The Grand Adventure of Mario and Kazooie

By Spiker Koopa

Chapter 10: The Finale is at hand!!!
Mario and the gang climb to a note door, show 736 notes, and enter. They then follow the path to a warp panel and appear at a game show.
Mario: Where are we?
Lemmy: I think we are at one of those toxic waste facilities!
Luigi: I think I’m going to be sick!
Kazooie: Still not forgiven, Luigi!!!
Luigi: ...
A Grunty Puppet stands at the microphone stand.
Grunty?: Hello, and welcome to my game of doom! Here on this show, things go out with a BOOM!
Mario: Hmm... You rhyme like her...
Luigi: Well I want to play this game! What do we win?
Grunty?: If you win first prize, you win a princess-
On the prize selections, Peach is standing on the top prize panel.
Peach: Help me, Mario!!!
Grunty?: If you don’t, she will be quite a mess!
Lemmy: Okay, how do we play?
Kazooie: We don’t have to! I’ll go fly over there and-
Grunty?: If you cheat in this game of heat, you and your friends will be beat!
Mario: Fine... Let’s get this over with!
The gang steps on the first panel of the bridge to the winners circle. It shows a picture of Mario and Kazooie.
Grunty?: A little answer is all I seek, about this game you plumbing geek! “What was the original name of Godara, the second boss you face in the sand level?”
Luigi: I wasn’t present at the time so...
Kazooie: I was, it was name Hermy-
Mario: WRONG!!! It was Herby! And as a bonus, the original name of Herby was Snapper! The writer accidentally put his name on Snacker the shark!!!
Snacker (in audience): So that’s why my name was confusing!
Kazooie: Jeez, Mario...
Grunty?: Correct! You may move ahead two spaces for the bonus, I can’t think of a rhyme hiss!!!
The gang moves ahead and lands on a joker space.
Grunty?: “How does Boggy help you in the ice world?”
Mario: Erm, something about an INF Ice Flower?
The gang chimes in correctly and moves to the left.
Grunty?: “What is the name of the egg that Wendy Koopa wants cooked?”
Kazooie: KAZOO EGGS!!!
The gang moves to the left and lands on a music panel.
Grunty?: A question on the sounds I play, get it wrong to make my day! “Please listen to the voice of_______”
Bellowing laughter sounds out from the game show.
Lemmy: I remember! That was the guy with the snow! Bleak!
The gang moves up onto a visual panel, it shows a picture of sandy stepping letters. They guess Treasure Trove Cove and move ahead onto another Mario and Kazooie step. They guess that right too and move onto a pink clock space....
Conkey: Well well, if it isn’t you guys... You have 2 seconds to tell me what I am thinking!!!
Mario: That’s not-
Conkey: Done! I was thinking of time!
Grunty: Now that you got it wrong, Peach will be singing a new song!
A lava pit appears under Peach’s stand.
Grunty?: You have 5 more chances to miss, if you don’t... give Peach a kiss!
Luigi: That’s pure evil!
Conkey: Whatever, you’d better hope you don’t run into me!
Mario: Let’s just find the shortest way possible...
The Gang walks onto another lefty step and this time, it has a picture of Gruntilda....
Grunty?:  I think it’s time, let me see... how much you know of little old me! “What fabric do I use to make this witchy coat?”
The Gang: Err...
A magical nice witch comes out from the audience and flies to the gang.
Brentilda:  (whispering in Mario’s ear) I am Grunty’s sister, I see I haven’t helped you out, so I will give you the answers to her evil questions! The answer is LEatHer SwamP MONstErs.
Mario repeats the answer.
Grunty?: Say now I can’t see, is Brentilda out there talking about me? How did you get that one right, the very gruesome sight!
Lemmy: We are psychics... duh!
The Gang moves forward again and lands on a joker card.
Grunty?: “How many Bananas did Conga require to give up a Jiggy?
Mario: Um, none?
Grunty?: None-
Kazooie: None is right! Chimpy was the one who gave Mario the Jiggy, Conga was the one who had to forgive Chimpy!
They answer the question right and get a free space whenever they need it, but only once. They move forward onto a red skull space....
Grunty?: This one will bring me such a thrill, this one, if you get wrong, it  will kill! “How many acorns did you have to collect in Click-Clock Woods?”
Lemmy: I know that! Seven acorns!
The gang moves away from doom and moves forward on another Grunty Space. They get it right with help from Brentilda, and move forward again. They use their two joker spaces to move up two spaces and left. They then move onto their next question.
Grunty?: “What music theme is this?”

