Chapter 9: Battle of Wart Island
PREVIOUSLY, ON FINALLY FANTASTIC ZERO:
Waluigi’s voice: Okay, let’s see... Uh, we got this girl named Vivian, and this Wart guy wanted to use her for world domination or something. Then she stopped and this Popple guy took her to my brother Wario, and then they met Waluigi. And Wario was all like, “Give me money,” and Waluigi’s all like, “I hope you die,” and Wario says, “You’re right, I should-
Wario punches Waluigi.
Wario: Stop ripping off that abridged series! You’re digging the author into a bigger hole than he’s in already!
Waluigi: Okay! ... Let’s see...
Waluigi’s voice: Uh, so Cowboy Jed dies... Grubba Jr. dies... That one monster dies... Me, Toadsworth, and this other guy get on a train... Me, Toadsworth, and this other guy get off a train... We’ve got a transformation, opera, a Big Lipped Alligator Moment... Mario dies... Jarvis and Jigsaw die... The Skellobit in Over dies... That was an accident though-
Wario punches Waluigi again.
Wario: What did I just tell you?!
Waluigi: Okaaaaay!
Now for the next chapter of Finally Fantastic Zero...
Everyone is on the Millennium Star.
Game Guy: Okay, so we’re all ready to tackle Wart, Fawful, and their little pig too? Because I don’t think we’ll have too much of a chance to come back.
Wario: I’d better start hoarding some money then...
Vivian: Wario, don’t you think this is more important?
Wario: Your FACE is more important!
Vivian: ... How did that-
Wario: How did you?!
Vivian: But you-
Wario: But you!
Vivian: ...
Popple: I’m bushed! I’ve been in the last few areas consecutively.
Vivian: *sigh* Fine, you can stay out of the party...
Game Guy: Only three of you can go.
Vivian: Why?
Game Guy: ONLY THREE OF YOU CAN GO!
Vivian: Eek! Okay! Let’s go.
And so...
Birdo: Oh no! It’s the Air Force!
A bunch of Pidgits are flying around Wart Island. Shy Guys with machine guns are sitting on the Pidgits’ heads.
Toadsworth: Three of us are gonna have to fight them off!
Luvbi: I’ll do it!
Grambi: NO!
Luvbi: Aww...
Waluigi: I’ll do it!
Everyone else laughs.
Waluigi: What?! I can do it!
Wario: Yeah Waluigi, we all believe you... *snicker*
Waluigi: But I caaaaaaan!
Wario: Yeah, yeah, I know... *snicker* WAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Hahahaha...
Waluigi: Hmmmph!
Vivian: Forget it! Grambi, Cudge, you’re with me.
Vivian, Grambi, and Cudge then climb out onto the deck.
Pidgits: ATTAAAAACK!
The Shy Guys start shooting at the Millennium Star, but Cudge flies around and hammers some shots away while Vivian and Grambi put up reflective spells to defend the ship. The returned fire explodes in the guns and knocks the Shy Guys to the ground.
Shy Guys: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Burning pieces of gun also land on the Pidgits’ carpets, setting them on fire and leaving the Pidgits without carpets, so they fall.
Pidgits: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Vivian: Well that was easier than I thought.
Grambi: Wart’s minions sure aren’t very smart.
Cudge: What’s that?
A green and red blur whizzes past, dropping off Gooper Blooper.
Gooper Blooper: I’m back!
Vivian: Oh no! For the last time, I don’t like you!
Gooper Blooper: Look, I know we’d look weird as a couple, but we could make it work!
Vivian: NO!
BOSS FIGHT!
Vivian: 500/500
Grambi: 900/900
Cudge: 1500/1500
Vs.
Gooper Blooper:
2100/2100
Vivian: I don’t want to do a boss fight!
Gooper Blooper: Would you rather date me?
Vivian: ... FINE! WHATEVER! THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!
Gooper Blooper: All right! Time for this system I downloaded off this one guy’s computer!
