(~Read Finally Fantastic first, this’ll make more sense.)
500 Years in the Future, a much older Petey is flying through the sky. He’s had enough time to master it so now he can soar instead of merely flap along. With him are two smaller Peteys. The three land on a cliff.
Petey: There it is. Petey III and Superfly, my sons, this is a giant rock.
Petey III/Superfly: Ooh.
Petey: And past that is some place me and my old friends saved.
Petey III/Superfly: Aah.
498 Years Earlier…
Koopa Troopa: Pull my finger.
Another Koopa: No.
Meanwhile, Croco and Mimi of the Yoshis are inside the North Pole Hole.
Mimi: That’s weird.
Croco: It’s gross!
Meanwhile, Boshi is flying a helicopter around the North Pole Hole and singing along to his radio. There’s another radio for transmissions.
Boshi: Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Banana phone. Ring-
Croco’s voice: Boshi, stop singing! We got it! We got the thing we came for!
Boshi: Yay.
BANG!
Boshi: What was that?
Croco’s voice: Ow! We’re being attacked!
Boshi: By what?
Mimi’s voice: Get in here and find out- Ow!
Boshi: Uhh, what’s that, Dr. Topper? You say you left something in town? Well, sorry guys, but you know how Topper is-
Dr. Topper: Don’t use me as an excuse!
Croco’s voice: Aha! Now stop messing around and get in here!
Boshi: Uhhh, we’re breaking up, bye!
He throws the radio out the window and flies away.
Now there are words floating in space like in Star Wars.
Walaine’s voice: I’m being paid to explain things to you, so shut up and listen! The River Twygx gives life to Plit, and a company called Koopa took the energy and turned it into Garlic, which wasn’t good for the environment. Koopa got an army of Koopatrols to beat up any resistance. The Koopatrols had the Essence of the Shadow Queen in them. She was an ancient demon that crashed into Plit and made a crater we call the North Pole Hole. One of the Koopatrols was a guy named Dimentio. Naturally he was the best, so it was only obvious something would happen and he’d snap and start to become a psycho.
Glugluglug.
Walaine’s voice: That’s better. Anyway, he wanted to destroy Plit and become like DAD, and he even killed this girl I met in order to do it. But then when the day finally came, my dad and his friends and their leader killed him and saved the world, but it was too late. So the River Twygx had to help out and we all survived. I think that’s it. Where’s my money?!
In the new town of Rogueport, which doesn’t have a port, Walaine is by a bed with a Toad kid in it.
Walaine: The script says you have Garlic Fever.
Gaz: Am I going to die?
Walaine voiceover: Oh yeah, and some people caught Garlic Fever because they got it from the Shadow Queen and she was in the energy waves saving the world, so that was kind of a side effect. And now for the movie-story…
Daisy and Gaz are in Daisy’s new bar.
Daisy/Gaz: Bored.
Daisy’s phone rings.
Daisy: Oh!
She answers it. Meanwhile, Luigi’s out in the middle of nowhere listening to his voice mail.
Voicemail: I kidnapped your grandpa, Luigi. And then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself.
Luigi: Oh, go dye your hair green, why don’t you?
Luigi opens another voicemail.
Voicemail: Hi Luigi! It’s me, Daisy. Boshi tried to call you for some reason. I think he wants you to… plumb… or something for him.
Luigi: Dang it! I hate working!
Luigi hangs up.
Phone: You have no more voicemail.
Luigi: Thanks. I was wondering what it meant when I listened to them all.
Phone: Well you don’t have to be so arrogant about it. How about I delete all your contacts and give you zero bars EVERYWHERE?
Luigi: You wouldn’t…
Phone: Try me.
Luigi: Okay, fine.
Phone: … All right, fine, I can’t.
Luigi: See? That’s why YOU’RE the phone and I’M the consumer.
Luigi puts on sunglasses.
Luigi: Now I’m pimpin’!
He picks up his hammer and puts it in his pocket. He then hops onto a green Mach Bike and starts driving away.
Luigi/Phone: Whee!
Meanwhile on a cliff are three people: Shadoo (in Mr. L shape), Shadow Mario, and Dry Bowser.
Shadow Mario: Look! It’s that guy that beat up our queen!
Shadoo: Gee, thanks for clearing that up.
Dry Bowser: ENOUGH WITH THE SARCASM! LET’S GO GET HIM!
Shadoo/Shadow Mario: Right.
Shadow Mario hops onto a black Mach Bike while Dry Bowser gets on a Flame Runner and they start chasing after Luigi.
Luigi: Huh? Waaah! Creepy guys!
Shadow Mario: Well you’re not so pleasant yourself!
Dry Bowser: ROAD RAGE!
Dry Bowser starts throwing bones at Luigi.
Luigi: Waaah!
He starts dodging.
Luigi: Ha!
He’s hit. The bone knocks his sunglasses off.
Luigi: Gaah!
Luigi pulls out a Green Shell, and throws it behind him but it hits Shadow Mario.
Phone: You missed the Dry Bones!
Luigi: I can see that!
Shadow Mario: Hey, I didn’t do anything to you… yet.
He pulls out a paintbrush and rides up next to Luigi. Luigi pulls out a hammer and they start fighting. Someone is approaching from the opposite direction on a Bullet Bike.
Koopa Troopa: AAAAHHHHH!!!
Luigi/Shadow Mario: AAAAHHHHH!!!
The three crash, leaving Dry Bowser.
Dry Bowser: BWAHAHA!
Luigi zips past, followed by Shadow Mario.
Shadow Mario: Tell us where our queen went!
Luigi: Do I LOOK like a lost and found to you?!
Dry Bowser: TELL US!
Luigi: Yikes!
Meanwhile Shadoo is on a phone.
Shadoo: Shut up, Boshi! Give me the president. Huh? How am I calling you from out here? Oh, I’ve got the network with me.
There are many people behind Shadoo.
One Guy: You’re good.
Shadoo gives him the thumbs up and then holds his hand over the phone.
Shadoo: GUYS! STOP CHASING HIM!
Shadow Mario/Dry Bowser: Awww.
They pull back and let Luigi get away. He heads to Goomba Village and checks his voicemail again. It’s from Daisy and Wario.
Voicemail: It’s me, Wario! Wahaha! … That’s about it. I actually forgot what I was going to say. *someone else is talking( It’s me again. Daisy. Boshi called again and said to hurry to the inn at Goomba Village!