Kazooie: That’s that one with the cemetery version of your lair!
Grunty?: Correct again, so it seems, but will you get Peach and redeem?

The Gang moves left onto a clock space.
Conkey: 1 second to think up a new sequel to this story!
Kazooie: Hey Time Brain, Mario Tooie!!!
Conkey disappears and the gang moves forward onto a blue space.
Grunty?: “What was Bleak’s first form supposed to resemble in the half battle?”
Mario: Like Bowser’s Clown Coputer I think?
They get it right and move forward again onto another time space. Conkey appears but is suddenly punched by Lemmy and this somehow counts as a correct answer. They move onto another Grunty space.
Grunty: “Name of my favorite food!”

Brentilda: *to Luigi* It is SLiMY CHEeSe SticKS.
Luigi repeats the answer and the whole gang moves to the right onto another Grunty space.
Grunty?: “What do I brush my teeth with?”
Brentilda: *to Kazooie* MolDy TootH DEcADe PASte!
They get that question right and move right again onto a joker space. They get it right and use it immediately and skip ahead right one space with a clock.
Conkey: 4 seconds to tell me my last name!
Lemmy: CrazyClock!!!
Conkey: Lucky guess...
The gang moves forward and lands on a blue space.
Grunty: What is the name of the Blubbering captain?
Mario: Really... that easy? It’s captain Blubber!
The gang moves forward onto a doom space.
Grunty?: How many Jiggies can you collect in this whole adventure?
Mario: Let me recount... 10 for this lair... now then, how many levels were there, Kazooie?
Kazooie: Like, 9, so that’s 90 Jiggies, and the answer is you could get 100!
They succeed in getting it right. They then move to the right and land on another Grunty Space, which they get wrong for the first time since Brentilda was restrained from helping. They only have 4 more chances as they move onto the last space...
Grunty?: Prepare for super rhyming. This space is out of place for it is the last so make haste and be sure not to use a mace and tie your shoelace!
Mario: MY EARS!!!
Grunty?: “Where was the first Jiggy located?”
Mario: On a pile of rocks, near your first level!
Bowser walks into the gameshow.
Bowser: Well, how are you doing, plumbers?
Luigi: Okay, but we need, Peach! And for you to die!
Bowser: Hahaha! Good one! But in all likelihood, I am afraid I am the ruler of this whole world!
Kazooie: You lie! What happened to Grunty? I know that is just a fake!
Bowser: Just a puppet. Well I made sure that my royal guards and general-
Kamek: SIR! The general released Grunty, and our whole army has vanished!!! He was a fake Koopa named Klungo! Grunty must have put a spell on him and made him look like our real general!
Bowser: Well what happened to the general? I think his name was Spiker?
Meanwhile on an island resort…
Spiker: (drinking a smoothie) Yep, this is the good life...
Back on the gameshow…
Bowser: Err... What about my kids?
Kamek: They were trapped in the jail cell you put Grunty in!
Lemmy: Glad I joined you. Mario...
Bowser: Err... We have to run!!!
Bowser and Kamek run up to the final room.
Mario: Well, let’s finish up and get back Peach!

Kazooie: I don’t have to help anymore! Call me a baby... but I want to be done!
Mario: But we need you to help out!
Luigi: We don’t know what is waiting for us up there!
Kazooie: Fine... But we’d better have a celebration when we win...
The gang gets off the board and heads up to the final room. They enter a small room with a fully uncompleted Jiggy puzzle. They fit in the picture and see a picture of Bowser, with something odd in the background.
Mario: Hey look! The door has opened!
A huge door opens, leading into a small room with Dingpot.
Dingpot: Greetings Heroes... I suppose you want me to take you to the top of Grunty’s Lair...
Mario: Yes please!
Lemmy: I would like to get my site back.
Dingpot: Well hop in to my cauldron mix and watch as I shoot you to the tip-top!
The Gang walks into Dingpot and is launched up to the top.
Mario: All right then, come on out, Bowser!
Bowser walks out of the shadows.
Bowser: Well hello there, Plumber. I see you actually came!
Mario: Let’s just get this over with!
Lemmy: Yeah Dad, you know he is going to defeat you!
Kazooie: Bowser, in my opinion, seems to fail in every adventure Mario has ever had...
Bowser: Well then, prepare for the great beyond!
Bowser tries to jump at Mario, but is stopped by a magic spell.
Bowser: Hey, let me at him!
Grunty flies out of the lair and to the top of it using her magic broom.
Grunty: So, turning against me? That will be a felony!
Bowser: Errrgh! Can-t- move!
Grunty: You can go back down with your friends and kids. To the jail cell, where I once hid!
Grunty casts another spell and sends Bowser down into Grunty’s room and into a jail cell with Bowser’s family.
Mario: Well, I knew it would be just you and I! Well, and my friends...
Kazooie, Luigi, Lemmy: YEAH!!!
Grunty: I will chop your heads off and put them in my hall, for this will be quite a brawl!

