Chapter 16: Dancing Fury
Everyone appears at the very peak of Fawful Tower.
Vivian: Where are we?
I just said.
Dark Fawful floats down, using dark magic and no technology.
Dark Fawful: I say to you “Welcome”! Are you all liking what Fawful has done to the place since last we were meeting on the island of the fink-rat Wart?
Waluigi: What?
Dodo: What?
Dark Fawful notices Dodo and DK.
Dark Fawful: So some new friends were made by you!
Dodo: So some new friends were made by you!
Birdo: Fawful, we’re going to stop you once and for all!
Dark Fawful: I have chortles! This idea of yours of me being stopped is humorous! Fawful has all the power of the world! Be watching!
Dark Fawful turns Wario into a duck and then changes him back. Dark Fawful then strikes lightning that nearly hits Luvbi.
Luvbi: AAAH!
Grambi: Luvbi!
DK: FAWFUL BAD!
P.T.: Dude, seriously.
Dark Fawful: Have silence!
Dodo: Have silence!
Dark Fawful: Especially the fink-rat with the metal helmet!
Dodo: Especially-
Dark Fawful uses his power to lift Dodo and smash him onto the ground.
Dark Fawful: I have boredom! A god am I, but the Dark Star has taught Fawful that it is pointless! One day each of us could get a Game Over! Why be bothering with the things in life?
Wario: Oh great, a “life is pointless” freak...
Popple: Well you’re supposed to make the most out of it! It’s like stealing - every day there’s another chance that you can hit the jackpot!
Birdo: Not the best analogy, dear...
Popple: *under his breath* I’m not your dear.
Dark Fawful: FINK-RATS! You have found an olive in the over-cooked sandwich of a world that belongs to Fawful?!
Vivian: Yes! I have people to care about back in Monstro Town.
Popple: I learned that it’s creepy to cling to your corpse of a girlfriend!
Wario: I’m just in this for the money...
Waluigi: I’m proving that I’m not a wimp!
Birdo: I’m fighting for my love!
P.T.: Um... Pop-Tarts are nice.
Toadsworth: My family! You’ve killed them!
Yoshi: Yoshi want keep you away from father!
Grambi: My daughter...
Luvbi: ... My dad.
Cudge: All the other Pixls that died... somehow. I don’t understand how that happened.
DK: BECAUSE!
Dodo: Because!
Dark Fawful: ... I HAVE CHORTLES! Half of those reasons are of having stupidity! Which is due to the fact that half of you are of being morons! The rest are being cheesy! Fink-rats! I have fury! All the “power of love”, “power of friendship” mayonnaise is unwanted on Fawful’s sandwich of power!
Cudge: I could go for a sandwich, actually...
Dark Fawful: SILENCE! I HAVE FURY! FAWFUL WILL DESTROY THE THINGS THAT ARE BEING CARED ABOUT BY YOU! THEN YOU SHALL BE SEEING IT FAWFUL’S WAY!
Toadsworth: But you already did that with me! And I still want to kill you!
Dark Fawful: ... I HAVE JUDGMENT!
Dark Fawful starts shooting lasers all over the world, like when he shot the village in Chapter 10.
Dark Fawful: FURY! FURY! FURY! FURY!
Vivian gets closer to him.
Vivian: Fawful, knock it off! Even if you do destroy everything, we’ll still keep going!
Popple: Kind of like that rabbit with the drum!
Dark Fawful: Fawful did the destroying of that bunny! But fine... Be preparing... for the fury of Fawful!
Dark Fawful lifts a mountain from underneath himself and then jumps off the peak and into the air. The mountain transforms into a tower of monsters.
Vivian: Guys, Fawful’s not gonna make this easy on us, we’d better tackle this in teams.
Cudge: Right, we’ll take care of the base!
ROUND 1!
Cudge, P.T., Dodo, and DK are face to face with the giant Dark Bug Fawful, which is the base of the monster tower. The antenna that leads to the Dark Star Core goes much higher. The four party members just stare at the beast for a while.
Cudge: Oh! Uhh, attack!
