Snifit X Season 3 Paper Snifit The Thousand Year Warp Pipe

By Red Shy Guy

Grodus: So you want to join our secret society.

Punchinello: YUP! So what do I do, Boss?

Grodus: Go with the Shadow Sirens to get the next Golden Plunger.

Punchinello: Yes sir!

Punchinello leaves.

Grodus: GRRRRRR!!! Darn those Snifits! I will win! They can’t win! X-NAUT!

X-Naut: Yes dude, I mean sir!

Grodus Those prisoners- question them and see if they have any info on those Snifits. Tell the X-Naut PhDs to build a new machine.

X-Naut: Yes sir!

With Booster…

Booster: The Snifits are idiots. They’ve been through two adventures lately and they never passed kindergarten.

X-Naut: Okay. Well that was useless.

Booster: Oh, they’re our buddies and are trying to rescue us.

X-Naut: ! That’s all I needed to hear! We’re locking you up!

Booster: Oh dear.

Back with our idiot heroes…

Snifit 1: Wonderful! We have five now. Let’s go back to the Thousand-Year Warp Pipe.

The Snifits go there and see the new location is Poshley Heights.

Grubba: Hmm… Hey, I can get us tickets to the Excess Express. Hang on!

30 minutes later…

Grubba: OW! Okay, got them.

Dodo: What happened to you?

Grubba has been beaten up.

Grubba: It wasn’t easy getting these, you know.

Cortez: Amigos, I have a problem.

Grate Guy: What is it?

Cortez: If I leave my ship I can die if I’m defeated.

Doopliss: Oh crud. Oh well, let’s just go.

The Snifits go to the Excess Express. They board and head on.

Chapter 6: Three Days of Excess … What, expecting another title or something? Well too bad.

Dawn of the first day

Snifit 1: So this is the Excess Express.

Snifit 2: Comfy.

Snifit 3: Yeah, but come on, what in the world are we supposed to do?

Snifit 1: I’m hungry.

Snifit 2: Yeah.

Chef Shimmi: My pot has been stolen!

Snifit 1: What kind of @#$% 5-star train gets their stuff stolen?

Pennington: I will solve this.

Snifit 2: I’m suddenly getting back a memory.

Pennington: I bet you did it!

Snifit 3: Nah, we’re too stupid to think of a plan this good.

Pennington: Lies.

Grate Guy: What’s going on?

Pennington: These Snifits stole a pot.

Knife Guy: No they didn’t.

Pennington: Then who did?

Snifits: I dunno.

Pennington: Then you look!

Snifits: Fine.

The Snifits follow a trail of food and see it leads to door 03.

Snifit 1: Grenade!

Snifit 1 throws a grenade inside.

Spiketail: What are you doing?

Snifit 2: Throwing a sleeping grenade, why?

Spiketail: Don’t you need a gas mask first?

Snifit 3: Oh dear.

The gas spreads and the Snifits and Spiketail get knocked out.

Sunset

Lord Crump: Hey, wake up.

Snifit 3: What happened?

Lord Crump: You got knocked out, but don’t worry, they caught the criminal.

Snifit 1: Is it really sunset?

Lord Crump: Yeah.

Snifit 2: I’m bored.

Snifit 3: Can we just skip ahead to night please?

Red Shy Guy: Okay, fine.

Nighttime

Snifit 1 decides to visit Cabin 004.

Ghost T: Who dares?

Snifit 1: Hi.

Ghost T: Can you get me my diary?

Snifit 1: Dude, you lost it again?

Ghost T: SHADDAP!!!

Snifit 1: Okay, listen, I’ll get it.

Snifit 1 goes to the storage room and gets it. Snifit 1 decides to open it.

Snifit 1: Ouch, poor guy. Huh?

Ghost T: YOU DARE READ MY DIARY?! WAIT, YOU CAN READ IT?!

Snifit 1: I can read?

Ghost T: DIE!

Snifit 1 takes out the Poltergust 3000 and sucks him up.

Snifit 1: HA! I’m not afraid of no ghost.

Snifit 2: Hey, what’s going on?

Snifit 1: Nothing.

Snifit 2: Let’s get some rest.

