The Amazing Race MK II

By Giga Bowser NS

Episode 12
Title: I’ve eaten diamonds before!

Phil: Previously on: The Amazing Race MK! 4 teams set out from the tropical Yoshi’s Island and raced to the Real World. In a tribute to Mario’s earliest adventures, teams climbed the Brooklyn Tower, where a raging battle with DK was once fought. Trouble began early on when Dixie & Tiny missed the flight to Toad Town.

Dixie: Everyone’s gone…

Phil: They eventually managed to catch up… but underdogs Booster & Snifit had other ideas.

Snifit: We choose to Yield Dixie & Tiny…

Phil: Tensions rose between Booster & Snifit and the other three teams, who had built a close friendship over the course of the race. Tempers flared at the Pit Stop, further driving the wedge. Now, Dixie & Tiny are Marked for Elimination. 4 teams remain…  Who will be eliminated… next?

The opening plays with no new Red “X”s.

Phil: This is Earth! And this is the impressive Brooklyn Tower! 100m high, it was abandoned and turned into a heritage site after a vicious battle was fought between Mario and Donkey Kong. At the very top, teams arrived at the tenth Pit Stop in a race around the MK. Teams had a mandatory 12-hour rest period, which allowed them to eat and sleep… However, there was not much mingling with the other teams.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
***Kat: There was a lot of animosity at the Pit Stop… No one wanted to talk to anyone.

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
***Snifit: We were being treated as outcasts. I didn’t think that was fair… We were just playing the game.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
***Dixie: The Yield was completely pointless and it really aggravated us.

***Tiny: …

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
***Paratroopa: I fear… for my life! Hahaha!

Phil: Koopa & Paratroopa, who arrived first at 3:53 PM… will depart… at 3:53 AM.


Koopa: Return to Toad Town and fly to Fahr Outpost…

Phil: Teams must now return to Toad Town via the same pipe they used to come here. Once in Toad Town, they must fly nearly 2,000 miles to Fahr Outpost, a remote village populated by Bob-ombs. They will find their next clue here.

Paratroopa: A’ight! Awesome!

Koopa: Here, we take the elevator.

***Koopa: First place is pretty sweet. We’ve been here before, and now we’re here again.

***Paratroopa: We wanted to keep our lead, no matter where the race led us.

Koopa: Fahr Outpost, eh? Far Out!

Paratroopa: It’s cold out there… My wings are gonna freeze…

They reach the streets.

Koopa: Maybe we should call… Find a flight.

Paratroopa: We need someone with an interdimensional cell phone.

Koopa: Haha! My bro has one. He’s such a consumer tool!

Koopa: Can we use your phone?

Tony: Whay, shure! Fugettaboutit!

Koopa: Umm… Thanks…

Paratroopa: …  Hi! Do you have any flights to Fahr Outpost today? … Just one? What time? … Okay… okay, thanks.

Koopa: What’s new?

Paratroopa: We’re all gonna be on the same flight.

Koopa: Awwww!!!

*Fast forward of the sun flying over the sky*

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters - Last to depart - 4:30 AM
Dixie: Fahr Outpost

Tiny: Okay!

Dixie: Let’s get to the airport!

***Dixie: We’re Marked for Elimination… We have to come in first or we get hit with a penalty…

***Tiny: It’s nothing. It’s driving us. We’re going to succeed, and we won’t fail.

Dixie: Come on!

*bloop bloop bloop*

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Can we get on the flight?

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Time to board, everyone!

Koopa: This should be exciting.

Paratroopa: I wonder what we’re doing at Fahr Outpost?

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: What’s out there?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: The only tourist attraction I know of is the huge cannon!

Others: Ooooohhhh…

The plane takes off.

*Map with the Amazing Yellow Line*
The camera shows the icy village with Bob-ombs walking all over the place. Cold music plays as snow covers the lens of the camera. An ice- and snow-covered clue box sits in the center of town.

The plane lands.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: All right! Let’s jet!

Ana: Let’s do well today, Kat!

Kat: Just like always!

Ana: All right!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: The clue’s frozen!

Dixie: So am I!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: SNYFUT! I’ms colddd!!!

Snifit: Stop calling me that. If you’re cold, then put on more clothes.

Booster: Kay!

He grabs Snifit and wears him as a hat.

Snifit: Ah! Hey!!!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Icicles are forming on my wings!

Koopa: Then let’s just get the clue!

*Riiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiiiip* *Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Paratroopa: “Hop in the cannon and-“ WHAT?!

Koopa: What?

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: WHAT?!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Blastoff!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: …to the Moon!!!

Phil: Teams must now utilize the enormous cannon in the center of the village and blast off into Outer Space. Unlike the residents of Earth, the people of the Mushroom Kingdom have been deep into space many times, and now classify Outer Space as its own country. When teams land on the moon, they will find their next clue.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: We get to go to the moon!

Ana: Oh my gosh!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: This is insanity! We can’t go to the moon!

Dixie: Oh, yes we can!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Where’s the cannon?

