Wario's Apprentice

By Badyoyo

Wario: Before I start the show off, I just want to answer a question I've received. The reason I stopped making polls is because I've noticed that a lot of people went and just looked at the poll instead of focusing on the main attraction, so I am not making polls anymore. Anyway, last time on Wario's apprentice, I put seven people up to the test of making a commercial for a karaoke machine. Their magazine advertisement started off well and finished well, but with Wart as the commercial's star they lost the challenge. In a tight private talk it was down to Large Fry and Lakitu, who both did badly in the challenge. In the end, Large Fry was fired again for getting rid of Diamond City's best singer, Ashley, over Wart. This week, the competition is going to get even more intense as we reach toward the final five.
The Apartment, 7:00 AM
Biff Atlas is in his gym doing pull-ups.
Biff Atlas: HUPP HUPP!
Biff Atlas does 20 with ease.
The phone rings, Biff Atlas picks it up.
Biff Atlas: Hello?
Wario: Listen, this is Wario. I want you to meet me at Diamond City High in two hours.
Biff Atlas: Ok, sure thing.
Biff Atlas hangs up
110 minutes later…
Biff Atlas: Time to go.
Biff Atlas bangs on a gong, waking everyone up.
Biff Atlas: Let's get going, everyone! Ten minutes to reach Diamond City High.
The players take a nice, quick jog to Diamond City High, which is currently empty because it's summer break.
Wario: You are at Diamond City High, the school where most of my employees grew up or are still developing.
Lakitu: ZZZZZZZ.
Lakitu is sleeping, using Petey's Head for a pillow.
Wario: WAKE UP!
Geno shoots Lakitu with his finger gun.
Wario: Now pay attention!
Yoshi: Yoshi is!
Wario: I wasn't talking to you!
Biff Atlas: Can we have the challenge already?
Wario: Yes, you see, the Olympics are happening soon, and Sega has challenged us to a battle-
Birdo: That was two years ago!
Bandit: Or this year, if you count the Winter Olympics.
Birdo: That too!
Wario: Stop being idiots and let me speak! These are the 2012 Olympics we're talking about!
Everyone: Oh.
Wario: Anyway, your job is to get athletes.
Everyone groans.
Wario: Come on, it’s not so bad compared to the other challenges I put you through! Anyway, Sega has its team together.
Speed: Sonic, Shadow
Power: Knuckles, Eggman
Technique: Tails, Rouge
All Around: Amy, Blaze
Wario: Other than that idiot Eggman, that's their best athletes!
Lakitu: Then get your best athletes
Wario: Mario is busy making games, Luigi is too busy making a Luigi's Mansion 2, I'm too busy looking cool, Waluigi's too busy being Unified Tag Team champion, Peach is too weak, Daisy is too busy being captured by an alien, Yoshi is on this show, and Bowser isn't King Koopa anymore.
Geno: Then get the Winter lineup!
Wario: They all have excuses. Anyway, training is in three hours. Get eight great athletes.
Yoshi: Yoshi has gold medal in track relays. Can Yoshi be a part of the team?

