King Boo's Revenge

From Lemmy's Campfire Tales

Twas a DARK and STORMY night. King Boo had taken over an old and decrepit, but spooky and monstrous, castle. He was plotting... and plotting... and plotting. He wanted to get back at... not Luigi, but... BOWSER! BOWSER had taken away his hideout in the casino and his million coin crown. BOWSER had made him move into an old mansion and trick Luigi, only to be defeated. BOWSER had banished him once again after he had failed to defeat Princess Peach. He wanted REVENGE! Then, it came to him.

King Boo: OF COURSE! BWHAHAHAHA!!! I shall trick Bowser like how I tricked Luigi! I'll make him think he won a castle, then possess him when he comes and force him to give ME the kingdom! BWAHAHAHA!

And so, Bowser received a glittery letter in the mail saying he had won a castle.

Bowser: Hmmm... Something’s fishy... Kamek! Get that fish out of here!

Kamek: Yes, Lord.

Bowser: Sweet! I won a castle! I’d better let my Koopalings check it out first.


Bowser Jr: Why do we have to check it out?

Bowser: Because I'm too lazy. Now go with Kamek and HURRY IT UP!

The Koopalings and the Magikoopa Kamek scurried out and started walking. They were soon aware of the creepy dead trees and odd fog.

Iggy: Ummm... You guys go first.

Roy: Awwww… Is little WIMP scared?

Iggy: No! I just... uhhhh... have allergies!

Bowser Jr: To what?

Iggy: Ummm... FOG!

Bowser Jr: ... I highly doubt that. NOW COME ON!

So they continued until they were there. The castle was HUGE!!! Bigger than theirs, and it looked all old and decrepit.

Koopa Kid (from Mario Party): Looks cool.

Wendy: ... Why are YOU here?

Koopa Kid: Well... I AM a clone of Bowser, so technically I AM a Koopaling.

Wendy: Yeah, right!

Kamek: NO FIGHTING! Let's just take a quick look and go.

So the group went inside the creaky wooden doors and stepped into the dusty, cobweb-filled Foyer. Suddenly, blue flames started circling them... until the whole room was full of Boos.

GameBoo: GRAB THEM!!!

Koopalings + Koopa Kid + Kamek: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

All the Koopalings ran like mad. Roy burst through the closest door he found and tumbled down the stairs into an old sauna. Lemmy tripped off his ball and slid down a ventilation shaft he fit through. Iggy hid under the carpeting and fell through the floorboards. Bowser Jr. attempted to fight the ghosts off and got shoved hard through a closet door, where he lost consciousness as the door locked from the outside. Koopa Kid jumped on the chandelier... which caused a ghost to rise from it and chuck him through the ceiling. Wendy jumped as high as she could and got rocketed by a circle of small Boos into the ceiling as well... and burst through. Morton tried stalling the ghosts by talking and got his mouth tightly glued shut by a mischievous Boo, then got rolled like a bowling ball through a door, up the stairs, and into a hallway. Larry hid in his shell and was kicked like a soccer ball before he slammed into the door and fell into the moat outside. Ludwig was fending them off with fireballs until he tripped while charging a fireball and accidentally blasted himself out a window. Kamek was surrounded and captured.


The Boos took him through walls to a throne room with a scary theme.


King Boo appeared and hissed at his minions.

King Boo: FOOLS! You brought the wrong Koopa! I needed BOWSER!

Boomerang: Soorry, Boss. Bowser wasn't there.

King Boo: NOOO! Hey, whatcha got there, Magikoopa?

Kamek: Oh, this? Noth-

But King Boo had grabbed it. It was Kamek’s magic wand.

King Boo: Hmmm... OF COURSE!!! Boys, fasten him in that dusty electric chair over there!

Kamek was locked in it firmly and securely. King Boo then used the wand to start siphoning Kamek’s magic power into King Boo’s cheap red crown.

Kamek: What are you doing?

King Boo: I'm going to siphon the magic power from you and your wand, then use it to shoot a cannon into space that will broadcast a signal turning everyone into BOOS!!!

Kamek: ... Why do you want alcohol?

King Boo: Not BOOZE! BOOS! As in the ghosts! Then, because I am KING Boo, I shall RULE PLIT! BWAHAHAHA!!!

Kamek: Hey, you ripped off Bowser's laugh!

King Boo: SILENCE!

King Boo then cast a silencing spell on Kamek.

Booigi: Uh, Boss? What about the other Koopas?

King Boo: They won't reach me! With the old AND new gallery ghosts plus you guys, they won't stand a chance! BEHAHAHAHAHA!


Lemmy: Oh man, Kamek was captured! We've got to rescue him!

Morton indicated he wished to speak, so Roy ripped apart his tightly stuck lips.

Morton: Thanks. But how are we supposed to get Kamek back? King Boo has tons of Boos to support him!

Voice from the Shadows: I can help.

All Koopalings: Who's there?

A large Boo emerged from the shadows.

Iggy: RUN!!!

Big Boo: No, wait! I am Big Boo, and I used to be on top of the ghosts until that no good, lousy loser King Boo came along! Why. before him, I used to be able to-

Roy: What's your point, Ghosty?

Big Boo: I'm saying, I'd love a good chance to get revenge on King Boo. I'll help you guys get your friend Kamek back if it means I can defeat King Boo once and for all!

Lemmy stepped forward, extending his hand. Big Boo grasped it with his stubby, ghostly hand.

Lemmy: Deal. Now, here's what I say we should do... Or actually, I don't know what we are exactly supposed to do, though I think we should go into the castle.

Big Boo: Yeah, I guess so; and I still have some Boo Buddies that can help us out.

Iggy: So where do you think King Boo is?

Big Boo: I've no idea. We'll just have to look for him..

Larry: Wh-wh-what if h-h-he finds us f-f-first?!

Big Boo: Don't worry. I can sense his evil, dark energy a mile away. And there's nothing here he knows that I DON'T know. So stick with me, and you'll be -

Morton was about to wander around to the other side of the castle.

Bowser Jr: MORTON!

Morton: What?

Bowser Jr: Don't wander off! Didn't you just hear him? We need to stick together!

Morton: Erm... No. But if we want to find Kamek, splitting up would be the logical solution.

Ludwig: Actually, the logical solution would be to stick with the Big Boo here so that we don't get killed individually. Teamwork is the best strategy here.

Morton: Hmph, fine.

Lemmy: Hey wait a minute, aren't there nine of us?

Roy: Don't you mean eight? Larry, Morton, Bowser Jr, Wendy, Roy, Lemmy, Iggy, and Ludwig; all eight Koopalings.

Lemmy: What about Koopa Kid?

Roy: ... Uh oh.

Lemmy: Okay, I say we split up. That way we shall find Koopa Kid and find ways to King Boo faster. I'll go with Iggy into the basement. Roy and Larry will go into the large double doors in the foyer. Ludwig and Morton will go into the door at the right of the top of the stairs in the foyer, and Bowser Jr. and Wendy will explore the doors at the left of the stairs in the foyer.

Big Boo: What about me?

Lemmy: You stay here and wait for Koopa Kid to come back. Ready, BREAK!


Koopa Kid: OUCH!!! Owwwww... My head... Where am I?

Koopa Kid looked around him. He was in the creakiest and creepiest ballroom he had ever seen. He spotted someone polishing a chandelier.

Koopa Kid: HELLO! Do you know where...  and who...  I am?

The figure stopped and FLOATED DOWN TO KOOPA KID!

Koopa Kid: AHHHHHH! GHOST!!!

????: Hee hee hoo hoo haha! Looks like someone is a little lost, hmmm?

Koopa Kid: GHOST!!!

???: Looooooooooooooooks like SOMEONE needs some manners, eh?

Meanwhile with Big Boo...

Big Boo: I'm bored... Boo Buddies, come!

Only one Boo came.

Boo: What do you want, Big Bo?

Big Boo: I'm bored and I need your help. Where are the other Boo Buddies?

Boo: Help with what? I don't know where the other Boos are.

Big Boo: We need to save Kamek. We're also looking for Koopa Kid right now since he got lost in King Boo's mansion.

Boo: Who's we?

Big Boo: The Koopalings and I. We need a few more people to help us. Can you get Dry Bones and Boo Guy?

Boo: Yeah, okay.

Boo went to get Dry Bones and Boo Guy. They came back to Big Boo.

Boo Guy and Dry Bones: You need something from us?

Big Boo: Yeah, we need to help save Kamek.

Boo Guy and Dry Bones: Okay, we'll help.

Big Boo: We still have to wait until the Koopalings find Koopa Kid.

Boo: What should we do while we wait?

Dry Bones: I don't know, maybe we can play a game of cards.

Back with Koopa Kid...

Koopa Kid: Ahhhhh! Get away from me, you evil ghost!

?????: Ehehehe! Don't worry, we underpaid undead janitors have no need to dispose of someone like you.

Koopa Kid: WHO ARE YOU?

????: I am Washer Brime, one of the custodians working here, or I USED to be working here.

Koopa Kid: What happened?

Washer: I was polishing that very chandelier, when Sir Petty came in. Sir Petty had hated me. He was the brother of this castle's master. He had always wanted to take it over, and the only thing standing against him was me and the master: the master because Sir Petty couldn't inherit it without him dying, and ME because I had a note in the master’s will saying I would inherit half the castle.

