Chapter 13: United
The airship had docked, and Iggy, who is quite obviously at this point the author’s favorite Koopaling, was plotting an escape. It was downright valiant. In fact, it was so bold to a point where it was ridiculous. He then promptly dashed out of his airship cabin, screaming like a girl. Roydwig’s alternative was punching the wall of his cabin and going into his room, which is actually Roy and Ludwig’s rooms except the wall was torn down between them. Ironically, Lemmy’s room was between them. Bowser was busy picking up the knocked out bodies of all of the Koopalings.
Once Iggy had valiantly escaped his brothers’ airship, he went for the dungeon. Luigi was there, Mario must have been on his way, and hopefully there would be some other competent guy in there.
Meanwhile, Toad and the ridiculously random Shy Guy were standing in their cell with a few prisoners, 98 other Shy Guys, and a pickle. Before Toad could groan, the Shy Guys tackled the iron bars of the cell, and somehow managed to bend them. Toad pinched himself. Meanwhile, the orange Shy Guy grasped the pickle off of the ground and smiled at what was apparently his new weapon.
Toad, Iggy, and that Orange Shy Guy who really needs a name dashed through. Without much time elapsed, Iggy and Toad bumped into each other. The Shy Guy managed to trip over the pickle he was holding. Iggy spoke first.
“Argh, get back to your p- Oh, hi, Toad. I’m kind of busy at the moment, so get out of my way.”
Toad frowned, and replied, “Fine. Just tell me the way out of your castle, I want to get out of here so I can get my revenge on Peach.”
This time, Iggy frowned. “How many times have you tried to get revenge on Peach in the past three months, again?” he asked. Toad shrugged. Iggy continued. “If you want to escape, you have to help me get rid of my insane brother hybrid. It’s the one that got you in here, if you couldn’t tell.
Toad didn’t want to explain, so he just signaled that he wanted to walk on. Within a minute, they saw Chet pacing around a knocked out Mario. Chet saw them, and cackled.
“Oh, Iggy, siding with prisoners? Really?” he taunted.
Iggy glared. “I’d rather side with prisoners than an insane, homicidal jerk.”
Chet pondered, then shrugged. “The guy offered me a truckload of cucumbers. They’re vegetables. I’m a duck. Do the math, Iggy. Then again, your brother is better!” he mocked.
Iggy tore forward at Chet, who stepped aside. Toad lobbed his pickaxe at Chet, who lowered the Mushroom’s FP and HP, raising his BP. Unable to perform the act of throwing a pickaxe, the mining tool dropped to the ground and was kicked down the hall by Chet. The battle continued until a green light flew across the room. It hit Chet, who spontaneously turned into a cucumber. Toad and Iggy turned, expecting to see Mario, but it was just the orange Shy Guy, holding his pickle as if it were a revolver.
“How did you…?” asked Iggy.
The Orange Shy Guy rolled his eyes. “You don’t know how to use a pickle cannon?” he asked. Iggy and Toad shook their heads. “Oh, and you guys may want to wake up the plumber on the ground. There was this nasty leak on the way here, and the dungeon should be flooded seven feet if we give it a week.“
Iggy silently thanked him for that, then walked over to Mario. Toad jumped in front of him. “Hey, I came here for revenge on Peach! I don’t like Mario either!” he protested.
Iggy made a concerned face. “Do you know how strong my brother is right now? He could tear through us easily without Mario. Hhe could probably even tear through Mario if he didn’t have us. We have to work together.”
Toad’s mind was aflutter. Peach’s letter. Blaming him for the yacht sinking. Her annoying voice in the Mario Kart games, even though he was being very hypocritical by thinking that. He needed one thing… he couldn’t come up with it. WHAT did he need Peach for?
Then, Iggy spoke. “Toad, she gives you your paycheck…”
Toad nudged Mario, whose eyes slowly opened.
Chapter 14: The Map
Once Mario had been awakened thoroughly , he jumped back. “Chet, I didn’t know you could change form!” he shouted. Toad applied his palm directly to his forehead.
“No, Mario, we’re really Toad, Iggy, and a random Shy Guy no one knows the name of,” he said. The Orange Shy Guy waved, and Mario waved back at the pickle-holding Shy Guy of orangeness.