Paratroopa: C’mon already! Let’s blastoff! I wanna fly around on the moon!!!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Booster: YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Dis is the best part yet! I love cheese!!!

Snifit: Yeah, we- Wait… what?

Booster: Cheez! The moon’s made of it…

Snifit: …

Mayor: Da… You all here?

All 8: YEAH!

Mayor: Da… General White. Ready cannon.

White: Affirmative. Everybody please stand on that mark… All right, good. Ready for blastoff. Mark! Raise cannon!

The entire blast off sequence is seen, verbatim from PMTTYD. All the teams look around with excitement, and then gasp as they fall in the hole. The cannon rises, and the Bob-ombs hop in.

White: Cannon ready. Fire now.

Mayor: Da! Go!!!



They fly into space.

Eerie silence…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Whee!

Koopa: Oof… Ow…

The others land.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Oy… Not the gentlest landing…

Kat: There’s the clue!

Ana: All right!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Wow! Everyone, stop! Look! Take a gander around you!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Simply amazing…

Kat: We are on the moon… the dark, mysterious moon…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Look at all the beautiful stars!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Yadda yadda yadda… *Riiiiiiiiiiiip*

Others: *wry glances*

*Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiip* *Riiiiiiiiiiip*

Dixie: Detour!

Phil: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams will choose between two tasks closely associated with the moon: Fight or Flight. In Fight, teams must search the moon for a Moon Cleft, a rocky monster that makes its habitat here. Then, they must defeat it. However, this is easier said than done, as Moon Clefts have incredibly high defence. In Flight, teams must make their way to this place and find this gentleman. Then they must fully utilize the low gravity of the moon and launch themselves up high enough to get through this hoop. If they can make it through, they will receive their next clue.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Detour, fight or flight…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Hmm…  Which one should we do?

Dixie: That’s easy! We’ll do flight! We can both use our hair, remember?

Tiny: Yeah, but will that help us “reach a hoop high in the air”?

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster, I have faith in your fighting skills. We’re doing fight.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: I think we should do fight too.

Paratroopa: Ya think so?

Koopa: Yeah. It says here “those with wings may not compete in ‘flight’”, so I’d have to do it myself, and I don’t think I can.

Paratroopa: Aww… All right, we’ll do fight.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: I guess we could give it a try.

Dixie: We’ll do flight.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Flight it is.

Ana: Let’s do it!

***Kat: Oh, sure. The alliance was… strong, I guess. They were Marked for Elimination, so there wasn’t too much we could do…

Ana: This’ll be fun!

Kat: Focus, Ana. Don’t get too excited.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: We… are on the moon!

Paratroopa: On the moooooooooooooooonnn!!!

Koopa: So barren… and untouched…

Paratroopa: Yeah… Now, where do we find a Moon Cleft?

Koopa: Well, Clefts disguise themselves as rocks…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Smell one yet?

Booster: NAW! I dun’t smell no cheezzzz!!!

Snifit: Booster, for the last time, the moon is not made of cheese!

Booster: Ur Wrong! I learned it in skience!

Snifit: Uuggghhhh…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Where’s the place?

Dixie: We just gotta circle the globe ‘til we find it, I guess.

Tiny: Haha! That won’t be very hard!

Dixie: Hee hee! It’s so small, right?

Tiny: Hahahahaa!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! This is the 50th time on this race that you’ve eaten dirt.

Booster: Bah! Cheez is rotten!!!

Snifit: IT’S NOT CHEESE!!!

Booster: CHEEZ!!!

***Snifit: We were on the moon? I didn’t notice. No, but seriously, I had my hands full with Booster. I didn’t have time to notice the scenery.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Ah, Luna… we embrace you.

***Kat: One of the things we do as ninjas is respect the moon because the darkness of night helps us sneak around undetected.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: This is awesome!!!

***Paratroopa: You have no idea how crazy it felt to fly around in the low gravity!

***Koopa: I loved the moon! It was awesome! Crazy! Wild!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: All right! Yeah!

Tiny: Movin’ on!!!

***Dixie: Being Marked for Elimination…

***Tiny: Yeah, it-

***Dixie: We just raced like we always did. We acted like nothing was different. Throughout the whole race, we’ve strived for first place, and so we just did what we always have.

***Tiny: No biggie.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: This must be the place.

The camera shows a large pole with a hoop at the top.

Alien: Greetings! Get both of you through the hoop, and you get a clue.

Ana: All right, sounds good.

Kat: Let’s show ‘em what we’re made of.

Both: HI-YAH!

Both jump extremely high, using their capes to catch more air, but fall just short of the hoop

Ana: Ugh…

Kat: Augh, just barely missed…

Ana: Hmm…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Is that one over there?

Paratroopa: *gasp* Yeah, yeah, yeah! Go! Get it, before it gets away!

Koopa: It’s not gonna run away, we’ve gotta fight it.

Paratroopa: Let’s kick its *beep*.

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Oh, man. They got one!


Snifit: Oh hush…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Hay, you!


Koopa: Woah… Take a chill pill.

Moon C: (charging) RAAAA!

Koopa: Woah! Watch those horns!

