I Hate Mario

By Waffle

“Oh no, Oh no Oh NO!!!” Mario thought. He had just lost Luigiss surfboard, the same surfboard he had since he was 13. It was his most prized possession. Luigi would definitely remember this.
 
“How did I lose it?” Mario thought. He searched the beach for hours but no luck! It was obviously stolen. But by who?
 
“Bowser?” He was the only thief in the Mushroom Kingdom that he could think of! But Bowser wouldn’t want that surfboard, he was too fat! Mario chuckled at his joke but decided to refocus on his problem. Mario knew very well that “it was stolen” wouldn’t be a good enough excuse for Luigi…
 
“H-hey Luigi. I’m b-a-ack!” Mario said when he finally got back to Luigi’s room.
 
 “Mario! That was a LONG day of surfing.” Luigi said with a cheerful voice. His grin then faded when he saw Mario without a board.
 
“Where is my board?” Luigi said with an angry glare in his eyes.
 
“Are you gaining wait?” Mario said, getting off topic. “You know that will not turn Daisy on, Luigi! You’ve got to get a die,t fast!”
 
“This coming from YOU? The most famous virtual fat man in the world!”
 
“Well...” Mario would have liked to get rid of some virtual pounds.
 
“Mario. WHERE. IS. MY. BOARD?!?
 
“G-gone...” Mario looked down as he didn’t want to see Luigi’s face.
 
“Gone?!?
 
“Somebody stole it! I am so sorry!”
 
“You know what?! I do NOT want to hear your pathetic excuses. You promised to bring it back! Get! Get out of here!”
 
“It wasn’t my fault!” said Mario.

“Leave! How are you supposed to be a hero when you can’t even tell the truth when you wipeout?”
 
Mario just put his head down and left Luigi’s place. He had never yelled at him like that before… This day of peace wasn’t going very well for Mario.
 
“I can’t believe it. First Peach, and now Luigi!” Mario said as he talked to the closest people he now had as friends- Daisy and Toad- as they walked through the forest.
 
“Well I am glad you got rid of Luigi’s board!” said Daisy. “He was spending WAY too much time with it.”
 
“Don’t worry, Mario, you are just having a bad day! You now how forgiving Peach and Luigi are!”
 
Mario smiled. Maybe he had overreacted on how this day has been.  “You know what? You guys are the best!” Mario said.
 
“We know!” Daisy and Toad said.
 
Bowser and Bowser Jr. were eavesdropping on their conversation in the bushes. Bowser explained to his favorite son his plan on how to get even Toad and Daisy to hate Mario. “Well, what do you think?” Bowser said, satisfied with his plan.
 
“It is pure genius!”
 
“Ok, we’ll start at 9:00 PM. Mushroom Standard Time Zone, of course.”
 
“Ok! Put out the time card!” Bowser Jr. said excitedly
 
9:00 PM Mushroom Standard Time Zone
 
Bowser and Bowser Jr. ran as fast they could to a public restroom in the Mushroom Kingdom that was closest to Daisy’s house. She didn’t have one inside her house because this one was so close to her and this way she didn’t have to pay for indoor plumbing! Daisy went into the restroom while Bowser Jr. was listening.
 
“Status report, Son?” Bowser asked impatiently.
 
“The shower is running, sir!”
 
“Perfect!” Bowser smiled. “All right, now you switch the bathroom signs! And when she is about to come out give me the signal!”  He then spotted Mario walking along, depressed. Bowser then went up to him to “cheer him up”.
 
“Mario! Buddy! Did my surfing suggestion make you feel any better?”

Mario just shook his head. “No... It just made things worse!”
 
“Oh my! Can you explain to me why? I don’t see any harm in surfing!”
 
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Mario said.
 
“I understand. Hey! I know what will make you feel better!”
 
“What?” Mario said, confused. He didn’t know anything that could possibly make him feel better.
 
“Some lemonade!” Bowser then out of nowhere got a cup of lemonade for Mario to drink.
 
Mario just sighed. It couldn’t hurt… He drank the whole cup. “Hmm...” he said. “Made me feel a little better....”
 