“Narrator, you sound like Fawful,” complained Iggy.
A brick fell from the ceiling with a sign attached. Toad read it aloud. “Thanks, that’s what I was going for.” He then threw it at a wall, and it spontaneously combusted.
Mario was confused when he saw a cucumber on the ground, and took the map. “Okay, Chet should have a key to this cell, so…” Before he could finish, the Orange Shy Guy hopped onto his head and looked at the map.
“We were already in that cell, and we escaped. Besides, if anyone’s going to escape, we have to kill the big, scary monster in that little room with the skull in it, see? Seriously, play more Zelda games, dude.”
Everyone looked at him strangely, then Mario put the map into… wherever he puts his inventory, and led everyone to Roydwig’s chambers. The castle was empty on the way there.
Chapter 15: It’s just a finale. I can’t make a good pun at the moment, dang it!
Mario walked up to Roydwig’s door. He wound up a punch, but the Shy Guy turned the door into a cucumber first, so Mario ended up falling flat on his face. Toad helped him up, and everyone walked forward. The room had one bed in a corner, and the rest was designed as if it was made for a battlefield. Oh, wait, it had been.
Toad looked around. “Roydwig isn’t here, guys,” he mentioned. The Shy Guy went to check under the bed, but nothing was there. Iggy moved toward the rubble of the walls of Lemmy’s old room, but nothing was hiding there. Toad went to check a window somewhere.
As everyone other than Mario searched, Roydwig tore down the hall leading up to his room and crashed into Mario, who flew out the window Toad was checking.
The Shy Guy shot his pickle cannon at Roydwig’s face. The monster’s shades turned into a cucumber that rolled off of his nose to reveal hideous, bloodshot eyes. He then promptly swiped the cucumber into Toad. It was intercepted by Iggy, who was riding in his shell. He popped out of his shell and ate the nutritious fruit. Or is it a vegetable? I mean, it has seeds, so it has to be a fruit, right? But it’s so bi- Oh, right. Story.
Toad took out his climbing equipment from way before, and grappled onto a chandelier. He flew into Roydwig with his pickax, and actually got in a hit. However, it was on Roydwig’s spiked back, and Toad’s foot was in quite a bit of pain, I assure you. Unable to stand on his foot any longer for the remainder of the fight, he climbed up to the chandelier, waiting to strike.
Mario had successfully grasped a window one level below Roydwig’s room. He climbed up into what was apparently the barracks, where many Koopatrols were asleep. He tiptoed about. However, it would be a long trek. He’d dealt with enough sleeping Piranha Plants in the past, though. He’d be fine.
Meanwhile, Roydwig was sweeping about the room in his shell. Iggy was doing the same, but with the Shy Guy on top, shooting his pickle cannon. He’d had no luck so far. Toad took a light bulb from the Chandelier and tossed it onto the ground in front of Roydwig. Instead of flying into the air, Roydwig just tore into the measly light bulb, smashing it. Iggy slid into the mess that was made and flew into the air instead. The Shy Guy on his back pushed off, sending himself into the air and Iggy into the floor. He grasped the chandelier, then got helped up by Toad. Now Roydwig frantically moved around the room as the Shy Guy shot at him from the chandelier. Toad was throwing light bulbs into a pile in hopes that he’d get results on Roydwig.
Iggy was in the most heated position. Roydwig was like he was in a pinball game, and Iggy could easily get smashed against a wall. He hopped mid-slide onto Roydwig’s bed, which was surprisingly bouncy, and flew into the air, where the Orange Shy Guy grasped Iggy’s hand and pulled him onto the chandelier. With the combined weight, they fell onto the ground, and Roydwig hit them, flying onto his back. The Shy Guy’s pickle cannon was knocked out of his hand and under the bed, too. Toad and Iggy went over to Roydwig. Toad attacked Roydwig’s face with his pickaxe, and Iggy constantly ground pounded his stomach to keep him from getting up in time.