Snifit 1: Okay.

Dawn of the second day

Snifit 3: Hey look, a note.

Dear Snifits,

You will die and I will have my revenge. Although I wish I could kill you using my own fist. But still! All I want is for you to be dead! AHAHAHAHA!!!

Snifits: ?

Grubba: Good morning .Huh? What’s that?

Snifit 1: Something about us and a fist.

Grubba: ?

Pennington: My goodness, somebody has stolen some nitro syrup, shell earrings, and a gold ring!

Snifits: And?

Pennington: If those three mix then we’re all doomed.

Spiketail: Hey guys, I saw some syrup drippings by the storage room.

Pennington: Storage room, you say?

They rush there and see the place is locked.

Pennington: Drat!

Doopliss: I’ll handle this!

Doopliss transforms into DK and breaks the door open.

Snifits: What the?

Punchinello: ! YOU!

Grate Guy: Huh? No, we killed you again!

Punchinello: I had a 1-Up ration with me.

Knife Guy: But you were a ghost!

Punchinello: Yeah, but it would only activate if I died again. So the 1-Up fully revived me.

Cortez: Give up! We have you surrounded.

Punchinello: GRR! Beldam told me to slow you down. I guess we have to use Plan B instead.

Punchinello gives the stuff back.

Punchinello: ! Excellent. Right now we are heading towards Riverside Station. Later, suckers!

Lord Crump: You’re not going anywhere!

Punchinello: That’s what you think!

Punchinello throws a smoke bomb. He flees and heads inside Riverside Station. He makes the bridge go up. Punchinello jumps up and makes it to the other side.

Punchinello: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Snifits: CRUD!

Spiketail: He got away.

Pennington: You need to open that bridge back up!

Snifits: Fine.

When the Snifits enter the Station, they see the place is dark.

Snifit 1: !  Hey look, the elevator!

Dodo: It’s locked!

Grubba: I’ll break it! Falcon Punch!

Grubba hits it and gets electrocuted, but he still leaves a dent.

Lord Crump: I have my handy dandy lock pick.

Lord Crump puts it in the keyhole and gets electrocuted too.

Snifits: Quick, transform!

They transform into Mega Snifit and blast the elevator. It opens and the Snifits go in.

Smorg: Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg.

Snifits: What are those things?

Smorgs: Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg. Smorg.

The Snifits can’t go through them. They decide to go back up.

Grubba: Well?

Snifits: Can’t, there are weird creatures there.

Lord Crump: Maybe there’s something here we can use.  !  My treasure finder has located something.

Snifits: Let’s go!

They continue down the path but soon get lost.

Spiketail: What do we do? It’s turning dark and we’ve been lost for hours!

Grubba: I know! Crump, you sure that doo-hikey of yours is working?

Crump: Maybe. It says the treasure’s where I’m standing.  !  That’s it! It’s underneath me!

Crump calls his Magnus Von Grapple and drills a hole. He extracts a large chest. The Snifits open it and get the Bulky Bomb. They can use it to blow up stuff.

Snifits: Let’s go.

Nighttime

Snifit 1: What? It’s nighttime?

Oh fine, morning.

Snifit 2: That’s mean!

Sunset.

Snifit 3: JERK!

Okay, fine, close to morning.

Partners: Let’s hurry!

They rush and head back down, and the Snifits blow the Smorgs away. They hit the switch and the bridge goes back down. The Snifits hurry back on the train and fall asleep.

LAST DAY!
SUNSET!

The Snifits: Huh? What happened? SUNSET?

The Snifits get outside and see the conductor.

Conductor: Howdy. How’s it going?

Snifits: 0_0

Conductor: ?  What’s wrong?

He looks around and see Smorg right in front of him. Smorg smashes the window.

Partners: What’s going on?!

Smorg: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Snifit 1: This looks bad.

Smorg: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Snifit 2: Is he angry?

Smorg: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Snifit 3: Am I the only one who doesn’t get a word he says?

Snifit 3 gets out a cell phone and dials a number.

Grate Guy: AMAZING! I didn’t even know you can work technology!

Snifit 1: Oh, it only goes to one phone.

Knife Guy: Who?