Luigi hangs up.
Phone: No new messages.
Luigi: You said that already!
Phone: I’m sorry, master. It’s my job.
Luigi parks the Mach Bike outside the Toad House Inn at Goomba Village. He opens the door and Boshi runs out, trampling Luigi.
Luigi: Ow.
Luigi gets back up and walks in, locking the door. Boshi runs back… right into the door. He even leaves a Boshi-shaped dent.
Luigi: Ooh, that’s got to hurt.
Boshi’s voice: Ow…
Dr. Topper walks into the room.
Dr. Topper: That’d actually be funny if that weren’t the 8th time that happened… this week. Oh wait-
Dr. Topper wheels someone in on a wheelchair. It’s Bowser Jr.! Only his bandana is covering his mouth now and his shell is missing as it was destroyed when he hid in it when his office blew up, but now his body is surrounded by a blanket, except for his legs.
Luigi: Who are you, Mister?
Bowser Jr.: … You really don’t know? It’s me! Bowser Jr.!
Luigi: Oh… Woah! You’re still alive?!
Bowser Jr.: What are you talking about?! You’ve known that for the past two years!
Luigi: Oh yeah…
Bowser Jr.: You see, it all started when-
Luigi: Do you know something about three creepy guys with motorcycles? Are they some kinda biker cult perhaps?
Bowser Jr.: Wait, don’t you even care how I survived?
Luigi: Emergency office-located warp pipe.
Bowser Jr.: Dang it! So anyway, since Koopa messed up Plit, I was told I’d be arrested if I didn’t help fix it.
Luigi: Nah, I don’t care to help you.
Boshi’s voice: Can I come back in now?
Luigi: Shut up, Boshi, Mommy and Daddy are talking.
Bowser Jr.: So anyway, we started investigating Dimentio for no reason in the North Pole Hole. But then two of my Yoshis were attacked by those three guys you met. Their leader was Shadoo, one of the secret bosses from Super Paper Mario.
Luigi: I see… So why do you want me here?
Bowser Jr.: We need you to go beat them up for us.
Luigi: You’re going to have me act like some kind of thug just because he beat up your employees? … Sorry, but I’m a plumber now, not a hero; a plumber, and on weekends, record holder for most hot dogs devoured.
Bowser Jr.: Please?
Luigi: No. Do it yourself.
Meanwhile Daisy and Walaine enter a church.
Walaine: So does Luigi live in here?
Daisy: I guess so.
Walaine: Wait, he’s your best friend and you don’t even know for sure?!
Daisy: I’m not that observant, okay?!
Daisy and Walaine notice something on the nightstand next to Luigi’s bed.
Daisy: I didn’t know Luigi had a subscription to Sports Illustrated. Woah!
There’s a bandage just like Gaz’s next to the glass of water next to the magazine.
Walaine: Does he have Garlic Fever too?
Daisy: I don’t know.
Meanwhile back in the Toad House Inn, Boshi and Dr. Topper are KO’d and Shadoo is talking to Bowser Jr.
Shadoo: So where is it again?
Bowser Jr.: Oh. we dropped it out of the helicopter when we ran away.
Shadoo: … That’s it?
Bowser Jr.: Yeah!
Shadoo: Well you might be interested in… THESE!
He pulls out two tickets to a Kiss concert.
Bowser Jr.: … I… guess… What is this, a bribe?
Shadoo: Huh? Oh, wrong things. That was for me and this girl I’m dating.
He puts them back in his pocket and pulls out Croco and Mimi’s ID cards, which have red stuff on them.
Bowser Jr.: Is that blood?!
Shadoo: Actually no. See, on the way here me and the guys stopped at Wendy’s and we kinda got careless with the ketchup… This guy came and started telling jokes about the ketchup… You had to be there. Anyway, we brutalized those two.
Bowser Jr.: So what’s this all about?
Shadoo: Another reunion! But we can’t find the queen.
Bowser Jr.: Am I invited?
Shadoo: Do you have Garlic Fever?
Bowser Jr.: Yes.
Shadoo: Then yes. That’s how you can tell! We’re trying to find the queen.
Bowser Jr.: Who ARE you guys anyway?
Shadoo: Oh, we’re just what’s left of Dimentio after he died.
Bowser Jr.: But one of you looks so much like my dad but as a skeleton.
Shadoo: So?
Bowser Jr.: Just saying. So how exactly is a dark Mr. L, a shadowy version of Mario, and a skeletal form of my dad all that’s left of Dimentio?
Shadoo: Well not by appearance, but I have Dimentio’s mind, Shadow Mario has his leet hackzor skills and other things, and Dry Bowser has Dimentio’s raw power.
Bowser Jr.: Uh-huh…
Meanwhile, Luigi is at the outskirts of the ruins of Koopa City.
Luigi: So after Mario died I decided to live out both our lives.
Phone: That’s lame.
Luigi: I didn’t ask you!
Phone: Then you were talking to yourself, which would make you crazy.
Luigi: … Okay, fine, I did ask you.
Phone: That’s lame.
Luigi: I di… D’oh! … Wah!
Luigi falls over, suffering from Garlic Fever, and images of Dimentio flash through his mind.
Luigi: Aaah! He’s so much uglier as the movie version of himself!
Meanwhile, Daisy and Walaine are still in the church. Dry Bowser barges in.
Dry Bowser: KNOCK-KNOCK!
Walaine: Who’s there?
Daisy: Walaine, go hide behind something.
Walaine: Okay.
She does.
Dry Bowser: WHERE’S THE QUEEN?!
Daisy: Stop speaking in all caps.
Dry Bowser: NEVER! WHERE IS SHE?!
Daisy: I don’t know. Not here though.
Dry Bowser: YOUR GAME SHALL END FOR WASTING MY TIME!
Dry Bowser retracts into his shell and starts chasing Daisy around.
Daisy: Oh boy… Wait!
She finds an old floorboard sticking up. She quickly removes it and plants it on the ground in front of the approaching shell. For some reason it doesn’t break. She quickly finds more and plants them all around Dry Bowser.
Dry Bowser: IN CASE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE, I’M NOT VENOM!
Dry Bowser punches through half of them, freeing himself. He tries to headbutt Daisy but she steps aside, grabs his neck, and flips him over.
Dry Bowser: OWIE!
