Episode 5: Battle for the Beetles
Lousy dimension Sant- Smithy. Yada. Yada. Yada. You know the rest.
Hipopo: Duh. Smithy, the cake monster lost-
WAM! SMASH! SQUISH!
Factory Chief appears.
Smithy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE THOSE SNIFITS! Grr. Hmm. I got it! From what I heard, their ugly imbecile friend Booster likes Beetles.
Factory Chief: So?
Smithy: I heard that the Beetle Shop is in Seaside.
Factory Chief: So?
Smithy: If Booster doesn’t get any Beetles, he is dead. The Snifits will be devastated. That is when we can defeat them.
Factory Chief: Oh. So should I send Yaridovich?
Smithy: NO! I have an idea. Later, Factory Chief.
Smithy leaves.
Factory Chief: Where is he going?
Meanwhile, Booster is riding around in his train when he feels hungry.
Booster: Ugh. I’m hungry and I’m out of Beetles. Snifits, Grate Guy, Knife Guy, come.
All: Yes.
Booster: Get some Beetles at Beetles R Us. Snifit 4 should have some.
Snifit 1: Sure, Boss.
The Snifits jump out the window.
Grate and Knife Guy: Idiots.
They teleport outside of the Tower.
Grate Guy: Come on. Off to Seaside Town.
They go there. They see Snifit 4 panicking.
Snifit 4: It’s terrible! Some pirate stole all of my Beetle Boxes and they had most of the Beetles. You must get them back. They went to the sea.
Snifit 3: We need scuba equipment.
Knife Guy: You do realize tha-
Snifit 1: Let’s go!
The Snifits go into the mayor’s house.
Snifits: Do you have scuba equipment?
Mayor: No.
They go upstairs.
Snifits: Do you have diving equipment?
Frog: No.
They go downstairs.
Snifits: Do you have scuba equipment?
Mayor: For the last time, no.
The Snifits go to the item shop.
Snifit 1: Do yo-
Mushroomer: No.
They go back to the mayor’s house.
Snifits: Do you have scuba equipment.
Mayor: @#$%! No! GET OUT!
Grate Guy: Guys, Mario didn’t need to breathe. Let’s go.
Snifits: Fine.
Later…
Grate Guy: Well, we’re here.
Shaman: Would you like to buy some stuff?
Grate Guy: Sure. I’ll take this and some of this, that looks nice, and this.
Shaman: Okay, that will be 325 gold coins.
Grate Guy: Um.
Knife Guy: Better Idea.
Knife Guy throws a knife at the Shaman, killing him. They continue walking and encounter Zeostars.
Group: Ahh.
Grate Guy: Meteor Blast.
They all die.
Grate Guy: Let’s keep going.
Group: Right.
Back at the Tower…
Dodo: Duh, I wonder when the Snifits will come. Booster keeps rolling.
He sees Booster having a seizure from not eating Beetles.
Dodo: Duh. Stop, Booster.
Back with the Snifits…
Snifits: There, look, a Mushroom.
Snifit 1 bites it. It is really a Blooper.
Snifit 1: Oops.
A Blooper army appears.
Group: Ahh!
Cheep Cheeps appear.
Group: Ahh!
Knife Guy: Knife Rain.
They all die.
Soon they get out of the cave. They see the entrance to the Sunken Ship is blocked by Bloopers.
Snifit 1: Look, there‘s Mario.
The Bloopers flee.
Grate Guy: Smart idea.
Snifit 1: No, I thought that was really Mario.
Grate Guy: -_- Let’s go.
They jump in. Inside…
Greaper: You’re all going to die.
Snifit 2: Over my dead body.
Greaper: Is he an idiot?
Grate Guy: Yes.
They go into the room where the Dry Bones are.
Snifits: Meat.
Knife Guy: Imbeciles.
They continue to where the blocks are.
???: If you can figure out the password I’ll let you in.
Snifit 1: It’s Idiot.
???: No.
Snifit 2: It’s Smelly.
???: Um. No.
Snifit 3: It’s Ugly.
???: You idiot, NO!
Grate Guy: I’m sure it’s P-
Snifits: I’m sure we know the answer.
2 hours later…
???: You idiots, it’s Pearls!
Snifit 1: That was my next guess.
???: Now you must fight me.
