Bandit, Hotel Owner: I will do anything to win, I will make fake alliances, I will cheat secretly if I have to, nothing is going to stop me.
Biff Atlas, Gym Owner: I'm strong, and I have brains. Ever since I was beaten in Luigi's Mansion, I’ve made gyms for Boos and other ghosts, without punching bags of course. I can do whatever I want, my enemies fear me!
Wario: Who would've thought that the first two contestants shown would be in the final two... ME! Wario! That's right! Anyway. Welcome to the Season Finale of Wario's Apprentice, where over15 long days I've fired 15 contestants from the game. Whether it be stupid chefs, idiotic toymakers, or lazy gravediggers, they didn't have what it takes to join me at WarioWare. So it's down to two, two people who've been on the same team since the very beginning. Bandit, the hotel owner and one of the sneakiest players in the game, vs. Biff Atlas, the gym owner who's spooked his way into the final two. Here it is, the finale you've been all waiting for, right here! ... RIGHT NOW!
The Apartment, Noon:
Biff Atlas and Bandit have been filled with adrenaline, waiting for that phone to ring. After a while it does and Biff Atlas immediately picks it up.
Biff Atlas: Hello?
Wario: It's time.
Biff Atlas nods and hangs up. He and Bandit leave the apartment, get into the cab, walk into the doors of WarioWare, and walk into their maybe future boss' office, where they sit in their chairs. And to make it epic as ever, they do this all in Movie Star Slow Motion. Wario and Mona get into their seats in slow motion as well.
Wario: Well, today is the day, boys. By the end of today, one of you will be my apprentice, and this reader will be happily done reading this story. 17 people have stepped up, and 15 people have either humiliated themselves, injured themselves, or just plain out stunk and faced my judgments! Speaking of the losers, let's see what's happened to our fellow losers ever since they got kicked off.
Wario turns on a giant TV screen, showing a garbage dump with Large Fry in it.
Large Fry: Hello, everyone. Life has pretty much been the same since we left. I still cook for rats, they pay me in slightly fresh fruit and a tiny bit of medication for Cackletta's healthcare... Cackletta, why don't you say hi...? HONEY, say HI!
A bony Cackletta hand pops out of the garbage and waves. Wario changes the channel to a jail cell with Shy Guy in it.
Shy Guy: Well well well, if it isn't the guys who humiliated me and got me thrown in the big house?! I was found by the cops and they threw me in here just because I attacked famous people, how stupid! Thanks a lot, you *)%_#*()#$*9034&#$)(! Once I get my hands on you I'll $)#*$)(#*#$ you until #()$*#()&$#(&$_#( bleed out of your (#)*#$()&#()$#& then I'll $#(#*#)$#*)(*#$*$)_!
Wario changes the channel to Bully's house.
Bully: Oh, hey everyone, I've just finished my latest masterpiece. It's called "The Destruction of Diamond City". What do you guys think?
Bully draws a picture of Biff Atlas, Bandit, and Wario hovering over Diamond City. Then Wario changes the channel, not liking being insulted.
Wario: Now, Waluigi had nothing to say. But I think the following clip will show you his current position.
Wario shows a clip of the Glitz Pit. Peach and Waluigi are in a wrestling ring as Daisy and Kind Dedede are at ringside. Peach throws Waluigi to his belly, takes his legs and makes a heart out of them, then sits on them. Waluigi cannot take the pain and taps out. A bell rings.
Announcer: Here are your winners! And the NEW! Unified Tag Team champions! Peach and Daisy! THE PRINCESSES!
Waluigi's tag team belts are handed to Peach and Daisy as King DeDeDe smacks him with his hammer for losing the match. Wario then changes the channel to Bowser in a diaper fanning Lord Ludwig.
Ludwig: You see, my servant can't speak to you right now. He's much too busy fanning my cranium thanks to sweltering Dark Land heat. He was a gullible fool and now, Ludwig is the ruler of all Koopas! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wario changes the channel to an insane asylum with Fawful being dragged down a hallway in a straitjacket.
Fawful: I swear I'm sane! I've changed since my last videogame! Do you not watch Wario's Apprentice?! Nooo!
Fawful gets tossed into a padded room. Wario changes the channel to a young human sitting at his computer.
Wario: What the?
The human is startled by Wario's voice. He looks at the camera, then panics and runs into his closet, then comes out backwards wearing a Lemmy Koopa costume.