Dry Bowser is defeated! Daisy leveled up!
Daisy: Ooookaaay…
Dry Bowser answers his phone as Walaine walks toward Daisy.
Dry Bowser: SHE SAYS SHE’S NOT HERE. … YEAH, SHE BEAT ME… SHUT UP! ALL RIGHT, BYE… NO, YOU HANG UP FIRST… NO, YOU HANG UP FIRST… WAIT, WE’RE NOT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND SO JUST FREAKING HANG UP!
On the other end, Shadoo hangs up. Dry Bowser gets back up.
Dry Bowser: LOOK, A MONKEY!
Daisy: I’m not that dum-
The monkey knocks her out from behind.
Dry Bowser: GOOD JOB, MAJOR SIMIAN. I HEARBY PROMOTE YOU TO COLONEL! NOW LET’S GET THE GIRL!
Meanwhile in Rogueport, Gaz is sitting on a box. A Toad girl walks up to him.
Toad Girl: Gaz, this guy with a truck says he can take us to a place where they fix Garlic Fever! We have to go with him!
Gaz: Well I have no idea who this person is or how they would possibly know of any way to cure us, coupled with the fact that he’s getting us to go with him without any other parental supervision or anything, so for all we know we could end up dead. But okay, why not? Other than what I just said.
They go into a truck. Shadow Mario gets into the driver’s seat and drives off.
Meanwhile, Luigi makes it into the church.
Luigi: Hey Daisy!
Daisy: Ow… My head…
She gets up from being on the floor.
Daisy: There you are! What took you so long?!
Luigi: Uh, was there a boss fight in here?
Daisy: Yes, but I don’t know who he is. He took Walaine away. And your Sports Illustrated.
Luigi: Well I only subscribed for the funny comics on the back.
Daisy: There aren’t any comics.
Luigi: … You sure? … Say, wasn’t there a box of Badges around here?
Daisy: I guess they took them.
Luigi: Aw crud. Oh no, another Garlic Fever attack!
Luigi faints. Daisy faints too because she’s still hurt. But then Luigi wakes up in a bed in the back room of Daisy’s bar.
Boshi: You can thank us for carrying you back here!
Dr. Topper: “Us”?! You made me do all the work!
Boshi: But you’re stronger than me!
Dr. Topper: But you have a saddle for people to ride on!
Boshi: Big deal!
Dr. Topper: … Anyway Luigi, were there kids here?
Luigi: … Yes.
Boshi: They’re gone.
Luigi: For reals?
Boshi: Yes.
Luigi: Aw dang it!
The Yoshis leave. Meanwhile, Walaine, Shadoo, and Dry Bowser are at the Significant Citadel.
Shadoo: All right, these Badges will be a big help!
That night, Luigi’s looking out the window of the bar. Daisy wakes up.
Daisy: How’d we get here?
Luigi: Oh, Boshi and Dr. Topper carried us. But I think they were careless because my head hurts and I didn’t hit it on anything today. At least not while I was conscious…
Daisy: That reminds me, why didn’t you tell me about your Garlic Fever?!
Luigi: Uhhh, I did but you’re not that observant?
Daisy: I would know if you told me about a fatal disease you have.
Luigi: Dang it! Well it doesn’t matter anyway because there’s no cure for Garlic Fever.
Daisy: Come on, Luigi, don’t be that guy. Don’t be angsty and emo about your disease, that’s not you. I don’t like new, angsty, bad Luigi. I want old, happy, good Luigi. Give me the Luigi I’m used to!
Luigi: First of all, half of that was a rip-off of some joke. Second, I never said I was upset! That’s what happens when you parody RPG’s, the main guy is automatically assumed to have some kind of inner problem!
Boshi walks in.
Boshi: We didn’t find those kids.
Luigi: Is that where you went when you left?
Boshi: … Uh, sure… And I just picked up this Frosty on the way back… I didn’t go out to get it and then come back… (Phew.) Anyway we DID find a witness!
Dr. Topper: They said that Shadoo’s men took the kids to the Significant Citadel.
Daisy: But that’s on another continent. How did they get a truck across the ocean?
Dr. Topper: They rolled up the windows and drove along the ocean floor.
Daisy: …
Next thing we know, Luigi’s riding the Mach Bike to the Significant Citadel. But Shadoo is talking to all the kids.
Shadoo: Now kids, you and I are all the same here.
Kid: How come you’re taller than us?
Shadoo: Uhhhh, because.
Another Kid: Why do you sound like an adult?
Shadoo: Well first, I never said I was a kid-
First Kid: But you said we’re the same.
Shadoo: Yeah but-
Third Kid: Well which one is it?
Shadoo: Guys, help me!
Shadow Mario: Don’t lump us in. You got yourself into this.
Shadoo: … Anyway, we all have to do some big thing, but Plit won’t let us, so it gave us this disease. Now watch as I glow ominously before we start.
He glows pink and the kids laugh.
Shadoo: … Guys! I said to make me glow blue! BLUE!
Dry Bowser: WE’RE OUT OF BLUE OMINOUS GLOW.
Shadoo: *sigh* Okay, now I’ll mess with this water and you must drink it.
Fourth Kid: Are you gonna go in it?
Shadoo: SHUT UP!
Shadoo turns the water black and drinks it.
Volcano: THAT WATER IS FILLED WITH VOLCANICITY!
Shadoo: Sure… I guess… Now everybody drink it!
Fifth Kid: Should it be black like that?
Shadoo: YES! NOW DRINK THE FREAKING WATER OR NO DESSERT!
All the children gasp. They drink it and are under Shadoo’s control.
Walaine: Gaz?
Meanwhile, Luigi’s riding toward the scene when suddenly he’s somewhere else, like in some kind of fantasy.
Vivian: Hi Luigi! Thanks for coming!
Luigi: Huh? Oh, hey Vivian. Look, I’m happy to see you and all, but I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.
Suddenly Luigi snaps out of it. Shadow Mario and Dry Bowser are shooting lasers at him.
Luigi: Aaah! Gee, thanks for distracting me, Vivian!
Phone: You need to learn to multitask!
Luigi: Not now, Sam!
Luigi dodges and Shadoo points. All the kids block Luigi’s path.
Luigi: Class, please move.
One throws a boulder at him, knocking him over.
Luigi: Ow.
All the kids surround him and Shadoo walks into the circle. Luigi’s a little loopy from the boulder.