Cudge leads the four of them to attack, but the Dark Bug’s arms grab two heroes in each hand and smash them all together.
All: OW!
Cudge: Why I oughta-
Cudge tries attacking again, but one of the legs kicks him away.
DK: PUNCH!
While the leg was kicking, DK grabs onto it and starts rapidly punching the leg, destroying it. Dark Bug is now breathing heavily.
Dodo: Punch!
Dodo grabs another leg and does the same thing.
Cudge: Aha! Throw me!
P.T.: Okay.
While the Dark Bug’s hands are reaching for DK and Dodo, P.T. throws Cudge at the bug’s eyes. Cudge smacks his head against one of the red lenses, shattering them.
Dark Bug: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
One of the hands covers the broken eye, but Cudge is fast enough to get the other eye while Dodo, DK, and P.T. are free to let the remaining leg have it.
Dark Bug: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The Dark Bug as a whole turns to stone. The area of the floor that the rest of the party is on rises up to the next tier of the tower, leaving Cudge and his team down below.
P.T./DK/Dodo: Aaah!
Cudge: Hey!
ROUND 2!
Toadsworth: My turn!
Toadsworth, Yoshi, Grambi, and Luvbi are up against the next part of the tower, which has a dark Chain Chomp sticking out front and three clones of Cackletta growing out.
All: EWW!
Cackletta 1: Power!
Cackletta 2: Knowledge!
Cackletta 3: Magic!
Chomp: I’m just here!
Luvbi floats up to Knowledge Cackletta.
Luvbi: Hey, I heard you’re a computer whiz, could you help me with my laptop?
Knowledge Cackletta: Yeah, what is it?!
Luvbi shows Knowledge Cackletta something on her laptop, but then Knowledge Cackletta starts freaking out and melts.
Luvbi: You got hacked!
Grambi tries using magic on Magic Cackletta and Yoshi tries brute force against Power Cackletta, but they’re not doing so good.
Yoshi: Maybe we trade?
Grambi: Good idea.
They do.
Yoshi: Darkrai, Yoshi choose you!
Yoshi unleashes Darkrai from his Master Ball.
Darkrai: HRRRR!!!
Darkrai puts Magic Cackletta to sleep and gives her nightmares.
Magic Cackletta: No Mommy, I don’t want to go to school!
Yoshi ground pounds Magic Cackletta, causing her to melt. Grambi, though, just spams all the best spells on Power Cackletta.
Chomp: Umm...
Toadsworth unsheathes his hidden sword and proceeds to make the Chained Chomp into Chopped Chomp. All the monsters on this tier are dead, so the ground rises again, leaving Toadsworth, Grambi, Luvbi, and Yoshi behind.
All: No!
ROUND 3!
The remaining heroes are facing off against the top of the tower: the Dark Star Core, with Dark Bowser standing on a dark cloud right in front of it.
Game Guy: Don’t worry, I’ve got it!
Wario: I’m not letting you upstage me!
Waluigi: Or me!
Birdo: I’ve had it with this thing!
Waluigi: Hey, us four are the original party members of this half of the game!
Game Guy: So?
Wario: Shut up, Waluigi!
Dark Bowser: ONE OF YOU SHALL AUTOMATICALLY DIE WHEN THIS ROUND ENDS!
The four party members gulp. Dark Bowser starts breathing all kinds of dark fireballs while the Dark Star Core keeps a protective shield up around Dark Bowser.
Birdo: Game Guy, you’ve got to lift me up!
Game Guy: Okay... Why?
Birdo: We’re gonna hit the core, that way Dark Bowser’s defenseless!
Game Guy: Coo’.
Game Guy flies up and lifts Birdo.
Game Guy: You’re heavy!
Birdo: Are you saying I’m fat?!
Game Guy carries Birdo over to the Dark Star Core. Birdo then shoots tons of eggs and fireballs at the core.
Dark Star Core: !!!
The core withers up and snaps off.
Dark Bowser: HOW COULD YOU?! YOU SHALL DIE!
Wario: Oh no you don’t!
Dark Bowser notices Wario after it’s too late. Wario is behind Dark Bowser. The king proceeds to grab the Dark Koopa’s tail and swing him around before throwing him to Waluigi.