Koopa Kid: Geez, why half the castle?

Washer: I was the master’s best friend since third grade. Where was I? Oh yes, Sir Petty happened to have a butter knife from dinner just then, so he cut the rope suspending the chandelier. It fell into glass shards, and I toppled on top of it. After I died, they fixed the old chandelier and assigned a new worker to it. But I hated that notion. Only I could work the chandeliers! Grrrrrr...  JUST SPEAKING OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ANGERS ME SO!!! I THINK I'LL RELIEVE SOME OF MY ANGER ON YOU!!!

Koopa Kid: Don't hurt me!

Washer started floating in the air and making chandeliers fall down. Koopa Kid nimbly dodged each one.

Koopa Kid: For a ghost, you’re pretty weak.

Washer then used a polishing rag like a rope and snagged KK's foot.

Koopa Kid: Uh oh.

KK got flung into the air and crashed into a wall.

Meanwhile with Ludwig and Morton...

Gameboo Advance popped up in front of them.

Ludwig: You don't scare me!

Gameboo Advance disappeared.

Ludwig: Where'd he go?

GBA popped up in front of Ludwig.


Ludwig: Ahhh!

Ludwig went inside his shell.

GBA: Hahaha! I scared you so badly!

Ludwig came back out of his shell.

Morton: Well, I don't find you scary, frightening, spooky-

GBA: Make him stop!

GBA left the room.

Meanwhile with Lemmy and Iggy...

Iggy: Lemmy, this place scares me.

Lemmy: Yeah, me too.

Atomic Boo appeared in the basement. Iggy and Lemmy kept on walking and then saw him.

Atomic Boo: Who is that over there?!

Lemmy: Your worst nightmare! If Boos have nightmares, that is...

Lemmy threw his ball at Atomic Boo, dodgeball style. Atomic Boo got hit in the face by it and then disappeared.

Iggy: Cool!

Lemmy and Iggy opened a door down the hall and entered the cold storage room. Boocaster suddenly appeared and scared them.

Lemmy: *gulp*

Iggy: Umm… Uh… What do we do now?!

Meanwhile, Big Boo, Boo, Boo Guy, and Dry Bones were playing a game of Poker...

Big Boo: 4, 6, K, Dealer receives a 7.

Boo: Ack. Fold.

Boo Guy: I bet 50.

Dry Bones: 50?! Too rich for my blood. I'm out.

Big Boo: You're bluffing. Here's your 50, and 300 more.

Boo Guy: Darn It!

Big Boo: Haha! I win again! The cards love me tonight!

Meanwhile with Roy and Larry...

Larry: Koopa Kid, are you in here?

Right when he finished his sentence, a bunch of Pink Boos appeared in the room.

Roy: I'm not scared of you! You think you're so scary and everything.

Pink Boo: You think you're so tough?

Roy: Yeah! Let's beat 'em up, Larry!

Larry: I'm not so sure of this, but okay.

Pink Boo: Let's get ‘em, fellas!

Then all the Pink Boos inflated to huge sizes.

Larry: Uh... Roy?

Roy: ... Uh oh…

**WARNING! The following scene is for non-squeamish audiences only.
**WARNING! Due to the president seeing this scene, he has banned it. We now continue.

Roy and Larry have been beaten senselessly. I mean, did you see that fight?! IT WAS SUCH UBER PWNAGE!!! I mean, like, Pink Boo completely murdered them, man!

Pink Boo: Wow, they were weak. Now what?

Pink Boo2: I dunno.

Suddenly a scraping sound like the sound of a walking chair was heard.


Back with Lemmy and Iggy...

Atomic Boo popped up in the room.

Lemmy: I thought we beat you?!

Atomic Boo: Like someone hitting us with a ball would beat us?

Lemmy: I'm scared now.

Iggy: Me too.

Meanwhile with Koopa Kid...

Koopa Kid picked up one of the chandeliers off the floor.

Koopa Kid: Man, this is heavy.

Koopa Kid threw it at Washer.

Washer: Ouch! How can you lift the chandeliers?!

Koopa Kid: I'm pretty strong, you know.

Koopa Kid did the same thing again and then threw a chandelier at him for a third time. Washer fell to the floor and dropped a key.

Washer: How did you defeat me?

Koopa Kid picked up the key.

Koopa Kid: I wonder what this is for…

Koopa Kid left the room and went to where Big Boo was and saw Big Boo and his Buddies.

Koopa Kid: Ahhh! Ghosts!

Big Boo: No reason to be scared of us. We're trying to help you and the Koopalings.

Koopa Kid: Where are they now?

Big Boo: They were searching for you.

Koopa Kid: Which way did they go?

Big Boo: Um, they kinda split up, so I don't remember who went where, but they went there, over there, and over there.

Koopa Kid: Thanks. Now where do we go?

Big Boo: Searching for the others, I guess. C'mon, let's go.

Koopa Kid, Big Boo, Boo, Boo Guy, and Dry Bones all set off down the ground-level hallway.

Meanwhile, Lemmy hatched a plan...

Boocaster: Let's get 'em!

Boocaster knocked over Iggy, knocking him unconscious. Lemmy avoided Atomic Boo's attack. Then Lemmy, remembering he had a special way with ice and was ruler of Ice Land, conjured up two ice cubes using the ice that already covered the Cold Storage room. Lemmy fired the cubes like bullets at the two Boos. He struck them both, knocking them dazed to the ground. Lemmy carried Iggy out of the room and revived him in the hallway.

Iggy: Huh..? What happened..? Did you win?

Lemmy: Well, I stunned them.

Iggy: That's good enough. Let's go back by Big Boo.

Lemmy and Iggy were walking back to where Big Boo was and they saw Big Boo, Boo, Dry Bones, Boo Guy, and Koopa Kid.

Lemmy: So, we have more people to help us now. and that's good that Koopa Kid is back.

Iggy: We should look for the others now.

Big Boo: Let's go into the large double doors in the foyer since Roy and Larry are there.

They went to the large double doors and entered. When they entered the foyer, however, it was pitch black and the silence was almost unimaginable.

Iggy: L-L-Larry? R-Roy?

*squeak* *Creak*

The lights flicked on to reveal a doctor in a wheelchair examining Roy and Larry.

Lemmy: Who are you?

????: I am Dr. Crimsli. I was trying to get out of this mansion when I came upon your two friends. We’d better get them to my office.

Lemmy: Okey, I trust him.

Big Boo: Me too.

Boo Buddy: Me three.

Boo Guy and Dry Bones: Us too.

They all walked off, helping the doctor, but Iggy stayed behind and thought.

Iggy: Hmmmm... Was that guy floating? I didn't see his legs touching the ground... Oh well.

Iggy walked off too. They entered Dr. Crimsli's office. The door slammed shut.

Iggy: What was that?!

Everyone looked at the door and Dr. Crimsli was standing in front of it and locked it.

Dr. Crimsli: Hahahaha! I have you trapped now!

Then Iggy noticed the torture chamber-like devices on shelves.

[ ... 1&Letter=5

Iggy: Uhhhh… I don't think this guy’s a doctor.

Dr. Crimsli: I AM TOO!!! At least until that ungrateful Sir Petty poisoned me!

Koopa Kid: You know Sir Petty?

Dr. Crimsli: OF COURSE!!! *the room shakes* It twas a simple day, Sir Petty broke his leg. I repaired it, and then he accused me of being a lousy doctor. He was angered by the fact that I had healed him and impressed the lovely and delicate Miss Lovelane. He and I had both loved her since first sight, and she was not swayed by Sir Petty's money. In anger, Sir Petty slipped Fire Flower Powder into my medicine for keeping my legs well. I perished from the poison, and Sir Petty locked my office for as long as he could. I have been trapped in this hallway for 456 YEARS!!! IT MAKES SOME PEOPLE A LITTLE CRAZY!!!

[ ... 7&Letter=5

Bottles and jars started flinging everywhere and chairs with metal claws filled with knives started trying to grab everyone.


Big Boo grabbed the Koopalings in the room and his Buddies and turned invisible, making them also turn transparent.

Lemmy: That was a close one.

Big Boo: I have an idea, let's grab the bottles and jars and throws them at the ghost.

Iggy: That's a good idea.

Lemmy: I agree.

Big Boo let go of the Koopalings and his Buddies and they weren't invisible anymore. Boo Guy grabbed a jar and it exploded, revealing large, black, slug-like creatures that crawl all over Boo Guy.

Dr. Crimsli: Leeches to suck out the GOOD BLOOD!!!

Boo Guy: Ghosts don't have blood, you know.

The leeches didn't affect Boo Guy.

Big Boo: I have a better idea. Dry Bones, try throwing bones at him.

Dry Bones chucked three bones at Dr. Crimsli. They went right through him.

Dr. Crimsli: If it's a ghost battle you want, you got it!

Dr. Crimsli then started to spit out green blobs onto everybody. Big Boo, Boo, and Boo Guy became invisible. It didn't affect Dry Bones. The green blobs hurt the Koopalings, though.

Iggy: Ewww!

Lemmy: This is nasty!

Koopa Kid: Get this stuff off of me!

Big Boo: Dry Bones, I have another plan, and you are needed for it.

Dry Bones: Okay, what is it?

Big Boo whispered it to him.