Luigi: Are you my mommy?
Shadoo: No.
Luigi: Oh… Wait a minute! Shadoo!
Shadoo: Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to make all these kids hate you.
Luigi: No! Don’t do that! Then I won’t be cool anymore! I’ve already failed at being cool to teenagers and adults! I can’t lose this crowd!
Shadoo: Muahaha!
Luigi: Noooooo!!!
Walaine’s voice: Hi, Luigi.
Luigi: Hi, Walaine.
Luigi gets up and pulls out his hammer and hits Shadoo on the back of the head with it as he’s telling the kids bad things about Luigi.
Shadoo: Ow! ATTACK!
Shadoo and his two buddies start ganging up on Luigi.
Luigi: No fair! I didn’t bring any Smash Balls!
Voice: MUSTACHE POWER!
A white half a mustache grabs Luigi and pulls him away. Another grabs his bike. When Luigi uncovers his eyes he’s by a lake with his bike and Merlon.
Luigi: Merlon? What are you doing here?
Merlon: Definitely not trying to take the hat from Vivian’s corpse under that lake there to sell it online for money.
Luigi: … And I thought Wario was bad. So anyway, what do you know about Shadoo, Shadow Mario, and Dry Bowser?
Merlon: I know what they’re up to. Being up to no good… Making trouble in those kids’ neighborhoods… It’s bad. Oh, and I can scientifically explain your Garlic Fever to you.
Luigi: I’d rather you didn’t.
Merlon: Aww… I also found Croco and Mimi and fixed them up some. They were looking for the Shadow Queen’s head at the North Pole Hole.
Luigi: And I take it Shadoo thinks she’s his queen?
Merlon: Yeah. They want to rebirth Dimentio.
Luigi: What exactly IS Shadoo?
Merlon: I dunno, I’m not an encyclopedia!
Luigi: But you just told me all this OTHER stuff!
Merlon: I have a life, you know! I do other things than spy on the villains!
Walaine appears.
Walaine: There you are, Luigi! Gaz is one of those kids from back there, but what happened to Daisy?
Luigi: Her? She’s fine. Here, you can talk to-
Luigi pulls out his phone but wind blows it into the lake.
Luigi: … That was odd. Merlon, take her to Daisy while I go confront Bowser Jr.
Merlon: No.
Luigi: Why not?
Walaine: Stop ignoring us!
Luigi: I don’t ignore you! Just yesterday I asked you how your day at school was! … Which reminds me, WHY did Wario leave you with us again?
Walaine: Because… I don’t know. I’M SO CONFUSED ON LIFE!
Walaine hides under Merlon’s robe.
Merlon: Get out of there!
Walaine: No! It feels soft and I can put my snacks in your shirt pocket!
Merlon: Luigi…!
Luigi: Stop fighting amongst yourselves! I have to do stuff!
Merlon: Wait, think about why you’re doing this.
Luigi: Hmm…
FLASHBACK!
Dr. Topper: They said that Shadoo’s men took the kids to the Significant Citadel.
Luigi: Okay, you get them while I talk to Bowser Jr.
Daisy: Luigi-
Luigi: Daisy, I don’t have inner problems! I’m simple! I’m an Italian man with a green hat and a wonderful mustache! No problems here!
Daisy: Luigi.
Luigi: All right, fine, maybe I’m angsting a LITTLE! But come on. All the cool kids are doing it!
Boshi and Dr. Topper roll their eyes.
Luigi: Butt out!
Boshi: Uhh, maybe YOU should go to the citadel.
Luigi: Fine, I gotta do all the work around here, I guess!
Luigi walks out and takes Boshi’s Frosty with him.
Boshi: Hey!
DIFFERENT FLASHBACK
Luigi is with Vivian again.
Luigi: So anyway, sorry about kind of standing there while I let you die.
Vivian: Well you couldn’t really do anything, there was that box there.
Luigi: Finally, someone understands!
Vivian: But-
Luigi: Huh?
Vivian: Nothing! Just messing with you.
Luigi: Not cool.
END FLASHBACK!
Luigi: … I don’t really know what you had in mind, Merlon.
Merlon: …
Luigi: Okay Walaine, we’re leaving now. Say goodbye to the mustache man.
Walaine: Okay. Bye Mustache Man!
Merlon: (happily) I have a name!
He waves goodbye as the two leave. Meanwhile, Luigi’s phone is still underwater.
Phone: Luigi? Where are you? I’m scared. Woah! Those old messages are annoying me! Out of boredom I must play them.
Voice Mail 1 (Kamek): Hey Luigi. So you’re a traveling plumber now? That’s great. Say, I’ve lost my idiot. If you see him in your travels can you tell him to come back to me already? I have chores for him. Oh, and good luck with the plumbing.
Voice Mail 2 (Bombette): Hi.
Voice Mail 3 (Wario): Wahaha! I remembered what I wanted to say! Tell Walaine I say “hi”!
Voice Mail 4 (Daisy): Hey Luigi, how are you doing?
Voice Mail 5 (Someone else): Can you hear me now?
Phone: BATTERY FAILURE.
Sam the phone dies. The “camera” zooms out to reveal the phone landed near Vivian, ironically enough.
Vivian’s ghost’s voice: Why do I have a bad feeling about all this?
In Rogueport, there’s a monument dedicated to the deaths the Millennium Star and Savior caused, and some guys are stopping Shadow Mario and Dry Bowser from destroying it.
Shadow Mario: Let’s unleash those monsters!
Dry Bowser: YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT WE SHOULD’VE RELEASED WHEN CHASING LUIGI IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE BUT FORGOT?
Shadow Mario: The very same!
Dry Bowser removes his skull. One hand holds the skull while the other reaches into his shell and pulls out some demonic Chain Chomps. The Demon Chomps start to roam wildly and scare people away from the monument.
Meanwhile, Daisy is looking for Gaz.
Daisy: Gaz? Gaz? Where are you?
She bumps into Gaz. He’s still in the trance.
Daisy: Gaz? Hello? Are you in there?
She starts shaking him.
Meanwhile, Shadow Mario and Dry Bowser (skull back on) are trying to wreck the building. Boshi and Dr. Topper arrive.
Shadow Mario: Our queen is in here!
Boshi: Okay.
Dr. Topper: Well, not really. And we don’t know where she is.
Shadow Mario: Well leave it to the idiots to not know.
