty girls...


Dizzy - Stanley (Lost the challenge and creeped on the girls)
Pennery - Myss T. (Refused to cooperate at the beginning of the game)
Hiro - Stanley (Same)
Rex - Myss T. (Same)
Myss T. - Stanley (Same)
Trixie - Myss T. (Went with the group)
Stanley - Myss T. (Same)
Goombretta - Stanley (Took a liking to Myss T)
Anti Guy - Myss T. (Same)
Ruby - Stanley (Invaded her privacy)
Roda - Stanley (Same)

Russell, Floring Inspector, Podoboo
Dakota, Soccer Player, Koopa
Corina, Bird Enthusiast, Lakitu
Solomon, Lord of Darkness, Magikoopa
Bubba, Mall Security, Clubba
Floshi, Kickboxer, Yoshi
Boolia, Perfume Salesgirl, Boo
Gulliver, Boomerang Bro, Koopa
Vanessa, Phone Operator, Dry Bones
Bobbara, Yoga Instructor, Bob-omb
Viola, Naturalist, Koopa

Dizzy, Fun Promoter, Shy Guy
Pennery, Private Investigator, Bumpty
Hiro, Ladies' Man, Ninji
Rex, Activist, Goomba
Myss T., Librarian, Mushroomer
Trixie, Creepy Goth Chick, Koopa
Goombretta, Cute Little Girl, Goomba
Anti Guy, Bruise Maker, Shy Guy
Ruby, Sharpshooter, Snifit
Roda, Future Winner, Nomadimouse
Days 1-3
Anti Guy Myss T.
Bobbara SAFE
Boolia SAFE
Bubba SAFE
Corina SAFE
Dakota SAFE
Dizzy Stanley
Floshi SAFE
Goombretta Stanley
Gulliver SAFE
Hiro Stanley
Myss T. Stanley
Pennery Myss T.
Rex Myss T.
Roda Stanley
Ruby Stanley
Russell SAFE
Solomon SAFE
Trixie Myss T.
Vanessa SAFE
Viola SAFE
Stanley Myss T.

To Be Continued...

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.