Bowser’s 50 Challenges

By Braneinajar

One day in Bowser’s study, Bowser was contemplating his latest defeat.  Of course, he didn’t consider it his defeat.  In his mind it was all the fault of his loser kids.  So he was trying to think of a way to, perhaps, toughen ‘em up a bit.  15 Ibuprofen tablets later, he had a “fantastic” (self description) idea. He would give them 50 challenges, of his own “brilliant” (self description) design.  But then, he thought, how to get them to do it?

“Of course!” he cried. Negative reinforcement... That was always fun.  “No food until it’s complete!”  But then he decided to give the winner of the most challenges something for his (or her, he added mentally) hard work.

A plaque, perhaps.  He busily started writing down ideas for challenges, chuckling devilishly. . .


Iggy, Larry, Ludwig, Lemmy, Morton, Roy, and Wendy were gathered at the meeting room at Bowser’s castle, eagerly (or not) waiting to hear the news.

Morton: So what’s the news I hope it’s good because we haven’t had breakfast yet and I am hungry and-

Roy: Just shut up, Morton. None of us are in the mood.

Morton: Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you with my talking it’s just that I am so exited and since I haven’t had breakfast yet my blood sugar is low so I am really hyper-

Roy: Morton, sock it before I sock you.

Morton: *gulp*

Lemmy: I sort of agree with Morton. This should be some really interesting news, seeing as we have been called in here before breakfast.

Wendy: I hope this goes quick, I haven’t had time to put any makeup on yet!

Ludwig: Yes, this better go quickly, I have to finish my new Destroy the Mario Brothers invention!

Morton: Yes, Bowser should get here quickly, fast, soon, posthaste-

Bowser enters and all gets quiet except for Morton, who just keeps talking, just in a lower voice.

Bowser: All right, so, as you know, we have recently been defeated by the Mario Bros. again.  And, as you know, it was all your guys’ fault.

Morton: Hey-

Bowser: Anyway, I have devised a system to get you guys in supreme Mario Bros-beating shape.  Every day I will give you a challenge. You must then complete the challenge to be given privileges to eat.

Morton: You mean until we complete the challenge we cannot eat, consume-

Bowser: That’s right. I will give a challenge every day for 50 days, for a total of-

Ludwig: 50 Challenges

Bowser: That’s right. Now, the challenges are set up so ONE person can have a go at a time. The person who is the winner of the challenge gets a commemorative medal. The winner of the most medals will win a special plaque (2 dollars at Cheap Central). Now, the first challenge will be an easy one, a short race with Koopa the Quick, one of my fastest henchmen. He is waiting out back. I shall be watching from my balcony. Now, if you want to eat, GO!!!

The Koopalings dash out back to meet with Koopa the Quick (KTQ).

KTQ: Hello Koopalings. As you can clearly see, I have set up a short, easy racetrack for you to race me on. Now, which one of you will race first?

Lemmy rolls forward on his ball.

Lemmy: I will race first.

KTQ: Alrighty then, let’s go, on three. Koopalings?

Wendy: 1

Morton: 2! Which is the number after 1 and before-

Iggy: 3!

The race begins, KTQ running as fast as he can and Lemmy rolling on his ball. I will save you the details, and just tell you about the end. Lemmy is nearing the last turn when the unthinkable happens. He falls off his ball. Now, it’s not like he just fell. As he was rolling across the last turn, a camouflaged Chain Chomp came out and knocked him over. KTQ runs past him and crosses the finish line, much to the dismay of the onlookers, except for Bowser, who is having a good hearty laugh, as if it is all a show for his personal amusement.

Iggy: Hey! Isn’t that cheating?

KTQ: No, I said that I set up a racetrack, but I never said I didn’t set up traps!

Roy: Ok then, well I say we see if Morton can run as fast as he can talk.

KTQ: Ok then, ready Morton?

Morton: I am ready, set-

KTQ: Okay! Start us off!

Iggy: 1

Roy: 3!

The race starts (?) and… Morton takes the lead? Lame memo, not using it. KTQ easily takes the lead as Morton slowly trudges along, spouting nonsense.

Morton: Ha! I have taken the lead and am beating you by going really fast see how I took the bend! HA! I am going to get the medal and the plaque and breakfast because I am beating you see I even dodged the Chain Chomp so I am obviously going to-

Then KTQ crosses the finish line.

Morton: Lose? Huh?

Same reactions occur.

Ludwig: I am back! What did I miss?

The others realize Ludwig hasn’t been around since the start.

Iggy: Lemmy and Morton both lost.

Larry: And I am hungry!

Ludwig: Not to worry! I will now race!

Groans are heard. Nobody notices Ludwig is wearing different shoes than earlier.

KTQ: Let’s race on my mark. 1, 2, 3, Go!

As KTQ starts, wheels pop out of Ludwig’s shoes and rockets come out of the back!  Ludwig easily passes KTQ, and, without even knowing that the Chain Chomp is there, dodges it using pure speed.

Cheers erupt as he passes over the finish line, just in time for a late brunch!

KTQ: Congratulations! You have won the challenge and have earned this medal!

The group leaves and challenge 1 is complete.

Iggy 0
Larry 0
Lemmy 0
Ludwig 1
Morton 0
Roy 0
Wendy 0

Challenges Complete: 1/50

To Be Continued...

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