Boshi eggs Shadow Mario.
Shadow Mario: That was uncalled for!
Boshi: Nuh-uh!
Meanwhile, Bowser Jr. and Shadoo are in the building that’s still being constructed and that the Yoshis and the other two baddies are also at.
Bowser Jr.: That reminds me of something. What do you mean “you need the Essence to be whole”?
Shadoo: I never said that in my whole life. But to answer, I meant Dimentio. Like I said, we’re his remains. And… something, something, mommy issues, something, kill you all, something… Yeah. Not too sure myself.
Bowser Jr.: Wow, that answers… so little.
Shadoo: Well it doesn’t matter because I’ve equipped the Chill Badge! A summon!
Bowser Jr.: What does it do?
Shadoo: Summons Bonechill to terrorize the city!
Bowser Jr.: Oh my.
Bonechill comes out of a rift and starts flying around and shooting icicles out of its cannon while breathing ice all over the place. Meanwhile…
Daisy: Gaz? Come on, wake up! It’s been ten minutes now! Woah!
A Demon Chomp is running toward the two but an icicle freezes it and a rock shatters it and the Chomp inside. Bonechill shot the rock out of its cannon. He’s learned to use more than ice powers! He starts tearing up the building. Meanwhile…
Boshi: Egg time! Whoa!
Boshi stops paying attention to Shadow Mario and Dry Bowser and notices Bonechill. He carelessly tosses his egg behind him.
Dr. Topper: Phew, it missed.
Some guy throws a cat at him.
Dr. Topper: Now that’s just pathetic luck right there. Ow. Claws.
Bonechill releases an energy blast that blows up the building. The four start fighting, Boshi Vs. Shadow Mario and Dr. Topper Vs. Dry Bowser.
Shadow Mario: Give us our queen’s head and we’ll stop bugging you!
Boshi: We told you we don’t know where it is!
Dr. Topper: Why do you even – *dodges Dry Bowser’s punch* – want it?
Shadow Mario: Another reunion!
Dry Bowser: WHY CAN’T I TELL THEM ANYTHING?!
Shadow Mario: Because!
Dry Bowser picks up Dr. Topper and throws him at Boshi, knocking both of them down. But they get back up.
Boshi: It’ll take more than undead wrestling to kill us! We’re stalker bosses! And besides, what do you need a head for? It can’t do anything!
Dry Bowser: THAT’S OUR QUEEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!!
Dr. Topper: O RLY?
Shadow Mario: And now we’re telling on you to her!
Boshi: How old are you, three?!
Shadow Mario: Well we WERE created shortly after Dimentio’s death…
Dry Bowser pulls out a giant bone and uses it like a bat to knock the Yoshis a few yards away. The bad guys catch up to them. Meanwhile, Bonechill has since knocked out Daisy. Gaz wakes up from his trance.
Gaz: Huh, what?
He notices the situation.
Gaz: Stupid dragon! Time to get revenge with my skillZ!
Gaz is about to run towards the dragon but Wario slowly rides up in a tricycle.
Wario: No, you can’t do that.
Daisy wakes up.
Daisy: Wario? On a tricycle?
Wario: It saved me money! But it took forever getting here… Go keep Walaine safe or I’ll charge you!
Petey Piranha comes from nowhere and runs past the group with P.T. on his head.
P.T.: Aye, we better be gettin’ ready for the Caber Toss, eh laddy?
Petey: Knock it off with the accent! It wasn’t funny 20 minutes ago, and it’s not funny now! And get off my head!
P.T.: Quiet time, Petey.
Petey flies up and grabs onto Bonechill’s cannon with his mouth and sinks his teeth in. Bonechill starts flying randomly and P.T. is hanging on by grabbing Petey’s head petals. Wario starts throwing grenades.
Wario: Ha!
Petey: (muffled) Knock it off!
P.T.: You almost hit me!
Something pink lands on Bonechill’s head and it blows up. The same thing falls and lands right in front of Daisy. It’s Bombette.
Bombette: Ow. Hi Daisy.
Daisy: Hi Bombette.
She gets up and goes over to help with the others. The Demon Chomps return.
Daisy: Uh oh.
Scalding hot water is thrown at them and the Demon Chomps retreat. Elvin Gadd threw hot tea on them!
Daisy: … Elvin?
Elvin: Who’d you expect? ******* Santa Claus?!
Daisy: Elvin, not in front of Gaz!
Elvin: Whatever. We got here using the Gadd Cruiser 2.0, and-
Daisy: You can tell me later.
Elvin: But first will you have some-
Daisy: NO TEA!
Elvin: ****!
Elvin storms off to go help the others fight Bonechill. Merlon walks past, following him.
Merlon: Yeah, I’m here, whatever.
Gaz: … Who were all those strange people?
Daisy: They’re old friends of Luigi and me.
Gaz: Bummer.
Daisy: … Yeah.
Luigi and the Mach Bike ride up.
Luigi: Hey, I’m back! I dropped Walaine off. Gaz, go play with Walaine while we kill the dragon monster.
Gaz: Aww, I never get to have fun!
He leaves the party to their business. Daisy gets into the back seat and they ride toward Bonechill. P.T. notices.
P.T.: How come Luigi never lets ME ride with him?!
Petey: *muffled*
P.T.: What?
The party try fighting Bonechill. Wario keeps throwing grenades, Merlon tries shooting him, P.T. is on Petey’s head hitting Bonechill’s cannon with his boomerang, Bombette keeps blowing up, Elvin keeps leaping up and poking at him, and Petey… is still hanging onto the cannon with his mouth. Luigi and Daisy ride up. Daisy leaps off Luigi and goes high up to Bonechill’s face level.
Luigi: See! I told you it’d be good to learn jumping skills!
Daisy kicks Bonechill in the side of the head but he grabs her.
Bonechill: HAHAHA! YOU ALL STINK AT FIGHTING ME!
Elvin: Shut the **** up!
Bonechill: NEVER!
He throws Daisy down but Luigi catches her. His arms hurt now.
Luigi: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Daisy: Oh come on, I’m not that heavy!
Luigi: No, but I AM that weak!
Luigi sets her down. Then Luigi runs up, does a Super Jump, and hammers Bonechill right in the face.
Bonechill: OUCH! TWO FACE SHOTS IN A ROW!