Wario: HEY WALUIGI, TRY NOT TO MESS UP!
Waluigi: Okay! (Finally! Time to prove-)
Dark Bowser lands on Waluigi. Shouldn’t have been going on that inner monologue.
Wario: Ugh...
But wait! Waluigi manages to worm his way out from under Dark Bowser and stomps on his face. Suddenly Game Guy dies, but since he’s holding Birdo, she goes down into the abyss with him.
Waluigi: Game Guy! I’m sorry for hating you!
Birdo’s voice: It’s cool, I’ve got a 1-Up!
Waluigi: Oh, okay.
ROUND 4!
But then the brothers are left alone because the last part of the platform rises. Vivian and Popple are alone above the clouds.
Popple: Umm... Now what?
A larger, more menacing version of Dark Fawful, complete with wings and an antenna, lowers down.
Dark Fawful: GAME OVER!
Vivian/Popple: AAAAAHHH!!!
Dark Fawful: Everything... Everything will be having destruction after this! Towns, Midbus, emotions! Such things give Fawful fury! ... CHEATING ATTACK!
Dark Fawful reduces Vivian and Popple to 1 HP... except this isn’t an RPG-style battle.
Popple: Hey! No fair!
Dark Fawful starts blasting all kinds of spells at Vivian and Popple. The two are running around the cloud meadow to avoid them.
Dark Fawful: You cannot be running away for all time!
Vivian: Take this!
Vivian becomes Star Vivian. Popple steals her hat to keep it clean.
Star Vivian: Fawful, this is it!
Dark Fawful: YES, I HAVE AGREEMENT!
Dark Fawful keeps going with the spells but Star Vivian dodges them and tries to hit Dark Fawful with one of her own, but it doesn’t work. Star Vivian falls to the ground (clouds) near Popple.
Popple: He’s still got the Dark Star somewhere on him! Maybe if I can steal it, he’ll lose power!
Star Vivian: I didn’t think of that.
Dark Fawful: There shall be no thinking! The end shall be coming, beyond the darkness of Fawful and the Dark Star!
Dark Fawful starts flying around and chasing them.
Star Vivivan/Popple: DEAR SWEET DAD!
Dark Fawful: THAT’S DAD-X TO YOU!
Star Vivian grabs Popple and picks him up. She turns and starts flying around Dark Fawful.
Dark Fawful: STAY IN ONE PLACE! YOU SHALL NOT BE MAKING ME DIZZY!
Star Vivian tosses Popple and keeps flying, to keep Dark Fawful distracted. Popple pulls the Dark Star out of Dark Fawful’s pocket and jumps off.
Popple: I’ll be taking this, see?
Dark Fawful: WHAT?!
Suddenly the enemy becomes plain old, regular Fawful.
Fawful: !!!
Fawful falls onto the clouds in front of Star Vivian.
Fawful: ... Fury?
Star Vivian: Goodbye.
Star Vivian blasts him to death. There’s no trace of him.
Popple: We did it! But what about this?
Dark Star: *comically high-pitched voice* Release me!
Star Vivian zaps the Dark Star as well, so now it’s destroyed.
Popple: Oh, that was easy.
Suddenly the two fall through the clouds.
Both: AAAHHHHHH!!!
Normal Vivian and Popple wake up on the platform where the whole party first confronted Dark Fawful. The platform has lowered itself and everyone’s together again.
Game Guy: Hey guys, I’m better!
Waluigi: (Shoot.)
Popple: Phew... That fight was intense!
Cudge: I’ll say.
Dodo: I’ll say.
DK: HOW LEAVE?
Everyone: ...
Waluigi: (horrified) We walk!
Everyone: AWWWWW!!!
There’s rumbling.
Waluigi: Scratch that, we RUN!
Luvbi: Now what is it?!
Birdo: Well the Dark Star’s power was holding this place together. Popple, honey, what happened to the Dark Star?
Popple: Oh, Vivian blasted it to Kingdom Come.
A Crystal Star that Toadsworth was holding crumbles into dust. Grambi notices.