FINALBATTLE!!!!!111oneone!!!1!1!!:  Gruntilda WinkyBunion
Grunty starts the battle off by trying to hit Mario and Kazooie with her broom just like in B.K. Mario avoids all these strikes and hits her when her broom ceases to move.
Grunty: YEOW! That, you will pay for; I will have to give you more!
Grunty tries to ram over Luigi and Lemmy this time, but with a little more speed. She ends up hitting Luigi once and stopping again due to technical difficulties with her broom. Lemmy spits out a fireball at Grunty.
Grunty: OUCH! Now plumber and Koopa will learn pain, for the next attacks will never feel the same!
Grunty starts to cast fire spells at Mario and Luigi, but both of them jump over the fireballs.
Grunty: Magic spell of Mario Homing, stop Mario and his incessant roaming!
Grunty casts a green sphere of light to follow Mario ‘til he is hit by it. Mario gets hit by the spell and is hurt a lot. But Grunty left herself wide open and Kazooie shoots her blue eggs at her until Grunty lets out one shriek of pain.
Grunty: Time for a pace of change, to keep me away from heroes... I stay away from range!
Grunty flies away from the battleground and onto the sides of the tower, from where she shoots more fireballs. But as she pauses to cast more, Luigi takes Kazooie and uses her to shoot eggs at Grunty.
Grunty: Ouch! I wasn’t ready! Now I feel all faint and unsteady!
Grunty flies into the air and very high this time.
Grunty: See and try to hit me, you won’t, what a pity!
A voice echoes out of nowhere.
Peach: You guys can do this, I believe you can! And somehow... you will find a way to fly...
The voice stops and a fly panel comes out in the middle of the battlefield.
Mario: Hey Lemmy, Luigi... do you guys have anything that will let you fly?
Lemmy: I can makes myself some wings, but only for me.
Luigi: I’ll just stay here... on the ground...
Mario: Okay then, let’s go!
Mario steps on the fly panel with Kazooie and is lifted into the air. Lemmy uses his last wand power to make himself some wings and flies himself up to Grunty. Mario attacks first by hitting Grunty with a beak charge.
Grunty: Ouch. That attack really stung, now face some spells I brung!
Grunty tries to fire more fireball spells at Mario and Kazooie, but she continues to miss. Lemmy comes from behind and charges his shell into her. She gets even more mad and shoots another fireball at Luigi, who gets hit because he was on the ground moping. Mario beak charges with Kazooie into Grunty again.
Grunty: That pointy beak did not miss, but let’s see if it can get through this!
Grunty puts up a magic shield that protects her from damage. Mario and Lemmy drop back down to the ground.
Mario: Now what?!
Four Jinjo Statues pop up from the ground.
Jinjo: For setting us free, we will help Mario and friends!
Grunty: I hid you guys well, for being bad. Don’t help the plumber, you get me mad!
Luigi: I think that we should take Kazooie’s eggs and put them into the statue slots.
Mario: I think so too. So Kazooie can you give us each some eggs?
Kazooie: Aww... Fine, but what about Lemmy? He is a turtle... and they lay eggs...
Lemmy: The correct word is Koopas...
Mario, Luigi, and Lemmy get 10 eggs each from Kazooie, and they spread out to the statues. Mario puts one egg into the first statue and it breaks into a gigantic Jinjo, which attacks Grunty.
Grunty: That wasn’t fair, wasn’t ready... Jinjo people make me so unsteady!
Mario: You used that rhyme before.
Grunty: Shaddup Mario, you are like that fat guy Wario!
Grunty starts to try to hit Luigi, who barely puts the next two eggs into the Jinjo before being frozen on the feet. The Jinjo attacks Grunty again. While she is being hit, Lemmy and Kazooie put in 3 and 4 eggs individually into their own Jinjo statue and both of the statues come alive and attack Grunty too. Her broom breaks and she lands on the edge on her tower.
Grunty: You thought you had me beat. But look! I landed on my feet!
Grunty starts to cast spells and hits Lemmy one time and Luigi two times. These two heroes are temporary knocked out as a mighty statue pops out of the ground.
Jinjonator: I am the mighty Jinjonator... Activate me...
Grunty: I think you should run, before I beat him and spoil your fun!
Mario: This is it!
Kazooie: Let’s finish this up! Luigi, Lemmy, ready?
Lemmy and Luigi: Yep! We’re back!
Everyone gets on a side of the statue and puts in all their eggs and thus, the statue comes alive and prepares to attack Grunty multiple times. He hits her repeatedly.
Grunty: You don’t stand a chance. I am firmly rooted with this stance!
The Jinjonator charges up and finally rams Grunty off of the tower. She then plummets down into the ground.
Mario: We finally did it!
Lemmy: Gee, it sure feels good to have beaten a bad guy... Yeah right! It’s the same as beating a good guy!
Luigi: Maybe now we can take everyone who was trapped by Grunty and get them out!
Kazooie: Right then. Let’s go home and rest...
The gang leaves the whole lair and takes Peach and the Koopa family with them. They then head down Spiral Mountain and enters Banjo’s house.
Kazooie: Where is Banjo and Bottles?
Peach: Kazooie, they left a note! “To Kazooie, Bottles and I have decided to go on an adventure, feel free to relax here while I am gone, Banjo”
Kazooie: Let’s have a cookout!
The Gang uses Lemmy’s magic to teleport invitations to Plit. They invite a whole range of people from Plit.
Toadsworth: Well, thanks for inviting us!
Yoshi: Yoshi feel no left out!
Mario: The other guests should be here by now!
Kamek and Bowser’s family walk up to Mario.
Bowser: So tell me, Plumber, why did you invite us over here?!
Mario: Well I wanted to say thanks for the adventure! You too, Koopalings!
Ludwig: I knew I should have stayed with them...
Kazooie: Well, that, and I needed a favor with you, Bowser...
Bowser: Hmm?
Kazooie leads him to a huge boulder, which he pick up. She then leads the mighty Koopa to a witch-shaped spot on the ground.
Grunty: Uggh... What happened...? I feel like I got flatten-
Bowser drops the rock on the hole and traps Grunty. He ignores her threats of reappearing in Mario Tooie as he and Kazooie head back to the cookout. Suddenly a Shaman comes to the cookout with photos in his hand.
Mumbo: Me came as fast I can... to show everyone pictures of Mario Tooie...
Mario: Sounds cool! I can’t wait to star in another game!
Kazooie: Must be a bad game, it doesn’t have my name in it!
Mumbo: No... Look everyone!
Everyone sees the pictures; the first one shows a gigantic carnival with a gigantic Yoshi bouncing across the stage.