Wario: No!
Birdo: Why do you have to be so mean to Yoshi?
Wario: Be quiet before I fire you both. You go find eight people who can beat Sega at anything!
Bandit: Who’s the team leader this episode?
Wario: I’m going with Biff Atlas this time. What's the team name that nobody cares about?
Biff Atlas: Huh?
Lakitu: Petey...
Petey facepalms
Lakitu: Thank you
Wario: Huh it is. Now don’t destroy Nintendo’s chances, and get the greatest athletes you can find!
Biff Atlas: We have three hours to do this, right?
Wario: No, you have 2 hours and 50 minutes, NOW GET GOING!
Huh runs out into Diamond City.
The team find 2 men at a bus stop.
Geno: I think we could win this one.
Lakitu: Hey, any of you good athletes?
Guy: No
Birdo: What about you?
Other Guy: No.
Birdo: Grrrr.
Lakitu: Is everyone in Diamond City Lazy and/or rich?
Huh walk around and find 2 more people, named Snicker (the best pitcher in all of Diamond City) and Anonymous (that football player in WarioWare Smooth Moves that had a crush on Mona).
Biff Atlas: You two want to be in the Olympics?
Anonymous:  I do, but my heart won't let me.
Biff Atlas: Cue the cliché sad music.
Anonymous: Shut up!
Anonymous runs away from Huh
Bandit: Forget him, how about you, Snicker?
Biff Atlas: Want to join the Olympics against Sega and finally shut them up?
Snicker: What's a pitcher going to be able to do in the Olympics?
Geno: Your throwing abilities is ten times better than Sega's!
Lakitu: We need people who can win anything against Sega.
Snicker: Sure, I'm in.
For the rest of their first hour Huh walk around the business part of Diamond City, finding only business owners and lawyers.
Geno: Ok, it's obvious Wario has us hanging around the wrong part of town.
Lakitu: I have an idea.
Geno: Not now! How about we go to the beach? There should be good surfers, swimmers, volleyball players, and body builders.
Lakitu: Fine. (muttering) And I had a good plan, too.
Huh walk to the beach. There, they find a muscle-bound Boomerang Bro with an Austrian accent throwing a boomerang.
Geno: Who are you?
Boomerang Bro: I'm Arnold Boomeranger.
Geno: ... Oh dear DAD.
Arnold: So what do you puny insects want?
Geno: We're looking for people to fight against Sega in the 2012 Olympics.
Arnold: Well you've come to the right place, me and my giant lovely muscles will pulverize anyone with Sega. I'll do it on one condition though, I want to fight that fighting freak, Knuckles.
Geno: Deal!
Lakitu: Now can I make a suggestion?
Bandit: No time! We're on a roll!
Geno: Bandit! Shush!
Bandit: Why?
Lakitu: Because every time someone gets cocky, they end up losing.
Geno: Why are we talking about people getting eliminated again?
Birdo: So I can admire Yoshi off camera... which is now on me,
Yoshi: Isn’t Huh supposed to get athletes?
Geno: Wait! I have an idea!
Geno turns to a cameraman.
Cameraman: What?
Geno: I want you to join the Olympics!
Cameraman: Are you crazy?
Geno: You're a Sledge Bro! A massive, powerful, unstoppable machine of pure power! You'd be perfect for the Olympics!
Cameraman: Uh...
Geno: Haven't you ever wanted to be acknowledged without having to point a camera at a mirror just so the world can see what you look like?
Cameraman: … I'll do it!
Geno: Good.
Arnold: I don't see why we need him on the team. Me and my deliciously powerful muscles is all you need.
Biff Atlas: (sarcastically) Yeah, sure.
Lakitu: Can I make my suggestion now?
Geno: (ignoring Lakitu) Let’s go to the capital of Diamond City. I'm sure we can find some strong bodyguard.
Lakitu has Petey facepalm for him again, and follows the rest of Huh to the capital. There they find two bouncers.
Geno: Hey, you guys ever wanted to crush Sega in the Olympics?
Bouncer 1: Sure!
Geno: This is easier than beating Sorbetti in Super Mario Galaxy 2!
Bouncer 1: Can my pal join in as well?
Geno: Your pal?
Bouncer 2: Look, I'm not going, Larry, Mr. Mayor’s put us in charge of defending this capital for a reason, and it’s not for a chance. It's to defend this great city from turning into an economic wasteland like Desert Land and Grass Land. Curse this economy.
Yoshi: Team doing this to defeat the company that rivals us. If team defeat them then team is free to control videogame world and economy
Birdo:  Plus the Olympics won' t happen for another two years. You just have to show up for one practice and beat a Sega character.
Yoshi: You want Nintendo to lose money to blue hedgehog?
Bouncer 2: … *sigh* … Fine.
Lakitu: Hooray!
Geno: Okay, we got Snicker, Arnold Boomeranger, a cameraman, and two bouncers. We need three more.
Lakitu: If I could make a suggestion…
Geno: NO!
Lakitu: All right, all right, I'll shut up.
Geno: Now where do I find three good athletes?
Lakitu: Where do WE find three good athletes?
Geno: That's what I said.