Human: Uh, hi guys. It's me, Lemmy.
Wario: No you're not! You're been some human in a Lemmy Koopa costume this whole time! ... My life has been a lie! WAAAH!
Wario changes the channel to another wrestling ring, this time with Goomba King in it and a pale white Irishman with flaming red hair.
Wario: Once again, self explanatory.
The Irishman kicks Goomba King in the head, then pins him. Wario changes the channel again, this time to Booster, who's right outside a riot.
Booster: Listen up, guys! Me and my adoring fans are about to storm your building and take back that job that is rightfully mine! Now give it up peacefully, or prepare for battle!
Wario: *yawn* Send out the pit bulls.
Some literal bulls fly out of the sky and attack Booster and the crowd. Wario changes the channel to Snifit 3, who is directing his show.
Snifit 3: Um... Hi guys... um... I'm currently working on Season 4 on my show right now... um... That's all.
Wario: Well that was boring.
Wario changes the channel, this time we see Yoshi and Birdo on a couch.
Birdo: Oh, uh, hi guys. Well apparently Yoshi thinks I went overboard in the episode I got eliminated and now we're in relationship-counseling so I can show how much I love him.
Yoshi: What is love?
Birdo takes out a frying pan.
Yoshi: Baby don't hurt me!
Birdo whacks Yoshi with the frying pan.
Yoshi: Baby don't hurt me! No more!
Birdo keeps whacking Yoshi to the beat of the song we're referencing and Wario changes the channel to Geno, still tied to the truck with Mallow, Snifit 1 and Snifit 2.
Geno: Uh... hi guys... I'm a little tied up here.
Geno: All right, this life stinks.
Geno: I'm tied to a garbage truck, I don't even need to say anythin-
A fly flies into Geno's mouth, making him stop talking.
Wario: And finally…
Wario changes the channel to a mad scientist’s lab with Lakitu and Petey.
Lakitu: Now, Petey. PULL THE SWITCH!
Petey: Yes, Master.
Petey pulls a giant lever, making a giant monster that I can only describe like this: imagine Bouldergeist having legs and feet, and have him covered in dead Gloomba skin... Either way the creature rises.
Lakitu: It's alive... IT'S ALIVE!
The monster starts to destroy his restraints and attack Petey and Lakitu.
Lakitu: Maybe... I shouldn't have put the brain of a Bob-omb into his head.
Wario turns off the TV.
Wario: Well, I hope you had fun because the fun is over now! It's time to get serious for your final task. Are you both ready to know what it is?
Bandit and Biff Atlas nod.
Wario: Your final task is... MAKING A WARIOWARE MICROGAME!
Wario opens a red curtain to reveal one of his classic "Gold Digger" microgames.
Wario: That's right. Today, you will conquer the ultimate feat, the thing you must do almost everyday in my company. If you can't do this task then I don't know you! It will be like WarioWare DIY. So that prize I gave you two will help you. It's your standard test. Give me a good background, good music, good characters, and good AI. I will judge the final microgames when they are completed. You have all the time in the world to make these. And to pity you guys, I'll even give you your own staff. You guys are going to choose three losers to join you on this task. Biff Atlas, since you actually worked to get into this spot, you choose first.
Biff Atlas: I choose... Geno!
A warp pipe appears and Geno flies out.
Geno: Thank DAD! You called me in.
Wario: Bandit, your turn.
Bandit: Hmm... Snifit 3!
Another warp pipe appears and Snifit 3 flies out.
Snifit 3: Um... Where am I?
Wario: Bandit will explain it to you. Biff Atlas, choose.
Biff Atlas: ... Goomba King!
A big warp pipe appears and Goomba King walks out of it.
Bandit: I shall have Waluigi be on my team!
Waluigi starts dancing out of a warp pipe.
Wario: Biff Atlas, choose your final workmate.
Biff Atlas: ... I will have to take Lakitu.
Lakitu (without Petey) flies out of a warp pipe.
Wario: And Bandit, who else will join your team?
Bandit: Well... I think Lord Bowser needs at least one more appearance on the show.
Bowser walks out of another warp pipe.
Wario: All right everyone, you've got your teams. Now make me something that I will look back on and say "That was my apprentice's work."
Biff Atlas's Team:
Biff Atlas: All right, time to show Wario why we deserved to be his apprentices! Lakitu, you work on the background!
Lakitu: Yes sir!
Biff Atlas: Goomba King! You will prepare the music!