Inside Photo: “Don’t pop me Bro!”
Mario: This game seems weird already-
Mumbo: There is more!
Another picture shows a Koopaling on top of a golden god figure.
Lemmy: Wonder who that is...
Mumbo: One more...
Another photo shows a battlefield with Kazooie fighting Kamek.
Kamek: Yay, I am a boss!
Bowser: Well, I say for now, take a break...
Kamek: Fine, my Lord...
Mario: Well, let’s finish and go back home... I declare this cookout over!
And so, everyone who relaxed at the party went back to Plit except for the creatures that live in Grunty’s lair and Spiral Mountain... Mario and Luigi went to have an even bigger feast at Peach’s castle, Kazooie relaxed at Banjo’s house. Lemmy got his site and his awards back, the rest of the Koopalings went on with their normal life... well, their life, as it were. Mumbo went on to sit around his hut and sleep all day. Kamek studied his magic spells for the next game. Spiker went back to preparing Koopas to go to war. And Bowser sat around the castle as usual, having everyone, even his own family, cater to him.
Clawdia: I’m glad my family was in this story!
Karma: If I appeared then we would have some copyright issues...
Bottles: Next time... we will all see...
Link: SCRAHHH! Can’t talk.
PHANTOS67: Yeah yeah, I wasn’t included...
Toad: JOY!
Wiggler: *sniffle...*
Kazooie’s Brother Swazooie: HATE YOU ALL...
Grunty: You will all see... I will appear in “The Grand Adventure of Mario Tooie”!


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