Lakitu: No you didn't. You've been focusing only on yourself for quite some time now.
Geno: What? Just because Biff Atlas over here is being quiet and I'm being resourceful makes me focus this all around myself?
Lakitu: Dude, since episode one you've been barely working with an actual group. You’re always by yourself or with just one other person. And when you do work with a group, it ends up losing.
Geno: It's true that I have been working in a more isolated area than anyone else, but the people I work with are the good ones. When I worked with Birdo, we won; when I worked with Bandit, we won; when I worked with Lemmy, we lost.
Lakitu: Don't I recall you making a doll based off YOURSELF in the toy-making episode?
Geno: Don't I recall my team WINNING because of that idea?
Lakitu: Stop being a dictator and let Biff Atlas lead.
Geno: He can lead when he feels like it.
Lakitu: He's barely getting a chance to speak! In fact, I'm starting to forget who the team leader is!
While Lakitu and Geno argue for a long 30 minutes, the rest of Huh are watching with very curious eyes, wondering who'll win it. Until Birdo gets bored. Splat!
Geno: OW!
Lakitu: You deserved that.
Birdo: Shut up! We spent a half hour listening to you two argue, we're due at the training stadium in an hour!
Lakitu: Fine, let's go find athletes.
Biff Atlas: And I know just where to start.
Geno: Where?
Biff Atlas: Follow me!
Biff Atlas leads Huh to an alley. Biff Atlas picks up a box for no real reason. He then shakes it up. Shy Guy (from this show) falls out.
Shy Guy: What the %$*()$# do you idiots want?
Geno: We want you to join us in the 2012 Olympics.
Yoshi: It's to defeat Sega once and for all.
Shy Guy: ... Hmm... Fine.
Geno: All right, and we need two people.
Bandit: We may actually win a challenge!
Biff Atlas: And I know where to go next!
Biff Atlas warps Huh to Luigi's Mansion; they enter.
Biff Atlas: I think it's time my nephew played his first game.
Biff Atlas and Huh walk through a hallway to Chauncey's Room, then open the door.
Chauncey: WAAAAAAAH!
Biff Atlas puts a pacifier in Chauncey's mouth and puts him in a stroller, and they warp back to Diamond City.
Biff Atlas: See, easy as pie.
For the next thirty minutes, Huh cannot find another athlete to fight Sega.
Geno: Where is everyone?
Lakitu: Can I make a suggestion?!
Geno: Shut up! And actually help!
Lakitu: ... *sigh* Fine.
Huh start running around for that last player. They forgot that it is Sunday afternoon and
everyone is praying to DAD for success in business. At one point, they run past Mona Pizza, and the cameraman spots Wario and Mona inside. He decides to take a peek inside. (with a camera, of course).
Wario: All right, listen. Through some... technical terms. I want you to rejoin WarioWare.
Mona: Listen, Wario, and I'm not an idiot.
Wario: Of course you aren't, all I'm saying is-
Mona: I saw last episode...
Wario: Oh... that...
Wario tries to look cool and care nothing about it, but if you look into his beady little eyes, you'd see a man just ready to burst into tears. Mona, of course, does.
Mona: Listen... Wario, it's okay.
Wario: I still can't believe she would do that to me.
Mona: Everyone does that to someone at some point. I mean, look at Mario and Captain Syrup.
Just the mere mention of Wario's archrivals makes him so angry, he prepares another earthquake punch. But Mona stops him just in time.
Mona: Listen, shhh shhh, it's okay. You don't have to care about them ever again... Here, let me a buy you a Mona Special.
Wario: Okay... It better be Meat Lovers with Garlic.
Mona: It always is.
A few minutes later Mona comes back with a pizza; Wario almost immediately starts gobbling it down.
Wario: You see *burp*, this is why I like you so much. You're a good cook.
Mona: (Wario likes me! *girly squeal* I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach.)
Wario farts.
Mona: ... By the way... on your way back to the office, want to rob a bank of two?
Wario: Mona, you read me like a book.
Both get out of their chairs, go into the bathrooms, and transform into Wario-man and Mona-man... woman... whatever. (I don't know, it's just Mona in a Wario-man suit.)
Bandit: Yo, camera guy! Where are you?!
Cameraman: Right over here, Yoshi.
Birdo: We've been looking everywhere for you. We have ten minutes left, and we still can't find somebody!
Bandit: This is hopeless. We almost had this challenge in the bag.
Lakitu: Can-
Birdo: Lakitu, shut up!
Yoshi: Wait! Yoshi want to hear idea.
Lakitu: Make Petey one of the athletes.
Petey: Hi.
Bandit: He can't play!
Lakitu: Actually, he can. He's not planning to be Wario's apprentice. He's not a contestant, I say he should play.
Geno: Well, since we can't find anyone else, we might as well let Petey join.
Lakitu: Yes!
Biff Atlas: To the stadium!