Goomba King: I will not fail you this time!
Biff Atlas: Geno! You will make the AI while I will create the characters!
Biff Atlas: What... did... you... just say?!
Geno: I say pass. I'm not doing this work. You got me fired.
Biff Atlas picks up Geno by his shirt collar.
Biff Atlas: Listen, punk. If you screw this up, I'm going to do worse things than get you fired.
Geno: You can't hurt me.
Biff Atlas throws Geno into a wall.
Geno: ... Ow... I'll work.
Biff Atlas: You’d better! I am not going to lose when I am so close to winning this game now! So everyone gather around while I give you all the scoop!
Biff Atlas's team huddles.
Biff Atlas: Ok team, we're going to make a microgame starring my nephew Chauncey, and you're going to try to put a pacifier in his crying mouth, okay?
Biff Atlas's Team: Got it.
Biff Atlas: Break!
Bandit: All right, I have experience doing this kind of stuff. We're going to steal ourselves another victory! So Snifit 3, you're doing background.
Snifit 3: Um... why?
Bandit: Because you're useless everywhere else. Now be quiet. Waluigi, you do music.
Waluigi: Waluigi record players Number 1!
Bandit: And Bowser, you will create the characters! I will handle the AI! Now gather for your mission briefing.
Bandit's team forms a semicircle.
Bandit: We're going to make a microgame where Wario lands on Mario and squashes him flat! Wario will love us for that! Everyone understand their duties?
Bandit's Team: Yes sir!
Bandit: Then get out there and make me proud!
Biff Atlas's Team:
Biff Atlas: Lakitu! You will paint that Spiny all the colors of Chauncey's crib! And you will throw it at that virtual wall.
Lakitu is in the data safe and throws a painted Spiny at the coloring wall, making a rather cartoonish yet still stylish background.
Biff Atlas: Excellent!
Bandit: Snifit 3, what are you doing?
Snifit 3 is painting the coloring wall of the data safe with a paintbrush.
Snifit 3: Um... painting?
Bandit: No! DAD gave you a turret for a reason! I will not stand for such bland and boring behavior!
Bandit pours red and black paint into Snifit 3's turret and he then fires painted balls at the coloring wall, making a dark and depressing scene with a few splotches.
Bandit: Yes, I like that. A nice destructive death for Mario.
Biff Atlas's Team:
Biff Atlas: Goomba King, have you made a piece of music that Wario will enjoy?!
Goomba King: Have a listen to this!
Goomba King plays peaceful music perfect for a baby's naptime.
Biff Atlas: I like that! It will do well.
Bandit: Waluigi! Have you come up with something nice for the theme?
Waluigi: Waluigi has!
Waluigi plays the theme for Bowser’s Road.
Biff Atlas's Team:
Biff Atlas: What Wario doesn't know is that I'm a wiz at making ghosts in games look 3D.
Biff Atlas starts to create many frames of a good-looking Chauncey model.
Biff Atlas: This is perfect!
Bandit: Bowser, how are you doing?
Bandit looks at what Bowser is making.
Bandit: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Bowser: MAKING CHARACTERS!
Bandit: THOSE AREN'T THE RIGHT ONES! You have a tank and cannonball and Mario! You were supposed to draw WARIO AND JUST HIM!
Bowser: YOU'RE THE BOSS, SO USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE LIKE WE DID IN THE CREATE YOUR OWN BUSINESS EPISODE!
Bandit begins to speak but then stops himself, beginning to think.
Bandit: Hm... All right, I'll improvise, but make a power bar and a fire button!
Bowser: YES SIR!
Biff Atlas's Team:
Biff Atlas: All right, Geno, if you don't want me to kill you, GET TO WORK!
Geno nods in fear of getting beaten up again, and begins to quickly type things down.
Biff Atlas: Make Chauncey cry like a baby! Make him stop when we put a pacifier in his mouth! And a different frame of animation!
Geno makes quick decisions and keeps on going.
Biff Atlas: You win the game if you put the pacifier in his mouth! If time runs out, you lose!
Geno adds the win conditions.
Biff Atlas: Let me play-test this.
Biff Atlas plays it and it works.
Biff Atlas: Excellent! YES! Get this packaged, we're sending it to Wario!
Bandit is steadily working on AI, making sure everything is perfect.
Bandit: When the power bar is at maximum and you press fire, Mario gets squished with a breaking sound... All right, let me play-test this.