Gooper Blooper uploads Swoone.exe!
BATTLE OVER!
DATING SIM!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 100/100
Gooper Blooper
uses Small Talk!
Gooper Blooper:
So... come here often?
Vivian: No...
Gooper Blooper:
I see...
It worked! But
it didn’t do damage!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 100/100
Gooper Blooper
uses Gift!
Gooper Blooper:
Would you like this pie?
Vivian: Sure...
Vivian takes
the pie... and smashes it into Gooper Blooper’s face!
Vivian: You’ve
been bothering me and getting in our way!
Gooper Blooper’s
crush suffers 20 damage!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 80/100
Gooper Blooper
uses Compliment!
Gooper Blooper:
I like your hat. Where’d you get it?
Vivian: I got
it at shut up.
Vivian turned
the answer into an insult!
Gooper Blooper’s
crush suffers 15 damage!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 65/100
Gooper Blooper
talks about himself!
Gooper Blooper:
I graduated at the top of my class at college!
Vivian: Which
one?
Gooper Blooper:
Uhh... Diamond... U?
Vivian: ...
Gooper Blooper:
... OKAY! I’M A SHAM!
The lie failed!
Gooper Blooper’s
crush suffers 10 damage!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 55/100
Gooper Blooper
calls in a Wingman!
Gooper Blooper:
Vivian, this is Petey Piranha. He’s the one that brought me here.
Petey Piranha:
Yo.
Gooper Blooper:
We can use him as a romantic limousine or something! What do you say?
Petey Piranha:
What? I didn’t agree to that! You just said to drop you off! And you said
there’d be food if I came back!
Gooper Blooper:
C’mon, I need this!
Petey Piranha:
No!
Petey Piranha
betrayed Gooper Blooper! It’s all over!
Gooper Blooper’s
crush suffers 40 damage!
Vivian’s Resistance:
100/100
Vs.
Gooper Blooper’s
Crush: 15/100
Vivian: I’m getting
rid of this dating sim!
Vivian uses Fiery
Jinx on the system!
I suffer terminal
damage!
Gooper Blooper
loses by default!
Vivian wins!
DATING SIM OVER!
Gooper Blooper: If I can’t have you, no one will! You won’t hear from me again!
Gooper Blooper knocks Vivian overboard.
Grambi/Cudge: VIVIAN!
They jump off to get her.
Grambi: This wasn’t so smart, in retrospect.
Cudge: Yeah...
Meanwhile...
Gooper Blooper: So... Wanna go to Wendy’s?
Petey: Okay.
Meanwhile...
Vivian: Now what?
Grambi: We just have to land on that continent there and we’ll be on our way to stopping Wart! Let’s try to land in the middle!
???: Can’t let you do that, Star Grambi.
Wolf’s ship appears and catches Grambi.
Grambi: Wolf! My old college roommate!
Wolf: You’re on my turf now! Watch your step, Grambi.
Leon’s ship catches Cudge.
Leon: Ha ha! I think I’ll torment you a bit before I cook you!
A third ship with a rose design catches Vivian.
Pilot: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Panther... and all who see my rose meet death.
Cudge: Dang, I saw it...
Vivian: Oh great, away from one love-struck villain and into the arms of another...
Panther: So I just got you off the rebound? Score!
Vivian: No, I wasn’t even... I don’t care anymore!
Grambi: We’re just here for Wart, so shut your traps and hand us to him!
Wolf: Can’t let you do that!
All of Star Wolf do barrel rolls, knocking everyone off... and onto the island.
Wolf: ...
Leon: ...
Panther: ...
Wolf: That’s it. I quit.
On the island...
Vivian: Ow...
Grambi: What did we land on?
Cudge: Looks like...
Gourmet Guy: Me.
Vivian: Whoops.
The group get off of Gourmet Guy and they continue for a ways until they notice a familiar character lying face-down on the ground.
Vivian: ...