Big Boo: Got it?

Dry Bones: Got it.

Big Boo punched Dr. Crimsli but Dr. Crimsli turned invisible and the punch went right through him. Dry Bones was sneaking behind him and smacked Dr. Crimsli's head with a bone after he turned visible again.

Dr. Crimsli: Ow! What was that?!

Dry Bones hit him again.

Dr. Crimsli: Ow! Get out of my face!

Big Boo: Good job, Dry Bones!

Boo: We need to hit him only one more time!

The Koopalings were getting weaker from the green blobs. Big Boo noticed this and gave them Mushrooms. The Koopalings ate them and got better.

Ludwig: Thanks.

Morton: Yeah, thank you.

Boo Guy quickly punched Dr. Crimsli and he was defeated.

Dr. Crmisli: Nooooooo! I'm defeated!

Dr. Crimsli dropped a key. Koopa Kid picked it up. They left Dr. Crimsli's room.

Koopa Kid: I got a key similar to this in another room when I was lost. I wonder what it's for…

Then a beeping sound was heard in Ludwigs shell. He took out a cell phone-like device.

Larry: Whazzat?

Ludwig: This is my Handichine, a little system like a PDA that has a built in scanner. Apparently, it has picked up some odd items.

Ludwig started waving it around until it started beeping loudly on the keys. It then displayed a map with doors showing they require those keys.

Ludwig: AHA! It has scanned the keys and determined which doors they go to.

They looked at the screen and saw 2 doors.

Ludwig: Let's split up again. The ghosts, Iggy, and Lemmy check the door that leads to the kitchen. Me, Larry, Roy, Morton, and Koopa Kid will check out the door leading to the bathroom.

The ghosts, Iggy, and Lemmy entered the kitchen. When they did, they found pots and pans rattling on the stove, and a ghost hunched over them.

????: Wha? Who are you?

Lemmy: Listen, ghosty, we're looking for Kamek. Whaere is he?

????: You DARE to enter my kitchen and make demands of me?! I am Chef Boo-ar-dee, the mansion’s cook! Now, prepare for your final hour!

Chef Boo-ar-dee began throwing knives of various sizes. The ghost simply turned invisible, and Iggy and Lemmy hid in their shells. Then Chef Boo-ar-dee fired blasts of Oregano and other herbs at them. Some of this got in Iggy and Lemmy's eyes, putting them out of action. While Chef Boo-ar-dee was distracted, Big Boo appeared behind him, clutching a pan of boiling water. He splashed it on Chef Boo-ar-dee, who promptly melted.

Chef Boo-ar-dee: NOOOooo...

Chef Boo-ar-dee left behind a strange medal. Lemmy picked it up, examined it, and discovered that it is a Food Medal. This would allow Lemmy to fire food out of his wand.

Iggy: Whew, that was close.

Meanwhile, Larry, Roy, Morton, Koopa Kid, and Ludwig entered the bathroom. Inside were a Dull Bones, Red Bones, Dry Bones, and a Dark Bones.

Roy: This is gonna be an easy fight…

Larry: Yeah, I also think it'll be easy.

Ludwig: We should hit them with a fireball after we defeat them to make sure that we have defeated them.

Roy grabbed the Dry Bones and chucked it at the Dark Bones. The Dry Bones collapsed to the ground.

Roy: Yes!

Ludwig spit a fireball at the Dry Bones and it turned into ashes. Larry stomped on the Dull Bones and it fell to the ground. Ludwig did the same to the Dull Bones as he did to the Dry Bones and it turned into a pile of ashes.

Koopa Kid: Only two more to go!

Koopa Kid punched the Red Bones into the Dark Bones and the Red Bones fell to the floor. Ludwig spit a fireball at the Red Bones and it became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

Morton: Yes! Only one more now!

Morton jumped on the Dark Bones and then the rest of them also jumped on the Dark Bones and it collapsed on the ground. Ludwig spit a fireball at the Dark Bones and it turned into a pile of ashes. A key came out of the Dark Bones. Koopa Kid picked it up and they left the bathroom.

The others left the kitchen. They all met up with each other.

Koopa Kid: We got another key.

Lemmy: We got something called a Food Medal.

Larry: So where does this key go?

Ludwig scanned the key with his Handichine. It revealed a map of the door linking the dining room and the kitchen, where they were now.

Ludwig: This key goes to the door besides us.

They unlocked the door with the key and went inside. They were in a dining room.

???: Don't disturb me while I'm eating.

Koopa Kid: Ah, who's that?

???: I'm Mr. Luggs, you fools. Let me eat!

They flicked on the light to see the fattest ghost ever.

Koopa Kid: Geez... You sure could use a diet.

Mr. luggs: HOW DARE YOU?!

He started spitting fireballs. Koopa Kid stole some of his food.

Mr. Luggs: Hey! Give me my food back!

Mr. Luggs then shot a fireball at Koopa Kid.

Koopa Kid: OW!!! Hey! You burnt my food!

Mr. Luggs: You mean MY food!

Ludwig: Hey Lemmy, do you know how to use that food medal? Because it would probably be a good idea to use it.

Lemmy: Hmm... I haven't a clue on how to use it.

Lemmy then rubbed it on his wand. The medal stuck to the wand, absorbed some magical stuff, and shot out a turkey into Mr. Luggs's mouth.

Mr. Luggs: Mmmm. Yummy!

Lemmy: He seems to like it.

Ludwig: I think you should continue doing that for a good reason.

Lemmy: Okay, whatever.

Lemmy did the same again and fired a chicken into his mouth.

Mr. Luggs: That tastes really good!

Lemmy shot a fish out of his wand into Mr. Luggs's mouth.

Mr: Luggs: I don't feel so good. My stomach is hurting.

Mr. Luggs fell on the ground and dropped a key. Koopa Kid picked it up and they left Mr. Luggs's room.

Meanwhile, King Boo was watching the Koopalings' progress through a magical frame.

King Boo: Gingerbreads! Those fleshies are better than I thought!

Boowaligi: Yes... It seems as though this match isn't going to bode well.

King Boo: Shut up! Ain't no way a couple of turtles will defeat me! They don't even have that vacuum with them, so HA!!!

King Boo looked deeper in the frame.

King Boo: Whatever happened to Bowser Jr. and Wendy?

Ludwig: Let's go find Wendy and Bowser Jr. now. Where were they again?

Lemmy: They were at the doors at the left of the stairs in the foyer.

Big Boo: Okay, let's go there. Also, what room is the key for, Ludwig?

Ludwig: Umm... Here, the Handichine is processing it. Ah! It says that this key leads to the conservatory!

Lemmy: Great! We'll head there right after collecting Bowser Jr. and Wendy!

Lemmy, Ludwig, and Big Boo went to the foyer and found Bowser Jr. and Wendy there.

Bowser Jr: Did you find Kamek?

Ludwig: Not yet. But we do have a key to the mansion's conservatory. Let's head there.

Ludwig unlocked the door of the conservatory and saw a saxophone, a bass, a xylophone, a harp, and a drum set sitting there.

Lemmy: Musical instruments?! Awesome! C'mon, guys, let's play something cool!

Lemmy picked up the saxophone, Big Boo took the bass, Ludwig grabbed the xylophone mallets, Wendy took the harp, and Bowser Jr. got on the drums.

Lemmy: 1… 2... 3!

[ ... &Letter=22

Lemmy led the gang in a rousing round of the Super Mario Bros. 3 overworld music, and the group had a great time making music! Then sounds from the piano in the room were heard.

Bowser Jr: Guys, is any one of you playing on the piano?

Big Boo: No.

Lemmy: Why are there sounds from the piano?

They stopped and took a closer look at the piano. The piano seemed to be playing by itself.

Wendy: AHHHHH!

A ghost appeared. She was whacking the piano keys.

???: Don't you scream at me!

Ludwig: Who are you?

???: I am Melody, the ghost who loves music. Would you like to hear a song from me?

Lemmy: Um, not really, we were in the middle of our own rockin' song.

Melody: WHAT?! Disrespect! I'll teach you to disrespect my music!

Ludwig: Hey, c'mon lady! You just interrupted our jam session!

Melody, enraged, began hurling killer musical notes at them. Wendy and Bowser Jr. were knocked over.

Lemmy: Ludwig! Can you play the saxophone?

Ludwig: (dodging a musical note) No...

Lemmy: Then PLAY! Play like your life depended on it! ... Which it does, incidentally.

Lemmy handed Ludwig the sax. Ludwig took it and started blowing as hard as he could. The resulting sound was so horrendous, Lemmy was knocked off his feet and Melody clutched her ears, screaming.

Melody: NOOOO! The instrument! Played so unskillfully! NOOOOOO...

Melody disintegrated, leaving behind the Music Wand Attachment, which looked like an ordinary musical note.

Lemmy: Hey, what's this doohicky do?

Ludwig scanned it with the Handichine.

Ludwig: Hmm. Looks like you attach this thing to your wand, and you can fire musical notes! Just like Melody! Here, take it.

Lemmy took the Music Attachment and fit it on his wand. After helping Bowser Jr. and Wendy up, the group left the conservatory and walked down the hall.

Dry Bones: Does anyone have an idea of where we're going next?

Boo Guy: Not really.

Lemmy: Where do you think we should go next, Big Boo?

Big Boo: I don't know.