Paratroopa: Take this!

He sky dives like Parakarry. *BAANNGGGG*

Paratroopa: (vibrating from the recoil) Whoaahahahoaoahaoaaaa… Ooooowwwwww…

Koopa: Careful! He’s got high defence!

Paratroopa: Ughh… Make the world stop shaking… Oooohhh…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: We can do it!

Tiny: Hey Katana!

Dixie: Shh! Don’t bother them now, they have to concentrate. Let’s just give this a try.

Tiny: Look how high up it is. How we gonna hit it?

Dixie: Just trust me! Ready? Here I go!

She dashes forwards, leaps high, and spins her ponytail. It gives her a slight lift.

Dixie: Waaah!

She almost makes it all the way up, but not quite. Her ponytail manages to snag the edge though.

Dixie: Ahh! Hahaha! I got it!

Alien: Sorry, no rim shots! You must go right through it.

Dixie: Awww…

Tiny: Nice try!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: There! Booster! Go get it!


Moon C: Waaaahhh!

Booster: Omm nom nom nom nom!!!

Snifit: Yeah! Go! Chew up that rocky dude!

Booster: Pwaahh! Too hard! And I’ve eaten diamonds before!

Snifit: Yeah, not to mention an alive cake bigger than the four of us… Okay, new plan! He stole your plane!


*Various fight noises*

Snifit: This seems familiar…

Booster: Die plane haters!!!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Ugh, just ignore them. We gotta try a new tactic.

Moon C: (foaming at the mouth) Rrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Koopa: This guy’s nuts…

Paratroopa: Lemme try my Power Dash… Errr… YAH!

He dashes forward in his shell, glowing purple. *BLAMF*

Moon C: Auughh! Raaarrhhh!

Koopa: Awesome! I think you did some damage. Not much, but you actually did some, and that’s progress!

Paratroopa: All right!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: My turn… Give me a boost!

Dixie: Hop on!

Tiny: Haa!!!

She flies real high up and spins her pigtails. They lift her up… higher… higher…

Tiny: C’mon…

Dixie: Yeah! You did it!

Tiny: Wha? Waah!

She falls to the ground.

Tiny: Oof… Heh, that didn’t hurt. Thanks, moon!

Dixie: Great job!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Hm, that looks like a better idea. We should try to get through one at a time.

Ana: Good job, Tiny!

Tiny: Woot!

Kat: Okay, you jump first and then I’ll boost you up. Let’s go!

Ana: Ya!

She jumps up, followed by Kat. Again using their capes, they rise a bit. Then Kat takes out her sword and uses the broadside to “spring” Ana upward.

Ana: Wheee!

Both land.

Ana: I did it!

Kat: We did it.

Ana: Right!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Wait! Stop!


Snifit: Wait! This isn’t working! We need a new tactic…

Booster: I’m-a eat the tacticz!

Snifit: Ummm… I don’t know… That thing has so much defence… We need a stronger attack…



Booster: *sniff* Ahh…

Moon C: Ughh…

Snifit: Look! We actually did some damage! Very good, Bo- Urk! UGHHHL…  What in the world did you eat?!

Booster: The moon cheez…

Snifit whines.

Booster: Oh shaddup! It smellz bettar than Wario!

Snifit: No it doesn’t! Ughh…

Moon C: RAWR! *pokes*

Booster: GAAAHHH!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Okay! Your turn!

Dixie: This should be a cinch!

Tiny: C’mon! Up ya go!

Dixie: All right! Hup!

Tiny boosts Dixie up and she whirls her ponytail, rising quickly in the low gravity.

Dixie: Wooooo!!!

She makes it through flawlessly.

Dixie: Awesome!!!

Tiny: Good job, Sis!

Dixie: We did it!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: Well, they’re done…

Ana: Just you to get through, and we’ll be right behind them.

Kat: All right, just like last time! Let’s do it!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Woo! Movin’ on!


Dixie: Find the X-Naut Fortress…

Phil: Teams must now find the expansive but abandoned base built by the notorious X-Nauts. Once they enter the building, they will find their clue in this room.

Dixie: I think I saw that off in the distance somewhere.

Tiny: Let’s move… Walking is so much slower up here!

Dixie: Ugh, I know.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Go, Kat!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Fart on him again! I think it’ll kill him!

Booster: Rrrrrrr! *poit* Ugh… I needz moar moon cheez!

Snifit: Well, go ahead! Eat some!

Booster: But you sayd no!

Snifit: Well, I changed my mind! Go ahead!

Booster: Okayz! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

Moon C: Grrr! Raaaahh!

Snifit: Hey! Leave him alone!

He spits a Snifit Ball. *bonk*

Moon C: Grah! Grrrr!

Snifit: Haha! You can’t catch me!

The Moon Cleft charges at high speed.

Snifit: Uh oh… WAAHHH!!! Hurry up, Booster!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: I am sick of listening to their antics…

Paratroopa: It’s a like a sitcom that’s gone on waaaaay too long.

Koopa: Come on, buddy! Let’s cancel ‘em! We’ll both attack at the same time. You use energy dash, and I’ll use my water shot!