Cudge: What?
Grambi: That moron that was with you guys in Over?
The person is P.T.
Vivian: Yes...
Grambi: You think we should wake him up?
Vivian: I don’t want to... But then again, maybe we could use him as a shield.
Vivian walks over to P.T. and kicks his body. I don’t see how that’s possible with a stalk in lieu of a pair of legs, but whatever.
P.T.: WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY- Oh. Where am I?
Grambi: You’re on Wart Island. Wart lifted a continent into the air and you must’ve been on it.
P.T.: Where’s Grim Reaper?
Grambi: With Luvbi on the ship.
P.T.: Where’s Bob?
Grambi: Who?
P.T.: I didn’t say anything about Bob.
Grambi: Yes you did-
P.T.: No you did.
Grambi: But-
Vivian: Are you gonna join the party or not?
P.T.: Fine...
P.T. joins the party! In the field he can- Oh wait...
The party then continue to explore Wart Island until they reach something strange in the center area.
P.T.: Mommy, what’s that?
Grambi: ... I’m not your mother!
Culex: I AM MATTER! I AM ANTI-MATTER! I AM... I FORGOT THE REST. YOU WON’T GET TO WART ON MY WATCH!
Vivian: We’ll see!
Vivian changes into Star Vivian. Her hat lands on Grambi’s head.
Cudge: Why does that keep happening?
Star Vivian: I don’t want my hat to get dirty.
Cudge: ...
Star Vivian starts blasting Culex with magic spells, as does Grambi. Cudge hits Culex... with his head...
P.T.: ...
Cudge: Take that, and that-
P.T.: ...
Grambi: POWER TRIANGLE!
P.T.: ...
Star Vivian: Fiery Jinx!
P.T.: ...
P.T. grabs Star Vivian by her tail and then swings her so she wraps around Grambi. Then he swings the combination into Cudge, knocking him into Culex.
P.T.: Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Catapulting Companions into Culex!
Cudge: YOU IDIOT!
Cudge starts hitting P.T. repeatedly.
P.T.: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Star Vivian: That was stupid, but I think he made a dent in Culex at least.
Culex really does have a dent in him, like he’s the hood of a car.
Grambi: How is that possible?!
Culex opens his stomach up like in a Looney Toons cartoon and pulls out a muffler, which he’s using to pound on Grambi.
Grambi: IS THIS GUY A FREAKING CAR?!
Star Vivian: Then in that case...
Star Vivian dials a number on her phone. Culex answers his own phone.
Culex: HELLO?
Star Vivian takes Culex’s phone, opens a gas cap on the side of Culex, jams the phone in, closes it, and then flies away, picking up the other three on her way.
Culex: CHEAP SHOT!
Culex explodes.
Star Vivian changes back to normal.
P.T.: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Grambi: Cudge, we won. You don’t need to do that anymore.
Cudge: No way, this is fun!
Grambi: ... It actually does look kind of fun...
Vivian: Guys, we can play Whack-a-Moron later. We need to stop Wart!
P.T.: Shiny!
P.T. notices something shiny and runs off to get it.
Cudge: No, I was about to get the Hi-Score!
Grambi: Are you saying that’s an actual game?
Vivian, Grambi, and Cudge go forth to the altar to find Wart, Fawful, Midbus, and the Almighty Oscars.
Fawful: I have fury!
Wart: You always have fury! What is it about now?
Wart looks.
Wart: Oh. Well how about that, you actually got here! Well... I am the great Wart! And I will rule with an iron fist!
???: That’s as far as you go!
Birdo appears.
Midbus: THE GENERAL OF ANNOYINGNESS!
Fawful: I am still having fury!
Fawful shoots stun lasers at the party except for Birdo.
Wart: Birdo, if you kill these guys you can have your old job back.
Birdo takes the laser gun from Fawful.
Vivian: Birdo, no!
Fawful: Birdo, yes!
Cudge: We’re done for.