E. Gadd: Huh? Oh, Snifits, what do you want from me this time?

Snifit 3: Can you send me some sort of translator thingamajig?

E. Gadd: Oh fine.

Snifit 3: Hey, I’ll send you a ghost and 200 gold coins in exchange.

E. Gadd: Ok. It’s my newest thing anyway. Enjoy.

The Snifits get… a pill?

Snifit 3: What’s this?

E. Gadd: Does that thing have a mouth?

Snifit 3 looks back.

Snifit 3: I think so.

E. Gadd: Throw this in its mouth, and eureka! It will speak perfect English.

Snifit 3: Thanks.

E. Gadd: Call me if it works.

Snifit 3: Okay.

Snifit 3 throws it at Smorg.

Smorg: SMOOOOOOO- IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! ! Hey, I can talk! Thanks, but you must die!

Snifit 3: That’s messed up!

Smorg: Tell you what. If you beat me, I’ll join you.

Snifit 1: Bring it on!

Smorg: You bet I will!

RPG-like battle

Snifit 1 35/35
Snifit 2 33/33
Snifit 3 32/32
VS
Smorg 100/100
Smorg Miasmas 7/7
                               7/7
                               7/7

Smorg tries to grab the Snifits but misses. The Snifits shoot him but cause no damage.

Smorg: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Fools, you cannot damage me!

Snifit 1 uses Bullet Rain. The Miasmas get hit and go inside of Smorg.

Smorg: CRUD!

Snifit 2 uses Lightning Orb. Smorg gets electrocuted. Snifit 3 uses Gunk Cannon. Smorg is hit again. The Snifits jump up. Smorg kicks them with his feet. The Snifits almost fall off the train. The Smorg Miasmas come back. Smorg slams at them and the Snifits dodge. The train shakes. Smorg slams them again. The train keeps shaking. The Snifits use Bullet Rain. Smorg rips some metal off the train and launches the metal at the Snifits. They dodge it but get punched by the Smorg Miasmas. Smorg’s Miasmas become other Smorgs that then start pummeling the Snifits. They start to bring them toward Smorg.

Smorg: AHAHAHAHA!!!

Snifit 1 throws an Egg Bomb at Smorg. He takes damage and the other Smorgs flee back to the main Smorg.

Snifit 1 15/35
Snifit 2 13/33
Snifit 3 12/32
VS
Smorg 84/100
Smorg Miasmas 7/7

The Snifits prepare to do another Bullet Rain. Smorg slams the train. The Snifits go up but still unleash it, but it hits everything, even the train.

Snifit 1: The train’s gonna crash!

Smorg: !  CRUUUUUUUUD!!!

SLAM! CRASH!

Snifit 1: ?  What happened?

Snifit 2: The train crashed through some tunnels.

Smorg: SMOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Snifit  3: I thought you could speak!

Smorg: That’s what I say when I’m mad!

The Smorg Miasmas wrap around the Snifits and start squeezing them. Snifit 3 pulls out Zess Dynamite.

Partners: !  Don’t throw that!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

The train’s going out of control. The train makes it to Poshley Heights and starts crashing through houses.

Smorg: No more games!

Smorg starts picking up the flying wreckage and launching it at them. The Snifits can’t dodge it all so they get buried in the wreckage.

Smorg: I won.

Snifit 1: Eat this, sucker!

Snifit 3: Did you launch another Zess T. Dynamite?

Snifit 2: Abandon train!

The Snifit crew jump off the train.

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

The train explodes with everything in it.

Snifit 1: Oops.

???: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!!!

Snifits: EEP!

Snifit 1 3/35
Snifit 2 2/33
Snifit 3 1/32
VS
Smorg 10/100

Smorg grabs a hot piece of metal and flings it at the Snifits, but they duck. Smorg kicks but Snifit 1 and 2 react quickly. Snifit 3 gets kicked to the pasta cart and faints. Snifit 2 uses Lightning Orb. Smorg kicks it back. Snifit 2 jumps in the air and dunks it back at him. Smorg gets electrocuted. Smorg grabs the fountain and throws it at him. Snifit 2 roll dodges but gets hit by Hammer Arm and faints. Smorg lunges at Snifit 1 but Snifit 1 dodges him. Snifit 1 runs away and heads towards the hotel. Smorg’s Mismas go through the hotel and corner Snifit 1.