Paratroopa: You got it! HEE-YAAHHH!

Koopa: Wooo! Take this!

Moon C: Waugh! Blearhgh…

Koopa: Oh yeah!

Moon C: Uughhgauughh…

Koopa: Look! I don’t think it likes water!

Paratroopa: Yeah! It’s like Pokémon! Water beats rock!

Koopa: Let me attack again! Ha!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Go! Go!

Kat: Yeah!

Ana: You got it! Way to go!

Kat: Good job, Sis! Let’s get going!


Kat: This way. The base is over here. Follow me.

Ana: I can’t move very fast! This is gonna take a while!

Kat: Yeah…

Ana: Well! Let’s get going!

***Kat: The Moon was a great place to visit… but I am not the biggest fan of the low gravity.

***Ana: It took us ages just to get anywhere!

***Kat: Oh well…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: You want some more? Give it to him!

Koopa: Okay! Just chaaarrgeee… TAKE THAT!

Moon C: Blaauughhhh!!!

Koopa: Look!

Paratroopa: Is he...?

Moon C: Bleaugh… *falls over*

Paratroopa: Awesome!!!

Koopa: We did it!

Paratroopa: Where’s the clue?

Koopa: I got it!

*Riiiiiiiiiip* *FAAAARRRTTTTT*

Koopa: What the hey?!

Paratroopa: Moonquake! Dang!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Bwahahahahaa! Great job, Booster!

Booster: *sniff* Aaaahhhhhh…

Snifit: *covers nose and mouth* Great job! He’s out like a light!

Booster: Waoww!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Oh, dang! They’re done too!

Koopa: We’d better go!

Paratroopa: “Make your way…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: “…to the X-Naut Fortress…”

Booster: Wahoo!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Yeah! Let’s go! Wheeee!

Koopa: Wait up, man! You can fly just fine, but I’m so sloooowwww!!!

Paratroopa: Hahahaa!

The camera shows the Earthrise.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Ahh… How nice to be on the moon.

Tiny: Say… How can we breathe up he-

Dixie: Uh nuh nuh nuh. (mumbling) Fourth wall…

Tiny: Uhhhh… Huh?

Dixie: Shuddup…

Tiny: …

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: This is simply great.

Ana: Isn’t it, though?

Kat: Yes. I would absolutely love to come back here, but that cannon is expensive.

Ana: What? How much?

Kat: Ten million coins!

Ana: Oh my gosh!!!

Kat: I know, right?

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Paratroopa: Will you hurry it up?! If I go any slower I’ll be goin’ backwards!

Koopa: Hey! Walking in low gravity is tough! You try it!

Paratroopa: Haha! Whatever…

***Koopa: I can definitely say… without a doubt… our friendship has grown on this race. We’re closer than we’ve ever been.

***Paratroopa: He’s funny! He’s a funny guy, and he’s a goofball. That’s why I like ‘im!

Paratroopa: Dude!

Koopa: I’m coming!!!

Paratroopa: Hahahahaaa!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster, come on. We’re behind. We might be in last.

Booster: Well, “Rrrrrrr” we?

Snifit: I don’t kno-

Booster: HA! Lol! I said “Rrrrrr” like a pirate. I’m a pirate now.

Snifit: Riiiight…

Booster: Call me a pirate!

Snifit: Fine. You are a pirate.

***Snifit: Please. No comment. No, seriously, I don’t wanna talk anymore…

***Booster: Hee hee…

Snifit: Ugggh…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Are we there yet?!

Tiny: We’re almost there!

The camera shows them approaching the huge complex.

Tiny: It’s pretty big!

Dixie: Yeah… ugh… I’m getting worn out from this low-G…

Minutes later…

Dixie: Okay! This must be the airlock… Not really sure what the point of that is, but whatever. Let’s go!


Dixie: Woah! High-tech!

Tiny: Haha! Moving floors!

Dixie: Ahh… *sits down* I get to rest my feet.

Tiny: There’s the clue! Come on!

Dixie: I just sat down!

Tiny: Hey! At least the gravity’s normal in here!


Both: Roadblock!!!

Phil: A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform… and no person may do more than 6 Roadblocks on the entire race. In this Roadblock, team members must explore the confusing labyrinth of the abandoned fortress of the X-Nauts. They must first find this room with a crane in it. They must then use the crane to retrieve one third of their clue, along with a card key. Using this key, they must then find this room on the second floor, where they will find another third of their clue over an electrified field, over which they must find the correct path. Finally, they will find the final third of their clue in this complex room with many gears. They can then combine the pieces of their clue and read it.

Dixie: Who’s simply a-MAZE-ing?

Tiny: Ummmm…

Dixie: I think you’re gonna have to do it. I’ve already done five. I can only do one more.

Tiny: Yeah, but you’re better at figuring things out…

Dixie: You think I should do it?

Tiny: It’s a bit of a gamble, but I think you can do this one, and then I’ll handle the last two.

Dixie: Okay… *opens it* Woah… woah… WOAH! What is this?