Birdo: ... SNEAK ATTACK!
Birdo spins and zaps Fawful.
Fawful: AAAH!
Wart: No, no, no! The infidels are over THERE! That was Fawful! Ugh, is it too much trouble to have a general with good aim these days?!
Midbus: LORD FAWFUL... IS YOUR BEING ON AN OKAY LEVEL?
Fawful: ... FURY!
Fawful steps into the center of the Almighty Oscars and the Dark Star appears.
Fawful: I HAVE DARKNESS!
Wart: Hey wait a minute!
RPG BATTLE!
Wart: 2000/2000
Vs.
Fawful: 1000/1000
(Dark Power)
Dark Star: ???
Wart: Fawful! What did you just do?! You’d better not have usurped the Dark Star’s power or so help me-
Fawful: YOU WILL HAVE SILENCE! FAWFUL IS NOW HAVING CONTROL!
Wart uses Bubble! No damage!
Fawful usurps
the Dark Star’s power!
Fawful becomes
Dark Fawful!
Wart: 2000/2000
Vs.
Dark Fawful:
???
Wart: ...? DIE!
Wart uses Bubble!
No damage!
Dark Fawful uses
Veggie Ray! 9999 damage!
Wart: AAAAAH!
Wart faints!
BATTLE OVER...
Dark Fawful: The power is belonging to Fawful! Midbus, for the loyalty of you, you shall have a life of spared-ness! Now destroy the fink-rat!
Midbus throws Wart’s body off the island.
“MIDBUS! THE LEADING BRAND OF WART REMOVER!”
Midbus: UMM... YES?
Fawful: NOW THE STATUES HAVE MOVEMENT!
Midbus: Okay.
???: WACHAW!
P.T. swings in on a vine... and misses... Then he swings back and stomps on Midbus’ head, knocking him out. He gets 100 points! ... Like in the first Super Mario Bros. when you stomp a Goomba.
P.T.: I don’t think so, Tim!
Dark Fawful pushes the pointy Oscar.
P.T.: Oh yeah? Well I can push stuff too!
P.T. pushes the one with hair covering one eye.
Vivian: Don’t push them!
P.T.: You’re not my mom!
Dark Fawful pushes the Peach-like one.
Dark Fawful: I say to you, thanks for assisting Fawful! The world will have the being jacked up!
P.T.: ... Oh...
Birdo takes Fawful’s discarded gun and frees the others.
Birdo: We’re already doomed, let’s just get out while we can.
Vivian: Good point.
Cudge: RUN FOR IT!
Vivian, Grambi, Cudge, and Birdo hurry to the nearest exit of Wart Island, but...
Dimentio: Fawful says if I kill you now, I get to be the villain! Now prepare... for magic!
Cudge hits Dimentio on the head, defeating him.
Dimentio: Even with me gone, it’s too late... The world will be changed like a Wiggler into a... Para-Wiggler...
Birdo: Oh no, we’ve got to stop them!
Grambi: No time, jump!
Everyone jumps off the edge and onto the Millennium Star. Meanwhile, P.T. and Dark Fawful are pushing the same statue from opposite sides.
P.T.: So, what kind of change are we talking about? Like coins? Obama? What are you making us deal with?
Dark Fawful: Well, I was in the thinking that the continents would have rearrangements, new scheme of colors, enemies with more points of life, music of new-ness. There will be the involvement of many overings of games.
P.T.: Oh. Hey guys, is that all really such a bad thing?
P.T. sees that they have left.
P.T.: AAH!
P.T. punches Dark Fawful to stall him and then hurries after the party and jumps off of Wart Island. Everyone lands on the Millennium Star’s deck.
P.T.: Phew... Mine!
P.T. takes Grim Reaper from Luvbi.
Toadsworth: Now what?
Yoshi: Will we die?
P.T.: Yeah, probably.
Grambi: You weren’t even supposed to make it to this ship!
A dark hurricane starts blowing the ship around.