Diamond City All Around Gym.

Huh get into the DCAAG seeing Team Sega and Wario with Mona.
Wario: Hmmm, you're five minutes early. Well, I was going to give you 30 minutes, but thanks to this, you can train them for 35 minutes. Everyone is going to go one on one with a member of Team Sega. The winner of events will get a bronze star. I want you guys to make Sega feel miserable, so get me five bronze stars if Biff Atlas wants any hope of getting immunity next episode.
Biff Atlas: Okay, looks like we need to start training!
Biff Atlas blows a whistle.
Biff Atlas: YOU EIGHT! TO THE TRACK! Now cue the music!

The Rocky theme plays. All eight of the athletes start running around the track in slow motion (thank you, video editing). Arnold, of course, is doing better than anyone else, The cameraman is trying to run and hold the camera at the same time, Chauncey is doing surprisingly well for a ghost baby, the bouncers are fast, Snicker is surprisingly slower than some, Petey is by far the slowest, and Shy Guy is in the middle.
Biff Atlas (slow motion): Drop and give me twenty!
The athletes do twenty push ups at the same time and speed, except for Arnold, who finishes all twenty in ten seconds, and Petey, who can't do one.
Biff Atlas (slow motion): Jump on that trampoline!

The athletes jump; this is the only event Arnold is bad at, while Snicker is very good at it. The cameraman gets motion sickness and gives up early (sooner than Arnold, who justs flopps around before giving up). Petey is also doing well getting a lot of good air time, while the bouncers are simply jumping and flipping. Chauncey also gets good air time; in fact, he never comes down. Shy Guy is once again in the middle of the performances.
Time’s up, and Biff Atlas looks at a list.
Biff Atlas: Okay, here's our competitors.
Biff Atlas hands the list of players over to Wario.

Chauncey vs. Sonic in a 100 meter race
Bouncer 1 vs. Shadow in a 100 meter race
Arnold Boomeranger vs. Knuckles in a Thwomp Lifting Contest
Cameraman vs. Eggman in a Hammer Toss Contest.
Snicker vs. Rouge in a Trampoline Gymnastics Contest
Petey Piranha vs. Tails in a Long Jump Contest
Bouncer 2 vs. Amy in a 100 Meter Swimming Contest
Shy Guy vs. Blaze in a Fencing Contest
Wario: All right, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Kamek pops out of nowhere behind an announcers table.
Kamek: Hello, and welcome, everyone, to the training of the 2012 Olympics! Nintendo vs. Sega once again, ladies and gentlemen! Sega has barely made any changes to this year's bracket, however Nintendo has an entire new array of athletes to take on Sega! Now let's on to the first event! Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Chauncey the ghost.
While Sonic is preparing, Bandit is "cleaning" Sonic's shoes. When the event is about to begin, Chauncey and Sonic both go to the starting line. Bandit gives Sonic his "shoes".
Toad: On your mark! Get set! GO!
Kamek: Sonic trips and lands on his face as Chauncey sprints off!
Sonic: What the?
Sonic sees that Bandit has switched his speed shoes with his slow down shoes from a terrible Sonic game that will not be mentioned. Chauncey is already close to the finish line.
Sonic: All right then.
Sonic spin dashes, and is now moving much quicker than Chauncey. They pass the finish line at the same time.
Kamek: It's a photo finish! Soon we will see a slow motion replay.

A frame by frame replay of the very end of the race shows that Chauncey's pacifier crossed the finish line before Sonic did.
Kamek: Nintendo gets a bronze star!
Biff Atlas: Way to go, my nephew!
Chauncey: Goo!
Kamek: Time for the second event, even though it's the exact same thing as the first. Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Larry the Bouncer.
Shadow: Hmmph.
Bouncer 1: This will be a piece of cake.
Shadow and Bouncer 1 get into position.
Toad: On your mark! Get set! GO!
Unlike Sonic, Shadow gets a good start, as does Bouncer 1. They both move at a quick pace, but Bouncer 1 begins to tire, and Shadow crosses the finish line first.
Kamek: Sega gets a bronze star.
Shadow: Hmmph Perfect.
Sonic: Woo! Highfive!
Shadow just stares at Sonic.
Meanwhile with Arnold and Knuckles…
Arnold: Me and my glorious muscles are going to teach three lessons. Lesson one: biceps; lesson two: triceps; and lesson three: quadriceps.
Knuckles: Heh, fists always do the talking here, bub!
Arnold: We will see, puny gerbil.
Kamek: And the third event is underway! Knuckles vs. Arnold Boomeranger!
Arnold and Knuckles pick up 20 Thwomps.
Kamek: Twenty! That's a new record, beating the old record of 15!