She holds up the clue. It unfolds and doubles in size.

Tiny: … Okay, now I’m REALLY glad you’re doing this one.

Dixie: This looks… confusing…

Tiny: Ehh…

Dixie: Okay, I think I got it… First task, find the room with the crane.

Tiny: Good luck!

Dixie: This is wild!

*Various shots of the interior of the fortress*

Dixie: Where am I going? There’s no map, no directions… I’m just a rat in a maze…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Kat: We’re here!

Ana: Finally!

Kat: Greetings! Are we second?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Looks like it… I think we’re the first ones here.

Kat: That’s great!


Kat: Roadblock… Why do I get the feeling?

Ana: I can do it!

Kat: Yes you can. I have trust in you. Good luck!

Ana: All right!

Tiny: Good luck… This one’s a doozy…

Dixie: Oh no… I’m lost already… These doors don’t lead anywhere…

*Elevator dings*

Ana: Heyaa!!!

Dixie: Ana! Hi!!! How are you?!

Ana: I’m doing just great! Need some help?

Dixie: I sure do, but I’m not sure you can give me much… This place is random…

Ana: Well, let’s get looking. We have to find the crane room…

Dixie: Yeah…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: This where the party is?

Paratroopa: My goodness! How’d you guys pass us?

Kat & Tiny: …


Koopa: S’my turn, bud!

Paratroopa: Good luck, Koopa!

Koopa: All right…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: I think we’re on the wrong floor.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: That right?

Ana: Well… I think they keep all of their heavy machinery further down… I don’t hear any machines running…

Dixie: We might as well go take a look. We’re not getting anywhere fast…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: This is the fortress!

Booster: *deep inhale* Finally! I can breathe again!

Snifit: Ummm… What?


Snifit: I’d better do this one. It requires brains, and… well, do I even have to say it?

Booster: (picking nose) Eh?

Snifit: Uh huh…

He runs off.

***Tiny: Well, after a hectic last leg and frantic running-around on the moon, we were all back together again. Four team members, anxious for their partners to return so that we may go to the Pit Stop… There was tension in the room, for sure.

***Paratroopa: Everyone tried to distance themselves from Booster… not because of the Yield, that was Snifit’s fault, but…


***Paratroopa: He scares us…

The camera shift through the passageways.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: I’m gonna try this door, okay?

*Mechanical door opening sound*

Ana: Huh… Oh! Dix! I found it!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: The crane?

Ana: Right here!!! Now… how do we work this thing?

Dixie: Here… You use this thingie here… You get up there and direct me.

Ana: Okay… Right, I see the clues… Go left…

Dixie: Ack, wait… These controls aren’t the simplest…

Ana: Wait, back just a bit… careful… I th-STOP!

Dixie: Okay! Down?

Ana: Yeah! You got it!

The crane lowers slowly and grabs a piece of the clue.

Ana: Great job!

Dixie: I got it?

Ana: Yup! My turn! Let’s switch!

Dixie: Good luck.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Hmmm… I don’t know where I’m going… I’m lost… This is a bathroom, get outta here…

Koopa: What’s this? This is the gear room… I have to come here last… Okay, oh well, at least I can remember that…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: I am soooooo lost…

***Snifit: Running around in the hallways wasn’t the greatest… I got turned around quite a bit in the labyrinth of tunnels… It didn’t look too good.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Just a little more… Tap the button… like for a millisecond…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Do I have it?

Dixie: Go! Get it now!!!

Ana: Great… Got it?

Dixie: Got it! *jumps down* Oof…

Ana: Let’s get going then. This is one third of our clue, and we have to use this card key to open… a door…

Dixie: And that leads to our next challenge?

Ana: Yeah…

Dixie: Well… let’s go look for a keyhole! Haha! That’s our best bet…

*Camera shift*

Tiny: How d’ya think they’re doin’ in there?

Kat: Hopefully… Ana’s doing well…

Tiny: Mhm…

***Tiny: Something was off about Kat… I couldn’t put my finger on it…

Tiny: I think that th- HEY! Stop trying to eat my hair, Booster!


Tiny: Just… just stay away! Go sit in a corner or something…

Booster: Awwwsss…

Tiny & Kat roll their eyes.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Where… am I?

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Let’s try up here!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Okay, I think I saw something there…

Koopa: Oh, snap! The girls!

Dixie: Who’s that up there?

Ana: Koopa…

Dixie: Let’s get going… Find the key…

Ana: Keyhole… find the keyhole…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Hey girls!

Both: Hey…

Koopa: Boy, they’re focused… Did they come from down here?

Koopa: Yeah… no, oh! Yes! This is the room. Here’s the crane…  Hmmm… How do I do this?

*Crane whirring*

Koopa: Woah… Umm, how do I see where the clue is? Ugh…

He climbs up.

Koopa: Okay… ugh…  I guess I go… right… then up just a schmidge? Hmm…

***Koopa: Doing the crane task wasn’t the easiest… I didn’t have anyone to help me like the girls did… Kinda stunk, but whatever… I just trudged on…

Koopa: There?

The crane lowers.