Party: Whee!
The ship hits a mountain peak and breaks into many pieces and everyone flies off in a different direction. And Dark Fawful starts shooting lasers at the world, killing everyone, destroying places, rearranging the continents, and worst of all... giving support to those stupid Disney “musicians”! The agony! It’s the end of all things for sure!
DAD: Yep. You’re done for.
... Well THAT’S a good thing to know.
DAD: Well excuuuuse me, Princess!
...
Chapter 10: Fawful’s World
Previously, on “Finally Fantastic Zero”:
Grambi: POWER TRIANGLE!
“And now the epic finale...”
The world is different now. The color scheme is slightly cooler, places have changed, and Strickland Propane has been dissolved. On one island to the south called Solitaire Island, where you play solitaire to pass the time, there is one house that Elvin Gadd lives in. Birdo is there too, and she wakes up.
Birdo: I’M LATE FOR SCHOOL!
Elvin: You graduated!
Birdo: Oh... I just had the weirdest dream. Me and a bunch of other people went to an island in the sky, and Fawful killed Wart and destroyed the world.
Elvin: Oh, that happened.
Birdo: ... Oh... Then what?
Elvin: You fell into a coma and I found you.
Birdo: How long was I out?
Elvin: ‘Bout a year.
Birdo: ... A year?
Elvin: Yep. 365 days.
Birdo: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
L: *raises hands* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Darth Vader: *looks up* NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Snake: Are you kidding me?!
Nappa: *looks over shoulder* There’s no way that can be right!
Doopliss as Mario (camera spins around): HOW?! HOW?! HOW?! HOW?! HOW?! HOW?!
M. Bison: YES! YES!
Elvin: ENOUGH!
Birdo: I MISSED A WHOLE YEAR OF MY LIFE! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!
Elvin: Yeah, that kinda stuff happens... And now I’m dying. So move it!
Elvin pushes Birdo out of bed, crawls under the covers, and proceeds to start dying.
Birdo: Can’t I save you?!
Elvin: Nope.
Birdo: NOOOOOO!!!
Darth Vader: *looks up* NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Birdo: This is the worst birthday ever!
Birdo runs outside.
Elvin: (Good, maybe I can die in peace... I wonder if she knows she’s actually been asleep for a week and I was messing with her. Aw, who cares?)
Birdo runs up to the cliff to the north.
Birdo: If Elvin can’t live and nobody else I know is alive, then I’ll die too!
Drillbit Crab: Isn’t that a little extreme?
Birdo: ... Is that Goonie dead?
Drillbit Crab: Yeah.
Birdo jumps.
Birdo: Whee!
Crab’s voice: Wait, it got up! It was just napping after all!
Birdo: ... Shoot... AAAAAAHHHH-
Birdo lands on a rock and then just keeps falling from rock to rock until she lands in the water and washes up on the beach.
Drillbit Crab: Glad I caught ya. I saw this.
Birdo takes whatever the crab was holding. It’s Popple’s shoe.
Birdo: I’ll treasure it forever! ... Now what do I do, though?
Drillbit Crab: The Monty Mole Bros. built a drill thing that we can take to get to the mainland.
Birdo: Sounds good to me.
After a boring walk down a tunnel, Birdo and the Drillbit Crab go their separate ways. Birdo soon reaches Ricco Harbor.
Birdo: Hi!
Hobo: HSSSS!!!
Birdo: Aah!
Goomba: Ever since Fawful became the new DAD, this town’s really improved.
Birdo: This is an improvement?!
Goomba: You bet! They built a Starbucks here!
Birdo: But practically everything’s destroyed! The boats aren’t working! The people are mean, sick, and dead!
Goomba: But at least we have a Starbucks.
Birdo: But-
Goomba: Star. Bucks.
Birdo: ... Uh-huh...
Goomba: You’re not thinking of killing DAD-X, are you? Because if you do, he’ll zap Ricco Harbor with a laser! He only kills people he doesn’t like.
