Toad Battles Bowser 2: Attack of teh Clones

By Cornpie

Recap: Ok, so last time the 8 Bowsers were created: Typhoon, Cupid, Heat, Earth, Shadowser, Xtreme, Lightning, and regular old Dry Bowser. They battled Toad, and pwned him, as well as Fawful, Diddy, and Toadette. I made SMBZ jokes, made Toad unclog a toilet, and other funny things also happened. In the end they were blasted to Sarasaland by a Falcon Kick. Will they find their friends, defeat the 8 Bowsers, and save Peach? Or will they end up getting lost in the desert and perish? I don't know, but we'll find out soon in the second exciting chapter of Toad Battles Bowser 2: Attack of Teh Clones. (Note: In case you didn't know, the "Teh" in the title is on purpose.)

Chapter 2: To Sarasaland and Back
A random star appears in the blue desert sky, then Toad and Co. fall down into the ground of sand.

Toad: Uhg... What happened? Why are in a desert? Why does my head hurt? Why are my shoes painted purple?!

Cornpie is seen walking away with a can of purple paint.

Toad: ...

Diddy and Fawful: HAHAHAHA!

Toadette: (playing Nintendogs) YAY! My Wolf learned how to eat deer!

Toad, Diddy, Fawful, Cornpie, AG, Humanity, and Existence: O_O

Todette: Action Repla- *DS explodes due to cheating* Never mind.

Diddy: Well, should we go find a way to a nearby town?

Toad: Probably, and since I heard the recap saying we're in Sarasaland, let's try to find Luigi or Daisy.

Toadette: That's a good idea.

Fawful: You just think that because you have a crush on him.

Toadette: Do knot!

Cornpie: AHHH! TYPO!

Toadette: You meant for me to say that!

Cornpie: Oh no I di'int!

Toadette: Oh yes you di'id.

Toad: Will you two shut u'up?

Cornpie mysteriously disappears, Toadette shuts up.


That says Tofu!

Toad: ... Well let’s move-on.

So they start walking around and guess what they're doing, stomping Goombas and Koo- OMG A PIG JUST FELL FROM THE SKY! Just kidding. So they're stomping on Goombas and Koopas, and the occasional Buzzy Beetle. But then...

Goomba: HEY! You can't stomp on me! You stomp on me, and you die! FIGHT!


Toad: 1,000
Toadette: 700 (I'm just rounding their stats to the nearest hundred. Kinda, I might be wrong.)
Diddy: 800
Fawful: 900
Goomba: 500
Koopa (I just threw him in there): 600
Buzzy Beetle (Yeah, him too): 650
Toad used Poison Shroom Toss.
Goomba took light damage and was poisoned.
Goomba: 485

Toadette used Hair Spin.
It didn't faze the Buzzy Beetle at all, but it knocked the Koopa
Koopa: 590

Diddy used his Peanut Popgun.
He shot all 3 foes!
Goomba: 248
Koopa: 495
Buzzy Beetle: 500

Fawful called them names!
Fawful: Fink Rats!
But they all had peanut shells stock in their ears and couldn't hear.
Fawful: ಠ_à²

Enemy Turns!
Goomba used Headbonk!
Toad: 970

Koopa used Dizzy Shell.
Diddy was hit hard and is also insanely confused!
Diddy: 825

Buzzy Beetle meditated…
Toad and Co: Huh?
Buzzy Beetle is evolving!
BB turns red and has a spike.
Buzzy Beetle evolved into Spike Top!
Spike Top: 900


It make dollahs!

Corpie's Friend: You stole my joke!

Battle continues.

Goomba hurt itself due to poison!
Goomba: 199

Hero Turns
Toad used Shroom Shuriken
He tossed 6 Mushrooms with great speed.
3 hit Goomba, 2 hit Koopa, and the last one just barely missed Spike Top.
Goomba: He guarded to protect himself. He took minimal damage.165
Koopa was hit hard and took fatal damage!
He fired a lazar that missed everyone and flew off in the distance.
Koopa: .5

Diddy: Decimal HP?

Random Rockstar Dude: Fractions are all the rage, dude!

A pig falls from the sky and hits RRD.

Toadette used "HAXOR"
Toadette gets a computer and turns the Goomba into a Pirate and Spike Top into a Ninja.
The two haxed enemies start to beat each other up.
Pirate exited battle
Ninja Exited battle.

Diddy used Rock Throw.
Koopa: I fail... I want cake...
Koopa: 0
Battle Pwnage
Toad Level Up: 1,500 HP
Toadette Level Up: 800
Diddy Level Up: He can now use Monkey Flip
Fawful Level Up: He can now summon Awesome Face.