Smorg: Any last words?

Snifit 1: RUN AWAYYYYY!!!

Snifit 1 flees.

Smorg: ?!  CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

SMASH!

Battle Over. The Snifits win 30 Star Points.

Smorg: Ow. ! NO! NO! NO! NO! You actually beat me.

Snifit 1 puts the nametag on him.

Snifit 2: Too bad, now you are actually part of the Snifit group.

Smorg: GRR! Why should I? BLAGHAGAHGAHAAHGAHAGHA!!!

Snifit 3: That a good enough reason.

Smorg: Fine.

Smorg joins the party.

Smorg: After all, a deal is a deal, even though I regret it.

They see a lock on the sanctum door.

Smorg: How are we gonna open the sanctum?

Pennington falls out of nowhere.

Pennington: Good grief, I thought I was doomed. Do you have business here?

Snifit 1: Yes.

Pennington: Okey dokey.

He opens it and the Snifits look and see the Shadow Sirens plus Punchinello.

Punchinello: !  YOU!!! Okay, you wanna tussle?!

Beldam: Freak! Run away with the Golden Plunger!

Punchinello: I have a name. You, grandma, can run away with that gold thing.

Beldam: Grandma?!

Vivian: Let’s just run away.

Punchinello: Stay out of it!

Marilyn: Guh.

Punchinello: I’ve about had it with you, Guh @#$%! Now DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Punchinello starts kicking Marilyn.

Snifit Gang: -_-

The Shadow Sirens get in a fight with Punchinello.

Smorg: Idiots.

Beldam: Forget you, let’s deal with them.

Punchinello: You’re too old too fight, Grandma!

Beldam: ):<  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

They get into another fight.

Snifit 1: Let’s just break up this fight.

Doopliss: No prob.

Doopliss turns into Big Bob-omb and blows up on them.

RPG-like battle

Snifit 1: We’re still weak!

Grate Guy: Me, Knife Guy, and Dodo will handle this!

Grate Guy 40/40
Knife Guy 38/38
Dodo 45/45
VS
Punchinello 30/90
Beldam 10/40
Marilyn 15/50
Vivian 30/30

Grate Guy uses Meteor Blast. It hits all of them. Knife Guy uses Knife Rain. Punchinello and Vivian dodge that but the others don’t. Dodo uses Giga Impact. Vivian uses Fiery Jinx. The Snifit group get hurt but Dodo still releases his Giga Impact, and the fire makes it more powerful as it hits Vivian. POW! Vivian slams into Punchinello. Punchinello uses Hyper Beam. Dodo gets hit by it. Grate Guy focuses. Knife Guy uses Kniferang. Punchinello catches it and starts going towards Knife Guy. Knife Guy pulls out a Samarai Sword. Beldam uses Blizzard. Knife Guy freezes. Punchinello punches Knife Guy away.

Grate Guy: METEOR SWARM!!!

Meteors pummels into the Shadow Siren group. Beldam and Marilyn faint from the attack. Vivian dodges but Punchinello stands up from the attack.

Grate Guy 35/40
Knife Guy 15/38 Frozen
Dodo 15/45
VS
Punchinello 5/90
Vivian 10/30

Punchinello uses Hyper Beam and it hits Dodo. Dodo faints. Vivian uses Infatuate. Grate Guy becomes dizzy. Punchinello grabs him and uses Flame Choke. Grate Guy falls down. The partners come but Punchinello blows the partners away with a hyper beam. Vivian fire punches Grate Guy. Punchinello uses Falcon Punch. Grate Guy gets blown away. Vivian prepares another Fire Punch. Knife Guy breaks free of the ice and slashes Vivian with his Samarai Sword. Vivian faints. Punchinello Falcon Punches Knife Guy. Knife Guy faints. Grate Guy snaps out of it. Punchinello uses another Flacon Punch. Grate Guy kicks his ball and Punchinello trips on it and punches the ground. Grate Guy uses Meteor Blast. Punchinello slams against the wall.