L face-palms.
Birdo: Will all of you stop following me?!
Snake: We... have nowhere to go!
Birdo: I don’t even know where I’m going!
Doopliss as Mario: Forget it, guys, let’s just hit the Starbucks.
Birdo leaves the Goomba while he and all the other cameo appearances head to Starbucks. Birdo talks to a Bandit.
Birdo: How can I stop Fawful?
Bandit: You mean DAD-X?
Birdo: Is that what we’re calling him now?
Bandit: Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, I don’t know. I think there was this really lanky guy asking me the same thing a few days ago.
Birdo: Woah, really? Where’d he go?
Bandit: Oh, he was going off to Corona Village.
Birdo: Was he purple?
Bandit: Yeah. He also had a mustache.
Birdo: Was he very weak, but still kept going on about his strength?
Bandit: You know him?
Birdo: Kinda... I’m going now.
Bandit: ‘Kay. Try not to get shot by DAD-X.
Birdo heads out onto the world map.
Birdo: Plit sure is different...
On the way north to Corona Village, she passes by a tower with swirly eyes and a toothy grin painted on the front.
Birdo: I’m just gonna guess that’s Fawful’s base...
Birdo keeps going and notices a similar version of the tower, only smaller and fancier. And it’s surrounded by mountains.
Birdo: How am I supposed to reach that?!
She continues forward until she reaches Corona Village.
Birdo: Well this town doesn’t look so bad-
Everything starts shaking.
Fawful’s voice: I HAVE JUDGMENT!
A giant lightning bolt strikes the city. It only hits one house though.
Birdo: Oh no!
Koopa Troopa: Yeah, it was probably a bad idea to spray paint DAD-X’s tower.
???: HELP!
Birdo: There’s only one voice that could be that whiny!
Birdo notices Waluigi holding up a house.
Waluigi: Help!
Birdo: Waluigi!
Waluigi: Oh, hey Birdo.
Birdo: So how’ve you been this past year?
Waluigi: Year?
Birdo: Yeah, it’s been a year since all this started...
Waluigi: Uh, no... It’s been about a week... give or take a day maybe.
Birdo: ... Oh, I’d so kill Elvin if he wasn’t already dead!
Waluigi: Can you help me? There’s a kid in this house and I’m the only one holding it up.
Birdo: No, it’s dangerous to go into collapsing houses!
Waluigi: But-
The house collapses on Waluigi.
Squeek: Oh, my mistake. I don’t even have any kids!
Birdo: ...
One search team and a 1-Up Mushroom later...
Waluigi: So... what now?
Birdo: We’re going to look for DAD-X!
Waluigi: What about my brother? If he’s lost somewhere, he’s gonna charge me for not finding him sooner!
Birdo: Waluigi, we don’t even know if he’s alive anymore! For all we know, we could be the only ones from the group left alive!
Waluigi: Wait... That means I can get the glory for killing Fawful! AND that means I outlived Game Guy! Ha!
Birdo: Uh-huh, let’s just go...
The pair leave Corona Village and reach a very long piece of land.
Birdo: What is this?
Waluigi: Oh, it’s what’s left of the current that took me, Toadsworth, and Yoshi all the way to Seaside Town from Bumpsy Plains. I wonder if Monstro Town is still there...
The two travel across the land and reach Monstro Town at the very end.
Birdo: No one’s here, and the place is half-flooded.
Waluigi: C’est La Vie.
Birdo: ... Excuse me?
Waluigi: Hey look!
Chomp Country: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK-
Waluigi throws a rock at the Red Chomps and they whimper and hide behind a tree.
Goombario: Who’s hitting the- Eep! Intruders!
Goombario runs into a building. Birdo and Waluigi follow Goombario into the house and into the basement. Goombario goes into a room.
Waluigi: Drat, he’s hiding behind a door! We’ve been beat.
Birdo: You really are stupid, aren’t you?