They came out of the conservatory, but a voice startled them.

???: Why isn't there music anymore? What happened to my Melody?

Ludwig: Well...

???: How dare you do harm on my sweet Melody?! I, Shivers the Butler, will avenge her!

Wendy: RUN!

They ran through the hallway while Shivers chased them.



King Boo: Jumpin’ Jack flash, it's a gas gas gas!

King Boo was singing horribly out of pitch as he was wearing a helmet similar to one Kamek was wearing and that was connected to Kamek by a tube flowing with geometric shapes.

Bam Boo: Ummm... Master? Won't siphoning the magic and life energy from Kamek cause a spiritual upturn and make you more human?

King Boo: … *farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttt* Don't talk such nonsense! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go brush my teeth.

Bam Boo: ... You're a ghost! You don't brush!

King Boo (after a long brushing): There's nothing wrong with a little dental hygiene!

Gameboo Advance: Ummmm... Sir? You might want to look at this.

GBA showed him a crystal ball. It revealed the ghosts the Koopalings beat.

King Boo: WHAT?! How could they defeat my ghosts?! Grrrr... Oh well... They’re almost to Chauncey and his dog’s room anyway... Hee hee hee.


Bowser Jr: (panting) Keep… running...

They had been running from Shivers for hours. They were all exhausted.

Ludwig: I suggest a diversion!

Ludwig shot some music notes into the air.

[ ... ission=488

Wendy: ... That actually sounds GOOD.

Shivers: Hmmm… How lovely! Just makes me want to sit on this nice...  cozy...  couch- OWCH!

Shivers had sat on a chair with a lit candle on it.


Shivers ran with his ectoplasm on fire until he dissipated. A large key decorated with a Ferris wheel ornament dropped down.

Big Boo: Whazzat go to?

Ludwig: (checking Handichine) Hmmmm...  It appears to go the playroom.

They followed the key until they came across double doors that were painted with pink and blue dogs.

Ludwig: Well, let's go in.

They pushed the doors until they found themselves in the biggest play area they had ever seen. They were looking at it through a window. The door to it was beside them.

Koopa Kid: It's like an amusement park!

They were about to enter when a noise disturbed them.


Iggy got so scared he leapt into Roy's arms, who jumped into Wendy's arms, who dropped them on the floor.

Lemmy: *gulp* Let's g-g-go.

They entered.

???: Do you wanna pway with me?

They jumped to find a bittle Baby ghost sitting atop a slide. The baby slid down it.

???: I'm Chauncey. Wanna pway?

Ludwig; Um, actually we were just passing through.

Chauncey: There's enough time to pway! Cwome on!

Chauncey pulled out his rattle and shook it. The giant plastic Rex slide shook, then leapt into the air and roared at the Koopalings as it came down.

Chauncey: Wex wants to pway too!


[ ... ission=160

Chauncy threw a ball at Ludwig. Ludwig hid in his shell to avoid getting hurt from it, then came back out.

Dry Bones: How will we beat him?

Boo Guy: Big Boo would probably know.

Boo: Yeah, I agree, Big Boo should know.

Big Boo: Of course I know!

Bid Boo sucked the ball up with his mighty lungs and spits the ball out at blazing speed, right at Chauncey's face.

Chauncey: Ow! You adults are soooooo meen!

Chauncey tackled Big Boo and beat him with his rattle. The monstrous Rex grabbed Ludwig, who was still hiding in his shell, and tossed him at the wall, causing Ludwig to bounce about with no sign of stopping.

Dry Bones: Quickly, Koopa Kid! Do what Big Boo did!

Koopa Kid: How, you bonebag?!

Dry Bones: You're the one with the mouth!

Koopa Kid: Humph...

Koopa Kid tried to suck the ball in, but made a fool out of himself.

Koopa Kid: Better idea.

Koopa Kid went to throw the ball, but was bashed by Ludwig. The Rex took to the skies after picking up Morton.

Morton: AHHHH! Don't hurt, harm, damage, fracture- MMPFH!

The Rex had taken one of Chauncey’s balls and made Morton’s mouth puncture it, then dropped him.

Ludwig: Drat! Now we need another ball to hit Chauncey with!

Big Boo: Well, I only see one...

Lemmy: Really? Where?



Then Lemmy used his wand to get another one of Chauncey's balls, then shot it at Chauncey and Rex.

Lemmy: Wha-hoo!

Roy: That was Mario's bit!

Lemmy: Sorry!

Dry Bones threw a bone at Chauncey.

Chauncey: WAH! You guys are meanies!

Chauncey threw a ball at Big Boo and Big Boo caught it.

Big Boo: Okay, I'm gonna throw the ball now.

Big Boo threw the ball at Chauncey. Rex blocked it by swallowing it, then spit it back out on fire. Big Boo grabbed Rex and threw him at Chauncey.

Big Boo: Yes!

Chauncey: WAH! WAH! WAH! You big, fat doody heads!

Flying rocking horses then attacked everybody, and Rex swallowed Big Boo. Lemmy jumped on one of the flying rocking horses.

Lemmy: Weeeeeeee! This is fun!

Lemmy got his wand out and fired a music note out of it.

Lemmy: Take that!

Chauncy: WAH!

Lemmy did the same a second time.

Chauncy: WAH! WAH! WAH!

Lemmy hit Rex with the same spell after hitting Chauncy, and Rex released Big Boo.

Big Boo: Thanks.

Lemmy: No problem.

Chauncy fell to the ground and dropped an item.

Iggy: That was... easy...

Ludwig: TOO EASY.

Suddenly the Rex came back to life... as a Skeleton Rex!

Lemmy: Oh no!

Ludwig: This is gonna be easy.

Iggy: It is?

Ludwig: Yeah, because it's similar to a Dry Bones.

Ludwig spit a fireball at the Rex and weakened it.


Then he fell apart.

Ludwig: ... That... uh... was unexpected.

Lemmy: I know.

Then the bones started moving, and they swarmed around Ludwig. Once the swarm was over, Ludwig was in a cage made of bones, and bone wings were on the sides of it and the Rex’s skull rested on top.

Cagerex: BEHEHEHE!

Iggy: EEP! He replaced hs vicious roar with an evil laugh!

... Wendy slapped Iggy. Cagerex then flew to the skies and started spitting out a putrid green substance.


Iggy: Wait, what're you do- EEEEEEEEEEEEE!

CRASH! Wendy threw Iggy at Cagerex. It fell apart once again, but this time, Ludwig spit a fireball at one of the bones, and it melted.

Ludwig: That should take care of that.

Again a swarm covered Wendy, and once again Cagerex formed, now in a spherical shape. Wendy was trapped inside Sphere Rex.Cagerex.

Wendy: Get me out of here!

Sphere Rex started rolling towards Ludwig, picking up a lot of speed along the way.

Ludwig: AHHHHHH!

Ludwig hid in his shell.


Lemmy: ... That didn't sound good.

Then they saw that Ludwig was also trapped in the cage.

Lemmy: What a rel- EEEEEE!

Lemmy started running to avoid Sphere Cagerex from running him over.

Lemmy: What are we gonna do?!

Morton: This is horrible, terrible, bad, scary.

Roy: Shut up, Big Mouth!

Big Boo: Use that one music spell you got from that one medal.

Boo: I agree with Big Boo.

Lemmy: Okay.

Lemmy took out his wand- and was trapped in the cage along with Ludwig and Wendy.

Wendy: OW! Get yer spikes out of my tail!

Lemmy: Well get your bow out of my EYE!

Iggy: I guess it's up to me...

Big Boo: How so?

Iggy: Me and Lemmy share a cosmological bond. Whatever he can do, I can do with a little bit of his power.

Iggy shot some music notes into the air that hardened into stones and fell on top of Cagerex. Cagerex broke apart.

Ludwig: Yes! We're free!

Cagerex dropped a key.

Meanwhile, King Boo was watching the crystal ball.

King Boo: What? How can they defeat Chauncey and those dogs? They're better than I thought.

Kamek: Don't underestimate Lord Bowser's children. Now can you get me out of this electric chair, please?

King Boo: Silence! I will never free you. You think I'm dumb?

Kamek: Uh... yes?

King Boo: Don't play games with me.


Lemmy: Hmmm… Where does this key lead?

Larry checked the Handichine.

Larry: ... It leads to the lower dungeon area.

Iggy: ... Uh... Maybe I should stay behind.

Suddenly a creepy cackle filled the air and a cuckoo clock seemingly cuckooed out of nowhere.

Big Boo: ... Oh no. It's night.

Roy: So?

Big Boo: Ghosts thrive at night. Some ghosts even stay away during the day and only come out at night.

Roy: So... we might find new ghosts?

Big Boo: Yep.


King Boo had been sleeping for 2 hours. He came out.

King Boo: Good morning!

Boos: ... O_O

Kamek: ... O_O

Boolossus: ... O_O

King Boo: What?

GameBoo: ... You have... HAIR!

King Boo: What?

King Boo looked in the mirror. It was true, he had a huge red afro.

Boomerang: I KNEW you would become more mortal!

King Boo: Shut up! Do not speak such blasphemy! I am fine. That hair-growing lotion must have worked after all.

Boomerang: You’re a GHOST! GHOSTS... DON'T... HAVE HAIR!