“Well how about you feel a little more better?” Bowser said as he gave Mario another drink.
 
“Thanks.” Mario then slowly drank the lemonade.
 
“Oh for the love of lizards, can you drink any faster?!” Bowser then poured 10 cups of lemonade down Mario’s throat. Then Bowser looked up and saw Bowser Jr. was giving him the signal that the water was off and Daisy was finished with her shower.
 
“So Mario… Do you have to use the bathroom now?”

“Nope.”
 
“Oh well. You’re going to, so go! NOW!!!”
 
“Ok ok!” Mario then walked toward the bathrooms.
 
“NO!!! Run!!!” Mario then ran. “FASTER!!!” Bowser demanded. “FASTER! FASTER!!!” Mario then ran into the “guys” bathroom.
 
When Mario finally got there he was panting hard and looking at the ground..
 
“Pervert!” Daisy yelled. Mario looked up and saw Daisy wrapped in a towel.
 
“What? OH Daisy! This is a mistake! I am sorry!”
 
Daisy then cried and ran out of the bathroom.
 
“Hey Daisy, have you seen Mario?” a voice said. Daisy looked up and saw Luigi was only a few feet away from her.
 
“Oh, you mean Pervio?”

“What?” Luigi said, confused.
 
“That freak just came in the girl’s bathroom to see me in my towel.”

“What?!” Luigi said angry. “And to think I came here to give him another chance! Come on, Daisy, let’s go!”
 
Bowser and Bowser Jr. admired the scene from afar.
 
“When are we going to stop doing this? I do not see how this is going to get rid of Mario…” Bowser J.R. asked.
 
Bowser then had a disgusting grin on his face. “Trust me, Bowser Jr, tomorrow morning there will be the final and ultimate trick!...”
 
That morning Peach found a cake with a message in it on her mattress. Peach then grabbed the cake and read the message. It was from Mario! The message read “Dear Peach I am so sorry for what happened yesterday. I love you and I will do anything to have you back. So I bought you this cake and I didn’t eat one bite! Love Mario”.

Peach then yelled from anger. “What? What is it, darling?” King Toadstool came and asked.
 
“Mario thinks he can win my love with some stupid cake!” Peach then put the cake on a table and left.
 
“She isn’t eating the cake!” Bowser Jr. said, spying with his binoculars.
 
“Oh no! Now the whole plan is ruined!”
 
“Oh wait, wait a sec!” Bowser Jr. said.  “Now The King is eating the cake!”
 
“The King? The King! Oh, this is working out better then I thought!” Bowser said with a cheer.
 
“Wow Dad, what is in that cake?” Bowser Jr. asked.
 
“You’ll see.”
 
Mario was arrested and sent to the Mushroom Kingdom.
 
“You!!!” Peach yelled.
 
“What?” Mario said.

“You killed my father!!!” Peach was crying so hard.
 
“What are you talking about?” Mario was so confused.
 
“The cake you gave to Peach had poison in it!” Luigi said. “Peach didn’t have it. King Toadstool did and now he is dead!”
 
“I didn’t do that! I was framed, I swear!”
 
“Then you wouldn’t mind taking the fingerprint test?!” Luigi said with a glare.
 
“Of course not!” Mario said. He could prove he was innocent now! Mario did the test and five minutes later they got the results.
 
“Well?” Mario said.
 
“It was you, Mario!”
 
“WHAT?!”
 
“Hey Dad, how did you get Mario’s fingerprints?” Bowser Jr. asked as he and his dad were spying.
 
“A glove inside out!”
 
“Genius!”
 
“Let’s kill him too!” said Luigi.
 
“He deserves a slow and painful death!” said Daisy.
 
“Wait! The princess should decide,” Toad said.
 
Princess Peach was crying so hard it was hard for her to talk. “We shouldn’t kill him, that would make us no better then him! M-Mario, I don’t know why you did this, but... YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM! YOU WILL NEVER COME BACK! WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE! WE WILL NEVER WANT YOU HERE!!! GO AWAY!!! YOU’RE BANNED!!!”
 
Mario couldn’t believe it...

To Be Continued...

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