Birdo opens the door.
Waluigi: BU- WHAAAA?
Birdo and Waluigi enter the room. It’s full of all the kids from Monstro Town as well as Koops and Koopie-Koo.
Goombario’s voice: Someone’s invading the town!
Familiar voice: Don’t worry, I’ll talk to them.
Spiderman appears.
Birdo/Waluigi: Spiderman?!
Spiderman: Yeah, just your friendly neighborhood spider taking care of all the kids here because they’re all that’s left.
Birdo: What do you mean?
Spiderman: Well DAD-X zapped this town once and all the adults died.
Waluigi: *gasp* Even the Postman?!
Spiderman: Nah, but he left after that. He just started running along the path to Seaside Town and we never saw him again.
Vivian appears and hits Spiderman with a broom.
Vivian: No, bad spider!
Spiderman: Hss!
Spiderman flees.
Vivian: Sorry about that, he likes to break in- Birdo! Waluigi!
Birdo: Hi Vivian!
Waluigi: Is what the magical talking spider saying true, Vivian?
Vivian: *sigh* It is... I woke up nearby and wandered in, and now I’m taking care of all of these kids.
Waluigi: So you’re not gonna help us kill DAD-X?
Vivian: ... Who?
Birdo: That’s what everyone’s calling Fawful now.
Vivian: Oh. I’d love to, but some force is keeping me here, so... Good luck with that.
Waluigi: But... You’re the main character! ... Oh well, more screentime for me.
Voice: HOLY SMOKES! Dry Bowser’s here!
Vivian: The monster that appeared when Fawful messed up the world?! But how?!
Birdo: Yeah, Bowser’s already a character in this story! Even though we didn’t see him...
Vivian: I’ll handle this.
Vivian goes outside.
Vivian: All right, Dry Bowser, show yourself!
Dry Bowser splashes up from the water.
Dry Bowser: HIIIIII!!!
Vivian: Eek!
Dry Bowser jumps and lands on the ground near Vivian.
Dry Bowser: ROOOOOARRR!!!
Vivian: Fiery Jinx!
Vivian casts the spell but it has no effect on Dry Bowser.
Dry Bowser: Nope!
Vivian tries her other attacks but they’re not working.
Dry Bowser: And I’m done here.
Dry Bowser swings a giant bone like a bat and knocks Vivian into a tree. Birdo and Waluigi run out of the house.
Birdo: He beat Vivian! Well now it’s our turn!
Waluigi: (He defeated Vivian with a single hit. I’ll have to give this some serious thought.)
Waluigi becomes the Thinker.
Birdo: Now’s not the time!
Dry Bowser: Here it comes!
Birdo spits a fireball in Dry Bowser’s face while he’s about to swing.
Dry Bower: AAAHHH!!! I’LL BE BACK!
Dry Bowser jumps into the water and swims away.
Waluigi: So, uh, Vivian? You okay?
Vivian: ... I’ll be fine...
They help her out of the tree.
Vivian: Friends... I’m not fit to fight Fawful, that fiend.
Waluigi: ‘Cause the durable dead dragon downed you during the decisive and draining fight?
Birdo: ... What’s up with you guys? Well anyway, Vivian, good luck with the village, we’re gonna get the glory for killing Fawful now.
After a while, Birdo and Waluigi reach Seaside Town.
Random Toad: Did you hear about the pack of thieves that came here?
Waluigi: Huh?
Random Toad: Yeah, when Diamond Castle got stuck underground, the thieves that were locked up all got out. Their leader got a Game Over and a guy called the Purple Wind took over.
Wario, wearing his thief disguise, heads past with a bunch of red Bandits.
Purple Wind: C’mon, we don’t have all day! For each person in the castle that’s dead, I’m charging you!
Red Bandit: But why do you care about them?
Purple Wind’s voice: Shut up!
They head to the dock.
Waluigi: Wario!
Birdo: Hmm...