Bandit plays his game, it's like the standard "Build up power bar and do something cool" game, only with a tank shooting at Mario in Dark Land... It works.
Bandit: We have it, men! The thing that will win us riches.
Biff Atlas and his crew enter the office at the same time of Bandit and his crew. Biff Atlas and Bandit run up to the desk and place their game on Wario's table at the same time.
Bandit and Biff Atlas: Here you go!
Bandit and Biff Atlas see each other and glare into each other’s eyes. Wario takes both games.
Wario: Well, well, well. So here we are... the judging. I'll play both games, starting with yours, Biff Atlas. What is it called?
Biff Atlas: Naptime for Chauncey.
Wario: All right.
Wario pops in the game and plays it, putting the pacifier in Chauncey's mouth.
Wario: All right. Bandit what is your game called?
Bandit: Bowser's Revenge.
Wario pops it in, plays it, and squishes Mario with a cannonball shot from the tank.
Wario: All right. Let me tell you how the judging works. I’ll grade your work on four categories: background, music, characters, and AI. If your category is better than the other team's you get a point, first to three points wins. Let's start with the background.
Snifit 3 and Lakitu step up.
Wario: Well let's delete all these characters and music for a sec.
Only the background remains on both games.
Wario: Now, on Biff Atlas's game, the background is cool, like a cute mattress. Obviously done by Lakitu. While Snifit 3 made a dark and bloody setting. I like that as well... but if I look closely, I can see splotches in this amateur artist's work. So point goes to Biff Atlas's team.
Biff Atlas's Team: WOOHOO!
Wario: Don't go crazy just yet. Next one, music, let's add in music for the background now.
Waluigi and Goomba King step up and the music they chose plays.
Wario: Now Goomba King's music is very soothing, even when interrupted by Chauncey screaming. I like his work. However, Waluigi has a beautifully-rendered Bowser Road from Super Mario 64... However, I just don't think it fits the theme for what you're trying to do in the game. So point to Biff Atlas's Team.
Biff Atlas: As Booster would say; HOORAH!
Biff Atlas's Team: HOORAH!
Wario: Will you all shut up?! I'm going to judge the characters. Put them onscreen.
The characters pop up onto the screen while Bowser and Biff Atlas step forward.
Wario: Ok, Biff Atlas has a great Chauncey model, and it fits what you want. Bowser, you have a great tank model, cannonball model, AND Mario model. I believe Bowser did more work on the characters. Point goes to Bandit's Team.
Bandit's Team: YAY!!!
Wario: Again SHUT UP! Final category, AI!
Bandit and Geno step forward.
Wario: All right, both games played well, Geno, with your AI of Chauncey, and Bandit, with your AI of the game. They both play so well... however... I once again think Bandit did more work. I have to give him the point. Making it a tie.
Biff Atlas's Team and Bandit's Team: WHAT?!
Wario: Well, in the event of a tie, you're going to do one more BONUS CHALLENGE! If Super Smash Bros. Brawl can sell thousands of copies in the first hour after it was released, then you should be able to sell thousands of copies in just... 30 minutes.
Bandit: But that's hardly any time at all!
Wario: I've made a thousand copies of your game. The price is what you want it to be. SO GO GO GO! Time is money! I don't want people wasting either!
The two teams race down to where their game copies are. On the way down the stairs, Biff Atlas starts to plan.
Biff Atlas: Goomba King and Lakitu, sabotage Bandit and his team. Geno will manage the money, and I'll get the customers.
Bandit is also planning.
Bandit: Beat people up! Get them to make me money!
In the supply room where all the games, are Biff Atlas and Geno pick up their game copies while Lakitu and Goomba King fling themselves at Bandit's team.
Bandit: What the?
Biff Atlas and Geno run out okay. Bowser picks up Goomba King and bodyslams him into Lakitu.
Bandit: Hurry hurry hurry! We're losing time!
Bandit's team run out. Lakitu starts throwing some Spinies, even though he's stuck under Goomba King. Bandit's team makes it outside.
Bandit: Just get people to make me money!
Bandit, Snifit 3, Waluigi and Bowser split up and force people to buy their game for 5 coins each, everyone accepting. At the twenty minute mark Bandit's team has 325 coins.
Bandit: Good, keep working.
Suddenly it appears no one is left in Diamond City.
Bandit: Where is everyone?
Bandit looks around a corner and sees Biff Atlas and his Boos possessing people to buy his game.