Koopa: Aww… I missed it… Ugh

He climbs up.

Koopa: Wha… More left?

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Where are we going?

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: I have no idea…

***Dixie: The base was so confusing…

***Ana: Twists and turns all over the place… We had no idea where we were going…

Ana: We gotta… gotta find the… the place…

Dixie: Yeah…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Why am I always the one that ends up being lost and alone…?

Snifit: I have no idea where I am… Uuuugggghhh…

***Snifit: You think it’s just those four levels with all the rooms? No. When Mario visited, a lot of places were blocked off and it was much simpler for him. We had to look through the WHOLE base, darn it!

Snifit: I have the dreaded feeling we’re in last… And it’s not a happy feeling.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Got it! Yeaaahhh… Come to Papa!

The clue piece flutters down.

Koopa: Coolio… And there’s a card key… Okay. Let’s go!

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: This must be it.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Yeah. This is definitely the place we need to be. Here’s the slot.

*Beep beep* The door slides open/

Ana: Okay… What’s the clue say now?

Dixie: “Next, find the door for your key, and then retrieve your next piece of the clue. Warning: Pay attention to your surroundings.”

Ana: Wonder what that means…

Dixie: I have no idea. Look. There’s nothing in here! Just an empty room… And there’s the clues over there.

Dixie begins to cross the floor.

Ana: Wait! Stop!

Dixie has one foot suspended in the air.

Dixie: What?!

Ana: I hear electricity…

Dixie: So? Everything here is electrical

Ana: No… I mean… Look! I just saw sparks along the ground.

Dixie: R…really?

Ana: I think… there’s more here than meets the eye…

*Tense music*

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Oh, here we are! This is the crane!

Snifit: …

Snifit: How in the world am I gonna do this?

***Snifit: I was stumped. I couldn’t see what I was grabbing, and I was way too short to get up and see where the prize was…

Snifit: I’m gonna have to guess… Oh boy…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Something around here’s gotta give us the clue… There’s gotta be a path or something…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Maybe the floor panels are different colors?

Ana: They all look the same…

Dixie: Hmmm…

Ana: Um… What about… Wait, look at that thing on the wall!

Dixie: Hm?

Ana: It looks like a path!

Dixie: Yeah… I think you’re right… *tilts head* So… I’m on that first one right now?

Ana: Looks like it. Try stepping downward once.

Dixie: Okay…

With a gulp, Dixie takes a very slow step.

Dixie: … Phew… I’m still alive! Haha!

Ana: Perfect! Come on! Let’s go get our clue!

Dixie: Ohhh boyyy…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Ah, drat! I missed again… I am doing this completely blind…


Snifit: Ughh! Come on, man! This isn’t fair!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Noko noko noko… Where am I? I’m lost…

Kat: …

Tiny: …

Paratroopa: This is a long Roadblock! They’re takin’ forever in there!

Tiny: Yeah… I’m getting pretty nervous…

Booster: I already ate mah nerves!!!

Kat: Mhm…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Umm… up… NO! Down…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Be careful! I don’t wanna get shocked!

Ana: Yes. It’s down, then left twice and we’re there!

Dixie: Oohhh… That was quite annoying!

Ana: Great! We’re here!

Dixie: Another clue piece for you and for me!

Ana: Do we have to go back the same way?

*Click* *Power down noise*

Ana: Oh, look. They turned off.

Dixie: Are you sure?

Ana: Positive! Come on!

She dashes off.

Dixie: … All right then.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: … Been looking for- HEY! What are you doing in here?!

Ana: Oops! Hey Koopa!

Koopa: Oh, THIS is where I’m supposed to be!

Dixie: Good luck!

Ana: You’ll need it.

They leave.

*Click* *Power up noise*

Koopa: Ummm…  What do I do?

Ana (from a distance): Look before you step!

Koopa: …  Ummm…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Did I get it? Please… OH! I did! Yeah! Come to pPpa!

He grabs the clue.

Snifit: Key card? Cool. Le’s go!

He runs off.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: …   ..

***Koopa: There was something foreboding about that room…

Koopa: Ummm…

He takes a slow step.

Koopa: Ummm…  Okay… Nothing happened…  What did she mean?

He takes another step. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!

Koopa: GAAAaaAaaAaaAaaAAaaAAaaAAaaAAaaAAAAAHHHH!!!

Smoke rises.

Koopa: *cough, cough* Ughh… That… was not cool…

He falls over.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: This is it! This is the final room!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Are you sure?

Ana: There’s a race flag! Red & Yellow!

Dixie: Woah… This room is huge!!!

Ana: I see a clue box up there! That must be where the final piece of the clue is!

Dixie: Way up there?! Ughh…

Ana: C’mon! We’d better get cookin’!

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: How… how am I supposed to do this?! Am I just supposed to guess? That would hurt… a lot. What did Ana say? Look at my surroundings? Ummm…

Koopa: All I see is some weird painting or somethin’ on the wall… Hmmmm…

Koopa: Is… is that a path?

***Koopa: The electrical room was very confusing to me. I spent a lot of time there trying to figure it out… I lost some ground.