Grambi: Wasn’t the Dark Star also holding the source of all magic?
Everyone: ...
Yoshi: No more magic?
Grambi: I’m afraid not.
Another Crystal Star crumbles.
Cudge: These Star Spirits are dropping like flies! What about Vivian?
Vivian: I don’t know, but if it’s the last thing I do, I’m willing to lead us back to the Koopa Cruiser so Game Guy can get us out of here.
P.T.: You’re calm about your game over. Say, that gives me an idea-
Wario: Not now!
Vivian becomes Star Vivian.
Star Vivian: Let’s go!
Everyone runs
out.
Epilogue: The Fourteen Heroes
...
“And so everyone fled from the crumbling Fawful Tower. The party consisting of...”
TOADSWORTH SHROOM
Everyone’s running through the tower and Wario trips.
Wario: Help! Help me!
But only Toadsworth hears this and Toadsworth stays behind.
Toadsworth: Ugh...
Toadsworth starts dragging Wario’s body.
Toadsworth: This is bad for my back! At least I inexplicably got over my technophobia.
Wario: Less talking, more pulling!
Toadsworth: I could just leave you here if I want!
Wario: Ugh...
...
GAME GUY
Everyone reaches a fork.
Game Guy: I’ve got an idea! Wario, pick that door!
Wario: ‘Kay.
Wario opens the door on the right. A monster nearly bites his head off.
Game Guy: Okay, we go the other way.
Wario: Grrrr!!! I don’t like the treatment I’m getting in this ending montage!
Birdo: Not now, Wario, you can complain on the ship.
Wario: But, but-
Game Guy: Guys, get a move on!
A rock nearly smashes Wario and Birdo.
Both: Waa!
Game Guy: See?
...
WARIO WARIO AND WALUIGI WARIO
Wario is shoulder-ramming a locked door, but that causes a girder to nearly fall on him. Waluigi runs out and catches it all by himself.
Everyone Else: WOAH!
Waluigi: See?! I told you I was strong!
Waluigi bangs the girder into the wall, making a hole. He then drops the girder into the abyss.
Wario: Okay, fine, I believe you!
Wario hands him a bag of coins equal to the amount of money that Waluigi has paid him over the course of the story.
Waluigi: Thank you.
Everyone runs through the hole Waluigi made.
...
CUDGE THE PIXL
Everyone reaches a chasm, but only Star Vivian, Game Guy, the Nimbis, and Cudge get across, in that order.
Wario: Hey! Idiot! Hit the switch to form the bridge!
Cudge: Oh. Sorry.
Cudge hits a switch and the bridge forms. Everyone else crosses.
Wario: That’s more like it!
Cudge: Is there a motto for this situation?
Birdo: Who cares?
Cudge: Me!
Birdo: Get over this motto fixation already!
Cudge: ...
...
DONKEY KONG
Everyone reaches another locked door.
Birdo: If only we had another girder for Waluigi.
DK: DONKEY SMASH!
DK pounds the ground, causing all the nearby walls to crumble.
Birdo: ... Or that.
Everyone continues on their way out.
Cudge: Good job. You’re getting a raise!
DK: DONKEY DO GOOD!
Cudge: Yes, yes.
DK: WANT BANANA!
Cudge: Later.
DK: ...
Cudge: All right, fine! Hold on...
...
DODO THE BIRD
Everyone reaches a pair of switches.
Birdo: No girders or gorillas, now we need Koops’s shell-holding ability!
Game Guy: ... Dodo! Hit the switch at the same time as her!
Dodo: ... Dodo! Hit the switch-
Wario pushes Dodo over to the switch. Dodo and Birdo press it at the same time.
Birdo: We did it! Good job, Dodo!
Dodo: We did it! Good job, Birdo!
Everyone: !!!
Game Guy: You can say something other than what other people say?!
Dodo: Of course! I just prefer not to!
Everyone Else: 0_0
Dodo: You really shouldn’t jump to conclusions. And you say I’m dumb.
...
YOSHI DINO
Yoshi is leading Wario and Birdo through another area of the escape route.
Yoshi: Can we take shortcut?