Back with Big Boo and the Koopalings, they were in the hallway and were on their way to the lower dungeon area.

Iggy: I'm not sure about this…

Roy: Scaredy cat. What's wrong with you, punk?

Iggy: The room we're heading to sounds scary.

Roy: So?

Morton: Hey, hurry up, catch up, walk faster, don't stop.

Suddenly a light purple ghost came out of a ceiling.

Light Purple Ghost: BOO!

Roy and Iggy: AHH!

Roy and Iggy jumped.

Light Purple Ghost: Hahahaha!

Iggy started hyperventilating.

Light Purple Ghost: Hey, stop that, you're going to suffoc-AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Iggy's hyperventilation sucked in the purple ghost.

Roy: Hmmmmmm... I think I have an idea. OOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!


Roy carried the hyperventilating Iggy and started using him like a vacuum. Suddenly a bouncing noise was heard.

Wendy: What's that?

Then a weird white ball with a ghost face painted on it bounced towards the Koopalings.

Bowser Jr: It's a...  bouncey ball?

Suddenly the ball floated into the air, revealing itself to be a ball-shaped white ghost.

Scare Bounce: EYAHAHAHA!

Wendy: AHHHH!

Roy: Iggy, there’s a ghost behind you!

Iggy started hyperventilating, and he swallowed the ghost.

Iggy: YUCK!

Iggy learned the Ghost Spell!

Bowser Jr: Whazzat?

Koopa Kid: Try it out.

Iggy fired what looked like a gray fog from his wand. It formed into a Gold Ghost.


The Gold Ghost flew around… then disappeared.

Wendy: … That was weird.

Bowser Jr: WOW! That was about the coolest thing ever! We gotta see that again.

Iggy: Okay.

Iggy fired another gray fog from his wand. It transformed into Gold Ghost.

Gold Ghost: Stop that! I want to sleep in peace!

Wendy: You... can talk?

Gold Ghost: Why of course I can. How else did you think I went "OGEDLY OGEDLY?"

Wendy: ... Oookay.

Bowser Jr. sat there drooling.

Bowser Jr: Pretty, pretty, shiny, shiny!

Gold Ghost: What's with the kid?

Iggy: I dunno.

They were still walking around the hall and then a group of Boos popped out of nowhere.

Bowser: Jr: Not more ghosts!

Lemmy: I hate ghosts!

Boos: You'll have to get past us to go any farther!

Iggy literally got past them.

Boo1: Hey! You get back here!

Bowser Jr: They're not evil! They're just wimps!

Boo2: Wimps?

Wendy: Yeah, wimps with no fashion sense.

Boo3: No fashion sense?!

They all walked off laughing.

Boo2: Guys, I told you already, we're never gonna gain King Boo's respect like this!


Nana: Oh, welcome dearies. Won't you stay a while and have some fresh-baked cookies?

Lemmy: Hey, this ghost actually seems pretty nice.

Nana: They're fat-free, carb-free, and taste-free!


Iggy: This can't go on any longer. I challenge you to a... KNITTING CONTEST!


Iggy: What? You're Roy's favorite punching bag, you learn how to knit casts.

Nana: Okay, this'll be way too easy.

Iggy: Bring it on!

Nana went over to a cabinet in the room and got some knitting supplies. The contest started. Iggy and Nana were knitting so fast you could barely keep up with them.

Nana: Not bad, sonny, but can you handle THIS?

Nana's hair suddenly spiked up into a yellow color and a yellow aura surrounded her.

Iggy: Puh-lease! Even I can top that!

The same thing happened to Iggy.


After hours of knitting the competition ended.

Nana: Let's see you top THIS!

Nana bought out a whole collection of novelty T-shirts.

Koopalings: Awwwwwww...

Iggy: Uhoh... FOR YOU! Behold!

Iggy pulled up an entire collection of Super Mario Bros. and Bowser-themed novelty hats, shirts, yarn bobble-heads, and slippers.

Bowser Jr: Hooray!

Roy: ... I never knew he would benefit from me pounding on him...


Nana disintegrated, dropping a key in the shape of knitting needles. Iggy picked up the key.

Iggy: Hmmm... What door do you think this unlocks?

The Koopalings thought for a moment, until...

Lemmy: Aha! I have an idea!

Lemmy took the key and moved over to a door that had an incredibly creepy eye where the doorknob should be.

Roy: Ahhhhh, I get it.

Lemmy poked the eye with the knitting needles.


The door unlocked. They saw a giant Mr. I in the room.

Iggy: That eye thing looks scary!

Roy: That’s because you're a wimp!

Lemmy: This does seem scary.

Mr. I: You will be trapped in here forever! Mwhahahaha!

All doors and ways to get out of the room were locked. Mr. I shot a laser at Big Boo. It passed right through him.

Big Boo: ... Oh please. That was completely patheti-EEEEEE!

Suddenly Big Bo was sucked up like a vacuum into a trapdoor.

Mr. All-Seeing Eye: Reminder, always keep a trapdoor for ghosts!!! BWAHAHAHAHA! Now, you shall feel my wrath!


Mr. ASE: Ahhhh… The sweet stench of… FEAR!!!

Bowser Jr: I don't smell anything.

Koopa Kid: You're an idiot.

Ludwig: Don't start a fight, you guys.

Dry Bones: How will we stop him? This guy seems really powerful.

Boo: Yeah, this will be tough.

Boo Guy: There might be something that can help us if we look around the room.

Suddenly Bowser Jr. spied...

Bowser Jr: A computer! This gives me an idea!

He snatched the computer and typed hurriedly into it.

Mr. I: Hey! That's my personal computer!

Mr. I shot a laser at Bowser Jr, but he threw the computer in front of Mr. I.

Computer: LOL Seshy is such a mancakes!!!11111one


Mr. I spontaneously combussed. A secret door opened with the familiar dungeon secret jingle from Legend of Zelda.

Iggy: Man, these CFTs keep getting more and more wacky.

Roy: We broke the fourth wall!

The fourth wall crumbled.

Wendy: … That joke is SO out.

They all headed down the passage.

Iggy: This passage is scary.

Roy: That's what scaredycats say.

They continued to walk and saw a door.

Koopa Kid: Should we open the door?

Boo: Of course. Why not?

Koopa Kid tried to open the door.

Koopa Kid: It's locked.

Roy: Uhhh... Did we get a key from that eye thing?

Everybody stared at each other, then dashed back through the passage and saw that the eye DID drop a key. It was slightly fancier and had MINIBOSS KEY engraved on the side.

Lemmy: Hmmmmm… I wonder what that means?

Iggy: I don't wanna find out.

They headed back downstairs and opened the door. They entered a... a... BALLROOM? Big Boo suddenly fell through a door in the ceiling.

Big Boo: Owwwwww...

Morton: Your alive! What's a ballroom doing in a dungeon?

Big Boo looked around... then froze and started running.

Big Boo: IT'S THE MIRORS! Everybody, RUN!!!

Suddenly the lights went out and 4 fog balls formed in the room. The green and red ones formed into the Dancing Whirlindas. The black and white ones formed into an old man and old lady.

Black: Whaddya kids doin's here?

Lemmy: Uhh… N-nothing...

White: Ahhh... Jonathan Miror! That's no way to treat our guests!

Wendy: ... What's so menacing about THESE geezers?

Big Boo: Watch.

Suddenly all 4 ghosts started dancing, and the ballroom started spinning...

Lemmy: I feel dizzy.

Iggy: Same here.

Ludwig: What can we do stop these guys?

Big Boo: It might be tough, but I think I have an idea.

Ludwig: What is it?

Big Boo: They always do some fancy dance move, and THAT is when we shall strike...

They waited, and struck the duos when they twirled.


Koopa Kid: ... Umm... Sorry? We just wanted to get through.

E.G. White: Oh, well, we're sorry, you poor dearies.

Koopa Kid: … We can go?

Dancing Whirlinda: NONSENSE! Why not dance with us?

The ballroom spun faster and faster until the group were warped to a shiny and expansive ballroom. The ghosts were dancing around, and Big Boo, Ghost Guy, and Dry Bones were on the other side of the ballroom, bagged up like trash.

Wendy: ... What in the world is goin’ on?

Then John floated to them.

John: Come on, dance with us!

The ghost floated away, and Shy Ghosts also appeared and start dancing.

Lemmy: What do we do?

Iggy: … I think we have to dance across...

They started to dance their way to the other side. One of the Shy Ghosts tried to hit Bowser Jr. with his pitchfork, but Bowser Jr. danced out of the Shy Ghost's way.

Dry Bones: What shall we do?

Ludwig: Well, they want us to dance, so I guess we should dance.

Roy: We are supposed to beat them up.

Big Boo: We will when they do that fancy move.

E.G. White and John danced up to them.

E.G White: My. Not bad. Our guests have a dancing talent here.

John: Keep dancing.

Two Shy Ghosts danced to them while John and E.G. White danced away.

Roy: Bring it on, stupid masked ghosts.

Suddenly a Shy Ghost grabbed Roy and spun him to another Shy Ghost, who spun him to another, and another, etc. The same happened to everyone else. Soon everyone was scattered about, being twirled and danced with.

Roy: Can't breathe... Feet... on… fire..

Ludwig: Wait... That's IT!

Roy: What?