Battle Over. The Snifit group wins 20 Star Points.

Punchinello: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAARNNNNNN!!! Get this straight, if these hags weren’t in my way I would’ve won. Here, take your stupid fool’s gold!

Punchinello throws the Golden Plunger and it breaks.

Punchinello: I’m not dumb, I knew it was a fake. I’m out of here.

Beldam: Ugh. You win for now. Let’s go!

The Shadow Sirens and Punchinello leave.

Snifit 1: Let’s recover before we go on.

One recover later…

Smorg: I know where the Golden Plunger is.

Smorg points at the warp pipe in the sanctum, and they go inside and see the real Golden Plunger.

????: Whoooooooooooooooooo dares?

Dark Atomic Boo appears. Snifit 1 pulls out the Poltergust 3000 and starts sucking him up.

Snifit 1: I’m not afraid of no ghost.

Dark Atomic Boo grabs it and eats it.

Snifit 1: 0_0  Never mind, I am afraid of ghosts!

Spiketail: We’ll handle this!

RPG-like battle

Spiketail 30/30
Lord Crump 30/30
Macho Grubba 35/35
VS
Dark Atomic Boo 60/60

Drak Atomic Boo turns invisible. Lord Crump shoots a beam with his ray gun. Dark Atomic Boo turns visible again and makes a shockwave. Grubba and Lord Crump get hit. Spiketail uses Flame Wall. Dark Atomic Boo gets hit. Dark Atomic Boo breathes out blue fire. Spiketail gets hit by it. Crump calls in his Magnus Von Grapple. Dark Atomic Boo prepares a Boo Beam. Macho Grubba uses Falcon Punch on the Dark Atomic Boo. The Magnus shoots its rocket punches. They hit Dark Atomic Boo. Dark Atomic Boo shoots out its Boo Beam. Grubba and Lord Crump get hit. Grubba barely stands up. The Magnus explodes and Crump hits the ceiling, knocking him up. Spiketail slams on Dark Atomic Boo with his tail. Dark Atomic Boo bites his tail and spins him around and launches him at Grubba. Grubba punches him back and Spiketail hits Dark Atomic Boo. Dark Atomic Boo uses Ghostly Wail. Grubba faints and Spiketail becomes dizzy. Doopliss and Cortez come out.

Spiketail 6/30 Dizzy
Doopliss 30/30
Cortez 30/30
VS
Dark Atomic Boo 25/60

Dark Atomic Boo uses recover, +10 HP. Doopliss transforms into Luigi. He pulls out the Poltergust 3000 and starts sucking him up. Dark Atomic Boo uses Ghostly Wail. Doopliss gets dizzy. Spiketail faints. Cortez doesn’t get affected by it. He uses Night Slash. Dark Atomic Boo is hit. Dark Atomic Boo splits into other Dark Boos. They start ganging up on Cortez. Doopliss snaps out of it and shots out ice beams with the Poltergust 3000. He sucks up some of the Dark Boos. The Dark Boos get back together and prepare another Boo Beam. Doopliss transforms into a Boo and hides with Cortez. The Boo Beam still hits them, and Doopliss and Cortez faint. Smorg comes out.

Smorg 35/35
VS
Dark Atomic Boo 15/60

Smorg slams Dark Atomic Boo. Dark Atomic Boo uses Ghostly Wail. Smorg gets hurt but is not dizzy. Smorg wraps around Dark Atomic Boo and squeezes him. Dark Atomic Boo splits and so does Smorg. It’s an all out war with each other and Smorg is winning. Dark Atomic Boo prepares a final Boo Beam. Smorg slams Dark Atomic Boo, who releases it. Smorg quickly spreads apart and the Boo Beam almost hits all of them. Smorg gets back together and Smorg hammer-arms Dark Atomic Boo into the ground. Dark Atomic Boo explodes.

Battle Over. The Snifits win 25 Star Points.

The Snifits grab the Golden Plunger.

End of Chapter.

The Snifits have grabbed the 6th Golden Plunger. Only one remains, and Grodus possesses it. Can the Snifits rescue their friends? Will the Snifits fall? Stay tuned.

Saving. Saved.

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.