Bandit: I have to stop him... I have an idea.
Intercom: 5 minutes left, losers!
Bandit: You three! Attack Biff Atlas's team!
Waluigi plays a bugle.
Bowser, Waluigi, and Snifit 3 charge at Geno, who shoots them with Geno bullets as possessed people attack them. Bandit runs into the apartment.
Intercom: Three minutes!
Bandit runs out and joins the fray.
Intercom: 60 seconds!
Both teams hear this, take what they have, and run up to Wario's Office, Biff Atlas grabbing Goomba King and Lakitu on the way.
Wario: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1
Both teams charge in.
Wario: Zero... Welcome, to the final judging. Hand all your coins to Mona, and she'll calculate the total.
Both teams give Mona their coins. She calculates with the computer how much they made.
A few tense minutes later...
Mona: All right, I have the totals.
Wario: All right, what are they?
Mona: Bandit's team made... 325 coins.
Biff Atlas's team is biting their fingernails.
Mona: While Biff Atlas's Team made... 4,934 coins!
Biff Atlas's team starts celebrating, but Bandit has a smile on his face.
Bandit: Not... so... fast!
Bandit: Shake me.
Bandit: Shake me.
Wario: All right.
Wario shakes up Bandit and coins fly right out of his body. Everyone but Biff Atlas ducks in cover.
Bandit: Count ‘em and weep, boys.
Bandit collects all of his coins and hands them to Mona, who calculates the new total.
Mona: The new total that Bandit's team has is... 5,325 coins!
Bandit's team is celebrating while Biff Atlas's team starts about complain on how he could have made so much money.
Wario: Well Bandit, I don't know how you did it, but thanks to this great amount of money making... I'm proud to say you're-
Everyone: What the?
Petey breaks through a window.
Lakitu: Petey?! What are you doing here?!
Petey: Establishing justice!
Wario: What justice?
Petey spits out a "Property of WarioWare" bag
Wario: ... Lakitu! You and your stupid servant stole my money from a few episodes ago? (See painting episode)
Lakitu: I didn't... honest!
Petey spits out a TV, a VCR, and a couple of videotapes.
Petey: Play them, Master.
Lakitu: ... Ok...
Lakitu plays the tape, and it shows Bandit sneaking into WarioWare's vault and stealing a giant sack of money.
Wario: Is that…?
Petey: Show them the next clip!
Lakitu puts in the next video, which shows Bandit placing the giant sack of coins under his bed.
Wario: What in the world?
Petey: Show them the last clip, Master!
Lakitu pops in the last clip, which shows Bandit in his room taking the sack and dumping all the coins in himself.
Wario: Bandit... is this true?
Bandit: Of course not! I never did this!
Petey: I stole these tapes from your security cameras you never look at, I got here as fast as I could. Now if you were to put this bag in a fingerprint scan, you would see Bandit’s fingerprints all over.
Bandit tries to run, but Biff Atlas throws the unconscious Goomba King in the way of the door.
Bandit: I admit it! I stole from WarioWare because I'm a Bandit. You all should've seen it coming! Especially you! Yeah, you! In front of the computer/iPhone/iPad/whatever you're using to read this! But you forgot that Bandits know how to make an exit.
Bandit runs for the open window and leaps out, however Wario grabs his hood before he makes it out, then grabs Bandit by his shirt collar.
Wario: You stole from ME?! Me of all people! You broke the number one rule, Bandit. NEVER!... STEAL!... FROM!... ME! You took what I love second most in this world... and with that... you're...
Wario charges a punch
Bandit: *in pipsqueak voice* Oh dear
Wario: EARTHQUAKE UPPERCUT!
Wario uses an earthquake uppercut (again impossible), and Bandit flies through the roof and lands on top of Wario's bomb factory.
Bandit: *Phew* At least I landed, I can still escape!
Guy: All right, Wario doesn't want it anymore! So blow it up, boys.
Bandit: *gulp* Blow it up?
Bandit goes flying from the force of the giant explosion.
Bandit: Aw man, this just isn't my day-
Bandit hits a helicopter in mid-flight, making it explode. It falls into Diamond City Prison and Insane Asylum, crashing through Fawful's room.
Fawful's headgear comes to him and flies Fawful out of the hole the helicopter made.
The helicopter lands in a jail cell. A police officer looks at what happened. Then he sees Bandit, who has landed next to a "Wanted" poster of him.