Ludwig altered his course slightly so that Roy got knocked into one of the Shy Ghosts, setting him on fire. The Shy Ghost freaked out and poked another one by mistake. Eventually a huge fight broke out and the gang managed to break out and leave the room.

Larry: HA! That was easy!

A key the shape of a disco ball dropped from the sky.

Ludwig: What does this one lead to?

They all stopped and stared at an iron door with a huge bolt in the shape of a skull. The door had Dry Bones skulls pinned by spikes all over it. It said, painted in red paint, EXECUTIONER’S ROOM.


King Boo: BWAHAHAHA! They have surpassed the Mirors!

BamBoo: … Isn't that a bad thing?

King Boo: NO! That means, Vruegan von Headlass, the executioner, is near! They stand no chance at all!

Boomerang: Hey, yeah! That means they also have to find the 3 other keys that unlock his door!

King Boo: That is correct! They have found one, but they shall need Pink Boolossus's key and Hologram Bogmire's key! Those bosses guard the 2 most scary areas, the Secret Passageway Network and the Graveyard! BWAHAHAHHAHA!


King Boo: What now?

Kung Boo: You've sprouted fingers!

King Boo looked at his... HANDS! He had finger-topped Koopa hands!

King Boo: ... That's... odd...


Koopa Kid: *gulp* I'm scared.

Boo: Well, I'm not.

Bowser Jr: That's because you're already dead.

They entered the room and saw a headless Dry Bones standing next to a guillotine.

Bowser Jr: This is scary. Who are you?

Vruegan: I am Vruegan von Headlass! And you shall all be killed!

Boo: I won't be killed.

Boo Guy: Me too.

Vruegan: Oh yes thee shall! I have guillotined every rule violator, until SIR PETTY turned the tables!

The walls shook and dust fell.

Koopa Kid: This Sir Petty dude's a recurring person... What did he do to you?

Vruegan: He was always jealous because the master gave me a map of the sewage system, where the hidden treasure was thought to be held. One day he came in and said "Oh my, how dreadfully dirty your guillotine is... Why don't you clean it?" So I, being the fool I was, examined the blade and base. Petty pulled the rope, and the blade sliced my head clean off! I have come back from the dead... searching for my very head that he stole away!!! MAKES ME SOOOOOO... SADDD!!!

Vruegan broke down and started crying.

Roy: Wooh, I though this was a tough guy...

Vruegan suddenly laughed evilly.

vrugan: Hee hee hee... You have seen me, and seen how I live... so you must DIE!!!

Vruegan suddenly flashed, and he was wearing a large black cape and had a sheathed axe on his back. His guillotine was floating and creepy, narrowed slit eyes stared at the Koopalings. Another similar door, identical to the first, fell in front of the Koopalings, and lightning flashed all around it.

Vruegan: You must let me sharpen my axe... but... if you can find the key that Pink Boolossus holds… in the Secret Passageways... you may open that door... Until then, goodbye.

Vruegan pulled a rope, and the Koopalings fell down a trapdoor. They saw a few treasure chests in front of them.

Larry: Oooh, treasure!

Larry opened one of the treasure chests and a ghost came out.

Ghost: BOO!

Larry: Ahhhhhh!

All the other treasure chests opened by themselves and a ghost popped out of each.

Roy: What does a ghost need to buy?

Jr: Read it.

Iggy: *ahem*
Ice cream to eat away sorrow
More ice cream to eat away sorrow
Chocolate ice cream to eat away sorrow
Chocolate to eat away sorrow.

Wendy: Jeez, none of the other guys were this sad.

Jr: Plus, he's a DRY BONES! How does he keep the ice cream in him?


Wendy: Hey, it's a door!

The party opened the door to reveal... a rather vacant, treasure-filled room.

Iggy: SWEET! Treasure!

Wendy: It might be booby-trapped.

Jr: She's right. Let's slowly open that big, shiny chest.

Iggy cautiously opened it.

Iggy: Oh. See? No trap. Just a head.

Iggy put up a Dry Bones head with a black bandana obscuring the eyes. Iggy looked at it.


Iggy screamed.

Jr: Could it be... Vruegan's head?

Ludwig: Probably it is his head.

Koopa Kid: Maybe if we return it to him he won't kill us?

Iggy: It's worth a try, but we need to get the key from Pink Boolossus.

Big Boo: I know where he is! We just have to trek through every passageway!

Suddenly an eerie wail covered them and a ghostly female Koopa appeared.


Jr: AH!


The ghost then shot out Fire Ghosts and Ice Ghosts that froze and burned the group.

Wendy: She's mad! We'll have to fight!

Ludwig: Have some fire!

Ludwig spit a fireball at an ice ghost. The ice ghost faded away.


The Koopa ghost shot a spear made of ice at Jr, who dodged it by pole-vaulting on his paintbrush.

Jr: How do ya like them apples?

Then he got whacked on the head by a fire ghost. Ludwig was burning as many ice ghosts as he could, while Wendy was dousing as many fire ghosts as she could.


A fiery spear blasted Wendy into a wall.


???: Hahahahaha! Feel my wrath!

The ghost chucked a bunch of ice and fire spears at the Koopalings. Iggy jumped over one. Roy caught an ice spear in his hand.

Roy: I have an idea.

Roy threw the spear at a fire ghost, creating a bunch of steam. Then he snuck up behind Iggy.

Roy: BOO!


Iggy started hyperventilating again, and Roy attempted to suck up ???.


The mystery ghost then morphed her mouth into a vacuum and the group started getting sucked in.

Iggy: So much for your “plan”, Roy

Roy: This was my plan, you dope! Or something like it.

Roy threw Morton into the vacuum.

Morton: Thatwasn'tveryniceandnowimstuckhereanditsreallyboring.


??? exploded. Morton wqs freed, but a strand of ectoplasm was binding his mouth shut.

Morton: Mph.

Roy: YES! Hey, I think it is odd that ??? never got a name.

Lemmy: Wait, what's this scrap of paper?


Boo: Um, how can a Koopa be Pink Boolossus?

A bunch of Pink Boos flew out of the Koopa ghost and ran away.

Big Boo: I think that explains it.

Boo: That was weird.

Dry Bones: Well, whatever, let's just go to Vrugle or whatever his name is.

Boo Guy: Yeah, let's go now.

A Gold Ghost appeared out of nowhere in front of Iggy.

Iggy: Ahhhh! Ghost!

Iggy hid in his shell. The Gold Ghost threw a punch at Iggy that knocked Iggy out of his shell. The Gold Ghost stole Iggy's shell and started running away.

Iggy: Gimme back my shell, you stinky thief!

Jr: Wow, this is getting more and more random... PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!

Wendy: Stop adding to it. Anyway, I think it would be best if we split up. Big Boo, Iggy, Dry Bones, and Shy Ghost, go find Iggy's shell. The rest of us will go to Vruegan.

Everyone agreed. Roy was reluctant because Morton wouldn't stop bugging him.

Morton: MMMPFH!

Roy: Geez, even with his mouth shut he's irritating.

Wendy's group headed to Vruegan. Vruegan appeared to be listening to sappy love songs and eating ice cream while… crying?.

Jr: Okay, this makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! How can someone with no HEAD be crying? That's it, I'm out of this story.

Jr. ripped a hole in the dimension and walked out it. Roy grabbed him and pulls him back.


Vruegan: WHAHHHHHH!!! GAH! It is but you! How dareth thee come before me?

Wendy: We found your head.

Wendy tossed the odd Dry Bones head at Vruegan. He caught it. However, once he put it on he seemed... still a little sad. Then he cried WITH a head on.

Lemmy: Okay, WHY are you so sad? We got your head back.

Vruegan: Uh... yeah... Awkward... ummmmm... This isn't the only thing that is making me sad... You see... I once had a girlfriend-

A glass shattered somewhere and a lightning bolt sounded off, and Wendy screamed. Roy screamed too, and fainted.

Vruegan: THAT'S NOT THE HORRIFYING PART!!! Anyway, I had a girlfriend, and we planned to get married right here. However, I didn't know that Petty had his eye on her too. And so, on the night of the wedding, he found us, and killed my love. He warned me to never speak of it. Then he killed me, too. As I have told you.


Vruegan: That was the horrifying part!

Wendy: Oh. *SCREAM!!!*

*glass shatter*

*Lightning bolt*

Lemmy: Hmm… Interesting story. Uh, can we get your key now?

Vruegan: NO! We must do battle!

Lemmy: Let it be!

Lemmy suddenly did a super fast tackle attack. Vruegan charged at him with his axe. Wendy suddenly stopped them.

Wendy: HOLD IT! How about this- Vruegan, we find your girlfriend’s ghost and bring her to you, and you get us the key?

Vruegan: Hmmm... Very welleth! Farewell! And RTEURN WITH VONITA OR I WILL DO MY FINAL EXECUTIONING ACT ON YOU!!! Goodbye!

Vruegan pulled a rope and everyone fell down a trapdoor.

Meanwhile with Iggy and the supernatural parade...

Dry Bones: Where is that ghost? He's really fast!

Iggy: Wait a minute... I have an idea!

Iggy used his ghost powers. A Gold Ghost popped out of the wand.


Iggy: Hey, do you know where that thief who took my sh- Say, nice hat.

Gold Ghost: Thanks, I swiped it from some stupid Koopa... Oh DAD.