Wario: There is no shortcut!
Yoshi: We make one!
Birdo: DK already did that before!
Yoshi: Yoshi make another one!
Yoshi grabs Wario and Birdo with his tongue, lays their eggs, and throws said eggs further down the hill.
Game Guy: I guess that could save time...
Yoshi: Game Guy’s turn!
Game Guy: No, I’ll fly.
Yoshi: Game Guy’s turn now!
Game Guy: Awwww!!!
...
BIRDO RIBBON & POPPLE BEENE
Everyone’s running along girders, with Birdo in the back. But she trips and nearly falls to her death. She’s hanging on for dear life.
Birdo: Oh, if only some brave, handsome man would save me!
Game Guy: Well I don’t know if I’m handsome, but-
Birdo: Brave, handsome, BEANISH man.
Game Guy: ...
Popple: But-
Star Vivian: Just go help her!
Popple: (Ugh... She doesn’t quit! ... Fine, but I won’t like it!)
Popple goes back for Birdo and picks her up.
Popple: Fine, I’ll go out with you! But if it gets weird, I’m out!
Birdo: Yay!
Everyone continues out.
Birdo: We should name our first kid-
Popple: Hey! Not so fast there!
...
VIVIAN NIGHTSHADE
Star Vivian is leading everyone else through a hallway when Leafeon’s Crystal Star shows up.
Leafeon’s voice: Vivian, it’s time for your dad to die now.
Star Vivian: No! We never got to bond!
Leafeon: Sorry.
Star Vivian: W-Will I die?
Leafeon: I don’t know.
Star Vivian: ... Any clues at all?
Leafeon: Eh, I dunno. Something about love or something. Daddy loves you!
Then the Star crumbles.
Birdo: So are you going to-
Star Vivian: I have no clue.
Game Guy: Oh well.
Star Vivian: ...
...
LUVBI HART
Luvbi is floating along, trying to carry Grambi.
Luvbi: You’re heavy!
Grambi: I’m just big-boned!
Luvbi: Why am I carrying you?!
Grambi: I tripped and couldn’t get up. You saw it happen to Wario before!
Luvbi: He was lazy and faking!
Grambi: You’re catching on. Daddy’s so proud!
Luvbi: ... I hate this.
Grambi: Doing things you hate builds character.
Luvbi: No one ever wants to build character!
Grambi: Yes, sad, isn’t it?
Luvbi: ... No.
...
P.T. PIRANHA
Near the exit, P.T. stops and everyone else passes. P.T. pulls out Grim Reaper.
P.T.: Okay guy, time to go for you.
P.T. pulls out bacon and throws it. Grim Reaper follows the others and pulls out a toaster.
P.T.: Torpedo Ted! I got Grambi’s toaster! I’m taking it to the Overthere so we can have that awesome toast party! Just you wait!
P.T. goes off into a nook.
P.T.: ... Maybe there’s a less deadly way to get there... Oh well, story’s over anyway. Not like dieing has stopped me before.
...
GRAMBI HART
At the escape, Grambi is the last one to get on the Koopa Cruiser, except it’s starting without him!
Grambi: HEY! Come back!
Birdo’s voice: There’s no time! You have to fly!
Luvbi’s voice: Flying builds character!
Grambi: ... Darn. She got me.
Grambi tries his hardest to fly up to the ship and catch up with it. With all his might, Grambi lands on deck.
Grambi: Don’t do that!
Everyone Else: Sorry.
...
AND YOU... WHO DID NOTHING. WAY TO HELP OUT.
...
Everyone but P.T. is on the Koopa Cruiser.
Toadsworth: We’re not out yet, there’s some kind of tunnel we have to go through!
Star Vivian: I’ll lead the way.
Game Guy: Is that necessary?
Star Vivian: ... I’ll lead the way.
Dodo: I’ll lead the way.
Waluigi: No. Weren’t you listening, Vivian will do that for us.
Cudge: Wait, aren’t we missing P.T.?
Everyone: ...
Wario: Who cares?
Cudge: Good point.
The ship starts and Star Vivian leads the way. Soon they’re free.
Everyone but Vivian: Yay!