Meanwhile, the crash of the chandelier had woken a Koopatrol in the barracks. He shouted, and all the Koopatrols woke. Bars covered all of the exits of the room when one Koopatrol pulled a switch on the wall next to his hammock. Mario looked for his Quake Hammer but it had been stolen by Chet Rippo, so he hopped onto a bed. He used his great jump to get onto- you guessed it- a chandelier. He began to ground pound until the fancy light crashed onto the ground with similar force to a Quake Hammer. The plumber bounced on as many stomachs as he could to make the number manageable. In the end, twenty of the fifty Koopatrols were left, and he started to blindly spin with his hammer.
One floor above, the Orange Shy Guy dove under Roydwig’s bed to snatch his pickle, when Roydwig began to spin on his back. He slammed into the bed, though the mattress was so soft it bounced him into the wall. Toad and Iggy flew off of his back, to see Roydwig hit the chandelier and flip over again. The Orange Shy Guy was still under the bed. In fact, he had fallen into an apparently opened vent on the ground with his pickle cannon.
He fell into the barracks. Apparently Roydwig had placed his bed over the vent to keep the soldiers from getting air conditioning. The Shy Guy winced at this dastardly plan, then fired another beam out of the pickle. A random soldier attacking Mario became a cucumber, and all of the Koopatrols backed away from the healthy item, terrified. They all went to their beds to grab snack foods, then backed into a corner. Mario stopped spinning, then looked at the scene. The Orange Shy Guy flipped the switch to open the door and windows. The fiery-colored duo scrambled out of the room toward the nearest staircase.
Iggy and Toad weren’t dealing with someone afraid of healthy foods, or else Roydwig would have been hiding from Toad, trembling. Iggy took a light bulb from the chandelier and threw it under the bed to make the Shy Guy hurry up. He heard a clank as if it was falling down the vent system, then winced. Meanwhile, Toad was hacking at a wall in attempt to find an escape. Iggy slid his shell toward the Mushroom to keep him from getting smashed by Roydwig, who was just moving around randomly at that point.
Finally, the Shy Guy and Mario came up. Once Roydwig saw them through his shell, he darted toward them, then swerved when the Orange Shy Guy shot his pickle cannon. The Shy Guy told Mario to jump, then hopped onto his head. The random hooded kid shot continuous lasers out of the pickle cannon, and Mario’s jump made them unpredictable. He began to add some length to his jumps in addition to the height. Toad took out his pickaxe and told Iggy to crash into Roydwig, and they did. He continuously smacked Roydwig with his pickaxe, constantly knocked him back, until Roydwig was finally turned into a cucumber.
Chapter 16: The end. Now go do something else.
Iggy grasped his cucumber-fied brothers, then frowned. He closed his eyes. “We’re going to the lab, everyone,” he said.
Everyone followed. On the way they found Bowser, who had returned everyone that was knocked out to their rooms. By looking into Iggy’s eyes, he knew the whole story and followed as well. Finally, they reached the lab. Iggy opened the center pod in the lab and inserted the cucumber he held. He shut the pod and pressed a button, and everything glowed. The outer pods opened, and Roy and Ludwig came out, perfectly fine.
“Dad?” Ludwig and Roy asked in sync. “We’re sorry.” Bowser shook his head.
“I forgive you, Roy. As for YOU, Ludwig, you know what happens when your inventions nearly end up killing the Koopa Troop?”
Ludwig sighed. “Dungeon. Thanks, Dad.” he said, heading down some stairs.
Seconds later, a Koopatrol with a gas mask entered the lab holding a cucumber with a long pair of pliers and a cucumber. “I think Chet Rippo got turned into a cucumber. Ironic, because he wanted a truckload of cucumbers from us,.” he said.
Mario jerked up. “Right! I forgot about my one condition with Chet Rippo!” he shouted. Even the Orange Shy Guy was confused. Mario took a case of vinegar out of his pocket, then poured it on Chet, who turned into a pickle. Mario smirked. “He said that someone was giving him a bunch of cucumbers, and he wanted some vinegar.” Everyone, even Bowser, laughed.
Ludwig returned to his father. “All the jail cells are either broken or filled Oh, and there’s half a foot of water down there,” he said.
Bowser sighed. “Mario, if you fix the plumbing, I guess I’ll let your friends go, since I’m feeling nice today.
And so Mario went to fix the plumbing, and the Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom were at peace. Until a week later when Peach said she wanted Bowser to give her some chicken, and a war broke out, but that’s another story that I’m way too lazy to write about.
The End
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