He flies higher up over town. Oh, and he shakes Petey off of his cannon. Petey and P.T. fall and land on Gourmet Guy.
Petey/P.T./Gourmet Guy: Ouch…
Meanwhile…
Bowser Jr.: There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you.
Shadoo: Huh?
Bowser Jr. stands up out of his wheelchair and removes his blanket to reveal a metal shell.
Bowser Jr.: I got a new shell this whole time! And it has this!
He reaches deep into it and pulls out a Scooby Doo lunchbox.
Bowser Jr.: Queeny’s going on a little trip now!
Shadoo: Woah, hold on! You’re telling me whatever’s in there is all that’s left of my queen?!
Bowser Jr. nods.
Shadoo: Well, better than nothing.
Jr. drops it over the edge. Shadoo tackles him.
Shadoo: Ow! Metal shell!
Meanwhile, Luigi is approaching the very same building, going after Bonechill. He leaps up onto a platform where Wario is.
Wario: Here we go!
Wario grabs Luigi and throws him up.
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Bonechill swats Luigi back down, but he positions himself so his feet land on Elvin’s spear that he’s holding out.
Luigi/Elvin: SPEAR JUMP BROS.!
He launches Luigi upward. Petey flies up to Luigi with P.T. still on his head.
Petey: How many party members does it take to get Luigi to the top?
P.T.: Get up on the hydra’s back!
P.T. grabs Luigi with both arms and flings him up. Bombette is somehow as high as Luigi.
Bombette: Bomb!
She explodes, propelling Luigi higher.
Luigi: Ow!
Merlon leaps off a higher edge.
Merlon: Mustache Power!
He grabs Luigi with his mustache and throws him higher. Daisy jumps off the top.
Daisy: Kill it already!
She throws him up to Bonechill. However, Daisy, Merlon, and Bombette fall and land on Petey and P.T., causing them to fall and land on Elvin, who falls through the floor he’s on, onto Wario, through that floor, and onto Gourmet Guy. Bonechill spits an energy ball at Luigi.
Luigi: AAAAAH!!!
Flash to white.
Vivian: Don’t worry Luigi. I can help.
Luigi: Okay. Wait, if you can help from beyond the grave, then why didn’t you do anything after you died in the original story?!
Vivian: Uhhhh-
Vivian grabs Luigi and throws him at Bonechill.
Luigi: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Back in reality, Luigi smacks right into Bonechill’s face.
Luigi: Oh!
Bonechill: GET OFF ME!
Luigi gets on his feet and does a Super Jump, then starts a ground pound in midair and comes crashing down on Bonechill. Luigi and the monster come crashing down into the ground and Bonechill fades away.
Luigi: Ow, my bottom.
The party approach Luigi.
Luigi: Oh, hey guys. Great teamwork back there, by the way, getting me up there.
BOOM!
Luigi: Huh?
Meanwhile, Bowser Jr. kicks Shadoo off of him and smacks him with his paintbrush many times. Shadoo goes over, picks up Bowser Jr., and throws him over the edge.
Bowser Jr.: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Oh well.
He starts smacking the lunchbox with his paintbrush.
Boshi: Why’s he doing that?
Dr. Topper: Maybe he doesn’t like his lunch today.
Bowser Jr.: Wait… Better idea.
He turns the brush around and stabs through the box with it. Shadoo jumps down, catches the box, lands on his feet, and runs away. Meanwhile from on top of skyscrapers, Croco and Mimi throw P Balloons at Bowser Jr., inflating him so he can float down to the ground. There he deflates to normal size.
Bowser Jr.: Ah. Croco! Mimi! You both get raises! Boshi! Topper! You both get pay cuts for just standing there!
Shadoo is about to check on the box when he notices Luigi approaching on the Mach Bike.
Shadoo: Uh oh.
Luigi: Okay Mach Bike, let’s roll!
Mach Bike: Don’t talk to me!
Luigi: All my possessions talk back to me. I’m just like that guy in Blue’s Clues.
Shadoo whistles, summoning a black Dolphin Dasher. He, Shadow Mario, and Dry Bowser ride away, chased by Luigi. They’re chased onto the highway.
Luigi: Get back here, creepy guys!
Shadoo/Shadow Mario/Dry Bowser: No! Go away!
Luigi pulls out a red shell and hits Dry Bowser with it. But it hits his shell.
Luigi: Darn it!
They enter a tunnel. Luigi catches up to Shadow Mario and swipes his brush.
Shadow Mario: Hey!
Luigi pokes him in the eye with it and then jams it into the wall, snapping it in half. He then kicks Shadow Mario’s bike, knocking it over and breaking it.
Luigi: Hooray! I’m cool!
Dry Bowser goes back to check on Shadow Mario. Meanwhile Boshi and Dr. Topper are waiting at the exit of the tunnel.
Boshi: So we bomb the place?
Dr. Topper: No, we decorate it with ribbons. OF COURSE WE BOMB IT!
Boshi: Well SOMEONE sure is cranky!
Shadoo and Luigi zip by.
Dr. Topper: Okay now!
They get ready to throw their own Superbombombs.
Dry Bowser: THEY SET US UP THE BOMB!
Shadow Mario: Quick, try to stop!
They try to stop but it’s too late. The Yoshis throw the bombs. BOOM!
Luigi: I guess that takes care of those two… and apparently the Yoshis…
Luigi goes off a ramp.
Luigi: Whee!
He lands right next to Shadoo.
Luigi: Remember me?!
Shadoo: Uhhh- Look, a monkey!
Luigi turns around and punches Colonel Simian right in the face. But as he’s looking away, Shadoo Karate Chops Luigi’s left shoulder, knocking Luigi over so he can get away.
Shadoo’s voice: Sucker!
Luigi: Well, while I’m here…
He rolls up his sleeve.
Luigi: HOLY SHMOLY, MY GARLIC FEVER HAS INFESTED MY WHOLE ARM!
Meanwhile Shadoo is in the church.
Shadoo: Are you okay, Your Confinedness?
Luigi, on his Mach Bike, bursts in. Luigi drives RIGHT by Shadoo, but he reaches his arm out and clotheslines Luigi off his bike.
Luigi: Dang it!
He’s on the ground, but he gets back up.
Luigi: Oh… Another Garlic Fever attack…
Suddenly water bursts from the ground.
Volcano: VOLCANICITY!
Luigi’s arm is all better.
Luigi: Woah, I’m cured!