Snifit 1 58/58
Snifit 2 56/56
Snifit 3 57/57
Vs.
King Kalamari 120/120
Tentacle 15/15
Tentacle 15/15
Tentacle 15/15
The Snifits stack up and use Lightning Storm. Kalamari and the tentacles get stunned. The Snifits jump kick the tentacles, which collapse. Kalamari uses Ink Cannon. Splosh. BOOOOOOOM!!! The Snifits hit the wall. The Snifits stack upon each other and spin. Kalamari gets new tentacles and then the Snifits jump on Kalamari. Kalamari slaps the Snifits into a wall.
Snifit 1 43/58
Snifit 2 41/56
Snifit 3 42/57
Vs.
King Kalamari 100/120
Tentacles 15/15
15/15
15/15
The Snifits stack up and spin again, and this time shoot bullets while they spin. The tentacles and Kalamari get hit. Kalamari tentacle slams them. Kalamari also uses Venom Drool. Snifit 1 gets poisoned. The Snifits use new move Bullet Rain. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The tentacles collapse. Kalamari gets angry and uses Water Blast. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The Snifits hit the wall. Snifit 1 gets hurt from the poison.
Snifit 1 15/58
Snifit 2 16/56
Snifit 3 17/57
Vs.
Kalamari 85/120
The Snifits jump around the wall and Kalamari gets confuses, then the Snifits stack up and use Volt Cannon. Kalamari gets hurt badly. Kalamari gets his last tentacles out. Snifits use Gunk Cannon. Kalamari uses Ink Blast. SPLAT! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The battlefield is covered in ink as are the tentacles, Kalamari, and the Snifits. The Snifits stack up but they are so slippery that they collapse. Kalamari strangles Snifits 1 and 2. Snifit 3 reacts but Kalamari’s tentacles are too slippery so the Snifits slip through. Snifit 1 faints from the poison.
Snifit 1 0/58 X_X
Snifit 2 2/56
Snifit 3 7/57
Vs.
King Kalamari 60/120
Snifit 2 and 3 quickly use Storm. Kalamari gets electrified terribly. Grate Guy comes into the fight. Kalamari Tentacle Slams the Snifits and they faint. Knife Guy appears and takes out a butcher knife.
Kalamari: 0_0 Oh my DAD! Grr. Time to clean up.
Kalamari uses Tsunami. SPLASH!!! The jesters get hurt badly. Knife Guy chops up the Tentacles and Grate Guy uses Meteor Blast. Knife Guy stabs Kalamari’s eye.
Kalamari: Oh you @#-
Knife Guy: Woah. We’re trying to get this PG now.
Kalamari. without his tentacles, uses Water Blast. The Jesters get hurt. Grate Guy uses Meteor Swarm. Kalamari dies.
Battle over. Level Up.
As they walk they see a Hidon.
Hidon: To pass you must answer a riddle.
Grate Guy: Okay, that’s it.
He pulls out a flamethrower and sets the Hidon on fire.
Hidon: Oh noes.
The Hidon explodes.
Snifit 1: Okay.
While they walk they see Rat Funks shooting each other.
Rat Funk: *hic* Die.
They all die of a heart attack.
Snifit 2: Strange.
Soon they see a bunch of Bandana Reds.
Bandana Red: Who are you?
Snifit 3: Die!
He kills them with a barrel.
Grate Guy: Okay.
They make it to the room where Jonathan Johnny Jones is.
Johnny: So you want the Beetles. You’ll fight me for it. 5 on 5.
Snifit 1: Why did you take our Beetle Boxes?
Jonathan: A demonic Santa came and said “these Snifits are ripping off Mario”. I won’t let you rip-off me mate and friend Mario. If you want it then fight me.
Snifit 1 60/60
Snifit 2 58/58
Snifit 3 59/59
Grate Guy 64/64
Knife Guy 62/62
Vs.
Jonathan Johnny Jones 150/150
Bandana Blue 30/30
Bandana Blue 30/30
Bandana Blue 30/30
Bandana Blue 30/30
The Snifits stack up and shoot bullets around. Knife Guy and Grate Guy use double attack, Meteor Knife Blast. The Bandanas dodge but Jonathan just stands there. Jonathan and all the Bandanas throw their spears. The Snifit group get hurt by the spears as they fly to and from their enemies. Jonathan just stands there.