After an hour, both are still hanging in.
Kamek: And the imaginary crowd goes wild...
Kamek falls asleep on the announcers table as do Huh and the other competitors other than Biff Atlas, Arnold, and Knuckles. While no one is looking, Biff Atlas floats into the ground, comes up behind Knuckles, and pulls his tail.
Knuckles: YOWCH!
Knuckles falls on his butt, and all twenty Thwomps fall on him, waking everyone up. Biff Atlas then teleports to his team before anyone notices him.
Kamek: Knuckles has dropped the Thwomps! Nintendo gets a bronze star!
Arnold: I predicted it would be a shorter win, but my muscles do it again.
Kamek: The fourth event is coming up! Dr. Ivo Eggman Robotnik vs... a cameraman.
Wario goes to the cameraman.
Wario: Listen, I want you to win this. I absolutely hate Eggman, and if he wins, I'll never hear the end of it.
Cameraman: I don't know what I can do, you paid to tape this show.
Wario snatches the camera.
Wario: There! Now you can use both hands!
Cameraman: Okay, Wario, I will not fail you.
Kamek: Eggman is beginning to spin around with that hammer. He lets go and it lands a measly 56 feet away from the starting place! Let's see what the cameraman can do to that.
The cameraman picks up the hammer, starts spinning around, and lets go.
Kamek: It's going! It's going! ... It lands 654 feet from the starting place! Nintendo gets a third bronze star!
Eggman: What?!
Wario: WAHAHA!
Cameraman: Can I have my camera back now?
Wario: What? Oh yeah, sure.
Wario gives the camera back to the cameraman and continues to laugh at Eggman.
Kamek: Oh, how I love personal rivalries with Sega. Like how I hate that stupid Omachao! But now we have Rouge the Bat vs. Snicker the Baseball Pitcher in a trampoline contest! Rouge, you go first! I'll be your judge!
Rouge stays up in the air thanks to her wings and does a bunch of cute poses to amuse the judge. She ends it by putting her leg behind her head and bouncing on one leg.
Kamek: Hmmmm, I would give that an 8.9 out of ten, since you barely used the trampoline. But it was very impressive! It is now Snicker's turn.
Snicker begins jumping easily, doing simple flips to get a lot of air. He then pulls out some baseballs and starts throwing them at the trampoline, they bounce in a simultaneous order. Snicker then walks/hops on the bouncing baseballs, then he makes a pile of four balls and starts balancing on them. He then shifts his weight to make the baseball at the bottom bounce to the top. He does this again and starts juggling the balls until he is balancing on one ball and juggling three. He ends his act by throwing the baseballs down, doing a double flip and catching all of them. Kamek is in awe.
Kamek: Ten out of ten! Ten out of ten! This is the best act I've ever seen! Nintendo gets their fourth bronze star!
Biff Atlas: Yes! One more and we win the challenge! You’d better hope Petey wins the challenge.
Lakitu: Oh, he will, Biff Atlas. He will.
Kamek: And now it is time for the sixth event! Tails Miles Prower vs. Petey Pirahna in a long jump contest!
Petey: I will not fail you, Master!
Kamek: Petey makes the jump and starts fluttering with his leafs. Those leaves seem to be extremely strong, because Petey is breaking world records!
Petey: Ha ha! ...*pant, pant*
Kamek: Petey seems to be weakening... yes, he's stopped around the 100 yard marker! Try to beat that, Humans! Tails is making his way.
Tails: Let's see how I should do this.
Kamek: Tails jumps and flies off into the air! I must say that is the highest jump I've ever seen... wait! He's coming down! ... Like a comet!

Kamek: *cough, cough* The smoke seems to be clearing... *cough* ... It seems that Tails has... no way! Tails has just completed a 274-yard jump! Sega wins a bronze star!