Shadoo: Ow! My feet! This water hurts me because I’m such a bad person!
Shadoo Super Jumps through the roof and runs away.
Vivian’s voice: Go get him.
Luigi: Work, work, work! That’s all I do!
In the ruins of old Koopa City, Luigi finds Shadoo.
Luigi: There you are!
Shadoo: Yeah, and now my queen is here!
Luigi: So now what?
Shadoo: … I don’t know. But now you DIE!
Shadoo throws a pink energy ball at Luigi.
Luigi: Ow! … Wait, PINK?!
Shadoo: I’m out of blue!
Luigi: Whatever!
Luigi jumps toward Shadoo but he steps aside and Luigi misses. He punches Luigi.
Luigi: Ow! Thunderrr!
Luigi grabs Shadoo and electrocutes him. Shadoo does a Super Jump and Luigi follows with his own. They do Kung Fu to each other in the air. Luigi is about to punch Shadoo’s face but he blocks with the lunchbox.
Luigi: Ow!
Luigi rubs his head as he falls to the ground. Shadoo moves over and sticks his feet out so they land on Luigi.
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Luigi pulls out his Hammer and hits Shadoo’s shins.
Shadoo: Ouchies!
Shadoo falls over and starts rubbing his shins. Luigi takes the lunchbox and starts beating Shadoo over the head with it.
Luigi: Huh? How do you like her now, she’s beating you up! Look at that, head-to-head!
Shadoo: Stop it!
The Gadd Cruiser 2.0 lowers into the skies above the fight.
Bombette: Now what?
Wario: I don’t know. I’m just upset that the Yoshis got more screentime than us! We were the main party, for Pete’s sake!
Petey/P.T.: Huh?
Wario: Can we land?
Elvin: NO.
Bombette: Why?
Merlon: Because Shadoo is like a premature Dimentio. Think of it like Pokemon. If Shadoo evolves, he’d become Dimentio. So that means Luigi has to fight him.
Bombette/Wario: *sigh*
Bombette: Wait… What’s Pokemon?
P.T.: How do you not know what Pokemon is?! I’m an idiot and even I know!
Daisy: So now what?
Merlon: Uhh, we watch? Anyone got popcorn?
Petey: I do. Don’t ask why.
Bombette: Why?
Petey: …
P.T.: Ha ha, you’re more annoying than me for once!
Bombette: Shut up!
P.T.: You first!
Wario: Both of you shut up!
Bombette: …
P.T.: … She started it…
Wario: So… Can we help?
Daisy: No.
Wario: Okay…
While they were talking, Luigi has been holding Shadoo over his head and at the edge of an old building. Shadoo’s got the box still.
Shadoo: Are you really going to drop me?!
Luigi: Oh yeah!
He throws him. As he falls, Shadoo opens the box and merges with the head.
Luigi: EW!
Luigi follows him over the edge to see what happens. As he lands, black hands grab him by the upper arms.
Dimentio: Remember me?
Luigi: … Aw dang it.
Dimentio throws Luigi back onto the building top and floats up after him.
Dimentio: Now like a woman being stood up, I shall get revenge on you!
Luigi: Ow… What’s your big, evil plan this time? Void?
Dimentio: No, I’m going to corrupt the River Twygx and become all-powerful!
Luigi: No.
Dimentio: Well you’ll have to stop me first!
Dimentio shoots a Starburst at Luigi but he hammers it back.
Luigi: Ha-
He’s hit with one.
Luigi: Ow.
Dimentio creates a box around Luigi.
Luigi: Woah!
Dimentio: If I’m correct, didn’t your friend die this way?
Luigi: *gulp*
The explosions then happen.
Party: !!!
They stop. Luigi’s injured but okay.
Luigi: Hooray for Action Replay!
Dimentio: What Action Replay?! This is supposed to be a movie! How’s that possible?
Luigi: Because shut up!
Luigi jumps on Dimentio, but accidentally hits an invisible coin block on the way up. Luigi moves over and jumps again to Dimentio’s height and hammers him into a wall. Dimentio flies out, shooting Starbursts at Luigi. He keeps hammering them back.
Luigi: Oh yeah! I’m awesome!
Two more Dimentios appear and also start shooting.
Luigi: D’oh!
Luigi tries to jump on one, but it fades. He hammers the other one and it fades, leaving the original. Luigi tries to jump on him but every time he does, Dimentio warps to another part of the battlefield.
Luigi: Oh come on!
Dimentio appears behind Luigi, but he notices, grabs Dimentio, and flips him over.
Luigi: I’ll have to thank Daisy for that move later.
Luigi hammers Dimentio’s chest, picks him up, and hurls him into the wall of a skyscraper a few feet away.
Dimentio: Ow… Why am I so lame?!
Black Plit Energy starts floating above Koopa City’s ruins and Rogueport. Meanwhile…
Walaine: Water?
Meanwhile…
Luigi: So anyway-
Dimentio reappears behind Luigi and is about to punch him, but Luigi turns and catches the fist.
Dimentio: When did you become such a good fighter?!
Luigi: Well while SOME people were in the Underwhere plotting new schemes, others were forced into training with Daisy.
Dimentio: Ah. But now THIS!
Dimentio twists Luigi’s arm and flies up over him.
Luigi: GAAAAAH!
He starts shooting Starbursts. Luigi tries to grab his hammer out of his pocket but his left arm is still hurt so he’s hit and nearly knocked over the edge. He’s hanging on by his right arm.
Dimentio: Now like a race in its final lap, you’ve reached your end.
Luigi: Your similes aren’t that great, you know.
The building collapses and Luigi is lying there on his back.
Luigi: Ow.
Dimentio shoots a Starburst but Luigi turns over onto his stomach and then back.
Dimentio: Now you’re just getting pathetic. Sit still and take it like a man!
Luigi: Never!
Dimentio: Then I’ll just have to do whatever it takes until you don’t have any spirit left!
Luigi: O RLY?
Dimentio: YA RLY.
Luigi: NO WAI.
Dimentio: YA WAI.
Luigi starts feeling motivated (he was stalling for time just there) and pulls out his hammer with his good hand and then carefully aims. He has the Hammer Throw Badge equipped so he throws it at Dimentio and hits him square in the face.
Luigi: Haha! You idiot! I care about everything! So you have to destroy it all before I don’t care anymore! But then once you destroy it I’ll be outraged and want to destroy you, so either way, really.