Police: Well, well, well, we've been looking for you for a LOOOOOOOONG time.
Bandit tries to escape but the helicopter is blocking his way out.
Bandit: Well... at least it can't get worse.
Bandit looks behind him and sees Shy Guy.
Bandit: Oh... uh... hi... Shy Guy.
Shy Guy looks blankly at him.
Bandit: Oh... uh... sorry for getting you eliminated...
Shy Guy looks blankly at him.
Bandit: I'm going to be in a world of pain, aren't I?
Shy Guy: Yup
Shy Guy: Come here you ()*#*$#()$#)_#*$(#)*%$(&()%*()&*$)#(*!
Shy Guy starts beating up Bandit.
Meanwhile, back in Wario's Office…
Wario: Well, Biff Atlas, you earned the money the right way... by not stealing from me. So I am honored to say... you're HIRED!
Biff Atlas: WOO! YES! HOORAY!
Wario: Now sign here.
Biff Atlas: What's this?
Wario: It's the deed to your apartment. It's all yours now.
Biff Atlas: Awesome!
Wario: Now be here at work at 7:00 AM! We have a long day ahead of us, especially with the fees for the damage you've done throughout this entire story.
Biff Atlas: Yes sir! PARTY AT MY APARTMENT!
Biff Atlas, Bowser, Waluigi, Geno, Lakitu, Petey, and Snifit 3 go running toward the apartment.
The party is still packing at the apartment,
Biff Atlas: 33 calls to lower the music, 54 pizzas, and 5 times I've beaten you at arm wrestling, Bowser. This is the best party ever!
Bowser: WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE ARM WRESTLING, YEAH!
Snifit 3: YEAH! PARTY! ... Did I just get excited?
Waluigi: Yep. That's what you get when you're around Waluigi, the Dance Dance Revolution fool!
Waluigi is dancing like mad on Dance Dance Revolution, beating high scores in the hardest modes.
Snifit 3: Well... I LIKE IT!
Snifit 3 begins enjoying himself and starts dancing on the DDR. Geno is using cans to practice shooting, but accidentally hits Bowser in the eye.
Biff Atlas slams Bowser's hand down.
Biff Atlas: Six times.
Bowser Why you little!
Bowser starts chasing Geno around the apartment. Meanwhile, Petey is on the roof with Lakitu.
Lakitu: So why did you want me up here, Petey?
Petey: Because... I love you, Master.
Lakitu: Uh... In a friend way, right?
Petey: No, I love you in a lover's way.
Lakitu: Petey... you're a dude, and you're starting to creep me out.
Petey: I am not a man! SUIT OFF!
Petey's leaves pop out of his body,. So do his legs and his head, so his floating body opens up like a peapod, revealing a female Lakitu.
Female Lakitu: I've been in love you all my life! Don't you recognize me? I'm the funeral director at our funeral home. Our jobs never really intertwined, so I disguised myself as Petey Piranha to be near you.
Lakitu: ... That creeps me out even more... Where's the real Petey, anyway?
Meanwhile in space…
Petey: Calm down, Jr. Calm down.
Dino Piranha: WAAAH!
Back on Plit…
Female Lakitu: Will you go out with me?
Lakitu: You scare me, you're a stalker, you are messing with the way I know reality... but you know how to make a convincing Petey Piranha costume... I'll give you a chance.
Lakitu and Female Lakitu go downstairs back to the party.
Meanwhile in WarioWare…
Wario is working late, making plans for his latest microgames. Mona is about to go home, but stops by Wario's office.
Mona: Uh, Wario?
Wario: (not even looking up) Yeah?
Mona: Earlier today, you said to Bandit he stole what you loved second most in this world... May I ask what is the thing you love most?
Wario looks up, with almost a new look on his face. (But you can still see the greedy parts of his face.)
Wario: Mona, the thing I love most in this world... is you.
Mona: ... Oh Wario.
Wario: This is as good of a time as any other, but...
Wario gets out of his chair, takes out a black box, and gets on one knee.
Wario: I worked hard on stealing this from Earth, but it's totally worth it... Mona... will you marry me?
Wario opens the box to reveal one of the biggest diamonds Mona has ever seen.
Mona: ... Yes.
Wario: Come here, baby!
Wario and Mona make out in the pale light of the moon, while we get an epic view of the narrator.
Narrator: One job, now one person has it, Wario's search for an apprentice... has ended.
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