Petey walks to Lakitu in shame.
Petey: I'm sorry, Master.
Lakitu: It's okay, Petey. Besides, we have four bronze stars, we should be safe.
Biff Atlas: Ten of my pearls, you just jinxed us!
Kamek: Gambling is always a fun way to raise the stakes! But here is the next! Amy Rose vs. Bob The Bouncer in swimming.
Amy and Bouncer 2 get into position.
Toad: On your mark! Get set! Go!
Kamek: Amy and Bob jump down into the water, but it's all Amy! Bob's bouncer outfit is holding him back; by the time Amy is done, Bob is only halfway! Sega gets its fourth bronze star!
Amy gets out of the water and Sonic hugs her. Bouncer 2 gets out and heads toward an annoyed Huh.
Biff Atlas: Well, Shy Guy, you have to beat Blaze at fencing if you want Huh to win.
Shy Guy: I will make sure she doesn't strike me once.
Kamek: And it's time for the final training event for today! Blaze the Cat vs. Shy Guy in a fencing contest!
Shy Guy and Blaze enter the arena, bow, and begin to joust.
Kamek: It's 15 jabs to the winner and that last bronze star, folks! What will happen?
Blaze: Wooyah!
Shy Guy: Yikes!
Blaze trips up Shy Guy and jabs him 15 times.
Kamek: Wow, that was quick. Sega gets their fifth bronze star.
Huh are disappointed in themselves. Biff Atlas is punching the floor at how close he was like the last time he was team leader. He knows he's going have to face the wrath of his maybe future boss.
Wario: You guys lost AGAIN! *sigh* Just get in the warp pipe out here.
The warp pipe appears, Wario, Mona, and Huh get in it.
Wario's Office
Wario is in awesome seat, glaring at the people who have a 1 in 6 chance of getting fired. Mona sits down next to him, carrying large sacks of coins that they stole from a bank. Huh sit in their seats with their heads down.
Wario: Well, let's get to the chase. You guys lost, the window of opportunity is near nothing for you guys. You must REALLY impress me in these next few episodes, or else it will end it terror for five of you. Biff Atlas, where did you guys go wrong?
Biff Atlas: ... I'm not really sure.
Wario: Let me tell you what I think went wrong. Ahem, you were on the sidelines too much, Birdo kept agreeing with Yoshi, Yoshi was the only one who did slightly well recruiting BAD athletes, Bandit was on the sidelines as well but as least did impressive things, Geno argued with Lakitu and wasted valuable time, and Lakitu choose Petey as an athlete.
Biff Atlas: I must admit that I was on the sidelines for a good chunk of this mission.
Wario: Honesty is good karma, and a pathway to bad results, Biff Atlas. Birdo, other than usually take Yoshi's side, what did you do?
Birdo: I broke up the fight between Lakitu and Geno.
Wario: True. Speaking of Geno, why did you have that fight with Lakitu?
Geno: He didn't admire my awesomeness.
Wario: Geno, let me tell you something... you're not awesome. No one on this show is awesome until proven. You, my maybe future apprentice, have yet to prove it, and the only reason you're still on this show is that you haven't been sent up for a private talk for quite some time. I'd watch your mouth.
Geno: Yes, Wario.
Wario: Lakitu! Why did you suggest Petey to be an athlete?!
Lakitu: Well, we were almost out of time and would've automatically forfeited if we showed with seven athletes, plus in most sports games Petey's proven to be a great athlete. In fact, he once was on your baseball team.
Wario: True, but you would've had more time if you hadn't had that argument with Geno.
Lakitu: I agree with that.
Wario: Then you shouldn't have done it! Dear DAD you're an idiot! Yoshi, why did you try to get bouncers?
Yoshi: Bouncers are tough guys, team needed tough guys!
Wario: You already had a cameraman and Arnold Boomeranger, why would you want another tough person?
Yoshi: Oh... Yoshi didn't think of that.
Wario: Obviously. Bandit, until the end you did little to nothing. So I'm just going to ask who you would fire.
Bandit: Yoshi, as he contributed almost nothing to the team.
Wario: Yoshi?
Yoshi: Yoshi would fire Biff Atlas
Wario: Birdo?
Birdo: Hmmmm, I would probably fire Lakitu. It's a tie with Biff Atlas, but at least Biff Atlas gave us Chauncey.
Wario: Lakitu?
Lakitu: Well, probably Biff Atlas, I mean he's the one who made the list for the athletes to fight. I personally would've chosen Chauncey at fencing so he wouldn't get hit, have Bouncer 2 race and that would've been a loss, and I would have Petey swim since that's his specialty. With our two power wins, one trampoline win, and the two changed wins, he could've won five stars.
Wario: Geno?
Geno: I would fire Lakitu, because he made a problem massive when he kept it until the end. Also if he didn't argue with me, we could've found someone better than Petey, like a Paratroopa or another Lakitu, since they fly all the time.
Wario: All right, Biff Atlas, which two players are you going to take to have a private talk with me?
Biff Atlas: Yoshi and Lakitu.
Wario: All right. Petey, go back to the apartment, I'll send you an Email if Lakitu is fired. The rest of you have secured a place in the final five.
Bandit, Birdo, and Geno hop into a warp pipe.
Wario: I want to have a little talk with you three.
Wario leads the 3 couch potatoes to the top floor, where one of them will be for the last time.
Wario: Now that we're alone, Biff Atlas, why shouldn't I fire you?
Biff Atlas: If I wasn't team leader then we might not have even gotten those three others, and while Geno got a lot of good players, I also got Chauncey on the team.
Wario: Yes, but you also got Shy Guy.
Biff Atlas: I thought being a gang leader around the world would help us win.
Wario: But why did you place him in fencing? Or anywhere?
Biff Atlas: Well, did you want the episode to end in a forfeit?