Iggy, Big Boo, and Shy Ghost started beating up the Gold Ghost. Iggy suddenly got up and donned his shell again.

Iggy: Hmm… Something doesn't feel right... OH DAD! I'M INVISIBLE!

GG: Well duh. I wore the shell. It sapped some of my ghost powers. Hooray.

Suddenly the entire group heard a scream from the other side of a wall.

Dry Bones: Woah! What happened?

Iggy: That was a suspiciously girly scream... It must be Roy!

Iggy grabbed Dry Bones and they walked through the wall. Big Boo and Shy Ghost went through the wall, too, to meet up with the rest of the group.

Shy Ghost: Wow, that was fast.

Iggy turned visible again.

Wendy: Ack! Where'd you come from? In any case, we found Vruglargle, or whatever's, girlfriend, but there is a slight problem...

Vonita's skeleton was hanging by a rope tied to its arm, and a ghost dressed in a suit with way too many ruffles was floating in front of it.

Ruffled Ghost: Hello, hello, hello. My name's Sir Waytoomanyruffles, Sir Petty's loyal butler and emissary. It seems that you're trying to kidnap his beloved, so I must stop you now!

Roy: ... Sir Waytomanyruffles? Hah! What a stupid name!

Sir Waytoomanyruffles: It looks like you volunteered.

Sir Waytoomanyruffles conjured a fireball from nowhere and chucked it at Roy. Roy tried to punch it away, but it exploded and he flew through the air into a heap of bones.

Sirwaytoomanyruffles: Take that, lowlife!

Wendy: Geez, he can actually fight.

Sir Waytoomanyruffles: RUFFLE POWER!

Sir Waytoomanyruffles shot a huge orb of light at the group, who dodged out of the way.

Lemmy: Geez, how can we beat him? Oh, wait! ICE ATTACK!

Lemmy grabbed his Freeze Gun and blasted a blue ray at Sir WTMR. It passed right through and froze the wall.

Sir Waytoomanyruffles: HA! Only ghosts can hurt me!

Iggy: In that case... GHOST POWER!


The Gold Ghost stole an "o" from Waytoomanyruffles's name.

Lemmy: Wow, that was surprisingly anticlimactic... At least we have Vonita's…

The rope was empty.

Lemmy: Skeleton... Quick! We've got to find whoever stole it!

Cue the chase music! ... Never mind.

The group ran through corridors, desperately searching for Vonita's skeleton, when they found it in the hands of a rather creepy version of Bogmire.

Big Boo: GASP! Hologram Bogmire!

Hologram Bogmire: ...

Ludwig: Scanners reveal that he... is a ghost. So why is he called…

Obvious holograms of the party appeared and started beating up their respective doubles, except for Roy's hologram, which started beating Iggy.

Iggy: Oh, COME ON!

Roy: Hey, Hologram Roy? Would you mind if I beat Hologram Iggy?

Holo Roy: BEEP!

Roy: Thx..

Roy pounced, flailing his fists wildly. A punch to Holo Iggy's gut made the real one fall over and go “Owwwww!”

Ludwig: Ooh, that gives me an idea!

Lemmy: What's your idea?

Ludwig: Well, you see, when Roy punched the Hologram Iggy, it hurt the real Iggy.

Lemmy: Yeah, and?

Ludwig: Well, maybe if we hurt the Hologram Bogmire, we'll be able to beat him.

Lemmy: That's a great idea.

Koopa Kid: I'll try throwing something at him.

Koopa Kid picked up a stone and chucked it at the Hologram Bogmire.

Bogmire: Ow! Augh, how did you figure out how to defeat me? No matter, I'll still be able to beat you guys up.

Hologram Bogmire waved a hand, and not only did all of the holograms multiply themselves by five, they grew three new pairs of arms.

Iggy: Eep.

Roy: Well, I had a good life, but I might as well beat up Iggy one more time before I die.

Roy uppercut Iggy, and all of the Iggy Holograms disappeared.

Roy: Say, that was convenient. Hey, guys! I found their weak points!

Roy uppercut all the Koopalings, including himself.

Iggy: OW! You didn't have to do that twice!

The holograms flickered, then disappeared.

Hologram Bogmire: Oh no! But you'll still never be able to defeat me!

Ludwig: We'll see about that.

Ludwig followed a light trail with his eyes until he saw a cleverly disguised projector. He smashed it, Hologram Bogmire flickered out, and Vonita's skeleton dropped to the floor.

Wendy: Great! Now all we have to do is return the skeleton to Vruegan!

An hour later...

Vruegan: Vonita... is that you?

Vonita's skeleton came to life.

Vonita: It is I. These heroic Koopalings saved me from that horrible Bogmire thing.

Vruegan: I must thank you... NOW! HELP ME ONE LAST TIME! WREAK MY REVENGE, AND THE REVENGE OF HALF THE GHOSTS HERE, BY DESTROYING SIR PETTY! He will be found in the Clock Tower. But be warned, King Boo and that ruffle guy shall be found there too.

Lemmy: And then can we escape?

Vruegan: Um... Sure, I guess.

Lemmy: Then let's go!

They strolled through the hallways and saw many Boos. Iggy started to shiver, yet the Boos didn't even bother them.

Ludwig: That's weird, the Boos aren't trying to harm us or anything.

Roy: They're probably just scared of me because of how tough I am.

Ludwig: I thought they might actually be planning something.

Roy: They probably aren't.

Lemmy: I think we should just continue walking and avoid the Boos.

So the group just continued walking and were only moments away from the door to the clock tower. Unfortunately, a group of Boos linked together and blocked the way. These Boos looked slightly different. They were wearing thick iron helmets and had ghostly boots floating beneath them.

Phantasmaniac 1: BEHOLD! We are the Phantasmaniacs!

Larry: That's a long name.

Phantasmaniac 1: SILENCE! We are almighty and powerful, possessing skills you cannot imagine!

Phantasmaniac 2: We're also gonna be in Super Mario Strikers Charged!

Phantasmaniac 1: SILENCE!

The Koopalings stared at them, examining the possible ways the ghosts could hurt them.

Lemmy: You don't look that tough. Besides, we need to get in the clock tower.

The first Phantasmaniac laughed an evil cackle.

Phantasmaniac 1: You're kidding me! You can't beat him! We're so close to achieving the plan. (whispering) And… uh... between you and me, King Boo's feeling a little odd at the moment.

Roy: Bah! I'm just gonna pummel my way through!

Roy charged full force at the Phantasmaniacs. However, he was kicked in the stomach and knocked into Larry.

Larry: Oomph!

Phantasmaniac 1: NONE SHALL PASS! Perhaps if you can find a certain item for me, I will let you through, though.

Iggy: Ya mean like a bribe?

Phantasmaniac1: Er, sorta. Find me the Roadkill Key in the meat locker, the Opera Key in the opera house, and the Gargoyle Eye from the roof. Then, you can pass. Until then, BEGONE!

In a big breath, all of the Boos blasted the gang down the hall.


They looked around at the end to find that they were all the way back at the entrance.

Big Boo: DANG!


The Boos were panicking. Kamek's energy was almost completely sapped, and King Boo was starting to literally morph. Along with the other stuff, King Boo had grown a Koopa-like tail and short, stubby little legs. He had also lost the ability to phase through walls.
King Boo finally waddled to the bathroom.

King Boo: I MUST DO SOMETHING! Think, think, think...

Meanwhile with the party...

Roy: I can't believe this! I feel like we're getting sent to find every item that isn't nailed down in this entire #@(* mansion!

Larry: Yeah! Why would a mansion have a clock tower, anyways? But in any case, the opera house is right over there.

The gang burst in to find...

Iggy: Wha? MELODY?

Ghost: No, although I can see the confusion. I am Melody's older and more beautiful twin sister, ARIA PIANISSIMO!

Lemmy: And you wouldn't, in fact, be willing to just hand over the Opera Key, would you?


Ludwig: Ack, my poor saxophone skills won't be able to save us from this one.

Lemmy: No, but I still have the Music Attachment from Melody.

Aria: Enough chit-chat. First person who collapses wins.

Aria started belting out an opera... aria. Lemmy started firing musical notes at her, which qualifies music. This went on for a while, but Lemmy looked like he was about to collapse.

Wendy: Wait! Per the rules of musical duels, we're allowed one switch-off per duel!

Roy: ... Wow, you really memorize a lot of useless trivia.

Wendy pushed Lemmy out of the way and began screaming at levels that rivaled Aria.

Aria: Gasp! A rival at last!

Aria started singing louder and louder.

Iggy: Oh no, even Wendy's no match for this Aria ghost!

Larry: No, but while they were having a scream-off, I swiped the Opera Key. RUN!

Ludwig snatched Wendy and they all ran away. Iggy conjured some ghosts to stop Aria from catching them. On the other side of the door...

Wendy: *gasp... gasp...* That was a close one.

Larry: Totally. But now, I guess the closest room would be the meat locker. It should be next to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later...

Roy: We're here! Time to eat!

Iggy: Wait! Who's THAT?!

Iggy pointed to a slim ghost in antique clothing. He carried a small sword and had an arrogant look on his face.

Ghost: So good of you to notice me. Sir Waytoomanyruffles warned me that therewere some powerful warriors here.

Larry: No... SIR PETTY!