Star Vivian reverts back to Vivian and falls.
Everyone but Vivian: Not yay!
Game Guy: I got her!
Game Guy steers the ship downward quick enough for Vivian to land on the deck. Hard.
Vivian: Ow.
Popple: You’d be saying more than “ow” if we didn’t catch you!
Vivian: True...
Meanwhile...
Koopie Koo: Koops, I’m gonna have the baby now.
Koops: Waaa!
Meanwhile...
Wario: Who cares about that?!
Vivian: Well I was kind of concerned about it back before you picked me up in Monstro Town.
Waluigi: Hey down there, stuff’s going on! Everyone’s celebrating!
Toadsworth: ’Kay.
Cudge: How about you fly this ship forward really fast and see where we go?
Game Guy: ‘Kay. Everyone fine with that?
Everyone else but Waluigi: Doesn’t matter.
Waluigi: Actually I’m a little airsick-
Game Guy: All right, here we go! GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Koopa Cruiser goes even faster.
...
Cast:
Terra - Vivian
Locke - Popple
Edgar - Wario
Sabin - Waluigi
Celes - Birdo
Shadow - P.T.
Cyan - Toadsworth
Gau - Yoshi
Setzer - Game
Guy
Mog - Cudge
Strago - Grambi
Relm - Luvbi
Gogo - Dodo
Umaro - Donkey
Kong
Interceptor -
Grim Reaper
Kefka - Fawful
??? - Midbus
Gestahl - Wart
Leo - Mario
Cid - Elvin
??? - Dimentio
Banon - Jigsaw
Arvis - Jarvis
Darill - Game
Girl
Ultros - Gooper
Blooper
Typhon - Petey
Piranha
Siegfried - Shadow
Mario
Biggs and Wedge
- Greaper and Dry Bones
Rachel - Bobble
Baram - Torpedo
Ted
Gungho - Rebbi
Opera Man - Flavio
...
What happened
to everyone?
Vivian: Vivian
returned to Monstro Town and continued raising everyone.
Popple: Popple went out with Birdo. He later ran off with all her money.
Wario: Wario went off to Sub-con to start up a video game company.
Waluigi: Waluigi ruled Diamond Castle while Wario was gone.
Birdo: Birdo never did find Popple after he left, but she started an opera career.
P.T.: P.T. was later recovered from the ruins of Fawful Tower, claiming to be made of iron or whatever Liquid Snake is made of. But he lost the toaster. No party for him.
Toadsworth: With no king to oppose him, Toadsworth became the king of Mushroom Castle.
Yoshi: Yoshi and his father are now in a parental counseling class.
Game Guy: Game Guy made much money at his new casino with Popple as a business partner.
Grambi: Grambi returned to Over as a hero for beating Cortez and then Fawful.
Luvbi: Luvbi upgraded to a newer model of laptop.
Cudge: Cudge rebuilt Fahr Outpost from the ground up with the help of DK, Croco, and Cowboy Jed. Also Dry Bones and Greaper were released from Limbo and had to help.
Dodo: Dodo’s copying powers got him to be an actor for Flavio’s opera. He was an understudy for the actor playing Popple in Beanbrad and Birdy II.
Donkey Kong: DK got bananas for helping rebuild Fahr Outpost.
Gooper Blooper: Gooper Blooper and Petey Piranha managed to buy their way into becoming the owners of the Glitz Pit. Shadow Mario helped.
Everyone else that isn’t dead pretty much had a normal life from that point on.
...
The Koopa Cruiser flies across the sky.
DK: WHEE!
Dodo: Whee!
Luvbi: This is cool!
Grambi: More like dangerous.
Cudge: Can we stop at Wendy’s?
Game Guy: No, I decide when this ride is over!
Yoshi: Flying fun!
Toadsworth: I say, it certainly is.
P.T.’s voice: I live! Oh well. But where’s that toaster...?
Birdo: Popple, look at the birds!
Waluigi: (I’m gonna be sick...)
Wario: WAHAHA!
Popple: Yeah, yeah...
Vivian: ... All is well.
The ship flies into the horizon.
THE END
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