Wario: No, however you caused major problems with that list, and training the athletes too much.
Biff Atlas: Yes, but I wanted to make sure I was right on the assignments.
Wario: Then you're just saying you're a giant idiot! DAD!
Biff Atlas: Hey! In the very beginning you said you wanted someone who can take out thugs and the kind of guy for you-
Wario: I also said I wanted someone who can figure out what stocks are worth these days; you probably don’t understand the difference between a stock and a bond. Now be quiet! Lakitu, why shouldn’t I fire you?
Lakitu: Because we wouldn’t have been able to use Petey and therefore would have had to forfeit.
Wario: Yes, but you also had an entirely pointless fight with Geno. You might've had time.
Lakitu: Yes, but I think that motivated Biff Atlas to be a leader. He was on the sidelines a lot of the challenge.
Wario: Answer me this. You kept wanting Petey to be an athlete for the entire challenge, why didn't you give up?
Lakitu: Because Petey was jumping against a two-tailed fox that can fly higher than anyone else. He has weaknesses, but if you put him in water, like a pool, then he can absolutely dominate. Besides, he was always there when you needed him in Mario Baseball.
Wario: True. Yoshi, why shouldn't I fire you?
Yoshi: Yoshi actually got people to join!
Wario: Yes, but they ended up just blatantly being stupid, and costing you, when you could've got someone better.
Yoshi: Plan wasn't Yoshi's idea, plan to go to capital was Geno's.
Wario: True... Hmm... I think I've come to a decision
Wario examines all three.
Wario: Biff Atlas, you are a bad team leader. You had few ideas this round, and at one point I said you probably won't win the game.
Biff Atlas: But if you look at my ideas, I came up with great ways. I always was a great supporter, I just had a bad day.
Wario: Shut up! Lakitu, you caused a fight that cost your team valuable time. You've been slipping in your challenge roles, but you are a talker, and you could've had a point in the challenge, where you were great.
Wario turns to Yoshi.
Wario: Yoshi, you convinced the wrong crowd to join you. That REALLY cost your team, and that is why you're-
Yoshi: Fired?
Wario: Yep. Biff Atlas, Lakitu, you're dismissed.
Biff Atlas and Lakitu leave.
Wario: Yoshi, even if the plan wasn't your fault, you still went along with it. A wise old man once said, "Who's more foolish? The fool? Or the fool that follows him?" My answer to that is "the fool that follows him". You, Yoshi, fell into that role, and cost yourself a job with me. So... OUT OF MY BUILDING!
Yoshi walks up the stairs into the Cheep Cheep blimp.
Yoshi: Guess Yoshi has to learn to be a follower more than a leader. Yoshi hopes to join Wario some other day, but now, Yoshi wishes hugs and kisses to Birdo. And Yoshi wishes her luck.
Wario makes sure the camera isn't looking, and takes out the famous yellow and red book. The camera is, of course, looking from right behind Wario, and finally sees that it is a scrapbook of Wario and Mona's "happy moments".
Wario: *sigh* For once, I have to thank you, Biff Atlas.
Wario knows the camera has been behind him the whole time. He then gives the cameraman a nice, good kick to the shin. The cameraman falls down. Wario picks up the camera and starts to film on his own
Wario: For once, I'm going to do the narrator's job... Ahem, one job, now five people working for it, my search for an apprentice... continues... See? Now that's the way to film the ending line... What do you mean the camera's still on? ... Oh, what button do I press again? ... Oh this one-
The screen turns dark.

To Be Continued...

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