Luigi starts glowing.
Luigi: Woah! My Final Smash?!
Mario’s ghost appears.
Luigi: Mario?
Mario: Luigi… Use the-
Luigi: Don’t you dare say “Force”.
Mario: Fine, sheesh! Use this then.
Mario hands him a gold Smash Ball.
Dimentio: ?!
Luigi: Woah! I feel super powerful! Like I just got a brand new one! Yoho!
Luigi gets up onto his feet.
Luigi: TERRAGIGAMEGAULTRASUPERFINALHAMMERSMASHATTACK!
Dimentio: Long name…
Luigi’s hammer glows gold and is covered with lightning and green fire. He jumps up high and lands a great hit on Dimentio, knocking him down. 9999 damage! The word “Owned” flashes across the screen.
Luigi: Are you finally dead now?!
Dimentio: Ahahaha! Nope! But ciao for now!
Dimentio turns black and changes into Mr. L’s shape. He’s Shadoo again.
Shadoo: Ow…
Luigi: Oh, hey guy.
Vivian’s voice: Shadoo, stop being ridiculous.
Shadoo: Okay, Shadow Queen.
Vivian’s voice: Huh? I’m not the… Whatever, just come back with us already.
Shadoo: Well if you insist.
Shadoo turns into green water, then melts into a puddle. Garlic gas flies up from the puddle that was Shadoo and now the spot is dry.
Luigi: Ooookay. Not gonna lie, that’s the first time a foe’s melted on me.
Meanwhile above Rogueport, burning Nimbis (summoned by Vivian’s last Final Smash) pour buckets of Garlic water on the town, curing its residents of Garlic Fever. It rains on Bowser Jr., curing him.
Bowser Jr.: Hooray!
Croco: Sooo… now what?
Bowser Jr.: I don’t know.
Boshi and Dr. Topper walk up to Bowser Jr., Croco, and Mimi, and they’re bruised up.
Boshi/Dr. Topper: … We bombed them.
Bowser Jr.: Wow, you guys look terrible… So what say we all go to Wendy’s?
Yoshis: … Eh, sure, whatever.
On the ship…
Bombette: Now what?
Wario: I don’t know.
P.T.: I’m hungry.
Daisy: Guys, he just beat Dimentio for good now, don’t you care?
Elvin: Not really.
Outside, Luigi is being rained on.
Luigi: Must… resist… urge to… raise face toward… the sky… like a turkey…
A grenade hits Luigi and explodes on him, knocking him down. Luigi is exhaling violently.
Shadow Mario: Take that!
Luigi gets up, grabs his hammer with his right arm, and runs toward the villains.
Dry Bowser: WE HAVE LOTS OF BADGES EQUIPPED, SUCKER!
Luigi: Aw crud.
BOOM!
Daisy: Luigi!
Elvin: See?! You DO care!
Daisy: Shut up!
Meanwhile…
Walaine: You think they’ll come back?
Gaz: If not, I call dibs on the pinball machine Luigi likes! Wait…
Gaz answers his phone.
Walaine: How come you get a phone and I don’t?!
Gaz: No, our refrigerator isn’t running. Goodbye.
He hangs up. But it rings again.
Gaz: Huh? Go to the church? Okay, stranger lady.
He hangs up.
Gaz: We gotta go to the church, all the other kids are going!
Walaine: But it’s Tuesday! And if all the other kids jumped off a bridge would you?
Gaz: Yes.
Meanwhile…
Luigi is floating in nothingness. Vivian approaches.
Luigi: Mommy, is that you?
Vivian: No.
Luigi: Okay.
Mario: I’m here too.
Luigi: That’s nice. I don’t really care.
Mario: Well then!
Phone: Luigi? Is that you?
Luigi: Sam? Sam, is that really you?! I missed you!
Phone: Me too… But I belong to Mario now. That is why I am now red and not green.
Luigi: Oh… Okay… Wait, before I go, how many bars do you get here in the Overthere?
Phone: Five.
Luigi: But four is the maximum!
Phone: I know.
Luigi: … Oh!
Luigi wakes up in a pool of Garlic water in the church with all the kids.
Kid: A voice told us you’d be here. She also mentioned free food.
Luigi: Uhh, I have a bag of Doritos in my pocket but now they’re soggy.
Kid: Ew.
Luigi gets out of the pool and notices his friends. Petey’s head is unoccupied and Walaine is holding P.T. by his trenchcoat’s collar and P.T. is sitting facing the exit.
Walaine: The rain got rid of those other two guys.
Petey: If you didn’t notice, all these kids are infected.
Luigi: I figured that.
Daisy: Come on, Gaz.
Daisy leads Gaz in front of Luigi. Luigi grabs Gaz, dunks him into the water, and sets him back on the ground.
Luigi: Better?
Gaz: Wet.
Luigi: But better?
Gaz: Yes.
Luigi: Woo! Score one for the boys back home!
Wario: Obligatory 300 reference!
Wario kicks one kid into the pool.
Wario: All of you into the pool or else you’ll die of this disease!
Kids: Eep!
They get in.
Bombette: That was a little harsh.
Elvin: Who cares? … If that were TEA, I’d be in there too.
Merlon: We know.
Petey: You just had to make a reference to your obsession, didn’t you?
Elvin: Yes. Yes I did.
P.T.: … Who’s that?
Luigi looks to find the ghost of Vivian and the ghost of Mario at the entrance.
Luigi: Oh, hey guys.
Vivian’s ghost: Hi, Luigi. Bye, Luigi.
Mario’s ghost: Bye, Luigi.
They walk out of the church.
Luigi: Ahhh…
He puts on his sunglasses again.
Luigi: I get the feeling things will be going MY way now.
THE END!
…
One week later, Luigi and Gaz are on a cliffside outside Rogueport and Koopa City’s ruins with flowers growing.
Gaz: … Why am I here again?
Luigi: Huh? Where’d you come from?
Gaz: You said for me to come along!
Luigi: I said for Baz to come along, not Gaz!
Gaz: Oh. Sorry. So what’s with these flowers?
Luigi: Oh, uh, someone died here. And that’s when I started being a hero guy.
Gaz: Oh. Can we order a pizza? (This is the third line in a row to start with “oh”. That rhymed.)
Luigi: Eh, why not.
THE REAL END!
The End
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