Toad: Awesome face?

Random Youtube joke.

Exit Fight
Toad and friends are then in Sister Village.

Toadette: I heard of this place! It's called sister village because it's the sister town of Toad Town. They're on the exact opposite sides of Plit.

Toad: Oh yeah, we learned about that back in ninth grade.

Toadette: We didn't go to high school.

Toad: Well if we did we would've learned about it.

Diddy: How far away are we from Sarasaland Castle Town?

Toad: Approximately... WAIT! I DON'T HAVE THE MAP!

Toadette: It's... Oh snap, I lost the map, now we have to clap while Cornpie takes us through this monkey rap.

Diddy: I find that offensive.

Toad: We'll just have to ask the locals.

Fawful: Hey, old man, how far away is the castle town?

Old Man: Oh, why it's only down the road from YOUR DEATH!

Fawful: Is that the next town- 0_0

The old man starts to make rocks come from the ground and sends them towards Toad and friends.

Toad: DUCK!

Old Man: Grrrr... RAGH!

The old man turns into Earth Bowser.

Toadette: RUN AWAY!

Fawful summons the awesome face so Toad and friends can ride it full speed away from Earth Bowser. Earth Bowser summons a wave of rocks to ride towards them, and sends earth waves to hurt the face.

Fawful: Guys, keep him away, I have to control this thing, and if it's destroyed now I won't be able to summon him until next chapter and we'll be destroyed now!

Toad: Got it.

Toad jumps up and throws Shroom Shuriken. They hit the earth waves, but Earth Bowser throws a giant rock at Toad. Diddy then uses Monkey Flip to kick the rock away. Toadette uses her head ponytails to fly towards EB. She kicks EB in the face.

EB: Grrrr... You'll pay for that!

He fireballs Toadette.

Toadette: OW! I thought you were Earth Bowser!

EB: Yes, but all Bowser clones can use fire. But It's not as powerful as my earth. Heat Bowser's fire is the most powerful of all of us. Dry Bowser himself is just basic fire.

Toad: Good to know.

Diddy: Totally

Toadette: Thanks for the info, dude.

Fawful: Coolio. Also Castle Town is just five miles up the road. Keep fighting.
Toad jumps up to punch EB and knocks EB off his wave of rocks. But EB just makes another one and destroys the first one. Toad runs as fast as he can to get back on Awesome Face. EB throws another boulder and hits the Awesome Face.

Fawful: ACK! If we're hit five more times we're done for!

Toadette throws Poison Mushrooms at EB, which makes him smaller and purple.

EB: *puke*

Diddy shoots peanuts at the wave but they bounce off and hit Fawful.

Fawful: ... I hate you sooooo much right now.

EB then jumps off and lands on Awesome Face.
Toad: 1,500
Toadette: 800
Diddy: 800
Awesome Face: can take 5 more hits
Earth Bowser: 1,700
Toad used Shroomikens (I combined Shroom and shuriken.)
EB: 1,550

Toadette used Poison Toss
EB: 1,500, poisoned

Diddy used Monkey Flip
EB: 1,290

Enemy Phase
EB used "Earthquake"
Toad: 1,005
Toadette: 710
Diddy: 720
Awesome Face: 4 hits left

Heroes Phase
Toad used 3 Hit Combo
Punch, Punch, Kick
EB: 980

Toadette used Mega Mushroom Stomp
EB: 760
Awesome Face: 3 hits left

Diddy used Monkey Madness
EB: 700

Enemy Phase
EB used Dragon Slash E
He used dragon claws of earth to slash everybody
Toad: 910
Toadette: 620
Diddy: 745

Heroes Phase
Toad used Toadpedo
EB: 640

Toadette used Slappy Fight
EB: 639
Toadette: 619
Awesome Face: 2 hits left

Diddy used Monkey Flip
EB: 567

Enemy Phase
Suicide Bomb
Toad: Huh?!
Toadette: Wah?!
Diddy: DAK!
Fawful: *gulp*
Earth Bowser got surrounded a by brown aura, and then, it completely blew up.
Toad: 1 (out cold)
Toadette: 1 (out cold)
Diddy 1 (out cold)
EB: 1
Awesome Face: 1 hit left and then... poof.

EB: Hmmm... Hehe... Muahahahaha!  I may have practically killed myself, but you're all doomed.

Earth Bowser then charged his claws to give the face one final hit but...

Fawful: I HAVE FURY!