Koopa: Well… might as well try it out, I guess…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master

His voice echoes.

Snifit: *sobs* I’m gonna be lost in here forever…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Okay! Ride this thing up!

Dixie: Where do we go now? It’s a dead end!

Ana: We’re probably gonna have to take that pipe!

Dixie: A’ight!

*Bloop bloop bloop*

Dixie: Oh, gosh… Now where are we?

Ana: Looks like more moving platforms and gears. Be careful not to fall.

Dixie gulps.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Okay… next? I dunno! Where did I leave off?! Ughh!!!

***Koopa: I did NOT wanna get shocked again… It was thoroughly unpleasant.

Koopa: *whimpers* Mommy…

He takes a very careful step.


Koopa: This is gonna take a while, I can tell.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Watch yourself! Jump! Now!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Ngaa! Oh, shoot! This is difficult!

Ana: Look! We’re almost there! Just get in this pipe!

Dixie: Ughh… Stupid gear!

Ana: I’ll meet ya over there!

*Bloop bloop bloop*

Ana: Aha… The last piece of the clue.

She puts them on the ground and arranges them into the correct way.

Ana: Make… your way… to the Pit Stop…

Phil: Teams must now return to their teammates, exit the X-Naut Fortress, and return to the surface of the moon. Nearby, they will spot the Pit Stop. The last team to check in here… may be eliminated…

Ana: It’s the Pit Stop, Dixie! Come on!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Havin’… trouble… getting over this thing!

Ana: Just…

Dixie: Go, Ana, go. Don’t wait for me.

Ana: But…

Dixie: I said go! Don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine!

Ana: Oh… okay…

She jumps down and heads for the door.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: So… close… I can almost reach the freakin’ clue! Where do I go next?

He glances at the diagram.

Koopa: Left… or up? I forget where I am… *sobs* Okay, I’ll try up…


Koopa: GaaAAaaAAaaAAaaAAAAHHH!!!

He falls backward.

Koopa: Uuggghhh..

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Hey! What’s all the noise?

Koopa: Oh, shoot!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: Come on… Ugh, forget this…

She jumps and hovers with her ponytail to the pipe.

Dixie: Jeez…

*Bloop bloop bloop*

Dixie: Okay…

She pieces together the clue.

Dixie: Pit Stop… I’d better get moving! Gotta get that time penalty over with…

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Come on, Kat! The Pit Stop!

Kat: Good job, let’s go.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Tiny: Is Dixie coming?

Ana: She’s right behind me!

Tiny: Good… good… We need to get outta here…

Kat & Ana get outside.

Kat/Ana -- Sisters / Ninjas
Ana: Where’s Phil?

Kat: Umm… Oh! I see him over there!

Ana: Oh! There he is! How did we not notice him before?

Kat: Whatever, let’s just go!

They slowly walk over and step on the mat.

Z-Yux: Helllooooo! Weeelllcooommmeee to the moooooonnn!!!

Kat: Thank you… Thanks a lot!

Phil: Kat & Ana…?

Ana: …

Phil: You’re team number 1!!!

Kat: That’s great! Good job, Ana! Nice job with the Roadblock!

Phil: As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a 400-coin shopping spree at any shop across the Mushroom Kingdom!

Ana: Cool!

Kat: That’s great!

Phil: So, you weren’t going to wait for your friends Dixie & Tiny? You weren’t going to let them get first?

Kat: Well, Ana came out first, and it wasn’t in our best interest to just sit there and wait.

Ana: …

Kat: I have faith in them. They’ll survive!

Ana: Yeah…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Dixie: I got it!

Tiny: Good job, Sis! Come on! I can see the Pit Stop from here!

They exit and dash over to the Pit Stop.

Dixie: Hoo…

Phil: …   .Dixie & Tiny? You’re the second team to arrive.

Dixie: Excellent…

Phil: However, on this leg of the race you have been Marked for Elimination. As a result, you’ll need to wait out 30 minutes before I’ll be able to check you in.

Tiny: Yeah… we figured…

Dixie: I’m sorry, Tiny. I got a little held up in the final room. If I had been quicker, maybe the girls would’ve waited for us, but I was too slow.

Tiny: It’s okay! Do you really think Booster & Snifit are gonna get here in a half hour?

Dixie: Heh… I guess not!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master

He’s pacing nervously on the starting platform.

Snifit: I took one step and it shocked me! I’m so confused! There’s no bridge, no path, no nothing! What in the world?!

***Snifit: Yeah… That room confused me… a lot… I had no idea what to do…

***Booster: Heehee! U turned into mee!

***Snifit: Shut up!

Snifit groans nervously and impatiently.

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: This is it! The final room!

We see a shot of the room full of gears and moving platforms.

Koopa: Aw, man! If Para had done this, he coulda just flew up! Oh, well… Let’s get this thing started…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 25:43 remaining
Dixie: Ohhh… Come on, you guys… Get loooost…

Tiny: I know what you’re saying…

Dixie: I just hope and hope…

Tiny: We don’t deserve to be out! We got Yielded, and that’s the only reason we were last!