Snifit 1 50/60
Snifit 2 48/58
Snifit 3 49/59
Grate Guy 54/64
Knife Guy 52/62
Vs.
Jonathan Johnny Jones 130/150
Bandana Blue 30/30
30/30
30/30
30/30
Jonathan: Hmm. I need to end this because I’m busy, so... TSUNAMI!
Bandana Blue: WAIT! We wi-
The Tsunami hits everyone, even the Bandanas.
Snifit 1 10/60
Snifit 2 8/48
Snifit 3 9/59
Grate Guy 14/54
Knife Guy 12/52
Vs.
Jonathan Johnny Jones 130/150
Snifit 1 drinks a Super Shroom Shake, +20 HP. Knife Guy rams Jonathan but he puts up his spear. Grate Guy uses Ball Toss. SMACK! Jonathan gets hurt. The Snifits use Gunk Cannon. SPLAT! Jonathan uses Skewer. SHINK! Knife Guy gets hurt. ZAP! Jonathan gets hit by a Lightning Orb. Jonathan gets hurt and stunned. BAM! He gets hit by a Meteor Blast. Jonathan uses Get Tough.
Jonathan: Arg. Snifit 1, how about one-on-one?
Snifit 1: Sure.
Snifit Group: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Snifit 1 30/60
Vs.
Jonathan Johnny Jones 90/150
Snifit 1 runs towards him but Jonathan puts his spear up. Snifit 1 jumps but Jonathan skewers him. Snifit 1 gets hurt but gets up and uses Volt Cannon. It hits the spear and goes to Johnny. He gets stunned and Snifit 1 uses Storm. ZAP! Jonathan screams in pain. Jonathan uses Hook Grab to grab Snifit 1 and swing him around.
Snifit 1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I THINK THIS IS A RIP-OFF MOVE!
Jonathan keeps swinging him, then slams him on the ground. Jonathan uses Mega Drain and scores a direct hit.
Snifit 1 5/60
Vs.
Jonathan Johnny Jones 60/150
Snifit 1 eats an Ultra Mushroom, +50 HP. Jonathan uses Diamond Saw. SHINK! Snifit 1 gets hurt so he uses Bullet Rain. Jonathan grumbles. Jonathan throws his spear but this time Snifit 1 dodges. While in the air he shoots a Bullet Bill. Jonathan glows blue. Snifit 1 uses Electro Shock.
Snifit 1 45/60
Vs.
Jonathan 30/150
Jonathan unleashes Tsunami. SPLASH! Snifit 1 quickly uses Gunk Cannon. Jonathan can’t see for a while so Snifit 1 drinks a Super Shroom Shake, +20 HP. Jonathan uses Hook Grab and swings and smashes him. Snifit 1 quickly pulls out the flamethrower and uses it. The ship catches fire,
Everybody: Oh @#$%!
Jonathan: Oh dear. Must put it out. Tsunami.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! SPLASH!!!
Battle Over. Level Up.
Jonathan: Arg. You bested me. Even if you fainted, I lost first. I’ll keep my word; here, take the Beetle Boxes and leave.
The Snifits take the Boxes, but before they leave…
Jonathan: Arg. Make sure not to sell them high anymore. Oh, now I am your true mate and friend, Jonathan Johnny Jones.
After a long walk and swim they make it to Booster Tower.
Snifit 1: Booster, we’re he- AHHHHHHHHH!!!
They see Booster practically dead.
Snifit 2: Quick, give him the Golden Beetle.
Snifit 1: Right.
They put it in his mouth. Then Booster sprays golden juice all over Snifit 3.
Booster: Ohh. Huh? Who’s the new guy?
Snifit 3: Um. That’s me, sir, Snifit 3. You just covered me in Beetle Juice.
Booster: What took you so long?
Snifit 1: Well sir, you see, Sn-
Booster: Listen, the important thing is I’m alive. Thanks, Snifits.
Grate Guy and Knife Guy: Sir, you’re forgetting us, we hel-
Booster: Yeah, that’s nice. Go get my train.
Grate Guy and Knife Guy: *grumble grumble*
Knife Guy: I guess I need to look at my strong knife.
???: Strong knife, eh? Hmm. Must report to Master Smithy.
So ends Episode 5.