Fawful used Fury Rocket
Hit 9,001 times.
EB: 0. Dead.

Toad's HP was restored.
Toadette's HP was restored.
Diddy's HP was restored.
Battle 0v3r. I'm so 1337.
Bob: No you're not. *shot*

Fawful: Now all we gots to dooz iz ridez thiz wild ride all the wayz to Sarsalandia, Man.

Toadette: You're not cool.

Fawful: ...

Diddy: I wouldn't use too many periods.

Fawful: Why not…?

Toad: Seriously, stop!

Fawful: Make me...!

You: STOP!

Fawful: NEVAH... !

Fawful's completely unnecessary use of periods causes a rip in the time-space continuum, and then... every single period that was used in this chapter so far merges together and... eats a banana!


Ummm... The period monster is a girl.

Existence: 0_0

Period Monster: Oh no you didn't call me a boy! *slaps awesome face*


Toad and friends land in the middle of an empty parking lot near Sarasaland castle. The explosion was actually convenient.

Toad: YAY!

Cars come and drive through the parking lot and kill of 4 of them.

Game Over

Luckily that happened in the exact opposite parking lot to 4 tourists who like to cosplay a lot. They are also bank robbers.

Diddy: Wouldn't it have been logical to end the chapter once AF exploded?

There were 2 long fights, so this would've been boring if I ended it there.

Diddy: Ah.

So they walked over to the castle.

Guard: I'm sorry, but you can't go in.

Toadette: Why not? We're good friends of the prince and princess.

Guard: Too bad, you still can't go in. Unless you make me laugh at a joke.

Fawful: Ok.

A pig falls from the sky on top of Fawful.

Guard: Running gags don't count.

Fawful: Crud... Ummm...  Knock knock.

Guard: Who's there?

Fawful: Bob.

Guard: Bob who?

Fawful: Bob you!

Guard: Lame.

Toadette: What did the Lion say to his best friend?

Guard: What?

Toadette: He was his MANE man!

Guard: Not funny.

Diddy: Knock Knock!

Guard: Who's Thar!

Diddy: Nobody!

Guard: ... You fail!

Toad: Knock Knock

Guard: Who's there?

Toad: Interrupting cow.

Guard: Interrupting cow wh-

Toad: MOO!

Guard: Not funny.

Toad: Knock Knock.

Guard: Who’s there?

Toad: Interrupting sheep.

Guard: Interrupting sheep w-

Toad: BAH! Knock Knock.

Guard: Who's there?

Toad: Interrupting Falcon.

Guard (reluctantly): Interrupting Falcon-

Toad: PUNCH!

The guard goes flying 8,999.99999 miles away.

Toad: Let’s go in.

They go through a perilously long journey through the castle.

In the kitchen…

Toadette: Diddy, stop eating the fruit from the bowl!


In the basement…

Fawful: DARK!

In the attic…

Fawful: DARK!

In the closet…

Fawful: DARK!

Toad: Why are we even in here?!

Fawful: So we can sell their stuff on eBay!

In the empty bathroom…


In the fancily decorated bedroom…

Diddy: Cozy bed.

Toad: That's a bed of flowers. And you're destroying it.

In the torture chamber…

... Toad and friends aren't THAT dumb.

Finally, in the throne room…

Toad: Here's the door. The castle seems much bigger than it did last time.

Toad goes to the door , and opens it, but... A sign is there that says "Prince Luigi and Princess Daisy will be on vacation in Ojo Oasis from July 1st-August 31st. Please stop at the gift shop on you're way out.

Fawful: Ooh... I'm gonna get a mug with my name on it. *dash* Let’s see...Fawfill, Fawfuj, Fawfuul, aaahhhh...*walks back* All right, let’s go.


Toadette: Great... That was a massive waste of time.

Fawful: At least the first Bowser clone is dead.
????? ??????: Not exactly..

Toad: *gasp*

EB is there.

EB: I'm not dead yet!

Toad punches him.


Diddy: What was that?!

Toad: Well, that way he's dead.
Aaah, so it seems that our heroes have not found Luigi and Daisy, and they just went through a massive detour. At least however they managed to narrowly defeat the evil Earth Dry Bowser clone. Only 7 clones left, and then Dry Bowser himself. Will our heroes get to Ojo Oasis and get together with all of their friends and prevail against Dry Bowser to rescue Peach, or will they lose? I don't really care, I get paid either way. But anyway, join us for the next exciting episode of Smashtasm!
I mean Toad Battles Bowser 2!

To Be Continued...

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