Dixie: Yeah… Booster & Snifit should be out. Definitely.

Both: …

Phil: …

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Up here… Ahh! Jeez! Almost fell there!

***Koopa: In the final room, I just decided to have fun with it.

Koopa: Wooo! This is so cool! What was Mario complaining about?

***Koopa: It was just like the training room at Bowser’s Castle!

Koopa: Over these gears… Whooaaa… A little jump action… yeah!

***Koopa: T’was a cakewalk.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 19:58 remaining
Both: …

Phil: …

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Okay… Calm down… What did the clue say again?

He takes it out and studies it.

Snifit: “Warning: Pay attention to your surroundings…“

He looks around.

Snifit: There ARE no surroundings! Just that weird diagram thing on the wall…

Snifit: Wait a minute…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Got it! Yeahh! That was a lot of fun!

He grabs the clue and pieces them together.

Koopa: Pit Stop it is!

*Time shift*

Koopa: Come on, bud!

Paratroopa: Are we goin’ to the Pit Stop?!

Koopa: Uh huh! You know it!

Paratroopa: Whee heee!!!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 14:32 remaining
Dixie: This is sooooo nerve-wracking…

Tiny: Is that someone coming?

Dixie: Uhhh… Yeah, it’s the Koopas.

Tiny: They’re coming… ever so slowly…

Koopa/Paratroopa -- Partners
Koopa: Hoo-aaahh! That was a blast!

Paratroopa: Whee-heee!

Phil: … Koopa & Paratroopa?

Koopa: Yes, Phil?

Phil: You are team number 2!

Koopa: Excellent!

Paratroopa: Glad to still be in it!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 13:20 remaining
Dixie: Did you see Snifit in there?

Koopa: I saw him in the electric room, but I haven’t seen him since.

Dixie: Hmm… Well, hopefully he’s stuck there…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Aha! This is without a doubt the correct path! Thank you, picture on the wall!

He walks rather quickly over the correct path.

Snifit: Oh yeah! Uh huh! Who’s your daddy? In your face, floor!!!

Snifit: Why am I talking to a floor?

He grabs the clue piece and exits the room.

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 10:00 remaining
Dixie: Get lost… get lost… get lost…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Oh, shoot… I’m lost again… Gotta find this…”gear room”…

Snifit: Is this it? *door opening sound* Aha! This has got to be it! Oh! I see the flag! I’m right on track!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 7:52 remaining
Both: …

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: A little careful manoeuvring… I do not wanna fall here… It’s a long drop for me…

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 5:25 remaining

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master

Snifit: I got it! The last piece of the clue…

He pieces them together.

Snifit: All right! Time to go pick up Booster and head to the Pit Stop!

Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters – 3:44 remaining
Dixie: Is that them coming right now?

Tiny: Euuhhhh! Don’t even talk like that!

Dixie: …

Tiny: Come on…

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Booster! Let’s hit the road!

Booster: Dar R no roadz! We’s on Mars!

Snifit: Right. Whatever. Come.

He grabs Booster and drags him.


Dixie/Tiny -- Sisters
Phil: …

Dixie: Isn’t it time?

Phil: … Okay, you guys, I can check you in now.

Dixie: Really?!

Tiny: Ahhh! We made it! Wooo!

Phil: Dixie & Tiny… you are now team number 3!

Dixie: It’s just an incredible feeling, y’know?

Tiny: We were Yielded… Then we were Marked for Elimination… But we still made it!

Dixie: We still made it! We’re still in it!

Tiny: Woohooo!

Booster/Snifit -- Lackey + Master
Snifit: Ughhh… The moon’s gravity is really starting to annoy me…

Booster: But I toldz you I ate the gravity!

Snifit: Just… shut it…

They finally make it to the mat.

Snifit: *sigh* Hi, Phil…

Phil: …

Z-Yux: Weelccooommmee to the moooooooooonnn…

Phil: Booster & Snifit? You’re… the last team to arrive…

Snifit: *shakes head in shame* Man…

Phil: …

Booster: TAWK!!!

Phil: Well… you guys will be racing another day. This is a non-elimination leg.

Snifit: Oh, gosh… That’s nuts…

Phil: And you are still in the race.

Booster: This is dumbz! You told me dat if we were last we’d be out. We’s been last three times now!

Snifit: Well, there are exceptions, Booster. Live with it.

Phil: Now, you know what the consequences are. On the next leg of the race you two will be Marked for Elimination. If you do not arrive at the Pit Stop first, you will incur a 30-minute penalty. Other teams could check in, and ultimately you could be eliminated.

Snifit: It’s okay! We’ll be fine. We survived it once before, and we will again.


Snifit: Mhm…

***Snifit: We’re still in, fools! You can’t get us out! Yield karma? Pfft! Doesn’t exist. We’re gonna kick, scream, and fight our way to the end, where we’ll emerge team number one!

***Booster: Why not team number zero! Dat’s better, right?

***Snifit: *rolls eyes* Sure, why not…

The credits roll…

Read on!

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