Petty: Yes, it is I. But this horrid place is no region for a battle. Meet me in the clock tower for our duel... IF you can leave this place alive... MWAHAHA!

Sir Petty shot something at the sides of beef. They jumped down from their meathooks and assumed fighting poses. The door locked and Sir Petty left via the ceiling.


Larry: GASP! I'm a vegetarian though!

The evil meat quickly leapt at Larry and started beating him up. Once he was on the ground, they started kicking him.

Larry: OOmph! Quit it! That's cheap!

Lemmy: We've gotta help out!

Suddenly a huge ribcage with meat all over it burst out of the wall and grabbed Lemmy.


Roy: Not to worry, I'll eat my way through!

Roy attempted to eat the ribcage, but suddenly a gang of leeks appeared.


Wendy: This is getting more and more absurd by the second! How are we supposed to defeat these… Wait a minute...

Wendy's attention was drawn to a giant hotdog grinder in the corner of the room.

Wendy: That's it! Larry, try to get beaten up in that direction!

Larry: I'll do what I -OOF- can.

Larry somehow managed to get all the sides of beef next to the meat grinder. Ludwig did a stomp attack, which knocked all of the cross club steak in. Larry and Wendy then grinded them into a giant hot dog, which Roy used to smack all of the garnishes away. While all this happened, Morton talked so quickly that the giant ribcage lost all consciousness and collapsed.

Lemmy: Wow, that was... elaborate. In any case, I found the Roadkill Key inside this guy. What was a giant hot dog grinder doing here, anyway?

In the clock tower...

Petty: ARGH! Ruffles, what did I tell you about putting that machine away once you fed the dog?

Waytoomanyruffles: Er...  Sorry, sir.

Petty: Ah, never mind. Just make sure that King Boo's sapped all the energy from Kamek before I begin my coup.

Back with the party...

Wendy: Okay, we should be near the roof right now.

Larry: Yeah, here's the elevator... Here we go.

The Koopalings and ghosts rose up to the roof. The Gargoyle Eye was in plain sight...


-attached to the ten-foot-high living, fire-breathing gargoyle.

Ludwig: I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

Gargantuan: RAWR! Thoust hast disturbed thy's sleep!

Lemmy: Why is your name Gargantuan if you’re a Gargoyle?

Gargantuan: SILENCE, YOU FOOL! Thoust cannot defeateth me, lest thee can solve my riddles three.

Ludwig: I thought riddles were for Sphinxes.

Gargantuan: RAWR!

The Gargoyle spit a fireball at Ludwig, who got burnt to a crisp.

Gargantuan: Three riddles each I ask of thee! I begin with the littlest Koopaling!

Bowser Jr. stepped forward.

Jr: I can easily beat your riddle set for me! I surf the Web!

Gargantuan: Very well then. Your first question:
Shnarg'flurf blranwo–


Gargantuan: Oh no! That's the answer! And I'm so old, I can only take one answer! YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE!

Gargantuan crumbled to dust, leaving the Eye rolling right next to Junior's foot.

Junior: Wow... That was anticlimactic.

Back at the clock tower...

Phantasmaniac 1: Wow, you actually got the keys? Very well then, you may pass.

The party entered the clock tower, only to meet up with... a generic Koopa?

Koopa: Hey! Can't you recognize me? It's me! Your most hated enemy, King Boo!

Lemmy: Um... You're a Koopa.

King Boo: NO! I'M KING BOO!

Sir Petty: No, you aren't.

King Boo: HUH?!

Sir Petty flung King Boo out a window.

Sir Petty: MWAHAHA! At last, after committing horrible crimes against half the ghosts in this place, I, Sir Petty, have ultimate control over the mansion! Fear me! Mwahaha!

Sir Petty took his sword and handed it to Waytoomanyruffles. He wrapped himself around it to form a huge, intimidating-looking scimitar.

Sir Petty: En guarde.

Petty sliced the top off the clock tower, revealing a bloody full moon. The door locked.

Iggy: Wow... This could have made the top ten boss fights on GameFAQS.

Kemek: I agree.

Lemmy: KAMEK! You're alive!

Kamek was indeed intact, just strapped to a cannon.

Kamek: Indeed. They have sapped all the energy out of me, however, and plan on firing me with the first shot of their new Ghost-O-Ray.

Petty: SILENCE, you servant! I shall not let any of you get in my way! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Petty suddenly sliced through the air at super speed and went right through Iggy.

Roy: Pfft. You're not even solid enough to hit a wimp like Iggy.

Iggy: I feel... duhhhhhhhhh...

Iggy fell on the floor and started nibbling his foot.

Lemmy: ... What the-

Petty: BWAHA! You have seen the powers of my sword! It can revert somebody back to infant intelligence! It is the Nincomkoop Blade!

Ludwig: ... I'll forget that name was mentioned.


Soon Ludwig, Lemmy, and Wendy were all crawling around the room.

Petty: MWAHAHA! You are no match for me!

Roy: We'll see about that! RAHHHH!

Roy charged at Sir Petty.

Petty: Huh.



Petty: WHAT? NO!


Waytoomanyruffles: It... was a pleasure... buttling... sir.

Petty: NO! You killed Waytoomanyruffles?! You... shall... PAY!

Sir Petty left for five minutes, then came back in a mechanical monstrosity.


Koopa Kid: I kinda expected something like this.

Jr: What, Roy's intellect not changing or the giant robot?

Koopa Kid: Both.

Mecha Luigi suddenly spawned 2 huge speakers from the side.

Petty: *through microphone)* Every boss fight needs affecting music.

[ ... &Letter=28

Jr: Nice selection.

Petty: Thank you. Now PERISH!

Mecha Luigi suddenly grew a missile launcher from his hand. It fired out huge fireballs. The rest of the Koopalings jumped out of the way, but Jr. tripped.


He got burnt black.

Petty: Brahahahah! Extra crispy fireball!

Another fireball was fired, but this time it was white hot.

Koopa Kid: OH NO!

Morton: That is bad, terrible, scary, terrifying, scorchi- HEY!

Koopa Kid picked up Morton while he was talking and shoved him into his shell with the tail sticking out.


Koopa Kid swung Morton while he was withdrawn and batted the fireball back at Mecha Luigi, which sparked, then opened at the mouth. Petty got thrown out.

Petty: OWVCH! ... Uh oh...

Koopa Kid started attacking Sir Petty.

Petty: WOWOWOWOWOW! I'm outta here!

Petty retreated back into his robot. This happened a few more times.

Petty: You little creeps! It appears that we shall have to change tactics.

The missile launcher went back into Mecha Luigi's hand.

Petty: Ah, delicious irony... Have a taste! Poltergust Attachments!

Two huge vacuums appeared from Mecha Luigi's palms and started drawing the Koopalings in.


CRASH! The door iwa smashed in.

Petty: What? How?!

As the dust cleared, Vruegan steps out, followed by Washer Brime, Dr. Crimsli, and Chef Boo-Ar-Dee.

Vruegan: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

Washer: It's time for revenge, Petty.

Sir Petty: No! My plan is perfect! You shall all be trapped for eternity!

Sir Petty turned the Poltergust Attachment on the ghosts. Vruegan pulled out an axe and sliced through the hand of the Mecha Luigi. It split in half.

Petty: Eep!

Vruegan: Thoust hast been pwned!

Washer threw a bucket at Petty, who got it stuck over his head.

Petty: GAH!

Next, Chef Boo-ar-dee snuck up and set him on fire.


Then Dr. Crimsli pulled a large syringe out of his sleeve and injected it into Petty's arm.

Petty: OW! What was that?

Crimsli: Oh, nothing, just 50 ml of ectoplasm paralysis fluid.

Before Petty could say anything he became as stiff as a board and fell to the ground. Ludwig took one of the Poltergust hands of Mecha Luigi and sucked Petty in.

Ludwig: YES! It's OVER!

Vruegan: Our revenge has been wreaked! At long last...

Koopa Kid: I'm so happy... I want to do the dancing Kirby! (>0_0)>

Roy: Let's get outta here.

They untied Kamek and started to leave, but Iggy stayed behind.

Jr: C'mon Iggy, let's get outta here.

Iggy: Just a sec... I wanna do something.

Jr: Suit yourself.

The Koopalings and the ghosts left. Iggy knelt down and investigated the remains of Mecha Luigi.

Iggy: That'd be cool if I could imitate it...

???: YESSSSS! I feel the POWUH!

Iggy: What?

A white-shelled Koopa Troopa suddenly floated up and flew through the window. It had red eyes and a ghostly tail.

King Boo: I CAN FEEL MY STRENGTH RETURN! Hello, Koopaling!

Iggy screamed and started to run as fast as he could. King Boo caught up and went inside his mouth.


Iggy fell down. Suddenly Wendy opened the door.

Wendy: IGGY! Hurry it up already! We're leaving!

Iggy slowly got up.

Iggy: Coming.

Wendy closed the door. Iggy's smile contorted and twisted into a malicious grin. His eyes glowed red.

Iggy: Hee hee... Don't they know that ghosts... can't... DIE?


Credit goes to Bk Sandwich, Maguskoopa, Freezy Toad, Hammer Bros, SmashWave, Kammy, Vyucs, Wisdom Booigi, and Daroach for writing, editing, suggesting, or in any way enhancing this story.

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